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Its about a girl . . .
Posted 18 years agoWHO I HATE!
Ahh girl stories, gotta love em.
Well there is this girl who I used to think was really great and lately I learned all the horrible things about her. She is the biggest hypocrite I know, she is very bitchy, very rude, desperate for attention, a drama whore, FUCKED UP A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE, comes on pretty slutty, is overly aggresive, and lets not forget FAR TOO SENSITIVE!
I gotta say the one song that makes me think of her more than any other is "When You're Around" by Motion City Soundtrack.
Midwest love affair,
I bend when I am bored,
Late night liquor blue will lead me to the floor,
Can we fake it can we make believe,
I'm so full of love it deeply sickens me (not full of love for her!)
But all i could do is close my eyes and cross my arms and hope to die,
Cause you don't fucking listen when I'm around,
THe least you could do is take it back all those viciouse remarks and verbal attacks,
Cause I can't fucking stand it when your around,
Midwest aftermath the rumors start to rise
Did I truly do the things that you described
They must hate me every single one
It just sickens them what I consider fun
But all i could do is close my eyes and cross my arms and hope to die,
Cause you don't fucking listen when I'm around,
THe least you could do is take it back all those viciouse remarks and verbal attacks,
Cause I can't fucking stand it when your around
She turned my friends against me with lies. She is generaly rude to me, throwing personal attacks my way and whenever I make any sort of comment she blows it out of proportion and gets mad at me because "I am being an ass" THAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST, and I am so damn respectful of her, never saying any of this, usually keeping my mouth shut when she's around, granted I can be an ass, but I havn't been that bad to her.
Hell she even claimed that I was only being friends with a couple people to piss her off, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? What kind of bull is that? I wasn't a jerk right back, oh no, I just walked away without yelling her out. However she did apologize later so I thank her for that. Still my thoughts of her have gone from friendly to want her to get the fuck away from me before I snap.
XD well thats all for now, I'm sure noone wants to hear me rant lol.
Oh and noone ask me who this is because I won't tell.
Ahh girl stories, gotta love em.
Well there is this girl who I used to think was really great and lately I learned all the horrible things about her. She is the biggest hypocrite I know, she is very bitchy, very rude, desperate for attention, a drama whore, FUCKED UP A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE, comes on pretty slutty, is overly aggresive, and lets not forget FAR TOO SENSITIVE!
I gotta say the one song that makes me think of her more than any other is "When You're Around" by Motion City Soundtrack.
Midwest love affair,
I bend when I am bored,
Late night liquor blue will lead me to the floor,
Can we fake it can we make believe,
I'm so full of love it deeply sickens me (not full of love for her!)
But all i could do is close my eyes and cross my arms and hope to die,
Cause you don't fucking listen when I'm around,
THe least you could do is take it back all those viciouse remarks and verbal attacks,
Cause I can't fucking stand it when your around,
Midwest aftermath the rumors start to rise
Did I truly do the things that you described
They must hate me every single one
It just sickens them what I consider fun
But all i could do is close my eyes and cross my arms and hope to die,
Cause you don't fucking listen when I'm around,
THe least you could do is take it back all those viciouse remarks and verbal attacks,
Cause I can't fucking stand it when your around
She turned my friends against me with lies. She is generaly rude to me, throwing personal attacks my way and whenever I make any sort of comment she blows it out of proportion and gets mad at me because "I am being an ass" THAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST, and I am so damn respectful of her, never saying any of this, usually keeping my mouth shut when she's around, granted I can be an ass, but I havn't been that bad to her.
Hell she even claimed that I was only being friends with a couple people to piss her off, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? What kind of bull is that? I wasn't a jerk right back, oh no, I just walked away without yelling her out. However she did apologize later so I thank her for that. Still my thoughts of her have gone from friendly to want her to get the fuck away from me before I snap.
XD well thats all for now, I'm sure noone wants to hear me rant lol.
Oh and noone ask me who this is because I won't tell.
I'm sore and my training starts now.
Posted 18 years agoYesterday Donavan, Devon and I hiked up into the mountains and brawled. Basicaly Donavan and I went at it for about thirty minutes. I didn't stand a chance but I lasted longer than I had hoped. I got a few good hits in there but after a couple rounds I had my knee slammed into a rock and my arms were so thrashed from blocking and a possibly broken knuckle that I could barely stand. I sure as hell couldn't move my arms. I am covered in cuts and bruises now XD Devon had to drag me out of the ring to rest because I literaly couldn't walk. Then five minutes later we spared again. Ohh the pain I am feeling XD. It was a fun night though. Also we were watching Avatar and were so inspired that we each took on a different style to start training in. We watched a few videos and learned the basics and now Devon, Donavan and I are going to train ourselves in seperate types of Chinese Martial Arts.
Donavan is training in the Air Bending style (Ba Gua)
I am training in the Earth Bending style (Hun Gar)
And Devon is training in Water Bending style (Northern Shaolin)
If you want to learn about any of these just note me and I will talk to you about them.
Donavan is training in the Air Bending style (Ba Gua)
I am training in the Earth Bending style (Hun Gar)
And Devon is training in Water Bending style (Northern Shaolin)
If you want to learn about any of these just note me and I will talk to you about them.
I am back from Disney Land
Posted 18 years agoAND I AM SICK OF THE HAPPIEST FREAKIN PLACE ON EARTH
I was there for three days and I am pooped I got so much stuff, lots of pictures (will show soon) A cell phone, and I rode just about every ride there multiple times (except its a small world) and I tackle hugged Goofy XD. If you want to know anything else just note me but I am tired -dies-
I was there for three days and I am pooped I got so much stuff, lots of pictures (will show soon) A cell phone, and I rode just about every ride there multiple times (except its a small world) and I tackle hugged Goofy XD. If you want to know anything else just note me but I am tired -dies-
Back to California . . . again -eye roll-
Posted 18 years agoUgh, I have been back for like four days and now I am going BACK to California with a different aunt. One that neglected us for ten years and is rich so she likes to buy our love, YAY! Me and my sister and aunt are going to Orange County and are going to spend our time in Disney Land. Fun yes, but I don't want to leave the forest, so see you all soon I guess.
