So Elder Scrolls Online comes out in a few days, but if you pre-purchase it, you can get in 5 days early... so.. Like now...

But I want to join other furry gamers in this. So Seeing as I don't see many posts, I'm gonna start the ball rolling. I'll add in my servername soon. and We'll get set up a furry guild.

Also, I need some help looking for an artist to draw me a good Pin-up Reference pic. I still don't have enough Shale the Lion.. or even Shale Clydesdale pics. If you know any open good artists, let me know.

So, I'm playing League of Legonds... Actually been playing for a bit.. I still am not great.. but you can add me! My sommoner name is DCPanther

So another long time without and update.

Well, a LOT has changed, mostly. Had to move out of my old place, and get a new place. And the new place even has it's share of problems.... Can't really go into too much detail there.. Worked in SF for a month and it was fun, despite waking up at 5am every morning. But i'm also happy to have income again. E3 happened, and Microsoft and Xbox lost my loyalty. Happily I got a PS Vita for my Birthday, thanks to my 3 wonderful pets. Oh, and my birthday was last tuesday! OH Also, i had the privilage of attending Google IO. Got me a CHromeBook Pixel now.

So, Recently I've made a move, and I want as many people to follow as possible. I moved to G+ and more importantly, Google Hangouts. IMO It's BY FAR the best IM app around. Works across everything I'm using, and it supports video and pictures. Most of you who have android probabbly already have it. But. PLEASE, if you want to message me, best way is Shale Ari on Google Hangouts/Google+.

https://plus.google.com/u/0/1165986.....21249841/about <--My G+

So I know a ton of you are all at FCN, and thats'' cool. Shits really hit the fan in my life recently, and cons aren't even a remote possibility ATM.. BUT.... The good part is.. I've started DJing recently.. And Tonight, I play the big local Furry night club party. I spin the opening set at Frolic this month. So far I've done a few sets. One for another local furry event, and a couple others for our local GaymerSF chapter. I love doing it! Maybe if there is interest, i'll find a way to post a recording of my set.

So, first I'd like to wish everyone a happy new year.

Second I am going to FC. And I have my own room with my fox. We do have another space open.. And making an offer to anyone I trust. Its about 1/3 of costs. And I do have a few rules.. Like no getting pukey drunk.. Or being pukey drunk in the room... That's the big one.

So, first I'd like to wish everyone a happy new year.

Second I am going to FC. And I have my own room with my fox. We do have another space open.. And making an offer to anyone I trust. Its about 1/3 of costs. And I do have a few rules.. Like no getting pukey drunk.. Or being pukey drunk in the room... That's the big one.

So, first I'd like to wish everyone a happy new year.

Second I am going to FC. And I have my own room with my fox. We do have another space open.. And making an offer to anyone I trust. Its about 1/3 of costs. And I do have a few rules.. Like no getting pukey drunk.. Or being pukey drunk in the room... That's the big one.

So, It looks like Things are happening and I'll be attending MFF this year. I should have put things into play earlier, but alas, I always knew I had to come back for the con. I miss the Midwest. Only things is I gotta find a way to see my my Grandma when I visit. I may or may not need Room space or somewhere to be on Wed night

Also, I recently sold my mac and picked up a new laptop. It's a gorgous Asus... damn-near Netbook. It's 11.6 inches, and has a touch screen and runs Windows 8. I loves it.

So, Here I am, A lion in the Bay area.. and Here is how life has gone

1. New Roommate/Pet: So, I have now an live-in Fox.  illford_baker Moved in in Aug, and has lived here since. It's been awesome having him here, and He's been getting used to living on his own, and living with me. I got him a Job at the place I work, and we are both looking for better.

2. Devices: Just picked up a Ultrabook for HELLA cheap, well for an Ultrabook. For Under $600 after tax, I got an 13.3 inch Ultrabook, running a 1.8 Ghz i7 Ivy Bridge, 128 GB SSD.. Only neg.. It's an Acer. I Sold my Mac Mini.. so it was oddly no loss in money! I also picked up a Nexus 7 a few months ago, and am running a Unlocked GNex on T-Mobile.. Changed to a California Number, so If you want it, drop me a note. No iPad fer me anymore.. actually No Apple stuff in my home. Got one roommate over to Android, and My Fox has the same Phone/Tablet combo as me.

