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Posted 14 years agoAnd there he sat on his bed. All he could do is stare at the screensaver on his computer. Only hours before he was fully of happiness, but now? Now it is all gone. The void surrounded him once again.
What did he do to deserve this?
Behind him in the closet hung the clothes of his future. He was transgender mouse. Perhaps 'he' wasn't the best noun to use. He didn’t feel like a 'he' but more of a 'she.'
He... rather she. She was somewhere between shock and fear. Her future was gone in a poof. The light of her life had flickered out and vanished. All that was left for her was that familiar feeling of depression that she had escaped.
She cried. The image of her crying perhaps the saddest thing to see. Her ears drooped, arms holding her stomach, head bowed. It had felt like her heart was torn out. She was empty again.
The only other thing that could be heard in her room over the soft crying was a whisper. It came out of nowhere but she knew exactly where it came from. It was the void.
"Welcome back. We knew you would not survive long. We didn't miss you. No one misses you. You are back where you belong... alone, scared, and without anyone to love you."
What did he do to deserve this?
Behind him in the closet hung the clothes of his future. He was transgender mouse. Perhaps 'he' wasn't the best noun to use. He didn’t feel like a 'he' but more of a 'she.'
He... rather she. She was somewhere between shock and fear. Her future was gone in a poof. The light of her life had flickered out and vanished. All that was left for her was that familiar feeling of depression that she had escaped.
She cried. The image of her crying perhaps the saddest thing to see. Her ears drooped, arms holding her stomach, head bowed. It had felt like her heart was torn out. She was empty again.
The only other thing that could be heard in her room over the soft crying was a whisper. It came out of nowhere but she knew exactly where it came from. It was the void.
"Welcome back. We knew you would not survive long. We didn't miss you. No one misses you. You are back where you belong... alone, scared, and without anyone to love you."
Into the mind that which should not be delved within.
Posted 15 years agoAs a warning; everything you read is how I feel. If you find that you aren't comfortable with what it is, don't continue reading and don't reply.
Why are we born as we are; male, female, somewhere in between? We are taught from a young age how to act and how to interact with others. Yet... yet we deviate from the norm, some more than others. I have come to an intersection in my life where I have to choose to do something that goes against the normal way of life. I wish to pursue it, but if I do then I risk walking a long path without the support of my family.
In the end it is my choice, my decision, my will to do what I feel and believe is right. When I go down this road there will be no turning back when I get into it. This is a one way street, no second chance, nowhere to go if I screw up. Life is cruel like that.
I find that my friends are supportive of what I may choose to do. They are wonderful, understanding, and much more tolerant than the public view. I’m just not sure how to tell my parents. I’m not sure if they will understand, much less agree. I know that I will talk with my sister first; she is understanding and supportive.
What am I going to do, what am I talking about? Well I was born a male as far as I know. It just… didn’t sit right with me my whole life. I got pretty good at acting like one in school and public, but it really wasn’t me. When I act normal in chat rooms, I come across as feminine. I find that I feel better, feel normal as a female.
Why? I don’t know why, I just am. I can’t see myself in the future as a male. I don’t see myself standing at the altar watching my future wife walking toward me… I see myself walking toward my future husband. I can see myself clearly as a female, being a female. I can see myself being a loving mother, a wife.
But I was born a male. It is something strange to want to be the opposite gender. I sit here, looking at my options, thinking about what I wish to do. Every day I put on this mask, making people around me believe I am fine and normal. Eight-thousand days and many more I have put on this mask; I have grown tired of it as of late. There are days when I look into the mirror and don’t recognize the guy staring back. Many mornings I have woken up just wishing that I was a female, many more nights wishing that I would change overnight.
I have all but decided to go ahead, to walk down this strange path. I know the steps that I must take, the struggles I will face. It is much more than an uphill battle; it is a climb that is truly terrifying at its worst, but it is beautiful at its best.
Everyone was born in one way or another. Most people are comfortable with how they are. Some people’s gender was decided after birth surgically by their parents and/or their doctor. Others just find that their given gender, weather by nature or otherwise, just doesn’t fit with how they feel.
I know that some people will find me disgusting, hate me, and despise me. Others will ignore me and act fine around me, but never will be comfortable. The rest? They will be all across the board on how they will respond. I just wanted to type this up, get my feelings straight. I am who I am, and you are who you are. Just remember that everyone has feelings and a soul; that you should respect their decisions and treat them with respect.
Why are we born as we are; male, female, somewhere in between? We are taught from a young age how to act and how to interact with others. Yet... yet we deviate from the norm, some more than others. I have come to an intersection in my life where I have to choose to do something that goes against the normal way of life. I wish to pursue it, but if I do then I risk walking a long path without the support of my family.
