From  dyingvisionary!

--> http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1588988/ <--

So I was cleaning out my car earlier (i managed to get ants in it over the weekend haha) and found my old alto, Joey, in the trunk. (yes i name all my instruments they are my children shut up) I figured, eh, why not clean out my whole car and take him in with me? I found like a month's worth of dirty laundry in there too, haha. My fucking prom dress and hooker heels were in the backseat this whole time. xD

Anyways, about the sax. Well, I haven't touched the damn thing for more than ten minutes at a time in almost a year. I was a little nervous about picking him up again, but no one's at home right now so I wouldn't have to be self-conscious if I sounded bad. I picked up the mouthpiece, which still had an old reed in it (lol ew), honked a bit just to test my chops out, and it sounded good so I put the whole damn thing together.

I automatically fit my fingers to the keys
Took a big breath
Put my lips around the mouthpiece
And honked like there was no tomorrow

Guess what?


I sounded fucking amazing.


For sure, I thought I had lost most of my skills in the past few months I haven't even thought about poor Joey. BUT NO. Just sitting there on the couch, without even thinking about it, I blasted through all my major scales, my chromatics, even the pain-in-the-ass arpeggios I never bothered to learn back in the day.
I am on my goddamn A-game, baby.
Since I just had a burst of confidence [read:egostroking], I started blasting off every song I could remember from back in the day, including a few I've written myself. IT FELT SO GOOD. After I ran out of songs I knew already, I came back in here and listened to Sublime for a little bit. The track got around to "Date Rape" and inspiration hit me like lightning. So I walk back into the living room and play the entire alto sax part, even the solo (which might be a tenor idk i did it anyway), BY FUCKING EAR ON THE FIRST TRY.

I feel so badass right now. I want to shoot off fireworks and cannons and make a mark on the world.
Aaaaaahhh.



Just wanted to share the awesome feelings with you guys. :>

allll the single ladies~

Yep, taking some time to figure myself out.
It's pretty refreshing, actually. I had already done my mourning for the breakup a few days ago, so no tears or sadness here.

I feel pretty good. :>


Oh, I had to kill a Brown Recluse that wandered into my kitchen during the thunderstorm last night. I've never killed a spider in my life, it was so sad. I kinda feel like a hero, though. xP

Aaaaaahhh I don't know what to do with myself now haha.

 isabellaprice is being super awesome and doing free stuuuuff! :D

Go here! --> http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1579259/ <--

Free sketches from !

Go here! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1575937/

and I decided that improv jam sessions are my favorite things in the world.

Written music is great and all, but maaaan I love me some freestylin' sax, bass, acoustic guitar, and bongo.. all outside on the end of a pier in the middle of the night. I wanna sing on stage again, I wanna rock the fuck outta my sax up infront of a crowd of beatniks. (snapsnap motherfucker)

I miss being musical. All I do is write and sing shitty wannabe blues a capella songs. I haven't touched my alto in six months. :( My highschool friends and I used to smoke and jam all the fucking time, we were soooo amazing. I'd either sing/hum/scat/vocalize in the background or fight electric guitar for the lead on my sax. So much fun! Augh. I miss it.
Unfortunately, my old gang from school has drifted within the past year. Drama and jealousy broke us apart, and now I only talk to one of 'em once a month at the most (and even then, it's only in desperation for a half-assed candyman).

I want to find more musicians within the fandom. Kawazu and I were supposed to epically jam at this past FWA, but I managed to lose him in the insanity that were Roj's cookies. (Goddammit, that was a fun weekend.)

If I could find local stoner-gamer-musician-carloving-shenaniganhaving-nondogfucking furries, I'd be so happy.
Oh wait, that'd be , , , , , and .
I love you guys.
How did this go from a music journal to a shoutout to my brofuses journal? Derp. |D


Hey, I just learned that "macaroni and cheese" on the street means "a $5 pack of marijuana and a dime bag of cocaine." Thank you, whitehousedrugpolicy.org!
Also, I was pooping while writing this.

So life here has been pretty boring as of late, yes?

Well, let's spice it up with bizarre stories from the past! (Please, keep it PG-13.)

I'll start:


About two years ago, my friend  chuckers and I were headed out to the old folks' home to visit his grandmother. Now, this woman is in her early 80s and has lost both her legs to diabetes, PLUS she's stuck in a diaper 24/7. You would expect her to be a grouchy, miserable old hag, right? WRONG. We walk into her room and the woman starts beaming at me like I was the second coming of Christ. We're chatting, joking, goofing off, just having a great time (in a nursing home, of all places). After a little bit, she asked Chuck to step outside for a minute. He cocks and eyebrow at me and walks out the door, kinda giggling as he gets out into the hallway. His grandmother looks at me and says, "Girl, shut the door real quick. I got somethin' I want to tell you." I shut the door, feeling a little.. concerned.. but interested nonetheless. She then looks at me and says, "Well Sam, I noticed this when you walked in but I didn't want to embarrass you in front of Charles; but you've got a nice set of boobs on you." I immediately start squealing and giggling like a goddamn hyena. This old-ass lady I had just met is complimenting my boobs like they're the greatest things she'd ever seen. Of course, the orderly had heard the squealing and came rushing into the room to see what the hell I had done to her, so I had to explain what had happened and HE starts falling over himself laughing, then goes off to tell every other nurse there.

