Mostly just 3rd shift
Not a night goes by that I am not blown up at by the manager. Now I have to worry that she will blow up and actually hit me. I was told she hit another employee during hubby's shift. I don't want to feel sick to my stomach every time I have to work 3rd. Hubby is sick of it too, just all of it. I'm debating on applying at a local bookstore, if I could find a boutique hiring I would apply there in a heartbeat. Girly things and jewelry and purses and cute gifts, there is no atmospheric I love more *3*. I miss "something special" back home, I would have lived there if I could have. I should have flipped dad off and gone for jewler certification.
I'm so tired of everything. I'm scared that if I try anything new I will just fail or be deeper in debt.

I was fine
and then I ate leftovers
it was a mistake, a horrible horrible mistake

expect slow crafting progress for a bit.


Also stupid bug thoughts
so much want https://www.weasyl.com/submission/3.....d-for-sale-200

https://www.facebook.com/ashley.har.....89701861087314


"***Jewelry discount FB exclusive***
Ok soooo since everyone is doing sales and holiday deals I guess I will give it a shot too. ( that and I have $35 left until next paycheck x.x;)
The deal is 3 full jewelry sets for $100 ( would normally be $135 because full sets are $45) this does not include shipping costs

Alternatively if you only need one full jewelry set the price is $34 ( today only)

If your order can be made using beads I have in stock I can have it completed by the end of the day. I am willing to stream the creation of these live as well.

A full set includes a necklace, bracelet, and earrings. All earrings have a leaver back clasp ( so no more hunting for backs :p). Please let me know if you want a stretch bracelet or a toggle clasp bracelet. Also unless told otherwise my standard bracelet size is 8in give or take a little, so if it is for larger or smaller wrists, please let me know.

***Additional sale: Buy 2 stretch bracelets get 1 free.
Basic pick 3 colors for each bracelet- $16 ( kind of like this https://www.etsy.com/listing/255824....._home_active_3 )

Fancier option - $20 ( example https://www.etsy.com/listing/255929....._home_active_2 ) ***

Pendants and charms available are here https://www.facebook.com/ashley.har.....89601811097319

****Disclaimer!!*** Some of the jewelry in the examples on this post have already found homes, I just wanted to use some of my favorite examples.

Shipping within the US is usually $5 per padded envelope"

because I don't want the last one to be the first thing people see.

https://drive.google.com/folderview.....mp;usp=sharing

Because I want to know

I would love to have my cicada face or Anooushka face as avatars I could use. Does anyone make things for facerig?

I know I have been posting depressing stuff lately because my moods have been shitty. So I think it is time to post something positive.

I am happy to report that Pandora is doing a wonderful job on my cicada suit and the head is coming along very nicely. I got to meet her in person at Fangcon and she is wonderful :D.

I am going to be getting some Christmas stocking charms from  Myrtles-Monsters and I plan on making myself a necklace to wear for the holiday season :3

I have a tiny cicada tea pot and it is just too cute

Hubby's presentis here and I need to finish making it all fancy.

Cake has been cute all day and cuddled with me until i got up.

 Glacidea finished my Flibbertigibbet plush and it looks adorable and Glaukos will be done soon and I am so excited to see how she turns out. Like I think im almost more excited about the Glaukos plush than I am about the Sheba plush XD. Also I am terrible and kept throwing more commissions at her before the others got done. So currently there is Flibbertigibbet, Glaukos, Sheba, and tsum tsum Anoushka in the works. Eevee and Blick are chilling on my headboard x3.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/181.....#cid:102845281

I'm hesitant to write this but, well, mostly I'm just confused and want to get it out, maybe a tiny bit irritated. Anyway, a good while ago I left my half horse suit at my father in laws because he was going to fix the hoof bottoms. This http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11594674/
And his house ate it or something because no one can find it :<
I'm mostly just sad because I wanted to add parts to it and make another character or at least get some more wear out of it.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/18288564/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/18288564/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/18288564/

Which is fine with us. Hubby and his sis are hanging out and playing fallout and I'm going to take a nice hot bath and watch movies and stuff.
Tomorrow we work 2nd with manager senpai

Ohhh and my new tea pot should be here soon. It is a cicada tea pot :3
Monday I have a dentist appointment. I hope I won't fall asleep on the dentist X3 or maybe it would be better if I did, I hate having cavities filled.

