not to far this time tho :p going to Columbus at the end of next week, excellent group of folks down there waiting for me :3 its gonna be awesome

it was exciting wasn't it x3 everyone handled that situation amazingly well I was truly blown away. It was a bit inconvenient but truly taken care of in a very professional manner, I don't think it could have been dealt with better in any other way. and I also was really taken back by all the support I received from everyone at the con who had known about the recent loss of my mother, it really touched me and it also helped to hear some of the friends who had been lucky enough to meet her tell me some of their memories of her. I was worried I might not have been up for the con and even with the underlying feelings it ended up being one of the best cons i've had, and I want to thank everyone who went for being there and just making the Mff what it is :3

around 2 this afternoon my mother lost her fight with cancer, I cant bring myself to write an epitaph but she was an amazing woman and will be sorely sorely missed and I know my whole world lost some of its luster when she left

im gonna keep this short cause its a bit hard to get into x3

things in pa didn't work out as planned for a couple reasons, wasn't terrible but wasn't going to work

more importantly, my mom was very recently diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, which has spread through her body, from her liver to a few masses in her brain.... so im home, here with my family while mom goes through these treatments planned ahead

soooo early march im moving to Hamburg PA

 ryuthewolf has gotten a house here and says he'll be able to get me in his work place which pays much better then my current job x3 so im movin. and I must say im pretty terrified, but it could be a great opportunity and l would regret not taking the chance soooo im headin east early march.


wish me luck!

give me advice for moving like 6 hours away and leavin everyone im familiar with behind too XD

25 today :o oh yeah and ill be at mff too :3

its not easy >:I

im removing a lot of people from my messengers I don't talk to anymore, some I didn't talk to at all x3 why? im not sure, I think I just need to start somewhere to get the ball rolling again and I either sulk or get mad when im trying to talk to some of the people who i held close to my heart and i either get no response or just generic non engaging responses. so im takin a butcher knife to my list and am gonna start over and reinvent myself in the fandom, try and be more outgoing and such.

but really i need to change MY life, and i don't know how to go about it, my shrik says if the big steps are overwhelming start small :p and i only hang with furries for like 2 or 3 weeks a year so that's small enough to start with right? i don't really even know why im typin this out x3 i think its more for me just to get this on "paper" and out of my head *shrugs*

anyway~ if you're on my list of people who aren't gonna be on my list of people much longer don't take it personally~ it me, not you :D (that's what you tell people when u break up with em right?)

I'm collecting them now

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4578915/

 Mint-Solstice is doin free evil tooney doodles :3

For everyone who thinks Valentine's day is dumb~ happy Singles Awareness Day!! :D

so Ohyaocon was a blast :3 took a whole lot of pics with to cool characters and nifty props, got plenty of lovings from fangirls adoring this cute puppy :p a couple days after that i went to IL to visit with  firr for a few days and that was a blast, the habachi place JMK Nippon was probably the highlight, the other groupe at our table made that night with their rice penis and shrimp boob shots x3 and i could go into alot more detail about both events and the people i shared them with but im feelin pretty lazy after 2 weeks of company and think ill have some me time :p oh and i scored a 79.17/100 on my oral interview with the union :D (i think thats good for a first interview right?)

I smell. :c

so i got another letter from the electrical union today, my interview is early on the 18th of this month :3

HELP!! i would like imput or just any sort of advice for this interview, this could very well be my career so its important to do as well as possible and any pointers will be appreceated

and my three resolutions

1 get JJ suit commissioned

2 no drugs till i have passed this drug test

3 quit hating myself as much as i do, im not as bad as i think

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4052861/  rainwolfe shes doin doodles and stuff for today only get sooooome :3

con was a fucking blast <3

was nice to be in the con hotel again for once, i missed how conveniant thats been over the past few cons :p but i had a blast partying with the  bsufurs and seeing my friends from GA agian,  zip-the-fox  pyrochan  sako223  wolfknight1990 you guys all rock :3 also had a nice time hangin with  dizfoley  albaz  firr  rainwolfe and  lucafoxy while i wandered about the con. hit up a few panals, got some artz, gamed a bit, drank alot, and had an amazing time. now im back home, gonna clean up the house and relax just in time to feast. oh and i got a letter letting me know i passed my union apptitude test and will get and oral interviem next here :3 ill be notified when that is in another letter x3 im hopin that picks up quick enough to let me get a suit of JJ sometime next year :D

so i got a new car for my birthday :D hooray much celebration and such, but i am not takin it to mff :p im takin a bus there, and the buddy who was gonna give me a ride home may not be able to make it due to some family health issues. so does anyone know o someone who might be able to accomidate an extra person on their way home from chicago? i live in medina ohio, maybe half hour from cleveland and akron, i can pitch in for gas and such as well but i wanted to ask around here before commiting to another bus ticket ^^;;

im 24 now hooray! this year im gonna start the rest of my life :3

i am plannin on makin it :D who can i expect to see there and how meny bottles am i supposed to bring?

