I have been thinking about making a male OC since there are some artists who are gender bias. So how does a male jakalope sound? I've always kind of liked jakalopes, and there really aren't that many that I know of. There are plenty of bunnies and rabbits, sure, but few jakalopes.

I already have a character design gelling together in my head.

Yeah I know I swore this place off, but there are some people on here that I need to get into contact with. Sadly this is the only site I know to reach them with.

Also, guess who will be moving to Seattle this summer~!

ME!

I have a handful of pictures that need to get uploaded. Sorry for that guys. It would seem that with my studies, and other sites I've kind of neglected FA. Oh tumblr how I love thee. I can bask in the glow of fandoms on tumblr all day. In fact that is kind of what I do. That and the occasional moral/political post.

There is so much on my plate right now, but I don't know if any furries even care about it. Doctor Who 50th is coming up Nov. 23rd, there are special world wide theater screenings on the 25th. New season of Sherlock starts Jan. 19th, and I am studying to be a voice actor in my own time. I need to find some drama and acting classes, get a voice coach, and maybe join a small local theater.

First and foremost I love myself. I do, I love who I am. Yes I know my faults, and sometimes they make me a little sad, but I still love myself. Sometimes I will mention my faults, and the issues I have with them, this is not me putting myself down! This is me admitting that I am human! If you see me doing this, be grateful, it means that I am trying to open up to you. It means that I am trusting you not to bash me, or tell me to shut up and stop beating myself up. I am willingly exposing, and discussing another side of my nature to you. The last thing I want or need is someone raging at me for being who I am, and trying to express it. You wonder why I don't talk about my feelings, my past, my hopes and dreams? It's because you won't even accept the other parts of me! Why should I give you only the good if you can't accept the bad?

Then there is the fear. Yes, I can have a very dark and morbid mind at times. I apparently scare people with things my mind can come up with. Just because I can imagine it does not mean that I would ever do it. Hell if that were the case then Stephen King would be a psychopathic pedophile murderer on death row by now.

I don't hate myself, I hate my life. The way things are going, I don't see a positive future no matter what I do. And I have tried to do a lot of different things to fulfill my life. So what do you do when nearly all your inhibitions have reached a dead end?

The SCA was a bust, it's one of the most expensive hobbies I have ever seen. I can't write worth a damn, so becoming a writer is out. My art is my sanctuary, where no one can touch me, and I can do what I desire. If I started doing art for pay it would destroy everything my art means to me. It would be like giving up one's freedom, and I don't have much of that to spare. So yes, I am going to be selfish when it comes to my art. I can't take demands when it comes to my art, I won't. It's the one thing I have in this world that is purely me. At the same time, it doesn't give me much of a future does it? Which comes to my next idea and dilemma. I could try to embark on my childhood dreams again...

I originally went to college to become a computer animator. That was a heaping pile of fail, let me tell ya. While I got some fantastic lessons on the inner workings of films and movies I just couldn't do the academics. Then financial aid ran out on me, and I had to quit a year and a half into my four year program. So I didn't even get a quarter of what I needed to carry on my studies.

To be honest, computer animation was my fall back plan. I originally wanted to be a voice actor. I got in touch with a Disney producer once, and asked him what I could do to accomplish that dream. He said to take voice lessons, and join a drama club. So I joined the school's chorus, and my English teacher tried to create a drama club for the middle school. Sadly the drama club didn't work out, not enough kids were interested. I stayed in chorus, and choir well into high school, just never got a voice coach. So here I am considering it again. I just don't want it to be another dead end in my life.

Work, family, love, education, health...avenues that have all been shut down in one way or another. A lot of times against my own will, or happenstances that were beyond my control. I don't have much left, right now there is just me, and I'm lost. I am so lost and alone. This is not the life I wanted. I wanted to be out in the world making a difference. I wanted to live. To feel every day like I could do anything, even if it was nothing at all. I want the last words I hear before I die to be someone I love saying they love me, and meaning it. I want my life to have mattered to someone other them myself- to have accomplished something no matter how small.

OMG Bach's Prelude from Suite No. 1 cello in G major, just came on my playlist. *swoons* Oh, and it's the Yo-Yo Ma version. *double swoons*

...*bursts into hysterical laughter* BACH!!! So that's why I don't give up. Couldn't stand an unfinished symphony. I get it now. Even more reason for me to love the man now, other then the music he could write for the cello. XD Oh yeah, the cello is by far my favorite musical instrument, the violin and piano tie for second.

