Hey guys! I haven't updated my queue in a bit oops! I'll fix that now and hopefully touch base with everyone tonight about their owed commissions, though I think I only have two clients on here. If I'm wrong and you don't see your name on this list PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know ;; o;; List is on my jpurnal header thingy)



Anyways, the real reason for this journal!

I have my first doctor's appointment in yeeeeears (Probably at least 9 years) on Wednesday morning. Due to a mishap with my mom and cash related issues I have no idea what it's going to cost and have no savings account now, and less than 200 dollars to my name now. It's not her fault but damn...it completely ruined my savings and now I'm worried about the cost of the appointment. I have health insurance, but literally no way to see what it will cost til it happens-

TMI INFO BELOW ABOUT SHARK WEEK

Ya'll I've been bleeding nonstop for 3 months straight. Little cramps, but constant blood. It's made me incredibly dizzy and I wake up fatiqued every day. Sometimes it feels like I can't see bc of it. I also have the super sharp pains in my gut every now and then that knock the wind out of me. Long story short, that's why I'm going in for the check up and why I have absolutely no idea what it will cost...even the receptionist seemed a little shocked, yikes....


That being said, I'd like to get $200 before Wednesday just in case. And if it is free, having that will at least get me settled into a bit of a savings account which is literally my only stress. Commissions are hella open! Look at my TOS for prices and just in general reading if you're interested in commissioning me. Also everything in my forsale folder is up for grabs. (With the exception of chibis and Black Friday flash sales) I do, however, have a $6 flash sale option on colored headshots if you'd like to know more about, you can comment or PM of course <3

If any of this sounds up your interests, please let me know! I'm halfway to $200 but only have a day to make up the rest"" I'm working on adopts and more YCHs but those probably won't be available til tomorrow.

Thank you for reading! <3

So I'm weak and I had a lot of fun looking at everyone's fav medias ; v;/ It was nice to see everyone's cute characters too! I totally forgot to mention to post a ref aaaa I suck.

Anyways, thank you everyone for entering! ; v; I got 28 entries which is much more than the first time I did this"

This being said, I decided to choose 2 winners last minute,,, the first winner will get a full body and the second winner will get a full body chibi as a thank you for watching me and to hoping you'll stay <3

BUT ENOUGH WITH THE MUSH! WINNER TIME!

1ST PLACE: https://gyazo.com/ee2bf4844cf1899c352650a2eb2ced8b

Congrats to !

2ND PLACE: https://gyazo.com/e5c5ad309314115bc521a4c61cab1f3e

Congrats to !


Please don't be discouraged if you didn't win! I do these raffles everynow and then so there will definitely be more!
I may even do another small request batch coming up after my comms are done!

Everyone have a great day/night! <3

And to answer my own question, just a few of my favs are Hoozuki no Reitetsu as anime; Silent Hill 3 as video game; and regular tv show- I go hard on some Masterchef tbh LOL

Trying desperately to bring my mood back up"" Check these two things out if you're interested!

Raffle: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25213177/



YCH: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25213073/

Looking to sell all these: The 3 humanoids I'm willing to see for $8. I messed up and got charged $50 for amazon prime and even though i got a refund it wont come in for 5 days :'I

I'm a fuckin idiot.

http://toyhou.se/Saccharine/charact...../folder:235983

PM if you're interested <3

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24945153/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24945153/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24945153/

I gotta stop posting so gaddamn late ;;;;;"""

If you can't purchase atm shouting this out is equally as nice ; v; / I am currently only freelancing for a bit to stabilize my health and just got my last paycheck in.
It was surprisingly a bigger than I planned amount, but I'd like to be as away from the negative as possible /sobs

Hey guys! I have a favor to ask of you guys but here's why:

My job sucks ass. It keeps getting worse and worse and it's made me physically ill numerous times. It sounds whiny but I don't think I have the willpower or strength to handle customer service in retail anymore. Due to....well, a bunch of things adding up I've decided to put my two weeks in and take a small break away from work.

