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Dead (Until Further Notice)
General | Posted 10 years agoMy hopefulness in the past was gravely misplaced.
I mentioned several times that Duality could possibly get worked on as long as production for Sanity Within Dystopia was not hindered. After pages were finished, I used to frequently ask the artist, Ayla, when we would get back on the fan comic, and through the months I pulled back on asking until I just stopped, since the only responses I ever got were maybes, I-don't-knows, don't-wanna-talk-about-its and general noises of disapproval, with only a vague promise that if things went well with the other comic, then things would move forward this one. It's been over a year, and I'm sapped of hope. To some degree, apart from the lack of interest in the project, I have gotten the general impression that she's ashamed of it. Two grown adults, making a comic based on an existing intellectual property of a cancelled children's cartoon, and producing it for years as a mere hobby when we could be making our own material instead? Even further, now there's a Zim comic that is going to continue where the show left off, so why bother?
And you know what? She's right. I understand. It's the most infuriating feeling, but I understand. This comic means the world to me, but it's not doing anything for us in our personal lives. With Dystopia (and her other comic, Ichabod the Optimistic Canine), we're making something that may be worthwhile, that could maybe produce some kind of income in the future to support larger projects like them. We can't do that with Duality, not really. It certainly was never our intention to make a proper profit out of fan work. And that, perhaps, is the bane that makes Duality so difficult to continue.
I've had a conversation with Ayla recently, perhaps the first time I've brought up our old comic in months, after a brief back-and-forth with a follower got me thinking about the possibility of returning to the misadventures of Abi & Trad. Asking her about when we would continue Duality earned me a shrug. Asking if she still is considering coming back to it earned me the usual vague response. She tells me that she still wants to focus on the other comics (both of which are also not doing great in terms of a steady schedule) before she ever considers continuing Duality, and even when we do get back, it'll be a sporadic thing, making pages every so often without regard to how long between pages it takes to update. Still not the answer I want, but it may be the only answer I'll ever receive.
This comic was for us. We shared it with you because it would be weird to make a really nice-looking comic for no one to see. But it was really for us. Now it seems I'm the only one that still wants anything to do with it. And I linger around, floating to check on any messages on the account to simply declare "I'm still here." But updates will not come frequently enough anymore. Certainly not in time to keep those of you who were interested in the comic happy and coming back for more. If we update, who knows if we'll make more after that, or when? What's the point in getting invested if we're going to let you down again?
If you want to stop watching the account, it's fine. If you stay, I can't give you what you want, not with any regularity. I'll still be here either way. I apologise, however, because I have neglected to update as much over here as I did on the deviantART account due to the overall inactivity. But you deserve to know what's up, and I'm sorry that I didn't sooner. 134 watchers is still pretty amazing to me. Thanks for the love, and sorry that it can't really be reciprocated appropriately. I don't know if we'll ever be back, but I thank you all for the bits of joy you sent our way. Ayla and I both appreciated it immensely.
Take care, everyone.
I mentioned several times that Duality could possibly get worked on as long as production for Sanity Within Dystopia was not hindered. After pages were finished, I used to frequently ask the artist, Ayla, when we would get back on the fan comic, and through the months I pulled back on asking until I just stopped, since the only responses I ever got were maybes, I-don't-knows, don't-wanna-talk-about-its and general noises of disapproval, with only a vague promise that if things went well with the other comic, then things would move forward this one. It's been over a year, and I'm sapped of hope. To some degree, apart from the lack of interest in the project, I have gotten the general impression that she's ashamed of it. Two grown adults, making a comic based on an existing intellectual property of a cancelled children's cartoon, and producing it for years as a mere hobby when we could be making our own material instead? Even further, now there's a Zim comic that is going to continue where the show left off, so why bother?
And you know what? She's right. I understand. It's the most infuriating feeling, but I understand. This comic means the world to me, but it's not doing anything for us in our personal lives. With Dystopia (and her other comic, Ichabod the Optimistic Canine), we're making something that may be worthwhile, that could maybe produce some kind of income in the future to support larger projects like them. We can't do that with Duality, not really. It certainly was never our intention to make a proper profit out of fan work. And that, perhaps, is the bane that makes Duality so difficult to continue.
I've had a conversation with Ayla recently, perhaps the first time I've brought up our old comic in months, after a brief back-and-forth with a follower got me thinking about the possibility of returning to the misadventures of Abi & Trad. Asking her about when we would continue Duality earned me a shrug. Asking if she still is considering coming back to it earned me the usual vague response. She tells me that she still wants to focus on the other comics (both of which are also not doing great in terms of a steady schedule) before she ever considers continuing Duality, and even when we do get back, it'll be a sporadic thing, making pages every so often without regard to how long between pages it takes to update. Still not the answer I want, but it may be the only answer I'll ever receive.