oh and just two weeks prior to mff im gonna be 24 \o/ that is a good thing... right?

so it's been a few months since a journal, and im tried of seein that last one on my page :p


tl;dr still jumpin through hoops for the union, lost my car, really quit smokin this time, givin up on someone close, OLD BOSS BUTCHERED MY CREDIT



but things in my life are moving along, i've takin care of my application and all the entry paper work for the union that i can take care of at this point in time, im just waiting for a letter from them in the next couple weeks here letting me know when i need o come and take the aptitude test, from how the woman i spoke with described it im really not to worried about not doing well, after that i'll inform my uncle who will make a few calls to help push my stuff through, i believe ill have an oral interview or two and then hopefully ill be in. thats what im hoping anyway, not completely sure thats how its gonna work but it sounds nice :p

in the meantime, life has beeeeeeen shitty x3

my car's transmition went out on me, and was,t just like the drive shaft or anything, something broke inside and scattered the damn things guts about, and i don't have the money to get my tranny rebuilt so i had to sell it. i sold it to someone im pretty sure was just gonna cut it up for its parts and that sucked, cause i liked that car, i had iit all the way through highschool, shit it was my first car. but at the same time my parents have been having a rough time, my father lost his job and they needed to get some bills paid so i ended up giving them all but about $100 which i kept for some living expenses and little personal shit. but it was able to help them out and the needs of the family are above my own, and thats just how i was raised. and without a car its been kinda hard lookin for a job, since my mother is gone most of the day and my sister needs the other car for school and her hunting for a place for her boyfriend to close by afterwards living out surrounded by farm land makes comuting without a vehical kinda strenuous (tbh even if i got into the union tomorrow i dont know how we would get this sorted out..... im sure we would come up with somethin but still) so ive been doin what i can to help when i can, been doin odd jobs for friends duing the week, but its inconsitant, but better then nothing i spose.

i know i mentioned quitting smokin before, buuuuuuut i never really wanted to, sooooo i kiiinda didnt, untill earlier this week, and thats great , cause itll be better to be clean rather then have to get clean, when the time comes. but its been stressfull, little things i should be able to shrug off are stickin with me and i sit there and think to myself " i shouldnt be this mad, this is nothing, caaalm down" as i open and clench my fists repeditly and continue to feel my face warm up. i've also been thinking alot more, and that might sound like a good thing but i've had a problem for as far back as i can remeber when my thoughs get away from me and spiral into a dark pit of dispare and hopelessness. i hate that place so much.... those dark trains of thought always put me in a self-destructive mood and again thats no good, but ya know what, once i got out of high school and started smoking, i was able to avoid goin through that unhappy mindset, just go smoke a bowl sit down and watch some tv or jump on battlefield and my attention refocused, that doesnt work now, cause it's not as easy for my attention to refocus from my thoughts when my mind is feeling sharper. i mean im sure itll get better as the days go by, but these past few have been really mentally taxing

had a long discussion with an ex i've been trying to convince to give "us" another chance last night, you can probably guess by the title and past two chunks that it didnt go so fantasticly either :p im not mad or anything, i've just been trying to figure out why, what can i do to show him that its worth taking another shot, and i cant really come up with anything, and its been over a year so i guess i just gotta realize that its not gonna happen, it takes two to tango and he doesnt feel like dancin i guess *shrug* still we've been close for a while now and old habits die hard so im gonna distance myself from him for a little while so i can sort through my feelings and hopefully after all thats done with we can stay friends. i doubt that will be too much though, i dont think theres really any animosity between us

