Life has sucked for the past eight years, but a new hair brush and a $2.50 bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon can really take the edge off. I'm on my way to where I want to be, it's just taking so goddamn long. I think I'll be too old to enjoy it by the time I get there. Also, my pen is huge.

I don't feel like a wuffy, anymore. I think I am turning into a kitteh. MRRRRROOOOW!!!!!!! I have been on a special carnivorous diet, which might have something to do with it. Anyway, I need to change my 'sona. It's not like I really have much of a 'sona, but I need to change it. I need to be a smexy kitteh.

Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? --- no has a facebook
Been arrested? --- no, they can't catch me
Kissed someone you didn't like? --- with tongues. alcohol ftw.
Slept in until 5 PM? --- more like 9 PM
Fallen asleep at work/school? --- yes/yes
Ran a red light? --- by accident and on purpose
Been suspended from school? --- no, just completely dismissed
Experienced love at first sight? --- yes, dammit
Totalled your car in an accident? --- yes, but not my fault
Been fired from a job? --- just laid off
Fired somebody? --- you
Sang karaoke? --- All the time
Pointed a gun at someone? --- Just a BB gun
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- ya, I never listen
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- ya, and it came out my butt too
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- ya
Kissed in the rain? --- neh
Had a close brush with death? --- ya
Seen someone die? --- no, I refuse to look
Played spin-the-bottle? --- ya
Sang in the shower? --- always makes me sound better
Smoked a cigar? --- with weed in it
Sat on a rooftop? --- several
Taken pictures of yourself naked? --- sure, why not?
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- ya
Skipped school? --- ya
Eaten a bug? --- grasshoppers taste like raisins
Sleepwalked? --- neh
Walked a moonlit beach? --- ya
Ridden a motorcycle? --- owned five of em
Dumped someone? --- kinda half-assed like
Forgotten your anniversary? --- when is it?
Lied to avoid a ticket? --- neh
Ridden on a helicopter? --- neh
Shaved your head? --- neh
Blacked out from drinking? --- ya
Played a prank on someone? --- duh
Hit a home run? --- can't even hit a tee ball
Felt like killing someone? --- so many people
Cross-dressed? --- not entirely
Been falling-down drunk? --- worse, running around on the beach, picking up cars drunk
Made your girlfriend cry? --- no way never
Eaten snake? --- what kinda snake?
Marched/Protested? --- military marched, but not hippie loser marched
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- lame. no way.
Puked on an amusement ride? --- never get sick. love crazy rides
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- taco bell
Been in a band? --- many bands
Knitted? --- i'm not a fukin old lady
Been on TV? --- i had my ten seconds of fame
Shot a gun? --- i got guns, and i shoot guns, and guns r funs
Skinny-dipped? --- can't remember. i think so. it was dark out.
Caused someone to need stitches? --- neh, i'm not violent
Ridden a surfboard? --- yessssss
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? --- duh
Had surgery? --- outpatient
Streaked? --- neh
Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- neh
Passed out when not drinking? --- ya, from dehydration, exhaustion, low blood sugar
Peed on a bush? --- like a dog
Donated Blood? --- i have given many bloods
Grabbed electric fence? --- erm, not a complete dumbass
Eaten alligator meat? --- tastes like frog
Eaten cheesecake? --- duh
Eaten kids' Halloween candy? --- duh
Killed an animal when not hunting? --- i don wanna talka bout it
Peed your pants in public? --- ya, like a month ago
Written graffiti? --- only a little
Think about the future? --- it haunts me daily
Been in handcuffs? --- oh ya
Believe in love? --- i believe in a thing called love
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- ya, the left side
Eaten lobster? --- many lobstas
Torn your pants in public? --- ya
Looking forward to The Avengers? --- eh?
Punched a sallad? --- huh?

I feel so bad that I got my cat neutered. The poor guy keeps looking at his empty ballsack like WTF, man!? I'm thinking he could use some help.



http://www.neuticles.com/ maybe?

If I were a mythical Creature...What would I be?

~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~

Centaur:

[x] You are rather wild, and let your instincts run you.
[x] You get drunk a lot.
[x] Bravery and boldness is second nature to you.
[x] You have a deep love for astronomy and the universe.
[ ] You like to read your daily horoscope.
[ ] You have a high level of pride in yourself.
[x] In the woods is the best place for you to be.
[ ] You are spiritual.
[ ] The horse is your favourite animal.
[x] You are possessive and territorial.

Total: 6

Elf:

[ ] Your ears are slightly pointed at the tips.
[x] You are very intelligent.
[x] Your five senses are extremely keen.
[ ]Your weight is quite a bit lighter than the average person at your particular height.
[ ] You always wear elegant clothes and speak as politely as possible.
[x] You are most at peace when you are gazing at something beautiful, like nature.
[ ] You look very young for your age.
[x] You rarely get sick.
[x] You are a very hard worker.
[ ] Above all other superpowers, you would love to read minds or see the future.