Does anyone know a good way to soothe an angry nerve? I have this one nerve in my right hip that acts like it's pinched. I've known I would have bad hips for a long time. It flares up after work/moving around a lot. Hot baths help and stretching also helps a bit but also really hurts for a few mins after. Any helpful advice would be great.

Do you like to party? Do you like swimwear?
The Flying Pickle Lounge is currently hosting a swimwear themed party with awesome prizes! We have 100L in the prize pot and that may increase as more people come in, we are also giving away a few Zoid avis and a lot of pokemon themed goodies! So come on down and enjoy two back to back sets be DJ Prancer and DJ Sheba :D!
This will be at least a 4 hour party and may go even longer!
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Blood%2.....nch/224/33/52/

I would like to find a server to play on with people o3o
I haven't joined a random one because I am a bit shy x.x

I had nothing to do for a while (was sick and stuck in bed) so I finally got around to working on my Etsy and listing pieces. Please give it a look :3
https://www.etsy.com/shop/CicadaAndCrow

I should not be awake right now but I can't seem to stop puking, this is terrifying. To put this is perspective, I rarely puke. I can get next level queasy to the point that I have trouble focusing with my eyes, but I have not had to camp out in the bathroom next to the toilet for quite some time. Hubby is the one that pukes rather easily. I'm not sure if this is another level of this con crud or if I have managed to catch something else or if I am having an allergic reaction to the medicine. I tried taking pepto to stop it but that came right back up. I tried drinking something to get the taste out of my mouth and that came back up to, and it burned going down and when it hit my stomach. I'm so sick of being sick and now I feel like everyone is going to hate me because I can't get well and I keep letting them down. I can't even lie down because it instantly feels like I need to go running to the bathroom again, at this point it is just dry heaves but it really hurts. I'm sorry ;-;

But I'm not exactly suicidal
I just wish I could stop existing for a while.
I dread work constantly and my brain likes to loop " I'd rather die" or " I want to die" over and over and over.

The worst part is knowing that I have to go in tomorrow and she is just going to yell "chica" at me over and over and I'm going to have to sit there through hubby's shift because the schedule is weird.

I'm still sick and I think it might be getting worse idk

I really hate my life right now, I just want to stay at home and craft but no one is ever happy to with that. I can't do what I want, I'm not allowed. I'm never good enough. Hubby is ok with me doing what I want but he doesn't make enough to support us yet because what I can want will be slow to take off.

I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place :<

I made a discord server and you are all welcome to join and chat with me if you want to
https://discord.gg/0dRmVW5Oq3Dfy7wk

It is kinda like teamspeak or vent but I like the design of it a bit better :>

This cold is lasting forever x.x
stupid head cold

I have the most obnoxious head cold. My throat hurts and it hurts to talk so definitely no work of Djing today.
The sinus pressure is even making my teeth hurt , like what the hell x.x

I'm hoping I can get to the point that I can function at work tomorrow, but if it gets worse I might have to call in, but I don't want to x.x

Right now I am actually having trouble seeing what I am typing even with my glasses on which is weird, like you know how you feel super loopy when you are hungover, it's kinda like that.

