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By the Godess, I just can't get a break...
Posted 13 years agoSo this morning I was already upset and about to have a breakdown from how stressed out and exhausted I was and only getting 4 hours of sleep last night because of insomnia. In respones to this:
CrushedCrowd wrote:you're the really force of nature, I imagine what it feels like having all that health issues and still you have to take care of eevee, your pets and do your commissions
I posted:
Shayla06 wrote:This. This makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Someone noticed how I feel. *hug* My therapist was happily and thankfully surprised that I was able to keep going sheerly out of determination. You have no idea how much every morning I just want to not get out of bed... to relax... to just have one freaking day to myself to do nothing... But I don't get that. I have a baby I am almost solely responsible for. Ragnar is gone all day at work, and I'm left to watch her, feed her, change her, play with her, and take her to her appointments or with me to mine. My calendar this month has 13 appointments on it so far and more to be added, probably to 15 or 16. That means half the days this month I will have to drive Ragnar to work at 9am (meaning wake Eevee up early, get her dressed and fed, walk and feed the dogs, feed our parrot and make sure her water is clean, and -hopefully- eat breakfast so I can even take my painkiller AFTER all that), drop him off, get back home, try to get some work done (ie, commissions, dishes, laundry, etc.) while Eevee is playing or watching a movie, make sure Eevee gets her sippy cup of milk and takes her nap at or around 11, take me/her to my/her appointment (I schedule them all after naptime for a reason), get home from said appointment (all of mine are an hour away!), get Eevee changed, fed lunch, some play time, sippy cup, and to her second nap by 4, try to get some more work done around the house or on commissions until she wakes up at 5:30-6, change another diaper, play until 6:30, get her cleaned up and ready to go, pick up Rangar by 7, either go pick up dinner (which we can't afford) or get home, walk the dogs again, make or let Ragnar make dinner, feed us and Eevee, -on a great day- give Eevee a bath, get Eevee her last sippy cup, lay her down to sleep, spend a few moments of quality time with Ragnar if possible, and then go to bed at a reasonable time. Last night we got to bed at 11, I couldn't sleep, and I ended up staying up until 3am. X.=.x This is my average day. I do all this while hurting constantly, more so when I move, stand, bend over, or sit still too long. Meanwhile, my brain is constantly working against me bringing up the worst possible outcome for everything and telling me I should just give up and stop moving and that everyone that isn't someone I trust completely is trying to kill me and/or judging every action I do. I'm terrified every time I leave my apartment, particularly without Ragnar with me. I am constantly fighting and bouncing between severe depression and terrible anxiety and panic attack problems. Meanwhile, standing makes me dizzy, nauseous, and swell. This is my day.
I feel like I should post this as its own journal. */end rant*
Then after all that this morning... I get a phone call from an unknown number.
This unknown number happens to be a nurse at Baptist Hospital calling me. My father told me he was getting an ultrasound of his gallbladder done today because they thought he might have gallstones. The nurse said he could not drive home and he needed me to come pick him up. I wasn't expecting this since an ultrasound does not require anesthesia. I had JUST gotten Eevee to sleep and she had an appointment in two hours. I was not prepared at all to go pick Dad up and didn't really have the time, but he doesn't have anyone else who would do it. He has run away all his other friends with his "charming" personality save one who will visit rarely.
So I called Dad and asked why it was he needed a ride from an ultrasound appointment. He hadn't been sedated. He told me that they found he did, in fact, have gallstones and that he also had spots on his liver. These spots are probably cancer, and he goes back this afternoon to get them tested via CAT Scan. The reason they did not want him driving home was because the liver damage was causing him to lose coordination and memory. Much to my protest, he said he was fine and that he would drive himself. After all, he drove himself there. The doctors did not just not want him driving home. They don't want him driving PERIOD. So after finally being able to pull myself away from Dad and start to tell him "No" once in a while, now I'm going to get roped into driving him EVERYWHERE. He lives 30 minutes away. At least his one friend agreed to take him to his CAT Scan today. X.=.x
As an added bonus, I sent a message to my three siblings saying what was up. I'm the only one here in Oklahoma. One lives in Pennsylvania, the other two live in Georgia. I asked them for help. I know one is poorer than I am (she's literally being kicked out on the street as soon as the bank decides to send someone there and her boyfriend who was paying the bills other than her house payment just got put in jail because he couldn't afford to pay his due child support.). I don't expect her to be able to do anything. Of the other two, one is pretty well-to-do and does photography from home, the other is retired and outright rich (retired psychiatrist). I asked them for help, and only the photographer answered with a "What can I do?" ... Um... Fucking help? Call him? God forbid you drop your not-busy schedule full of vacationing on islands and fucking beaches to come visit your own father.
I'm done. I can't handle this crap. I'm having a panic attack and now I have to go out in public - which I already hate - and take my daughter to her physical therapy. When I get home, she's going to eat, take a nap, and I'm probably going to go have a nervous breakdown somewhere and attempt to chew my own arm off...
CrushedCrowd wrote:you're the really force of nature, I imagine what it feels like having all that health issues and still you have to take care of eevee, your pets and do your commissions
I posted:
Shayla06 wrote:This. This makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Someone noticed how I feel. *hug* My therapist was happily and thankfully surprised that I was able to keep going sheerly out of determination. You have no idea how much every morning I just want to not get out of bed... to relax... to just have one freaking day to myself to do nothing... But I don't get that. I have a baby I am almost solely responsible for. Ragnar is gone all day at work, and I'm left to watch her, feed her, change her, play with her, and take her to her appointments or with me to mine. My calendar this month has 13 appointments on it so far and more to be added, probably to 15 or 16. That means half the days this month I will have to drive Ragnar to work at 9am (meaning wake Eevee up early, get her dressed and fed, walk and feed the dogs, feed our parrot and make sure her water is clean, and -hopefully- eat breakfast so I can even take my painkiller AFTER all that), drop him off, get back home, try to get some work done (ie, commissions, dishes, laundry, etc.) while Eevee is playing or watching a movie, make sure Eevee gets her sippy cup of milk and takes her nap at or around 11, take me/her to my/her appointment (I schedule them all after naptime for a reason), get home from said appointment (all of mine are an hour away!), get Eevee changed, fed lunch, some play time, sippy cup, and to her second nap by 4, try to get some more work done around the house or on commissions until she wakes up at 5:30-6, change another diaper, play until 6:30, get her cleaned up and ready to go, pick up Rangar by 7, either go pick up dinner (which we can't afford) or get home, walk the dogs again, make or let Ragnar make dinner, feed us and Eevee, -on a great day- give Eevee a bath, get Eevee her last sippy cup, lay her down to sleep, spend a few moments of quality time with Ragnar if possible, and then go to bed at a reasonable time. Last night we got to bed at 11, I couldn't sleep, and I ended up staying up until 3am. X.=.x This is my average day. I do all this while hurting constantly, more so when I move, stand, bend over, or sit still too long. Meanwhile, my brain is constantly working against me bringing up the worst possible outcome for everything and telling me I should just give up and stop moving and that everyone that isn't someone I trust completely is trying to kill me and/or judging every action I do. I'm terrified every time I leave my apartment, particularly without Ragnar with me. I am constantly fighting and bouncing between severe depression and terrible anxiety and panic attack problems. Meanwhile, standing makes me dizzy, nauseous, and swell. This is my day.
I feel like I should post this as its own journal. */end rant*
Then after all that this morning... I get a phone call from an unknown number.
This unknown number happens to be a nurse at Baptist Hospital calling me. My father told me he was getting an ultrasound of his gallbladder done today because they thought he might have gallstones. The nurse said he could not drive home and he needed me to come pick him up. I wasn't expecting this since an ultrasound does not require anesthesia. I had JUST gotten Eevee to sleep and she had an appointment in two hours. I was not prepared at all to go pick Dad up and didn't really have the time, but he doesn't have anyone else who would do it. He has run away all his other friends with his "charming" personality save one who will visit rarely.
So I called Dad and asked why it was he needed a ride from an ultrasound appointment. He hadn't been sedated. He told me that they found he did, in fact, have gallstones and that he also had spots on his liver. These spots are probably cancer, and he goes back this afternoon to get them tested via CAT Scan. The reason they did not want him driving home was because the liver damage was causing him to lose coordination and memory. Much to my protest, he said he was fine and that he would drive himself. After all, he drove himself there. The doctors did not just not want him driving home. They don't want him driving PERIOD. So after finally being able to pull myself away from Dad and start to tell him "No" once in a while, now I'm going to get roped into driving him EVERYWHERE. He lives 30 minutes away. At least his one friend agreed to take him to his CAT Scan today. X.=.x
As an added bonus, I sent a message to my three siblings saying what was up. I'm the only one here in Oklahoma. One lives in Pennsylvania, the other two live in Georgia. I asked them for help. I know one is poorer than I am (she's literally being kicked out on the street as soon as the bank decides to send someone there and her boyfriend who was paying the bills other than her house payment just got put in jail because he couldn't afford to pay his due child support.). I don't expect her to be able to do anything. Of the other two, one is pretty well-to-do and does photography from home, the other is retired and outright rich (retired psychiatrist). I asked them for help, and only the photographer answered with a "What can I do?" ... Um... Fucking help? Call him? God forbid you drop your not-busy schedule full of vacationing on islands and fucking beaches to come visit your own father.
I'm done. I can't handle this crap. I'm having a panic attack and now I have to go out in public - which I already hate - and take my daughter to her physical therapy. When I get home, she's going to eat, take a nap, and I'm probably going to go have a nervous breakdown somewhere and attempt to chew my own arm off...
To those who know me "in person"...
Posted 13 years agoRight now I feel very let down by all of you, but it occurs to me that maybe I haven't been clear. I hate having to spell this out like this. Hell, I hate having to say this at all. I have pride, and it makes this very hard for me. So in case it hasn't been clear to you, let me say three little words that are the hardest of things for me say but need to be said...
I NEED HELP.
There. I said it. I thought it was obvious before, but maybe it wasn't. I realize I've done everything I can to hide or cover up my disabilities and insecurities, but it's a new year and I'm going to work to change that. No more hiding. I am disabled and I really need my friends right now...
Yes, I have money problems. Yes, we need more money. But I'm not asking for money. I'm not asking for commissions - I have plenty that I'm having trouble finishing and more people want from me that I told them to wait to ask for. I don't want your money or your art or art requests. I want HELP. I want friends. Real friends. Friends who care when I need help and will come over or at least text me once in a while. Friends who don't ignore my messages or act like I'm fine when I'm not or only show up when I have something to offer. I'm sick of people only agreeing to see me when I give them what little stuff we can afford, and I'm upset because anymore people won't even come over when I /do/ offer them stuff. I have a very fragile mental state, and it hurts me on a deep level when people act friendly but don't really care. I offered people alcohol, food, games, anything I could think of... and people still wouldn't come over. Am I really that intolerable? I try to be as friendly and kind and caring as I can, but lately it has gotten me nothing but grief and I'm sick of it. I just want a friend. Just one. Just one good friend I can rely on when I need a hug or to talk or when I need a ride somewhere and don't have a car or when I need help just getting around because I hurt so badly I can hardly move (which has become a regular part of my day now) or when I just need to cry on someone. Anyone? Is there even one of you here in this state who will even attempt to be a good friend or just a decent f*cking human being?
....
40. I send messages weekly to FORTY local furs inviting them over every Friday for months. At least 30 of you have never been here once. Of the rest, only 2 or 3 have shown up regularly - by which I mean more than twice. Twice. I offered food, alcohol, games, movies, friends, and a place to crash, and no one would come over. We offered a guy a freaking blow job and we couldn't get anyone to come over. Do you people know what you do to me? You're all I've got. No, really. I have a panic disorder. I do not EVER leave my apartment if I can help it. It took a MAJOR step on my part and a lot of courage and trust to invite you people over, and you betrayed it. I gave you my heart, and you f*cking ripped it out and stomped on it. Thank guys. I guess I have no friends, after all. I'm f*cking done. I'm not messaging all you people anymore if all you're ever going to do is ignore me. Most don't even bother with an "I'm busy" or "Not right now." Nothing. I can't handle this magnitude of rejection... And I've spent the better part of the day crying because the only person I could get to listen to me when I FELL TWICE today because I can hardly even f*cking walk anymore is in SCOTLAND. Some random non-fur in SCOTLAND that I met today cared more about my problems and did more to comfort me than any of you people have in months. Way to be a friend.