3. Money: So... It's not terrible, but not brilliant. MFF is gonna be hard. Could deffinatly use some financial help, mostly on plane tickets. But doing my damndest to get home this fall. I REALLY miss my Midwest folk.. in a list to long to prattle off. But, if you're reading this, you're probably on that list. Working for a new job still though. I really desperately want to get into IT.

4. Potpourri: I dunno, this is left over stuff. I got into Dr Who, finally. I'm in LOVE with David Tennant. Not gonna lie. OH Also... it's finally happened, I'm doing Staff at a furry convention next year. for FC next year. I'm on staff!!! Yay!

Anyway, that's all I can think of for now.

So, Last Monday (6/11) was my birthday.

Things are still kinda rocky socially, but new job prospects are on the horizon. Speaking of Jobs, I got a new job a month or so ago, and was subsequently laid off a month later. Other than that, new phone and phone number.

Now, have a Meme

Post the symbol, let me know what you think about me :3

SINGLE OR NOT put this as your journal & see what you get

♥ = I want a relationship with you

C: = I'm falling for you

:3 = I miss you

;] = i really like you

:* = I want to kiss you

:< = I hate you

: X = I like you

O: = I like you but im in a relationship

:/ = I like you but your in a relationship

:] = You're cute

</3 = I regret leaving you

:b = We should get to know each other

;^) = We should hang out

<3 = I love you.. \o/

<:^ = i want to know you

@FT@=*stalk*

eue= You're hot

<:3 = You're a great friend

^_^ = We're friends

^.^ = We're best friends

>;3 = I want you on top

>:3 = I want on top

Also known as, the value of loyalty.

So, for a long time, I've been around FA, and seen many people put in a list of friends, and so many times I see them say "If you mess with my friends and loved ones, you mess with me" or something along those lines. And I'd read it, and It'd make me feel lonely. And I never really knew why.. Until today when I was going to connect a good friend of mine with someone that she had things in common with... But the person had been a dick to me in the past. The friend, declined the offer and sent me a private message saying "I wouldn't want to talk to someone who was an asshole to you just because we have something in common." (BTW, to the friend who said that and will defiantly read this, I made this vague because it was private, and you don't need to make it unprivate if you don't want to). But that's when it finally clicked in my head.

So, people who have known me for a long time, know that if someone has wronged me, I get a bit emotional when a close friend of mine becomes friends with them. Now, I'm not talking simple disagreements, Usually it's serious wronging. Well "Serious" not so much involving injury, death or harassment.... But I would get all chastised for making people choose and what not. But.. now I have figured out why it bothers me so.

It's disloyal. If someone wrongs me, I want people close to be my backup.. or my pack/family. But when you meet someone, know what they did to me, as your friend, and feel I'm wrong for discouraging you to be together, it sends me a message. At the least, it says you just have no loyalty towards me, or feel that we are equal in level of friendship. At worst, in my mind, it communicates that you support this person's actions.And in many of these situations, it's someone who is supposed to be very close to me.. including Mates and pets.

Now, I've been on the bad side of that, Piss off one person in a group of close friends, and either they come down on me, or all turn their backs on me. But, You know, i expect it. And it's not Just a furry thing, it's a Non furry way to act too. And when a friend does it, to me.. where they continue developing a friendship with a person who has wrong me, it just makes me value them less.. Because it shows I can't count on them. Cause 9/10 they "don't want to be in the middle of drama" so, if person is bad mouthing me, they just brush it off and not say anything either way.

Are there exceptions? Yeah. If it's a long time friend of theirs.. No.. I don't expect them to break off cause the new friend says bad things. And if it's clear that we are on equal ground to that friend, no. But if you've crossed into the zone where you are a pet, mate, or Close friend, and newer person comes in.. better believe I expect loyalty. I would do the same for you.

No, I don't have cake.. but if you get the song refrence, you get... cool points!

So..... Unrleated journal GO!

San Jose is cool!

