As much as I enjoy drawing fury art, the stereotype that furry seems to follow it and its hard to display any work in a professional manner.
I do enjoy porn as much as anyone can. But if not check it can consume you (vore reference no pun intended).

What I want to do with my art is be able to show it to non furries and they would have the same enjoyment. I picked up the book Draw Furries: How to Create Anthropomorphic and Fantasy this past week online. Here's a link to buy it :http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/16.....ss_T15_product
This is a good buy in my opinion. The artists really break down the character design well from cartoon to semi realistic. I hope to improve my art this year with this book and other art books I have.

This weekend is my big Army OCS test I been training for. Been beating myself up running every day for the past two weeks. I need to get 2 miles done under 16 mins. I know it can be done I've done it before. I just gotta keep telling myself I can do this.

I do need to go to Army OCS this spring, not just to help me develop good skills but, I dont have a job and I will get paid a nice sum during the weeks I am at this training getting chewed out. I just gotta keep telling myself this is all for a greater good.

As much as I enjoy drawing fury art, the stereotype that furry seems to follow it and its hard to display any work in a professional manner.
I do enjoy porn as much as anyone can. But if not check it can consume you (vore reference no pun intended).

What I want to do with my art is be able to show it to non furries and they would have the same enjoyment. I picked up the book Draw Furries: How to Create Anthropomorphic and Fantasy this past week online. Here's a link to buy it :http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/16.....ss_T15_product
This is a good buy in my opinion. The artists really break down the character design well from cartoon to semi realistic. I hope to improve my art this year with this book and other art books I have.

This weekend is my big Army OCS test I been training for. Been beating myself up running every day for the past two weeks. I need to get 2 miles done under 16 mins. I know it can be done I've done it before. I just gotta keep telling myself I can do this.

I do need to go to Army OCS this spring, not just to help me develop good skills but, I dont have a job and I will get paid a nice sum during the weeks I am at this training getting chewed out. I just gotta keep telling myself this is all for a greater good.

This week so far I been waking up feeling like a was in a stampede, weak and tired. Reason for this, I have been working out hard to prepare for my drill PT (Physical Training) Test this weekend. The past month test I was short by a min from passing. For a while I been running on a epically machine at my home. I help me before.. I new I need to get on a treadmill soon.

For the past two days I have been on the treadmill, training to bring down my run time. When that is completed, I take up some reading and art. Thank you all again for the comments and favs on my art these past few days.

Besides that I am doing what I can to get the most of the days I have left and get alot accomplished. It is possible to get alot accomplish. Hell if artist can make an animation under 24 hours I can do the stuff on my to-do list. I have just been feeling burned out in the morning.

I need to figure out why this is happening. Am I working to hard, is my diet not right to keep my body moving or is it Mental. I been feeling this bad habit for a while and I need to stop it or I know its going to hurt me.

Ohh how I hate to get up in the morning, oh how I want to remain in BED!!! The hardest part of all is to hear that bugle call.."You gotta get up, You gotta get up this Morning."
Someday I'm going to kill the Bugler, Someday they are going to find him DEAD. I his revelry and step upon it hevely and spend the rest of my life in bed!!!!

The year of 2009 for me was not a good year. Fighting depression, keeping a job and Army options with OCS. I did try to end it well by spending time with family, helping out my brother move and give support to my half brother and sister during they're hard times. Try to make the most of the time I had left.

What I want out of this year is to have more friend I can call on for support. I found it hard over the years to have a good friend. Want to break that bad habit, find friends I can relate to and they can call on for me for support and I can ask the same of them.

As for the end of 2009, I meet up a local fur whos going to a school near me. We hung out played games at David Buster. I hope to meet other furs like him in the Western PA area this year.

This holidays season was nice, got everything I could need from my gifts. Mostly gear needed for me that I will use for Army Officer Candidate School. I leave fro that in 3 weeks. Other than that it was small items here and there. I do wish I had my dream job this year.. But that's just wishful dreaming.

My grandparents were in good health compared to last year. This might be last good Christmas they have, they are pushing their lat 80s. We got them a computer and the internet this year so that way they can talk to the family members that live more than 3 hours away from them. So communicating should be easier.

