Contains malaysian language, dont give a fuck

Genuinely having a hard time focusing and it isnt the lack of trying nor drugs but really constant disturbances from too loud fuck surau that isnt even near here ye it as loud and my desktop speakers going deaf mode (these isnt your cheap ass desktop monitors I went for the mid range but good stuff with QUAD 2.5" drivers 45W). I already installed mitigation method early this june that range of 15min just to cover the time span of the fucking loudspeaker BS but no the damn thing shift to take nearly the whole hour and I'd bet they shift more through the year. soundproof audiophile gear are expensive as fuck and there are HOLES in this poor excuse of a house and I NEED to go out so lock up inside a sound proof room/casket isnt the idea choice.

Nor is leaving since more and more fuckwad surau operators are installing MULTIPLE loudspeakers up high too so every bumfuck in this god damn can hear this for everyday 5 times a day 5 minutes or more and unsynchronized mess ESPECIALLY AT 6AM OF ALL TIME. Had friends who had air raid sirens instead of church bell to signify time and those thing only dig dong or wail for like less than a few seconds and on people actually awake time, and I actually take the air raid siren trade over the god damn surau operators,

And the arrest warrant still active so I cant fucking go anywhere near one and already tired tell them nicely to TONE DOWN. cant just sue the Mufti or the whole country with enough funds to leave the country, and hey they probably should pay me to leave the country that's what exactly that wanted with their legal racism here(there's a video floating around on yt back an aug 31, hope it's not taken down, also they actively want to get rid if minorities convert natives BS)

This all could've been avoided if I dont know only mosques can have the loud fuck loudspeakers and suraus is only for room praying and hell all these push to modernize the country by handicapping everything to a fucking phone app why not modernize praying too, you know a phone app or even GOD DAMN RADIO to announce praying times instead of a god damn loudspeaker AT 6AM.

Honestly if I gone deaf years/decades down the line I AM going to blame the fuck heads and their surau and the only regret is existing HERE of all places in the first place

I know there's a handful of you guys commissioned me, and I am asking because one of my client is having issue with processing payment and it have delayed work for the whole week (gonna be a blank week cant you tell?) but question is how many of you had processed payment with me via eCheck and how many used card as I suggested when your paypal wallet isnt enough, got a feeling it isnt a me only issue can it since locally banks here dont really support paypal, only way to pay is card withdraw if wallet isnt enough and GIRO account number to deposit back to local bank, eCheck should only work/linked to my paypal instead ....

Okay issue start with first noticing a bulge on my UMPC my so call netbook when I'm away/dont have to be tethered to my main PC and something light work less art more email messaging writing etc kinda of work, basically the battery is starting to gone spicy pillow and at first it was okay but recently it starting to kick the sliding screen uneven means the battery needs to be changed SOON, threre's also the issue with the keyboard backlight stopped working, basically alot of repair job OR a new unit that maybe better ie clamshell, but comms been thin this month and I am a few hundred(thousands local) less for my saving for an upgrade thus I will break in the reserves amount .

Only issue, the reserves bank account had the WORST banking app of all time, basically it had the stingiest requirements down to "automatic clocked" and actually above perfect internet connection, suffice to say I cant break reserves so I do need money somewhere else ideally-unideally paypal to my main bank instead of THIS shitty reserve bank app through all these shit to my main bank account.

I genuinely fucking HATE HATE these shitty banking app REQUIRE! you us use linearly the LATEST android OS, this phone is just 2 years old and it's already 2 OS behind what do you mean I cant use this fucking phone to authorize payment to buy a better phone. Things used to be simple easy to use and doable back then, just login to bank account on PC no need latest browser make transaction, and either email notif or SMS to approve payment THEN DONE!

effectively I am not making enough through paypal, i either need more comms or more patrons, and if I gauged enough interest then fine my email to paypal to receive donations, though I dont know how to redact important info yet on that.

I will let the spicy pillow bomb to blow up IN my face then not really have a UMPC at the moment because fucking android environment is just terrible man even on the best branch you';re still heavily locked down and out.

so an adopt that has no bids is currently adopted and though bidding was paused for the duration, it recently got a bid and it be claimed till the gavel strike 3 times x ~24hr, link here to check out the design
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60.....#cid:186032924
so if you want a cut of the pie be sure to get it soon, I might make a new linked post but only ONCE, I'll delete the duplicate once bidding is done,
last reminder is that it would be only a sketch till it exceeded the "usual rate" threshold 85usd, then I can fully render the piece either your choice of pose and only for this one, the presketched pose if you like it

Edit: added bid time duration

So yeah with FA down you guys probably want to keep up with my stuff since most of my follow base are here(?) anyway, just finish the 2nd part of my bunnygirl aero so check it out on: https://bsky.app/profile/scn3null.b...../3lobquy2dcs2r . One thing extra I did for this piece is that there's a patreon exclusive version that's more inline with what I initially planned in the sketch except a bit more effort with a "lazily rendered night/strip club background" instead of the usual Emblem background.