I'm not being completely dumb though! I'm waiting for a call back from a company with amazing benefits that starts with a pay $4 more than the piddly amount I'm making now. However they said it may take a couple of months for them to call me back though it's a 90% chance of me getting the job- it's one of those "if you know someone that works there you're guaranteed in" kinda deals; just takes a long time for everything to process. But I've made an account there already and they did the interviews/basic stuff already, I have to wait for a spot to open up now.

Anyways, until then I think I'm gonna take it easy and freelance. The only bill I have to worry about is a loan bill coming up very soon that I actually already have the money for (thank god). It's a large chunk of money but meh, it's whatever. Other than that I'm saving up for medical things, a car, and apartment stuff.

MY QUESTION/FAVOR:

Since I want to be a lot more organized and professional I'm going to write an official TOS as opposed to the bull shit temporary one I currently have. But...I'm kinda at a loss of what all to say. So I'd like to see what you guys have to kinda get an idea of what I'm wanting to say!

If you don't mind, link your TOS here for me to view! Or heck, even some of artists you know of. I just can't really find anything specific and want to see what everyone has.
Thanks in advance if you do! <3

Hey guys, just wanted to say sorry for the spotty activity lately. I've been working on commissions and in general just tired from my part time job also. It's been a huge mess there and honestly debating just being freelance for a while til I get a call back from the company I really wanted to work at.

I've been doing a lot of art so I'll be uploading a lot of that shortly. Just wanted to let everyone know I'm not dead and sorry that I've been so silent lately. Mentally, I've been doing a lot better and even a bit socially though it's still hard to make me talk much. I'm stubborn and just,,,,,embarrassingly shy lately u//3//u"



I hope you've all been well! I'll try to be more active! <3

She came from instagram and has some of the cutest art I've seen- and they have an adoptable open as well as some cute ass pixel commissions and YCHs!

I got this perfect pixel art from them and still in love with it (NSFW): http://file.toyhou.se/images/417426.....s7j20pa9Mc.png

Hey everyone, I'm sorry I've been super spotty. Work has finally started picking up and in fact, next week is my first 40 hour week that may decide whether or not I get a promotion.

Other than that my metal state continues to shit itself and I'm left with the forever empty feeling. It's getting old...
And it's affecting my work schedule bit by bit...I've been sleeping more than anything and just feeling sorry for myself. I feel kinda...alone though I know I'm not. I feel bad that I see my friends having fun and drawing and enjoying themselves and I'm jealous of it...

But I am slowly working. Hopefully commissions will be popping out soon. Here's some updated progress:

---

TO DO:

Cloud9 YCH- sketching

PWYW sketches- coloring/finishing touches



Please look at my trello for more information: https://trello.com/b/BiayhML1/commission-list
This should have all my commissions of every kind on it, trades I will eventually finally be able to do, and everything else! There will also be wip images on it as well!

I'll post this here too just in case but I'm taking a break from commission work today for my birthday!

I turn 23 whole years old ;; v;;""""

And I still act like/look like a 14 year old oops"

You guys have a good day!

Sorry I haven't responded to anyone yet I've been really mentally drained today...

A dear friend of mine had to deactivate their account on instagram because of a hate blog that stole their art and was saying some EXTREMELY racist, trans/homophobic, and hateful things in general and of course they had to steal one of my art pieces that I had made them.

Long story short a troll turned out to be a manipulative bully that apparently knows and lives near my friend IRL. They threatened a lot of things and admitted they are only friends with my friend to manipulate them.

I've known way too many people that lost to being abused and either committed suicide or knew others that did..And I know my friend wouldn't unless something really bad came up but...they're really important to me and I just...can't help but worry.

I've looked into different laws but I'm not sure what I'm looking for exactly so I'm posting it here. If something were to happen and my friend was harmed or harassed in any way, could I, being thousands of miles away, give the police proof from the dms that happened on instagram? Like, would that be evidence enough? The person of course didn't give their name or any information about them so it wouldn't be GUARANTEED proof that it's one person in particular. But maybe they'd be able to do some deep web shit or IP tracking?? Idk. I'm just really worried and socially and mentally exhausted...I talk a big game but in reality I'm unsure of what to do in this situation other than organize a way for that friend to move in with us but that requires money that I don't have yet and they still take classes.

