As I sit here and type this part of me is wanting to run away screaming. I have debated it for a long time, over a few months, and I might start doing commission con badges. *resists the urge to run* I am wondering what others on my watch list might think about this. I am mulling the details out in my head as far as prices, options, and ToS go. I ask that my friends on skype as well as anyone who has done commissions in the past to please share any useful information with me?

You have no idea how much this scares me. I mean I stopped working in foods and retail for a reason. I don't like being a nervous ball of quivering fluff. It does bad things to my insides.

*glares at Banzai* Traitor! The little brat brought mom in here because he felt me starting to panic. ¬_¬ I could have handled it alone, ya know?

I might make a Lj later on with a list of my thoughts as far as what I will be producing, etc. I like being super organized when it comes to work.

Got back from AC yesterday. We had to wake up at 2am to catch a car to the airport. You can bet I slept every chance I could yesterday.

I got some great stuff from the Dealer's den and AA. For instance these freaking AWESOME goggles for my Sweets suit. They look like this http://blog.juggle.com/files/2010/10/goggles.jpg only painted to look all weathered and punkish. The lenses are interchangeable. Freaking sweet! I got three Anthrocon t-shirts, including the official sponsor shirt. Bell and ribbon that jingles like no tomorrow, and that is about it.

I stalked  drakonicknight in the AA. I totally wanted to see her and see how the business was going.

Mom got the sponsor shirt as well as a hat from Drakonicknight. Sky finally got a tail. It's so FLUFFY! It was sold as a fox tail, but he uses it as his wolf tail. He has no idea how hot he looks with his tail on, even mom thinks so.

I forgot, I also got a butt load of scented Con*Tact caffeinated soaps. Including one that smells like louged absinth. *smells herself* Ah, it does smell like it too. I got supermint, strawberry, snozzberry (OMG sugar glider), cotton candy, bamboo grass, and sex panther (for Sky). I chose sex panther as his scent because it would smell perfect on him. As for me, I'll have a scent for every season- and then some!

At AC taking advantage of their ONE DAY free internet service. Ya know, they kind of lied a little when they state they have free internet in the rooms. It sounds very miss leading the way they word it. I might go with the Omni next year. It's a farther walk but it sounds better from my friends who are rooming there.

I took my time to get some practice suiting in. I had quite a few photo ops right off the bat. Which surprised me.

It's finally hit me that I'm going to Anthrocon. I mean it's hit me before, but not this hard. I'm so excited my hands are shaking. Gah! I almost can't type this!

I will try to suit a lot more then I did at MWFF, which was more of a practice run in my new partial. I will definitely be socializing more. I know more people now, and I feel comfortable with getting friendly with you all. I will ask for more hugs this go round. I will have my small entourage of my mom and Sky, so don't forget them!

I'll most likely be out of suit when I am plundering the Dealer's Den and, AA. I want a good look at everyone's wears.

Be sure to look for me, and if you see me do come up and introduce yourself, or ask for a hug. I like hugs. :D http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5666565/

Be back later, I need to run through the house squealing at the top of my lungs now. XD

Senora Kitty: So my dream was really fucked up
Sky: Kinda figured that, what happened?
Senora Kitty: A girl got raped and the doctor that was taking care of her turns into Bane.
Senora Kitty: She freaks out and runs away from him, and he ends up chasing her through town.
Senora Kitty: So Bane finally catches up with her and has her backed into a wall. (here is where it gets all wtf) He sticks his finger in her, and she winces. There is still something in her from the rape. He leans down sticks his tongue in her and pulls out a shard of metal with his teeth.
Sky: ouch, fucked by a blade
Senora Kitty: Yeah
Sky: btw, I'm into episode 4 now so if that was a reference to a later episode I haven't seen it yet
Senora Kitty: No, it wasn't.
Senora Kitty: It was just my brain fucking with me.
Senora Kitty: But seriously! Imagine Bane being an OBGYN
Sky: xDDDD
Senora Kitty: *screams in horror* These IMAGES aren't helping!!!!!
Senora Kitty: http://ijustwanttofitin.com/wp-cont...../04/bane24.jpg
Senora Kitty: http://www.thehollywoodnews.com/wp-.....43320_640w.jpg
Sky: Your fault for looking him up :/
Senora Kitty: I was going to look for a decent pic of him to say "can you imagine THIS as an OBGYN (eating a rape victim out?)"
Senora Kitty: Then my brain goes, "yeah, it was kind of like that. :3"
Sky: lol
Senora Kitty: We will never speak of this again.
Senora Kitty: Dr. Bane does not exist.

Later in my dream Batman and Miss (yes Miss) Marvel show up to save the girl. My dream goes all King Kong on me. Bane is all "must protect girl." Then they save her and she eventually goes all Stockholm syndrome on them and runs back to Bane. Some stuff goes down that I can't remember. The girl dies, and Bane brings her back some how.

