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Lost in Thoughts
Posted 12 years agoI've just been lost in so many thoughts lately. From having recently uncovering what I feel is another past life, I've been almost feeling a bit homesick lately. Homesick for what was I suppose. Weird I know but it's all what I keep thinking of. Especially listening to some Celtic styled music (and especially this song).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S76ipSQapPM
"Evening Falls" -Enya
When the evening falls
And the daylight is fading,
From within me calls
Could it be I am sleeping?
For a moment I stray,
Then it holds me completely
Close to home - I cannot say
Close to home feeling so far away
As I walk the room there before me a shadow
From another world, where no other can follow
Carry me to my own, to where I can cross over
Close to home - I cannot say
Close to home feeling so far away
Forever searching; never right,
I am lost in oceans of night.
Forever hoping I can find memories
Those memories I left behind
Even though I leave will I go on believing
That this time is real - am I lost in this feeling?
Like a child passing through,
Never knowing the reason
I am home - I know the way
I am home - feeling oh, so far away
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S76ipSQapPM
"Evening Falls" -Enya
When the evening falls
And the daylight is fading,
From within me calls
Could it be I am sleeping?
For a moment I stray,
Then it holds me completely
Close to home - I cannot say
Close to home feeling so far away
As I walk the room there before me a shadow
From another world, where no other can follow
Carry me to my own, to where I can cross over
Close to home - I cannot say
Close to home feeling so far away
Forever searching; never right,
I am lost in oceans of night.
Forever hoping I can find memories
Those memories I left behind
Even though I leave will I go on believing
That this time is real - am I lost in this feeling?
Like a child passing through,
Never knowing the reason
I am home - I know the way
I am home - feeling oh, so far away
Ten Day Meme Challenge - Day Ten
Posted 12 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Ten:
Hmmm.....I don't know. I've got a lot on my mind I suppose. One confession.....
I suppose I've had a lot of rough things in the past with this life (though I know others that have had it pretty rough as well and/or worse than I have). And I know there's been days I question why I was given this life and all. Some days it's hard to go on with all the stuff I've been dealt but then I look at my family (the ones that care) and my friends and how far I've come along in this life. They have helped me along this path in life and I know I've helped change other people's life as well (whether I realized it or not or if they realized it or not). And I smile to myself because they mean the world to me (even if they have moved on with their lives and no longer include me in theirs). And I also remember the saying that I recently found:
"You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it."
And I realize I've learned a lot in this life and everything. And I am strong enough to continue on knowing I have my friends and family there with me. *huggles to all her friends and family that mean the world to her*
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Ten:
Hmmm.....I don't know. I've got a lot on my mind I suppose. One confession.....
I suppose I've had a lot of rough things in the past with this life (though I know others that have had it pretty rough as well and/or worse than I have). And I know there's been days I question why I was given this life and all. Some days it's hard to go on with all the stuff I've been dealt but then I look at my family (the ones that care) and my friends and how far I've come along in this life. They have helped me along this path in life and I know I've helped change other people's life as well (whether I realized it or not or if they realized it or not). And I smile to myself because they mean the world to me (even if they have moved on with their lives and no longer include me in theirs). And I also remember the saying that I recently found:
"You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it."
And I realize I've learned a lot in this life and everything. And I am strong enough to continue on knowing I have my friends and family there with me. *huggles to all her friends and family that mean the world to her*
Ten Day Meme Challenge - Day Nine
Posted 12 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Nine:
^_____^ (happy)
-______- (and blah-ish)
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Nine:
^_____^ (happy)
-______- (and blah-ish)
Ten Day Meme Challenge - Day Eight
Posted 12 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Eight:
1.) Long hair (though I like short hair too--I just like hair (on the head)).
2.) Intelligence (I'm a sapioromantic--which means I'm attracted to intelligence).
3.) Well I do like tattoos and piercings...not sure to call it a turn on though...but I do like them. XD
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Eight:
1.) Long hair (though I like short hair too--I just like hair (on the head)).
2.) Intelligence (I'm a sapioromantic--which means I'm attracted to intelligence).
3.) Well I do like tattoos and piercings...not sure to call it a turn on though...but I do like them. XD
First Past Life Maybe?
