And to keep it short, I survived.

For those who are interested in the details, basically I had to make an emergency call a few days after new year because I couldn't breathe well and they had to break into my house to do cpr on me first thing because I was completely out of it. I was sedated and brought over to the hospital because I had a goiter on my neck that was keeping the blood from flowing and later on I was confirmed positive on COVID as well which complicated the surgery a bit. So I was three weeks in the ICU room, and still under sedation with many, many allucinations until they could perform the surgery and things went relatively well. Then I spent another long time in the hospital room by my own when I was fully conscious just to recover before they sent me back home.

I need to take it really easy now because my mobility isn't the same. I never felt so dependable before and I have nightmares every night after finding out everything that happened and how many people were so concerned about my well being. So, still recovering on my end, and I hope I can go back to my life soon enough.

Normally I don't use Journals often to talk about myself but in this case I felt like a lot of people needed to know, and I can't personally reach out to each one of you right now.

So for those who were concerned or were even wondering about me, thank you.

Now I just need to shake off this fear and get some real rest. Never felt so scared in my life but I guess it's a process I will have to get through.

On April 7th I have a 10h layover in NJ to go back to Spain and I will be on my own. It is quite a long flight home (30h in total) so I would love to hang out with someone during the layover of possible. That would make my travel more bearable. Thank you!

 mitsuki-onega and  mrkawauso need your help! They are accepting donations to take their ferret pet urgently to the vet. Help them out with what you want and you will get a picture from either one of them.

Please, consider it if you are looking to get a picture done! Or even if you just want to help them out

Thank you all.

Update

They are headed to the vet. So far they managed to raise $80 and will be back later with more news. Hopefully that will cover it, if not, they will still be open later.

I am one of them.

Why? Perhaps people consider it a stupid reason but the truth is that I just can't do it anymore, not like this.

My heart goes to those that can really overcome their fears and their complexes but it's been a long fight for me. I dedicated years to try looking off the distance and see a bright road ahead but perhaps the only roads that were worth taking were when I wasn't alone. I am sure most of you are tired of hearing depressing rants and it's not even been long since I wrote a journal about it.

To speak more clearly, without beating about the bush, I always am quite disappointed about the way I have been treated in my family and how it turned out to be so unhealthy for me. I really, really want to smile, be the fun guy that is locked up in a cage deep inside me again. Perhaps due to the standards of beauty I have developed this huge complex.

I am not talking about weight, I am talking about an issue that has always been tormenting me; my teeth.

I know, it's something that can be fixed but you need a lot of money for it and it really just gets worse and worse for me. I lost today another tooth, as simple as it just falling out for whatever reason, and I am so frustrated and depressed about it I am starting to seclude myself again. This is the first thing I want to fix but it keeps digging my grave every day and I fear that someday I will not be able to get out.

Please, don't tell me it's fine and that everyone has missing teeth or what not. This is my biggest complex and just words are not going to get me over that.

I started taking care of my teeth really late, when I was conscious of it because I had to go to the dentist for really big issues and pay for it myself. My parents never took me to a dentist when I was young. Not even once. And they never told me to brush my teeth either. So imagine now the damage done.

In my desperation, I have gone to several places that promised helping you with your teeth for cheap. Turned out that these places just were a scam or they had no experience with most issues and made things worse. For example; instead of killing a nerve, all they did was dig in the tooth so deep that ended up causing it to destroy itself. That was just one of them. So now, my mouth seems like a minefield with plenty of holes.

It gets worse when in a lot of the job interviews you are required to have a good presence and of course my teeth don't help. Besides, it ruined my confidence in so many levels that now I just don't even try. I am conscious this is starting to become a really serious matter but I have no idea what to even do.

I'm so upset that I feel like quitting.

I'm just announcing again that I will be goin' to my first furry convention in a few weeks. Though rather than just bein' an attendee, I will be working there; preparing a lot of activities and playing music at the disco! Also, if things go well, I will also be tryin' to sell out some copies of certain comic I have featured along with new content (new comic and stories) so keep an eye out for it!

Now, the mandatory questions if anyone needs t' know about it.

Where are you staying? At the hotel Las Provincias. Gonna be sharing a room with other staff, though!

Means of transportation? Car. Yes, car. Maybe bus or train t' come back.

Sharing a room with? People I don't know! They are staff so they are fine, I guess.

What is your gender? Male.

Relationship status Single, not interested.

How old are you? 31

How tall are you? 178 approximately

Which languages do you speak? Spanish, valencian and english.

Where will you be most of the time during the day? Hmm.. depends at the time. I organize quite a few activities so you will find me there. Other than that, probably wandering around or lazing.

