i just got pikmin bloom on my phone ^W^

i have stopped playing pokemon go since they turned Blanche into that.. abomination ._.

(i know Blanche is back but it's just not the same anymore )

and i would like to have friends in pikmin bloom! seems adorable and wholesome so far ^W^


let me know if you want to add me please!!
also since they made Animal Crossing Pocket Camp available in Argentina, i will see of get it in a while too ^w^ <33



in other news, how have you all been?

i have started to make kokedamas
https://twitter.com/RhunenStaldrad/.....44688114323456

Is essentially a ball of mud and moss, where a flower will grow from! i have found working with dirt strangely.... meditative?
my brain can finally shut down a bit and only think about what I'm doing in the moment (which is basically just picking moss and making a ball of dirt XDDD )

i have also got me a cheap mushroom grow kit! I'm growing pink oyster mushrooms, and honestly, i am FASCINATED with mushrooms! i have no clue if i would like their taste, or even if i might be allergic to them, but man, they grow FAST, and are so interesting!!

so my new hobbies are basically moss, mushrooms and pikmins -w-'


i have also got Flipnote on my good old 3ds, and I'm trying to learn some animation, i might start posting some tiny gifs on my patron! very possibly all free to see!


and that's all for now!

I'm hyping for my birthday the 9th!!


cannot wait for my birthday!, please lets all hope this year treat us all well!




_{(and lets ignore Argentina running a marathon to self destruct)}

first off i will put random assorted thoughts up here so in case you don't want to read the downer of it, you can just not read the bottom bits



the biggest thing that has happened is that i officially was credited for being a localization /translator for the game named the wandering village
is the first time i get my name on a game, and honestly it feels so cool

i hope i can keep working as a translator, and i hope eventually i get paid for it XD

i have not been drawing because i am not getting commissions, however i am drawing for my patrons, getting 2 drawings out per month is a bit better than 1 drawing every random amount of long time. so i think i had been drawing more than usual, which i think, it might be something good? ^^'

about my 'hobby' as game curator, things have been SLOOOOWWW
mostly because i have reviewed all the games i owned that actually deserved a review.
you can check the curator thing here
it has been getting harder to afford games due to how fast our money is crashing, and every game developer is realizing if they don't charge ridiculously high prices like 6.000 pesos per game, they wont get a cent.. you know what the funny thing is? the government is getting more money from each game they sell here, than the actual developers, with the constantly increasing fees, someone who charges like 500 pesos for they game, will be giving around 2000 pesos for the corrupt assholes in the government.
haha fun.

wait that wasn't positive, it became a rant x-x''

anyway, i hope you all are alright. thankyou for reading me, i hope i can keep drawing things that are interesting enough to look, and maybe someday i can draw something good enough that is worth a comment.
take care everyone <3

ranty shit below:

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- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- -

it has been 2 months since i told the ordeal with my living space

has it changed?

nope. not at all.


i keep tossing stuff out from time to time, but it hurts tossing shit you loved and kept all your life

my parents will not help me with heavy things like the furniture, and even if I get rid of it , I cant pay for new furniture
having a body with fybro really fucks you up. you are basically just a bundle of meat and pain that walks around

everyshit increasing its price so ridiculously quick. makes it so hard to pay for food. i had already to drop all my medications because i cannot pay them

it is just simply enraging to see how the government keeps inventing dollars and excuses to steal more money from us. MONEY WE CANNOT HAVE, OR EARN, BECAUSE THEY ARE ONLY WILLING TO CUT PAYCHECKS INSTEAD OF INCREASING THEM

Argentina is dying really fucking fast, and i am desperate to get the fuck out of here, but i cannot do anything to escape this. I'm doomed.
there is likely no future. i cannot get a job that pays. the only thing i have is my artwork, and who knows for how long? they are catching up to every kind of money transfer that might happen in Argentina, what if they find out i draw to make a life? i might lose the only thing i am capable of doing..

sigh

so yeah, TLDR: everything is going to shit and getting worse every day.

that's all

thanks for reading again ^w^

YES THIS IS A RANT / VENT SO IF YOU DONT WANNA READ IT PLEASE IGNORE IT :)


YES THIS IS A RANT / VENT SO IF YOU DONT WANNA READ IT PLEASE IGNORE IT :)


YES THIS IS A RANT / VENT SO IF YOU DONT WANNA READ IT PLEASE IGNORE IT :)


YES THIS IS A RANT / VENT SO IF YOU DONT WANNA READ IT PLEASE IGNORE IT :)


<sub>it feels like life is fucking me in the most non consensual violent way and I have no safe word for real.

