Got a Twitter (yeah, I know...): http://twitter.com/TenaciousDrew
Posted some new vids (check them out): http://youtube.com/user/ScalieSubstance
Also making a new FA account pretty soon (stay tuned).

Otherwise, had a job interview the other day (which went well), but still hunting.

Peace.

Okay, so this is what I wouldn't mind seeing in the next 'Avatar' film: kinda the other way around, where the Na'vi travel to Earth (like for a peace-treaty-gone-haywire, or as war prisoners) and everything gets heated up on our own world. Not that I mind Pandora, but I thought it'd be interesting to mix things up a little. Let the humans on their 'dying planet' have a taste of alien culture/religion and vice versa, as well as their own brutality and potential simultaneously.

Anyone else think that'd be pretty cool?

Well guys things have been interesting as of late to say the least. My mate and I met up with some old friends and made some new ones at Rocket City FurMeet the other week, and had a lot of fun in general, that is until the very last moment when I found out that my kitten Cera had gone missing back in T-Town, so we decided to pack up and leave the very last night of the con to attempt finding her. With no luck, no matter how hard we looked nor how many people we asked or fliers of her we put up, UNTIL just yesterday when a random dude (bless his soul) found and returned her, which was a huge relief to everyone. However my oldest pet fish Cory the Corydoras unexpectedly and accidentally passed away yesterday as well so we're going to bury him out in the pasture sometime very soon (he will be surely missed). Other than that I'm going to be getting a job, saving up for things we need (and want), continuing on my soul journey and taking each day for as it is without taking them for granted. Flamezorz over and out.

EDIT-

This is mein Cera: http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos....._4443693_n.jpg

And this is a taste of RCFM 2010 (Corsi is officially branded for life): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJaD4GV0zcY

During the past few weeks I've been able to slowly but surely recognize, accept and attempt to fix certain problems and issues that I have. For example I've come to terms with being lazy but attention-seeking as well as 'eccentric' and even insecure, and still very immature, in some aspects. I took criticism and other things way too personally, which only led to pointless anger and misunderstandings. I kept waving at opportunities as they passed by and not even realizing it until it was too late. Same with thinking about myself more than others, which I now regret. Not trying hard enough to get a job and save my mate from so much stress... that's a big kicker in the balls, believe me. I want to change myself, which, like a good friend of mine once said, takes understanding, but it also takes effort... something I seriously have to work on acquiring more of. So yeah, I've got the answers, and now the hard part is setting them in motion... but it's gotta happen soon or I know I'm going to regret it in the long run. Perhaps I'm finally finding my way back onto the right path that I need to be on. Wish me luck. Blessed be...

Happy Beltane! lol

In other news someone got his good stamps recently ;3
It makes things so much easier ♥

I don't have much memory of it, but I think this pretty much depicts it down to a T: http://images.elfwood.com/art/s/h/s.....grey_adult.jpg

About that small, too. Whatever it was, it could move fast and I can't really remember its face (it was probably that traumatic). As I said before I remember making eye contact for some time until I heard my mom call me out of the room, and that's when everything went completely pitch black for a few minutes (she said I looked calm and somewhat 'dazed').

Maybe it was a Grey, or a Faerie. Maybe it was something else entirely. If anyone has any ideas or comments, feel free to share them. Peace.

Then again, every day is an Earth Day to me, but still :3

So ever since my third eye activated last winter, a lot of shit has been going down. Two physical and good-sized dots have appeared in that area of my head, even though that area has been sensitive for years now. I think I can 'sense' things from 'the other side' (and even the future) somewhat better than I could before, and I think I'm starting to recall nostalgic 'memories' and feelings from the past, in this life and/or the one(s) before (like involving surreal forests and mystical creatures). If this is all part of the real deal... things are going to get interesting.

May you chill in peace ;3

That's right, Kashi and I have been mated for 2 years now :3 Yip Yip Hooray! Hehe...