I'M BACK BEETCHES
Posted 18 years agoFinaly, I am out of the dreaded California and back home to Colorado. It was a two day drive but we drove through the night and got in at about 4:00 a.m. I took lots of pictures in Cali but I don't know when I will get them developed since I have no money and there is A LOT of rolls of film. When I do though I will post them.
Save The Wolves
Posted 18 years agoPresident Bush is being a retard and trying to kill off the wolves in Yellow Stone. Please sign this petition so that we can stop his mass spread of stupidity and save the wolves we love, SO THOSE WOLFY FURSONA ASSES OF YOURS DON'T END UP ON A MANTLE!
https://secure2.convio.net/dow/site.....amp;amp;id=789
https://secure2.convio.net/dow/site.....amp;amp;id=789
Actual Permit
Posted 18 years agoYay they just mailed me my ACTUAL permit today. Nice organ doner shiny plastic and everything!
Lol now its official. Of course my picture is horrible, because I had to take off the glasses and get all the bangs out of my face, but I just hope I don't lose it.
Lol now its official. Of course my picture is horrible, because I had to take off the glasses and get all the bangs out of my face, but I just hope I don't lose it.
Lightning
Posted 18 years agoWell I was jut out in the freezing rain using two rolls of filt to capture lightning in a horrible and very rainy storm. Twas cold, twas wet. But definately worth it. My camera is a stupid automatic and there by slow so the best I probably got was just the light reflecting the mountains. When I tried to use my moms manual she freaked out because suddenly it didn't work -eye roll- I barely did anything to it. Well hopefully they will all work out and then I will post them.
I JUST GOT MY PERMIT
Posted 18 years ago-does the happy dance and starts singing- I just got my peeeerrrmit, I just got my peeeerrrmit, I just got my peeeerrrrmit
Meh beh happeh !
I just went down to the horrible building where dreams are crushed are and license are taken. But it was surprisingly good for me. They took a picture and handed me my permit, though I had to get all the hair out of my face so I looked completely different XD, well on the point, Setsuna is on the road, YE BE WARNED!
Meh beh happeh !
I just went down to the horrible building where dreams are crushed are and license are taken. But it was surprisingly good for me. They took a picture and handed me my permit, though I had to get all the hair out of my face so I looked completely different XD, well on the point, Setsuna is on the road, YE BE WARNED!
Stolen from Travg, stolen from Spence
Posted 18 years ago1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No I am a law abiding white citizen -eye roll-
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
never been on one but if I have been I would say KEEP EM OPEN PUSSIES!
3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
Couple years back or so
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
I like to cuddle when I sleep, except for sometimes . . . I like to be alone in those cases
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
PSSHHH no
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
If you give me a camera then yes, if you let my mind run free then yes, if you stick me in a class room then kiss my whitey ass.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
THE NINJA'S DID IT, O.J. is leading the army of martian ninja Mexicans and he is going to turn EVERYONE INTO THE PERFECT BREAKFAST JUICE . . . yeah he killed her.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
EWWWW, I don't really like girls so I am going to go with
Billy Joe or Ewan Mcgregor (did I spell that right?)
9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
I love and adore politics. I research all I can know so I have method to my hateing of the corrupted government.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
Did it once with gold fish, I went hungry that day.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
I may not sleep at night but I sleep on every park bench I find. So not really ^.^
12. What's your favorite commercial?
ummmmm the one where the lady shoots her kids lol. This insurance guy walks up to the house and she starts thanking him and saying its hard with four boys and there is yelling in the background and he walks off and you hear "Who wants to be quiet?" and a gun shot lol I love it. But I am morbid. I am sure there are others but I havn't thought of any.
13. Who was your first love?
Becca.
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
I went to drivers ed for four days so I am obligated to say, if you run a red light I will personaly kick your fucking ass. Cars can from nowhere you retards >.<
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Oh course . . . I mean no! -.-
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
I was raised right by Boston, what do you think? Though I don't like baseball, hate for the Yankees is burned into my sould, GO RED SOX!!
17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yeah I was forced to do it for three years.
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Never anymore, I hate my dreams.
19. What's the one thing on your mind?
A friends death and the rest I'd rather not say.
20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
ALWAYS
21. What talent do you wish you had?
Drawing, without a doubt
22. Do you like Sushi?
LOVE is more like it
23. What do you wear to bed?
pants or just boxers. Pants when I am hugging on someone.
24. Do you truly hate anyone?
. . . I hate MANY people but I don't truly hate anyone.
25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Sex doesn't really interest me anymore.
26. Do you know anyone in jail?
Yeah but not well
27. What food do you find disgusting?
Esparagus
28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
If they are truly my friend then I would only do it jokingly. I have made fun of people who are sorta my friend but sometimes I don't like behind their backs but I tell them afterwords cause I am not a pussy like that >.<
29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
God I wish
30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
100% athiest, get this into your heads people
and the other 100 FUCKING QUESTIONS
1. How old will you be in five years? 20
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? Becca
3. How tall are you? I don't know 6 foot or a little over
4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? Hanging out with Donavan, or going to California
5. What's the last movie you saw? That Ratatoullie movie
6. Who was the last person you called? Terran
7. Who was the last person to call you? Becca
8. What was the last text message you received? No cell phone, why do you all keep rubbing this in my face T_T
9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? I don't know, nor do I care.
10. Do you prefer to call or text? YOU ARE JUST MEAN!
11. What were you doing at 12am last night? talking to Becca viva Yahoo.
12. Are your parents married/divorced? Married happily for over twenty years.
13. When did you last see your mom? Three minutes ago regrettably
14. What color are your eyes? Brown, and green when turned on
15. What time did you wake up today? 6:30 a.m.
16. What are you wearing right now? A black shirt, baggy dark jeans, black socks and . . . well I was wearing a hat Terran made.
