I totally stepped away from furry-world and most of the internet 2 years ago, but I think I'm ready to re-enter this crazy crazy world. I'm debating nuking this account and starting totally fresh, but before I potentially do that I wanted to see if anyone would fill me in on what the fuck has been going on. The last thing I remember was a big hullabaloo about FA and then the Weasyl thing and now FA is owned by some other company? Do I need to care or is everything pretty much flowing along as usual? I'm so out of touch.

I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for or trying to do here, but I need more art in my life and this has always been a pretty huge source of inspiration, despite my back and forth attitudes towards the fandom and internet culture in general. But I'm back! And I'll have some art soon.

So uh, since I'm pretty much a hermit (except that I'm trying to draw more these days and I browse a lot for inspiration) I guess I'm not all that up in arms over this FA business. I totally support a mass movement against bullshit, but I also have a bunch of other issues in my mind that I wish people would come together over as well. See: basically all of modern Western civilization, Monsanto, cars, indigenous peoples' rights, etc... I have kind of bizarre (by common standards) morals though. On a rant-ish note, if I were ever raped, I would kill that rapist.

ANYWAYS, I'm probably going to just cross post around but I only really plan to be actually active on my blogspot and Weasyl. Habe sum lynx:

https://www.weasyl.com/~saezerim for furry stuff
http://cosmosvomit.blogspot.com/ I kinda let this go after I didn't have internet last summer, but I'm back at it again. Art as well as photos and real life stuff, mostly gardening.
http://jheckroth.weebly.com/ WIP "professional" art site
http://www.last.fm/user/Saezerim if you want to stalk my music listening, I'm also fairly active here
http://monstrosegrowth.tumblr.com/ I don't really like tumblr that much, I'll probably just use this to watch people


If you're somehow still reading this, I'm looking to improve my art with a little Iron Artist challenge, so I need your characters! This is totally free of charge, (but hey, if you like what I did, I'm open for donations!) and I'll draw just about any character. I really need some practice and inspiration, so I will attempt to do at least one thing for you, but don't be surprised if it sucks ass. No guarantee on style or amount of completion. This will be open till I hit 100 drawings.

Okay, time to get back to tangible life, spring is a'comin, I gots soil to till, compost to turn, and one of my rabbits gave birth this morning. :D

Man, I don't know what's going on, and I actually would rather not really know. The only thing I care about is keeping an eye on all the great artists out there. Is there a preferred site for people? I can barely keep up with this site anyways, I just need something that won't overwhelm me if I want to follow a few hundo people and not check up on the site every day. Tumblr is kinda cool, but I don't really like the comment system there... Maybe I'll just go back to deviantart. Fucking internets...

It's so hard for me to keep up with the internet these days, especially with all the music stuff that's been going on lately. I'm so super excited for Moontrail's sister band, INSIDE THE SUN, because they're fucking opening for Weedeater and Black Cobra on Jan 21. I'm currently working on a show poster, as well as various album artworks and stuff. I see a Moontrail/Inside the Sun split in the near future (to be titled Inside the Moon). Also working on a bunch of visual pieces, including masks and an altar, for use in Moontrail's live performances. So much good stuff going on. Just trying to keep busy without totally overwhelming myself.

Also, I've been seeing lots of super fucking cute selfies on here lately, seems like everyone is rocking the short hair these days. I'll have to jump on the bandwagon here soon, if anything just to rep the long hair. \m/ Anyways, thanks all you furries out there for being so inspiring, ya'll make me want to make art all the time. <333

I need some help doing a logo for my band, and I'd love to do an art trade or something in exchange for some sweet vector work. This is pretty important to me, so I'm willing to put in some work on my half and I'll draw just about anything for ya too! Pretty please?

I know there are a solid amount of taxidermy/dead critter enthusiasts on here, hopefully some of you can help me out. My boss went hunting recently and he gave me his cow elk hide the other day. The goal is to turn it into a buckskin braintan style. I'm pretty proficient at skinning stuff now, but I suck ass at fleshing and I don't have a fleshing beam, so I'm doing everything with my skinning knives. I've never worked such a big animal and I've been having to tackle the thing little bits at a time. And I have a ton of questions for experienced people:

How long can I keep soaking the hide in water before it starts to rot? I got this hide on Saturday, so I've had it for nearly three whole days. The hide came to me both frozen and extremely salted. I soaked it for about 2 hours on Monday, but it was still pretty stiff, so I soaked it again all of that night. All the main fat and meat chunks are off now, but there are still some tough patches of fat and quite a bit of membrane. Also, I've been reading about having to buck elk hides, which means making wood ash lye. How long does this take? How much ash to distilled water do you need and how long do you soak the hide?