Who will you be with? With whoever wants t' hang out with me.

What suits will you have? None. Pure flesh and bones.

Can I dance with you? Dance with the DJ? Well, maybe. Mike has got first dibs on it, though!

Can I touch you? What for? I mean, if I am havin' a heart attack and you have to help me out, yes. If it's just random touchin', please no.

Can I talk to you? Yes. Unless you come to me saying things like 'murr' or other furry terms, I will gladly talk t' you.

Can I hug you? Are you a rat? Do I know you? If the answer is yes, then maybe. If the answer is no, then no. Get t' know me first, yeah?

Can I take photos of you/with you? I am not very photogenic... I would prefer not to, unless you really want to.

Can I buy you lots of drinks? Yes, but you will never get me drunk!

Do you drink alcohol/smoke? I do drink alcohol. I don't smoke, though.

Can I give you lots of money? Oh yes, please. I mean, who even does that?

Can I hug or snuggle with you? This question is a bit redundant. I asnwered earlier t' this.

Can we hang out? Like I said, yes. Feel free to.

Are you nice? I try t' be.

Other cons you migh go to? Only events I work at, none other are furry cons.

Attending any events? Always as staff!

How can I find you at the con? Find me during my activities or during the disco. Or ask me to meet up at some time.

Can we go out for dinner? I have wooork. But if there is time, fine.

Are you buying art? Probably not. Depends on how well I can sell out my comic books.

What do I have to watch out for, when meeting with you? Don't be boring. That's all.

What is the best way to contact with you? Telegram.

May I kidnap you to my room? I do the kidnappin' around here.

You look pretty tired, are you ok? Yep, I will go t' sleep soon.

Will you tell me your room-number so I can surprise visit you? I don't even know the number m'self! And no, I don't want that kind of surprise.

I have a personal question for the convention. May I ask you that? Yes, go ahead and ask.

This is going to be a personal list to keep track of commission and other work. Of course anyone is free to leave a comment, especially if I forgot about your commission. Sorry, sometimes I have a lot of things in my mind.

Commissions will always have priority over trades and other work. Trades will have priority over personal work like gifts and such.


WIP

Carsen commission. - Full story.
Blob commission - Full story


Commissions

Mirke commission - Full story
Icono commission - Full story
Amprat commission - Full story

Trades/others:

Mix story
Phyrus trade
Hawk trade
Tiptoe delayed gift
Juneaue trade
Picture 1 story
Picture 2 story
Picture 3 story



I have a patreon now if any of you kind soulds would like to support me. Thanks a lot! https://www.patreon.com/sagisou

So... after some thought I opened a patreon and see if I can get some support. I really want to be more consistent with my writing and this might be the push I need. There is more writing coming soon, I'm finishing some commissions, gifts and requests. Sorry in advance, I had a very busy week. So keep tuned! If you like reading porn, don't miss out the next updates.

I know most of my stories or commissions have my character in it but that's because friends are helping me out!
So they deserve some love. I got plans for other stuff too, no worries.


https://www.patreon.com/sagisou - there's the patreon thingy.

Not by me, obviously, but by some handsome ringtail. Here's all the info:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26331905/

Good luck!

So, probably I am going to attend my first con. I never really got too involved with people in the fandom living in the same country, however. Like, I have been hanging out with folks overseas and in other countries a lot more than with local furries. Heck, a lot of people here don't even know I am from Spain.

I was curious to see who else - that is watching me of course - will be attending. Maybe I know more people than what I thought.

https://www.furrnion.org/
April 20-22, 2018
Madrid, Spain

A few of you know I have been stressed as o' late. With my mother dealin' back and forth with her schizophrenia and being treated inside the hospital, incoming financial difficulties and now my grandmother passing away from a cancer I think I need some relief of some sort. So I am just gonna write a bit of a rant, there's no need to read it or anything but sometimes exposing your thoughts to a community or something like that can help as therapy.

I still need to start fresh again, maybe reborn like a phoenix, or find someone that can give me a hand and take me to a different path. I don't know. I am not feeling very active lately, and a couple friends are telling me that is unusual in me. I am oversleeping, staying in home for days... guess that's the start of a severe depression but I have been through that many times before, so I want to keep looking forward. It is affecting my creativity, my will to do things, and I do have a lot to do, everything is in my head and I just need to do it.

I have done a lot of things I regret but needed for my own survivability, and others because I put my feelings before my reasoning. Am I a bad man or a good man? I might never know, though I definitely do not forget anyone I have spend an enjoyable moment with, no matter how long it's been.

It's a rough start of the year, for me, but I just need to stay sane. I would appreciate if those that care for me at least can keep me company, while I recover from this downfall. It's all I ask.