On Sunday I went to see James Cameron Avatar it was an AMAZING MOVIE!!!! That man knows how to make movies, get crap and DIE Michel Bay!!! The only negative thing I could say about the movie is that the 3d glasses felt annoying, pushing gets my head. I cant explain how great that movie is, just go and see it!!

I just hope someday things for my career turn for the better and I get in a position to work on movies like that. I guess that is my goal for next year to work hard to get a job in a flied of creativity. It can be done I just need to work hard on my own stuff and dont waste time doing dumb things.

I did plenty of that this year, mostly watching dumb videos and playing video games. So I am trying to set a goal as of now to create, read and workout the rest of 2009 to make up for some lost time. If guys can create a animated film in 24 hours I can make up for lost time in the things I wanted to do. Just need to stay on task!!

Its been a month since my last journal posting, alot has happened in the past month. Some for good I hope. I kind of went a questing path for a bit, wondering if going to be an Officer in the US Army was the right thing for me. I talked to everyone under the sun about it, my dad freaked out about the idea of me quitting. But a fellow OC candidate gave me some advice to put it in perspective. SO I am going to continue with the program. Its going to be hard but it seems to be rewarding at the end.


Bad thing about that time frame, it took me away from improving my portfolio for Ottawa. I know I wasnt going to be get any jobs at that event. I did get some interviews and feedback about my work. Made me to question how do I want to approach furry art and my regular art for now on.


When I got back from that event I got laid of for the next two weeks from the t-shirt place. My Boss there told me not to plan anything for the next two weeks. Hell I am going to look for another job if my boss is going to be like that. Bring me on then throw me out, shows how much I am valued there.

Good news I had that interview for that video editor position down the road for me bad news it was a phone interview. I felt like it could of gone better, and after that whole deal with phone interview I found on Career Bulider they posted a new add up dated for the 19 of Oct for the position I applied for. I am not having any high hopes on a 2nd interview. All I can do is learn from that interview and prepare for the next one.

I have another interview tomorrow for a graphic and lay out position with a production company near by. I need to shine in this one, to get in a position where I can make some good money and be valued work. Because I know I can do the job well, and what I don't know I can learn.


Another note I sure you Disney fans saw this posting: http://jeftoonportfolio.blogspot.co.....-princess.html

Gotta love the one of NALA looking bad ASS:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_uw6czCWBy.....ncess_nala.jpg

Well its been over a month since my last journal and the break down that occurred. What I needed to do was to talk to someone about it and just vent. That person was my godmother/aunt, she was there to offer me guidance that was needed. She is someone I have taken for granted in the past whos has helped me before. She put things into perspective for me and gave me some words of confidence.

That following week I answered a ad of a job on craigslist for a position as a entry level graphic designer/ production artist. It turned into a working interview and then to a full time job. Its been such a long time since I worked a full time job. I been there for about a month and things are going sort of okay. I still going online and looking for other work. Its better to look for a job when you have a job. Last time I had a sort of a full time job, I got conformable and lazy. Then I lost the and went into a depression.

With me being active looking for a job. I got a call for an interview for a position as a multimedia video editor near my home. That was about a week ago. The are having problems down there with defining the job for some odd reason. But I am still in the line up for a job interview. I just have to be patient and wait for them to call to make time for the interview.

So things are moving to a state of where I want to go. I just need to bump up my art work an animation a notch so I dont get lazy.

I been dreading the date of August 21 for some time. Why do you ask? Its my 27th birthday and the tenth anniversary I had to break up with my first g/f by order of my parents. Hard to believe its been ten years since that day. I had a big goal this week to get this image done and e-mail it to her. It was going to be a pic of our Lion King Roll Playing characters when we first met. But that goal feel short due to part of trying to keep up on tasks that my parents were throwing at me this week. I still have intentions on completing that image and e-mail it to her. Hopefully I can preform a good quality on this pic that I can put it in my portfolio. God knows I need to make improvements to that.