Unfortunately, a friend overseas can do nothing for what I actually need help with. I have mental problems and physical ones. The mental ones are severe enough that I have applied for disability and my therapist told me I qualified for full disability on that alone. My physical handicaps are enough to have probably gotten me disability as well. I have arthritis and it's bad. I'm 24, and I can barely stand, walk, bend over, reach the floor, or pick up my baby girl. It's hell on me and my messed up joints to try to watch my child all day, to get in the floor with her to play, to change her diapers, to walk my dogs, or even to do basic things to take care of myself. I hurt the entire time I am drawing, but I keep forcing myself to do it because we need the income. I get dizzy just standing up most of the time, my heart flutters, I can't breathe, sometimes I get nauseous, and sometimes I just fall over for no reason as if I momentarily blacked out. My doctor has no idea why. We don't even know what type of arthritis I have, let alone what caused it. My blood work said I had high inflammation (read "bad arthritis") but no Rheumatoid factor. Everything else was normal besides some low B-12, so he didn't know why I felt so bad, told me to take a multivitimin and Aleve, and come back in a few months. Months. More months of being in agony for no reason anyone can find with no one to help me, no support at all, not even people to talk to all day while my husband goes to work to try to support us both and our daughter. I feel completely useless and helpless and lost, and I have no one at all anymore.
I have no family within a THOUSAND miles except my father, who caused most of my mental problems or made them worse. I have no friends that seem to give a damn about me. All I have are some random strangers online who live far away to talk to. I am thankful for them, and I look forward to their random messages... but what I really need is someone to be here with me, someone I can rely on to be there for me when I need to talk or when I have a problem. All you people I chat with, all your random furs I invited into my house... I would have been there for you in a heartbeat if you needed me. I probably still would as betrayed as I feel right now. I would do anything in my power for you. I don't have money, but I raised nearly a hundred dollars in a week for a total stranger when she thought she might lose her home. Of course I would have done the same for any of you. Would any of you have raised a finger to help me? Obviously not, since I've said repeatedly that I needed money (we had a $1.94 between us on December 1st - after payday and paying rent) and that I am in pain.
I'm not pointing fingers or naming names. A few of you have done great things for me in the past, but lately no one has done jack or shit for me, and I could really use some help. I can't lift things. I can't walk properly. It takes me a half hour to get out of bed in the morning most days. It takes me several tries just to stand sometimes. Some days I can't stand at all. My husband is amazing, sweet, and awesome and I love him to death, but he has to work so we don't starve any worse, and I could really use friends who could at least come over now and again and help out, even if it's with stupid stuff like helping me carry groceries or carrying Eevee or just sitting her in her bed. Little things you probably take from granted are terribly difficult for me. I've tried to hide it for as long as I can. I can't hide it anymore. My hands curl when I relax them. My knee locks in place. My feet are deformed, and my joints are swollen and sore. My mind is not all there and it has been sitting in very dark places lately. I am sick and sore and exhausted and ready to just give up entirely, and I have no friends at all here to support me. I've tried calling people and crying, I've tried begging and screaming and ranting, and I've tried being silent, "dealing with it," trying to ignore my problems, hide them, cover them up, or play them off. I can't keep this up. I just felt I needed to vent a while. Sorry. But I'm not going back. I'm not going to sit here and rot while I care about everyone else and no gives a shit about me. If I'm going to sit in my apartment alone and watch my messed-up body wither, break down, and die, I will make damn sure that everyone else knows it and that I repeat it until someone finally f*cking cares. I'm done being ignored. Someone, for the love of whatever you find to be holy, please help me.... HELP ... ME. I am drowning in a crowded pool and no one at all is willing to look my way and offer me a hand. Please. I just want someone to f*cking care... to talk to... to ask how I'm doing... I don't want to be alone while I sit here in some of the worst pain of my life and feel like I'm dying... Why won't anyone help me? .... ... ... Can't... write more... sobbing... *balls up to cry alone*
I NEED HELP.
There. I said it. I thought it was obvious before, but maybe it wasn't. I realize I've done everything I can to hide or cover up my disabilities and insecurities, but it's a new year and I'm going to work to change that. No more hiding. I am disabled and I really need my friends right now...
Yes, I have money problems. Yes, we need more money. But I'm not asking for money. I'm not asking for commissions - I have plenty that I'm having trouble finishing and more people want from me that I told them to wait to ask for. I don't want your money or your art or art requests. I want HELP. I want friends. Real friends. Friends who care when I need help and will come over or at least text me once in a while. Friends who don't ignore my messages or act like I'm fine when I'm not or only show up when I have something to offer. I'm sick of people only agreeing to see me when I give them what little stuff we can afford, and I'm upset because anymore people won't even come over when I /do/ offer them stuff. I have a very fragile mental state, and it hurts me on a deep level when people act friendly but don't really care. I offered people alcohol, food, games, anything I could think of... and people still wouldn't come over. Am I really that intolerable? I try to be as friendly and kind and caring as I can, but lately it has gotten me nothing but grief and I'm sick of it. I just want a friend. Just one. Just one good friend I can rely on when I need a hug or to talk or when I need a ride somewhere and don't have a car or when I need help just getting around because I hurt so badly I can hardly move (which has become a regular part of my day now) or when I just need to cry on someone. Anyone? Is there even one of you here in this state who will even attempt to be a good friend or just a decent f*cking human being?
....
40. I send messages weekly to FORTY local furs inviting them over every Friday for months. At least 30 of you have never been here once. Of the rest, only 2 or 3 have shown up regularly - by which I mean more than twice. Twice. I offered food, alcohol, games, movies, friends, and a place to crash, and no one would come over. We offered a guy a freaking blow job and we couldn't get anyone to come over. Do you people know what you do to me? You're all I've got. No, really. I have a panic disorder. I do not EVER leave my apartment if I can help it. It took a MAJOR step on my part and a lot of courage and trust to invite you people over, and you betrayed it. I gave you my heart, and you f*cking ripped it out and stomped on it. Thank guys. I guess I have no friends, after all. I'm f*cking done. I'm not messaging all you people anymore if all you're ever going to do is ignore me. Most don't even bother with an "I'm busy" or "Not right now." Nothing. I can't handle this magnitude of rejection... And I've spent the better part of the day crying because the only person I could get to listen to me when I FELL TWICE today because I can hardly even f*cking walk anymore is in SCOTLAND. Some random non-fur in SCOTLAND that I met today cared more about my problems and did more to comfort me than any of you people have in months. Way to be a friend.
Unfortunately, a friend overseas can do nothing for what I actually need help with. I have mental problems and physical ones. The mental ones are severe enough that I have applied for disability and my therapist told me I qualified for full disability on that alone. My physical handicaps are enough to have probably gotten me disability as well. I have arthritis and it's bad. I'm 24, and I can barely stand, walk, bend over, reach the floor, or pick up my baby girl. It's hell on me and my messed up joints to try to watch my child all day, to get in the floor with her to play, to change her diapers, to walk my dogs, or even to do basic things to take care of myself. I hurt the entire time I am drawing, but I keep forcing myself to do it because we need the income. I get dizzy just standing up most of the time, my heart flutters, I can't breathe, sometimes I get nauseous, and sometimes I just fall over for no reason as if I momentarily blacked out. My doctor has no idea why. We don't even know what type of arthritis I have, let alone what caused it. My blood work said I had high inflammation (read "bad arthritis") but no Rheumatoid factor. Everything else was normal besides some low B-12, so he didn't know why I felt so bad, told me to take a multivitimin and Aleve, and come back in a few months. Months. More months of being in agony for no reason anyone can find with no one to help me, no support at all, not even people to talk to all day while my husband goes to work to try to support us both and our daughter. I feel completely useless and helpless and lost, and I have no one at all anymore.
I have no family within a THOUSAND miles except my father, who caused most of my mental problems or made them worse. I have no friends that seem to give a damn about me. All I have are some random strangers online who live far away to talk to. I am thankful for them, and I look forward to their random messages... but what I really need is someone to be here with me, someone I can rely on to be there for me when I need to talk or when I have a problem. All you people I chat with, all your random furs I invited into my house... I would have been there for you in a heartbeat if you needed me. I probably still would as betrayed as I feel right now. I would do anything in my power for you. I don't have money, but I raised nearly a hundred dollars in a week for a total stranger when she thought she might lose her home. Of course I would have done the same for any of you. Would any of you have raised a finger to help me? Obviously not, since I've said repeatedly that I needed money (we had a $1.94 between us on December 1st - after payday and paying rent) and that I am in pain.
I'm not pointing fingers or naming names. A few of you have done great things for me in the past, but lately no one has done jack or shit for me, and I could really use some help. I can't lift things. I can't walk properly. It takes me a half hour to get out of bed in the morning most days. It takes me several tries just to stand sometimes. Some days I can't stand at all. My husband is amazing, sweet, and awesome and I love him to death, but he has to work so we don't starve any worse, and I could really use friends who could at least come over now and again and help out, even if it's with stupid stuff like helping me carry groceries or carrying Eevee or just sitting her in her bed. Little things you probably take from granted are terribly difficult for me. I've tried to hide it for as long as I can. I can't hide it anymore. My hands curl when I relax them. My knee locks in place. My feet are deformed, and my joints are swollen and sore. My mind is not all there and it has been sitting in very dark places lately. I am sick and sore and exhausted and ready to just give up entirely, and I have no friends at all here to support me. I've tried calling people and crying, I've tried begging and screaming and ranting, and I've tried being silent, "dealing with it," trying to ignore my problems, hide them, cover them up, or play them off. I can't keep this up. I just felt I needed to vent a while. Sorry. But I'm not going back. I'm not going to sit here and rot while I care about everyone else and no gives a shit about me. If I'm going to sit in my apartment alone and watch my messed-up body wither, break down, and die, I will make damn sure that everyone else knows it and that I repeat it until someone finally f*cking cares. I'm done being ignored. Someone, for the love of whatever you find to be holy, please help me.... HELP ... ME. I am drowning in a crowded pool and no one at all is willing to look my way and offer me a hand. Please. I just want someone to f*cking care... to talk to... to ask how I'm doing... I don't want to be alone while I sit here in some of the worst pain of my life and feel like I'm dying... Why won't anyone help me? .... ... ... Can't... write more... sobbing... *balls up to cry alone*
Health Update and Note on Commissions
Posted 13 years agoNow that I've been in bed for 12 hours and feel a little less like death... I wanted to update everyone on my health. I went to the doctor yesterday (finally). He agreed I appear to have some form of arthritis. He also agreed it was probably Rheumatoid Arthritis. He also told me I have a cold, which has gotten worse even since I saw him. I'm stuffy, coughing, my throat hurts, and I have a fever. X.=.x
Back to the point at hand... (pun) I have arthritis. I had to do a ton of blood work, so I will find out more when that comes back on Thursday. One test -should- verify that I have RA, and the others were to determine why I've been feeling like poop lately. He thinks my anemia is back, so I got tested for that. He also said the swelling I've been having could be a thyroid problem or an electrolyte imbalance, so I'm being tested for those too. >.=.< In the meantime, he told me to take Tylenol and rest... So, of course, I took DayQuil and am working. >.=.>
Since it has at least been verified I have some form of arthritis, I expect my art is going to get progressively slower. That being said, I'm going to break my list up into two or three categories instead of how it is now. I will continue to take an unlimited amount of traditional art commissions because I can get them done quickly. BUT I'm putting a cap on how many digital commissions I will take at once. These take me much longer and are harder on my hands and eyes (also have eye problems, yes). I'm going to aim to finish one digital page a week, but some take longer than others (and I have 5 right now. D=). I also don't usually want more than two writing projects at a time because it's confusing, but I haven't had an issue with that yet, so for now those can stay in the "traditional" queue. Also, because digital art is harder and takes longer, I'm upping the prices by $5 all around to try to encourage people to take the traditional, faster route. >.=.> I'll try to get my price guide updated today. Traditional art, writing, and crafts will stay the same. ^.=.^; This increase in price does not apply to anyone who has already bought their commission, of course.