And it's not furry! ::SHOCK::

BBC's Sherlock has become my new obsession. I put off watching it because it's known as "the fandom that waits." Each season is only three episodes, and apparently the fans have to wait years between seasons. Yikes. I'm fond of Superwholock, and felt a bit guilty that I only watched Supernatural and Doctor Who. Recently, I heard they were filming season three of Sherlock, so I broke down and watched it. I was not disappointed. I wish I had watched Sherlock sooner. The whole show is just brilliant.

This scene alone is enough to make you want to watch the show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnBezIgA3ys

I've been doing character studies on the Sherlock actors. I want to try my hand at simi-realistic art for a bit. If that is at all possible for me. I think I can do it, but I won't know until I try.

Even though I don't want to, because of the difficulty, I'm going to practice freehand on my tablet. This is going to be so hard for me, but I think I'll be better off for it. So be prepared for lower quality art from me for a while as I practice.

[x] smoked
[x] consumed alcohol
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[x] kissed someone of the same sex
[x] kissed someone of the opposite sex
[x] had someone in your room other than family
[x] watched porn
[x] bought porn
[x] tried drugs
TOTAL: 10

[x] taken painkillers
[x] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[x] lied to your parents
[x] lied to a friend
[X] snuck out of the house
[x] done something illegal
[x] felt hurt
[x] hurt someone
[x] gotten into a fight
[x] wished someone to die
[x] seen someone die.
TOTAL: 21

[x] missed curfew
[x] stayed out all night
[x] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[x] been to a therapist
[ ] received a ticket
[ ] been to rehab
[x] dyed your hair
[x] been in an accident
[x] been to a club
[x] been to a bar
TOTAL: 29

[x] been to a wild party.
[x] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night
[x] had a spring break in Florida
[x] sniffed anything
[x] wore black nail polish
[x] wore arm bands
[x] wore t-shirts with band names
[x] listened to rap
[ ] owned a hardcore metal CD
TOTAL: 37

[x] dressed gothic
[x] dressed lolita
[x] dressed girly
[ ] dressed punk
[ ] dressed grunge
[x] stole something
[x] been too drunk to remember anything
[x] blacked out
[ ] fainted
[x] laughed at someone's pain
[ ] had a crush on a neighbor
TOTAL: 44

[x] had a crush on a friend
[x] been to a concert.
[x] dry-humped someone
[x] been called a slut
[x] called someone a slut
[ ] installed speakers in your car
[ ] broken a mirror
[x] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[ ] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush.
TOTAL: 50

[ ] considered Ludicrous your favorite rapper
[x] seen an R-rated movie in theater
[ ] cruised on mail
[x] skipped school
[x] had surgery
[x] had an injury
[x] gone to court
[ ] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping
[x] caught something on fire
[ ] lied about your age
TOTAL: 56


[x] owned/rented an apartment/house
[ ] broke the law in the police's presence
[x] made out with someone who had a gf/bf
[ ] got in trouble with the police
[x] talked to a stranger
[x] hugged a stranger
[ ] licked a stranger
[x] been verbally harassed
[x] been physically harassed
TOTAL: 62

[x] met face-to-face with someone you met online
[x] stayed online for 5+ hours straight
[x] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight
[x] watched TV for 5 hours straight
[x] been to a fair
[x] been called a bad influence
[ ] drank and drove
[x] prank-called someone
[x] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex
[x] cheated on a test
GRAND: 71


If You Have Less Than 10...Write [I'm a Goody Goody]
If You Have More Than 10...Write [I'm average]
If You Have More Than 20...Write [I'm bad kid]
If You Have More Than 30...Write [I'm a bad influence]
If You Have More Than 40...Write [I'm a horrible person]
If You Have More Than 50...Write [I should be in jail]
If you have More Than 60...Write [I should be shot]
If You Have More Than 70...Write [I should be dead]

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5029833/

Well thought out, and articulated journal on art theft.

I didn't intend to write this, all I wanted to do was get an outline for my Doctor's introduction. You can see how it goes from giving basic information into becoming a story. I guess sometimes all you have to do is just sit down and start writing. Eventually it will evolve into something more.

NOTE: I am an artist not a writer. If I screw up on details I'm sorry. I came up with names on the spot.



The Doctor travels to earth after just regenerating. Only just finding out that he had regenerated into a woman. She goes to get dressed, and as the TARDIS lands she heads out to see when and where she is. A dark shadow is seen floating behind her, but when the Doctor turns to look there is nothing there.

A solider on leave is taking his younger sister shopping when they come across a monster attacking patrons at the mall. The solider takes up arms, and attempts to beat the creature off the other shoppers. The monster then turns it's attention to him, and bats him away, knocking him unconscious. The younger sister rushes to her brother's side, and the two are about to be eaten by the monster. The Doctor intervenes, holding the creature at bay with her sonic screwdriver. The creature becomes dazed, and the Doctor turns to help the sister get her brother to safety.