Posted 12 years agoSo Monday while the pack and my brother and his boyfriend were over, I think I saw a past life I've had. And I think it was possibly my very first life since it felt very ancient. Even more ancient than my ancient Greek one I've seen bits and pieces of. I kind of fell asleep in my dad's chair while I had my huge stuffed white tiger on me while we were watching a movie. Aiden noticed me shivering and shaking I guess and came over to check on me and got some blankets to put over me. It was then she noticed I guess I was muttering in some language that no one seemed to understand.
But this is a little of what I saw I guess.:
I was walking through a forest with my soulmate and talking with him in a language that wasn't in any that humans know. We look kind of similar to what we do now in the face (interestingly), though our hair was pure white as snow (we also had fair skin) and both of our eyes were such a light baby blue. Both of our hair was really long. His was pulled back and tied much in a similar fashion that reminded me how they draw in manga with the males from like the Heian era in Japan I think it was? The long hair tied near the end with a ribbon. Mine was pulled back in a braid with some of it and the rest left loose. Both of our ears had a slight point to them like an elf's but not like super pointed. Just subtly so. We wore kind of flowing robe-like outfits that were white in color.
Then feeling a bit playful, I started running through the trees, daring him to catch me. As I started running, I shifted into a white tiger form, like with magic. He did the same as he chased me through the forest, crossing little streams here and there; me pausing long enough to turn and splash him with water from the streams before taking off again. It was like that through a good portion of the memory/vision.
Later on, as night set in, we just sat in each others' arms, looking up at the night sky filled with stars and the moon everywhere (there's no electricity). It was just peaceful. But I felt sad too because it felt like it wasn't going to last. He assured me that no matter what happened in the future, he would always find me.
I had a distinct feeling that I could also 'hear' the wind speaking to me in that life. Like a gift to communicate with the wind. I actually have that ability somewhat now with being able to 'hear' the wind speaking, telling what it's going to be like without having to watch the weather channel/news report for the weather. Not sure what my soulmate had of a gift but I have a feeling he had a gift himself. And even though I didn't see anyone else in my vision/memory, I knew there were others like us in that realm, though they weren't the same like us either. They had other various forms and looked different as well while still being similar. But this place seemed so ethereal, so peaceful....it definitely wasn't part of the human realm that's for sure.
But last night, I suddenly had my name from then come to me. When I spoke it out loud, my whole body seemed to be consumed by a fiery feeling all over (despite having goosebumps everywhere). I got a bit dizzy and hyperventilated I think a little because of the overwhelming feeling I was getting. But then just as sudden as that feeling had come, it dissipated and a feeling of peace washed over me and gave me quite a bit of energy. It was interesting to say the least.
The name I got is Raenalinalya (ray-nah-lee-nah-lee-ah).
I'm not sure on if we have last names or not but that's what I had gotten. And not sure on my soulmate's name either yet. Whether I'll get it or not and more on this life, I don't know. I get bits and pieces of things like this here and there. I suppose when I'm ready for it, it'll come to me.
But this is a little of what I saw I guess.:
I was walking through a forest with my soulmate and talking with him in a language that wasn't in any that humans know. We look kind of similar to what we do now in the face (interestingly), though our hair was pure white as snow (we also had fair skin) and both of our eyes were such a light baby blue. Both of our hair was really long. His was pulled back and tied much in a similar fashion that reminded me how they draw in manga with the males from like the Heian era in Japan I think it was? The long hair tied near the end with a ribbon. Mine was pulled back in a braid with some of it and the rest left loose. Both of our ears had a slight point to them like an elf's but not like super pointed. Just subtly so. We wore kind of flowing robe-like outfits that were white in color.
Then feeling a bit playful, I started running through the trees, daring him to catch me. As I started running, I shifted into a white tiger form, like with magic. He did the same as he chased me through the forest, crossing little streams here and there; me pausing long enough to turn and splash him with water from the streams before taking off again. It was like that through a good portion of the memory/vision.
Later on, as night set in, we just sat in each others' arms, looking up at the night sky filled with stars and the moon everywhere (there's no electricity). It was just peaceful. But I felt sad too because it felt like it wasn't going to last. He assured me that no matter what happened in the future, he would always find me.