That was a neat day.

Not from me, derp.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1549996/

[01] Do you have the guts to answer these questions and re-post as The Controversial Survey?
Obviously. :P

[02] Would you do meth if it was legalized?
I'd smoke a chunk right now, if I had the means. I doubt I'd enjoy it, but I'm the kind of person who wants to experience every single motherfucking thing out there before she dies. Besides, I fucking love drugs.

[03] Abortion: for or against it?
Pro-choice, totally. I used to be super pro-life, then I started ignoring religious propaganda. An egg is not a chicken, an apple blossom is not a fruit, a cluster of parasitic cells is not a human. The only aspect I don't like is that the father has no say.

[04] Do you think a country would fail with a female president?
Presidents are just a face, a sort of "spokesperson" for a country/government; gender wouldn't make a difference there. It'd be kinda cool to see a chick elected in my lifetime, though.

[05] Do you believe in the death penalty?
Killing someone to show people that killing is wrong? Yeah, I see a bit of a flaw there. That, and innocent people can be falsely charged and killed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't believe any human has the right to decide who lives and who dies.

[06] Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
Fucking yes. There should be no difference between having a beer after work or having a joint. I'll admit to being biased, having many years of experience with the drug, but in all that time I've never experienced anything negative. Its uses, both medical and recreational, are just fucking fantastic. It's the only thing that can help banalheart with his pains and nausea, and torick with his bone spurs and severe joint pains. As for myself, I smoke just to relax, occasionally to help me sleep (I have a lot of varied problems with sleeping) or to get rid of my super-wicked-bad migraines. Marijuana is the goddamn miracle drug.

[07] Are you for or against premarital sex?
All for it. Sure, I regret having sex with people I didn't really love back in the day, but it helped me to learn what I like and don't like, both sexually and emotionally. It helped me realize my priorities in a relationship. Sexual incompatibility fucks up a relationship quick; finding that out after tying the knot is just one big pain in the ass. Getting attached to someone emotionally will keep things going in the long run, but a vanilla and a BDSM fanatic just are not going to last.
Ooh, and another neat thing: Sexual attraction fades after four years. What I'm trying to do in my current relationship is have a strong emotional and sexual bond for at least that much time before I even think about trying on a little white dress. This is to assure that I can stand someone even after they've lost the shiny newness. I wish everyone would do this, the divorce courts are so clogged.

[08] Do you believe in God?
*sigh* This is gonna be a long one.
My religious views are fucking bizarre. I've experienced psychic abilities firsthand, giving me reason to trust in the raw power of the human mind. Being a logical person who realizes that space is absolutely fucking infinite, I believe in aliens. I also see the absolute truth in evolution. Now, adding all these things together, you get a belief in species of super-evolved aliens that were once like humans are now that we view as "gods" because we can't explain them as anything else, combined with a belief that human consciousness can thrive without a physical body. So yes, technically, I'm polytheistic. But I don't pray to these creatures, nor do I think they are in control of my actions. I think they were like humans once, and evolved to the point of not needing physical bodies. I'd like to think they've tried to make contact with us (or at least some other planets with sentient beings) sometime in the past. I also don't believe in the "heaven/hell" afterlife, but I'm open to the idea of the constantly-evolving human mind functioning after the flesh has lost its use.
So I may sound like a aluminum foil hat-wearing crazyface, but that is what I like to think is out there.

[09] Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?
It's a basic human right for anyone to be able to participate in a human-made ritual. Not allowing gays to be married is like having a "[blank] only" clubhouse, but for adults. It's the same sort of discrimination minorities experienced up until the '60s, women went through up until the '20s, and same-sex couples will rise up and fix this shit too. Every generation has a revolution; ours will be one of basic human rights yet again.

[10] Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA?
No. I have nothing wrong with the people moving here to help out their families. What I do have a problem with is the system controlling it. Giving them SS and insurance benefits when they don't even pay taxes pisses me right the fuck off. The employers who hire these people make me fume. Paying an illegal $3/h to do the physically toughest work out there is just so supremely fucked up. It's not the illegals, it's the skeezy companies who hire them that I fucking loathe. I've been denied work because they don't want to pay me the legitimate eight dollars an hour. It's the same as BP cutting corners with the safety regulations. Fuck.

[11] A twelve year old girl has a baby, should she keep it?
Fuck no. Abortion is the best option there. She could go adoption, sure, but man that kid is gonna be fucked up. A 12-year-old's body just can't harbor a developing child. God, and the trauma that poor girl would go through.. I'd like to think that no 12-year-olds are out there fucking right now, but that's preferable to the only other way that child could be put in that situation. The parents could take care of it and raise it like a "sibling" to the mother, but no child should have to grow up that fast.