On a calm night in April of last year, 2009, two of my friends and I saw something that we'll never forget. At least, I won't. We were down in an urban ravine, just hanging out and talking like friends do. I was the first one to look up and, in awe, see the unidentified flying object. I couldn't tell you how large or high up it was. All I know is that it was humongous, completely silent, and cruising slowly yet stealthily. Its five (I think), somewhat luminous lights made its shape out to be triangular or boomerang-like in nature, although the craft itself seemed to be cloaked. The whole spectacle lasted approximately ten to fifteen seconds until it just vanished. One of my friends later told me that he felt like he was being watched when it flew by. My other friend simply dismissed it as either a skein of geese, a weather balloon or swamp gas. But I know what I saw, and I'm sure that it wasn't either of those things, especially since another witness told me that three helicopters, "two 'regular,' and one black," were scouting the area soon after the UFO had disappeared.

Something that holds on to the edges of my memory is an occurrence that happened to me when I was just a little kid. I remember being in my baby/toddler room and seeing...something non-human on my bed, or between it and the wall. I don't remember what it exactly looked like but it was whitish and seemingly trying to play peek-a-boo or something with me by bobbing it's head/body up and down...maybe something else was going on, I don't know. All I know is that when I heard my mom call me from the other room everything went black. I asked her a few months ago if she remembered that situation...and she said she did. She said I looked calm and somewhat dazed when I went to her and she said I told her that I saw something in my room. She said when we went back to my room she saw nothing out of the ordinary...but still it feels like she may be keeping something from me.

This is the best way I can depict what I saw at the moment: http://i579.photobucket.com/albums/.....ns90/THING.jpg

Anyway, tell me what you think.

I think I feel them. I have a job interview on Thursday @ 4pm, and next week I'm applying for my GED and food stamps. By the end of the month or mid-April at the very latest I should finally be where I need to be, just in time to raise Cera...though its mother and 3 of its siblings will need other good homes as well. Things are finally starting to look up...FINALLY!

"Ever wish you could freeze frame a moment in your day, and look at it and say, 'This is not my life'?" -Robin Williams

You could say that. I've come to a few revelations recently. First off, I believe that I have more potential than what I'm currently showing. Secondly, I really do have the best mate in existence, but I already knew that... I think that I could be a bit more appreciative in general, though. Thirdly, several of my local friends seem two-faced about our friendship a lot of the time, which causes me to become skeptical and even apathetic about things as well. Probably the best thing I can do for now is to actually knuckle down and get in business, literally... to concentrate only on my and Dragon's needs and just get everything important done - that includes helping pay bills, getting my GED and driver's license, a job, steady income, back in shape, and eventually a car or truck. I just want to help make life easier for everyone so I really need to put more serious effort into making what I say a reality. Until then... peace out guys.

It's one of my biggest dreams that still has yet to come true. What can I do to help make it happen? I only found this: http://www.petitiononline.com/ok420/petition.html

Let's name some great reasons why I enjoy getting high, shall we?
It helps with chronic pain and anxiety, inspires spiritual awakening and enlightenment, and... let's face it... the effects are downright Fuckin' A.
These are a few interesting quotes I just came up with:

"Perceiving 'other dimensions' is only perceiving perception itself."
"Déjà vu is a personal, spiritual message from your higher self for a related purpose when the experience is appropriate."
"Truth is real. Perception is illusion. Let go of perception and embrace the random. Then you will see that the truth is but a void where fantasy can grow."
"The universe does not care, only the self."

So, my mate, roommates and I are pretty much settled into our first apartment. Only things we need are a couple more sofas and we're good to go. My health has been mostly on the upside lately, though I still experience abnormal sensations from time to time. 'Avatar' is my new favorite movie of all time and if you haven't seen it, do so damn it! Other than that and a hot gay threesome, everything's pretty much been the same. Still job searching and going with the flow, learning how to paint with all the colors of the wind. Until my next update, peace out.

I think I've been getting somewhat better! The pain/pressure doesn't seem to be that intense anymore. I'm able to eat more without my body freaking out and I've been drinking only water for the past week or so, plus I've been staying away from cigarettes and alcohol. I'm also not as physically sensitive to certain things like I was during everything. I sure hope this keeps up... ^.=.^

Thanks again to my mate, family and friends who care for staying by my side through this hell. It really means a lot to me.