I guess those are my main questions for now. I've successfully brained rabbit hides (fur on though), but I never got to the final smoking process and they're kind of stiff now. I don't really have a local mentor for this sort of stuff, so I've been relying on the internet and experiments to figure all of this out. Luckily I have plenty of little rabbit hides to practice on and totally ruin. You guys should see my freezer...

Any help at all is GREATLY appreciated. Learning old crafts, especially anything that involves using every part of an animal, is extremely important to me. Thanks!

The guilty return... I've come to the conclusion that I'm just not an internet community sort of person, but I somehow keep coming back here every year or so. There are just too many good artists in the furry world, and I miss a lot of you despite being terrible at any sort of networking or communication. I'm on a pretty massive misanthropic upswing these days, and living in Fresno, CA generally makes me want to rampage. Which brings me to the second point in my title...

After a recent camping trip to Joshua Tree National Park, it was realized that rural desert living was not only totally feasible, but very desirable. I've surely slipped into total obscurity here, but if any kind furs living in the Palm Desert area would like to just chat it up, I'd quite like that. Also, I'd love to talk to any folks involved in homesteading and the like. It's a pretty daunting goal, but I'm hoping to move (with three other people) to the town of Joshua Tree in about a year, rent for a little bit, and then look into getting a few acres. In the meantime... lots of planning.

Also in the meantime, I'm doing vox for a three piece band, though we're looking for a drummer. Demo soon! We're calling ourselves Moontrail. Started doing some pet portraits as well, perhaps drum up a little extra cash... Still working with birds at the zoo, but Winter Is Coming and that means less hours (and white walkers shit!). I guess I'll post a few arts to make this reappearance somewhat worthwhile.

I miss you crazy furries...

They don't have to be life goals necessarily, but perhaps just things you truly aspire to achieve in the near or far future. Having just turned 24 (not really much of a landmark birthday haha, but still), I've been thinking a lot about what REALLY drives me in life. And when it comes down to it, it's the most basic things that call out to me. I feel that my personal goals include removing the "middle man" from my life as much as possible, this "middle man" being money, and the basics being water, food, and shelter. Very idealistic, but not impossible. And my ideas for solutions to this conundrum have been all over the map, from somehow living in the woods (completely impossible for many reasons) to living with an "intentional community" a.k.a. ecovillage or commune (very feasible). But my latest focus has been nomadic life, specifically in the realm of the ocean. Now what business does a single female child of a Californian upper middle class family have with all this? My sailing skill consists of a year and a half of 15 foot dinghy classes in college. I have nearly zero mechanical, carpentry, plumbing, construction, hunting, fishing, navigational, etc abilities. But what is stopping me from learning and pursuing these things? Ironically, I feel the pressure of lack of funds being one of my main setbacks. And fear, fear of the unknown, fear of failure. Fear is bullshit though, fear is to be conquered. You could die tomorrow, so you might as well live for today.

That's what's been on my mind lately. I really really want to hear YOUR goals, what you plan to do to reach them, what you feel is holding you back.

After a fairly mild summer here in central California, we're finally hitting the dog days with some good 'ol 105+ degree weather. The birds at the zoo aren't enjoying it too much (especially the poor Eurasian Eagle Owls), and we'll probably get to cancel a few shows.

The boy and I have been going out to a spot on the San Joaquin River called Sky Harbor, and we recently found the most excellent jumping off of rock. It's a solid 10-12 foot drop, I'll have to remember to take my camera next time. Also, I really fucking hate motorboats. Get your noisy, polluting, disrespectful asses out of an already dammed and fucked up river. Wakeboarding and tubing are pretty exhilarating, but as a swimmer, scuba diver, and sailboater I gotta say, FUCK your motorboat. /rant

Also, I turn 24 on Tuesday, August 14. No real plans except for maybe a nice little dinner and some of the best hard cider ever: http://angryorchard.com/.

P.S.: if you happened to read all the way down to here, I'm interested in doing some sketch trades! Hit me up with a comment or note or something.