Sorry my art is going so slow, but I am still working. Slowly. Thank you to everyone for being so understanding. Hugs all around.
~Shayla
Back to the point at hand... (pun) I have arthritis. I had to do a ton of blood work, so I will find out more when that comes back on Thursday. One test -should- verify that I have RA, and the others were to determine why I've been feeling like poop lately. He thinks my anemia is back, so I got tested for that. He also said the swelling I've been having could be a thyroid problem or an electrolyte imbalance, so I'm being tested for those too. >.=.< In the meantime, he told me to take Tylenol and rest... So, of course, I took DayQuil and am working. >.=.>
Since it has at least been verified I have some form of arthritis, I expect my art is going to get progressively slower. That being said, I'm going to break my list up into two or three categories instead of how it is now. I will continue to take an unlimited amount of traditional art commissions because I can get them done quickly. BUT I'm putting a cap on how many digital commissions I will take at once. These take me much longer and are harder on my hands and eyes (also have eye problems, yes). I'm going to aim to finish one digital page a week, but some take longer than others (and I have 5 right now. D=). I also don't usually want more than two writing projects at a time because it's confusing, but I haven't had an issue with that yet, so for now those can stay in the "traditional" queue. Also, because digital art is harder and takes longer, I'm upping the prices by $5 all around to try to encourage people to take the traditional, faster route. >.=.> I'll try to get my price guide updated today. Traditional art, writing, and crafts will stay the same. ^.=.^; This increase in price does not apply to anyone who has already bought their commission, of course.
Sorry my art is going so slow, but I am still working. Slowly. Thank you to everyone for being so understanding. Hugs all around.
~Shayla
Charity Art for a Fur Friend of Mine in Need! Help?
Posted 13 years agoThat's right. 
Sweetnightmare is in need of $300 to keep from losing her house. Long story short, her roomie ran out on them the day rent was due - with their rent money. The cops said it was a "civil matter" because they gave him the money to pay rent with and did nothing. She really needs this money guys, or her, her fish, and her cat will be out of a home. =( If you want to donate, send me a PM and I'll send you her PayPal and put you down for some free artwork for your trouble. =3 Also, be sure to let me or her know that you donated from my journal and she'll make me some free stuff later too! Everyone wins. You get art, I get stuff, she gets to keep her house. Spread the word, ask around, and see if we can't make this happen ASAP! The more you donate, the better/more art you'll get. ^.=.^
I'm already behind on commissions, so I'm going to limit the art I do for this to traditional stuff (faster). Please help us out guys! She needs to save her living space, and if I can raise the full $300 for her, she'll return the favor by making my sweet kitty a full suit (and his birthday is coming up - he'd be thrilled)! Help a few poor furs out. Donate a few bucks. Every little bit helps! Thanks a bunch guys.
TL;DR: Donate to Sweetnightmare and tell her I sent you. You get free art; she keeps her house.
Donations: $0/$300
Sweetnightmare is in need of $300 to keep from losing her house. Long story short, her roomie ran out on them the day rent was due - with their rent money. The cops said it was a "civil matter" because they gave him the money to pay rent with and did nothing. She really needs this money guys, or her, her fish, and her cat will be out of a home. =( If you want to donate, send me a PM and I'll send you her PayPal and put you down for some free artwork for your trouble. =3 Also, be sure to let me or her know that you donated from my journal and she'll make me some free stuff later too! Everyone wins. You get art, I get stuff, she gets to keep her house. Spread the word, ask around, and see if we can't make this happen ASAP! The more you donate, the better/more art you'll get. ^.=.^I'm already behind on commissions, so I'm going to limit the art I do for this to traditional stuff (faster). Please help us out guys! She needs to save her living space, and if I can raise the full $300 for her, she'll return the favor by making my sweet kitty a full suit (and his birthday is coming up - he'd be thrilled)! Help a few poor furs out. Donate a few bucks. Every little bit helps! Thanks a bunch guys.
TL;DR: Donate to
Sweetnightmare and tell her I sent you. You get free art; she keeps her house.Donations: $0/$300
Sorry for being slow at putting out my art lately...
Posted 13 years agoI just feel like I need to apologize to my commissioners and watchers for taking so long to get art out lately. I could blame it on the holidays, but the truth is I haven't been that busy. Certainly there were a few days where I was at or hosting parties or cleaning up after them, but that's not what has slowed me down the most.
In the last few weeks, my joints have been hurting more and more. I ache when I wake up, when I sit still long, when I walk, and most relevantly, when I draw. I can only draw for 15 to 30 minutes at a time before my fingers hurt too bad to keep holding the pencil/tablet pen. For some reason, digital art is harder for me to do than traditional. Maybe it's just because it always takes me longer. =/ I'm working on it, but it's going VERY slowly. I have to draw for 15 minutes, and then go find something else I can do for an hour until my hands stop hurting. X.=.x
That being said, I am sorry my art is taking so long for me to complete. I AM still working on it, and I'm trying to get it all done ASAP. I apologize for the delays. I'll keep everyone updated and update the list on my homepage as things get done. >.=.>;
As for future commissions, I'm going to the doctor on the 7th. Hopefully I've just got something wrong that fixable (ie, a vitamin deficiency), but right now it looks like I might be developing Rheumatoid Arthritis. If that's what the doctor thinks, hopefully he can prescribe me something that will at least ease the pain some so I can get back to work at a faster pace. If not, my commissions will be permanently slowed. I'll have to start putting a cap on them so people aren't waiting a month in line for me to get to them. That's not fair to you to have to wait that long just for me to get to you. 6.=.6
If that is indeed the case, I'll probably be slowing down on digital work the most. I'll probably bump up the cost for digital work a bit more to encourage more traditional art. I can get that done much faster and easier... Those won't be slowed down nearly so much. I can do a sketch in 30 minutes most of the time, so traditional pages can still get done in a day or two. Digital, however, is taking me weeks a page right now. I'm sorry again, but I'm doing my best. X.=.x
In the last few weeks, my joints have been hurting more and more. I ache when I wake up, when I sit still long, when I walk, and most relevantly, when I draw. I can only draw for 15 to 30 minutes at a time before my fingers hurt too bad to keep holding the pencil/tablet pen. For some reason, digital art is harder for me to do than traditional. Maybe it's just because it always takes me longer. =/ I'm working on it, but it's going VERY slowly. I have to draw for 15 minutes, and then go find something else I can do for an hour until my hands stop hurting. X.=.x
That being said, I am sorry my art is taking so long for me to complete. I AM still working on it, and I'm trying to get it all done ASAP. I apologize for the delays. I'll keep everyone updated and update the list on my homepage as things get done. >.=.>;
As for future commissions, I'm going to the doctor on the 7th. Hopefully I've just got something wrong that fixable (ie, a vitamin deficiency), but right now it looks like I might be developing Rheumatoid Arthritis. If that's what the doctor thinks, hopefully he can prescribe me something that will at least ease the pain some so I can get back to work at a faster pace. If not, my commissions will be permanently slowed. I'll have to start putting a cap on them so people aren't waiting a month in line for me to get to them. That's not fair to you to have to wait that long just for me to get to you. 6.=.6
If that is indeed the case, I'll probably be slowing down on digital work the most. I'll probably bump up the cost for digital work a bit more to encourage more traditional art. I can get that done much faster and easier... Those won't be slowed down nearly so much. I can do a sketch in 30 minutes most of the time, so traditional pages can still get done in a day or two. Digital, however, is taking me weeks a page right now. I'm sorry again, but I'm doing my best. X.=.x
Ask Me Anything.
Posted 13 years agoI see people doing these once a week, but that's annoying. So I'm going to post this once and just leave it open. >.=.> If there's anything you ever wanted to know about me, ask away. =3 I can't think of anything right now that I would find too personal except maybe personally identifying information. If I decide I don't want to answer publicly, I'll send you an answer in a note. ^.=.^; But... Idk what I could say that I wouldn't want to say publicly. o.=.o;
Anyway! Since most of you don't know me very well or know basic topics to ask about, I'm going to make a list of things that have happened to me you can choose from. You can certainly ask about something not listed, but this is just to have a starting point. ^.=.^; In no particular order than how I thought of them, here are some topics relevant to my life:
1. Leukemia
2. Being born - unpleasantness warning
3. Parents
4. Siblings
5. "Incident" at 3 - also unpleasant
6. My thoughts on police
7. Favorites - colors/foods/movies/etc.
8. Religion
9. Beliefs (yes, these are separate)
10. Education
11. Exes
12. Abuse - this could get gorey >.=.>;
13. Neopets! =D
14. My sweet, adorable husband ~.=.^
15. Things I need to draw (I keep a running list.)
16. Pets
17. Eevee (my daughter, and my favorite pokemon)
18. Art! =D Goals, improvement, training, etc.
19. Current problems
20. Sexuality =3
21. My wedding
22. Health problems - mental/physical, possible
23. Other sites
24. Singing career
25. Instruments I play
26. Fears
27. Things I love!
28. Hopes, dreams, plans for the future
29. Figure skating
30. Furry stuff - suits, cons, badges, etc.
31. Christmas party
32. Disabled/Disability
33. Moving to OK
I'll add more if/when I think of them.
Since my sweet husband never actually used FA, I'll add things for him as well. Stories of his I can tell:
1. Hit by a tank, Humvee
2. Tank hit by a truck
3. Hit by a parked car
4. Hit by SUV while on bike
5. Hit by a skateboard (he gets hit a lot. o.=.o; )
6. Blown off his tank
7. Shot in Afghanistan
8. Drinking in Europe
9. Family
10. Sexuality
11. Nerdiness
12. Taking someone's gun pointed at him
13. Stabbed in the chest
14. Current job
15. Exes
Anyway! Since most of you don't know me very well or know basic topics to ask about, I'm going to make a list of things that have happened to me you can choose from. You can certainly ask about something not listed, but this is just to have a starting point. ^.=.^; In no particular order than how I thought of them, here are some topics relevant to my life:
1. Leukemia
2. Being born - unpleasantness warning
3. Parents
4. Siblings
5. "Incident" at 3 - also unpleasant
6. My thoughts on police
7. Favorites - colors/foods/movies/etc.
8. Religion
9. Beliefs (yes, these are separate)
10. Education
11. Exes
12. Abuse - this could get gorey >.=.>;
13. Neopets! =D
14. My sweet, adorable husband ~.=.^
15. Things I need to draw (I keep a running list.)
16. Pets
17. Eevee (my daughter, and my favorite pokemon)
18. Art! =D Goals, improvement, training, etc.
19. Current problems
20. Sexuality =3
21. My wedding
22. Health problems - mental/physical, possible
23. Other sites
24. Singing career
25. Instruments I play
26. Fears
27. Things I love!
28. Hopes, dreams, plans for the future
29. Figure skating
30. Furry stuff - suits, cons, badges, etc.
31. Christmas party
32. Disabled/Disability
33. Moving to OK
I'll add more if/when I think of them.
Since my sweet husband never actually used FA, I'll add things for him as well. Stories of his I can tell:
1. Hit by a tank, Humvee
2. Tank hit by a truck
3. Hit by a parked car
4. Hit by SUV while on bike
5. Hit by a skateboard (he gets hit a lot. o.=.o; )
6. Blown off his tank
7. Shot in Afghanistan
8. Drinking in Europe
9. Family
10. Sexuality
11. Nerdiness
12. Taking someone's gun pointed at him
13. Stabbed in the chest
14. Current job
15. Exes
Christmas Wishes!