I don't know what to do guys...I'm just freaked out. The way they said some of the things they said was just...concerning. And my friend and I are talking it out now and trying to figure out who they knew WOULD do it but...I just feel so useless about it right now.

I'll try to build energy up enough to talk to people again though...or at least draw. My head and mind hurt so bad...fuck people.

Hey guys! Sorry I've been spotty in the last couple of days I've been having some weird intense pains in my gut that is super inconvenient and if it persists I may have to go get it checked out medically""

Anyways, I'm up and about for now and while it lasts I've taken advantage of it. I've cleaned up my trello and organized everything finally but for the lovely people who have bought art from me on here, you're going to be listed in this journal and as I work on your commission I will update it here!

This way if you notice that you have "sketching/lining/coloring" by your name and you'd like to see a wip, I'll gladly give one to you <3

IF YOU KNOW YOU HAVE BOUGHT SOMETHING FROM ME AND DO NOT SEE IT HERE PLEASE LET ME KNOW VIA NOTES. What with moving and feeling poopy lately I've lost track of my organization and I think I'm back on track but Idk man I'm a forgetful shit sometimes ; v;9

Commissions and YCHs are all still OPEN! They will be until I pay all the bills I own and have a little to keep me sane. I start my job back up on Monday but I won't have that check til the week after so that means another week with barely anything,,,, And my birthday is coming up so I'd like a little spending money"" maybe possibly,,,, I don't much care for my birthday but friends are telling me to do something to enjoy it this year so I'm gonna try"

---

TO DO:

Flirty YCH-

Flirty YCH-

Flirty YCH-

Cloud9 YCH-

Cloud9 YCH-



PENDING:

Flirty YCH








Please look at my trello for more information: https://trello.com/b/BiayhML1/commission-list
This should have all my commissions of every kind on it, trades I will eventually finally be able to do, and everything else! There will also be wip images on it as well!


If you have any questions or comments please note me or comment on this journal! <3 Thanks guys! <3

Hey everyone, I have 3 YCHs available in case anyone is interested! <3

Cloud 9: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/23748224/
Popsicle Headshots: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/23747597/
Flirty: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/23701637/

The most expensive out of all of those is the cloud 9 at only $25

I'm just trying to make some cash for my birthday at this point. I really wanted to participate in the MYO Stardragon event because I really wanted to but I'm not gonna be able to afford one this time around and I'm kinda bummed but meh. Can't do much about it ;; v;;" Even a common slot is stretching it.

But anyways there's that going on for me and I updated the to-do list on my trello so if you have something ordered from me and have yet to receive it it should be there!

https://trello.com/b/BiayhML1/commission-list

I have so much to do in so little time and I'm hoping the art block I'm getting will shut up so I can go hard on these soon. I'm so close to being done on a lot of them but I can't pushy myself and uGH. It's so frustrating. Slowly but surely"

We finally fully moved into the house, now it's just unpacking everything. Cleaning the apartment took a loooot longer than expected though!

We're both super sore and we've been asleep 90% of the time we've been alone together haha.

However, we've discovered that we owe a bit more money for bills than expected...ugh. Just $190 each but of course it's because our roommate couldn't offer that last little bit""

-facepalms-

So! I'm gonna be making some quick YCHs to do in between commissions to get that back. I only have $30 to my name right now since....I make bad choices when it comes to subscriptions and forgetting to cancel them... I have one new YCH up right here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23701637/

Please take a look and consider! Also if you'd like to help out maybe comment some things you'd like to see YCH wise? Like full bodies, chibis, sexy, cute? Bondage or vanilla? Stuff like that.

Also catching up slowly to notes and comments and hopefully will have responded to everything by tomorrow night = v=
I'm just glad the worst is behind us. I'm so excited to get fit and save money now. I feel like a real adult (Which is right on time with my bday being the 18th of this month /cRIES )

I'll answer everyone through comments and notes soon just wanted to give a small update!