I really feel as if I'm insane. Who dreams of shit like this?

I feel like I have been hogtied to the front of a bullet train for the past three months. BDSM is a psychedelic crash coarse into human behavior.

The local Doms have been looking at me as fresh meat. Off the top of my head I think that there are six that want to play with me in a scene. Thank goodness they are nice people, and know how to take no for an answer. I also have a few protectors, and saviors to thank for that. They help give me the back bone I need when Sky isn't around.

No one gets to play until the Wolfie does. Sky and I still need to learn our roles with one another. He needs to practice being a Dom with me. Only then does HE get to say whether others can play or not.

I did get to partake in a fire cupping demo at the local kink club.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIEakMcIQ8w&feature=related Video is not of the demo I was at. It is just to show what fire cupping is. The same night as the fire cupping I also got set on fire, and I LOVED IT. How many people can say that? It didn't hurt at all, and I went into subspace for the first time with it.

In furry news AC is a full thumbs up go for us. Sky and my mom will both be going with me. I hope I'll have my suit by then (doubt it -_-) If not, oh well. Sweets might not be done by then either. So I'll probably be stuck with the same partial again. I really don't want to get into it though. Too much emotional stress I don't need.

I feel bad neglecting the other parts of my life just to get accustomed to the BDSM scene. However, that should be slowing down here soon. I'm going to try and make May and June about me and my life. The learning part is over, now I get to relax.

There will be a BDSM camp out at the beginning of May. I'll be off in the middle of the woods doing workshops with friends. I hope that I can video tape some of it for Sky.

I got to practice using a whip yesterday! I cracked myself in the ass a few times, but that was kind of nice. At least I didn't pull an Indiana Jones and split my lip and chin open. I did however, manage to whip my Mentor in the back. O.O I didn't mean to!

Even though I suck at it I still had fun, and I hope he'll let me practice again. I just need to learn control and fluid movements. Maybe he'll teach Sky, and he can whip me any time I like. XD Lord knows I'm good at whipping myself, but where is the fun in that?

It baffles me how people seem to think their opinion matters to me. It's as if I hang on their very existence, which I don't. I never have in the past, and I never will. So if you have an opinion on something I say, or do try being smart and keep your mouth shut. Why? Maybe because I don't give a flying rat's ass, and you are just wasting your breath. Does that make sense? Does that get through your thick furry filled skull? The world doesn't revolve around you, me, or any other person.

So fucking what if I want to waste my own time in my own gallery? Should it really matter to you? I don't think so. I have learned to be an adult and keep my mouth shut, especially on other people's turf. I don't start shit, I fucking end it. If you are ignorant enough to come to me, and start some negative bullshit over something I just want to do, be prepared to be called out for being an arrogant fuckwit.

This message has been brought to you by those of us that don't need comments, or ass kissers in order to live.

Now back to my training.

Like I stated in my last picture upload I am working on a BDSM series of pictures. (or maybe that was on SF O_o) I still haven't drawn another hardcore image as of yet. However I do have one that I have been hanging onto. It is still in it's WIP stages. I still need to do a bit more in research and reference hunting to feed the muse with.

Please hang in there with me while this goes on. I am a bit overwhelmed with life right now. I feel as if I have bit off a little more then I can chew with the BDSM scene. I am trying to organize and regulate my days. I am preparing for sub training. This is going to take a lot of time and mental preparation for me. (wish me luck!)

I do still fully intend to draw these pictures. If you're curious about any of this feel free to ask me anything. You should know that I am a very open and honest person.

Unknown to us we were going to get a cat yesterday. Went to Petco to get supplies for our current cats and Banzai. When we arrived they weren't open yet, so we opted to stay by the doors. We kept hearing these little desperate mews on the other side of them. Both my mom and me thought it was so cute, and we wanted to do what ever we could to comfort the little kitty that was making the noise.

When we walked in, after they unlocked the doors, there was a lone little kitten in a cage to our right. We cooed and sweet talked to her. She replied back by playing with our fingers, allowing us to give her chin gentle scratches.

We walked away and again she began to cry. It broke our hearts. The farther away we walked the louder she got. We stopped behind some shelves and looked at each other. Mom asked me if I was thinking about it, and I said I was. She admitted that she was thinking about it as well.

I walked back to the cage and asked the workers how much she was. After getting the supplies for the others in the house I filled out the paperwork, and they boxed up the kitten. I didn't even have to change her name, it was too perfect.

So now we have a little kitten in the house. She is feisty, and takes nothing from no one, not even Banzai. Mom says "she's all that and chips." I have to agree.

Xposted- SoFurry, Lj

 Skylight and I had a great weekend. He got here Friday night. We ate Steak 'n' Shake (he loved the shake) and spent some time catching up.