The two manage to drag the solider back to the TARDIS, once inside the Doctor scans the solider and assures the sister that it's only a slight concussion. Using the sonic screwdriver she speeds up the recovery time for the injury. The sister begins questioning the Doctor about what is happening, and the Doctor gives a quick synopsis of what is going on. "I'm the Doctor, this is the TARDIS, and that out there is a rift ray. It followed me here, but then decided to go after an easier target- you two." Banging is heard on the TARDIS doors. As the rift ray tries to get inside the Doctor begins to set a course to a place where they can get help to get rid of the creature.

Outside the TARDIS the rift ray balks as the blue box disappears, but then it slithers into where the TARDIS was standing and disappears as well.

Almost to their destination the solider wakes up. He looks around and thinks that he is dreaming until his sister helps him to his feet. He sees the Doctor and begins demanding an explanation.

The Doctor scurries around the main console. "A little busy here." She looks to the sister for help, "you fill him in."

The sister, who is just as confused and lost as her brother states that she doesn't know what is going on either.

Slightly annoyed the Doctor repeats, "I'm the Doctor, this is the TARDIS, and there is a creature outside following us called a rift ray. I hate having to repeat myself."

The siblings look at each other thinking they are in the presence of a mad woman, and they turn to rush out the door. "Don't open that door," the Doctor warns.

"You open that door in flight and you could fall into the void of time and space, and be torn into a million pieces scattered all over the universe. [which is] Not very pleasant."

The brother and sister share a look of horror and turn back to the Doctor. The sister asks, "okay then, what should we do?" To which the Doctor replies, "hold on!"

The siblings wrap their arms around one another and hold tight. The TARDIS lands with a great shutter, and all three brace themselves for the impact.

The Doctor congratulates herself on the landing, and heads to see where they have landed. The solider stops her, and roughly shoves her into the door. He gives his name and rank [Private Brandon] and orders to be filled in on what is going on.

"Oh a solider, haven't had one of you on board in a long time. You're going to be fun." The Doctor replies coyly. "Now to answer your question; we are being chased by a rift ray. A creature which normally occupies the Medusa Cascade, and feeds on smaller animals from other planets. They are normally harmless to people. However, this one seems to have separated itself from the herd. Which means one of two things, either it's lost, or it's sick, or both... Kind of like how a rouge wolf will leave it's pack and ends up hunting humans." She looks to the two sibling, and claps her hands. "Now ready?" She reaches for the knob on the door and Brandon and his sister stop her, fearing that the monster is still there.

"Don't worry, the ray fell a bit behind. He isn't out there." The Doctor assures them while opening to the door, "See for yourself."

The two poke their heads outside the door and look around. "Oh thank goodness," the younger sister sighs. Brandon takes a step outside, "where are we?"

The Doctor hops out the door and locks it behind her, "we're on Ponderosa. The planet, not the tree."

Brandon's younger sister wheels around, "you mean we're on another planet?"

"How?" Brandon stares down the Doctor, demanding an explanation.

The Doctor points back at the TARDIS many times trying to explain."The TARDIS, that's what she does. She travels through time and space." She gives the pair a confused look. "Haven't you been listening?"

"Okay, why are we here?"

"Ah, finally you ask! We are here to get help to send the ray back to the Medusa Cascade where it belongs. Now come along." She turns and heads in the direction of a large alien city. As the siblings begin to follow her she turns and begins walking backwards. "That reminds me, I never did catch your name," she says in reference to the younger sister.

"I'm Lily, Lily Cornwall," the younger sister answers while watching her footing.

"Brandon, and Lily Cornwall." the Doctor repeated, rolling the names around in her head. "Well that's a bit Cornish." She says laughing at her own joke. "So are the two of you from Cornwall?"

"No!" They both reply, unamused by the Doctor's obvious delight in making fun of their name.

"Oh... Oh well then, follow me Cornwalls," she calls back to them while continuing to march toward the city.

Note: You turn this journal into a whine fest about how you don't like the new Doctor, or who you think *should* have gotten the role and I will end you. Got that?

So I am having moments of slight insanity over Doctor Who. I completely blame this on Matt leaving the show and BBC looking for the new Doctor. Grats to Peter on nailing the role btw. You are going to be an amazing Doctor sir.

Anyway I have been having dreams about it, and what is interesting is that the dreams are actually possible in the Who universe. I have been dreaming about a female Doctor, and what adventures she might have.

Now before anyone comes screaming at me like a crazed banshee about "THE DOCTOR CAN ONLY BE A MAN!" Bitch go back and watch "The Doctor's Wife," and actually pay attention! Timelords can change gender when regenerating.