17. What is your favorite Christmas song? Do You See What I see
18. Where is your favorite place to be? Donavan's house
19. Where is your least favorite place to be? So many places I can't even begin to mention
20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Donavans house (at this exact point in time)
21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? Somewhere in the mountains or forests photographing carniverous animals and scenery
22. Do you tan or burn? I kind of burn but I am as whitey as it gets, no tanning for me.
23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? The monsters on my wall
24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh? Spencers jokes
25. How many TVs do you have in your house? Three
26. How big is your bed? Queen sized
27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? Desktop, I want a laptop
28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I prefer without, but I usualy sleep in pants.
29. What color are your sheets? Light green
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? like six
31. What is your favorite season? Autumn (ohh the aspen)
33. What do you like about winter? Christmas
34. What do you like about the summer? . . .
35. What do you like about spring? Easter?
36. How many states/provinces have you lived in? . . .one . . . two . . . three, yeah three states.
37. What cities/towns have you lived in? West Bridge Water, Massachusettes
Woonsocket, Rhode Island
Durango, Colorado
38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? Bare feet all the way beeatches
39. Are you a social person? Very, I sniffed my friends butt as a first impression
40. What was the last thing you ate? A tortilla chip and I regret it
41. What is your favorite restaurant? Meh I don't know.
42. What is your favorite ice cream? I love Strawberry and Peach ^.^ ohh and smex flavored
43. What is your favorite dessert? Meh don't have one
44. What is your favorite kind of soup? Anything meaty and with peppers
45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? Strawberry
46. Do you like Chinese food? Lol I do now
47. Do you like coffee? I LOVE IT, though my parents forbid me from the brown life force.
48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average? Two or three, I love water.
49. What do you drink in the morning? Water
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? The side closest to the moon
52. Do you know how to play poker? Didn't we already go through this?
53. Do you like to cuddle? One of my favorite pass times, if you don't believe me ask Becca or Spence lol
54. Have you ever been to Canada? Once when I was young, I have loved it ever since
55. Do you have an addictive personality? Yeah . . . yeah I guess I do.
56. Do you eat out or at home more often? At home.
58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? No, one day off though
59. Do you want kids? Yeah I want a boy.
60. Do you speak any other languages? I know some Spanish, I am far from fluent though.
61. Have you ever gotten stitches? Not that I can remember
62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yeah I broke seven bones in a sledding accident -looks up to one of the first questions- lol I was totaly out though.
63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool? OCEAN WOOEEET
64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats? Window, I can stare off into space and ignore peoples lives
65. Do you know how to drive stick? No and I don't intend to learn
66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on? Manga
67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? A small ring in my left ear. I used to wear 16gage loops but this one kind of smallened the holes.
68. What is your favorite TV show? Scrubs, who doesn't?
69. Can you roll your tongue? YES -is a horrible lier-
70. Who is the funniest person you know? Donavan
71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Not anymore, I still have them though
72. What is the main ring tone on your phone? If there is one more cell phone question constantly mocking me I swear I am going to cry.
73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? No, happy memories of my past will simply remain in my mind.
74. What red object is closest to you right now? My bloody arm
75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? Should I not?
76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Open, I don't believe in ghosts remember
77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Are you kidding? Bees! I WOULD PUNCH EVERY ONE OF THOSE BEES IN THE FACE (lol Dane Cook)
78. Do you flirt a lot? I used to fake flirt with guys, but I can't really do that anymore.
79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? YO MOMMA (sorry I had to) Ketchup mostly
80. What is your favorite food? Salad? Spahgetti and Teriaki Steak. Umm I don't like vegetables but I am trying to get into them.
81. Can you change the oil on a car? Never cared to try.
82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? I just got my permit like two days ago! So no.
83. Have you ever run out of gas? No
84. What is your usual bedtime? When the moon is at its highest
85. What was the last book you read? Watership Down, I suggest you all read it.
86. Do you read the newspaper? Occasionaly when there is something worth my time. I intend to read the obituaries to find my friend though.
87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Not currently
89. Do you watch soap operas? HAHAHAHAAHAAAHAAAAA, wait are you serious?
90. Do you dance in the car? Meh + Dance = Opocolips
91. What radio station did you last listen to? COOL 104.5
92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you? My sisters
93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper? When did the world go to fuck
94. What is your favorite candle scent? Anything that smells good
95. What is your favorite board game? Parcheezy, or monopoly
97. When was the last time you attended church? -twitches- a couple years back for some friends
98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? Herald Boyd, my photography teacher and mentor. Taught me so much, and now he left for Texas.
99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent? Three days I think, for a field trip in elementary school when kids started hating me so they liked to throw rocks at me.
100. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you? Becca
No I am a law abiding white citizen -eye roll-
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
never been on one but if I have been I would say KEEP EM OPEN PUSSIES!
3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
Couple years back or so
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
I like to cuddle when I sleep, except for sometimes . . . I like to be alone in those cases
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
PSSHHH no
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
If you give me a camera then yes, if you let my mind run free then yes, if you stick me in a class room then kiss my whitey ass.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
THE NINJA'S DID IT, O.J. is leading the army of martian ninja Mexicans and he is going to turn EVERYONE INTO THE PERFECT BREAKFAST JUICE . . . yeah he killed her.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
EWWWW, I don't really like girls so I am going to go with
Billy Joe or Ewan Mcgregor (did I spell that right?)
9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
I love and adore politics. I research all I can know so I have method to my hateing of the corrupted government.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
Did it once with gold fish, I went hungry that day.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
I may not sleep at night but I sleep on every park bench I find. So not really ^.^
12. What's your favorite commercial?
ummmmm the one where the lady shoots her kids lol. This insurance guy walks up to the house and she starts thanking him and saying its hard with four boys and there is yelling in the background and he walks off and you hear "Who wants to be quiet?" and a gun shot lol I love it. But I am morbid. I am sure there are others but I havn't thought of any.
13. Who was your first love?
Becca.
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
I went to drivers ed for four days so I am obligated to say, if you run a red light I will personaly kick your fucking ass. Cars can from nowhere you retards >.<
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Oh course . . . I mean no! -.-
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
I was raised right by Boston, what do you think? Though I don't like baseball, hate for the Yankees is burned into my sould, GO RED SOX!!