Saturday we went over to a friends house before heading down to the parade rout. The parade was fun, and there were a LOT of drunk people. Sky and I had fun watching them. I got a lot of drunken complements on my hair, and my ass. I dressed in my pirate outfit, but I did not suit. The last thing I need is some idiot spilling a drink on her. Sky recorded as much of the parade as he could. We got whacked by beads quite a few times. lol

My back started hurting, so we had to head back to my friend's house. Like a 'tard I could not remember the code to get into the house. Turns out I had the code right, but the door was shut in a weird way, and would not unlock. Huuuurr. Sky contemplated knocking in a window screen, but I wouldn't let him. On the phone my mom had to direct me on what to do, and we FINALLY got in.

Worn out Sky and I went into my old room, and laid down for a bit. I got the most incredible back massage of my life.

Yesterday I was worn out still, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Poor Sky was fighting to keep me awake. I have no idea what was wrong with me! I felt horrible for wanting to sleep so much. All weekend seemed to be like that. I'm so sorry Sky, I wanted to spend time with you. My body just wouldn't let me.

I got a pirate outfit for the Gasparilla Pirate Parade! Turns out there is a local shop here in town where a lady makes and sells pirate attire.

When I went in, there was a guy getting an outfit for Gaparilla as well. Lucky fella, he is on a crew. I wish that I could get on a crew with Marine. That would be awesome! Even the lady there thought it would be great if a crew would take me on as a mascot. We talked about the pirate crews and how hard it is to get on them. It cost a lot of money to be on a float.

Now, do I just want to do the day parade, the night parade, or both? The day parade is more family oriented and there will be lots of kiddies. Night parade is full of adults, boobies, and beer. While the day parade is safer they don't give out the "adult" size beads. I'm leaning toward doing both, I'll just leave early at the night parade. Hopefully before things get to drunken crazy.

I got a tip from the lady at the shop, "go to the staging area." She seems to have her finger on the pulse of the parade, so I'll take her advice.

Mom and I are going to AC together. I hope to have my Sweets suit ready by then. I have the bomber jacket and boots on their way, and I just got done ordering some noise makers for squeak talking. I need to order the fur, and get the foam head base from  drakonicknight. Once all of that is here I can start working on sewing the partial.

I STILL need to get my sewing machine serviced. *looks at phone* Hmm.....

So...I have been thinking about it, and I want to make a pirate outfit for Gasparilla http://www.whatsonwhen.com/sisp/?fx=event&event_id=146165 It is pretty much the local version of Martigras. Oh and the boat they mention? Anyone know of the porn film "Pirates"? Yeah, it was filmed locally on that boat.

Okay, maybe I'm not saying this right. I want to make an outfit for my fursuit! I want to suit at the parade. XD I only have a partial, and I think something like a hat or bandanas would be enough. I need to get a hold of some locals and see what we can pull together and do. If this works out it is going to be so amazing.

Eeee! I want to draw Marine as a pirate now.

Yay! French toast for breakfast!

I want every TSA agent lined up in front of me so that I can KICK EVERY ONE OF THOSE FUCKERS IN THE GROIN!!!! I got a hard cased suit case for a REASON! I thought 'there is no way that my suit head can get harmed in there.' ...TSA found a way...they fucking found a way. They took things from inside the suitcase and shoved them in the pouch that was right above my fursuit head. Then they closed the suitcase to where the stuff would CRUSH my suit head!@!! How sadistically STUPID are you fuckers?!?!

If you were expecting journals or updates from anyone at MFF this past weekend, you weren't going to get them. That Hotel is an internet black hole! So many of us wanted to update and let everyone know what was going on, but at the tune of $15 every time you can safely assume we did not. The only way we were able to give updates was through twitter, we couldn't even see what each other were saying!

I feel one hundred percent complete. I got to see the Jim Henson display at Chicago MOSI, and the u-boat that the Americans captured during WWII (1944). I have never got so many hugs, or complements in one place in all my life. I have never felt more loved or at home, unless I was home with my mom. I am going to miss it.

I told DG that it was a good con considering that I hadn't cried. I don't think I will ever go to another anime con after this. Every convention I had gone to in the anime community, I have cried. Either from drama, loneliness, or things going wrong. At anime conventions everyone is trying to out do every other person. It's like a huge competition. Not furry cons. You are family at furry conventions, everyone loves you, even if you don't know them. Sad to say, I did cry. I cried during closing ceremonies.

It was one of the best adventures of my life, and I will never forget that. I want to have so many more adventures with you all in the future. I look forward to many fuzzy hugs.

Now I'm crying again because I asked my mom if she would like to go to a furry convention, and she said yes.

Where are you staying?:
Hayatt

What day are you getting there?:
Tomorrow, Thursday

How long are you going?:
The whole con.