Posted 13 years agoFirst off, Merry Christmas to all, and a fine New Year's. If I get my commission list caught up before then, I'll try to make some cheery, festive art for some of you. ^.=.^ I can't afford anything else... >.=.>; Which brings us to our next point - what do I want for Christmas? Well, my husband and I can't afford much for Christmas this year (we literally have $3 in change and in the bank right now). So the biggest thing is number 1.
1. Monies! I still have $3k in debt to pay off in student loans and credit card bills from moving. >.=.<
---PayPal: Shayla1[at]sbcglobal.net (put your username in the comment, and I'll draw you something!)
2. Commissions! Because I need money. I already have a lot, so keep wait times in mind.
3. Art! Even if you have no money, I always appreciate clean art of me and/or my husband. =3
---My ref: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8175134/
---His ref: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8092369/
Note: Ragnar does not approve of anyone, myself included, drawing his character in adult art. If you want to draw me in adult art, please ask first. >.=.>;
4. Friends! I love getting new watchers. Even if you aren't an artist, I appreciate advertisement. ^.=.^
5. Food. We need more of it. Haven't gotten food stamps yet. >.=.>;
6. Stuff. Pokemon anything, especially Eevees (my daughter's nickname is Eevee)! I'm also fond of Neopets stuff, dragon stuff, or just useful stuff. I really don't like lotion. I have like 10 bottles of it. Don't use the stuff. Not a girly-girl. D=
For more stuff:
Amazon - http://amzn.com/w/3NX3TW1DOVZ1W
^Thanks
Taasla. I forgot about this. ^.=.^;
I'll add more if I think of it. ^.=.^; Merry Christmas. =D
1. Monies! I still have $3k in debt to pay off in student loans and credit card bills from moving. >.=.<
---PayPal: Shayla1[at]sbcglobal.net (put your username in the comment, and I'll draw you something!)
2. Commissions! Because I need money. I already have a lot, so keep wait times in mind.
3. Art! Even if you have no money, I always appreciate clean art of me and/or my husband. =3
---My ref: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8175134/
---His ref: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8092369/
Note: Ragnar does not approve of anyone, myself included, drawing his character in adult art. If you want to draw me in adult art, please ask first. >.=.>;
4. Friends! I love getting new watchers. Even if you aren't an artist, I appreciate advertisement. ^.=.^
5. Food. We need more of it. Haven't gotten food stamps yet. >.=.>;
6. Stuff. Pokemon anything, especially Eevees (my daughter's nickname is Eevee)! I'm also fond of Neopets stuff, dragon stuff, or just useful stuff. I really don't like lotion. I have like 10 bottles of it. Don't use the stuff. Not a girly-girl. D=
For more stuff:
Amazon - http://amzn.com/w/3NX3TW1DOVZ1W
^Thanks
Taasla. I forgot about this. ^.=.^;I'll add more if I think of it. ^.=.^; Merry Christmas. =D
Yes/No Meme
Posted 13 years agoRules
1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages/comments you and asks. And believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming... things are not exactly as they seem.
3. It is harder than it looks, but NO explanations !!! You will want to... but don't!!!
Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? - No
Been arrested? - No
Kissed someone you didn't like? - Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? - Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? - Yes
Ran a red light? - Yes
Been suspended from school? - yes
Experienced love at first sight? - Yes
Totaled your car in an accident? - No
Been fired from a job? - No
Fired somebody? - No
Skydived? - No
Sang karaoke? - YES!
Pointed a gun at someone? - Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? - Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? - Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? - Yes
Kissed in the rain? - Yes
Had a close brush with death (your own)? - YES
Seen someone die? - No
Played spin-the-bottle? - Yes
Sang in the shower? - Yes
Smoked a cigar? - No?
Sat on a rooftop? - Yes
Taken pictures of yourself naked? - Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? - No
Skipped school? - Yes
Eaten a bug? - Yes
Sleepwalked? - No
Walked a moonlit beach? - Yes
Ridden a motorcycle? - No
Forgotten your anniversary? - No
Lied to avoid a ticket? - No
Ridden on a helicopter? - No
Shaved your head? - No
Blacked out from drinking? - Yes
Played a prank on someone? - Yes
Hit a home run? - No
Felt like killing someone? - YES
Cross-dressed? - Yes
Been falling-down drunk? - Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? - Yes
Eaten snake? - No
Marched/Protested? - Yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? - No
Puked on an amusement ride? - No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? - Yes
Been in a band? - Yes?
Knitted? - No
Been on TV? - Yes
Shot a gun? - Yes
Skinny-dipped? - No
Caused someone to need stitches? - Yes
Ridden a surfboard? - No
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? - Yes
Had surgery? - Yes
Taken by ambulance to hospital? - Yes
Passed out when not drinking? - Yes?
Peed on a bush? - No
Donated Blood? - NO
Grabbed electric fence? - Yes
Eaten alligator meat? - No
Eaten cheesecake? - Yes
Eaten kids' Halloween candy? - Yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? - Yes
Peed your pants in public? - No
Written graffiti? - Yes
Still love someone you shouldn't? - Yes
Think about the future? - Yes
Been in handcuffs? - Yes
Believe in love? - Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? - Yes
Been to a furry convention? - Yes
Own a fursuit? - No?
Bungee-Jumped? - No
Stolen something? - Yes
Kissed someone, same gender? - Yes
Kissed someone, different gender? - Yes
Had sex in public? - Yes
Skipped a night? - No?
Lied? - Yes
Created a Meme? - No
Been to another continent? - Yes
Been in a country without knowing the language? - Yes
Have seen a parent naked? - Yes
Any questions feel free to ask.
1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages/comments you and asks. And believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming... things are not exactly as they seem.
3. It is harder than it looks, but NO explanations !!! You will want to... but don't!!!
Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? - No
Been arrested? - No
Kissed someone you didn't like? - Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? - Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? - Yes
Ran a red light? - Yes
Been suspended from school? - yes
Experienced love at first sight? - Yes
Totaled your car in an accident? - No
Been fired from a job? - No
Fired somebody? - No
Skydived? - No
Sang karaoke? - YES!
Pointed a gun at someone? - Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? - Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? - Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? - Yes
Kissed in the rain? - Yes
Had a close brush with death (your own)? - YES
Seen someone die? - No
Played spin-the-bottle? - Yes
Sang in the shower? - Yes
Smoked a cigar? - No?
Sat on a rooftop? - Yes
Taken pictures of yourself naked? - Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? - No
Skipped school? - Yes
Eaten a bug? - Yes
Sleepwalked? - No
Walked a moonlit beach? - Yes
Ridden a motorcycle? - No
Forgotten your anniversary? - No
Lied to avoid a ticket? - No
Ridden on a helicopter? - No
Shaved your head? - No
Blacked out from drinking? - Yes
Played a prank on someone? - Yes
Hit a home run? - No
Felt like killing someone? - YES
Cross-dressed? - Yes
Been falling-down drunk? - Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? - Yes
Eaten snake? - No
Marched/Protested? - Yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? - No
Puked on an amusement ride? - No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? - Yes
Been in a band? - Yes?
Knitted? - No
Been on TV? - Yes
Shot a gun? - Yes
Skinny-dipped? - No
Caused someone to need stitches? - Yes
Ridden a surfboard? - No
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? - Yes
Had surgery? - Yes
Taken by ambulance to hospital? - Yes
Passed out when not drinking? - Yes?
Peed on a bush? - No
Donated Blood? - NO
Grabbed electric fence? - Yes
Eaten alligator meat? - No
Eaten cheesecake? - Yes
Eaten kids' Halloween candy? - Yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? - Yes
Peed your pants in public? - No
Written graffiti? - Yes
Still love someone you shouldn't? - Yes
Think about the future? - Yes
Been in handcuffs? - Yes
Believe in love? - Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? - Yes
Been to a furry convention? - Yes
Own a fursuit? - No?
Bungee-Jumped? - No
Stolen something? - Yes
Kissed someone, same gender? - Yes
Kissed someone, different gender? - Yes
Had sex in public? - Yes
Skipped a night? - No?
Lied? - Yes
Created a Meme? - No
Been to another continent? - Yes
Been in a country without knowing the language? - Yes
Have seen a parent naked? - Yes
Any questions feel free to ask.
Another Rant about Money, sorry... Venting...
Posted 13 years agoSo we're flat broke. Or we will be after we pay rent tomorrow. IF we CAN pay rent tomorrow. Idk how much the money order fees are, but with all the change around the house I managed to scrape up and every cent in both our bank accounts, we MIGHT -might be able to afford that much. But then we'll be left with absolutely nothing save hopefully a few pennies. The commissions that are or are supposed to be paid on tonight /should/ be enough to pay my bills through 28th and my husband's until his next paycheck. I hope. But after that we're once again screwed. Royally. After that my credit card will be maxed out again, both our debit cards will be at zero, and we won't even have spare change to our names...
We're both quite upset and frankly, I'm a little pissed off. Why is insurance so goddamn expensive that you can't use it after you paid for it?! Kitty worked hard full time for two weeks and his paycheck after insurance and tax was $629. FOR TWO WEEKS! That's absurd. Health insurance for 3 people should not cost three, almost four, times what my car insurance does. Even if we wanted to go to the doctor, we couldn't afford the damn copay. We've all been sick lately, including the dog. Can't do jack or shit about it. Just had to work through it and drink what DayQuil we had left.
It also irks me that I have a Bachelor's Degree, am disabled, and am working for $1 an hour drawing random fetish art. Sure, I love drawing it, but I'm making less than a freaking Chinese factory worker! I don't get disability, we don't have food stamps, we don't get government housing. All we get from the government is WIC and that expires next month. Even with that, it doesn't cover Eevee's formula, so it's practically useless. Speaking of which, she's almost out and there's no way we're going to be able to afford more in time. Shit's expensive.
Thankfully we have awesome friends, and I'm sure they won't let us (or her) starve, but this crap has gotta stop. Why the hell do we pay these people rent? Our dryer hose was broken for almost THREE weeks because they couldn't get some lazy-ass worker to come fix it. When he showed up it took him like five minutes to cut off the broken part and shove the other half back where it went. Didn't even replace the damn thing or put hose clamps on it (which is why it fell off and got torn up in the first place)! The wall of the laundry room is still water-stained on one side, falling apart - literally crumbling into chunks - at the bottom of two sides, and the remaining side is unpainted from where they ripped half the wall out to get rid of the mold to keep from being sued. There's still a drawer in the kitchen with the front half-way hanging off (it was like that when we moved in) and both bathroom sinks have chips in the cheap-ass paint that are missing exposing the metal sink underneath and letting them rust out. There's still a freaking hole in the paint as big as my hand right by the door. Everything here is piss-poorly made and they refuse to do anything about it except keep repeating their empty promises to fix it. We've been here over five months now. They haven't fixed any of it.
-huffs-
To top it off, after inviting about 30 people over tonight to celebrate with me on completing the NaNoWriMo challenge in 9 days and finishing my first novel, no one has shown up. One person is coming. One might be here at like 11. Really? Thanks for the support guys. I could have really freaking used it right now. ;.=.;
-sobs-
*/end rant*
-apologies-
We're both quite upset and frankly, I'm a little pissed off. Why is insurance so goddamn expensive that you can't use it after you paid for it?! Kitty worked hard full time for two weeks and his paycheck after insurance and tax was $629. FOR TWO WEEKS! That's absurd. Health insurance for 3 people should not cost three, almost four, times what my car insurance does. Even if we wanted to go to the doctor, we couldn't afford the damn copay. We've all been sick lately, including the dog. Can't do jack or shit about it. Just had to work through it and drink what DayQuil we had left.
It also irks me that I have a Bachelor's Degree, am disabled, and am working for $1 an hour drawing random fetish art. Sure, I love drawing it, but I'm making less than a freaking Chinese factory worker! I don't get disability, we don't have food stamps, we don't get government housing. All we get from the government is WIC and that expires next month. Even with that, it doesn't cover Eevee's formula, so it's practically useless. Speaking of which, she's almost out and there's no way we're going to be able to afford more in time. Shit's expensive.
