welp been a while since i've been on here been keeping myself busy. went to kotoricon like 2 weeks ago and OMG it was sooo fun lol i met the voice actor for Brock and shook his hand and everything! they had this little voice actor mock audition where i participated and he told me i did well, BUT what really made me happy as all hell was that a voice actor who worked with team fourstar went up to me specifically tapped my shoulder and said i did a good job. i tell ya what i screeched like a school girl. in other news i got dumped though but we're back together now buut it's kinda iffy i guess. i tell ya what though after kotoricon all of my depression seemed to have gone away. feels good man :D

Welp went to NY like 2 days ago and I had so much fun! :D Saw my girlfriend and it was just mind blowing that someone who i've really only talked to at a distance was like sitting right next to me. I even felt boob...BOOB :D we went to Manhattan and i got her a build-a-bear named candy. those things are fucking expensive...BUT she was worth it. afterwards me and my friend went to an anime shop and got us some posters a flag and matching bro necklaces. (the drill simon had from gurren lagan) man i can not wait to go back i tell ya what. hell if i had the cash i'd go back tomorrow so yeah that was my trip

the second i let my guard down more bullshit happens. I was talking to my girlfriend tonight and she started commenting about how she wanted to have a girl on the side. being bisexual and all, of course i said no and of course she didnt really like it. I told her straight up that I was scared that if she does then she will leave me for this random broad hell it wouldnt be the first time shit like that happened. She doesnt seem to understand how much it hurts to know that i'll never be enough to satisfy her..I know it's me too there is no way in hell that shit happens twice in a row without it being my fault. Maybe i should just accept the fact that i am going to be alone forever and there is nothing i can do about it because i just simply suck as a person. It's crazy how it's 4am, im in an emotional roller coaster, shaking like a bitch and my first instinct is to go on here and bitch about it. almost as if someone out there actually reads this and gives a damn. All in all i know they dont.....they say they do but they dont....

welp i've got an assload of things to do before I head up to New York. I'm just hoping I dont get lazy and not do em cuz that would suck. Also going to be moving to a new apartment soon since my house is nearly falling apart. Still looking for something to do during my down town since i have ALOT more now but luckily im no longer getting depressed when left alone so progress, slow progress but progress :D

well today is prob going to go by smother then these past couple of weeks, I plan on staying home instead of going out and just be on the phone with my girlfriend. yup Rob actually found someone who likes Rob for Rob :D. going to go visit her next week with most of my friends. going to work hard to make this work out

These past couple of months have been very very hard on Rob. Watching the woman i love fall for another guy just sent me spiraling down hill. Ever since then it just seems as though my life is going to shit. Family members abandoning me, seem to be losing friends nearly everyday, hell i've even been hospitalized due to my shit health getting shittier. Through all of it I've just been watching myself get replaced...maybe im just being obsessive but i cant help it. I just wish i can go back in time and just apologize for being such a huge dick. Apologize for being controlling, apologize for not being supportive enough and for saying whatever mean things I said. In all I just want her to be happy and I hope she is. I really do..At this point I dont even want to take my medicine maybe in some kind of weird fucked up way im getting what i deserve and i should just accept it. Regardless I'm just typing what's off the top of my head. I don't feel any better...guess i'll give it more time...I'll just sit here and wait

Just posting to say i now have 5 MLP related shirts...I hope you're proud of me because i am

Details and such here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4925623/