Finally feeling a little arty, need some ideas. Hit me with some refs, I'll do maybe 4 or 5 of these. Still no scanner, but I can take decent enough pix when I'm done. Gogogogo

I guess I'm always kinda lying when I say I'm going to be more active here hahaha. All types of real life stuff keeps occupying me. I'm growing a really awesome garden full of tomatoes, swiss chard, peppers, pumpkins, sunflowers, cucumbers, eggplants, and other goodies (some of which are psychoactive! whee!).

We also found a momma cat and two tiny kittens (I'll post pix) about 2 weeks ago. She looked like a very inexperienced mom, and she ended up abandoning one of the kittens in our backyard. There was no way we could let the poor thing just die, so we took her in and well.... now I have a cat hahah.

Up until yesterday our little household zoo consisted of a dog, 2 cats, a lovebird, and a rat. But last night we found poor Remi the rat dead in his cage. He was a retired rat from the bird show at the zoo (where both my boyfriend and I work), and we had taken him in to pamper him in his old age. About a week ago I could tell he was starting to fade, generally eating less and looking more ragged. Ah well, you lived a long rat life Remi. Rest in peace.

The last bit of news I have is that I'm having a little gallery showing in July. If any of you furries out there live in the lovely little shithole of Fresno, CA, my show is going to be at the Brass Unicorn in the Tower District for July ArtHop (first Thursday).

Have fun and stay safe folks

required listening:
Sleep - Dopesmoker
lots of Bongzilla, Weedeater, Electric Wizard, some Funkadelic, Autechre, Melvins, and Ween of course.


Stay smoke, stay stone

I guess I'm kinda coming out of my hibernation phase, hopefully I'll start being more active around here again. Just a quick update: I'm keeping somewhat busy, cooking a whole hell of a lot, tending a small garden, not making nearly enough art, but I'm working on changing that. I need sun and heat to get me going. I'm also working at the zoo now. The bird show to be exact. Overall it's pretty fucking awesome, despite the massive quantities of poop, psychotic parrots, grumpy raptors, and all the cleaning that goes with caring for 40+ birds. I'll upload some pictures sometime soon.

Just drifting along, in need of adventures, not particularly productive.

"Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off -- then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can." - Herman Melville

oh holy shit, time flies. Moving tomorrow, in with the boy. I probably won't have internet for about a week or so. The Great Central California Misadventure. A little nervous, but mostly I'm just fucking excited :D More details to come...

As an initial disclaimer, if for some reason you really want to read in detail the stuff happening in my life, you can check out my livejournal: http://saezerim.livejournal.com/ It's 99% friend locked, so note me here and I'll add you, but I promise you it's not really that interesting. Just throwing it out there for the curious folks.

In other news:

1. I'm going to be moving after October 18th and I'm excited as fuck to finally get out of my parents' place. I'll be setting up a little mini studio, so you all should expect some new paintings sometime in November. Not that I'm all that super active here, but I'll be rather busy soon with this whole relocation thing.

2. Commissions! I would really love to take a few commissions, though I don't really know how many people out there are interested. I think I can only really handle a few at a time anyways. I really don't know how to price my art either. But I'm thinking:

$25 for a badge like this
$10 for a single character pencil sketch like this or this with +$5 for each additional character

Thoughts? Interested? Lemme know! :3

3. Check out this music:
http://rainbowsorcerer.bandcamp.com/
http://boxus.bandcamp.com/
http://petrychor.bandcamp.com/

I'm still recovering from seeing Impaled and Eyehategod Friday night, and I really have no idea why I'm still awake. But hey! It's officially my birthday! 23 years around the sun. My birthday wish is for you to pack a fatty bowl and get baked. If you want extra credit eat some vegan cake. Or even better, eat some vegan weed cake. <333

Went to see YOB, Dark Castle, Dispirit, and Worm Ouroboros last night at 924 Gilman in Berkeley. Fucking crushing show, YOB was amazing as usual. Dispirit was nuts, I've never seen a show quite like that before. In complete black except for one red light and a fog machine turned on full blast. I could only just barely see half the band and I was super stoned and felt like I couldn't breathe because of all the fog. They played two songs in their 40 minute set. KVLT. Someone uploaded a vid too, check it out:




I dunno if there are any other bay area metalhead folke on this site, but if you want to potentially meet me, I'll be at the Oakland Metro on August 12 for Eyehategod and Impaled. I might be going to The Power of the Riff Day 1 at Elbo Room in SF, but that's on August 15, which is a Monday, and I'll probably have work the next day. And I am for sure going to Boris, Tera Melos, and Master Musicians of Bukkake in SF October 8. Hit me uppppp!