Thankfully we have awesome friends, and I'm sure they won't let us (or her) starve, but this crap has gotta stop. Why the hell do we pay these people rent? Our dryer hose was broken for almost THREE weeks because they couldn't get some lazy-ass worker to come fix it. When he showed up it took him like five minutes to cut off the broken part and shove the other half back where it went. Didn't even replace the damn thing or put hose clamps on it (which is why it fell off and got torn up in the first place)! The wall of the laundry room is still water-stained on one side, falling apart - literally crumbling into chunks - at the bottom of two sides, and the remaining side is unpainted from where they ripped half the wall out to get rid of the mold to keep from being sued. There's still a drawer in the kitchen with the front half-way hanging off (it was like that when we moved in) and both bathroom sinks have chips in the cheap-ass paint that are missing exposing the metal sink underneath and letting them rust out. There's still a freaking hole in the paint as big as my hand right by the door. Everything here is piss-poorly made and they refuse to do anything about it except keep repeating their empty promises to fix it. We've been here over five months now. They haven't fixed any of it.
-huffs-
To top it off, after inviting about 30 people over tonight to celebrate with me on completing the NaNoWriMo challenge in 9 days and finishing my first novel, no one has shown up. One person is coming. One might be here at like 11. Really? Thanks for the support guys. I could have really freaking used it right now. ;.=.;
-sobs-
*/end rant*
-apologies-
I won! You can win too!
Posted 13 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/9363117/
Yep. I won! =D I beat the 50,000 word novel in a month challenge - NaNoWriMo - in NINE days! I feel like a writing goddess. >X3 I feel... Like I won a marathon. A writing marathon. Because I did. ;3
Anyway, bragging aside, the intro to my new novel is available at the link above. However, if you want to read the full story, you'll have to purchase it. If you just want to read the rest of the story, I'll be sending out digital copies of the rtf file until the end of the year. I will also be taking orders for paperback copies. These won't be printed until the first of the year and will only be printed if I can get at least 10 copies ordered. If there are ten to 49 copies ordered, the books will be $20. If more than 50 are ordered, they'll be $15, and if by some miracle we can hit 100 copies sold, they'll only be $10! Check it out. An awesome dragon novel that's over 50,000 words long with an awesome cover shipped to your door for just $10. Sounds good, right? Then get me to 100 copies. ;3 I'm hardly keeping anything off the printed versions - the cost is the rounded up cost of printing and shipping. So buy my novel... and I'll write more of them. ^.=.^
Novel for sale!
Digital (rtf) copy - $5
Paperback - $20 (currently)
Yep. I won! =D I beat the 50,000 word novel in a month challenge - NaNoWriMo - in NINE days! I feel like a writing goddess. >X3 I feel... Like I won a marathon. A writing marathon. Because I did. ;3
Anyway, bragging aside, the intro to my new novel is available at the link above. However, if you want to read the full story, you'll have to purchase it. If you just want to read the rest of the story, I'll be sending out digital copies of the rtf file until the end of the year. I will also be taking orders for paperback copies. These won't be printed until the first of the year and will only be printed if I can get at least 10 copies ordered. If there are ten to 49 copies ordered, the books will be $20. If more than 50 are ordered, they'll be $15, and if by some miracle we can hit 100 copies sold, they'll only be $10! Check it out. An awesome dragon novel that's over 50,000 words long with an awesome cover shipped to your door for just $10. Sounds good, right? Then get me to 100 copies. ;3 I'm hardly keeping anything off the printed versions - the cost is the rounded up cost of printing and shipping. So buy my novel... and I'll write more of them. ^.=.^
Novel for sale!
Digital (rtf) copy - $5
Paperback - $20 (currently)
I Have Internet! =D
Posted 13 years agoI finally have internet again! Yay! Reliable internet that I don't have to go stand out in the cold to use. Unfortunately, it's an air card with limited data before it starts slowing down to a halt. I still can't do streaming or watch videos or movies. But at least I can get messages faster now and use my IM's again. ^.=.^
Now I just have to ensure that I make at least $35-worth of commissions a month to pay for it. >.=.>; So send me your commissions. I'll be happy to take as many as I can get.
Also, go NaNoWriMo. I'm at 19,730 words already. =3 I only need to write 3700 words a day to finish. Easy-peasy. >X3 At least assuming I don't run out of story. In which case, I'll have to go back through it and add in more scenes. ^.=.^;;
Now I just have to ensure that I make at least $35-worth of commissions a month to pay for it. >.=.>; So send me your commissions. I'll be happy to take as many as I can get.
Also, go NaNoWriMo. I'm at 19,730 words already. =3 I only need to write 3700 words a day to finish. Easy-peasy. >X3 At least assuming I don't run out of story. In which case, I'll have to go back through it and add in more scenes. ^.=.^;;
NaNoWriMo
Posted 13 years agoSo I decided at the last minute to join NaNoWriMo. Encourage me guys. I can do this. 50k words in 10 days? I got this. >.=.< Except my WordPad does not give me a word count. D= I might have to dig out my old laptop for this one. >.=.> It can't go online though, which causes a problem. X.=.x Anyways, wish me luck. I'll post -most- of the finished product. ;3
In other news, the dog was sick, then my husband was sick, now I'm sick. X.=.x Ah, winter is coming. -sneezes- Ew...
I've been busy, busy, busy. I'm still working on the commission of myself fighting a larger dragon, which is actually related to the story I'm writing. >.=.>; I'm learning lots of new techniques from an art book I got, so don't abandon me while I drop off submitting. It will be worth the wait, I promise. D= I've learned all sorts of fun new things about PhotoShop and lighting that should make my future art look much better. ^.=.^ Give it time. I'll be back and it will be EPIC! D:< lol
In other news, the dog was sick, then my husband was sick, now I'm sick. X.=.x Ah, winter is coming. -sneezes- Ew...
I've been busy, busy, busy. I'm still working on the commission of myself fighting a larger dragon, which is actually related to the story I'm writing. >.=.>; I'm learning lots of new techniques from an art book I got, so don't abandon me while I drop off submitting. It will be worth the wait, I promise. D= I've learned all sorts of fun new things about PhotoShop and lighting that should make my future art look much better. ^.=.^ Give it time. I'll be back and it will be EPIC! D:< lol
Sale: Free Chibis with Full Colors; also, rant.
Posted 13 years agoAlright stalkers, listen up. >.=.> My husband did a dumb and got a traffic ticket. We have NO money at all to spare (still need to go apply for foodstamps - we have no food money, and I'm living off Ramen).
So...
I've been doing commissions to make up the amount. So far between Oklacon and what I've gotten, I've gotten enough money together to cover my personal bills through December 31st and an extra $110. His ticket was $173. That means I need another $63 to pay off the ticket. Of course, that's the tip of the iceburg, but it's a necessity. Once that's taken care of, I can start saving up to pay off my $3000 of debt I'm already in (from my one credit card and student loan). Once that's paid off, then my commissions can go toward things like better food, Christmas gifts, and getting to more cons and such. X.=.x It's a far-off goal, but if I have commissions to keep me busy all the time, I could draw that much in 3 months easy. >.=.> I'm at home all day guys, seriously. I can do it. o.=.o!
Now...
*rant*
On a related but different note, I've had several people ask me why I rely on my commissions to pay for my bills. I've been reminded more than once that I'm not /that/ good that I should use it as a full-time job. To this I say, I am disabled. Art is all I'm terribly good at and can do for long periods of time. "But Shayla, I've seen you. You don't look disabled. What's wrong with you?" they say. Well, I'm not disabled. "Wait, what? You just said you were." It's complicated. X.=.x
Short answer: I'm disabled.
Long answer: I'm not disabled.
Explanation: I /should/ be disabled. However, I don't qualify. I have over 100 health problems, but none of them individually are that bad. It's the stacking of them that makes my life miserable and most jobs beyond what I can handle. There is no applying for disability under the title "I'm f***ed up." You have to have a specific health problem that hurts/disables you to more than a certain degree. I understand this logic, but I also think there should be allowances for those of us unlucky enough to have a lot of problems at once.
"But Shayla, you still haven't told us what's wrong with you. I don't know if I believe you. You're just taking your problems out of proportion." Let me start listing, and then decide if you really think I can hold the average job.
Health Problems (in no particular order):
PTSD - If you don't know what it is, look it up. Usually only seen in war vets and rape victims. My triggers are common things like policemen, large amounts of blood, needles, people yelling, guns, etc.
Anxiety - I have panic attacks in crowds, around strangers, or when most people yell at me or in most other high-stress situations. I ball up on the floor and cease to function.
Depression
Deafness - I am a little less than 1/4 deaf. I cannot hear low tones on my right side.
Poor vision - I need glasses, but I can't afford new ones. I have an astigmatism and really shouldn't be driving since I can't read the signs until I'm right by them. >.=.o;
Poor joints - I've injured nearly every joint below my hips, including damaging my left ankle so badly I needed physical therapy and breaking my big toe so badly the bone healed as a little cloud of bone dust (I saw it on an X-ray) with the nerve inside it, which hurts sometimes, especially when the weather changes. The damage I've done to my joints makes it hard for me to walk sometimes as well as making me unable to stand without pain for more than a few minutes at a time.
Spine - I have a hole in my spine from a poorly done spinal tap when I was 7. It hurts at random, sometimes just being still, more so when moving, and mostly when I try to lift any large amount.
Immune system - Mine is poop because - oh yeah - I had leukemia when I was 7...
Asthma
Allergy to Sulfates, including several antibiotics, raw onions, eggs, and diet anything.
Allergies (seasonal) - mold, dust, grass, certain smokes, etc.
Bone spurs - I have bone spurs in my feet and ankles, including one that stabs my Achilles tendon, one under the muscle connecting my ankle to my big toe, and one on the side of my ankle. All of them hurt randomly when I walk.
...
The above is not /nearly/ a comprehensive list. That's just some of the more severe ones that came to mind. I have plenty more problems and horror stories to go with them. But the above alone is more than enough reason in my mind why I should be allowed disability and why I don't feel capable of holding a job other than staying home doing my artwork. That said, I need to do more of it.
*/rant* >.=.<
I need commissions. As a bribe to get more, I'm offering free chibi drawings of characters done in full color (traditional or digital) to be handed out with your sketch.
Please note that all full-color images come with a free sketch version for your approval before the sketch is inked or lined and colored. To claim your free chibi, be sure to post here or mention it in your PM asking for a commission. Thank you. =3
So...
I've been doing commissions to make up the amount. So far between Oklacon and what I've gotten, I've gotten enough money together to cover my personal bills through December 31st and an extra $110. His ticket was $173. That means I need another $63 to pay off the ticket. Of course, that's the tip of the iceburg, but it's a necessity. Once that's taken care of, I can start saving up to pay off my $3000 of debt I'm already in (from my one credit card and student loan). Once that's paid off, then my commissions can go toward things like better food, Christmas gifts, and getting to more cons and such. X.=.x It's a far-off goal, but if I have commissions to keep me busy all the time, I could draw that much in 3 months easy. >.=.> I'm at home all day guys, seriously. I can do it. o.=.o!
Now...
*rant*
On a related but different note, I've had several people ask me why I rely on my commissions to pay for my bills. I've been reminded more than once that I'm not /that/ good that I should use it as a full-time job. To this I say, I am disabled. Art is all I'm terribly good at and can do for long periods of time. "But Shayla, I've seen you. You don't look disabled. What's wrong with you?" they say. Well, I'm not disabled. "Wait, what? You just said you were." It's complicated. X.=.x
Short answer: I'm disabled.
Long answer: I'm not disabled.
Explanation: I /should/ be disabled. However, I don't qualify. I have over 100 health problems, but none of them individually are that bad. It's the stacking of them that makes my life miserable and most jobs beyond what I can handle. There is no applying for disability under the title "I'm f***ed up." You have to have a specific health problem that hurts/disables you to more than a certain degree. I understand this logic, but I also think there should be allowances for those of us unlucky enough to have a lot of problems at once.
"But Shayla, you still haven't told us what's wrong with you. I don't know if I believe you. You're just taking your problems out of proportion." Let me start listing, and then decide if you really think I can hold the average job.