Total: 5

Fairy

[ ] You are happy a lot of the time.
[ ] The best superpower to you would be to fly.
[x] You are very shy.
[x] You love the forest and plant life in general.
[x] You are always willing to help others, even if you might not be the best to offer aid.
[ ] You are young and short.
[ ] Dancing is one of your favourite pastimes.
[ ] If someone ticks you off, you are very clever with getting them back.
[x] Your clothing isn't always presentable, but you are comfortable with what you wear.
[ ] Circles are a wonderful symbol of unity to you.

Total: 4

Dwarf:

[ ] You are excellent with crafts and handiwork.
[x] In social situations, you tend to be a little awkward.
[ ] You are short for your age.
[x] You are an isolated person
[ ] You love to play practical jokes on people.
[ ] You are extremely fascinated with jewellery.
[ ] You look older than your age.
[x] You love the woods and the mountains.
[ ] You are well off, or come from a family that is well off.
[ ] You have a short temper.

Total: 3

Harpy/Siren:

[x] You are best at talking bad about people behind their backs and not to their face.
[ ] When you are annoyed, you will go to a great extent to torment whoever did so to you.
[ ] You often take things that aren't yours.
[ ] You are easily angered.
[ ] Death fascinates you.
[ ] You are female, or a feminine-looking man.
[ ] You associate yourself with the wind element.
[x] You can switch quickly between your light and dark side.
[ ] You love to trick others.
[x] You have a ravenous appetite.

Total: 3

Mermaid:

[x] You love the beach more so because of the water than the shore itself.
[x] Fish are some of the most beautiful creatures to you.
[x] The ultimate superpower to you would be to breathe underwater
[ ] You enjoy looking at ships, but not riding them, as well as you like ships for travelling, not hunting in the sea.
[x] You are good at swimming.
[x] You like to collect shells.
[x] You use sea items as jewellery or decoration.
[x] You enjoy learning about the ocean and the life inside it.
[x] You are extremely against ocean pollution, and someday, perhaps (if you haven't already), you will work to stop that. [Pollution taints the fish I eat]
[ ] Legs on land are not as important as a fin in the sea.

Total: 8

Vampire:

[x] You're a night person.
[ ] You have a fascination with blood.
[ ] You are extremely pale.
[ ] You wish you had a bat as a pet.
[ ] Tight spaces are not scary or uncomfortable for you.
[x] The sun's glare annoys you all too often.
[ ] You hate food with lots of garlic in it.
[ ] To you, a kiss on the neck is more romantic than a kiss on the cheek or lips.
[ ] You don't like sharp objects near you.

Total: 2

Werewolf:

[ ] The full moon is the most beautiful scene to you.
[ ] You have a lot of body hair.
[ ] The ability to shapeshift is the best superpower to you.
[ ] You prefer gold over silver items.
[ ] You lack self control.
[x] You find it easier to have sympathy for animals than for humans.
[x] You have a deep respect for wolves and wild dogs.
[x] You like to be alone.
[x] If You have a terrible secret and you only tell people you trust 100% about it.
[x] You'd rather be outdoors than indoors.

Total: 5

Wizard/Witch:

[x] You love chemistry.
[ ] You are intuitive and good at analysing people, to the point that people seriously or jokingly say you're psychic.
[ ] The most amazing supernatural power to you is controlling the elements.
[x] You are a nature lover.
[x] You have a strong sense of responsibility.
[x] You spend a lot of time alone.
[x] You usually hang around with a certain animal all the time when you feel lonely.
[ ] You are spiritual, but not necessarily religious.
[x] Cooking is one of your favourite things to do.
[ ] You enjoy learning about Wicca and the occult.

Total: 6

Zombie:

[ ] You are pale.
[x] You are hungry a lot.
[x] Many activities you do every day make you feel mindless, or like a drone.
[x] Most of the time you or a part of you is cold.
[x] You love to eat meat
[x] You would resort to cannibalism if that was the only source of food. [I'd rather eat dirt]
[x] You make grunts and moans a lot.
[x] You usually walk slow.
[x] You are not afraid of seeing a lot of blood or getting a lot of blood on yourself.

Total: 8

Satyr/Faun:

[x] You are very passionate about the things you like.
[x] You like to get drunk and dance.
[ ] You're very amorous.
[x] You like art and music.
[x] You enjoy feasting with friends.
[x] You love nature but more for the animals then than the trees and plants.
[x] You like getting rowdy and having a good time.
[x] You laugh a lot.
[x] You love the chase almost as much as the capture.
[ ] You wish you had horns.

Total: 8


So I'm a Mermaid(man) Zombie Satyr.

All I can say is, WTF, that is so true and I can't believe this test found me out.