Baltimore went swimmingly; I ended up with three firsts, one second, one third, and one fourth. Our team won best overall for the 11th year in a row. Baller. I love kung fu, but I need a little break to work on art and music. So expect some gallery updates soon (hopefully).

The reason I've been so behind on art lately is because I've been using nearly all of my spare time training for the USKSF tournament in Baltimore. I'm flying out tomorrow and I'll be there till Monday. This tournament is probably the best in the United States and I'm sooo excited to be making a return trip, since I haven't competed since 2006. Strangely not nervous at all, just really really excited. I'll be competing in seven events, all on Sunday. Hopefully I'll get someone to take a few pix, but no guarantees, since everyone will be super busy and running around.

Anyways, wish me skill (ain't no luck involved here), cause I plan on bringing back a few yellow shiny round things. :D

Just a little update...

urgh, haven't had even a bit of time to really draw recently. I'm so behind on ArtSlam stuff, I don't know if I'll be able to catch up. Just tons of work as well as tons and tons of Kung Fu constantly. Hopefully I'll get a chance to catch up a little this weekend. Gotta get my ass in gear on trades!

I've seen so much awesome marker art and I'd like to have a medium that allows quick coloring but doesn't require water. So I'm looking to get a set of markers! Hit me up with suggestions of brands, styles, colors, sets, what paper to use, etc... because I really don't know much.

Thanks!

http://www.snakebombcomix.com/
http://www.snakebombcomix.com/
http://www.snakebombcomix.com/

My buddy Jack just completed the first issue of Snakebomb Comix! The art is fabulous and wacky (though not furry, sorry furfags ;P), just look at the preview pix. And it's only $7. I'm also proud to say I drew that badass Snakebomb logo. If anything, check out the contributors' sites, they all make sweet art.

What? Yeah, I know man, art outside of FurAffinity. Fucking nuts bro.

I decided to undergo the task of organizing my music, which is going to take quite a long time. I have a good 100GB or so of music and I have a ton of stuff I don't really listen to much anymore, mostly from snagging stuff off of other people's harddrives.

So before I get rid of too much, does anyone want music? I'm not too in to genre listing, since much of the music I listen to doesn't fit into one specific genre, but to make it easier for people to know what I have, here's a list from most organized to complete chaos:

METAL (a good deal of technical death, black, doom, sludge, and stuff like that. I don't really do power metal or uhhh that stuff that people think is metal but really isn't :P)

All Type of Fuckin' Shit (This is the actual name of the folder, and it is what it sounds like. Everything from blues to crust punk to indie to jazz to traditional Indian ragas to hip hop, and more!)

Electronic (this folder is in dire need of help. I don't really do trance/house, but I have an absurd amount of hardstyle, hardcore, speedcore, IDM. Mostly the harder sides of electronic music)

Also, I love hearing new music! As you can see, I have a pretty massive range of musical tastes, so suggest away! Just promise you won't be hurt if I don't like your music, and I'll promise the same for you. :D

I wanted that old journal off my front page. Also, I don't have too much info about myself here, so I figured I'd do this for shits. No giggles allowed.

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE
- Name: Jill
- Eye Color: Hazel
- Hair Style/Color: Dark brown, currently growing it out again, a tad longer than shoulder length
- Height: 5'7"
- Clothing style: Everything from girly to boyly. Keep you on your toes. Almost never wear makeup though
- Best physical feature: I like my eyebrows. I have a pretty decent back too.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- Your fears: I don't really have any strong fears. I worry about the future (like most people) and I'm bad at standing up to my parents
- Your guilty pleasure: being lazy
- Your biggest pet peeve: people that talk to you without letting you get a single word in, people that make horrific messes and don't clean up after themselves (see: college and toilet full of vomit)
- Your ambitions for the future: Travel around the Pacific Islands, live in a place where the money I need is minimal and the food I gather or grow myself. Quietly remove myself from the general goings-on of Western society and its absurd notions. A.K.A. become a hobo on a beach. My parents hate me. I'm also aware this is somewhat of an idealistic notion, but I'm determined to at least try to make it work.