17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yeah I was forced to do it for three years.
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Never anymore, I hate my dreams.
19. What's the one thing on your mind?
A friends death and the rest I'd rather not say.
20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
ALWAYS
21. What talent do you wish you had?
Drawing, without a doubt
22. Do you like Sushi?
LOVE is more like it
23. What do you wear to bed?
pants or just boxers. Pants when I am hugging on someone.
24. Do you truly hate anyone?
. . . I hate MANY people but I don't truly hate anyone.
25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Sex doesn't really interest me anymore.
26. Do you know anyone in jail?
Yeah but not well
27. What food do you find disgusting?
Esparagus
28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
If they are truly my friend then I would only do it jokingly. I have made fun of people who are sorta my friend but sometimes I don't like behind their backs but I tell them afterwords cause I am not a pussy like that >.<
29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
God I wish
30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
100% athiest, get this into your heads people
and the other 100 FUCKING QUESTIONS
1. How old will you be in five years? 20
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? Becca
3. How tall are you? I don't know 6 foot or a little over
4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? Hanging out with Donavan, or going to California
5. What's the last movie you saw? That Ratatoullie movie
6. Who was the last person you called? Terran
7. Who was the last person to call you? Becca
8. What was the last text message you received? No cell phone, why do you all keep rubbing this in my face T_T
9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? I don't know, nor do I care.
10. Do you prefer to call or text? YOU ARE JUST MEAN!
11. What were you doing at 12am last night? talking to Becca viva Yahoo.
12. Are your parents married/divorced? Married happily for over twenty years.
13. When did you last see your mom? Three minutes ago regrettably
14. What color are your eyes? Brown, and green when turned on
15. What time did you wake up today? 6:30 a.m.
16. What are you wearing right now? A black shirt, baggy dark jeans, black socks and . . . well I was wearing a hat Terran made.
17. What is your favorite Christmas song? Do You See What I see
18. Where is your favorite place to be? Donavan's house
19. Where is your least favorite place to be? So many places I can't even begin to mention
20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Donavans house (at this exact point in time)
21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? Somewhere in the mountains or forests photographing carniverous animals and scenery
22. Do you tan or burn? I kind of burn but I am as whitey as it gets, no tanning for me.
23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? The monsters on my wall
24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh? Spencers jokes
25. How many TVs do you have in your house? Three
26. How big is your bed? Queen sized
27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? Desktop, I want a laptop
28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I prefer without, but I usualy sleep in pants.
29. What color are your sheets? Light green
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? like six
31. What is your favorite season? Autumn (ohh the aspen)
33. What do you like about winter? Christmas
34. What do you like about the summer? . . .
35. What do you like about spring? Easter?
36. How many states/provinces have you lived in? . . .one . . . two . . . three, yeah three states.
37. What cities/towns have you lived in? West Bridge Water, Massachusettes
Woonsocket, Rhode Island
Durango, Colorado
38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? Bare feet all the way beeatches
39. Are you a social person? Very, I sniffed my friends butt as a first impression
40. What was the last thing you ate? A tortilla chip and I regret it
41. What is your favorite restaurant? Meh I don't know.
42. What is your favorite ice cream? I love Strawberry and Peach ^.^ ohh and smex flavored
43. What is your favorite dessert? Meh don't have one
44. What is your favorite kind of soup? Anything meaty and with peppers
45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? Strawberry
46. Do you like Chinese food? Lol I do now
47. Do you like coffee? I LOVE IT, though my parents forbid me from the brown life force.
48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average? Two or three, I love water.
49. What do you drink in the morning? Water
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? The side closest to the moon
52. Do you know how to play poker? Didn't we already go through this?
53. Do you like to cuddle? One of my favorite pass times, if you don't believe me ask Becca or Spence lol
54. Have you ever been to Canada? Once when I was young, I have loved it ever since
55. Do you have an addictive personality? Yeah . . . yeah I guess I do.
56. Do you eat out or at home more often? At home.
58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? No, one day off though
59. Do you want kids? Yeah I want a boy.
60. Do you speak any other languages? I know some Spanish, I am far from fluent though.
61. Have you ever gotten stitches? Not that I can remember
62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yeah I broke seven bones in a sledding accident -looks up to one of the first questions- lol I was totaly out though.
63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool? OCEAN WOOEEET
64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats? Window, I can stare off into space and ignore peoples lives
65. Do you know how to drive stick? No and I don't intend to learn
66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on? Manga
67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? A small ring in my left ear. I used to wear 16gage loops but this one kind of smallened the holes.
68. What is your favorite TV show? Scrubs, who doesn't?
69. Can you roll your tongue? YES -is a horrible lier-
70. Who is the funniest person you know? Donavan
71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Not anymore, I still have them though
72. What is the main ring tone on your phone? If there is one more cell phone question constantly mocking me I swear I am going to cry.
73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? No, happy memories of my past will simply remain in my mind.
74. What red object is closest to you right now? My bloody arm
75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? Should I not?
76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Open, I don't believe in ghosts remember
77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Are you kidding? Bees! I WOULD PUNCH EVERY ONE OF THOSE BEES IN THE FACE (lol Dane Cook)
78. Do you flirt a lot? I used to fake flirt with guys, but I can't really do that anymore.
79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? YO MOMMA (sorry I had to) Ketchup mostly
80. What is your favorite food? Salad? Spahgetti and Teriaki Steak. Umm I don't like vegetables but I am trying to get into them.
81. Can you change the oil on a car? Never cared to try.
82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? I just got my permit like two days ago! So no.
83. Have you ever run out of gas? No
84. What is your usual bedtime? When the moon is at its highest
85. What was the last book you read? Watership Down, I suggest you all read it.
86. Do you read the newspaper? Occasionaly when there is something worth my time. I intend to read the obituaries to find my friend though.