I had a distinct feeling that I could also 'hear' the wind speaking to me in that life. Like a gift to communicate with the wind. I actually have that ability somewhat now with being able to 'hear' the wind speaking, telling what it's going to be like without having to watch the weather channel/news report for the weather. Not sure what my soulmate had of a gift but I have a feeling he had a gift himself. And even though I didn't see anyone else in my vision/memory, I knew there were others like us in that realm, though they weren't the same like us either. They had other various forms and looked different as well while still being similar. But this place seemed so ethereal, so peaceful....it definitely wasn't part of the human realm that's for sure.
But last night, I suddenly had my name from then come to me. When I spoke it out loud, my whole body seemed to be consumed by a fiery feeling all over (despite having goosebumps everywhere). I got a bit dizzy and hyperventilated I think a little because of the overwhelming feeling I was getting. But then just as sudden as that feeling had come, it dissipated and a feeling of peace washed over me and gave me quite a bit of energy. It was interesting to say the least.
The name I got is Raenalinalya (ray-nah-lee-nah-lee-ah).
I'm not sure on if we have last names or not but that's what I had gotten. And not sure on my soulmate's name either yet. Whether I'll get it or not and more on this life, I don't know. I get bits and pieces of things like this here and there. I suppose when I'm ready for it, it'll come to me.
Ten Day Meme Challenge - Day Seven
Posted 12 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Seven:
1.) Being very close-minded.
2.) Being very arrogant/rude.
3.) Being a hypocrite.
4.) Trying to shove one's viewpoints onto myself and not accepting me for me.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Seven:
1.) Being very close-minded.
2.) Being very arrogant/rude.
3.) Being a hypocrite.
4.) Trying to shove one's viewpoints onto myself and not accepting me for me.
Ten Day Meme Challenge - Day Six
Posted 12 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Six:
1.) Dorthy
2.) Glenn
3.) Brian
4.) Jess-chan
5.) Cole and Kieran (they're kind of a package deal lol)
(My mother too and my cat!!)
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Six:
1.) Dorthy
2.) Glenn
3.) Brian
4.) Jess-chan
5.) Cole and Kieran (they're kind of a package deal lol)
(My mother too and my cat!!)
Ten Day Meme Challenge - Day Five
Posted 12 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Five:
Honestly I can't really think of anything because some things I wish I could go back
and change maybe but in all honesty, they have helped me to grow as a person,
learn a life lesson, and put me on the path that I am on now. So really there hasn't been
anything that I wish I hadn't done, just more of wish I could have seen coming.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Five:
Honestly I can't really think of anything because some things I wish I could go back
and change maybe but in all honesty, they have helped me to grow as a person,
learn a life lesson, and put me on the path that I am on now. So really there hasn't been
anything that I wish I hadn't done, just more of wish I could have seen coming.
Ten Day Meme Challenge - Day Four
Posted 12 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Four:
1.) Ideas for my stories.
2.) Old memories of the past (this life and past lives sometimes).
3.) More ideas for my stories....
4.) What I could try to draw next with different ideas.
5.) More ideas for my stories....
6.) Wondering what the future might hold.
7.) And....more ideas for my stories (pretty much that's about 90% of what I think about when I'm not doing anything else).
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Four:
1.) Ideas for my stories.
2.) Old memories of the past (this life and past lives sometimes).
3.) More ideas for my stories....
4.) What I could try to draw next with different ideas.
5.) More ideas for my stories....
6.) Wondering what the future might hold.
7.) And....more ideas for my stories (pretty much that's about 90% of what I think about when I'm not doing anything else).
Totem Animal Quiz
Posted 12 years agoWhat Totem Animal Are You? - Test results
For 47 % you are: You are...A DEER! You're artistic, creative, very compassionate, gentle, and kind. You like to delve into very complicated artistic activities such as drawing, sketching, or playing music. You're always there when a friend needs you.
18.5419 % of 204963 Quiz participants had this profile!
You could also get this result:
For 32 % you are: You are...A WOLF! Your utmost priority is leadership and kindness. You make friends easily and steadily, learn quickly, and care about others, hurting as much as they do when they're having a hard time.