The past week since last Friday night has been horrible. I've got this very uncomfortable pain/pressure in my chest/heart/stomach that just won't go away. Other things I've been experiencing are breathing complications, stress and anxiety (which makes everything even worse), restlessness, lightheadedness, dry heaving, frequent tingling and numbing sensations, sensitivity to music by itself and sometimes being driven, etc. I've already been to the hospital and doctor once about this but nobody can seem to figure out what's happening to me exactly. I've tried vinegar and certain antacids to see if the problem was heartburn/acid reflux, but neither helped. My parents and mate have been taking care of me. I'm just so very worried and scared right now... Does anyone have any idea of what's going on with my body?

There's something that, even secretly, scares all of us. I don't know what lies beyond it, whether it be another dimension, heaven, reincarnation, resurrection, or nothing at all. Every choice I make, and every cigarette I smoke, draws me near it. My mother herself is very close to it. That thing is what we call death.

I'm afraid to not wake up when I go to sleep. I'm afraid to die in general. Perhaps this is something that only people who are at the brink of death truly understand. Perhaps not. We all enclose secrets and lies while still alive. We don't cherish every single breath we take before the end. We don't want to think about this subject. Why? Is it because it's unpleasant? Or does it involve another reason entirely?

Hypocrisy is something that no human can avoid. But the song "Lateralus" may very well have a point when embracing humanity's potential. Maybe not. I guess it's up to all of us...

If you're wondering if I've gone insane, I haven't. I'm just trying to be realistic. I drank, watched the first and original "The Land Before Time" while listening to the psybient band Entheogenic, and contemplated on my mom's fate. Everything is so confusing and frightening. My only question is this: why can't we understand it?

1. Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend?


2. How did you two meet?
FA back in Nov. '07; went out on our first date in Dec. '07

3. When did ya'll officially start dating?
Apr. 9, '08

4. Did you meet online?
Yuppers!

5. What attracted you the most to him/her?
His personality ^.=.^

6. Is he/she what you expected?
My Dragon is always full of surprises ^.=.~

7. Did you have sex on your first date?
Nope; our first time was out in his pasture, not too long after he asked me to be his mate -^.=.^-

8. Are you two freaks in bed?
Ohh yeahh...

9. Do you live with them?
We're moving into our own apartment this week, along with a couple of furiends, yay!

10. Are they snugglers?
Yup!

11. What was the last compliment they gave you?
That I'm the only person he would ever want to be mated to and marry -^.=.^-

12. How long have you been dating?
A little over 20 months ^.=.^

13. Would you spend the rest of your life with them?
Forever and always ♥

14. When will you see them next?
With the exception of work, we're pretty much always together ^.=.^

15. What interests do you share?
Guns, airsoft, martial arts, anime, movies, music, humor, footpaw fetish *giggles*

16. Is there something you regret?
What good relationship doesn't have its regrets?

17. What was the last thing he/she gave you?
His cock.

18. What was the last thing you gave them?
My snout.

19. Are they willing to sacrifice for you?
Yes, and I would for him also. Kashi is by far the best mate in the whole universe ♥

20. Have they given you a ring?
He's waiting for the right time -^.=.^-

Music: Dream Theater's 'Endless Sacrifice'
Scenes: The Land Before Time IV, VI, VII, X, and XII

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMoZNrKfVxQ
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJTrgODnXjY

So, I'm sick, and I had another weird dream just a couple of hours ago. Here goes...

Remember the woods in the last dream I talked about in 'Into hiding'? I was back. This time, though, I wasn't running from the inoculations... I was running from ultramodern dictatorship. What's funny but still rather disturbing is that Joann, a friend of my mother, was the dictator. Her military 'henchmen' were trying to capture and bring in everyone they could for 'branding'. When I saw them, I ran, through the same wilderness as before and towards the same lonely motel. Along the way, I met up with two younger boys who were also on the run, and we decided to team up. However, a handful of henchmen caught up with us near an A-frame. They decided to play a brief psychological game of terror by seemingly pretending to not take notice of us. Without thinking, I lunged towards one of them with a knife, throwing it into his chest, only to have another one stabbed into mine simultaneously. With blood pouring from my wound, I saw the henchman take the knife out of his own body without a trace of any blood or pain, revealing that he was part machine. One of the younger boys was then killed... I don't know the other one's fate. This leads on to 'Scene Two'.

