I'm on Market again Kinda, My wife took off and I'm just a horny boy. I got an Anxiety and an ADHD diagnosis, I discovered I'm Pan and have a lean towards Polyamory. I have the Libido of a deer in rut but now that ii'm on Vyvanse the drive don't kick in on its own anymore which, leads to me being able to look at and enjoy porn without becoming a leaky boy.

I say all that and I miss Sathi dearly, I understand some things now but I don't understand others still.


I have an AD and Vent channel https://t.me/+VdJkBaPxAlZkZjYx

I know no one reads these things but here it goes
I have a conundrum
now that I drive RT7 buses in flagstaff (Like I will today) I Often go by a former furry friends place (last place I knew they lived) and for some reason they quit talking to me a few years ago, I have no idea why and it bothers me, I know I am not the greatest at keeping in touch but I just wish I knew why he and his spouse cut ties without so much as a hey you did X have tried to reason for why but yesterday I was on here and i apparently still follow his wife's art account and she posted an amazing thing and i tried to favorite it but it said I cant because i am blocked yet i can still see all her submissions and he didn't block me, heck she is the one that made my ref sheets and I had thought about having her make a gender bent art of my character because I am trying to figure my own relationship to gender but i can't even message to ask.

like the only things i can think of that I did "wrong" is after he went straight I came out as Bi curious (now Pan?) and I stayed friends with a male former friend that had feelings for him. like they were a few of my only friends still up here that had been to each others houses and shared each others alcohol.

so a month after the last thing my wife got pregnant again and we proceeded guarded and nervous well we mad it and October 23, 2018 our baby boy was born! he is now just over 7 months old and growing so well.

Sadly in the interim I lost my decent paying job and now work for less than I used to. I am driving all over the state of AZ and sometimes into California and New Mexico, i am tired all the time with no set schedule and i keep getting testy at home because of it. that makes me upset with myself and then frustrated and sad I am paying my bills but just barely and have to rely on far more "Help" than I want to i don't get to be home with my son when he is alert as much as I would like and that bothers me too.

All that and over the last few years have started to question my sexuality, A great friend calls what I describe as "hetero-flexible" I am not sure I want to label things even though it helps others understand where I am in life. I Unconditionally love my wife and regardless of where my questions lead I still see myself with her as long as I live but yet I am now drawn to homoerotic material and wonder what it would be like to have sex with another person possessing male genitalia (Is that the best way to put it since I am not ruling out Trans people either). IF I were to find someone to experiment with my wife would have to approve of them and they under no circumstances would be allowed to try to "replace" my family. and yes we have tried Pegging and it was a lot of fun but it didn't satiate the want to do this.


so here I am 32 years old with a wife and son i would never give up and having a sexual identity crisis. I feel like i am adrift in a strong current but have no idea where I am headed. and very little control over where I am going next, and I am apprehensive of whats around the river bend.

The holiday for me has become sad
On the 23rd my wife miscarried, at 10 weeks. I think we almost lost her too because of the extreme way her body decided to get rid of it. we had to make a return trip to the ER with her in an ambulance, almost had to have surgery and a blood transfusion then she was admitted so we were there until 3pm the 24th a winter storm blew in around 2 and we got stuck in flagstaff 40 miles from home. thanks to my MIL we stayed at a wonderful hotel at NAU. got up this morning and came home.

today I turned 31 and two days ago we buried one of my grandmothers

I came up with this while discussing furry artists prices on facebook

now imaging this with with fluffy (Gabriel Iglesias) voices and sound effects



"welcome to fantastic arts drive through may I take your order"
" yes I'd like a Double with realistic fur, hold the background and can i get them as wolves"
"Wolves are an extra $.10"
"thats fine"
"would you like hand holding for an extra $.35 or sex for an extra $3.50"
"Ill take the hand holding my mom might see this"
"your order will be 67.85 with tax please pull to slot 4"

Shamless plug

Watch my videos

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis.....z4I5kTgpnJPO7l
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis.....z4I5kTgpnJPO7l
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis.....z4I5kTgpnJPO7l

Photos coming soon to my FB page

I found a journal I think everyone should read
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4272615/

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9602400/

I hope to win but hey if not ill keep saving to get the supplies to make my own

tidmas art raffle http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4005066/

also accepted my proposal and we are Engaged as of October 2, 2012

artist making a furry card deck
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3742600/
have fun

Go here follow the rules

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3681077/

In other news a $15 kit saved me thousands and brought my truck back to life I can now drive myself to Flagstaff for those out of the loop on my way back from Anthrocon I was coasting into Verde Valley on I17 when at the bottom of the hill about to go up hill my transmission stopped working right and i had to get it towed home. Turns out the previous owner used blue RTV on the gasket and it appears that the RTV and the gasket rotted inside and may have plugged the filter a bit and the rotted through allowing all my precious fluid to escape! For those that don't know an automatic transmission uses the fluid and some valves and other stuff to engage the different gears via "clutch packs" without the fluid the transmission can not shift gears so, I had 1st gear only, So i replaced the filter, installed a new gasket and, 6 Quarts of fluid. so, booya My truck runs

Secret_wolf
a feral red wolf http://bit.ly/qSMM7s

Red wolf
5.5 ft tall slightly muscular,
head fur (human like hair floof) is a darker brown with slight hints of red,
ears are slightly rounded but still pointy rimmed brown like head fur,
blue eyes,
front extremities end in hand/paw hybrid 5 fingers and an opposable thumb with dark fingernails
dark red/brownish fur on back lighter on the sides and a really light brown almost off white from upper lips down through the groin fades to a mid tone brownish/red on inner thighs
black paw-pads
legs are plantigrade with paw like feet
tail is slightly floofy, dark red/brown on top fading to a lighter shade on the bottom