Health Problems (in no particular order):
PTSD - If you don't know what it is, look it up. Usually only seen in war vets and rape victims. My triggers are common things like policemen, large amounts of blood, needles, people yelling, guns, etc.
Anxiety - I have panic attacks in crowds, around strangers, or when most people yell at me or in most other high-stress situations. I ball up on the floor and cease to function.
Depression
Deafness - I am a little less than 1/4 deaf. I cannot hear low tones on my right side.
Poor vision - I need glasses, but I can't afford new ones. I have an astigmatism and really shouldn't be driving since I can't read the signs until I'm right by them. >.=.o;
Poor joints - I've injured nearly every joint below my hips, including damaging my left ankle so badly I needed physical therapy and breaking my big toe so badly the bone healed as a little cloud of bone dust (I saw it on an X-ray) with the nerve inside it, which hurts sometimes, especially when the weather changes. The damage I've done to my joints makes it hard for me to walk sometimes as well as making me unable to stand without pain for more than a few minutes at a time.
Spine - I have a hole in my spine from a poorly done spinal tap when I was 7. It hurts at random, sometimes just being still, more so when moving, and mostly when I try to lift any large amount.
Immune system - Mine is poop because - oh yeah - I had leukemia when I was 7...
Asthma
Allergy to Sulfates, including several antibiotics, raw onions, eggs, and diet anything.
Allergies (seasonal) - mold, dust, grass, certain smokes, etc.
Bone spurs - I have bone spurs in my feet and ankles, including one that stabs my Achilles tendon, one under the muscle connecting my ankle to my big toe, and one on the side of my ankle. All of them hurt randomly when I walk.
...
The above is not /nearly/ a comprehensive list. That's just some of the more severe ones that came to mind. I have plenty more problems and horror stories to go with them. But the above alone is more than enough reason in my mind why I should be allowed disability and why I don't feel capable of holding a job other than staying home doing my artwork. That said, I need to do more of it.
*/rant* >.=.<
I need commissions. As a bribe to get more, I'm offering free chibi drawings of characters done in full color (traditional or digital) to be handed out with your sketch.
Please note that all full-color images come with a free sketch version for your approval before the sketch is inked or lined and colored. To claim your free chibi, be sure to post here or mention it in your PM asking for a commission. Thank you. =3
I need commissions. Will be done this week.
Posted 13 years agoI signed up for the Dealer's Den at Oklacon because it said it was $25, but after I signed up it said it was $75! X.=.x Now I've got everything ready and can't afford the space. >.=.< So here we go again - I need more commissions! I will do my best to draw absolutely anything to the best of my abilities, and I'm quite sure I can get at least $100-worth of commissions done before the end of the week.
Related to the above, I got chewed out on the forums for my prices being too low, so I'm raising SOME (-not all-) of them a bit. Comics take me forever, so I'm bumping them another $5 ($30 for traditional, $35 for digital - or if you want, I just won't color them and you can still get them for $25 traditional/$30 digital). Also, sketches will be $10, and traditional ink will be the same as digital lineart at $15. I'm also adding a stipulation that detailed backgrounds are an additional $5 on any level of art and raising the price of additional characters to $5 each regardless of how many there are. >.=.>
I'll update my page and examples journal to reflect these ASAP.
In summary, I need money which means I need commissions. They will be done very quickly but still done well. Buy some. >.=.>
Related to the above, I got chewed out on the forums for my prices being too low, so I'm raising SOME (-not all-) of them a bit. Comics take me forever, so I'm bumping them another $5 ($30 for traditional, $35 for digital - or if you want, I just won't color them and you can still get them for $25 traditional/$30 digital). Also, sketches will be $10, and traditional ink will be the same as digital lineart at $15. I'm also adding a stipulation that detailed backgrounds are an additional $5 on any level of art and raising the price of additional characters to $5 each regardless of how many there are. >.=.>
I'll update my page and examples journal to reflect these ASAP.
In summary, I need money which means I need commissions. They will be done very quickly but still done well. Buy some. >.=.>
Commissions! No wait!
Posted 13 years agoAt least for the moment. I'm waiting on a reply from several people about what they want, but in the meantime I have nothing to do. So someone commission me. >.=.> I need to raise as much money as possible, and I'll even tell you why.
Things I need money for:
Fixing my car's window - $200
Oklacon (where I make several hundred in badges) - $130 (admission/gas), preferably $650 by Oct 1st so we could get the lifetime membership, but that's unrealistic
Paying off my credit card (we used it to help pay for moving) - ~$1500
Paying off my student loan - ~$1800
The last two cost me $30 and $50 respectively in mostly interest a month until I can pay them off. Once they are gone, I will have no bills and can actually use my commission money to buy things for myself... like being able to go out to eat more than once a month. >.=.>
Anyway, enough ranting. Feed me commissions. D:< lol
Things I need money for:
Fixing my car's window - $200
Oklacon (where I make several hundred in badges) - $130 (admission/gas), preferably $650 by Oct 1st so we could get the lifetime membership, but that's unrealistic
Paying off my credit card (we used it to help pay for moving) - ~$1500
Paying off my student loan - ~$1800
The last two cost me $30 and $50 respectively in mostly interest a month until I can pay them off. Once they are gone, I will have no bills and can actually use my commission money to buy things for myself... like being able to go out to eat more than once a month. >.=.>
Anyway, enough ranting. Feed me commissions. D:< lol
Update
Posted 13 years agoWe've moved, and I am still doing art, but you won't see too many submissions for a while. I'm "borrowing" internet from some neighbor of mine who didn't secure their wireless signal. It drops every few minutes. I finally have a scanner and I have some people interested in commissions, but I will not add them to the wait list on my homepage until they have paid (that is how I determine the order of my commissions). I have finally finished the Spyro comic. Half of it was posted without shading, but now it has been updated. I have two more comics in the works, but it will take a while to get them sketched, approved, and finished. In the meantime, I have some adoptables posted. The version posted doesn't have shading, but I've shaded most of them. No one has showed any interest in them yet. Maybe if I update it with shading? Comments?
I need to sell more art. We can't afford internet or very much food. Hoping to get to the food stamps office in the next week or so. Also hoping our roommate finds a job soon. Then things should be better. In the meantime, does anyone have ideas on how to sell more art? I need to make a visual commission price guide, I know. Anything else? Thinking about doing more examples. It's a personal goal of mine to eventually have art posted under each theme listed. >.=.> So if you want something that I don't already have up, I might give you a discount so I can get the experience and example. ^.=.^ Of course there is always trying to get better at art, but other than that, I'm not sure what to do or where to go to get myself out there more and get more commissions. >.=.< Ideas? Questions? Comments? I need some feedback here. >.=.>;
On an aside, I probably won't get to go to Oklacon for the first time since I started going. We don't have the money and can't afford the time off. X.=.x
I need to sell more art. We can't afford internet or very much food. Hoping to get to the food stamps office in the next week or so. Also hoping our roommate finds a job soon. Then things should be better. In the meantime, does anyone have ideas on how to sell more art? I need to make a visual commission price guide, I know. Anything else? Thinking about doing more examples. It's a personal goal of mine to eventually have art posted under each theme listed. >.=.> So if you want something that I don't already have up, I might give you a discount so I can get the experience and example. ^.=.^ Of course there is always trying to get better at art, but other than that, I'm not sure what to do or where to go to get myself out there more and get more commissions. >.=.< Ideas? Questions? Comments? I need some feedback here. >.=.>;
On an aside, I probably won't get to go to Oklacon for the first time since I started going. We don't have the money and can't afford the time off. X.=.x
Help?
Posted 13 years agoSo we just found out after we paid for our new apartment through September that they haven't approved us to move in. Apparently, we still owe money to the last apartment we moved out of, so we can't move until we either pay that off or pay ANOTHER month of rent up front. But paying for all the other moving costs has wiped both our bank accounts. We need help, and we need it this week. We've got to raise $700 this week or we'll have to wait until the first to move. Now, I can do $700-worth of art if I really push myself, but I need people to commission art to do that. So this is my asking for help, which I really hate doing. Anyone who knows me, knows I absolutely hate asking for help doing anything, especially for money. So I'm not asking for donations, I just need more commissions. I have no money at all right now and my credit card is practically maxed out. Please help!
You may be wondering, "Shayla, why don't you just wait until the first to move when you can afford it?"
Let me explain why we are moving out of my father's house.
1. My father is driving us all insane. He has mental problems he won't accept and has not gotten help for. He tells me all the time how he should just kill himself so I'll be happy, how I'm a horrible person and going to hell for the art I draw, calls me and my husband fat all the time (even though he's bigger than either of us), etc. The last straw was he when he said my birth father (whom I haven't seen since he disappeared when I was 13) was wrong about me (in saying before he disappeared that I was "an angel"), that I was a horrible person, and that my mother (who died 4 years ago) would be ashamed of me.
2. This house is a nightmare and I can't stand having my child here. There are mice, flies, ants, and beetles EVERYWHERE. We can't leave any food out that is no longer sealed. We can't even leave it in the cabinets. We have to hide everything that has been opened in the fridge or freezer or it will be full of bugs in minutes. The house is not level and cracking, every faucet leaks, the shower is broken, and one of the garage doors is unusable. The yard is missing grass in half of it and is infested with whip worms, so our dogs can't go outside. We have to leash walk them three times a day (the apartment we are moving to has a dog park). Dad's previous dogs have peed on the rug so much that it is permanently stained brown (was gray). There are mouse droppings everywhere (can't leave paper out either or it will be destroyed), and I have a baby who is about to turn 6 months old. I'm afraid to let her crawl around the house.
3. Dad can't afford to pay his bills if we leave and has been making us pay them for him. We moved here because it was cheaper than the apartment we left. Or it would have been if Dad hadn't gone back on what he said. He said we could live here for free because he was leaving and wanted us to take care of his house and his NINE pets. Well, there were 12 at the time. We got rid of a few. Now there are nine including our two dogs. Dad spent his money unwisely and now he can't afford his bills this month. If we stay until the first, he'll expect us to pay them with the money we don't have.
4. This place is a good 30 minute drive from where my husband works. The apartment is a 30 minute WALK from his office. It's two miles away. I will have an extra two hours a day with my husband. He'll actually get to see me and our daughter sometime other than the weekend or when we eat dinner and go to bed.
5. Our soon-to-be roommate needs to move ASAP. He is graduating Friday and wants to move out of his parents' house right afterwards. He needs to get away from his parents and to a stable place. His mom does drugs and his step-dad is abusive at best. They want to force his very-gay self to have sex with a woman because they think it will magically make him "straight." That house is likewise full of roaches, spiders, and mice. He gets spider bites on a daily basis and is afraid to eat there. He's in a bad place too.
So with all that explanation said, PLEASE help us out? We really need money, and I'm happy to do $700 of art. It's not a donation, it's a plea for more commissions. I want to work for my money, but I need the money now and a lot of it. X.=.x
Waitlist on my homepage.
Amount raised:
$680/$700
Thank you so very, very much
Tonza! I'll be drawing you for months. ^.=.^;
Thanks to
Kaoru_Kagomura for the icon commish.
Thank you to Von Redwing (
BadWing) for doing art for me to raise money and keep me from being so swamped! You rock!
Thanks to
Cornel for the commission
You may be wondering, "Shayla, why don't you just wait until the first to move when you can afford it?"
Let me explain why we are moving out of my father's house.
1. My father is driving us all insane. He has mental problems he won't accept and has not gotten help for. He tells me all the time how he should just kill himself so I'll be happy, how I'm a horrible person and going to hell for the art I draw, calls me and my husband fat all the time (even though he's bigger than either of us), etc. The last straw was he when he said my birth father (whom I haven't seen since he disappeared when I was 13) was wrong about me (in saying before he disappeared that I was "an angel"), that I was a horrible person, and that my mother (who died 4 years ago) would be ashamed of me.