In addition to the story commissions I added yesterday, now there is a new deal; a picture to go with your story. If anyone's interested, comment below or note me!

I am going to be more consistent on my writing and projects I left behind. Or at least I want to. Sometimes life gets in the way of those. I will be more motivated if I see people interested in reading or supporting me. So go ahead, check out the new stories and the commission info if you like!

Thanks everyone.

Here, I created a mycrush thing. Let's see how this works.

http://www.thiscrush.com/~sagisou

It's been at least a month without updating anything, so I come here to inform you all that I am still working on the visual novel!

First of all, I have the name down;
Cruise Line Crisis

And I'm nearly done with the prologue which will be a rough preview since the dialogue might need changes and some polishing. I don't want to give just a thirty minutes peview, I would like to finish the prologue first and then upload it. Sorry if I kept yah waiting.

I need to get a few questions out of the way first to some people's characters, so check your inbox soon.

Probably I could give more information but I am short in time here, so feel free to ask anything you are curious about!

After some deliberation which took me longer than I expected, I have decided on a list of the characters... I had to think this over, see which ones would fit best with what I had in mind, see the roles and if they had pictures I could use as placeholders. Now, this is it:

Side characters

Noel Korv
Dakinu
Charles
Tirin
Carl



Main characters

Archibald
Samuel
Chance
Leiton
Katai
Syn and Tip (They will go together as one)
Riku Tavash
Zeph



Sorry I had to leave others out, it was really a hard decision. Thanks for participating anyway!

Time to make a decision and see who gets in the visual novel thing. I will post individually on the replies but I will show them in the next post too.

This might take a while, a lot of people are quite fitting to be in this.

Hurry up, the limit time to join on this is tomorrow.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7274919/

Put up my little tribute even before I heard about it, now is staying.




/

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https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7274919/ Get your character in a visual novel for free.

Alright folks~

I have messed around with visual novel programs long enough, and although I had a lot planned for it, due to the lack of time I haven't managed much other than finding out how they work. But the good news is that I'm moving out next week and I will have a lot of free time once I settle in (basically because I probably won't have internet which has been a big distraction too) so I will get back on that thing! However, I want to start small, and I thought some folks won't mind seeing their characters in a visual novel so here is the deal!

/

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Looking for:

-Up to eight characters that will be the main focus of the story, this also means they will be up for sex.
-Some background characters (number undetermined).

/

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What you need to do.

-Post on this journal filling out this sheet:

Character name:
Age:
Species:
Height:
Applying for ... (Main character or background character or either.)
Position (Dom/sub & top/bottom)
Personality:
Reference:

-The picture should be from waist up at least, facing the camera (drawn by yourself or by someone else but with the approval of the artist should they not want their art in a visual novel, although they will get credit for it even if it was a commission) Different expressions optional.

-Main characters must have some picture. I won't be so strict with the secondary ones. Could always add them later.

-If you don't have a picture but you are going to draw it, wait until you are approved!

-The visual novel will be basically something I will do for fun, so I will only open a donation box when I get to it and will commission new pictures or the sex scenes with that.

-I will reply with an 'approved' to those that I'm picking to be in.

/

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Things I will value when voting:

-Diverse roles. Not everyone is gonna bottom, right?

-Species variety. It would be a bit redundant having all wolves or rodents (even if the latter would be my dreamboat.)

-Possibility to draw your own character, commission it or have already a reference I can use for the novel. Like, waist up, more or less facing the camera... that stuff.

-Traits! Important to build a nice story. If everyone is nice, there won't be much of a development.

/

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****And I forgot. This is a gay novel. Females can only apply as secondary characters!****

Tine limit: January 4. 00:00PM GMT+1 I will vote who gets in then!

Questions? Go ahead!

But I am not, despite all the drinks I had last night for my birthday.

So I'm back anyway!

Oh man, and I have been around for so long too. Next week I'm going to be 29. Hope you guys get an orgy ready for me.

Again shamelessly advertising but he needs some help, and it's a good deal. So if anyone wants a commission, here is the link.

https://www.furaffinity.net/full/18292843/

Here, some blatant advertisment. I know I have been doing this a lot lately but some people really need to get some help now and then, right? And since I got plenty of watchers, you guys should at least check him out!

 nyar

These guys are open to commissions right now, good friends, and need to raise some money for different motives!

Consider commissioning them if you are looking to get a picture done and you get free croc cock. Everyone wins.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17434523/

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6982783/

(Seriously, support them!)

I'm shamelessly advertising for a friend here, so you guys know he is open to commissions. Besides, it would really help him out with some bills! Everyone wins, right?

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17167100/