Here is my life in a nutshell

Career: Working on it, I have a couple really awesome prospects, one of them being my own start up (looking for programmers) or possibly working IT at a mobile game company. But my current job still sucks.

Personal: Roomates are pretty cool. This place has an odd, cool vibe about it. I love the clubs in the area, SJ has some pretty Baws clubs!

Social: I'm finding it REALLY hard to make friends here. I'm honestly quite lonely.

Love: I am in love with someone... but sadly he just moved... to Chicago! (d'oh!)

Oh.. And, yeah.. I changed my fursona.. It's technically a minor change. I'm no longer a leopard, I'm a Lion!. New pic coming soon!

I think according to FA's guidelines, I can't post it here, but I can post this link.

http://soundcloud.com/dustin-cromwe.....er-rough-mix-2

Plz listen and tell me what you think. either here or on Soundcloud.

I think according to FA's guidelines, I can't post it here, but I can post this link.

http://soundcloud.com/dustin-cromwe.....er-rough-mix-2

Plz listen and tell me what you think. either here or on Soundcloud.

I'm kinda jazzed about tonight, It's Frolic, which combines 2 awesome things.. Clubbing in San Francisco and a Furmeet!

The lies people tell themselves....

In my years in this fandom, I've become a bit of a cynic. Yeah, I know I'm negative. But, I don't think it's entirely my fault.I'm a bit of a mirror of the way I'm treated. And I pay a lot of attention. Now I'll confess that, sure, some of my problem is being negative, and "whiny", but that isn't the big problem. The big problem is... People, especially furs, are Shallow.

Now, don't worry, I hear "oh, i'm not shallow" all the time.. or "looks don't matter". And my response in my head, 60% of the time is, You fucking liar, looks do matter. Many times, though, they aren't lieing to me, they are lieng to themselves. In their own mind, maybe they think it's not something that matters to them. They will talk to, fuck, whatever, people who they consider "not hot". But when their self illusion falls apart is when they do meet their hot person..

Now, I know I rant about Shallow people a lot on here, but, I think i'm a pretty good speaker on the subject. As some of you may know, I'm not an attractive person ( http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3041035/ ) I'm what most people would consider ugly. No no no.. I am, I hate it, but I am. But being that, i of course watch the pretty people. Or if not pretty, Endowed.. Either way, I know for even the most "not shallow" furry, most of the time, good looking people just have to not be an asshole, and they are awesome! And the same person, I can talk to for months, try to be friends with them, and they will either a) continue to keep their guard up, or b) Still be nice and say we're friends and all, but obviously keep me as a low priority over more attractive friends.

Of course, I've heard all the (weak) defenses to this behavior. Things like, not comparing or people saying they don't put one friend over another. I think this is true for very few people. I'm one of those of course.. mainly because I spend too much time on the short end of that stick. Not that everyone who approaches me is my best friend.. in fact, nowadays, i can be very guarded. But, again, to most, that's another lie they tell themselves, not me. It eventually get's stupid....

So, am I innocent? Well, not totally. I'll admit, i'm attracted to people.. Some guys I'd like to get to know better because they are sexy. And the best part is, I feel guilty about it. At the same time, sometimes I will avoid and be even MORE guarded to attractive people or popular furs. But, no matter what, it still happens. And I've had to ignore my defenses as I'm in a new area and I have to start from scratch as far as making friends work. Either way, that's my rant. If you've read this far and want to comment.. remember, I warned you not to read...

So, in a few short hours, I will be on a plane to San Francisco bay area. I will be living in San Jose, and starting a new life. It's a big move, I have to say, i'm pretty scared. I've never ben outside of Illinois in my adult life.

Anyway, if you live in the Bay area, or know any Bay Area folks that are cool, let me know.

So, this wasn't a very good weekend. We'll just say.. Bad social interactions. And of course, once again, I start blaming myself.. The same demons, I'm ugly, I'm a bad person, blah blah blah.. you know the drill by now.

I lost 3 friends, one being a pet. It was the pet that made me realize something.

