Ah, that upsetting habit of mine, to just pack up and migrate elsewhere without warning. I keep promising myself I'll work on that, but it's so hard to hold myself accountable....

I've been in the Job Corps, learning culinary arts and running towards the specialty training opportunities! The stagnation in my life was killing me, so I just ran off to become a professional chef. I've settled in well, made lots of new friends with only a pawful of haters, and made my way into the honors dorms in a relatively short time. There is internet that I can access there, but it's got all kinds of government blockers 'n stuff that keeps me from accessing FA, any chat service, and steam.

To everyone I disappeared on, I'm sorry. I've never been a particularly stable foxie to begin with, so I feel it should be expected that I'll just run off on random journeys or hide in my foxhole with notifications as an afterthought, but that fact never seems to make it any easier on folks. So yes, I do feel bad about it sometimes.

Ever since I was a puppy, my life has always been moving from place to place, switching from school to school. Even when our family finally settled on a state to settle in, I was still being moved from district to district. It taught me how to make friends with people from all walks of life, but it also taught me how to enjoy people for the time I have them before moving on and leaving all of my attachments behind. I became quite used to it, but it never occurred to me that for people who had more stable lives, it's not that easy.

That's why I extend my apologies and sympathies to anyone who is waiting for me. I don't expect any of you to be thinking of me when I finally get out in a year or so, but if you still are, I both pity and love you for it.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1AszDN_ZGI

Armed with amazing new recipes, I'm ready to cook for anyone foolish enough to visit my labs!

Feel like promoting a new artist for a chance at free art? I did! More info here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4572145/

I've long had a suspicion that some sort of invisible alien is stalking me and documenting my every move. I keep seeing flashes of him, times when I assume he's taking pictures or doing some sort of scan, I dunno. He tries to stay just out of sight most of the time, but sometimes I get to look directly at him before he disappears. A small levitating thing,a dark shadow that disappears almost immediately, but the telltale sign is the bright little red light that flashes ever so briefly. Most of the time, the light is all I can see, out of the corner of my eye or looking into the darkness. I used to be afraid of it... but now it's almost comforting to see. My little watcher, who knows more about me than I do.

Heh... it's nice to pretend the hallucinations are real sometimes.

Here it is, the twenty first. Another step closer to a most comfortable grave. Shout out to the giver of a spectacular gift, the ghostbusters proton pack backpack. You rule!

My mother unknowingly gave me a new somewhat creepy outlook on life for my birthday. She happened to bring home a printed out article about identifying a sociopath due to a long set of criteria. I looked through it and found I was able to answer "sometimes" or "yes" to all of the questions. Soooo I guess i've been a sociopath all this time? Who knew?
I'm not sure how to feel about it. In fact, the only feeling I can really get from this silly diagnosis is feeling a little weird BECAUSE I don't feel anything about it. Kinda like: "uhm... this is supposed to be upsetting news, right?" Finally having some sort of explanation for the emotionless numb feeling I tend to get is kinda nice. And all at the same time I can't help but think that maybe the article is a buncha bullsnooki or perhaps i'm just doing that hypochondriac thing.
But say the test is real and my answers are valid and i'm a sociopath. So what? I like to think i'm pretty benevolent about it. I've uplifted so many spirits, brightened so many days, been so kind to so many people and made their lives better... does it really matter that I secretly hate half of them? I wouldn't go out and kill a whole bunch of people because such an act would be both utterly pointless, and totally selfish. I've only really hurt a handful of people, and most of them did half the work to themselves. If I manipulate others to get my way, I ensure that they still benefit from it, because fair's fair. Even if they've been manipulated solely for my entertainment, I still find some way to please them later. Kinda like giving a dog a treat after you pretended to throw the tennis ball so you can watch him fruitlessly search in some bushes for a minute.
Not exactly certain why I'm throwing this out here. I guess I've spent so much time discussing the subject internally, I crave for input from someone who might think differently. Someone to say: "you're kind of a conceited bitch, but you're no sociopath." Or a voice saying: "yes you're certainly fucked in the head. Seek help." or what I suppose I'm really hoping for: "Ehh, you're a borderline sociopath, sure, but it's nothing to worry about. Sociopath isn't even that dirty or dangerous of a description. Stay the course, you'll be fine."

I'm quite certain that my final words will be: "This won't end well."