Moving itself took 8 hours and there was a loooooooooot of crap"
We still technically don't have everything either ; v;" But we gotta go back Monday/Tuesday to clean everything, disconnect wifi, and turn in keys so...for now I sleep.


I actually haven't even slept in 28 hours o vo" I stayed up all night last night packing and ended up drawing for a bit too. So I'm pretty excited to finally sleep and hopefully I can.

I haven't been sleeping very well for a really long time and I'm pretty sure my insomnia is back in full force but I really hope it doesn't get as bad as it did in high school- that would be horrible...

SPEAKING OF HIGH SCHOOL!!! The other half of this journal really quick concerns a new friend and his fiance- they need big help! I won't spread the details on here but rather link you to s page where you can read up more on the issue. He's got reeeeally super cute really super cheap YCHs going on right now, literally I got a headshot and a cute chibi together for $8 and an adopt for $15. Like????? His art is so cute I really wish I could help out more and plan to later <3

I'll probably make a stand alone journal for more of this later and help the two of them out. You can also check this link out if you're feeling generous and would just like to donate <3 Help these sweet boys live peacefully together soon <3

https://www.gofundme.com/fund-to-move-out

I actually should have posted this a couple of days ago, not the night before.......

But we're moving! I'm moving back home and into my gf's family house so I can focus on building some financial stability and hopefully get enough to be mentally ok for a while"

I didn't get to save much money for when I moved up here for college so we're gonna try doing that finally and maybe end up in a small house. We'll see.

What matters most is that I'll be with <3


So that being said I will probably be AFK for a good couple of days! When I come back I'll have a commission to post and maybe some older things to post. I'll probably do some cheaper YCHs just to have a bit of cash- I don't have to go to my job til June 11 and even then I'm gonna try to find a better job in that time.

Wish me luck guys! We still haven't fully packed and we're moving the big stuff around noon oops" (Luckily I slept from 11am to 9pm so I'll be able to stay up all night = v=" )

Lately I've been finding myself struggling to keep up with social media. I want to have my work seen more which I learned in school means networking and communication but it's....abnormally hard? I mainly post on instagram and as much as I used to love IG it's just not the same now. I've been having a rough time as you guys know lately and I made a hiatus post and I mean, I got two indirects basically calling me out on being whiny. And I'm like 90% sure it was me because they're both people I used to talk to often that are salty I don't really talk to them anymore but I mean....I don't talk to anyone much anymore, I just haven't been able to lately.

But I digress.

Tumblr is almost impossible for art unless it's a specific style or you befriend artists with high follower counts. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just want to kinda keep to myself a bit.

Instagram other than what's above is also crawling in drama and art theft. Which sucks so bad bc I've made so many amazing friends on there that I love dearly.

I haven't really given twitter a chance...? I don't know how well the art community works on there and I honestly don't know how to use it.

Amino is just...awful. Full of children and I was accused of stealing my own art....twice. (???)

FurAffinity I love and I've also made great friends on here too but I just...Idk when to post or how to gain a following without doing raffles. And commissions come first- I also really need to finish my first raffle prize (bless you diski for being so amazingly patient).

DeviantArt is......oh god it's cringey most of the time and I lost a lot of respect for it a while ago because of a debate on art theft. There's also people on it that I don't want to see. And I also need to change my name on it but I don't wanna pay $15 on CORE just to do that,,,,,



I don't really want a lot of followers, definitely not that insane 10+k you see on IG because where there's a lot of people, there's a lot of hate and I'm trying to avoid that.


Basically I'm looking for a site with mostly great aspects. A place where I can talk to my friends in peace and avoid drama. Where I can post freely and not see so much negativity, Here on FA I've mostly found that but I'm also really shy and stop talking easily.

I've been in such a shitty rut lately it's hard for me to focus on loving my art and I'm thinking posting more often on anything but instagram may help but I don't know where to start.


Do you guys have any opinions?
I'm also starting a webcomic soon *hopefully* and would like to know where to start there. On tumblr, I'm afraid it won't be seen but I've heard tapastic is kinda suspicious when it comes to rights."