On the subject of me turing 27 I finding myself in a situation where I don't want to be. After completing college I did not want to return home to live at my parents house. Your leave the nest to go to college on to come back to the nest. This feeling is starting to effect my performance on jobs and looking for jobs. For example, when I get a task from my father or my boss at the t-shirt place. I am seeing the task before me, I ask questions about doing the job to make sure I am doing it right, then when I do it, I have one foul up that makes them almost want to bite my head off. This week it, was my boss with printing on the machine. I ask him before printing that we we need to have everything print on the page for the white screen press. That If I do not engage the separation in the printing option, it should print one solid color? He said yes, then when I print , it starts to print as a half tone and he starts yelling at me. Even thou I asked him before hand. Do I have to be come an a pain in the butt with question in order to do things right?

Today I had my dad yelling at me about a task he had me do at the frat house. He had me move tools from one room to another. Then he starts yelling at me that I didn't remove all the items. Then task I wanted to get done today with the yard was done incorrectly. For good thirty mins yelling at me how something like this will get me fired. I understand that, I don't know how I can prove to him that I can do task without fouling up. But what I think gets him upset even more is that I do not want to do things for his frat house, even if he is paying me for it.

I have regrets joining the same frat as my Dad. The frat has ruined allot of my friendships at college. I lost of good bit of time I could have done well on project only to do a dumb drinking task. On that drinking task I would decline to drink and try to get out of there to get back to my work. When I left college, I felt that I was alone again,not confident in myself, and a failure. Now I am living at home, trying to get a job, having no social interaction with anyone, and having my parents acting what they need done is more important then what I need to get done. I gotta get out of here....

I found this article on yahoo and it talks abit about fur suites and NSFW.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB100.....?mod=yhoofront

This was my first time staying at Ac for majority of the event. Looking back at the weeks before I did not prepare well for this event. Things got a little ruff during my time there, but I tried not to let that bring me down. All I can do is learn form this experience and move on.

At the event I was rooming with  raziel0682  talakestreal  vitani and a friend of vitani who was also there. I didnt spend much time with my roommates due to the face I wanted to try to get commission are work. We had lunch and diner during our time together. Other than that we seen each other at the room when it was time to call it a night.

Whats disappointing is that I got zero of commission work in artist ally. I did a con badge for  vitani friend, but thats about it. The fact I didnt prepare well for setting up my display of work and I most of my art work being digital and random doodles contribute to the lack of buyers. I guess I need to reevaluate my art on here and find out what do people what from commission art and what can I give them. Something to shoot for next year.

On Friday evening and Saturday, I spent most of my time with the Wolf production crew in the artist ally and through the rest of the con. We sat through a neat workshop about story-boarding from an artist who use to work at cartoon network. Sat with them at there room to see some kick ass fireworks! I was with them till early in the morning around around one when I called it a night with them.

At the end of my con I chatted up with some other furs and had to call it an end of event. To everyone who I saw at the event and spend time with, thank you! I hope the rest of your time in Pitt goes well and have a safe trip home and hope to see you at AC 2010!!!

The past few weeks have just been so hard on me physically and mentally. My job has been giving me less and less time at work. Due to that my father has been on my but about everything.... How I spend my time that I need to redefined myself in order to find a better job with benefits. It seems to like that for everyone. Have a job and then loss a job. I hoping next week will be better for me to find work. I did get some work done on one website, made 250 from it.

Right now at AC, I feel like I am down in a hole with everything. This weird feeling of depression hit me like a hammer today. Tried for the artist ally today and got no sale... So that tells me something is wrong with my art, that its not good enough to be in demand. With fur friends, I feel like a basted friend.... I dont want to dwell on that and cause fury drama. Just keep to myself. To help me out of this I am just playing some MTV Unplugged: Alice In Chains, just let myself vent in a positive way.....

This past month has been a busy one for me with family events, my first OCS drill weekend and starting my new job. My grandmother recently got out of the Hospital earlier this month, and she has been doing well. We had a big birthday party for here last weekend, she turned 86! Do hope she stays around with us for a few more years.