I know there are a lot of people who are strongly against the thought of the Doctor being female, but I welcome the idea. It could be just as much of a shock to the Doctor as it could be the fans. I mean just imagine her looking down for the first time and... "No. No...what are these?!" she clasps her hand over her mouth shocked to hear a higher pitched voice come from her own lips. "I'm a girl! Really a girl!" To me it would be hilarious. She can go through so much more as a woman, and I can see her as still being a strong take charge kind of person. Yes she could have her moments of doubt, but what Doctor hasn't?

...I am thinking about putting together an outfit for my idea of a female Doctor. Not a female version of an existing Doctor, there are tons of those already.

I am using Captain Mal from Firefly, and steampunk for inspiration. One thing is for sure a brown or red waist cincher is a must for this outfit.

This all pertains to Blood and Shadow, and the plot that I had worked out.


Preza goes through training, and finally becomes a full fledged assassin. After years of hard work she becomes trusted enough to be the one chosen to aid the Southern chapter in their bi-annual migration. This does not settle well with Hybrin because he remembers how the Southern chapter regarded Preza as a slave. Which to them is nothing more then trash. So he follows her to insure the migration goes smoothly, and that no one undermines her authority. While the Southern tribe does not like Preza having become an assassin like them, they still treat her with just enough respect.

Unfortunately at the end of their trek Preza comes face to face with an old enemy, Valucia. Valucia taunts Preza, and tries to goad her into a fight. For the most part Preza ignores her old owner's instigation until Valucia says that if she win she can have any slave of her choice. This angers Preza and she agrees to the fight, but only on the condition that she gets all of Valucia's slaves. The Tigress begins to go back on her word, and Preza calls her out on it. In order to save face before all the people in the market place Valucia agrees. Hybrin finally lets his presence known, and tries to stop the fight. He tries to convince Preza not to go through with it, fearing that she will kill the tigress. He makes the feline promise to try and not kill. Preza promises, and carries out the fight with Valucia. It is clear that Preza's skills far surpass Valucias even with a handicap. At the end of the fight Valucia is down, and Preza remarks "you may have taught me how to fight, but he taught me how to kill." With that she warns Valucia to not get up. Outraged, and humiliated Valucia's pride is too much, and she goes for one last attack. Preza swiftly kills her.

At this point we meet Flo, and find out that she is an old acquaintance of Hybrin, before he was an assassin. Flo is visiting with her father who has business with the guild. So she is stuck to Hybrin's side while they are there, much to his chagrin. Preza learns a bit more about Hybrin from Flo, and even though the young husky annoys her it isn't enough for her to dislike the girl. She does however note how much Hybrin seems to loath the teenager. Later that afternoon the pair sees Flo and her father off.

Hybrin is clearly exhausted from the whole ordeal, and Preza offers to by him a drink. To which Hybrin remarks that he has never drank before. Intrigued to hear this Preza drags Hybrin to a tavern and holds a drinking contest with the wolf. The two get completely wasted Hybrin is clearly the one worst off. He can barely stay conscious, much less walk. Preza helps guide him to her flat, where she dumps his inebriated body on her couch. Offering to let Hybrin stay Preza gets up to grab him a pillow and sheets for the couch. As she goes to get the items Hybrin grabs her wrist in a steel tight grip. Confused Preza looks back to find him looking at her strangely. She recognizes the look as the one he gets when on a mission. More then unsettled Preza tries to break free of his grasp to no avail. As a last resort she aims to slap the wolf, but finds the blow caught by Hybrin's other hand. Hybrin begins to murmurer lewd things under his breath as he pulls Preza to the ground. He lunges off the couch and pins the feline to the ground beneath him. Panicked Preza tries to reason with him, reminding him of what they've been through, and that he'd hate himself if he were to do something to her. Her words seem to fall on deaf ears as Hybrin begins to tear her clothes from her body.
In the morning Hybrin wakes up on the living room floor to the sound of Preza making breakfast. He walks into the kitchen and calmly sits at the table. Preza is shocked to see such a casual display from him after what had happened the night before. She realizes that he doesn't remember, and decides it best not to let him know, otherwise things could drastically change between them.