Links to commission types:
https://68.media.tumblr.com/bb98fab.....lieo1_1280.jpg
https://68.media.tumblr.com/3c5db11.....lieo2_1280.jpg
https://68.media.tumblr.com/bedfced.....lieo3_1280.jpg
https://68.media.tumblr.com/b98ac18.....lieo4_1280.jpg
https://68.media.tumblr.com/f9b59ed.....lieo5_1280.jpg



💞pls consider commissioning me! If you can't then passing this around would also help like crazy ;;💞 I'm opening my last round of commissions for a few months. This will be to cover my rent that's due in a few days and the rest will go to rent costs that will happen at the end of the month (27th-30th). I at least need 200 to be safe by the 5th, and then whatever else I can raise will go to the other necessities.
This list is my improved prices, they all basically went up by a couple of dollars but not much💦 everything on this list is available. The YCHS at the end are all $15 and they are flat colored, fully lined. The PWYW sketches are indeed pay what you want but at a minimum of $5 ; w; I gotta make money somehow,,, If you're interested in literally any of these please send me a dm telling me which one you'd like and I'll send more examples if you'd like and we can talk about paypal emails and details.

For now there are unlimited slots for everything. HOWEVER: the turn around can be up to 3 months just to be safe- I usually work quicker but I am going to have to pack and move and job search which will take up quite a bit of time. I will send constant updates and wips if need be though. I do still have some commissions to do now but I really can't wait any longer, I honestly should have opened these up 10 days ago...April went by too damn fast💦

Any help is much loved. Very much needed. If you'd like to donate you'll make me cry TBH but you can do so either by my ko-fi (https://ko-fi.com/saccharinesweet ) or by paypal.me/saccharinesweethell 💞

And thank you all again for your continuous support, the likes, the comments, the financial help- I'm forever indebted to your kindness and I truly appreciate everything you do for me. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this and especially if you commission me. please comment or note with questions or inquiries 💖



(taken from my ig)

Sometimes you just have to stand back and review all you've been working for and ask if it's worth it all. My biggest resolution for 2017 was to love my art again and I just haven't found it yet. All I ever do is sketch anymore, and take forever on commissions bc I just...don't like anything I do anymore? It's discouraging to see friends and fellow artists get praise and improve so drastically- yet here I am, finding it hard to pick up my pen or even get out of bed at this point. I'm so proud of them, I'm proud of anyone that works hard on what they love. But what happens when I'm working on what I just don't love anymore...?
I want to love my art again. I want to be proud of my stuff again for more than just a few hours. I want so desperately to find joy in art and have it as a job, not just a chore to do to pay bills. I want people to be in love with the stuff I draw them again...I selfishly want to be on lists of favorite artists...I just want to see my hard work pay off.

But despite friends telling me they love my art I can't convince myself... That kid that longed to see art books of Silent Hill and Final Fantasy games and dreamed to draw for games just like them would be heartbroken to see where they are at 22. All I've done is fill myself with doubt while my old classmates have their art in galleries and have this sense of pride that I worry I'll never see again... And yet I continue to struggle and not learn. What am I doing wrong? And if I were to change up how I draw who would stay with me to see it...? Or maybe it would be ultimately better than what I've been working so hard on these past few years.
They say you'll be at many losses in your 20s that you'll grow from but no one ever told me they'd be this insanely difficult to pick up and carry on from.

I'm working on owed art. Slowly, but surely. Sorry it's taking so long, I really am. I just want to be proud of it all again. I want to inspire again...

Already posted this on instagram but might as well post here to kinda explain my constant inactivity.




tl;dr I fucking hate my art and I'm at a loss so its also made me extremely reclusive. Cant even get myself to talk to any friends lately...for months. I'm unsure of what to do now...

Hey everyone <3

I took a kinda unexpected break for a little bit ::
In all honesty it was just a mental health sorta thing. I sorta broke down emotionally which messed with my art.