My OCS drill weekend was a rude awaking when it comes to how much I know about the US Army. Which don't know jack shit when to that. I still dont have all my gear and yet a job that I will be doing. I was under the impression I had all that taken care of. I have drill coming up next weekend and I have to ho out and buy some gear, plus try to get into better shape. I just about failed my PT test. a lot of work ahead of me.

I started my new job taken photos of High School kids this past month. There have been alot of down days, most of the days have been training days to prepare. Tomorrow is my first full day gig, I'll be doing photo editing and set up. From the editing position I will be working towards other positions.

With doing work and getting myself ready for OCS, I took my half siblings to see some summer movies. I saw X Men Origins Wolverine a the start of the month. It wasnt bad, the ending is odd. For some reason I become a big fan of this Deadpool character the comic and cartoon one, not the movie. On Friday I saw up with my siblings and a friend. At the start of the movie I couldnt help to cry, I have cried like that in a cartoon movie since The Lion King. If you do not cry at the start of up, YOU HAVE NO SOUL....
This movie video says it best!
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/vid.....-movies/755-Up


With I a mont Anthro Con will be here. I made arraignments to stay the whole week. Trying to keep it on the down low away from my family. They dont see anything positive about the furry thing. Specially when someone like this is in the news.
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/0915.....973907-455.stm

I hate shit like this, I like to see furries in the news for something positive that doesn't involved sex and crimes. I said my pice and counted to three on that!

One thing I learned when I had to retake my military ASVAB test is when I set my self to a goal I can accomplish it. This past month I have been setting goals and pushing them back days and weeks do to this one client website job. The bad thing about that job is I am not getting paid for it. The job was an internship position in which I can update now and then and to my other task. For the past 3 weeks the client has been so demanding on updates it been taking up most of my time. As of now I am not doing any more updates until I get a payment. Plus I need to set time to work on other things to improve myself.

I was on the apple website today and I saw the new trailer for Disney's First cell animated film in the past 5 years, http://www.apple.com/trailers/disne.....ler_large.html. In watching the intro of that preview and how the show the other Disney films I grew up with. I wish I could be apart of that environment and not where I am now. I bust my but in college and when I wanted to do more everyone tells me to pull out. Now I gotta start doing things for me. Where I want to be when this mover, Princess and the Frog comes out. I want to be doing some sort of job animating. For those who are watching me, be a hard crit on my work. I dont want to be lazy ass artist no more.

Its the start of a new month, May. I am hoping this month is better than April. Good news is to start the month, I have a job taking photos of High School Students, my grandmother his home from Pitt Hospital and she look better than she did a week ago. They Doc in Pitt know their stuff, they dont mess around. Now that may is here, its time to step things up a notch. BTW I saw the new x-men flick. Those who are a fan of Wolverine you need to see this little spoof. http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/x-men/

Its been just about 2 weeks since the event of me losing my job at the t-shirt place. Since then I haven't been hurting for money but I needed to find a way to bring some work my way. Which lead to me doing some odd jobs such as scanning kid photos for a video studio with there weird ass scanner. Working on a vector file for the other part time t-shirt place and doing some screen cleaning s for him. He brings me on a case by case when he needs the extra help. I should down the road make a website for him to bring more work his way and work for me.

At the end of that week I went to Steel City con. It was not too bad of a time meet some artist there; who I need to touch with tomorrow. Spend about 70 bucks on art books and comics signed by artist. Not all a bad time, wish I knew more artist in the pitt area to meet up at events like this.

The start of this week I just want to get some many things on my to do list done. Doing most of the work down at my grandparents home. The need someone to look out for them and be a lackey when needed. On Tuesday, my grandmother got a phone call that she needed to get back to the emergency room. Reason is that her white blood cell count is too high. This will be the 2nd time this month she had to go. She is so upset that she had to go back. As of now she is at a Hospital in Pitt that seems to be on top of things better than my home town hospital.

She is down in pitt today and hope she will be back before Sunday. On a bright note I got a job!!! I took up the position with the photo studio near me. It will be starting out part time and when I come back from my OCS school it will move to full time. I am happy about that!