I'm going to attempt making food and nomming and taking cold meds and watching movies. With food and rest maybe I can get rid of this crap faster ;3;

Update: I was just told that everyone in the home we stayed in for con got sick except for one person. Stupid con crud

Hi all I am Djing a late night set at the Flying Pickle lounge, feel free to come hang out and enjoy the tunes, tonight's theme, well, it's a secret. I want to see if someone can guess what all the tunes have in common. This will be a 3 hour set so you have plenty of time to come hang out ^_^ http://slurl.com/secondlife/Blood%2.....nch/221/37/52/

So my last journal was about work and how it set off a lovely depressive spiral that I have to claw my way out of. Which I was making progress with until I made the mistake of posting about being a bit depressed on fb.
This post https://m.facebook.com/story.php?st.....00001425281356

Kay is my mother in law btw
At first I was offended
Now I'm just angry

I'm Tokophobic, which means that child birth, pregnancy, and some parts of child raising terrify me. For me the thought of pregnancy doesn't fill me with joy, it makes me start plotting the fastest way to kill myself. I would rather die than be pregnant and my husband knows this and would not put me through that because he isn't an uncaring jackass. Her basically saying that I'm being selfish and taking his dream away by not wanting to go through something that would be absolute hell for me, makes me irate. Who would wish that on anyone. I am so fucking mad omfg.

Why?
Work.. (the day started off shitty so I should have anticipated the worst)

My hips are locking up again and I'm in pain, aleve isn't working and I've had a pinched nerve in the middle of my right foot for a long while and it is so angry right now. I cried most of the way home and still am on and off.

"You did a shit job stocking"
... guess who wasn't trained to stock anything other than condiments and sauces...
There is a frige behind the counter and I didn't know it was even a fridge until yesterday.
I'm slowly remembering the processes for what machine makes which drink. I suck at remembering where the refill cups are kept.

Saturday night/Sunday morning was basically nothing but being yelled at in terrible english and today was basically everything going -oh you thought you were making progress, lol no you suck-

I would not be nearly as pissy if the 1st shift stocker dude hadn't angrily shoved a box of stir sticks at me hard enough to make me take a step back. Like that was the straw that made everything come tumbling down. Idk what I even did to initiate such a response, all I did was ask where they were because I didn't see them.

Having my pain level invalidated was pretty crappy too, seriously don't do that to each other it is not ok, everyone experiences pain differently.
I'm going from a completely sedentary life to being on my feet for a whole shift, it's going to take me a while to get used to it and not be in horrible amounts of pain because suddenly my body is realizing that it has to build and repair muscles that were not used as often before.

I'm also pretty irritated that everyone assumes that someone else trained me and I should know where everything is and how it works already -_-

-Idk why she is whimpering-
I'm not whimpering, I'm doing everything I can to contain myself and not vomit or start sobbing because it feels like I'm walking on tacs that are burrowing deeper and deeper with each step. This was at the end of the shift.

So now I have to piece my self confidence and self worth back together and just hope that sleep will repair my mental state. The snide remarks are what truly rip into me, like fuck I'm giving it my all and instead of encouragement or guidance I get the polar opposite. Hubby is left picking up my pieces again.

I need alcohol and sleep and scary movies/manga and lots of reassurance that I'm not a totally worth less blob of flesh.

Let's Boogy with the buggy at the Flying Pickle Lounge!
Tonight I am playing some awesome Funkstep and Discostep so come on down and join the party! As always requests are open. This will most likely be a 3 hour set so you have plenty of time to come and enjoy the tunes!
Slurl http://slurl.com/secondlife/Blood%2.....nch/224/35/52/
You can listen in without being on SL here http://topspinsl.com:8040

The first ever party at the Flying Pickle Lounge is going on right now! So come on down and party! DJ Sheba is on air, playing some awesome Funkstep and as always requests are open! So what are you waiting for?! http://slurl.com/secondlife/Blood%2.....nch/221/37/52/

Sorry for being slow to respond to things this week. I am not feeling very well at all, granted it is to be expected. This is completely normal for me and everything is ok. My overies and Uterus are just trying to stage a coup like they do every month. X.x stress just made this one a little worse. I'll be back to the normal me in a few days.

Honestly I just like having people to chat with
Streaming Beads and some jewelry making and stuff https://furstre.am/stream/Sheba_metaluna