I did draw during that time, though and have started a lot of things. I'll end up uploading new art soon <3

I missed you guys! Hope all has been well with everyone and thank you to those that watched me in my absence ;; <3


After I get this owed trade and raffle prize done I'll open for more trades.

As of right now you can find my queue with everything owed on it riiiiight here:

https://trello.com/b/BiayhML1/commission-list


I'll also be answering comments and notes soon and opening more YCHs and commissions.

the past two days i havent touched my computer bc ive been sleeping/writhing in pain.

it just really sucks to be so broke you cant afford birth control in the one state that its "super affordable" in. like i could potentially toss $25-30 on pills for my cramps but i always consider it a luxury instead of a necessity like food. it fucking sucks.

ive had to deal with this painful shit since i was like 9 or 10. cramps so hard i literally get sick, i get fevers, pass out, throw up. i can only lay in bed miserable and hate myself for not working. heating pads, ibuprofen, ginger, etc just doesn't seem to work much anymore and its so frustrating.

anyways, i made my adopt into an OTA since no one seemed interested in buying her. if no one wants her idk, i guess the design will just be trashed or given to one of my friends.

its like...everyone says they love my character design so much but when i make adopts i get literally no interest. its actually kinda disheartening?? and maybe now's not the time to dwell bc im moody anyways but...idk it just makes me feel bad sometimes. everytime this happens i tell myself to never do it again but i never learn my lesson.

ota is here if anyone wants to offer: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/22721401/


hope you guys are having a better week than me.

I didn't realize I built so many again,,,,,,,,,,,,,, god I have 11.

Anyone want a toyhouse code? I won't ask for money, maybe perhaps just a small art if you can :'3c

Comment or note to claim one <3

I should really stop leaving for a couple of weeks and then spamming ""
Lately I've been off and on sick with a weird stomach bug. Idk if it's a possible allergy to rice, coincidence, or if it was a mild flu. I've noticed quite a few people sick with the same symptoms so I dunno what's up.

Though slowly, I have been working on art stuff and ofc will have a bunch of art to spam. To do list/what I'm currently working on in regards to Fur Affinity is:

-Sammax Tentacles YCH
-Diski Raffle Prize
-ToxicFoxCommissions Trade
-Scrib Tentacles Trade

And after that I'll start YCHs again and maybe some adopts and stuff. I do have one adopt auction going on right now for a water dragon that I had been thinking about for a week now. I reeeeally love her design but I know I wouldn't do anything with her ;;;;; If interested look here at her!: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22662346/

Anyways, I'm sorry to everyone that has tried to talk to me recently, I'll be responding to notes and comments and whatnot soon. On top of being sick I've also been fighting through some good ol' depression /sighs

Slowly but surely I'll get everything done and maybe by then like my art again.

you ever just feel like...completely empty or numb or some weird combination??? its all ive been feeling lately just this giant disassociation clouding me. ive had it for about a week but these past couple of days has been so heavy that i just...cant function???

all ive been doing is drawing in bed. not really talking, not eating much. just...existing??? and idk why its so bad- usually my depression nips me hard for a couple of days and then its all good. but idek if i can call this depression. this just feels like im not fully there. like a long ass lucid dream.

in which ive been having these super gorey horrible nightmares that have super graphic deaths. and i die in a lot of them. its like...i didnt think you could actually die in your dreams but when i do, i can feel myself stop breathing and slip away- and then i wake up.


idk man. idek why im making a journal about this really- guess just to get it out as kind of a release. and bc a few of my friends has tried to talk to me everywhere but i havent answered...this is p much why. ive barely been talking to my bae even and i live with her.


im sure i'll get over this soon and luckily it hasnt affected my art at all. bleghh, life is doots.

A friend of mine is selling these super cute moth adopts!!! Over here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22382841/

Please consider buying one because they're super cute and really not expensive at all 1, and 2 she needs some help getting out of the red in her bank account ;;;;;; I already took the third one but the other 3 are just as cute and if you get one I could draw ours together e ve

Also pls check out my bae's YCH going on right now- especially good if you like butts and really clean pretty art! <3 You can find it heeeeeeere: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22439253/