Words in my mind I thought I would never hear, "We gotta let you go". Was the message from my Boss as I finish cleaning another screen for the press. Those words and "I love you, but I am not in love with you" I herd in the past. I dont know which one feels worst, getting dumped or getting fired. Right now and down the road getting fired feels worst. The reason I was "Let go" they dont have the time to train me on the screen printing press, they are over demand and need me to know this stuff ahead of time. The other guy I do screen printing fore will not let me operate his press. So there for, I do not have the experience of operating this machine.

My former Boss still wants to keep in contact with me for art work and his website, get to a point with me that I can work from home. I told him I would be glad to work with him that way. But I fear due to me leaving before finishing De-hazing the screen might of ruined that. The best corse of action would be to send him a letter thanking them for the job experience, sorry I couldnt meet the needs you want, and hope to keep in contact with you for art jobs.

So now What?!?! I gotta find a way to get a job or find something to bring money in to help me. Good news is I have some money to take care of the bills, bad news is I am leaving in 3 months for OCS. This is day sucks so bad, It could be worst, but I wish it was better.

Its been two weeks at my new job and things are going not to bad. Since I am the FNG (Freaking New Guy) I start off doing the work at the bottom before I can work up to the printing press. Which will be this week to start doing task on that machine. They been talking to me about helping to set up a website for them to start bring in more work and more cash. Hey it will look good for me if I helped a company like this!

On my last day of work last week I got a phone call from that Photographer studio I interviewed with last month. They wanted to offer me the position, working full time. I was excited about that till I herd they got rid of the last person due to things not working out. Thats a BIG RED FLAG to me. What happened here? Was it the person, was it them? I dont know. So I talked over with some of my family members about that job offer and I am siding on No on that job offer.

Its nice to be wanted instead of not wanted. It would be be a good experience on my resume to work there. Due to the fact I will be gone at the End of July and that is most likely the busy part for photo studio with senior portraits and fall photos. I would be causing them problems to work with them less than 4 months. Plus right now I am doing some freelance jobs and making a good bit of money to keep the bill collectors off my back. I need to step it up a bit to work for a better job.

I know I do get lazy fast or dont balance project with other things. I keep putting down goals for myself and keep putting them off to another day. I gotta stop doing that!

Since my last journal entry, I didn't get the photographer job with that studio. The went with the other person on that fact they have more photo experience than me. The want to call me in if another position opens up first. That kind of put me down in the dumpster. Trying to look back what I did wrong and what can I do better. But time is not on my side and I need to find any job soon.

After that disappointing phone call I went out to look for another job. Started with the fast food joints, yep thats right; working with food. I filled out 5 applications and got one called back for Mc Donalds. That interview was this past Monday. Before that interview I went out to see if I can find any graphic related jobs. Instead of checking online, I got my best suite and tire on, printed out 10 copies of my resume, did a google map search on graphic companies in my area and went out on a hunt. Filled out a few applications, called a few that I could not find and send e-mail applications.

When it came to that Job interview with Mc Donalds, the manager told me to try there website to find a higher paying job instead of coming to their place as an entry level. If I do not find any call backs in a week I can work with them. I want to try to keep away form working with food. If all eles fails then its off to that.

On Tuesday I had sort of a job interview for a video company in my area, they mostly do wedding ad family videos. I showed them my stuff and I can work on a case by case base on projects. I dont think I will here from them soon so my next step was to hit companies in the Greensburg area. Same thing like I did the other day, shirt and tie, with my resume. Going to places dropping off my resume and filling out applications.

The result of that was an interview with Game Stop on Thursday. That interview was a bit odd due to it was going on while the manger interviewing me was eating. It went over well, but once again my experience in sales, something I am lacking may hurt me. But I talked about how problem solving is related to video games, there's a guide how to beat it in that and in the work related environment. While I was at that interview I got an interesting voice mail.