Following the patient abandonment my psychiatrists did several years ago I had to make do with 1 random psych doing me a paper to get my same prescription of 15 years ago every month

but every psychiatric medication I need to take has became import only
so now we have to pay it with the import price and costs, its at this point impossible. so I have to cold turkey every psych med which my body has developed a severe addiction to during the years of this uncontrolled prescription that has been also fucking up my liver

thankfully the city has still some reserves of quetiapine.. but honestly, if a withdrawal of 1 med is horrible to go trough, dealing with most of them at once will be hell.. and if I have to deal with quetiapine withdrawal, which is the most hardcore one I'm taking... i am honestly deathly afraid.
i do not know how down I can fall, and I do not trust myself not ending up with my arms shredded bleeding everywhere yet again.

i had been not capable of getting the import breathing medicine for over a month now, every day is an asthma attack that will not end, I had been burning through salbutamol inhalers like crazy.. which often lead to tachycardia and passing out, just to relieve a bit of the effort I have to do to breathe 1 time.

that and nobody helps me clean my bedroom, I do what I can on my own, but its still little to nothing when you have to take stuff that you love that is full of memories and given by people who is no longer with you, and toss it to the trash and burn it.
i feel incapable of everything

today I went to buy food for around 2 days of the week.
my full shopping list?
-2 instant rice (2 servings each)
-2 cans of beer
-2 cans of energy drink
-2 bottles of juice (last me around 1 week, I drink only around 4 liters of liquid per week)

I did however fuckup and bought an extra:
-1 box of tea bags
-2 soy 'meat' bags of 250g

I paid almost 5700 pesos

EVERY DAY EVERYTHING INCREASES PRICE IN A RIDICULOUS AMMOUNT

WE CANNOT EVEN GATHER MONEY TO MOVE OUT BECAUSE IS EITHER SAVING FOR A PLANE TICKET OR KEEPING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY FED.

AND I HAVE NO JOB, AND I CANNOT APPLY FOR ANY JOB BECAUSE THERE IS NONE
AND IF THERE IS ONE THEY WILL NOT ACCEPT ME FOR BEING DISABLED

I am not even getting government help for being disabled. and if you want one of the new 'emergency money' plans the government gives, you need to have at least 1 child. or be pregnant. what, you are disabled and wanna apply for one? get pregnant or you wont get shit. what if you cannot have children?

Most of the people around here live out of those absurd government plans, they pay you more than a doctor working 24/7 in 2 different hospitals or a teacher working in 2 schools per day. 90.000 pesos per month just for constantly having children like if you were a rabbit or a rat.

life is shit

it is worse when you have no future at all. and everything reminds you of it constantly.

i hate myself, I hate my life, I hate being alive I hate everything I want to die but I am too scared of death to off myself
and I have nowhere to dump a rant because whenever I do it I lose followers in whatever media I am posting my rants on.

so I am terribly sorry if you sat here and wasted like 3 minutes of your life reading this useless failure of a living being whine about how much everything is shit.

you were warned tho, this is a rant, I have several warnings everywhere
so if you want to unwatch me for ranting even when I warned everywhere that I do this. well that's a little bit of a dick move isn't it?</sub>

I'm sorry for everything

sorry for existing.

please take care.

just tossing this idea out here

i had done collab commissions with other artists before

if anyone wants to try and do a collab comission i would love to, we can go 50-50 , i can do the linearts and you paint or you do the lines and i paint!

just that


not much else to say, sorry

be warned this might be long as fuck.

so i did this journal about taking a break [likely suspending comissions]

because i had lost everything and i did not get into details.

i will go in details now, so if you want to read go ahead, and if not just scroll down until i do a small separation line and a big red TLDR or something to read the important part of the journal. ok?

- -

as many of you might now, i am poor, i live in an unfinished house, with little to no access to even water you can drink.
i also live in a countryside neighborhood, that is very ignored by the rest of the city, to the point we dont even count as part of the city, therefore there are big plots of land unkept with tall grass and uncontrolled pests. its all normal for now afte 30 years of living in the same situation you kinda get used to it.
even if you live in complete shame of having to beg water and maybe going to shower to someone else's house if they want to help you.

since i got my bedroom i thought of it as the only safe and relatively healthy space on the house.

however having holes in your walls, roofs, and so, inevitably lead to heavy issues with humidity, rotting, mushroom growths, mold growths and other pests accessing your house.
i had a suspicion something fucked up was happening one night, with noises and stuff that led me to investigate, only to realize... everything i owned was.. toxic.. _[ironically] plagued, and rotten, with mold and.. exposing me and my family to possibly lethal lung infections.

