that I'm never around u guise

and I'm especially sorry to my new watchers

just in advance

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l.....1ay9o1_500.png


I am not even remotely funny and I don't know why this shitty photoshop is making me laugh

So there’s this place called Kronos by my house where I go for delicious gyros all the time. The only problem being that they have just beef - no lamb, the sweet baby flesh of the gods. I ask for lamb every time, just in case. It’s a super Greek place, owned by people straight outta Crete. My brother and I walk down there for his first time ever and he orders up two beef gyros. Suddenly…

Kostas (Owner): Where are you from?

Chris: Uh, I’m from Chicago.

Kostas: No, where in EUROPE are you from?

Chris: How did you… uh, Munich, in Germany.

Kostas: My wife is from Germany. I can tell, you have accent. I give you lamb gyro.

AND THAT MOTHERFUCKER GAVE CHRIS A DISCOUNTED LAMB GYRO. WHAT IS THIS SHIT. I ASK EVERY GOD DAMN TIME.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l.....3iz9o1_500.jpg



but my GOD if it's not a thing of beauty I don't know what is

I love you




lots of homo

don't ask me because I honestly don't fucking know

regular night

Anyone have experience with it?

I happen to be of a notoriously insusceptible brain, so I'm questioning my downloading of this library.

WERE YOU AWARE THAT DUDLEY FROM HARRY POTTER GOT HOT???

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l.....1ay9o1_500.jpg

when mc chris starts following you on tumblr after you've made 294889357 posts about like, kidnapping him and making him your cuddle/nerd rap slave

oh fuck

oh shit

that my work shorts and my anal sex with hot women shorts are one and the same?


I think not

I legitimately just made plans to don full Fett garb and walk around town with two plainclothes friends

this is my life

You know how I've been talking about my tattoo fund?

WELL I just mentioned it to my mom and she was like "LOL, FUCK THAT, I'LL BUY IT FOR YOU FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY".

In fact, she's super stoked on it (my mom is something of a tattoo enthusiast). Sooo.

Come November, I'm in for my first tattoo. FUCK SHIT UP

He missed the last bus from his workplace by seconds and had absolutely no ride, no phone, and had to walk like, two towns over to get home.

Came back at 1AM.

That bastard.

It's 11PM. This is just his fourth day of his job.

I'm about to cry.

Prior to this, the highlight of my day was a client asking me what middle school I go to. |:

But I was at this woman's house installing blinds with my grandfather. She's old and has an oxygen tank. Which I can respect.

But I suddenly hear her calling me (this is the first time I've EVER met her). I go and see what's up.
"Could you bring me a Coke from the fridge in my garage?"
...uh. Alright? I'm here for the blinds but whatever, it wouldn't hurt.

I go and get the only Coke from her fridge, which is diet. Before I'm even back up the stairs she calls down:
"Oh, and could you put it in a glass with ice?"

Sure. Go back downstairs, put some ice in a glass ("YOU CAN FILL THE WHOLE THING WITH ICE" she yells down) and bring it back upstairs.

And then she asks me to get her a straw.

SIGH. Go back downstairs, get straw, return upstairs.

"Oh and could you also get me the rest of the can?"

OKAY. WHATEVER.
Go get diet Coke can, run upstairs.

"This is diet! Ew!"

"WELL THAT'S ALL YOU HAD"

"There's probably normal Coke on my counter."

SJLHDGKJGJH

Go back downstairs. Redo entire thing. (REMINDER: I AM THE BLIND INSTALLER.) Return upstairs.

And then she tried to lure me into cleaning her house once a week.
NOT TODAY, LADY.

Am I the only one who looks at all the shit I submit and wonder "HOW DO I HAVE ANY WATCHERS ROFL"

Excuse me while I weep in sheer happiness.
...I love how that sounds sarcastic. It's not. I fucking love having a job when my 44 year old alcoholic stepdad doesn't. LIFE, U SO CRAZY.

Usual journal ending, leave me a comment, send me a message you strangers, etc. <3

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l.....abkfo1_500.jpg

and all you know is what his lower stomach looks like

I WILL FIND YOU, FUTURE HUSBAND

Everyone to whom I owe my half of a trade, I'm really, really sorry for taking so long. I have this awful habit of doing traditional work, being too lazy to hook up my scanner, and by the time I get around to it, I look back at my art and go "wait... I could do WAY better than that". And then I redo it and it is a vicious cycle.

So thank you for being patient with my stupid ass, I PROMISE you will get your art even if it is the end of me!

I have a total mask fetish and I don't know why the hell

Boba Fett porn

Grandparents got food in my stomach, took a hot shower and a nap, now I'm not completely high off my ass.

HIT ME UP BRO, I want some notes/comments/etc to respond to when I get home.

lol painkillers

I am just dying right now because I thought it would be a good idea to take a whole bunch of pills that aren't mine so I could get some sleep


I slept for a while and I simply can not function because my brain is so sjkhsjhfgj


I'm having trouble speaking one language at a time when talking and am drifting in and out of English/Spanish/German



welp

and I want to eat Javier Bardem's face