87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Not currently
89. Do you watch soap operas? HAHAHAHAAHAAAHAAAAA, wait are you serious?
90. Do you dance in the car? Meh + Dance = Opocolips
91. What radio station did you last listen to? COOL 104.5
92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you? My sisters
93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper? When did the world go to fuck
94. What is your favorite candle scent? Anything that smells good
95. What is your favorite board game? Parcheezy, or monopoly
97. When was the last time you attended church? -twitches- a couple years back for some friends
98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? Herald Boyd, my photography teacher and mentor. Taught me so much, and now he left for Texas.
99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent? Three days I think, for a field trip in elementary school when kids started hating me so they liked to throw rocks at me.
100. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you? Becca
When did the world go to fuck?
Posted 18 years agoAnyone know? Cause I sure don't. I mean don't get me wrong I always new the world was a shit hole covered in bastards with bastard filling, but when exactly did it get to the point when a young girl is hit by a car and injured and the car just drives off and never gets help. When did humans turn to cold blooded murderes even against their on kin. I want to know that, because at that time is when my love for life and everything the world holds for humans died.
Please . . .
Posted 18 years agoI'm begging you, could someone please just give me a reason to live today?
My sister just died . . .
Posted 18 years agoI mean she wasn't my biological sister but I consider that family my family. She was like a sister to me even if I didn't know her as well as some. She wasn't a bad person, she had some bad values but she wasn't even twenty . . .
SHE WASN'T OLD ENOUGH TO FUCKING DIE DAMNIT, SHE WASN'T A BAD PERSON!
She hit her head and was taken to the hospital in Denver. Her mom just called me and told me the news. I am in shock. I don't think I have really grasped it yet but I don't know what the fuck to do. She was a great girl and always nice to me. She may have been kind of an ass but she made me laugh right. Why the fuck did she have to die? Everything was going great too. I think I am going to go take a walk. On which I will probably realized what just happened and break down. Or throw up. See ya.
SHE WASN'T OLD ENOUGH TO FUCKING DIE DAMNIT, SHE WASN'T A BAD PERSON!
She hit her head and was taken to the hospital in Denver. Her mom just called me and told me the news. I am in shock. I don't think I have really grasped it yet but I don't know what the fuck to do. She was a great girl and always nice to me. She may have been kind of an ass but she made me laugh right. Why the fuck did she have to die? Everything was going great too. I think I am going to go take a walk. On which I will probably realized what just happened and break down. Or throw up. See ya.
Drivers Ed
Posted 18 years ago SUCKS!!!
Honestly I thought normal school was bad. I thought I knew boredom >.< well f**k that. Eight hours my ass. It feels more like sixteen. The first day I fell asleep four times. You only get thirty minutes to eat which is barely enough time to run to the nearest restraunt and make it back in time. The second day was all tests and reading through four hundred pages! I think I would have killed myself if I didn't have loud metal music and the fact that ever ten minute break (there are only two) I was able to sprint six blocks and say hello to my friend for about a minute and sprint back. To anyone who wants there permit, I recomend that they find a loop hole out of drivers ed. Two more days to go but at least now we get to watch videos.
((note: Setsuna is frightfully impatiant))
Honestly I thought normal school was bad. I thought I knew boredom >.< well f**k that. Eight hours my ass. It feels more like sixteen. The first day I fell asleep four times. You only get thirty minutes to eat which is barely enough time to run to the nearest restraunt and make it back in time. The second day was all tests and reading through four hundred pages! I think I would have killed myself if I didn't have loud metal music and the fact that ever ten minute break (there are only two) I was able to sprint six blocks and say hello to my friend for about a minute and sprint back. To anyone who wants there permit, I recomend that they find a loop hole out of drivers ed. Two more days to go but at least now we get to watch videos.
((note: Setsuna is frightfully impatiant))
Spiritual Journey
Posted 18 years agoMy best friend has been teaching me this stuff about spirituality and the spiritual animal inside everyone. He talks about how if someone meditated enough and really got a feel for there spirit animal that in a sence they could become that animal. Not like a full on transformation but more like in a mental state of being. So I decided why the hell not. I have started going into the forest and sitting there in deep meditation for a while. Listening to everything and seeing everything. Its very peaceful and I have learned a lot. Plus once you get really into it . . . strange things start to happen. I would go into detail about it but I doubt most of you would believe me. I have trouble believing it myself ^.^ Well I will make more of these entries if anyone is interested in hearing how it goes.
A me thing that I stole from Spence
Posted 18 years agoName: Trey (Setsuna)
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Current Location: My basement (somewhere in the Rocky Mountains -.-)
Eye Color: Dark Brown (hazel when I am really turned on)
Hair Color: Dark Brown
More Info…
Right handed or left: LEFTY ALL THE WAY BEEATCH
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius ^.^
Fears: Crying, staying weak, fear, life, myeself, being cliche . . . DAMNIT , but above all, reality
Favorite
Favorite fruit: Peach
Pepsi or Coke: Ummm . . . pepsi
Future Plans: Photographer. Besides that I don't like thinking about the future, it depresses me.
Your best physical feature: Umm probably near shoulder length dark wavy hair lol.
Single or taken: Engaged ((woot))
Favorite icecream store: THEY SELL ICECREAM ._@
Your Best Friend: Donavan
Have you...
Lied? PSHH ME LIE NEVER -awkward-
Gotton your hair dyed: once, it was washable and I was seven.
Smoked? one puff to see what it was like.
Done Drugs? Nope
Gotten Arrested? threatened to but no
Been out of the country? yeah, I went to Canada when I was young.
Witnessed a Crime? I am just about positive that I havn't, and if I have then I would have erased it from my memory a long time ago.
On the oppisite gender…
Best hair color: Dark, mostly brown and hazel.
Best eye color: Hazel (or anything with green)
Best clothing style: wierd! And gothic.
Best quality: . . . outlook on life I think.
I love: Those who heal
I hate: Those who hurt, and above all, myself.
I want: To find an escape
I need: To suck it up and use my pathetic life to make a difference in this shit hole we call earth.
I miss: My childhood, and mostly my childhood innocence. Everything from 8 back. Seven was a great age for me.