Or even this one:
For 16 % you are: You are...AN EAGLE! You're serious, concentrated, calculating, and judging. You are a natural born leader, and can be compassionate towards close friends. You may come off rather bossy to some.
Or even this one:
For 5 % you are: You are...A BEAR! You're laid back, rather easygoing, and compassionate. You are rather unorganized, like to eat, and may be overweight. You cry over trivial matters, often, but are also there when a friend needs a laugh.
http://www.allthetests.com/quiz10/q.....Animal-Are-You
For 47 % you are: You are...A DEER! You're artistic, creative, very compassionate, gentle, and kind. You like to delve into very complicated artistic activities such as drawing, sketching, or playing music. You're always there when a friend needs you.
18.5419 % of 204963 Quiz participants had this profile!
You could also get this result:
For 32 % you are: You are...A WOLF! Your utmost priority is leadership and kindness. You make friends easily and steadily, learn quickly, and care about others, hurting as much as they do when they're having a hard time.
Or even this one:
For 16 % you are: You are...AN EAGLE! You're serious, concentrated, calculating, and judging. You are a natural born leader, and can be compassionate towards close friends. You may come off rather bossy to some.
Or even this one:
For 5 % you are: You are...A BEAR! You're laid back, rather easygoing, and compassionate. You are rather unorganized, like to eat, and may be overweight. You cry over trivial matters, often, but are also there when a friend needs a laugh.
http://www.allthetests.com/quiz10/q.....Animal-Are-You
Ten Day Meme Challenge - Day Three
Posted 12 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Three:
1.) Have an intelligent conversation with me. I'm sapioromantic so I'm very attracted to intelligent conversations.
2.) Treating me with respect is something I like as well. Treat me with respect and I will return the favor.
3.) Chivarly isn't dead or just found in movies/books. I like those that use it.
4.) Similar interests would be nice so we can talk about those, though having your own is also very nice to have to learn new things from the other.
5.) I love friendships and getting to know someone for who they are.
6.) Being honest with me is also a plus. I will be honest in return (as I prefer being honest than lying since lying really doesn't get anywhere other than hurt feelings, especially if the person lied to finds out later you lied).
7.) I usually prefer my bit of space so I'm limited on hugs and stuff. But my close friends and family I don't mind at all since I've gotten to know them.
8.) I prefer my name being used (or a nickname that I like). Not fond of pet names (like babe, baby, honey, darling, etc). Only the closest of people I know are allowed such because they have earned that certain place in my heart.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Three:
1.) Have an intelligent conversation with me. I'm sapioromantic so I'm very attracted to intelligent conversations.
2.) Treating me with respect is something I like as well. Treat me with respect and I will return the favor.
3.) Chivarly isn't dead or just found in movies/books. I like those that use it.
4.) Similar interests would be nice so we can talk about those, though having your own is also very nice to have to learn new things from the other.
5.) I love friendships and getting to know someone for who they are.
6.) Being honest with me is also a plus. I will be honest in return (as I prefer being honest than lying since lying really doesn't get anywhere other than hurt feelings, especially if the person lied to finds out later you lied).
7.) I usually prefer my bit of space so I'm limited on hugs and stuff. But my close friends and family I don't mind at all since I've gotten to know them.
8.) I prefer my name being used (or a nickname that I like). Not fond of pet names (like babe, baby, honey, darling, etc). Only the closest of people I know are allowed such because they have earned that certain place in my heart.
Ten Day Meme Challenge - Day Two
Posted 12 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Two:
1.) I have lupus.
2.) I am an Aromantic Asexual (and yet I can still get some perverted jokes because of friends that can be pervy....and Cole and Kieran (mostly Cole) too. Lol.)
3.) I'm very shy and quiet when you get to know me but over time I'll open up and then I'm the complete opposite. Lol.
4.) I do have depressed moments and I do get very anxious at times, even if it doesn't appear that I can get depressed because I'm usually always smiling and laughing.
5.) I'm not fond of my body (health issues and weight mostly). But I'm working on my weight slowly. The health issues, I'm learning to deal with since there's nothing I can do about them anyways but keep moving on.
6.) I can be insecure at times, even if it might not look it.