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- Your first thoughts waking up: if I have work: "FUUUUUUCK" if not: "buuuh, that was a weird ass dream"
- What you think about most: What the fuck I'm doing with my life.
- What you think about before bed: Varies. I'm usually listening to music or just spacing out.
- You think your best quality is: Hrmm... I dunno. My laidbackness?

LAYER FOUR: WHAT'S BETTER?
- Single or group dates: I prefer single, but I'm not opposed to group
- To be loved or respected: Respect should be a part of love
- Beauty or brains: Brains for sure
- Dogs or cats: BIRDS. I love both, though it can really depend on the individual animal

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
- Lie: On occasion.
- Believe in yourself: Usually
- Believe in love: There are lots of different forms of love. But the short answer would be yes.
- Want someone: So ronery. Long distance relationships are hard sometimes

LAYER SIX: EVER?
- Been on stage: Yep
- Done drugs: I'm high on a drug called LIFE. And marijuana. And a lot of other stuff.
- Changed who you were to fit in: pffft

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
- Favorite color: I'm not racist, I like all colors.
- Favorite animal: I'm not speciesist, I like all animals. But I really like cheetahs, horses, jellyfish, and most any bird.
- Favorite movie: El Topo, Inland Empire, Conan the Barbarian, Dead Man
- Favorite game: Run around in the woods

LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- Day your next birthday you will be: Sunday
- How old will you be: 23
- Age you lost your virginity: 16
- Does age matter: Depends on the situation. Years alive on this earth definitely changes one's attitude and perception of things

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL
- Best personality: In between clingy and aloof, though willing to make a strong bond. Goofy, thoughtful, artistic.
- Best eye color: I've never had a strong preference toward any
- Best hair color: Brown is good
- Best thing to do with a partner: Get high, climb on the roof, run through the woods at night, cry, laugh, cuddle, listen to music, get drunk and hit each other with sticks :D

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
- I love: being alive
- I feel: neutral
- I hide: from confronting my parents about future plans
- I miss: having a studio space
- I wish: for a lot of things, but wishing doesn't get you SHIT


It's kinda nice out, I think I'll play with the bird and then go for a smoke walk.

This community pretty much always gives me good responses, so once again I'm turning to your guys for opinions. I'll try not to make this too tl'dr-y...

I have a friend that is going through some really rough times. I grew up with him, but lost contact in middle school and only really saw him when our families met up. We had one of our little get-togethers last Christmas and I learned that he had been kicked out of college for "strange behavior." I've been hanging out with him more frequently, since he moved back home after the incident. It's becoming more and more glaringly obvious he has pretty bad bipolar disorder. He's been hospitalized 3 times now and he still hasn't accepted that he has any problem. He refuses to take medications and he literally spends all his time on Facebook talking to himself. Here is an excerpt:

"We are space monkeys dude. We need to be slapped every once in a while, but our parents lost their touch when we were about 13.
They say the future is with us. I agree.
It's not in bar-tending, care giving, knowledge, or even lust. It's in between your SPLENIC chakra and your crown chakra.
I turn the bad girls, badder, and the baddest girls good. Wtf is wrong with me.
If you pretend with me I will think you are cool. But otherwise just be a shoulder to cry on. And a person to go on epic adventures with. Actually I like being alone when I travel. I don't really need anyone that bad, but I still like listening to your lustful rap every once in a while, and your poop jokes.
I really have had every addiction. I have been in a mental hospital 3 times now. Nobody can figure me out. The last time the staff was laughing with me while I made fun of the head psychologist."

And that goes on and on, all day long. My question is, how do you help someone like this? I'm surprised he wasn't in the hospital for longer (he was in just a week ago). His mom is stressed beyond belief and his dad is slowly dying of cancer. I feel like I'm watching this friend of mine sink into utter insanity and there's nothing I can really do about it except talk to him and try to offer some advice that is always ignored. He can't be argued or reasoned with. He thinks he has magical powers that allow him to control people. GAH. It's rather heartbreaking to see.

Any advice, words of wisdom, experiences or just thoughts would be greatly appreciated. This did end up being kind of long so...

TL;DR: My friend won't admit he has to deal with severe bipolar disorder, he's going off the deep end, HALP