I don’t miss: 2006 . . .
I regret: Just about everything I did in 2006
First thing that comes to mind...
Happiness: Denial, ignorance
Anger: muah
Sadness: muah
Swingset: flying
Playground: smiles, and abuse
Ice cream: Green Tea flavored, now that was good
Music: Punk
Waffles: muffin please
Yay, that made me happy ^.^
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Current Location: My basement (somewhere in the Rocky Mountains -.-)
Eye Color: Dark Brown (hazel when I am really turned on)
Hair Color: Dark Brown
More Info…
Right handed or left: LEFTY ALL THE WAY BEEATCH
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius ^.^
Fears: Crying, staying weak, fear, life, myeself, being cliche . . . DAMNIT , but above all, reality
Favorite
Favorite fruit: Peach
Pepsi or Coke: Ummm . . . pepsi
Future Plans: Photographer. Besides that I don't like thinking about the future, it depresses me.
Your best physical feature: Umm probably near shoulder length dark wavy hair lol.
Single or taken: Engaged ((woot))
Favorite icecream store: THEY SELL ICECREAM ._@
Your Best Friend: Donavan
Have you...
Lied? PSHH ME LIE NEVER -awkward-
Gotton your hair dyed: once, it was washable and I was seven.
Smoked? one puff to see what it was like.
Done Drugs? Nope
Gotten Arrested? threatened to but no
Been out of the country? yeah, I went to Canada when I was young.
Witnessed a Crime? I am just about positive that I havn't, and if I have then I would have erased it from my memory a long time ago.
On the oppisite gender…
Best hair color: Dark, mostly brown and hazel.
Best eye color: Hazel (or anything with green)
Best clothing style: wierd! And gothic.
Best quality: . . . outlook on life I think.
I love: Those who heal
I hate: Those who hurt, and above all, myself.
I want: To find an escape
I need: To suck it up and use my pathetic life to make a difference in this shit hole we call earth.
I miss: My childhood, and mostly my childhood innocence. Everything from 8 back. Seven was a great age for me.
I don’t miss: 2006 . . .
I regret: Just about everything I did in 2006
First thing that comes to mind...
Happiness: Denial, ignorance
Anger: muah
Sadness: muah
Swingset: flying
Playground: smiles, and abuse
Ice cream: Green Tea flavored, now that was good
Music: Punk
Waffles: muffin please
Yay, that made me happy ^.^
Together -A responce I wrote to Escaping Reality by Rk_Sp
Posted 18 years agoIn the beginning,
Love turned to lust,
And your innocent heart,
Turned into dust,
This wasn’t your body,
This wasn’t your path,
God was playing a joke,
You learned his wrath,
The world around you quickly turned cold,
As you learned happiness was something,
That you couldn’t hold,
Everything around you turned to mud,
And your difference was to be repaid in your blood,
You learned of death and rape and hate,
You learned how to have your heart broken on just the first date,
To them you were nothing,
Lower than dirt,
But you remained strong,
Though your confidence was hurt,
Betrayal surrounded you,
Hidden in friends,
You learned that on only yourself,
Could you depend,
I didn’t get better,
Things went from bad to worse,
You looked for an escape,
From this unspoken curse,
But you learned some were true,
And not all were bad,
You remembered that trust,
And all you once had,
You could never forget,
You could never forgive,
But I want you to live,
I want you to let,
Let me help you through the worst,
Let another friend into your heart,
Many have been there,
Many know your art.
Don’t let your pen be your only escape,
Let me in your life and I can show you a way,
Let me help you,
And I will let you help me,
And we’ll have someone to count on,
In me you will have a friend forever,
And we can escape this cruel reality,
Together.
-Dedicated to Rk_Spence
Love turned to lust,
And your innocent heart,
Turned into dust,
This wasn’t your body,
This wasn’t your path,
God was playing a joke,
You learned his wrath,
The world around you quickly turned cold,
As you learned happiness was something,
That you couldn’t hold,
Everything around you turned to mud,
And your difference was to be repaid in your blood,
You learned of death and rape and hate,
You learned how to have your heart broken on just the first date,
To them you were nothing,
Lower than dirt,
But you remained strong,
Though your confidence was hurt,
Betrayal surrounded you,
Hidden in friends,
You learned that on only yourself,
Could you depend,
I didn’t get better,
Things went from bad to worse,
You looked for an escape,
From this unspoken curse,
But you learned some were true,
And not all were bad,
You remembered that trust,
And all you once had,
You could never forget,
You could never forgive,
But I want you to live,
I want you to let,
Let me help you through the worst,
Let another friend into your heart,
Many have been there,
Many know your art.
Don’t let your pen be your only escape,
Let me in your life and I can show you a way,
Let me help you,
And I will let you help me,
And we’ll have someone to count on,
In me you will have a friend forever,
And we can escape this cruel reality,
Together.
-Dedicated to Rk_Spence
Escape Reality -By Rk_Spence
Posted 18 years agoThis poem was written by a good friend of mine named Rk_Spence. He is an amazing poet with a sad story to tell. If any of you know someone who would benefit from this poem then please show them.
Sitting here, it makes me wonder who I really am. Am I compassionate and gentle? Or am I an aggressive and ravage canine? I don’t know anymore. After losing my friends, weather it be death or moving away, or even disappearance, I have begun to think about my own life, and where I’m heading to. Am I going to live a long and eventful life, full of happiness and joy in which I can cherish with a love of my own, or will I live a lonely and depressing life, in which the memories I will have, will be locked away in my emotional barrier?
I’m unsure, and I sometimes wonder if I really am meant to know the people I know today. I wonder why I am such an outcast, and why my appearance is the way it is. Why do I not like myself? Why do I wish to change myself so bad, that I am willing to push as far as I can, and even farther, even if it cost me my own life? Why do I admire so many cruel events that happen in time, and why do I take peoples’ advice, even when they tell me a fact not to do, and store it in my memory of how to change things. Why do I admire the fact of someone who pushed them so far to throw themselves in the hospital, and still agree to myself to try something similar?