Another note I've opened my early may's poll so yeah anyone can vote now, give it a look and if the patreon membership pricing seems fair please join in to as I mentioned earlier, there's exclusives and actually ONE patron got their commission discount applied which is nice, poll link: https://www.patreon.com/posts/127517988

no new uploads today? though I'm seeing stuff on front page and yesterday after FA got back I see a page of stuff or so,

welp guess a reminder of my other prfiles,
NG: https://scn3null.newgrounds.com/
Bsky: https://bsky.app/profile/scn3null.bsky.social
Patreon (there's exclusives and polls!): https://www.patreon.com/c/user?u=81624544

https://www.patreon.com/posts/125453212
Still have "too much" idea on the table need someone to "slim them down" and who's better than paid patrons to kept me aflot least the best they can, but hey I recommend new member join to to cast their votes too there's even a 1USD tier for starters/if 3USD is still too much.
and I might have to start taking back my words for some of the poll entries will have patron exclusive nudes, also Ukr F-16 dakimakura pinup(still kinda too soon from last piece), AND a web fishing themed full scene. Think these are enough incentive to get more people to join maybe?

So been waiting between clients, unfortunately there's also no new comms between the two waits and I didnt really start another project for the time, instead I brought up old failed comms with designs in them to make a resketch of the "design reference" and make them more in time with how I make my design references. In short I've made several adopts available through patreon first then by the weekend I'll set'em loose here and bluesky. Patrons gets first dibs and discount so link to post: https://www.patreon.com/posts/1st-w.....opts-124211681, be seeing there.

Edit link fixed

usual shitz another week another week of me being useless + stunned due to loudspeakers disturbing sleep, wont dell more on then till I finally snap really soon nothing helps this nation just has bullshit policies and hypocrites,

MORE important news, I started a poll on patreon yes I have that why everyone keep skipping on that fact, but yes there might be a few more comms here to finish but poll is to vote on my next project when I get the free time, here's the "preview " of the lists, (REDACTED armor up, F-16 aero ukr intercept, aeromorph bunnysuits, REDACTED Helldive) this isnt the full lists but for further description please head there and pledge I've opened a 1USD tier I dont know can I get it any lower but the vote is only open to patrons, no time limit but I'll check when I got the time to work on personal project, why am I making this journal well comm is a full scene and it taking multiple weeks to finish, it's near finish but it wont be done to this weekend's upload bus this this update since last week a blank week too.

Patreon poll post right here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/122328977?pr=true

hey since FA added a block list, you guys got any tags to add to my piece that you guys recommend or just noticed that I havent add just let me know alright? I want thistag block to work no issue on your end

It's already 2025 in the east, however I dont feel so jolly, hell as the years go by I still have no able to start my life and at this point nearing my 30s I dont feel like starting either I'm already way behind socially. This does not help the fact my godamn nation keep dragging my kind on the floor constantly and for me particularly been denied good sleep for fucking years with a solved problem that they refuse to use the solution for just for keeping their "authenticity".

I'm not thinking straight again I dont care, would've been better if I was allowed to spread my wings but no I kept being dragged back, held back to at the point I dont have any long term dream to chase anymore and now I'd really rather to be not exist in the first place with all the waster effort and resource used. Always wanted to migrate to the US/Canada UK(not anymore) and my top preference Ireland, english speaking, held western individualism ideal strong, greener pasture effectively. Sure I defiantly needed help and guide to get there, had a bachelors degree to boot to least get in a decent engineering career. But no, told that dream is too out there stay in the country get a job but they're always too far and to get there, required a car that always stuck in traffic on top of unhealthy crunch and work hours.

Suffice to say I just gave up, while staying here things just keep getting worst and worst, dont even feel safe leaving the house, not for myself no but my house and belongings there's always some unknown trash thrown into our ward and last month MY house got fined because someone littered in front of our house, open trash bags with contents of product this household NEVER used. That's how unsafe this neighborhood are not to mention the terrible placement and the air is always "smokey" after hours. Cops would've been useful but I dont trust those dipshits anymore, y'all already remember the whole arrest warrant debacle, suffice to say whatever momentum I have with giging were just gone, I dont trust cops, I dont trust priests, I dont trust local politicians, I dont trust anyone local anymore.

Fam kinda had me to see "rehabilitator" instead of a therapist or A LAWYER, ANYONE for the (yes) ongoing issues, but I starting to doubt more it wasnt for their promised "resolve the current issue" and just get me out where I do feel I will be a danger to society as I can very close to snapping at everything.