Hybrin's black outs are happening more frequently, and he is prone to bouts of violence. He fears that the demon inside his mind is slowly taking control of him. So he sets out to find someone who can stop it. He is beginning to be plagued by visions of events that happened on his missions when he would let the demon loose so that he can be free of remembering the violence and blood shed. What he sees is slowly driving him mad. Eventually he comes to an old mage who used to be a part of their guild. He begs the man to put the demon back in it's cage. To which the man informs him that it is not a demon, but rather the darker side of himself trying to claw it's way to the surface. Hybrin demands that he do what ever he did the last time to stop it. Unfortunately the mage cannot do it a second time. He mentions how the ordeal nearly killed Hybrin the first time, and after all the time that had passed since then, and the death count he has racked up his mind wouldn't be able to separate so easily. He goes on to remind him that when he split Hybrin's mind the first time he did warn him that eventually he would have to face himself. Tormented and still trying to make sense of everything Hybrin leaves to head back to the guild. Olong the way he has visions of Preza lying naked under him calling out to him, begging him to stop.
During this time Preza has been doing her own research on what happened to Hybrin. Talking with the younger mages of the guild and Trisha she discovers what it is that Hybrin has to do to become normal again. They all agree that at the rate Hybrin is going he wouldn't be able to pull himself together on his own. The mage offers Preza a telepathy stone that could allow her to delve into Hybrin's mind. They warn her of the risk of using it past it's set time limit, and that they will monitor her progress from where they are now. Preza sets off to find Hybrin.

Preza finds Hybrin backed into an alleyway with his head in his hands. She calls out to him, and his head shoots up with a crazed look of fear in his eyes. He warns her to back away, that he doesn't want to hurt her any more. Preza explains the situation to him, and steps forward to offer him help. Hybrin continues to babble about the things he is seeing, about what he had done to her. He flails frantically trying to get her away. Preza manages to dodge his hands, grabbing his arms she pins him to the wall and kisses him activating the stone. Once inside his mind Preza begins to have a battle of wills against Hybrin's darker half. The two banter and fight while Hybrin's conscious watches helplessly from the sidelines. Preza encourages Hybrin to accept his darker half, that it is a part of him. While at the same time Hybrin's inner demon continues to show him the bloody past that he helped to cover up. Taunting him, saying that Hybrin cannot handle the truth, and needs his demon there. Hybrin begs for Preza to escape as his inner demon is obviously far to strong for her to fight. Preza refuses to leave even after a warning from Trisha and the mages that her time is running out. She tells Hybrin of the night they got drunk, that she had accepted what was done, "I accepted it the night it happened because it was you. Now you're the one who has to accept it!" She tries one last time to get Hybrin to realize that all the bad things were happening because he was allowing it to happen. That if he wanted it to he could stop his inner demon from attacking her, he simply had to accept the darker side of himself, and realize it is a part of him. In a last ditch effort to silence her the inner demon fires a psychic energy beam at her. Just before the blast hits her it explodes into fine particles of energy doing no harm to Preza. Hybrin's conscious tackles his inner demon and begins to absorb it into himself. Many things happen all at once the telepathy stone shatters forcefully cutting of Preza's link to Hybrin's mind, and Hybrin's conscious fully absorbs his inner demon. Preza breaks the kiss only to fall lifelessly to the ground. When Hybrin opens his eyes he finds Preza lying before him.

Months pass and Preza is placed in the medical ward at the guild. She has been in a coma every since the day Hybrin became whole. Every now and then Hybrin goes to check on her to see if her condition has improved. Much to his dismay it never does. He hasn't taken on any missions since then either. Instead he hangs around the training grounds with the new recruits. Trisha is not pleased with Hybrin's change. She knows why he won't go on any missions, but she is determined to get him back on the saddle. She receives word on a war between two small countries, one of which has requested services from the guild to spy on the other camp. She figures the task would be small enough, and there would be no need for blood shed. She orders Hybrin to take a new recruit on the mission and train her along the way. Hybrin begrudgingly accepts the mission and is introduced to Jolie, who is instantly infatuated with him. On their mission something goes wrong, and the other army is alerted to Hybrin and Jolie's presence. The two race back to the guild with the army hot on their heels. Once at the guild Hybrin rushes inside to warn Trisha of the failed mission, and orders Jolie to raise the alarm for an incoming attack. The available assassins all gathered at the front gates, preparing for the army. The army begins to sack the town on their way to the guild. The two forces collide at the gates, and begin to wage battle.

Preza wakens to the sound of the alarm, she gathers her clothing, and her knives heading out to see what the problem is. Scaling the roof tops she throws knives down at the soldiers below. She spots a blue haired rabbit about to get stabbed in the back, and aims a knife at the attackers face. Jolie turns around to see where the dagger had come from only to see an unfamiliar feline standing on the roof above. Preza warns the bunny to pay attention or to get out of the fight. Preza runs on to lodge more daggers at the rest of the crowd. Jolie glowers at the cat's back, and turns back to the fray, blocking an ax with her staff before it could be plunged into her skull.