How is it that when I was little, that I was easily loved, and not one soul cared what my appearance was, I was still equal to everyone else, we were all equal ranks. And yet…Now that I’ve hit the teenaged years, I am somehow an outcast. Actually, no, I am not an outcast, when you are an outcast you are noticed, even if it’s not for the best reason. But, I am not an outcast. I am nothing. I have no rank. Nobody notices me. And when they do, they want something. I can tell you now, I only have a few close friends, and what is worse; I can’t even count enough friends akin to one hand. I don’t have five friends; true friends, that is. Friends are people who will help you win or gain what you were looking for, by cheering you on and yelling out compliments. A true friend is someone who will do it with you, and encourage you to continue with them. A true friend is someone who will hold on just as much as you will, and they will try to help you reach farther than you can; they will help pull you up onto that ledge that was just too high. And I only have two true friends who would do that. I have two others that are close to me, but these two are my sisters. No, I did not grow up with sisters, but I have met my sisters, and they are from another family and time. They are my friends and they are the people who will help me onto that ledge that I can’t reach. …Only if I let them.
You see, that is my problem. I have grown to know myself as an independent person. I have grown to tell myself that I can do it on my own. I have the support and comfort that I need, but I will never go to it. I feel weak when I do that. I feel weak when I cry in front of others, and I would feel weak to cry on someone’s shoulder, I would feel weak to cry in someone’s arms. I would. And I don’t. I don’t feel weak to cry on someone’s shoulder because I never have, and I never will. I don’t feel weak to cry in someone’s arms because I have never been held, and I never will. Weather it be by a loved one or a stranger, I will not experience the joys that others do. I wish I could, but I never will.
My securities are low to the ground as I keep many thoughts to myself. I will not speak my mind, nor snap back to you. I am a loyal mutt, and I will do as my owner commands. I am obedient like an old dog, and I will do anything I am told. I have enough wisdom; I know my limits. And I know right from wrong. I will choose weather I want to obey your commands, or I will make my own decision. I have the independence of a wolf, I will work on my own, and I will do it alone. I will take the lead like an alpha would do, and I will bring those who are low in hope and faith, to the safe securities of myself. I will keep those in need safe, weather it takes my life or not. I am loyal to friends, and those who need the help. If asked, I will do so; I will provide my advice.
I hold traits of bravery and loyalty. I will fall in any battle in order to keep friends and family alive. I am the easiest person to befriend. Gaining my trust would be somewhat of a challenge. Now, if one were to lose my trust, I would feel betrayed. And regaining my trust would be nearly impossible, as it is harder than living life to regain my trust. The need for companionship is strong in my blood, but my feelings will not allow myself to show it. Only ways I will show this is with the art of drawing, music or writing. I have given up on my writing many times due to boredom and lack of confidence. Confidence is a very weak trait of mine, and I have little of it… In order to hide from the fear of reality, I show little or no emotion. A mere grin will be shown in a picture unless I am laughing in which people will get a smile. Not very photogenic, I tend to avoid the camera, but I use it to my ability.
Looking to these trees before me, makes me feel very small and sad. Seeing the grande bristles in which seem like needles, make me feel as though someone would want to inject a venom which could lay me to sleep for an eternity and ever more. These needles could puncture a million and more holes in my body, allowing gaping blood to pour from my constant frozen frame. If I think I am cold I should be greatly mistaken.
These trees look like frozen soldiers, standing still, as if they’ve seen the face of Satan himself, awaiting their death. In this case, the trees are covered in snow as a soldier would be in blood; covered head to toe. The scene before me is a pale blanket of cold flakes. The cold blanket serves as a surface that is out of access; like the field a soldier would stand on.
The field which is covered in dirt and blood and carcasses of their friends, the people they trained with and explored with for years, the people they cried to at the worst of times, and the ones they laughed with at the best; their family. The soldier’s family lay dead or alive, suffering or healthy; all around him. Around him would be the cries of pain and agony, cries of terror and fear. The cries were not just made by man, but by the rodents that ate at the dying soldiers and children alive; ones who were harmed in the process of the invasion.
Children as young as infants are torn from their families, their mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters. Mother will lose her lover and maybe even her son as she watches the soldiers run into her home like a pack of savage wolves hunting out their kill; their kill in this case being the opposed country. America verse Iraq, France claiming for Canada; either way it would be countries of all sorts against one. Soon, in time, it will be World War III; and this time; it will resolve around not just America, but Asia and Japan, Canada and Australia. It will be the entire world fighting against one another, until there is no more….
If I'm allowed to zone out, I'll be lost in my own world. I can't hear anything or anyone anymore. I've been compared to so much. And don't want to lose it anymore.. How come children have such easy lives? They have such security..I want that. I've an urge and desire that burns for it...a young child can wander as far as their parents’ arms will allow them, before scooping them up and holding them close…Something I can’t remember. There are pictures as proof of being close to my loved family, but no memories. There are no memories of being picked up and put down to ride some amusing ride. There are such few memories of running to the water’s edge, and casting that lure down to the water to wait for the fish to nibble.
I can remember memories I don’t want to resurface; those memories of being betrayed and thrown around as if I were a doll. Memories of being used in such a harsh, abusive and violating way.. by a so-called ‘family member'. The memories of a loved family member betraying your security; in which had been left in the dust.
I want so bad to run far from where I am now.. All I can do is stare out these windows, in which have thick black bars that permit me from going anywhere; the chains in which cover my door and weight it down to allow no access.
This imprisonment is not that of my family’s doing. It is of my own. To escape Reality.
Sitting here, it makes me wonder who I really am. Am I compassionate and gentle? Or am I an aggressive and ravage canine? I don’t know anymore. After losing my friends, weather it be death or moving away, or even disappearance, I have begun to think about my own life, and where I’m heading to. Am I going to live a long and eventful life, full of happiness and joy in which I can cherish with a love of my own, or will I live a lonely and depressing life, in which the memories I will have, will be locked away in my emotional barrier?
