Go here
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/33496812/

Have a lil free art raffle going on over on my instagram account
Chance of multiple winners plus multiple chances to enter :)
Go check it out

https://www.instagram.com/p/B1Umogt.....=1170y00jh3xqx

Hey guys,

I know I know, I'm doing a shameful beg but this time it's a really important cause.

Yesterday my cat (kaito) became ill, he was taken to the vets as soon as he stopped being himself, he ended up having a blocked bladder and very damaged kidneys, he had to have an op to remove that blockage. While I managed to find £500 out of £590 (with a very big help from a friend) the vet bill has increased as today he had to have more medication and treatment as he wasn't going to the toilet (vets put this down to all the trauma he's had)
So I'm calling out to all the art thirsty and lovely furs just to raise enough to cover the last bit.
There is also a possibility that the bill will increase even more as he has gone the toilet himself this morning (2amish) it's not as much as it should be.

I can do anything for any price (every tiny bit helps me out greatly)

Traditional pieces can be sent out if u wish, traditional badges will obvs come laminated
For more art examples u can visit my Instagram too as that is updated alot more than here

Www.instagram.com/swift_paws

Any question or anything just shoot me a note on here or on insta and I'll respond asap

So guys teh field which I took teh idiots too were looking into getting a pool for teh dogs... (Greyhound gap rescue grindlestone kennels kidsgrove) Now I've found one on eBay, it is bidding but I'd like to raise some money to get it an next time I go surprise them with it... It's only got 17hours left on it an it's at £10 atm since I'm an idiot an spent my money on stuff I shouldn't have an bills I don't actually have it... So Ima be drawing for donations... Donations even as lil as £1 will help so much :) if I don't reach enough money for teh pool I will give whatever I raise to teh rescue. Drawings will be done today :) Please feel free to share this :)

Go check them out ^w^
Art is absolutely adorable
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19742388/

Hey all,
Need to raise alil money... For gas an electric an I wanna get back into drawing... so I'm offering pwyw commissions, these can be from £1+ more u pay more u will get tho so keep that in mind
Love an peace
🐾

Totally heart breaking when u have to tell ur dog he isn't coming back, an then seeing that look on his face - or accidentally saying his name or he hears it on tv an he goes bouncing to teh window to see if he's there

I'm sorry floofball I did try :'(

Like mini emotional blob to get it off my chest...
Eh... Feeling so crappy today... Overly mardy an hurting yet no one to cuddle me nor want anyone near me :(
2 years since my aunt was cremated so that's getting to me...
Also stupidly missing him beyond belief... It's not even like teh big things it's teh stupid lil things I miss...
Like...
Teh stupid elephant noise he made an scared me that he was gonna pass out
Teh lil bit of jealousy I got when him an kiba were scritching
When he used to squeeze my hand
When he said "mine"
But hey... Nice to know I'm not important anymore an u can go from "I'll always be atleast ur friend" to blocking me in a few hours :')

Pop over to  Knurlnien profile
Journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:48638262
Please read an please watch them their art is absolutely awesome!

I wish I could fully open up... I wish I could tell people what's going on in my head, I'm not attention seeking, I'm not trying to follow a trend, I need help... Except I can't accept help from anyone... Because I just laugh it all off an joke about it... When inside I'm dying... I trashed my room trying to find teh one thing that makes me feel somewhat alive an I still can't find it, maybe it's for teh good cause who knows what would have happened... I want to say my animals an my friends an a certain someone makes me want to keep trying... But in all honesty they don't anymore... I just feel more an more weak around them... Like I'm one big lie... Putting on this face that I'm happy an I'm strong... An I'm no where near that. I don't know whether to say goodbye to people an disappear or stay or stay but say nothing... I don't have a clue what to do anymore an as each day goes it gets worse. I refuse to take tablets they make me worse an I don't want people going "oh there's another person sponging off teh nhs costing us millions with "depression"" I can't take them even if I wanted too because my throat closes up whenever tablets go near me thanks to numerous failed attempts at killing myself lol... I'd kill to be that happy Teto I was over a year ago... That person that walked around with ears an a tail on an not cared what people thought, that person that stood proudly an walked his dogs, now I'm scared to even leave my room incase I hurt someone or say/do something wrong :'(

So guys I'm probably gonna be either away for a few days or very inactive which means commissions are gonna be rather slow, if anyone wants any feel free to note me an ill get back to u as soon as I can but please understand that I'm going through a lot atm an I need alil space but I will reply an sort stuff out as soon as I can :)
Thanks for understanding