So, when the relationship with the pet broke, I kinda felt like.. It was a waste of my time to have cared about him so long.. It gets old to keep feeling my heart getting broken by people who just are really selfish and only care about themselves, their favored "species" or whomever they want to fuck at the current moment... But fuck-all, I care about people, and it's not going to change. And yeah, it means more heartbreak and BS, from shallow furs.. cause... well.. furs are shallow. But, i'll keep on caring about people.. cause it's who I am.

And hey, for every lameo who leaves my life, it opens up a new chance for someone who might see me as someone special.

And posting this isn't drama.. Neither one of these people look at my FA, MAYBE one of them will read this. One is a fox who has his eyes more set on a raptor.. the second Just wants dragons and huskies, and the third.. well.. love is more than just a word. Your actions show your love much more than regurgitating the word will.

Was fun all in all. Don't know if I made any new friends. Ups and downs there were, but... Twas good. Had fun with those I met, and I'm sorry I missed those I didn't meet.

May post more later..

Next stop, California, and after that, FC!

So Yup, I'll be there. Will you?

I would really like to know

What if?~

● I died:
● I kissed you:
● I fell:
● I lived next door to you:
● I showed up at your house

unexpectedly:
● I stole something:
● I was murdered:
● I cried:
● I asked you to marry me:
● I was hospitalized:

~Would you~
● Trust me enough to sleep in the same bed as me?
● Keep a secret if i told you one?
● Hold my hand?
● Study with me?
● Cook for me?
● Love me?
● Date me?
● Have sex with me?

~More ~
● When and how did we meet?
● Describe me in three words.
● What was your first impression of me?
● What do you think of me now?
● What reminds you of me?
● Could you see us together forever?
● When's the last time you saw me?
● Are you gonna re-post this to see what I say about you?

So, I look through some galleries and, I feel sad.. So many others have pics with all their friends.. I mean.. like.. a LOT... and, i just have a bunch of Solo pics, save for... like 3. Other than, save for a few awesome pics... (you know who you are) Only people who want pics with me are people who already have a TON of pics with a bunch of other folks and the pics feel.. just meaningless.

So. there is another problem.. I don't know any artists... I don't know who is open, and the only artists i can find open are expensive.. and of course, some folks who want me to do a pic with them want me to pay for the whole thing.

I don't think my fursona is that Uninteresting that nobody want's to be a part of his Harem *grins*.

So in conclusion...
I want pics with friends.
I don't know good artists who are open
Or don't frequent FA enough to know when the artists I'm fans of have openings.
And I'm lacking the fundage to gift entire commissions myself. (only artist i know who is consistantly open is $75 for a 2 char pic.. that'll be done in several months)

...yup

So, that's it, I'm leaving FA. Furs suck... And seem to make the worst friends.

I won't delete stuff, but.. Who fucking cares, you don't, I don't..

EDIT: Wait, before I go, I need to do something. There is one person, Who has been.. possibly the best friend i have ever had in my life. Yadre,  yadre I love him dearly, and not in a romantic way, though he's certainly shown me what I want in a mate.. but as a friend and beloved person. In just 4 months, you've been, the best person I know. You listen to me, you support me, And you do so without judgement, and without insincerity. You show me who you are, and you love me for who I am. I hope distance and time doesn't deteriorate things.. And, know, you will be missed when you leave in a few short weeks.

Words don't seem to be enough to convey what i want to say, that's why I wanted to say this publically. As for the words, all i can find is Thank you.

I was gonna write a long con report, but.. I realized that's once again pointless.

I want to give shout out to  yadre for being awesome and a wonderful friend. And thank  pb_mutt  pb_tiger and  galadon_icefeather for saving my life. Uhm, also  timoran and  mranti were also great roommates as well. And Thanks to  cimaron for your kindness.

Got a new Commision which I will post, but till then I will link to at the end of the journal post. I did the Who's Line panel, FNAR... Did good appearently, though I don't think i was as good as some people told me. I do want to apologize to Yadre for taking his last con day, but I was happy he spent it with me, or I would have been sad AND sick.. (Yes... i got.. way too drunk Saturday night and lost the whole last day of the con)

And BTW, Boo to people saying bad stuff about me behind my back.