What I was venting about this whole time? ah yes, life suck gonna suck more, wish I werent here, tldr,
<<the sapling is starting to root, it is dying, it is under a deep shade and the soil quality is SHIT>>

aight i'm not too impressed with my yearly earnings vs spending this year after compiling the excel sheet on top of many unpurchased spares I need for repairs and almost no upgrades, doesnt help the whole arrest warrant and inability to sleep then inability to work properly that's been going since then,

Through that whole time I'm genuinely not happy with patreon activity had a buncha plans that I never implemented because I'm just not motivated. so I've folded, a new 1USD tier been opened surely it's better to get 200 1usd tier than just a few 25usd tier pledgers for whatever the saying was with patreon, only issue I didnt start with 1usd cause that petreon keeps nagging creators to set 3usd minimum and enforced that by having higher cut to them than to creator for anyone taking that tier, I mean yeah they need to keep ther servers running, customers support etcetc, counterpoint they already take a cut of any tier cept maybe more fairly? idunno I'll see if anyone get this memo.

Exactly this https://x.com/RhinozzCode/status/18.....52951768494326,

it's called consent and tw-actually X now is gonna take everything posted there by force now, actually glad I've started to put watermarks on my public works, but jeasus lotta older works are not watermarked I might have to delete them but they probably have a backup in their server, piece of shit really and I already barely use it except posting other platform profiles but those constantly fell of deaf ears.

oh yeah while I'm doubleing duty with side projects I'll open comms this weekend first come first served but still limited slots so pick up quick

this gonna happen here too, ha fuckwads. I kinda called it joining BRICKs is a flag maybe red that the country is going authoritarian and keep neesing news article of our PM shaking hand with putin and joining BRICKs the worst just showed up and our "elected" communication(?) minister issuing DNS blocking soon which means most western sites might be blocked soon so fuck my life and existence I guess should hag my self cause I really do feel I dont want to see what the fucking next day might bring, I'm effective jobless now anyway stopped taking comms all that.

Some malaysians still need explaining what DNS blocking is but alot of furry are already IT experts so I dont tattle more here, basically I'm screwed many way ways, in life and now in net too good job for bringing me into THIS world, And mind you I still have not gotten enough sleep on the fucking daily I keep forgetting shit, I might not die from sleep deprivation and I sure as hell do feel like diying more now, scribbling red lines nor ice paining isnt doing any of the tricks I want a knock out blow I cant wake up from anymore

this gotten really suicidal but what it feels like, when there's no where to go off is the better option.

You heard the news, I wont repeat it, but I have my bit to add to it, I've properly joined FA at the tail end of FA being buy back for the OG owner, I actually do not truly understand what is going on and I had heard some say i might not be a financially sound decision but it's a bit of a symbol to me that this place isnt suppose to be run by some corpo mass public shill this is a community run place and even when the head honcho gone we should still keep it alive one way or another. FA is one of a few sites I actually kept ad block off, there's actually ads to furry game and merch I do like and had bought from.

As for the title on the journal,
My usual profile links:
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scn3null.bsky.social
New grounds: https://scn3null.newgrounds.com/
Might not actually recommend pixiv/asian japanese hardto navigate and content may be triggering to western audiences
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=81624544 (mostly paywalled no watermark full res(?) content but the tittle still could give hint what I'm cooking)
wow, I actually lost this much platform?

As for comms, it might take longer than I expected to repoen that and worst thanks to my mom exaggerating my "illnesses" if all go so catastrophically comically wrong I might end up in a mental ward so _fun_. it might take several visits and then a lawyer to actually close that unlawful arrest warrant, actually there is a plea for case dismissal here but no one in this household know how to use that.

I'm also opening discord friend request BUT you have to DM me for it(I'll do a background check on you), actually same for email if you're planning to comm me in the future but I recommend you keep that off grid(writ it on a paper)

ONE MORE THING!
though I'm lazy and it might take a while for me to actually make an "official" esix account, think most of my public works are open to be archived/reposted on there instead, incase more platform gone too hard to use or just the general dying of the internet as we're witnessing today, toodles

Edit:
one last thing I forgot (again lack of sleep) whether this site stay afloat or robbed of it's former glory by some techbro/corpro miner I might stay till the very bitter end unless whoever controls it does something too stupid like banning general furry art(?) or just letting AI scalp everything, I will burn bridges.

Still on communication blackout(see "previous issue") here but still worst of all I caught some herpes like virus issue last week, herpes like because I have almost no contact with anyone who have herpes AND I have not bought anything online for the better of the month now.

Still on anti viral medication now those seemed to help previous anti biotics is just ruining my GI which what my first diagnosis suspect and got me in for, still taking to finish course. But yeah Was suppose to actually be able to do something with unable to sleep for the past months but sickness prevented that just another thing my life likes to fuck over any actual progress.