[12] Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen?
Supporters of this might say, "If you can die for your country at 18, you should be able to have a drink too." But, the legal drinking age on military bases is 18. Lol. It would be cool for it to go back down, but I dunno if that first year or two of stupid kids binge-drinking would be worth it.

[13] Should the war in Iraq be called off?
I have no idea why we're even stationed there in the first place. If it's to stop the religious wars, HAHAHA. It's been going on for over 2000 years, we aren't going to fix it any time soon. If it's for oil/whatever or political gain, that shit's fucked up. Stop. America can't afford this war. It's a waste of fucking money, and a waste of our troops' time.
So yeah, I guess I think we should pull out.

[14] Assisted suicide is illegal: do you agree?
I wish it was legal. An adult has every right to decide when they're ready to go. No one should ever have to live when they simply do not want or need to. Now, plenty of psychological testing and counseling should be done beforehand, and anyone with a spouse/dependent should be made to include them in the counseling. It would have to be heavily monitored and regulated, but still legalized.

[15] Do you believe in spanking your children?
Kids are dumb as shit. They don't understand verbal discipline. You either have to take privileges away from them and make them earn it back (like my parents did to me), or beat the ever-living shit out of 'em. Training kids is like training dogs; you can't be afraid to hit them. Luckily for me, this is not an issue I will ever have to deal with, as I loathe children and find childbirth to be amazingly disgusting.

[16] Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?
Dude, I'd burn it for free. I'd burn any flag. It's fucking fabric. It's like worshiping a statue just because it represents something you like. The hype people get about "patriotic" things is ridiculous.

[17] Who do you think would have made a better president? McCain or Obama?
Like I said on number four, presidents are just faces. I'm glad Obama made it, though. America is kid of on the down side of other countries' opinions lately, and having a fucking bimbo as VP would just turn us into a joke. That, and it's neat having a sort-of badass in office again, as opposed to yet another pencil-pusher. On an actual political viewpoint, it is nice to have a matching house majority this time around.

[18] Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
Nah. I'd like to see my friends' responses to my opinions, and I hope some fill this out as well.

KSOLIEK today feels like an awesome day.
I hope something amazing happens. :O
Like free Icee refills all day long. OMFG.


Meme time.

1 – Do you and your "fursona" look alike?
Other than the fact that I am not an anthropomorphic sparkleferret, yes. Same hair, eyes, piercings, and tattoos.

2 – Do you and your "fursona" share attires?
I try to keep the wardrobe close to stuff I wear IRL, but I'll often draw on clothes I wish I could have.

3 – Do you share the same sexuality as your fursona?
Yes indeedy. Though I'm a tad bit dykier than my ferret-self.

4 – If you hadn’t already made your fursona look like you, if you would to change how he/she looked like to make him/her look more like you, how would you think he/she would look like?
*trying to make sense of that* Uh.. like this.

5 – Did you work hard to develop your fursona? What is the (brief) history of your fursona?
HAHA, no. I grew out of the gaudiness of Aderyn (after three years of her not changing), then being a deer got boring (even though it was only for six weeks, lol). So I decided that I need an animal that sorta "represents" me, knowing that I'd want a character that could evolve and change as I do. So a reverse-colored black-footed ferret who dyes her fur a lot was born. :D

6 – Do you and your fursona share relationship status?
Yerp. No imaginary relationships (or lack-thereof) for me.

7 – Do you find yourself jealous or upset if you get paired with someone you don’t like or your partner does?
I'd be pissed if I saw Torick or Banalheart drawn in compromising situations with other people's durrsonas. We have an agreement that imaginary characters are fair game, though. (spiderman unf unf♥)

8 – How would you like your character not to be used?
Don't put me in porn with one of your generic sex-crazed characters, please. FerretSam is a representation of myself, and I'd like to only be seen doing things that I have done/would do; fucking you is not one of those things. :>

9 – What’s your fursona's specialty?
Being a ferret..? Fuck, I dunno. I know my way around a bari sax, does that count? Oh, and being a chubby contortionist. :D (My flexibility was a big factor when choosing a ferrety ferret.)

10 – At a score of 1-10 how much are you and your fursona alike?
Personality - 10/10
Looks - 5/10 because I am not a slinkybutt IRL.

Yup, it's official. I'm a slinkybutt, hider of keys and thief of all things shiny.

So I wanna get random, meaningless, and easily hidden tattoos. I'm not sure what (or even where) yet, I'm just mulling things about in my head. It'd be awesome to get some input from you gaiz~

Now, I'm not talkin' no Native American hugging a corndog shit, these are gonna be cute and innocent and blah blah. I'm thinking pumpkins, the poison Mario shroom, something 420-related, the ES4:O "O" thing, maybe even a goddamn cuddlefish. Cute, small, hard to fuck up, and G-rated. Just random shit.

I already have one splotch of ink (don't fullview that shit i was young and didn't know the joys of resizing shit) on my left forearm in the elbow crook, and let's face it NOTHING WILL EVER MATCH RAINBOW STARS so it doesn't really matter what else I get. Shit, I can't even turn that into a sleeve, I'm stuck forevers.

So suggest things for me to get permanently needled into my skin. Idfc.