Next thing I knew, I was at an assembly filled with citizen prisoners, military henchmen and Joann herself. I even saw Kashi and Sir Raiu for a brief moment. During a totalitarian speech, I went over to Raiu and he gave me a mysterious letter. He told me to quickly hide it, and to never let Joann or any henchman read it. I obeyed. After it was safe in one of my pockets, Joann and a few of her men came up to me, asking if I was in possession of my 'verification card'. I reached into another pocket and pulled it out to show her, only to find out that my 'PIN' was not the same as the one on her list. I tried to bribe and suck up to her, which apparently worked, because she took the check, told me that everything would get worked out and left. Terrified, yet relieved, I also realized that I had a few bottles of illegal alcohol in my backpack, which I had with me. This leads on to 'Scene Three'.

It was the next morning, and I was staying at Joann's home... which was actually my mom's place in reality, so I knew my way around. Joann was gone at the time, but a few of her house servants were there. They didn't strike as a threat to me, and so I planned to make a daring escape. Mistakenly leaving my backpack near the back door, I decided to take a quick shower. While doing so, I heard the faint sounds of the back door opening and Joann speaking. Panicking, I got out of the shower, dressed and into the hallway. I didn't see anyone present, so I made my way towards the back door. My backpack was gone. Then, I heard a voice from behind me in the kitchen say, "Looking for something?" I turned around to see the dictator and some of her men standing around a familiar but empty backpack on the floor, my alcohol on the counter and the letter... nowhere to be found. Knowing that I was surely going to be executed, I decided to try doing the most fucked up thing you could ever imagine: defying reality. This leads to the final scene.

I was suddenly in the apartment I'm staying at IRL, and Joann revealed her true form: Rasi. Realizing that he was losing control and power over me, I decided to take advantage of the situation. I asked him if he had drugged me this whole time, and he said that he had. I asked with what, but he suddenly denied it. Back in control of my own mind, I glared at him. Defeated, Rasi sat back down on the couch and began to eat potato chips while watching TV. I then woke up.

Fin.

Music: Dream Theater's 'Endless Sacrifice'
Scenes: The Land Before Time IV, VI, VII, X, and XII

http://furry4life.ning.com/video/lb.....less-sacrifice
I know, I'm a n00b.

Today, I had the most disturbing nightmare I've had in a while...

From what I can remember, some of the dream started out in my mate's pasture, but I can't remember what happened. I do, however, remember the next part. You know how, in dreams, setting, and even time and age can get mixed up? Well, I was my age in real life as well as a bit younger simultaneously, and I was back at my old elementary school for some reason. I was at one of their assemblies in the auditorium, along with a lot of other schoolmates, staff and 'guests of honor' including a high school rock band. I was one of the main speakers at the assembly, but like in all dreams, crazy shit started happening. Sound distortion, a game involving music and a double arrow, and then... the bad stuff. In the dream, just like in reality, I believe that I was beginning to be made fun of by certain people on the stage while the assembly was still in progress, and so I wittily replied back using the word 'goddamn' in my sentence. Some people laughed and applauded, while others looked horrified. Then, I heard a never-ending scream inside the auditorium. I think that it came from a child, but then more screaming began, from both inside and outside. Everyone started moving out of the huge room, seemingly in somewhat of a panic, and that's when I saw the first military group run by. I ran. I knew what was happening. I had to get out of there. I ran outside into the playground, which turned into Oklacon's vast wilderness mixed with Kashi's pasture again. I saw several, several buses parked all over the place. A certain Hispanic girl had the balls to follow me. She suggested that we stay in one of the A-frames for the time being, but I knew that that wasn't a good idea. I grabbed her hand and we ran faster, through the wilderness and the swampy areas and the cliffsides, trying not to look back. Eventually we got near a motel of some sort. I found out that she was 16 and that she was just afraid as I was. We ducked down behind a fence when we saw all the buses leave on the street we were next to. A car with bright headlights and bad vibes pulled into the hotel driveway. I protectively held her down next to me while I closed my eyes. The last thing I remember was thinking about my dragon...

(Note: The alleged forced H1N1 inoculations and concentration threats were the main instances in the nightmare)