Hybrin arrives from alerting Trisha, and dives into battle. He begins effortlessly cutting and slicing his way through the soldiers, making sure to avoid any of his comrades busy in their own fights. He turns and is about to swing his sword when he suddenly freezes, seeing Preza stand before him. Preza smiles and swiftly glides under Hybrin's arm to stab an enemy soldier standing behind him. The two assassins begin to fight in tandem with one another, fluidly moving from one fighting position to the next as if no time had come between them. Jolie spots the pair, and growls not liking the feline to begin with, but now she was fighting with her new partner. Eventually the battle died down, and the army signaled for a retreat. The assassins allowed the enemy to gather their wounded, and leave.

After the battle Preza walks down one of the guild's corridors stiffening for a moment as a pair of familiar arms come out from the shadows to embrace her from behind. Hybrin holds her close "I could have killed you." Hybrin said referring to the mental battle between Preza and himself. Preza only smiled and leaned her head back against his shoulder. "I told you before, "you couldn't kill me even if you tried." From the shadows Jolie watched the pair in their embrace, growing more and more jealous by the second. When Preza turned around in Hybrin's arms to face him Jolie rushed out from the shadows, calling to Hybrin. The pair break off contact instantly, and Hybrin introduces Preza to Jolie, who announces that she is Hybrin's partner. Hybrin tries to correct her but is interrupted by the bunny. She lies and tells him that Trisha wanted to see the two of them so they could give a full report on the incident with the mission. Preza and Hybrin says their farewells and promise to see each other soon. Preza heads toward the cafeteria and falls to her knees. Her body hadn't recovered, and she was starting to feel the effects of it. A voice called to her from the hall and she looks up to see Trisha coming toward her. Trisha observes that she should be in the medical ward resting, and not wandering around the guild. Preza refuses stating that she had spent enough time in bed. She asks Trisha why she is there with her when she wanted to see Hybrin and Jolie about the mission. Trisha notes that she didn't call for them, but it would be a good idea none the less. Both women come to realize that Jolie had lied, and Trisha helps Preza to the cafeteria. Trisha sees to the feline to make sure she gets some food and is taken care of. Eventually Preza falls asleep in the comfort of a couch. Trisha leaves her there to take care of the debriefing.


And that is about all I have thought out. I don't know where to go from there, and it'll be a miracle if I can even get the scenes for this all typed out. So there you go, this was the plan for my great story.

So I slept a lot lately due to a soar throat and not feeling well. Before mom woke me up this morning I was having a great dream.

I dreamed that I was The Doctor's daughter, and he didn't know it. I demanded that he take me with him, and he was refusing, saying that I needed to stay with my mother (adopted mother.) After a bit more arguing I finally broke down and yelled at him, "I don't have her DNA I have yours!" That seemed to shock, and shut him up pretty quickly.

The back story was that River secretly gave birth to me and left me to a family in England, knowing that her and the Doctor's lifestyle was far too dangerous to bring a baby along. She never told the Doctor, and only I was left with the information of my strange birth.

Don't look at me like that. I'm ill, and this was one of my most awesome dreams ever!

If only I could talk to BBC about this, and possibly give them some ideas. Not that I would want to play as the Doctor's daughter, but the idea of it would surely be a mind fuck.

but votes are needed NOW!

Please vote for JP Corwyn to get his song, 'Free' played during the season finale of Vampire Diaries!

https://www.facebook.com/profile.ph.....ies%7C86405673

Vote for him once today, and again tomorrow before the contest ends. If you can.

Why? Well I know Corwyn personally. He is a fantastic musician, and an amazing guy. He is a heavy weapons fighter in the local SCA. He has helped me through a lot of issues I have had trying to become a combat archer. Oh, and he is also legally blind, only capable of seeing shadows at best. So with my own waverying eyesight he is the one person I know I can rely on to help me achieve my goals in the SCA. I want to be able to give this great man something back. He really deserves it.

Be sure to listen to his song too! Trust me, it's really good.

Got my full sized, wearable, hannya mask in the mail today. She is beautiful! She is a white blank resin base, and fully paintable. I cannot wait to get some paints from the hobby store, and paint the hannya image on this mask. First I need to find a dremel and bore out eye holes and a strip on the mouth for air.

I got the mask to wear during big SCA events where we hold a masquerade at night. I knew that I wanted a noh mask, since they are period. I just had to figure out which one. I have always loved hannya, the story of them is so sad and the mask is scary, sad, and beautiful to me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hannya

[The Hannya mask is said to be demonic and dangerous but also sorrowful and tormented, displaying the complexity of human emotions. When the actor looks straight ahead, the mask appears frightening and angry; when tilted slightly down, the face of the demon appears to be sorrowful, as though crying.]