That method of driving around handing out my resume paid off. I got a call form a t-shirt company who wanted to talk about it. They where impressed by my resume and if I would be interested in working for them start on a part time base and working to a full time position. Ohh yeah, working with screen printing and design t-shirts, sure! This company has contacts with my local business and nation wide ones, Hasbro and Paramount. They were printing Dio Bot t shirts when I was walking through the factory. Ohh yeah I think this is for me!!! I showed them my stuff and my vector and other works I have done. I will here from them on Monday if they want to bring me on.

So just about everyday this week I was driving somewhere in a suite and tie handing out filling out applications. As a result if that I got 3 job interviews. I hope I get some good news about them coming Monday. As of this weekend I am going to hope for the best and plain for the works.. Hoping none the less.

For those who enjoyed that video"Swimming with a lioness".
You'll get a kick out of this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvCjyWp3rEk

Since Monday, I've been fighting this cold that got the best of me yesterday. On Tuesday I had a second interview with a photography studio in my area. The brought me back for this because I am tied between me and another person for the photographer position. For 15 mins I had to tell her why I should be hired compared to the other person. I sold myself on the fact that I can do more that just photos. I will find out friday If I got this position. I can really use that job!!

Well as of 12:00 today I have gone back into the military. Next step is officer school and I will have a job acting as a supervisor for the multimedia division for the army national guard. I'll be missing out on this summer, I'll be at officer school at the time. But, hopefully this will be the big step I need to build onto my resume. I'll be only in for 3 years which is nice, not a long stay compared to the 6 years I did with the Air National guard. Just want to be in a good job and be happy, it seems so much to ask for.

Back this past summer the trailer for the "Watchmen" came out and I've been following the updates about this movie even watched the animated comic on Apple's iTunes. About 5 mins ago I got this link to something titled "Watchmen Saturday Cartoon Intro"... This has to be a JOKE!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd6MuqrnHog

Well where to I begin to tell you how 2009 is going for me. To put it in a statement: It could be better. I thought having a four year college degree would help me find a good job,, hell any job. Its been 3 months since I got out of school and job after job applying; interview after interview and no DICE. The jobs that had offered have been related to sales and I have turned them down due to getting paid little and allot of hours. Looking for that job that will help me start some sort of career so I looked back at the Military Officer program.

Become a military officer with the U.S. Army National Guard as a supervisor with the multimedia division. To take this road I would need to do some task to meet the qualifications of this job. Retake the ASVAB test due to my original score 7 years ago is not up to par. A 3 week training at a Army training base, sort of a cross training for Air Force Airmen to the Army idea of training. Then this summer I will have to go to OCS at Harrisburg. When I get completed with that I will have a job managing a multimedia department.

So this summer I will be turning 27,,,,,I was thing back ten years ago. What happened that summer, I had my first love and lost her. Her name was Mel and I meet her on a website for Lion King Fans.. That webs allowed me to find other Lion King fans like myself and plus the fan art. Allot of big artist where on there starting out. Meting Mel online I was head over heals in love with her.. I never had that same way towards anyone. On my 17th Birthday I had to break up with her, by order of my father. Due to I racked up 600 dollar phone bill calling her. She moved on by now. But a strong part of me is sill in love with her... I would like to talk to her one more time someday.

Looking back 2008 was a busy year for me and felt like a long one. I've done allot of things, learned and experience things I haven't before. Want to make 2008 end on a good now and start 2009 well.

School is over forever for me now. Got to school for majority of your life and it ends anti climatic. This fall could of been better, my animation in flash could of been ten times better. This was my first time completing a full 1 min animation to the end, colored, sound, etc. I ended up cutting corners in animating to get it done. When I look back at it, it feels pain-full to watch. I wish I didn't take so many animation credits just to get done. But I got what all my school could teach me and now its up to me to teach myself. I still going to e-mail teacher to get feed back from animation work. Just don't let my education I got there go to waste.

Make arrangements to got to a party on the other side of the state for new years eve. Last year I spent it at home and headed to bed before. I remember back new years eve 1998, I just discovered the internet was a place for artist to submit work. I was on the Lion king Fan art site. Whoa 10 years ago, damn that makes me feel old. But your only as old as you think.. With a new year coming up a new way to think about things and do things. Wish me luck!!!