2. This house is a nightmare and I can't stand having my child here. There are mice, flies, ants, and beetles EVERYWHERE. We can't leave any food out that is no longer sealed. We can't even leave it in the cabinets. We have to hide everything that has been opened in the fridge or freezer or it will be full of bugs in minutes. The house is not level and cracking, every faucet leaks, the shower is broken, and one of the garage doors is unusable. The yard is missing grass in half of it and is infested with whip worms, so our dogs can't go outside. We have to leash walk them three times a day (the apartment we are moving to has a dog park). Dad's previous dogs have peed on the rug so much that it is permanently stained brown (was gray). There are mouse droppings everywhere (can't leave paper out either or it will be destroyed), and I have a baby who is about to turn 6 months old. I'm afraid to let her crawl around the house.
3. Dad can't afford to pay his bills if we leave and has been making us pay them for him. We moved here because it was cheaper than the apartment we left. Or it would have been if Dad hadn't gone back on what he said. He said we could live here for free because he was leaving and wanted us to take care of his house and his NINE pets. Well, there were 12 at the time. We got rid of a few. Now there are nine including our two dogs. Dad spent his money unwisely and now he can't afford his bills this month. If we stay until the first, he'll expect us to pay them with the money we don't have.
4. This place is a good 30 minute drive from where my husband works. The apartment is a 30 minute WALK from his office. It's two miles away. I will have an extra two hours a day with my husband. He'll actually get to see me and our daughter sometime other than the weekend or when we eat dinner and go to bed.
5. Our soon-to-be roommate needs to move ASAP. He is graduating Friday and wants to move out of his parents' house right afterwards. He needs to get away from his parents and to a stable place. His mom does drugs and his step-dad is abusive at best. They want to force his very-gay self to have sex with a woman because they think it will magically make him "straight." That house is likewise full of roaches, spiders, and mice. He gets spider bites on a daily basis and is afraid to eat there. He's in a bad place too.
So with all that explanation said, PLEASE help us out? We really need money, and I'm happy to do $700 of art. It's not a donation, it's a plea for more commissions. I want to work for my money, but I need the money now and a lot of it. X.=.x
Waitlist on my homepage.
Amount raised:
$680/$700
Thank you so very, very much
Tonza! I'll be drawing you for months. ^.=.^;Thanks to
Kaoru_Kagomura for the icon commish.Thank you to Von Redwing (
BadWing) for doing art for me to raise money and keep me from being so swamped! You rock!Thanks to
Cornel for the commissionArt Sale! Free Upgrades!
Posted 13 years agoThat's right. I need money and lots of it so we can afford our pet deposit and move to a better place! This is where you come in! For a limited time, you can buy a lineart from me and get the art in full traditional color - meaning for a limited time, you can pay just $10 and get a $20 image! Likewise, if you buy a full color traditional piece, I will not only draw it traditionally - I will redraw it digitally! (Please note I'm changing my policy on digital art. Since it takes me so much longer, I'm going to charging extra for it now. Sorry guys. Time is money, and digital art goes slow.)
What do you have to do to win this free upgrade? It's simple. I need more commissions, so I need more advertising. All you have to do is reply to this journal with a link to your own journal advertising this sale. That's it. Free upgrade to your art commissions!
Going to shoot for raising $500, so approximately the next 50 images will get this upgrade (possibly more because I don't know how much of a response I'll get to this or how much we need for a deposit exactly yet).
Thank you everyone!
Current commission list:
1.
evilscotsmanera1991 - paid, 20% done
2.
mulleto - paid $50 for June/July - forever writing; Art done
3. -hidden- but done
4. You could be here!
Amount raised: $133/$500
What do you have to do to win this free upgrade? It's simple. I need more commissions, so I need more advertising. All you have to do is reply to this journal with a link to your own journal advertising this sale. That's it. Free upgrade to your art commissions!
Going to shoot for raising $500, so approximately the next 50 images will get this upgrade (possibly more because I don't know how much of a response I'll get to this or how much we need for a deposit exactly yet).
Thank you everyone!
Current commission list:
1.
evilscotsmanera1991 - paid, 20% done2.
mulleto - paid $50 for June/July - forever writing; Art done3. -hidden- but done
4. You could be here!
Amount raised: $133/$500
Traditional Reference Sheet Sale
Posted 13 years agoThat's right. I need money and more practice drawing these. So, reference sheets are now on sale for $25 when you buy one drawn traditionally.
As far as I know, you can't post pictures directly to a journal, so for an example of such a reference sheet:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8092369/
I currently have no wait list, and I usually don't. Most art is finished within 24 hours of being commissioned, so I rarely ever have a "back log" or "waiting list" of commissions. If I have a "wait list" of more than two people, there will be a list of how many are in line on my user page. If you don't see such a list or the list is blank, then I have no wait list. Unless you are requesting digital art or something large, your art will be done in 24 hours.
Please commission me! And not just for ref sheets. I draw absolutely anything. If it can't be posted to FA, I also have an inkbunny account with the same name or I can email images to their owners directly.
Also, please note that the sale is for digitally sending a traditional reference sheet. It's hard for me to get to the post office (being a stay-at-home mom) and we don't have mailboxes here that the postman can take mail out of (they're against a city ordinance here or something...), so if you want the original sheet mailed to you, add another $5 for shipping costs.
As far as I know, you can't post pictures directly to a journal, so for an example of such a reference sheet:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8092369/
I currently have no wait list, and I usually don't. Most art is finished within 24 hours of being commissioned, so I rarely ever have a "back log" or "waiting list" of commissions. If I have a "wait list" of more than two people, there will be a list of how many are in line on my user page. If you don't see such a list or the list is blank, then I have no wait list. Unless you are requesting digital art or something large, your art will be done in 24 hours.
Please commission me! And not just for ref sheets. I draw absolutely anything. If it can't be posted to FA, I also have an inkbunny account with the same name or I can email images to their owners directly.
Also, please note that the sale is for digitally sending a traditional reference sheet. It's hard for me to get to the post office (being a stay-at-home mom) and we don't have mailboxes here that the postman can take mail out of (they're against a city ordinance here or something...), so if you want the original sheet mailed to you, add another $5 for shipping costs.
Commissions Price Guide with examples
Posted 13 years agoTraditional commissions are OPEN! I draw anything! Wait list on my user page. No fees for adult/fetish artwork of any kind!
General price guide with examples:
$10
Icon: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8073264/
-(+50 cents per additional icon frame past 10)
Small Badge: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6342092/
Chibi Badges: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6372603/
$15
Traditional badge (around 4"x5"): http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6342243/
Pencil sketch: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1974735/
Sketch (adult): http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6077539/
- (+$2 for each additional person or detailed background or detailed markings)
$20
Full page traditional inking: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6341751/
- (+$5 for each additional person or detailed background or detailed markings)
- (+$2 for pencil shading such as in the example)
$30
Full body full-color traditional piece (with optional basic background/props)
-(+$10 for each additional person or detailed background or detailed markings)
Clean: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6307544/
Adult: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7937700/
$40
Traditional reference sheet: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8092369/
For all stories, prices will be discussed based on length and complexity, averaging $5 per page.
(You don't get an example story because I haven't posted any. >.=.> If you want a short example, I can note you one.)
The originals of any traditional artwork will be kept by me as examples for my convention example books and will be for in-person sale unless you specify that you want them. If you would like your original mailed to you, please let me know when you commission it. There is a $5 shipping and handling fee for any works mailed to you (US ONLY), but this includes all works. If you buy several pieces and I mail them at once, the fee is still only $5.
If you don't see what you want listed above, ask me and I'll quote you a price. I love custom ideas!
General price guide with examples:
$10
Icon: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8073264/
-(+50 cents per additional icon frame past 10)
Small Badge: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6342092/
Chibi Badges: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6372603/
$15
Traditional badge (around 4"x5"): http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6342243/
Pencil sketch: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1974735/
Sketch (adult): http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6077539/
- (+$2 for each additional person or detailed background or detailed markings)
$20
Full page traditional inking: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6341751/
- (+$5 for each additional person or detailed background or detailed markings)
- (+$2 for pencil shading such as in the example)
$30
Full body full-color traditional piece (with optional basic background/props)
-(+$10 for each additional person or detailed background or detailed markings)
Clean: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6307544/
Adult: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7937700/
$40
Traditional reference sheet: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8092369/
For all stories, prices will be discussed based on length and complexity, averaging $5 per page.
(You don't get an example story because I haven't posted any. >.=.> If you want a short example, I can note you one.)
The originals of any traditional artwork will be kept by me as examples for my convention example books and will be for in-person sale unless you specify that you want them. If you would like your original mailed to you, please let me know when you commission it. There is a $5 shipping and handling fee for any works mailed to you (US ONLY), but this includes all works. If you buy several pieces and I mail them at once, the fee is still only $5.
If you don't see what you want listed above, ask me and I'll quote you a price. I love custom ideas!
Masculinity Meme
Posted 13 years agoTaken from 
Yaxerins.
01) [x] You own tools that you use regularly
02) [] You carry a wallet
03) [x] You prefer movies or shows where there is more action than romance
04) [] You spit on the ground when not in a building.
05) [x] You scratch where it itches when it itches
06) [x] Your idea of good footwear is boots or tough tennis.
07) [x] Your wardrobe only changes if you gain weight or the clothes fall apart.
08) [x] You don't count calories when eating.
09) [x] You have deodorant strong enough to make you socially acceptable, but not strong enough to make you smell like it.
10) [x] You tend to wipe your hands on your clothes instead of a napkin.
Total So Far: 8
Do you love:
11) [x] Video games
12) [x] Working on mechanical items.
13) [x] Building things.
14) [x] Working out on gym machines
15) [x] Getting in and out of stores as quickly as possible
16) [] Football
17) [x] Baseball
18) [] Wrestling
19) [x] Boxing/ MMA
20) [x] Hunting and/or fishing
Total So Far: 16
Do you shop at:
21) [x] Home Depot
22) [x] Lowe's
23) [] Big and Tall men's stores
24) [] Hunting and Fishing supply shops
25) [] Auto supply stores or other mechanic shops
26) [x] Hobby shops
27) [x] Comic book stores
28) [x] Sports supply stores
29) [x] Video game stores
30) [x] Electronic supply stores
Total So Far: 23
Do you say:
31) [x] Son
32) [x] I can fix it. (Computrons)
33) [x] Man-up
34) [x] When I was your age
35) [x] Don't be a wuss.
36) [x] It's just a scratch
37) [x] Take it like a man.
38) [x] That's not how you do it.
39) [x] Shit
40) [x] Here's your
Total So Far: 33
Do you read:
41) [] Playboy
42) [] Sports Illustrated
43) [x] Comic books
44) [x] Men's Health, Fitness, and/or Journal (Yes, sweetheart, I take you magazines after you're done and read them. >.=.>)
Total So Far: 35
Have you:
45) [] NEVER crossdressed for any reason
46) [] NEVER cried during or after a film/television show.
47) [x] NEVER chose wine over beer/liquor at a party.
48) [] NEVER attended a baby shower.
49) [x] NEVER said no to going to a strip club when you could afford it.
50) [] NEVER shaved/removed your body hair.
Total So Far: 37
Multiply your total by 2 and then you have your percent: 74%
Not surprising. I expected higher. But according to this meme, I am 74% masculine. If only I didn't have 42DD boobs. *sigh* >.=.>
Yaxerins.01) [x] You own tools that you use regularly
02) [] You carry a wallet
03) [x] You prefer movies or shows where there is more action than romance
04) [] You spit on the ground when not in a building.
05) [x] You scratch where it itches when it itches
06) [x] Your idea of good footwear is boots or tough tennis.
07) [x] Your wardrobe only changes if you gain weight or the clothes fall apart.
08) [x] You don't count calories when eating.
09) [x] You have deodorant strong enough to make you socially acceptable, but not strong enough to make you smell like it.
10) [x] You tend to wipe your hands on your clothes instead of a napkin.
Total So Far: 8
Do you love:
11) [x] Video games
12) [x] Working on mechanical items.
13) [x] Building things.