That is why I like the hannya mask so much. It's so complex, and artistic. Almost mysterious in a way. The mask represents a jealous or scorned woman. Often times a woman who obsesses over a man, and acts jealous of any other girls is called a hannya. A woman who's husband cheats on her can also become a hannya. It's the jealousy and obsession that consumes the woman that turns her into a vengeful demon.

I think there is a hentai anthology that has a hannya in it. I know that I read it once. The premise of the story is a wife who works very late hours at her job and barely gets to see her beloved husband. However, her husband takes to sleeping with her younger sister who he claims to be in love with, and not his wife. The wife knows about the affair but is jealous and tormented because she truly does love her husband. One night while at work the wife falls asleep, and her spirit travels to her home, catching her sister and husband in the act. Overcome with grief the spirit lashes out attempting to kill them both, but her and her husband's cat gets in the way, shielding the two lovers. The hannya kills the cat and disappears. The next scene is after the wife comes home, the husband has cleaned up the mess, and they are talking about what happened. The husband goes over the events of the hannya attack, and lets it known that he knows it was his wife.

At first glance a lot of people say that the hannya mask is ugly, which is both true, and false. What do you think?

So I jumped back on the SCA horse, and I'm cracking down on making my kosode. A kosode is the garment that predates the kimono, but is essentially the same garment with smaller and more rounded sleeves.

I am planning on making the pattern something like this.

http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/74.....507800x600.jpg

The top third of the pattern will be up higher, and the middle and bottom thirds will be longer. Also the sleeves will be all one fabric.

I found this fabric, which is perfect for a period kosode. It's blue green faux shabori (Japanese tie-dye) clouds with hints of yellow and blue. It is very elaborate, and difficult to explain.

http://www.ebay.com/soc/itm/2211187.....0?roken=7tStlf

I also got a gorgeous golden wave fabric with metallic gold thread details. This will be the middle third of my kosode.

I bought both these fabrics. Now all I have to do is wait for them to arrive to start making my measurements and patterns.

I hope to have my kosode done before June.

So an interesting thing happened on Valentine's Day, I got asked out.

Strike and I had been talking for a bit in some group skype calls. While talking with him in those I had instantly become interested in him. He is brilliant, level headed, fun, has a good sense of humor, is good looking, and seemed interested in me. We seemed to stimulate each other mentally, and that is what really kicked it off for us. We liked the way the other thought.

I am keeping my fingers crossed, and hoping that this actually leads to something more. We kind of rushed into things, and are trying to pull it back a bit to get to really know each other first. It's just difficult when you really connect with someone. I am trying not to fall back on bad habits.

Okay lets get one thing straight, when you break up with someone you don't have a right to come back and tell them that if they change everything about themself then you'll be with them. You already lost that right when you broke up with them in the first place! Either you love a person for who they are or you don't, there are no ultimadums. There is no "I'd love you and be with you if you do XYZ..." You are a fucking moron if you think you can manipulate a person like that when yet again YOU broke up with THEM. You already TOLD them what you think about them when you did that! The only thing you are saying here is "you weren't good enough for me." Guess what, I WAS, you just refused to see it, and now that you are gone you'll never get to see. But hey, that was the choice YOU made. Maybe if I actually HAD someone who was interested in what I do, instead of NEVER BEING THERE, things might have been different. So what is this magical "I'm here to watch you grow now?" Fuck you! I've already grown! I did it while you weren't here, while you were busy, you know, NOT being a part of my life.

Here have a list:

I can bake AND cook now (even though I still say I can't XD)

I have a ton more friends now, both online and off

I have become an extremely sociable person

I'm looking into being crew for podcasts, and voice overing games

Hell I am even entertaining the though of becoming a certified lifeguard, and volunteering my time to the local YMCA.

But you don't know ANY of that because I don't feel the need to hop on any journal, blog, or facebook to document what is going on. I don't HAVE to do that any more.

So we get back together, what then? You going to disappear for weeks at a time again? Are we going to live seperate lives and hardly get to say "good morning" to each other, much less have quality time? Who says I want a life like that? Who says I want to barely get to see the person I love? It sure as fucking hell isn't me.

There are people who have seen what you've said to me, and every single one thinks you're an idiot, and an asshole to boot. You know what, I have to agree. You avoided me, ignored me, and did everyhthing in your power to act like I didn't even exist. Now you want to say that I have a chance to be back with you? Why would I want to? After putting up with all of that, and being thrown away, why should I come back to someone who puts me down? I now own the confacence that you stripped away from me. I had to out of nesesity.