Art so far of me
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8826480/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15753109/ more brown than i really am though
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9318025/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8394905/





NSFW details
.
off white fur on sheath
penis has Knot and hybrid of canid/human head shape
REF
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/21491100/

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis.....366ED1311DC476
also i am still looking for


Valant and
Sammoh Kama'i

So i took a number of photos at Anthrocon and i had some names that i couldn't find that i was given so if anyone knows

Valant
Sammoh Kama'i

let me know both were subjects of my long exposure series at Anthrocon at the dance/rave on the 16th

Also if anyone wants Prints of any of my photos let me know

well i landed late in Phoenix both my planes were late good thing on the second one because the first landed after my scheduled flight time :( Next time i fly direct both ways
Also my truck transmission took a dive on me its leaking fluid and wont go beyond 2nd gear (insert string of expletives here)


I had an amazing time at the con
it will still be at least tomorrow until stuff starts magically appearing as i have 5 hours left on the transfer to get the files off my laptop
Watch me youtube Kb9vgr and facebook https://www.facebook.com/SecretShotsFurtography Not to forget here Need a bulk upload system for here :P
Thats all for now a longer post will follow as soon as i start slinging media out and get things straightened out

and im back to work and need sleep

WOO Anthrocon Is a Go Attention everyone I am doing a mad rush of tech support between now and June 10 my Special rates are as follows
$30 Diagnostic -see whats the problem
$50 software fixes under an hour + $20 for every hour after the first
$60 Hardware install with drivers and updates (if necessary) BYOH
$40 Ram install special BYOR
I will also shoot profile pics for people, If i have to drive to the site there will be a fuel surcharge Prices for photos are negotiable!

Also At the con if you find me I will Shoot you with my camera

Okay so I have been hanging out with some local furs and am so happy, plus my engineer training got pushed up, and I hear rumor that my vacation for AC will be approved. :) yay me

I have a horrible head cold its just awful! I am all stopped up and my judgement is off, and I am getting dizzy spells. ugh

now for the art thing I am looking at aquiring an wacom tablet to use with my photography and possibly taking up drawing because digitally erasing is way easier than actual erasing

Todays the big day the first meet i have planned here in wonderful Williams, AZ

ok I know a few of you are going to AC and most have their rooms all setup but i will ask the group I am looking for a room and does anyone have space? I just need some small space I will be traveling "light" electronics package + clothes/pillow/shower stuffs. also in the planning is what airline I do well negotiating so let me know if anyone already has Flight Data so I can see about matching your Itinerary and we can play spot the furry

I now have my student engineer card and i can now operate the train under the supervision of a certified engineer XD

Break out the liqueur We are gonna party then get sober and run train

I am thinking of dropping the Secret Wolf moniker and picking up a NEW NAME (gasp)
reasons include that my secret is no longer a secret literally ALL my "Regular" Life friends & coworkers Know and if there is one that doesn't well they are blind or never look at my FaceBook or listen to me My look and such shall not change as it is me but the name no longer fits
So I have started thinking of combining my RL name with may fur name or some derivative thereof

RL Name :o Jeremiah
Furry name for the last 11 years Secret_wolf
specific details
Anthropomorphic Red Wolf
Native to the Midwest (Indiana)
Followed the ancient call of GO WEST YOUNG MAN landed In the forests of Northern Arizona
Height 5.5ft tall
Bushy tail
Usually wears denim Jeans or shorts, and a t-shirt brown head hair Friendly blue eyes

Rio from Regal Wolf Studios is having a drawing to give away a free black and white, light up, husky tail. All you have to do is make a journal about it linking people to the original journal (which is linked below) and your name will be added into the drawing for a free tail!

A video of the tail can be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ej5g6SGhgSo

And a picture of the tail can be found here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7180027/
Just go visit the original journal by : regalwolfstudiosicon : (without spaces) and have your name entered into the drawing as well!

"Borrowed" from many other furries:

(X) stayed single for the whole year
( ) kissed in the snow
(X) celebrated Halloween
( ) kissed in the rain
( ) had your heart broken
( ) broke someone else's heart
( ) had a stalker
( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone
( ) had a good relationship with someone
( ) have a relationship with someone you'll never forget
(X) done something you've regretted
(/) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under a mistletoe


SCHOOL

(skipped this section since my last school day was several years ago.)

OTHER

( ) painted a picture
() wrote a poem
( ) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
(X) posted a blog
(X) listened to music you couldn't stand
( ) went to a sleepover
(X) went camping
( ) threw a surprise party
( X) laughed till you cried
( ) visited a foreign country
( ) cut in a line of waiting people
( X) told someone you were busy when you weren't
( ) partied to celebrate the new year
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
(X) lost something/someone important to you

In 2011 I...

( ) broke a promise
( ) lied
( ) went behind your parents back
( X) cried over a broken heart
( ) disappointed someone close
(X) hid a secret
(X) pretended to be happy
(X) slept under the stars
( ) kept your new years resolution (some of them)
(X) forgot your new years resolution
(X) met someone who changed your life
( ) met one of your idols
( ) changed your outlook on life
(X) sat home all day doing nothing
( ) pretended to be sick
( ) left the country
( ) almost died
( ) gave up something important to you
( ) lost something expensive (does a job count?)
( ) learned something new about yourself
(X) tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
(X) made a change in your life
( ) found out who your true friends were
(X) met great people
(X) stayed up 'till sunrise
( ) cried over the silliest thing
( ) was never home on weekends
( ) got into a car accident
(X) had friends who were drifting away from you
( ) had someone close to you die
( ) had a high cell phone bill
( ) spent most of your money on food
( ) had a fist fight
(X) went to the beach
( ) saw a celebrity
(X) got sick
( ) liked more than 5 people at the same time
(X) became closer with a lot of people