and the last thing, the one that set me over and pushed me to type up a journal and vent this all out so i dont do something stupid. this morning my father knocks on my door waking me up, letting me know i have a phone call and he doesnt know who it is, so i get my shorts on and go grab the phone hoping maybe just maaaaybe its a union call and im about to get a bit of good news after a lousy nights sleep of plentiful ponderings. it is not the union. no. it is a bill collector. informing me i have an outstanding radiology bill from june 14th of 2011, and that kinda blew me back, wait waht? and then it clicked OH YEAH! i got hurt on the job last yeah when my finger got crushed open and i had to get the stiches for that, but wait a muinte, my boss told me that he would take care of all my medical bills since his son dropped it on me at work, so long as i didnt file workers comp, ya know since he was a shady bastard and paying all of us under the table, and a claim would raise all sorts of flags for him. so i said fine, take care of it, and we gave the hospital his address and they forwarded him the bills and after ac that year when i called to go back to work, i was no longer needed, goooo fucking figure, but whatever he took care of the bills and i didnt like how shady he was anyway so i took it as no real loss, weeel now i have this bill collecter callin me telling me i have had an outstading bill for over a year, and that i was sent two notifications and since its been nailing my credit score, i told him i never got any sort of notification and he asked if i still lived at- and then he gave me my old bosses address.... i have never gotten a credit card iven been avoidng any sort of credit affecting shit my enitre adult life, cause the whole damn country has bad credit and i was gettin into that till i got a job where i wouldnt have to worry about getting behind on bills attached to those all important 3 numbers. AND EVEN SO MY OLD BOSS NEVER INFORMED ME, NEVER TOOK CARE OF IT, AND LET MY CREDIT SLIT ITS OWN THROAT WITHOUT EVEN INFORMING ME. so i gave the gentelman my address and he is sending me a bill within thes next few days.... and i have got to do something about this man killing my credit, cause i am nice guy... and im tired of shit walking on me when im trying to get ahead without screwing over the guy next to me

last night i really hurt myself and in like the stupidest way :/ i stood up too quickly and blacked outish, lost like all strength in my legs but instead of falling down i kinda went wet nooddle and fell ontop of myself, i think i rolled both of my ankles or somethin, cause both are in a loooot of pain and look to be swollen to twice thei normal size, not to mention their big ass black and blue bruises x.x but i mean how fucking stupid is this, i stand up to quickly and now i cant really walk at all x3

AC was a fucking blast, probably the best con for me since I first debued Ket 4 years ago. did a good amount of drinking, more then i could handle anyway x3 hung out and reconnected with a couple friends i haven't seen in a while. i got 5 or 6 doodles of my new character JJ that im happy about. got some sweet con swag, blue fursuit tag and one of those dorsai wrist slapper braclet things. I could go into alot of detail on what happened and what i did and when but i dont feel the need. it was an amazing con and i didnt even suit as much as i normally would :3


as for school, i finished the course i was taking, got an A in everything but math which was an 89.2 x3 so that was pretty sweet, july 9th here i put my application in for the electricaians union and hopefully ill get in relitively quickly, so thatll be nice bein able to start my career here and be a journeyman by the time im 30. so for the time bein im takin it easy relaxin from school and enjoyin a small pocket of me time between school and the rest of my life :D hopefully ill be ableto do ifc and mff but it depends on how quickly i get into the union :p wish me luuuuuuck

First of all~



I was soooooo stoked when I saw this on adult swim a couple weeks back. Like seriously
when I shot this at them I never really expected em to actually play it. I was just a bit blown
back after the only block of tv I actually watch acknowledged me :3


FCN
It was more fun the closererit got to the end of it x3 i forgot my tail at home so I had to buy a
second spare which sucked since it consumed the majority of my art funds. the best part of that
was I got paid the day I get back, but thats typical :p But I did have a good supply of alchohol and
a few groups of friends to float around with. Saturday I got pretty tanked and it was fun, kicked
it with my favorite folks from West Virginia, then wandered into another group of fun fuzzasses
from Indiana and we enjoyed a few drinks and the last of my illicit consumables. And after that
I had my heart to heart with Frisky and I dont remember most of it. But I do remember I
found a simple mix that was the reason I cant remember and its gonna be what Ill be slurpin
at cons from now on more then likely x3 oh yeah, and Im sorry to the poker folks about my
drunkeness that night too ^^;; But I did have a good time over all, next con will be AC :D


and skuuuuu
Im at the end of my third week, its suprisingly been fun. I know two years back I totally would
not have had the push to do this. Im one of like nine students in this program and only two of
who actually seem to care, and its not even hard shit! The first half of the class normally has
seven of us then after the lunch break were down to about three or four. and its really nice to
actually have somethin keepin my mind occupied again. I pretty confident the rest of this wont
get to much more challanging so Im just lookin forward to the end of this, my plans for summer,
and then startin my career :3




tl;dr

wooo i was on adult swim, fcn was a great weekend, and im actually enjoying school