7.) I have died once before and was brought back (in 2011). I thank Nyx every day for her part in bringing me back, even if this life has its problems (with health especially).
8.) Cole and Kieran are my soulmates (though how to explain them sometimes is hard considering how we are in connection to the other).
9.) I'm a simple type of person that will give and give but ask for very little if nothing in return. I will help out a friend in need over getting myself something that's needed sometimes. I'm just that type of person.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day Two:
1.) I have lupus.
2.) I am an Aromantic Asexual (and yet I can still get some perverted jokes because of friends that can be pervy....and Cole and Kieran (mostly Cole) too. Lol.)
3.) I'm very shy and quiet when you get to know me but over time I'll open up and then I'm the complete opposite. Lol.
4.) I do have depressed moments and I do get very anxious at times, even if it doesn't appear that I can get depressed because I'm usually always smiling and laughing.
5.) I'm not fond of my body (health issues and weight mostly). But I'm working on my weight slowly. The health issues, I'm learning to deal with since there's nothing I can do about them anyways but keep moving on.
6.) I can be insecure at times, even if it might not look it.
7.) I have died once before and was brought back (in 2011). I thank Nyx every day for her part in bringing me back, even if this life has its problems (with health especially).
8.) Cole and Kieran are my soulmates (though how to explain them sometimes is hard considering how we are in connection to the other).
9.) I'm a simple type of person that will give and give but ask for very little if nothing in return. I will help out a friend in need over getting myself something that's needed sometimes. I'm just that type of person.
Ten Day Meme Challenge - Day One
Posted 12 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day One:
1.) You know we'll always be here for you.
2.) You know I'm really tired of your attitude towards me and belittling me all the time.
3.) I don't know what I'd do without you and your support.
4.) D'awww my little fuzzy. I love you!
5.) I wish things didn't fall apart as they did. I still forgive you.
6.) I know it'll never change, but I wonder why you gave me all these hardships sometimes.
7.) Okay so I don't know what I'd do without your support either. ^_^
8.) You know being a close-minded ass is going to get you nowhere in life.
9.) You know for having the same thing as I do and knowing medical stuff, why the hell do you seem to not 'understand' what I'm going through as well and tell me to 'push past pain and exhaustion'. Do you want me to keel over?
10.) Mreow!
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Day One:
1.) You know we'll always be here for you.
2.) You know I'm really tired of your attitude towards me and belittling me all the time.
3.) I don't know what I'd do without you and your support.
4.) D'awww my little fuzzy. I love you!
5.) I wish things didn't fall apart as they did. I still forgive you.
6.) I know it'll never change, but I wonder why you gave me all these hardships sometimes.
7.) Okay so I don't know what I'd do without your support either. ^_^
8.) You know being a close-minded ass is going to get you nowhere in life.
9.) You know for having the same thing as I do and knowing medical stuff, why the hell do you seem to not 'understand' what I'm going through as well and tell me to 'push past pain and exhaustion'. Do you want me to keel over?
10.) Mreow!
Kieran got his guide's name!
Posted 12 years agoSo while I was meditating with Kieran and Cole,
listening to the storm that was moving through earlier,
Kieran finally got the name of his guide/therian self.
We were holding a moonstone, a celestite stone, and our quartz crystal
that has two crystals growing together with a rainbow mark inside
the crystal when the sun hits it. Looks like Kieran is a black panther.
Her name is Azyra Nightshadow (yeah it seems that he and Cole get female
guides while mine is male--yin/yang balance I'm guessing?).
But now he's all giddy and hyper and happy he finally knows his name.
Elements Quiz
Posted 12 years agoFor 47 % you are: Your element is free-spirited air. You are an optimist, and you tend to look at the bright side of things. Because of this, you have many friends who are attracted to your outgoing personality. You also value self-expression, and would probably enjoy writing or art, maybe both. You hate to be tied down with obligations, so you try to keep your life fairly simplified. You love to have fun, and you brighten everyone’s day with your smile.
19.5870 % of 18885 Quiz participants had this profile!