So lately if uve been reading these journals (really don't blame u if u haven't they are of me pure ranting an being bleh haha) I've not been sleeping properly, nowts changed there :')
My head keeps spinning with loads of different thoughts,
A certain girl
Transitioning
Money
Friends
Family
My animals (because lately they've been ill)
Life
Goals
Basically everything :')
I've come to teh conclusion tho that I genuinely have no idea what I want outta life heh... Like say before Christmas I had a pretty good idea, I wanted to fully transition, be with a certain girl, sort myself out an get a job, sort myself out an be able to go an make new friends, spend more time with my family, maybe even have my own sort of family... Now I'm questioning everything, do I want to transition an risk becoming a totally different person, cause although I act like it, I'm not actually that bad I do care about people an try an help them as much as I possibly can... Do I want this certain girl, because all I seem to do is hurt or be hurt an sometimes it feels like they don't care or want me or need me or whatever... Do I want friends? Majority of them only want me when it suits them bar a handful of people, u guys know who u are an I bloody love u for sticking by me even when I'm an emotional wreck like this :') do I want to be around my family more? Like all they seem to do is back stab an bitch an moan an lie an cause so much damn drama an all I seem to do is run around for them an not expect anything back but I'm always in teh wrong, I know most families can be like this an it's kinda a teenage thing but literally I'm not even kidding this is my family, I've been told this by numerous friends. Sometimes I just feel like getting whatever money grabbing my kids an running, except I wouldn't know where to go or what to do or anything an it wouldn't be fair on my cats or dogs for that matter. As for my own family... Ain't gonna happen haha there's people out there that actually like me... Like like like me... (Too many likes going on here sorry :')) but because I love this one girl... I don't think it's fair if I go into a relationship while I'm still in love... I have my pack, my kibbles, novel, pimple, snormal, witsuka, squee, Kato an zoom zooms... They're my life.. I wouldn't be here without them I don't think they realise that I need them more than they need me lol (names are their nicknames that's why they're so weird)
Think ima shut up
Totally realised that these sleepless nights are turning me into an emotionally blabbing blob :')

What teh hell is going on?
~lowers my ears flat~

So normally I wouldn't do this, I'd probably just write it down somewhere then delete it... But I guess I need help...
It's 3:30am an again I find myself not able to sleep, last night I took two sleeping tablets an within 15 mins I was having a nightmare that intense I woke up shaking, crying and screaming. Now I know why I'm not sleeping an having nightmares, it's cause I miss her an I don't feel safe anymore. And I don't know what to do, like part of me wants to move on, wants to just give up an scream at her an tell her how much she's destroying me how much she's killing me, but I can't because I love her, I don't wanna give up on her like everyone else has, I don't wanna loose her, I know she loves me, an I know she cares about me, but will it ever be more? I doubt it because one I keep hurting her, basically I'm fucked in teh head, no seriously, I constantly hear I'm not good enough or they don't want u around, they don't care, uve hurt them, uve fucked up again... This is what I battle with everyday an because I ask her certain questions like "do u care?" "Do u love me?" "Have I done something wrong?" It pisses her off, an I don't blame her after a while it'd piss me off too, but I thought I meant more to her than I did to let it get to her... I say teh wrong stuff an make her feel guilty an that's she's worthless without meaning too... But in reality... She means absolutely everything to me, she's all I think about an all I care about (apart from my floofs an mews) an I just want her happy. An I truly think that me disappearing an never speaking again would make her happier. Except as much as I think that an want to do it... I can't... I just can't seem to leave or not speak to her despite numerous attempts.
I've been asked out by a few people an ud think I'd dive at teh chance to be happy an have a nice relationship (which is what I want) but I turn them all down because I love her... An it wouldn't be fair on teh other person if I got with them an constantly thinking of someone else... Christmas Day... She told me she doesn't feel as strong as she used to... An yeah things had been tough I'd had some shitty times an I'd made her feel really uncomfortable, to which if ur reading this... I'm am so god damn sorry for... An I don't know what to do, I tried to invite her over so I could attempt to make her feel wanted an needed, but I fucked up there too with my shitty wording... Now she just doesn't wanna speak to me... Well no... I don't know if she does or doesn't tbf... She wants some space... Which I'm trying to give her I really am... But I'm scared I'm gonna loose her fully, an I know if I talk a lot I'll push her away more... But if I don't won't that show her that I don't care? Or wanna fight? I still hang on to her words of "I think he's teh one" so many people have hurt her an made her wary just like me, but I want to fight an I wanna prove to her not everyone are jerks an not everyone are out there to hurt u or drop u or just leave.
I wish she'd just realise how much she means to me an how much I'm willing to drop for her... :/

still doing tails if people are interested? ~
Starting at £20 for like 36"x5"
will be alil more if its more than one colour an size/species
can add wire if people want
message me
also, atm i have light blue and a bright lime green colour fur spare, so if anyone wants a tail from those colours i can do one for offers? obvs reasonable offers <3

HI ALL!!! ^w^
ive decided (cause i dont have a job an i get bored very very easily, an i need some extra pennies) im gonna be starting to make some tails (and possibly some ears if i master them)^w^ woop
ive already made three (german shepherd, wolf and bear)
i was thinking of selling them starting at £20 for like 36"x5"
obvs be alil more if its more than one colour an size/species
would anyone be interested?
will add up photos once ive stuffed the wolf an shep ones so people can see...
i can add wire if people want
so yeah message me if anyone is interested?

love ya all
teto <3