i had to get rid of everything i had on hand, several clues led me to realize the piece of furniture where i stored most of my clothings, are also infested and rotten.
on the top of the only furniture i had, i kept my most loved belongings, plushies, letters, my 'comfort box' with a couple of plushies and several letters i got that i liked to read to ground myself in ocattions where i needed them.
my plague doctor masks, collections of pokemon plushies and things.. the little 'fake jewelry' i had (which i never wore because i deem myself too ugly to wear them), clothings gifted by my late grandma, even the last clothing i got bought for myself, a black and white skirt bought like 3 years ago. food stashes for emergency, woman healthprotection stuff stashes for emergency. everything everything you can think of that is not inside my pc or my desktop, everything is toxic, plagued, and has to be thrown away.

due to it taking a massive toll on my mental health, seeing how everything i loved is fucking gone, and even if i see it now, i know i cannot touch it and it has to be tossed away or burnt.
due to that, i cant do much on my own, i depend on the help of someone coming to help me pick the stuff and bag it and toss it, mom works 3 jobs without breaks, dad uses this situation to abuse me further and enter my bedroom when i am gone to look to see if i have money stashed somewhere. brother is out of the question.
i got help from mom and the bf to get rid of most up and around the furniture i had. but even then all INSIDE the furniture is stil there, untouched by humans, and likely rotten and toxic.

clues led me to realize, my whole bedroom is in the same situation, except for the little desktop and perhaps my bed.

all my stuff is gone. my life is gone, and even if it is still there, touching it will likely give me a lethal disease. even just breathing in my bedroom became a panicking situation i have to constantly deal with. along with trying to fit on my brain 'yup. all is gone.'

anyone would look at this situation and go 'well this is fantastic! time to start all over again!' but the truth is. i have no other job than drawing. being an artist is my only work, and the only one i can get.
... sadly i , i am doing nothing but focusing all my strenght into sinking my brain into games, so i can do the very best to avoid having a hardcore mental breakdown.
talking about this situation with a certain person did help me a lot to accept everything is gone., and like in the hardcore survival games i love, i have a chance to start all over again.

when tho? not anytime soon. i still need help to get rid of everything in my bedroom, burn the furnitures, somehow move my bed and pc out of the bedroom, sanitize the whole bedroom, wait an unknown ammount of time until we can be sure it is safe to move back inside my bedroom. and THEN start all again.

obviously for this i will need a lot of money. aside from the usual buying my bullshit expesnive medicines, and normal weekly expenses, i have to somehow find enough earnings to buy clothings and furnitures again.

at this point i should be selling artworks like if i were a printing machine!
sadly all i want to truly do is relapse in self harming.

but hey!! i am doing my very best!! trying to not freak out about possible lung infections and the fucking plague ironically murdering me and my whole family :D
it is a thread of constant thoughts i am fighting against every single second i am awake. i cry constantly, i suffer, and since i got sick .. with what i beg to any existing gods that it's only a normal flu. it becomes hard.. but i'm still trying!!

i do not feel like i am in the best situation to draw, i feel anything i could try to draw will look like massive shit, that is why i am either delaying accepting comissions or just not accepting them until i feel i can give you all decent artwork again.

but further below i will ask for your help about how to go on with the art stuff.

i just need to type a few more lines until my cloudy crying eyes can let me see properly again, thank gods i can type well without even seeing the screen X3
sometimes it feels like life is giving me a massive non consensual fisting, and i have no safeword! D; '''
but hey.. would it still be myself if my life was easy?
would i stil try my best to look like i am fine if my life was easy? if i werent on this situation would it still be myself the one controlling this body?
im not sure. all i know is that i am trying my best. it is not much, or even anything at all.. but im doing my best to keep myself in this world and with an unscarred body ^^

ok lets end this and move on shall we?