Basically my life still sick I got sick because of it and fuck my life again, and I still need sleep. oh yeah comms still closed, I should update fron tpage on this

comm still closed btw

Alright all these time offering straight up "I'll design you a morph frame dont worry" there are times I'll get a handful of rejected designs and sometimes pose along with those frame and I wonder, "how do I recoup from these" answer is obvious BUT, I dont know how to properly to sell these, they are in the form of a sketch mostly exploded form or just basic angled front A pose with split components/accessories, examples:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachme.....fcdb882a68&;
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachme.....a8cfe29958&;

I'm actually too tired to "finish" these so wanted to sell them as sketch so you guys could get other artist to finish these, got a hand full but for now they're part of the 25USD pricing for designing but that's the reduced cost of the "combo service" with my commission, so I wanna charge bit more but not too much, not above 45-50USD at least but no lower than 25 etcetc.

I'll check comments for suggestions and maybe on every blank weeks I'll put up these on public for claim as is.

By any chance you manage to scratch your phone's base screen without a glass protector because phones these days come with both curved edge display and all screen body display thus there' no good clear glass protector that'll fit on your phone, and worst it got the deepest scratch from a earbud drop on it, the earbud didnt even have any sharp edge and only had a magnesium/aluminium back housing.

So you look for way to cover the scratch but everyone on the fucking internet still saying toothpaste still works on gorila glass the shit on everyphone but no, it diesnt just doenst work but also ruins your oleophobic coating. What's oleophobic coating you ask, ever feel that your phone's screen is smoother and doesnt stain up as easily as glassware glass or home window/deco glass? that's oleophobic coating doing the job, it mean oil repelent, everyone has oily hand and everyone is glued to their phone so having that on your phone or even any electronic devices is a no brainier, it keep your phone cleaner plus it protects the screen from other things.

So now my phone is sticky to the feel and still have a few deep scratches light grooves at lv6 and deeper grooves at lv7 my ass, could get those DIY oleophobic kits BUT most of the one I could fine locally are the trash massproduiced ali express ones, getting it to a shop isnt ideal eitehr casue the process said to take hours and even a coating is applied it'll never be as good as factory anymore, why the fuck is everything ten fucking layer complicated.

I bought the phone brand new at nearly 1k usd why cant they also have a fitting glass protector in their inventory too could've prevented all of this. I'm just so fucking tired.

Tittle but it was the most bull crap authenticate system ever like just take the phone number but no, I'm trapped in some AI training bull crap and what's worst if I get _one_ wrong the number of question grow from fucking 10 to god dam 15 and then if I refuse more it grows to fucking 20 and then even more, twitter site sucks just let me authenticate with a god damn phone number or email god damnit

okay maybe not just another phone, I am using a Nokia 3.1(TA-1063) and it should have VoLTE everyone who had the same model have that working no issue, not me, carrier kinda used a stupid band of 4G that my phone may not support for VoLTE so I'm in a way have to get a newphone, and I actually wont settle for cheap 170mm++ phone(real me, red me, oppo, vivo[actually the same company]]) that's too big for my tiny hands, stead I got something more reputable asus zenfone 9 that's under 150mm more company should make optional small phones it's good for the environment, sadly it's a 8/256 with no sd expansion and it's cost just as much as the listed price in USD, so I need to work work work again.

tittle and linky, it's empty rn and I dont really feel like reupping old stuff maybe a few of my OC stuff but that's it

linky: https://bsky.app/profile/scn3null.bsky.social

really odd URL I really hate the app this app that mentality people have these days
oh yeah and commission is empty so hit up soon I have a buncha groceries I need buying soon else there's patreon I already gave preview on a thing I'm cooking and if you want me to finish that please pledge

just witnessed two family funerals, three total this year, both of my grandparents are gone plus one uncle, normally this is depressing but it's more frustrating as all the ceremonial stuff can drag on for months and usually for funerals and relative dying, I just want thing to just pass on and things to return to a new status quo.

this does make me question my mortality, like who's next, what happens to their stuff, what if these happens to me these sorts of thing, and the annoying part of "the cost of death" not cause as I already know I'm genetically weak (anything can kill me), everything from funeral to ash urn placement at a temple always costly and these is an option to skip all that, it's taboo to relatives who dont agree, I mean I'm still on the bottom of the generation chain every one just disregard everything I say, most of the time get dragged in to these events.
Just a minor delay on commissions I did download some work progress on a new mobile computer, but the lack of a mouse and the bulk of a carrying the tablet makes progress less than optimal. I have a few more "death and car ride" rants in the future

my best dog just died, I wont add too much, I just want a few days/week to mourch and re evaluate on my future again it's not looking bright, so for those who's eager to commission me just note up but please wait for a while till my mood gets better

nothing much there for now but if I'm gonna be serious for making more art and taking commission I gotta need stable income if it werent from a 9-5

PATREON: https://patreon.com/user?u=81624544