You could also get this result:
For 13 % you are: The element you match up with is ice. You are solitary and quiet, and would probably rather be in your room reading a book than with a large group. Justice is important to you, and you won’t hesitate to stand up for others. Though quiet, you are strong and determined, and you never give up. Your unique personality is admired by those around you.
Or even this one:
For 13 % you are: You connect with the element water. You are knowledgeable and insightful, and many seek your good advice. You tend to move with a subtle grace that gives you an elegant air. Your emotions sometimes get the better of you, and you can easily go from sadness to anger to elation. A good way to channel these emotions is through music, which your element is connected to.
Or even this one:
For 13 % you are: Your matching element is fire. You are warm and passionate, and deeply care for those close to you. You are the kind of person who will work at a friendship to keep it going, especially over long distances. Your temper can be a problem, but you don’t usually stay angry for long. Yours is also the element most in tune to romance…
Or even this one:
For 13 % you are: Your element is earth. You are peace-loving and gentle, and thoughtful. Sometimes you prefer the company of animals to people, so if you don’t already have a pet, you would probably do well with one. You appreciate nature for what it is, and have a respect for life in all its forms. You dislike arguments, so you do your best to try and please others.
(Link to the quiz: http://www.allthetests.com/quiz15/q.....s-Your-Element )
19.5870 % of 18885 Quiz participants had this profile!
You could also get this result:
For 13 % you are: The element you match up with is ice. You are solitary and quiet, and would probably rather be in your room reading a book than with a large group. Justice is important to you, and you won’t hesitate to stand up for others. Though quiet, you are strong and determined, and you never give up. Your unique personality is admired by those around you.
Or even this one:
For 13 % you are: You connect with the element water. You are knowledgeable and insightful, and many seek your good advice. You tend to move with a subtle grace that gives you an elegant air. Your emotions sometimes get the better of you, and you can easily go from sadness to anger to elation. A good way to channel these emotions is through music, which your element is connected to.
Or even this one:
For 13 % you are: Your matching element is fire. You are warm and passionate, and deeply care for those close to you. You are the kind of person who will work at a friendship to keep it going, especially over long distances. Your temper can be a problem, but you don’t usually stay angry for long. Yours is also the element most in tune to romance…
Or even this one:
For 13 % you are: Your element is earth. You are peace-loving and gentle, and thoughtful. Sometimes you prefer the company of animals to people, so if you don’t already have a pet, you would probably do well with one. You appreciate nature for what it is, and have a respect for life in all its forms. You dislike arguments, so you do your best to try and please others.
(Link to the quiz: http://www.allthetests.com/quiz15/q.....s-Your-Element )
Drawing Mood Again
Posted 12 years agoTotally in another drawing mood.
*looks towards her buddies, Kieran and Cole* Heehee.
I want to draw more of them again. ^____^ *tiger tail wag*Second Chance
Posted 12 years agoTwo years ago already huh? *sighs*
Long story short, two years ago today (around 4p), I died literally and was brought back to life. So I forever call it my 'Rebirth Day'. And I thank Nyx every single day for the second chance she gave me.
~Second Chance~
Suddenly lightheaded feeling
and dizziness.
My heart pounds in my chest
as I go to sit down on the bench seat by the kitchen table.
My hearing starts to dim as does my vision.
I can't hear anymore and my eyesight is almost black.
The lightheaded feeling engulfs me
as unconsciousness takes me into darkness
as I start to fall towards the floor.
Feeling of floating,
disconnection from my body,
and a bright white light.
I go towards it confused
before I hear a woman's soft whisper
all around me.
“It's not yet your time my child.”
The feeling of disconnection starts to fade
as does the light.
Heaviness sets in again
and I slowly open my eyes.
Disoriented I sit up slowly from the floor
looking around wondering at first where I am.
Look at the cat before me wondering who's it was.
Yoko finally comes to my mind
as I blink again and look around again.
'What happened?'
is all I can think in my disoriented state.
'Could it have been a dream?'
No.
I heard her voice loud and clear.
Nyx.
I'm sure of it.
She sent me back to live.
She gave me a second chance.
I get up still disoriented but hungry.
Food. I need it.
I grab something to eat though still disoriented.
Once done though, I feel sleepy.
I lay on the couch and fall asleep,
her voice still echoing in my thoughts.