14) [x] Working out on gym machines
15) [x] Getting in and out of stores as quickly as possible
16) [] Football
17) [x] Baseball
18) [] Wrestling
19) [x] Boxing/ MMA
20) [x] Hunting and/or fishing
Total So Far: 16
Do you shop at:
21) [x] Home Depot
22) [x] Lowe's
23) [] Big and Tall men's stores
24) [] Hunting and Fishing supply shops
25) [] Auto supply stores or other mechanic shops
26) [x] Hobby shops
27) [x] Comic book stores
28) [x] Sports supply stores
29) [x] Video game stores
30) [x] Electronic supply stores
Total So Far: 23
Do you say:
31) [x] Son
32) [x] I can fix it. (Computrons)
33) [x] Man-up
34) [x] When I was your age
35) [x] Don't be a wuss.
36) [x] It's just a scratch
37) [x] Take it like a man.
38) [x] That's not how you do it.
39) [x] Shit
40) [x] Here's your
Total So Far: 33
Do you read:
41) [] Playboy
42) [] Sports Illustrated
43) [x] Comic books
44) [x] Men's Health, Fitness, and/or Journal (Yes, sweetheart, I take you magazines after you're done and read them. >.=.>)
Total So Far: 35
Have you:
45) [] NEVER crossdressed for any reason
46) [] NEVER cried during or after a film/television show.
47) [x] NEVER chose wine over beer/liquor at a party.
48) [] NEVER attended a baby shower.
49) [x] NEVER said no to going to a strip club when you could afford it.
50) [] NEVER shaved/removed your body hair.
Total So Far: 37
Multiply your total by 2 and then you have your percent: 74%
Not surprising. I expected higher. But according to this meme, I am 74% masculine. If only I didn't have 42DD boobs. *sigh* >.=.>
*gasp* I'm not dead! lol
Posted 14 years agoYep. I'm finally back to FA. Sorry for unannounced leave of absence. I'm now married to my sweetheart, 
thebigkitty. Also, I'm about 11 weeks pregnant, due on January 19th. ^.=.^
For you boys: no, I don't know if it's a boy or girl yet. It's still like golf-ball sized. It doesn't have genitals yet. Won't know for another few months.
I have several pieces of traditional art to put up shortly, but I will try not to flood all at once. I'll just post one a day or so. So, since I was gone a while, congratulations! There is now actual porn on my FA. lol
thebigkitty. Also, I'm about 11 weeks pregnant, due on January 19th. ^.=.^For you boys: no, I don't know if it's a boy or girl yet. It's still like golf-ball sized. It doesn't have genitals yet. Won't know for another few months.
I have several pieces of traditional art to put up shortly, but I will try not to flood all at once. I'll just post one a day or so. So, since I was gone a while, congratulations! There is now actual porn on my FA. lol
Finally re-open for commissions!
Posted 14 years agoSorry for the gap in putting up art, but I just got a new job and am on a new computer. I haven't been able to use my tablet yet, and I haven't felt like scanning pencil sketches to one computer, moving them over to the next to color, and moving them to the new computer to upload them. X.=.x But I am now open for commissions. My ad should be running on FA in the next day or so. ^.=.^ If you would like a commission, I draw most everything (that doesn't offend the site) and can do anything from toons to realism. I can also do moving icons and banners. If you have an idea you want drawn, give me a shout (or message or email; however you can get a hold of me). Even if it isn't one of the items whose price I have listed on my page, I can probably help you out. I also do non-art things like crafts. I can make necklaces, dreamcatchers, even paws and such. But, keep in mind that I don't have a sewing machine (yet), so anything sewn is by hand and will take longer than average. I also make custom plushies. ~.=.^
I <3 my Kitty! thebigkitty
I <3 my Kitty!
thebigkittyOklaCon Meme!
Posted 16 years agoTaken from kurisu-kitsune
Where are you staying?
Hopefully in a tent if I can afford one by then. Otherwise, I'll be in my car. X.=.x
Who will you be with?
I'm trekking it alone with Spike. That's right! My chihuahua is coming with me again, and this time he has a fursuit! He'll be dressed up as a reindeer. ^.=.^ I'm sure I'll hang out with old friends and make new ones. My bf can't come this year, but I'll be with my non-furry friend Jeremy.
What will you be doing?
Everything! I'll be checking out art, playing games, dancing, and of course walking Spike around everywhere. I'll probably be sewing periodically and making more of my outfit as well, since I haven't sewn any of it together yet. X.=.x
Do you do free art?
Sometimes. I do art as I feel like it, but I also do commissions and prefer making something out of it. I do live off my artistic abilities, although that's not just drawing (I sing, play instruments, act, draw, paint, photoshop, write, etc.).
Do you do trades?
Of course! I love art of me. *poses*
Do you do commissions?
Definitely! I'd love to have someone actually request my art.
Do you have prints/CDs?
No, but I'd be happy to make someone one if they asked.
Do you do badges?
Yes!
Will you have art in the Art Show? General or Adult sections?
No, unfortunately not. Maybe next year.
What is your gender?
Female
How old are you?
21
Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
Yes, I am happily with a fellow furry and 'kin. So no, I don't need another mate.
Can I touch you?
In non-sexual ways. Just make sure I know you're there. I don't want to jump and hurt someone. o.=.o
Can I touch your friends?
Spike loves attention. Pet him all you want. Just keep in mind that he is tiny and easily squished... and might pee on you if you pick him up and squeeze him.
Can I talk about/do drugs in front of you?
-is cool-
Can I invite you out for food/fun/etc?
I love food. I'm a starving artist... And fun is always appreciated!
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
I'd love company anytime. Just keep in mind that I'll have no money. >.=.o
Can I talk to you?
Please do! I need to make more friends. ^.=.^
Find me! I'm poor and am only going to barely be able to afford to go this year... so I'll have no money and one friend there. I'm not going to be in the artists' alley, but I'd be happy to make stuff for people if they ask. I'll have all my sewing stuff too to work on my outfit, so if anyone tears a seam or something, I'll be glad to help. =D I have no idea what I'll look like when I get there, but I'll post up pics of whatever pieces of my suit I get done. ^.=.^
Where are you staying?
Hopefully in a tent if I can afford one by then. Otherwise, I'll be in my car. X.=.x
Who will you be with?
I'm trekking it alone with Spike. That's right! My chihuahua is coming with me again, and this time he has a fursuit! He'll be dressed up as a reindeer. ^.=.^ I'm sure I'll hang out with old friends and make new ones. My bf can't come this year, but I'll be with my non-furry friend Jeremy.
What will you be doing?
Everything! I'll be checking out art, playing games, dancing, and of course walking Spike around everywhere. I'll probably be sewing periodically and making more of my outfit as well, since I haven't sewn any of it together yet. X.=.x
Do you do free art?
Sometimes. I do art as I feel like it, but I also do commissions and prefer making something out of it. I do live off my artistic abilities, although that's not just drawing (I sing, play instruments, act, draw, paint, photoshop, write, etc.).
Do you do trades?
Of course! I love art of me. *poses*
Do you do commissions?
Definitely! I'd love to have someone actually request my art.
Do you have prints/CDs?
No, but I'd be happy to make someone one if they asked.
Do you do badges?
Yes!
Will you have art in the Art Show? General or Adult sections?
No, unfortunately not. Maybe next year.
What is your gender?
Female
How old are you?
21
Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
Yes, I am happily with a fellow furry and 'kin. So no, I don't need another mate.
Can I touch you?
In non-sexual ways. Just make sure I know you're there. I don't want to jump and hurt someone. o.=.o
Can I touch your friends?
Spike loves attention. Pet him all you want. Just keep in mind that he is tiny and easily squished... and might pee on you if you pick him up and squeeze him.
Can I talk about/do drugs in front of you?
-is cool-
Can I invite you out for food/fun/etc?
I love food. I'm a starving artist... And fun is always appreciated!
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
I'd love company anytime. Just keep in mind that I'll have no money. >.=.o
Can I talk to you?
Please do! I need to make more friends. ^.=.^
Find me! I'm poor and am only going to barely be able to afford to go this year... so I'll have no money and one friend there. I'm not going to be in the artists' alley, but I'd be happy to make stuff for people if they ask. I'll have all my sewing stuff too to work on my outfit, so if anyone tears a seam or something, I'll be glad to help. =D I have no idea what I'll look like when I get there, but I'll post up pics of whatever pieces of my suit I get done. ^.=.^
Nerd Meme!!
Posted 16 years agoANIME/MANGA NERD
[x] You watch anime.
[x] You read manga.
[x] You own some other form of anime/manga merchandise.
[x] You have referred to an anime character as 'hot' before.
[x] You have created/joined a fanclub for an anime/manga character.
[x] You know that it is pronounced 'mawnguh' and not 'manga' like it is spelled.
[x] You buy/collect anime DVDs or manga volumes.
[x] You have cosplayed.
[x] You have done so in public.
[ ] You have created/joined a hateclub for an anime/manga character.
[x] You have squealed when you found out somebody had the same name as an anime character you knew.
[x] You enjoy drawing anime.
Anime/manga nerd = 11
ART NERD
[x] You like art. Especially furries
[x] You have a favorite brand.
[x] You have a favorite artist.
[x] You actually consider yourself an artist.
[x] When using art supplies, the brand of them matters to you.
[x] You have asked for art supplies as a Christmas/birthday gift before.
[x] You are/were known as 'the art person' at your school.
[x] Instead of just 'brown' or 'pink', you'd be specific; it's 'sienna brown' or 'blush pink'.
[ ] You have taken an art class outside of school. (I don't need it. >X3 J/k. Maybe later.)
[x] You have considered a career as an artist.
[x] Your school papers are always covered in doodles.
[x] Your drawings have been framed.
[x] You carry a sketchbook with you everywhere you go.
Art nerd = 12
MUSICAL NERD
[x] You listen to classical music.
[x] You have a favorite composer.
[x] You write music.
[x] You've had discussions with your friends about music; your favorite composers/instruments/musical time periods/key/etc...
[x] You play a musical instrument.
[x] You play more than one instrument. (Several actually. Piano, violin, guitar, etc.)
[x] You actually really enjoy playing your instrument.
[x] You've given your instrument a name. (My guitar is unofficially named "Fury.")
[x] You are known by what you play. (Actually, I'm known as the girl who loves her guitar more than some of her family.)
[ ] All of your friends are from your band/orchestra class. (Nah, I have furry friends too. ^.=.^)
[x] You have considered a professional career with your instrument. (Working on it!)
[x] You are never nervous playing for other people. (Seriously? I play on stage.)
Musical nerd = 11
VIDEO GAME NERD
[x] You play video games.
[x] You own more than 4 different video game systems. (PS2, N64, GB Color, NES, SNES)
[x] You've had debates over which system is the greatest.
[ ] You play video games every day. (Used to. No time now. *pouts*)
[x] You have played a video game for over 10 hours. (Sly Cooper. 2 weeks. Straight. And Devil May Cry took me 48 hours without sleep.)
[x] You have songs from your favorite video games on your MP3.
[x] You love to talk about video games.
[ ] You memorize the dates for when a new game is being released.
[x] People know you as the 'gamer' person.
[ ] You spend more time on video games than you do hanging out with friends.
[x] Your gaming system is in your room.
[x] You have preferences when it comes to what company your game came from.
[ ] You keep playing a game until you beat it. (Sometimes... but not always.)
[x] It makes you angry when you found out somebody looked up cheat codes on the internet to beat their game.
Video game nerd = 10
COMPUTER NERD
[x] You use the computer every day.
[x] You have an account/username on some sort of social website.
[x] You spend at least 2 hours a day on the computer
[x] You use computer faces. (^.=.^)
[x] It is hard to go a day without using the computer.
[x] You have actually met an online friend in person.
[x] You can type really, really fast.
[x] You go into random internet chatrooms.
[x] You spend time in online forums.
[x] In the forum/chatroom you use, you are known there by everyone else.
[x] U cn ezly rd 'txttlk.'
[x] You have said 'lol' or 'omg' in speech that is not online.
Computer nerd = 12
Read 'em and weep boys. I am made of nerdy win. >X3 Ha. ^.=.^