Who will you be rooming with?:
DG

What is your gender?:
Female

How old are you?:
26

How tall are you?:
5'6"

What suits will you have?:
two partial suits of Marine.

Can I touch you?:
Yes! I have no problems with pets or cuddles.

Can I talk to you?:
Yeah. Forgive me if I am quiet though, I'm shy.

Can I take pictures with you?
Sure. ^.^

Are you nice?:
I'd like to think so, but you'll have to determine that yourself.

Can I stalk you?:
Sure, just don't go following me to my room. I get wicked paranoid in hotels.

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
I guess.

Can I hug or snuggle you?:
Yeeeeees, I'm a snuggle bunny.

Do you do trades?:
no. ._.

Do you have an artist table?:
No. ^^;

Do you like parties?:
Yes! I love furry parties!

What should I not do around you?:
Don't bring up politics, religion, or try to "accidentally" grope me.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?:
Wave and say "Senora Kitty!" or "Marine!"

Marine has her own facebook! http://www.facebook.com/SenoraKitty?v=wall

I am almost done with packing for MWFF, and I hope to meet a bunch of you there.

After MFF, and Thanksgiving...maybe closer to Christmas I will be working on making a sugar glider fursuit of Sweets. I think I'll keep it as a partial so I can wear the bomber jacket and pants. I have a great idea for the skin flaps as well.

I really want to make a sugar glider in an aviation outfit. I can picture her in my head and she is so freaking adorable. Little aviation goggles and leather jacket. XD

The fursuit maker has found a place to stay, a job, and might have a space to work on her commissions. If everything works out the extra three month extension, that she asked for, might be lifted. In other words, I might be getting my suit in time for MFF. *crosses her fingers*

Along with the suits, the maker says that for all the stress that this has caused she will be adding a $300 gift to the package. It's to be s surprise though. I wonder what it could be. o.o

I feel like I just got scammed out of $670. Not cool. This is stressing me to the point of panic attacks, and I fear another hospital visit. I want to scream, cry, and beat the shit out of someone.

I am so glad that I have taken up the stance on not commenting on other people's drama. People will be stupid, that sadly is a fact. What people need to understand is that they don't have to follow the leader in putting in their own two cents.

There has been a lot of drama floating around the more popular furs in the community as of late. Some of them even start it themselves then get their followers to buff them up when others disagree. I have nothing to say on the subjects themselves, however I for one am disgusted with the actions of all those involved. ALL of you. Grow the fuck up and learn to keep your issues to yourself.

Awesome, I just came up with a name for the snow leopard padawan. From here on out she will be known as Si'kra.

Name: Si'kra Oriwanzu
Age: 23
Sex: Female
Species: Snow Leopard
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 170lbs.

Appearance:
- Hair and fur: White hair with silver low lights. Gray, black, and white fur.
- Markings: black spots along her sides and back ranging from small dapples to large rings. Larger rings of black go down the dorsal of her tail ending in a fully black tail tip.
- Eye color: Blue
- Other features: Burgundy nose
Behavior and Personality:

Skills: light saber, aerobatics in combat, dodging, healing, force push
Weaknesses: Holds back even if her life is in danger, controlling the force, force push

Likes: Gardens, nature
Dislikes: Hurting people, seeing friends get hurt

History:

Si'kra entered the counsel as a youngling. It was soon learned in a sparring match with another Jedi Apprentice that she had a stronger then average connection with the force. During the match she force pushed her opponent, severely injuring the child. The event traumatized Si'kra to the point where she holds back in combat when it comes to using the force. Even in times when she should use it. It became difficult for her to control the force, even for the simplest of tasks. Her first attempt at creating a light saber resulted in the weapon blowing up in her face. Si'kra redirected her studies to those of a healer, shying away from using her full potential.

In her twelfth year as an apprentice the Jedi Master Har To Qwain took her on as his Padawan. He saw in Si'kra her hidden potential and seeks to bring it forth. His goal is to have her come to grips with herself and learn to let go of her fears. Har To also holds back his own secrets from Si'kra and the counsel. Her Master's drive often frustrates Si'kra making her prone to outbursts at her teacher.

 degei and I will be checking this out http://www.msichicago.org/whats-her.....ntastic-world/ when I arrive in Chicago for MFF. He's going to take the day off and pick me up from the air port, then we'll head to museum until time for check in. I just hope we don't cry while looking at the exhibits. Deeg and I both love Jim Henson, and we miss his work.

Oh thank god this month is almost over with. It feels like just yesterday I was asking if it was October yet. *evil hand rub* I can't wait to get my suit. I'm going to prod  keryu and ask how things are going. I haven't gotten word from her in a while and my mom is starting to nag me about it.

It is finally starting to smell and feel like fall down here. *purr* I love this feeling.