When I wake again a couple hours later,
I feel better.
Not so disoriented.
Alive.
I go to the balcony and look at the sky still blue and bright.
“Thank you,”
I whisper realizing it hadn't been a dream earlier.
“Thank you for allowing me to have a second chance and live.”
And eternally grateful I will be.YAAAAY!!!
Posted 12 years agoDOMA is dead!! *celebrates**throws rainbow cookies everywhere*
Edit:
Well I guess that it contained two parts. I found a clarification thingy that was posted on Facebook.
But hey, at least it's a step up!
(The clarification note I found off 'Have A Gay Day''s page:
"To Clarify What Has Happened Today:
DOMA was not "struck down" in a complete sense; only a portion of it has been ruled unconstitutional.
The District Court ruled against the United States. It held that Section 3 of DOMA is unconstitutional
and ordered the Treasury to refund the tax with interest."
That means that as far as federal benefits are concerned, same-sex couples
legally married in a state have equal federal benefits.
However, "DOMA contains two operative sections:
Section 2, which has not been challenged here, allows States to refuse to recognize
same-sex marriages performed under the laws of other States."
So we have made big steps today... but the fight continues.
This is a link to read more about the case:
http://www.supremecourt.gov/opinion....._g2bh.pdf";)
Masks
Posted 12 years ago
Another poem I wrote back in Creative Writing class in 2007. Again I'm sure anyone can relate with this one.
~Masks~
Masks.
Everyone wears them.
For most it's everyday.
They're not Halloween masks,
but emotional ones.
A masquerade ball everyday,
hiding their real feelings from others.
Sadness behind the happiness,
pain behind love.
Loneliness behind anger.
Emptiness behind laughter.
Never knowing the 'real' person behind the mask.
Afraid of disappointment; of rejection.
They'd rather live a lie to make others happy
than show their true selves.
One phrase to remember to those that wear a mask:
"Always be yourself. For those who matter, don't mind;
and those that mind, don't matter."Don't Ever Give Up
Posted 12 years ago
Another poem I wrote back in September 2010. I believe I wrote it for a friend that was going through some hardships at the time but I write it also for all my friends that have gone through hardships or are enduring them now. *hugs to all*
~Don’t Ever Give Up~
I sense your sadness and loneliness;
despair and grief.
Life is hard that I know
for I’ve gone through similar feelings as well.
The snow has fallen for me
as it is for you now,
but don’t give in and allow it to bring you to eternal sleep.
Stand and fight
and show them your strength.
Let that spark of hope never fade away
no matter how small it may seem.
But there’s one thing I can offer of myself:
I’ll always be there for you when you need me,
when you need someone to talk to,
when you need someone’s shoulder to cry on,
when you need someone to comfort you.
I won’t tire of hearing your voice
for its calling out to be heard.
It calls out needing comfort,
needing someone to say that everything will be alright,
even though it feels like it never will be alright.
Whenever you need someone just call me and I’ll listen.
I’ll listen until every star in the sky fades away.
I’ll listen until the sun never rises and the moon never shines.
I’ll listen until every tear seems to flow until it seems you can’t cry anymore.
Please don’t hate yourself for what seems uncontrollable
since it’ll only seem worse.
Don’t give up for that’s not like you.
Life is cruel sometimes with its twists and turns
and it seems that we can’t ever go on.
Days where it hurts so bad that you wish you could die or disappear.
But whatever you do, don’t give in and don’t give up.
Don’t let the darkness of life’s worst get to you too much.
Hope is still there watching out.
Watching out to find someone or something that will make it worthwhile.
Never give up because for that you can and will be strong and continue to get stronger.Broken Trust
Posted 12 years ago
Just randomly looking back on some old poetry I did and thought I'd put some of my work up. This I did last year in May of 2012 when I was going through some hardships.
(I'm sure some might relate.)
~Broken Trust~
Trust.
Five little letters.
One simple word.
Easy to gain for some.
Hard for others.
Some keep it sacred and safe
whilst others break it so easily.
Over the years
it has been gained and broken so much
I don't know who to trust any more.
I think I can trust someone
and they turn and spit on the ground at my feet
and leave me with my broken heart.