This comic was for us. We shared it with you because it would be weird to make a really nice-looking comic for no one to see. But it was really for us. Now it seems I'm the only one that still wants anything to do with it. And I linger around, floating to check on any messages on the account to simply declare "I'm still here." But updates will not come frequently enough anymore. Certainly not in time to keep those of you who were interested in the comic happy and coming back for more. If we update, who knows if we'll make more after that, or when? What's the point in getting invested if we're going to let you down again?
If you want to stop watching the account, it's fine. If you stay, I can't give you what you want, not with any regularity. I'll still be here either way. I apologise, however, because I have neglected to update as much over here as I did on the deviantART account due to the overall inactivity. But you deserve to know what's up, and I'm sorry that I didn't sooner. 134 watchers is still pretty amazing to me. Thanks for the love, and sorry that it can't really be reciprocated appropriately. I don't know if we'll ever be back, but I thank you all for the bits of joy you sent our way. Ayla and I both appreciated it immensely.
Take care, everyone.
Apologies
General | Posted 11 years agoI've tried. I really have. I've made it pretty far writing-wise on the comic, I'm urging myself to cut more corners without sacrificing pacing and character development, but I'm just not that good of a writer to condense the material further. I curse myself for this because the artist just doesn't want to cooperate anymore. I'm on the verge of just taking up the art and doing the comic myself, but I just don't have the skills she has in either consistent line work or shading and highlighting. And I hate everything I draw, so it'd take forever to put anything out. Although, at this point, maybe crap quality's enough.
But I get it. She doesn't want to spend too much time on a silly fan comic when she could be making some original content. She's an artist, that's her main source of income. She takes commissions fairly often and has her job as lead artist for Ohio's TrotCon. Does seem unfair to do lots of work for no pay. I made the incorrect assumption that this was an important project for her, this was a piece of our relationship that we built up for five straight years. I believed that that was enough. It isn't, and though it might have been at the beginning, the novelty's worn off. I've deluded myself otherwise.
So, my understanding now is this: if I work on another comic, essentially doing the same work I've put into Duality, she'll consider continuing. I'm tired of fighting it, and I'm tired of feeling like I'm forcing her to essentially do slave work. We have a few ideas, but are currently focusing on something dark comedy-ish. As of early April 2014, we've had a title made, and now I'm doing my best to work on it on my spare time. Design work is still in its beginning, but the story arc seems to have been set. She wants to keep anything design-wise secret, but I think I can spoil the goshdarn title:
Sanity Within Dystopia
It's about a cat with a man's brain and a boy with a cat's brain. That's about all I can say without fear of being flayed. Ayla's highly more restrictive of work-in-progress material than I am, and this is her story. Sort of. Except I'm writing it. I just thought of that as I typed that sentence. Well, it's her concept, in any case. As soon as I finish this Journal, I'm thinking of seeing what I can do in terms of a FurAffinity account or something. Likely other places. I don't know.
As for Duality... this project –which, even when we started, we knew it would be a hefty thing– just seems like it'll be floating around for a long time, updated infrequently and for years beyond what either of us wanted or expected. But it'll be worked on. She knows this means a lot to me, and it used to mean a lot to her as well. She can't give up on it, right? I'm just tired of pushing for a quicker turnout. There really seems to be no point to it other than a lot of arguing. And as much as I care for this silly little comic, it's not worth straining our relationship.
I give up.
But I get it. She doesn't want to spend too much time on a silly fan comic when she could be making some original content. She's an artist, that's her main source of income. She takes commissions fairly often and has her job as lead artist for Ohio's TrotCon. Does seem unfair to do lots of work for no pay. I made the incorrect assumption that this was an important project for her, this was a piece of our relationship that we built up for five straight years. I believed that that was enough. It isn't, and though it might have been at the beginning, the novelty's worn off. I've deluded myself otherwise.
So, my understanding now is this: if I work on another comic, essentially doing the same work I've put into Duality, she'll consider continuing. I'm tired of fighting it, and I'm tired of feeling like I'm forcing her to essentially do slave work. We have a few ideas, but are currently focusing on something dark comedy-ish. As of early April 2014, we've had a title made, and now I'm doing my best to work on it on my spare time. Design work is still in its beginning, but the story arc seems to have been set. She wants to keep anything design-wise secret, but I think I can spoil the goshdarn title:
Sanity Within Dystopia
It's about a cat with a man's brain and a boy with a cat's brain. That's about all I can say without fear of being flayed. Ayla's highly more restrictive of work-in-progress material than I am, and this is her story. Sort of. Except I'm writing it. I just thought of that as I typed that sentence. Well, it's her concept, in any case. As soon as I finish this Journal, I'm thinking of seeing what I can do in terms of a FurAffinity account or something. Likely other places. I don't know.
As for Duality... this project –which, even when we started, we knew it would be a hefty thing– just seems like it'll be floating around for a long time, updated infrequently and for years beyond what either of us wanted or expected. But it'll be worked on. She knows this means a lot to me, and it used to mean a lot to her as well. She can't give up on it, right? I'm just tired of pushing for a quicker turnout. There really seems to be no point to it other than a lot of arguing. And as much as I care for this silly little comic, it's not worth straining our relationship.
I give up.