Now THAT is a game. Applause. Salute. Take a bow, guys, because that was incredible. BRILLIANT even. Game of the year, I'm certain! Gameplay was balanced and fun, expansive and immersible, and the story... my gosh what a story! Give it a play if you haven't, it's certainly worth whatever trouble you have to go through to get your paws on it. Ten out of ten!

WOULD YOU.....
[_] Lock me in your room and take advantage of me?
[_] lick my cheek?
[_] miss me if we went out then broke up?
[_] dance with me?
[_] let me make you breakfast?
[_] tap me on the a**?
[_] help me with homework?
[_] tickle me to death?
[_] let me tickle you?
[_] stick up for me if i was being put down?
[_] caress my body?
[_] play strip poker with me?
[_] say yes if i asked you out?
[_] let me wear your pants?
[_] get wasted with me?
[_] instant message me?
[_] greet me in public?
[_] hang out with me?
[_] bring me around your friends?

DO YOU...
[_] think im cute?
[_] think im hot?
[_] want to kiss me?
[_] want to cuddle with me?
[_] want to hook up with me?

ARE WE...
[_] acquaintances?
[_] friends?
[_] in a relationship?
[_] gonna have kids?

AM I...
[_] smart?
[_] cute?
[_] funny?
[_] cool?
[_] lovable?
[_] adorable?
[_] compassionate?
[_] annoying?
[_] great to be with?
[_] attractive?
[_] mean?
[_] odd?

HAVE YOU EVER...
[_] thought about me?
[_] thought there might be an "us"?
[_] thought about hookin' up with me?
[_] found yourself wanting a kiss from me?
[_] wished i were there?
[_] grabbed me?
[_] had a crush on me?
[_] idolized me?
[_] wanted my number?
[_] had a dream about me?
[_] been distracted by me?

ARE YOU...
[_] happy you know me?
[_] mad at me?
[_] thinkin' bout me?
[_] going to repost this in your journal so that i will return the favour

Haha, just kiddin'. Happy Holidays, everyone!

Just couldn't stay away, I guess. Still tryin' to stay quiet(ish), and many thanks to those who were so nice to me while I was feeling so mopey.

Within a particularly intense moment of madness, I had a particularly intense moment of clarity. This place (and the rest of the internet for that matter) will be seeing a lot less of me. I will still lurk about from time to time, though it will be rare, and I'm still willing to have friendly conversation with those who will be friendly to me, but I'm taking a long hiatus to get some much needed help.

Best Wishes to anyone out there.
-Sombra Icehearth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jtp_LdmzLY

I felt like an oppressed soul being lifted by an inspiring speech of rebellion! Until the very end.... Then i was sad again. Though i still couldn't help but lol. And when BMFM was mentioned? I clapped. I flipping clapped.

Because why the hell not? I got the stomach for it! I think. OwO

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8568366/

Everything is fine!

Sometimes it's really nice to know that no one reads these. I had an experience the other day in which I became almost completely detached from reality and was afraid to come back. I didn't want to come back because I felt like it was returning to a prison. As I willed myself to return, that part of me who didn't want to do so screamed and thrashed and fought as if she were being dragged into hellfire. I remember the screaming so vividly. And suddenly it was okay again.... I was back in reality, that strong emotion was gone, and life wasn't so bad, just like always. But I cant help but wonder where that came from, and if that part of me who I can't seem to find was onto something. It believed that I'm slowly killing myself with what i'm doing, leading a normal stable life, waiting for death as a mindless flock fodder for... something awful, I don't know. My family keeps telling me to find some sort of passion, something I love doing that makes life worth living. I can't begin to imagine what that is, honestly. It disturbs me so much that she was right when she said I was so calmly and patiently waiting for death. I look forward to my final day so much, and its only now that I consider that might not be normal. I RP and play video games a lot simply to escape reality. But now that i'm starting my career and "life"... I dont have time for such things and its making life pass by so much slower. Death seems further and further away with each passing day, and I don't want to be impatient or anything, but jeez, i'm only 21 and already running out of things to do to pass the time. Obviously, suicide is not an option... I wouldn't be opposed to a timely lightning strike or something though. If anyone DID take the time to read this, I'm sorry.

Post a comment and I shall~


1. Tell you something I'll learn about you by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds.
2. Tell you which colour you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what Pokemon you remind me of.
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you, and your answer has to be as vague as possible to keep the suspense.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Give you a weird nickname
8. Tell you what's on my shirt right now.
9. Challenge you to post this on your journal

At the request of a friend, and also because it's fun, I ask you all to ask of me a deep question. I will answer the best I can.

Oh, and my first journal. yay me. =P