- - - - - - -
TL:DR: life?= gone, plague? =acquired?, start over from zero?= must do!

now i need your help with the following: so please pay attention to this bit of journal

i need your ideas for easy, to do YCH's , something i could do massively, i need to do emergency comissions. however i am not in the best mood to provide a good enough cuality of artwork. so it has to be something i can easily draw over. i own some linearts to make some adoptables, so if you find adoptables likeable i could do some, hopefully!

what YCH would you like to see? and for how much would you like to get a spot on? or should i make it Pay what you want?

please by no means feel forced to actually buy something from me!

i know life is shit for everyone lately, and if you cannot afford tossing a coin to my side, then please do not do it! please always prioritize each and all of you!
most of my life is on the pc and i didn't lost it, and you know why? because all of you are here. all of you are the bit of my life i got to keep! so please all of you stay safe!

im not joking. i'm only still going because all of you are here.

i just need ideas!! for prices and for YCHS and for maybe adoptables! maybe i can get to make something decent ^w^

that is all. thankyou if you read all of it, or even if you just read the TLDR. thankyou for real.
writing and talking about this.. does help, who would have thought that!?

that's it.
thankyou everyone, please take care ^W^ <3 <3 <3


[EDIT] links for kofi and whatever.. just in case.. https://ko-fi.com/A2428MC https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/RhunenStaldrad



-

something kinda big happened

we are all healthy hopefully with the help of any existant god.

i'm just kinda down to what im currently wearing and the pc and idk..
i will uh just take some time to try and not freak out alright?

you all please take care , i love y'all

<3

and for once

i am sad about it

i realized, no one will ever come. my family hates me, or is dead, i have no friends. the friends of my parents hate me so they wont even come to be with my parents.

i wanted fireworks for my birhtday, i then wanted a costume party, or going to an arcade.. but nothing of that will be ever be possible

i cannot even look forward to gifts, i have nobody

i have told mom and my bf that maybe i will just ask to be left alone at my house the whole day so i can cry at peace.

there is nothing to look forward anymore in life.



take care everyone


feb 9

its so uneventful in eveery social media i am, and the one that should be more busy since its my one of my 2 money income sites is dead

so i am kinda forgetting to check this :_

so i am very sorry if i take too long to reply to any note or comment, is very likely i just simply forgot to check this, im not ignoring anyone

im sorry

i hope you all have a neat day

who am i kidding

please help me feel better

i got a job at lionbridge

i dont do much nor get paid much

but i have to get around 10 hours per week in

so , it will chomp away some time, yet allow me to earn hopefully around a dollar every 2 or 3 days maybe

that's it

also sorry for not drawing DX

i keep saying i should draw today

and then i get distracted by pc games or doing random stuff DX

im so sorry

i have no clue how much it costs in USD, but its completelly unaffordable in pesos

and .. i know it should be ranging around the 50's and is very likely my worth isnt worth that much

but.. if anyone is interested

i can do anything. but i sorta suggest a ref sheet, as they cost around the same
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/30999765/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/30999765/


ideally i would love to get 2 copies eventually so i can play with my bf

but.. i dunno

the idea is there as well as the offer, if anyone is interested can shoot me a note ^^'


everyone please stay safe! i wish you all the best!

my grandma left some days ago!

the asshole uncle finally took her, all it took was social helper and lawyer trheatenings

i took me two days to try and go back to normal life, my brother's friend also went back to his house so i wanted to take some days to try and get used to the old days where the only mental abuse came from my father

but then i got high fever
the last two days were hell
and i genuinelly thought i was going to die of covid but i didnt lost taste or smell
just the fever and cough/. since we are starting winter, its likely just a flu

today i feel a bit better, i hope to be 100% healthy soon

changing themes

how have you all been?

sorry for not beign so active here, i've been however spamming random craps and rants on my twitter https://twitter.com/RhunenStaldrad
and making some sketches/doodles for my patrons https://www.patreon.com/rhunenstaldrad

im thinking when i get back to drawing again , to make some cow bikini doodles, and they would be cowkini doodles for watchers, and for patrons they could be 100% nude X3

but i kind of only have my dragoness cherry to draw, and i should vary it a bit so they dont get bored, i might have to come up with a new char maybe

since sales for artworks have been slow (maybe my prices are too expensive?)
i'm trying to get back to slave working on the internet, doing barely paid surveys that take hours and rarely pay
but one of the image recognition sites i used went bankrupt

so anyone knows of any image recognition/tagging/segmentation online jobs that pay to paypal and accept out of US workers?


anyway, everyone please stay safe! i wish you all the best

sadly everything is still crap, and even worse since the son of my great grandma came home only to take all her money and say we are all shit persons and threaten us to put a lawyer if we keep trying to tell him to take her with him and all that

so this will still be shit for a long while

at least im at my bedroom

and i can go back to work, just need to get more energy back and i will get back asap

thanks for being patient

i miss my bedroom

so, situation at home got really bad, so i am going to move out to another (less problematic?) family member's house
until hopefully the situation with grandma stops being this bad

i will be a bit less active (who knew i could be even less active than this XD)
until shits clear out a bit

i wish you all the best, remember we are still in a pandemic and please take care of yourself!