So all I can do now is leave my heart
locked in ice.
I do not give my trust to anyone freely anymore.
Earning it will be harder beyond compare.
But once you have it,
take care of it.
If you break it,
you will never gain it back.Drawing Mood
Posted 12 years agoTotally in a drawing mood right now. Hmmm maybe I will go draw some while I finish watching Rent.
This Month Sucks. Period.
Posted 12 years agoSo again, for the third time since Memorial Day, I've twisted my left ankle. And Tuesday I popped my right knee out. I'm seriously NOT having a good month whatsoever. I need a huge dosage of Fukitol pills.
Glad at least my ass of a father is with his army buddy in Chicago for the day and it's just me and my mother. At least I don't have to hear my father bitch at me saying it's 'my fault' for having hyper-mobile joints. *sighs* And already went to the doctors about it. They're sending me to physical therapy for both my ankles and my knees. >____>' Yeah....I seriously don't have money for this shit.
I'm going to go watch something to take my mind off the pain. I think some good ol' old school Yu-Gi-Oh will help. And some ice cream....
Glad at least my ass of a father is with his army buddy in Chicago for the day and it's just me and my mother. At least I don't have to hear my father bitch at me saying it's 'my fault' for having hyper-mobile joints. *sighs* And already went to the doctors about it. They're sending me to physical therapy for both my ankles and my knees. >____>' Yeah....I seriously don't have money for this shit.
I'm going to go watch something to take my mind off the pain. I think some good ol' old school Yu-Gi-Oh will help. And some ice cream....
Stormy Night
Posted 12 years agoUgh. Storms coming through that are pretty strong. Tornado warning further northwest of us. And trees down not too far from where I live. *eye twitch* Did I mention that I hate severe storms? (Regular storms that don't involve severe threats like tornadoes I don't mind as much).
>____> I'm going to go curl up in a ball now. T____T
>____> I'm going to go curl up in a ball now. T____T
Bad Day
Posted 12 years agoSo earlier today just after 1p I popped my right knee out while trying to take off my shoe. I've had my knee pop out and back in so many times that I'm pretty used to know what to do by getting ice on it but this time it hurt like hell enough to make me cry (since I haven't had it pop out in a long while). So I'm sitting there on my little couch bawling my eyes out and my dad (who is SUCH an asshole) starts bitching at me for popping my knee out! Seriously!? I mean, I already have hyperextended joints (which means sloppy joints and more prone to injury---something I learned in massage therapy class and also had my teacher use me as a good example (in a good way, not teasingly)).
Top it off, Memorial Day I twisted my left ankle and it's STILL bruised, puffy, and hurts somewhat (especially if you press certain areas, then it feels as if someone's taking needles and stabbing me with them in that spot). So obviously it's not healing right.
And double top that off, in just under an hour, I had to be up to get an MRI for my lower back to see what's been going on and why I will get wobbly legged to the point I can't stand on my own two legs when my lower back there is tight (I've never had an MRI before and it's in a small space and I'm claustrophobic--but it wasn't as bad as I thought at least--except the not moving while on my back for half an hour that is nearly impossible for me to do without getting stiff and sore).
Yelling at me was not a cool thing to do. All I can say is that I really, REALLY want out of this house and away from my asshat of a father really soon. I can't stand him! I'm so glad my mother doesn't do that to me. Without her here, I think I'd lose my mind.
Top it off, Memorial Day I twisted my left ankle and it's STILL bruised, puffy, and hurts somewhat (especially if you press certain areas, then it feels as if someone's taking needles and stabbing me with them in that spot). So obviously it's not healing right.
And double top that off, in just under an hour, I had to be up to get an MRI for my lower back to see what's been going on and why I will get wobbly legged to the point I can't stand on my own two legs when my lower back there is tight (I've never had an MRI before and it's in a small space and I'm claustrophobic--but it wasn't as bad as I thought at least--except the not moving while on my back for half an hour that is nearly impossible for me to do without getting stiff and sore).
Yelling at me was not a cool thing to do. All I can say is that I really, REALLY want out of this house and away from my asshat of a father really soon. I can't stand him! I'm so glad my mother doesn't do that to me. Without her here, I think I'd lose my mind.