In the end it is my choice, my decision, my will to do what I feel and believe is right. When I go down this road there will be no turning back when I get into it. This is a one way street, no second chance, nowhere to go if I screw up. Life is cruel like that.
I find that my friends are supportive of what I may choose to do. They are wonderful, understanding, and much more tolerant than the public view. I’m just not sure how to tell my parents. I’m not sure if they will understand, much less agree. I know that I will talk with my sister first; she is understanding and supportive.
What am I going to do, what am I talking about? Well I was born a male as far as I know. It just… didn’t sit right with me my whole life. I got pretty good at acting like one in school and public, but it really wasn’t me. When I act normal in chat rooms, I come across as feminine. I find that I feel better, feel normal as a female.
Why? I don’t know why, I just am. I can’t see myself in the future as a male. I don’t see myself standing at the altar watching my future wife walking toward me… I see myself walking toward my future husband. I can see myself clearly as a female, being a female. I can see myself being a loving mother, a wife.
But I was born a male. It is something strange to want to be the opposite gender. I sit here, looking at my options, thinking about what I wish to do. Every day I put on this mask, making people around me believe I am fine and normal. Eight-thousand days and many more I have put on this mask; I have grown tired of it as of late. There are days when I look into the mirror and don’t recognize the guy staring back. Many mornings I have woken up just wishing that I was a female, many more nights wishing that I would change overnight.
I have all but decided to go ahead, to walk down this strange path. I know the steps that I must take, the struggles I will face. It is much more than an uphill battle; it is a climb that is truly terrifying at its worst, but it is beautiful at its best.
Everyone was born in one way or another. Most people are comfortable with how they are. Some people’s gender was decided after birth surgically by their parents and/or their doctor. Others just find that their given gender, weather by nature or otherwise, just doesn’t fit with how they feel.
I know that some people will find me disgusting, hate me, and despise me. Others will ignore me and act fine around me, but never will be comfortable. The rest? They will be all across the board on how they will respond. I just wanted to type this up, get my feelings straight. I am who I am, and you are who you are. Just remember that everyone has feelings and a soul; that you should respect their decisions and treat them with respect.
What I think of yous!
Posted 15 years ago
CString challenged me to this, so here it goes!Comment here and I will...
1. Tell you something I'll learn about you by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what Pokemon you remind me of.
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you, and your answer has to be as vague as possible to keep the suspense.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Give you a weird nickname
8. Tell you what's on my shirt right now.
9. Challenge you to post this on your journal
A thought...
Posted 15 years agoNot exactly sure why I ended up typing this. Was talking with someone and wrote the begining, but felt that there was more to it.
You see? *points into the sky* Those are giant balls of gas burning far away. Each producing their light to give our world its beauty at night. Each lighting our hearts to give them a clear path ahead. When you feel you can't go on... when only a bitter end awaits; look at the stars. Remember the good times and the people's hearts you have touched. Remember that even though they may not say they love you, or they don't always see your way; they will help you in your darkest hour. There is always someone out there who wants to help you and be by your side. Don't take away your chance to make someone's world... to make them happy that they are loved by someone else.Suddenly Artwork
Posted 15 years agoI'm not sure why I suddenly submitted my artwork. Procrastination forgot to come today I guess. I won't submit that many pieces in a day ever again XP.
As it were though; I probably should have some sort of explination as to the origins.
I originally based my charecters in the Legend of Spyro universe, but I deviated far away from the plot line. The games were good for the most part; just didn't like the ending and parts of the story.
Ash is the daughter of Aurora. Aurora is a wind dragon; a very good one at that. She is a silvery color with light blue markings and bright green eyes.
Ash is a purple dragon. She's a light color of purple; almost more pink. Her eyes are pink with silvery markings. Ash is a bit of a tomboy and finds herself in trouble more than out of it.
Thats about it I thinks. Moar latter hopefully. I'm slow at drawing and procrastinate slower. <.<
As it were though; I probably should have some sort of explination as to the origins.
I originally based my charecters in the Legend of Spyro universe, but I deviated far away from the plot line. The games were good for the most part; just didn't like the ending and parts of the story.
Ash is the daughter of Aurora. Aurora is a wind dragon; a very good one at that. She is a silvery color with light blue markings and bright green eyes.
Ash is a purple dragon. She's a light color of purple; almost more pink. Her eyes are pink with silvery markings. Ash is a bit of a tomboy and finds herself in trouble more than out of it.
Thats about it I thinks. Moar latter hopefully. I'm slow at drawing and procrastinate slower. <.<