Don't get me wrong I loved you, I still do. I loved you so much that I was willing to overlook all of your negative traits, and focused solely on the good ones. Because that is what love is, accepting a person for who they are no matter what. I feel sorry for you, I'm sorry that you never learned that lesson. I am sorry that your selfishness has cost you one of the greatest things you ever had in your life, unconditional love. All I ever wanted was you, but you wanted more then me.

And so now is the time to really make the choice, for that I leave you with this.

http://youtu.be/YJlOQO6ZKbY

Sometimes I get asked why I cover genitals, or don't draw nipples. There are a few reasons, but the biggest one is artist intent. I am not trying to make porn here (not always), I am trying to do more of a pin up style. Leaving a little something to the imagination. When you do full exposure you take away any chances of the viewer being able to use their imagination. I as an artist love to use my imagination. It gets me off. So, I figure if my imagination gets me off then it might do the same for others.

Zelnyair and I were talking recently and he asked me about my art, and if it was my intention to hide these things. Yes, yes it is my intention. He completely understood where I was coming from, and said one of the most profound things I have ever heard. "It's not the nudity that's erotic, It's what you do with the body..." That statement hit the nail on the head. A Person is not just genitalia and nipples, they are hands, eyes, mouth, nose, ears, arms, legs, torso, and most importantly expression. If you are looking at my art going "where is the sex," you're doing it wrong.

Okay there is a lot, and I mean a-fucking-lot of gay jewelry out there for people to show off their pride. *blows kisses to her gay friends* However, there doesn't seem to be much in the way for us bi people. I mean it, I looked. There is just about Etsy hand made items, and that is about it.

So I had a talk with Gypsy about this. I asked her if she wouldn't mind making me a pair of barbells with a bi pride flag chain on them (blue-purple-pink.) Of course I knew she would just for me, but then she asked something I didn't expect. "Do you think other people might want this? Like is there a market for making bi, trans, and leather pride jewelry?" We talked about it, and the problem seems that people don't really know that there are flags out there other then the gay pride flag.

So here is my question to other bi people out there, transgenders/sexuals too: Would you be interested in having pride flag chainmaile jewelry? We are thinking about starting to make some to sell, and want to know if there is a desire for such a thing.

Gypsy already makes the rainbow flag chainmaile jewelry, which does blanket the BT part of LGBT. However, she is wanting to see if people would be interested if she made bi, and TG geared chainmaile as well. Sure we can all wear the rainbow flag, but there are flags for both bi and TG.

Rainbow Flag
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow_flag

Bisexual Flag
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual_pride_flag

Transgender Flag
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transg.....der_Pride_flag

I was watching one of Shar's streams last night, and she drew an adoptable for Nixy. This character gave me an idea for my own similar character. Now I'm itching to draw her, but I am having trouble knowing where to start.

To the gay guys, you know how you hate it when a straight man acts all squeamish and grossed out by you? Guess what, I hate it when you do that to women. It's severely hypocritical of you. It makes you just as much as a phobic person as them, and that isn't right. So please, do your gender a favor and try to be better then that. Women have to deal with enough shit from the straight guys, we don't need the faggoty little fruit cakes going "eeeewwww a giiiiirl," as well. Grow the fuck up. We don't have cooties. We are people who, believe it or not, actually have the same preference in partners. If anything we are your fucking allies. Some of us, myself included, LIKE male on male, and see nothing wrong with it. However, I get treated like I'm a freak just because I have a pair of ovaries and tits? Yeah fuck you.

To make it perfectly clear I am a huge, HUGE fag hag, but I cannot tolerate being treated the same way straight men treat you. I am not less of a person, I don't magically not have feelings, and I am not going to sit silent while you act all disgusted at my gender. I know tits and vaginas aren't your thing, but don't go flailing around acting all insulted when you see them. I don't do that to you! So again, can I PLEASE ask that you stop acting like such a GUY when you happen across my gender?

There are plenty more Heartz art in the works, and at some point I need to show you all her back side. No joke, she has more cute heart marks back there as well. Keep in mind though that she is replacing my bondage kitty. So she is going to be my kinky kitty in bondage. Remember that. I have had a few people gush over how cute she is, and I don't want to shock anyone when they see what I have in store for her.

The bird is officially in the oven! *strikes an awesome pose*

Happy Thanksgiving USA, and to those who don't celebrate, like my Honey in the Bahamas, *blows kisses at Sky* I say have a great day. May your turkeys come out moist and tender.

Good news next Saturday I will have a weasyl account. You know the furry site that has actually done everything the FA claimed it was going to do for years? I can't wait!

I will NOT help someone sell stolen artwork. Either you make something on your own or you stop fucking drawing. References are fine, but when you flat out copy someone else it's a no go for me.

You just made me love the new banner.