I’m unsure, and I sometimes wonder if I really am meant to know the people I know today. I wonder why I am such an outcast, and why my appearance is the way it is. Why do I not like myself? Why do I wish to change myself so bad, that I am willing to push as far as I can, and even farther, even if it cost me my own life? Why do I admire so many cruel events that happen in time, and why do I take peoples’ advice, even when they tell me a fact not to do, and store it in my memory of how to change things. Why do I admire the fact of someone who pushed them so far to throw themselves in the hospital, and still agree to myself to try something similar?
How is it that when I was little, that I was easily loved, and not one soul cared what my appearance was, I was still equal to everyone else, we were all equal ranks. And yet…Now that I’ve hit the teenaged years, I am somehow an outcast. Actually, no, I am not an outcast, when you are an outcast you are noticed, even if it’s not for the best reason. But, I am not an outcast. I am nothing. I have no rank. Nobody notices me. And when they do, they want something. I can tell you now, I only have a few close friends, and what is worse; I can’t even count enough friends akin to one hand. I don’t have five friends; true friends, that is. Friends are people who will help you win or gain what you were looking for, by cheering you on and yelling out compliments. A true friend is someone who will do it with you, and encourage you to continue with them. A true friend is someone who will hold on just as much as you will, and they will try to help you reach farther than you can; they will help pull you up onto that ledge that was just too high. And I only have two true friends who would do that. I have two others that are close to me, but these two are my sisters. No, I did not grow up with sisters, but I have met my sisters, and they are from another family and time. They are my friends and they are the people who will help me onto that ledge that I can’t reach. …Only if I let them.
You see, that is my problem. I have grown to know myself as an independent person. I have grown to tell myself that I can do it on my own. I have the support and comfort that I need, but I will never go to it. I feel weak when I do that. I feel weak when I cry in front of others, and I would feel weak to cry on someone’s shoulder, I would feel weak to cry in someone’s arms. I would. And I don’t. I don’t feel weak to cry on someone’s shoulder because I never have, and I never will. I don’t feel weak to cry in someone’s arms because I have never been held, and I never will. Weather it be by a loved one or a stranger, I will not experience the joys that others do. I wish I could, but I never will.
My securities are low to the ground as I keep many thoughts to myself. I will not speak my mind, nor snap back to you. I am a loyal mutt, and I will do as my owner commands. I am obedient like an old dog, and I will do anything I am told. I have enough wisdom; I know my limits. And I know right from wrong. I will choose weather I want to obey your commands, or I will make my own decision. I have the independence of a wolf, I will work on my own, and I will do it alone. I will take the lead like an alpha would do, and I will bring those who are low in hope and faith, to the safe securities of myself. I will keep those in need safe, weather it takes my life or not. I am loyal to friends, and those who need the help. If asked, I will do so; I will provide my advice.
I hold traits of bravery and loyalty. I will fall in any battle in order to keep friends and family alive. I am the easiest person to befriend. Gaining my trust would be somewhat of a challenge. Now, if one were to lose my trust, I would feel betrayed. And regaining my trust would be nearly impossible, as it is harder than living life to regain my trust. The need for companionship is strong in my blood, but my feelings will not allow myself to show it. Only ways I will show this is with the art of drawing, music or writing. I have given up on my writing many times due to boredom and lack of confidence. Confidence is a very weak trait of mine, and I have little of it… In order to hide from the fear of reality, I show little or no emotion. A mere grin will be shown in a picture unless I am laughing in which people will get a smile. Not very photogenic, I tend to avoid the camera, but I use it to my ability.
Looking to these trees before me, makes me feel very small and sad. Seeing the grande bristles in which seem like needles, make me feel as though someone would want to inject a venom which could lay me to sleep for an eternity and ever more. These needles could puncture a million and more holes in my body, allowing gaping blood to pour from my constant frozen frame. If I think I am cold I should be greatly mistaken.
These trees look like frozen soldiers, standing still, as if they’ve seen the face of Satan himself, awaiting their death. In this case, the trees are covered in snow as a soldier would be in blood; covered head to toe. The scene before me is a pale blanket of cold flakes. The cold blanket serves as a surface that is out of access; like the field a soldier would stand on.
The field which is covered in dirt and blood and carcasses of their friends, the people they trained with and explored with for years, the people they cried to at the worst of times, and the ones they laughed with at the best; their family. The soldier’s family lay dead or alive, suffering or healthy; all around him. Around him would be the cries of pain and agony, cries of terror and fear. The cries were not just made by man, but by the rodents that ate at the dying soldiers and children alive; ones who were harmed in the process of the invasion.
Children as young as infants are torn from their families, their mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters. Mother will lose her lover and maybe even her son as she watches the soldiers run into her home like a pack of savage wolves hunting out their kill; their kill in this case being the opposed country. America verse Iraq, France claiming for Canada; either way it would be countries of all sorts against one. Soon, in time, it will be World War III; and this time; it will resolve around not just America, but Asia and Japan, Canada and Australia. It will be the entire world fighting against one another, until there is no more….
If I'm allowed to zone out, I'll be lost in my own world. I can't hear anything or anyone anymore. I've been compared to so much. And don't want to lose it anymore.. How come children have such easy lives? They have such security..I want that. I've an urge and desire that burns for it...a young child can wander as far as their parents’ arms will allow them, before scooping them up and holding them close…Something I can’t remember. There are pictures as proof of being close to my loved family, but no memories. There are no memories of being picked up and put down to ride some amusing ride. There are such few memories of running to the water’s edge, and casting that lure down to the water to wait for the fish to nibble.
I can remember memories I don’t want to resurface; those memories of being betrayed and thrown around as if I were a doll. Memories of being used in such a harsh, abusive and violating way.. by a so-called ‘family member'. The memories of a loved family member betraying your security; in which had been left in the dust.
I want so bad to run far from where I am now.. All I can do is stare out these windows, in which have thick black bars that permit me from going anywhere; the chains in which cover my door and weight it down to allow no access.
This imprisonment is not that of my family’s doing. It is of my own. To escape Reality.
