It is with a heavy heart that I announce the retirement of my fursona Sherbert Fox.

A lot of love has been injected into this fursona over the years, but I just can’t do anymore. I have tried for the past few years to bring it to life, but with the gradual end of my relationship, to the traumatic and abusive breakup that happened, I simply cannot be Sherbert any longer. It is too much of a mental weight in my heart to continue. My character was simply too tied into the relationship by the time it ended, and even though it meant a lot to me to be Sherbert, I simply can’t untangle it in any feasible way that would work for my career, and my mental health in the balance.

I loved my partner with every step. Things weren’t always the best, but I did not deserve to be attacked, to be choked, and to be walked out on by complete surprise. For the sake of my privacy, and my safety, I ask that my friends and loved ones respect that I am choosing to never contact my ex in any shape or form. I do not wish to talk about him, I do not wish to interact with him, I have no desire to be involved in any investigation, or any allegations that might come forward In the future. I have endured so much emotional and excessive questioning since our separation. It is not a party question. It is not your business. Please be respectful by being careful about this situation toward me.

I am severely depressed, have had multiple hospitalizations this past year. My mental health is in shambles. To have the one you spent eight years of your life with abandon you out of the blue, and turn your world upside down is insane. He left my heart broken and wounded. Every day feels like loneliness and isolation. Even when I’m among others. I am not okay, I am not going to be okay for a long time. It feels like a death took hold of me. I get sleep paralysis dreams where I dream that he is back, and we are back in a relationship.

My 30th birthday is approaching. I am dreading it. I’m supposed to be thinking about cake, and festivities. All I’m thinking about is the fact that I’m single, abandoned, and wondering why the one person I wanted to celebrate with, the one person who I envisioned being here is gone. My birthday feels less like a milestone, and more like a tombstone. A mark that I am undesirable, and left to the dust.

I will still continue to produce, and to DJ, but under a new alias. A pink skull dog I have named Savaii. I ask all upcoming gigs and events to refer to me as such. Thank you to those who supported all of my projects, when I feel the time is right, I will make a journal update detailing the Savaii project.

Much love to you all, and may karma prevail.

- Savaii

I don’t know what I want with this character anymore. The pain of losing my partner, and the pain of the sexual assaults, abuse, bullying, and scapegoating that has been happening the last few years is enough.

I don’t know what I want. What I do feel is that my new fursonas are fresh to me. Untainted, and unscarred by the past. That as Sencha and Savaii, I feel happy. That these fursuits give me a renewed hope I haven’t felt in a very long time.

I started making some music after wearing my new fursuits, and I’ve never felt so whole. The ideas do not feel stunted, they feel like solids. There is some kind of healing, a feeling that reminds me of who I used to be before the furry community left me battered and broken.

For Sherbert to come back, some people would have to apologize to me. This city would have to offer me redemption, and to not hold me back based on things that I can’t control. I never try to be involved with conflict, the issue is that mental health is taking hold over me, and when I can’t communicate correctly, it gets lost in translation, and at that point, people don't want to be around me anymore. They’ve already made the wrong idea about me.

Not to say that I don’t admit mistakes, but my accusations of others are not mistakes, and I want people to stop acting like I should stop coming forward about things. What people don’t know is ever since I came out about being raped, people on my rapists side have been contacting people I work with, and getting to them to pull me from DJ gigs. I am beyond stressed. It’s like no matter where I play, my promoters, or hosts find out, and get dragged into the drama, just because I came forward about an unfortunate incident I didn’t want to follow me around in the first place, I just want justice. This happened years ago, and it still comes up constantly.

Some people in the music industry have told me if I want to get booked more, I need to shut the hell up, and just let go of the things that have happened. That I have to sacrifice my mental health, and be a DJ, or be honest, and get nothing. These people are taking no responsibility for safety, or care of their people. I don’t understand why we can’t just be honest, and foster the safety of our DJs. If we are honest, then maybe our guests would be too, and we wouldn’t be dealing with so much assault, or harassment at our events.

I am a vulnerable non binary person in the lgbtq community, and I know for a fact I’m not the only one who has been through the hell that I’ve crawled through. There are many more like me, and many furries in their teens, that are gradually becoming the next generation of furries. Are we really going to keep perpetuating this cycle of not doing anything ? It is going to affect them, and if we continue to do nothing, we are going to have to take to our graves that we did nothing to help them, and that the cycles of abuse can keep going. Don’t tell me that it can’t be completely fixed. I know that. There will always be rape, but the amount of harassment, and assault happening is not small. There are no excuses for doing nothing. We can absolutely be doing more to lower the number of these incidents.


I’m not saying Sherbert is over, but I am debating, and thinking. The character doesn’t excite me anymore the way it used to. I’m too hurt inside to really feel that connection. I do not know if I can continue to be this person that you want me to be. I am broken, and I am saving up money to leave Seattle, whenever I can. This community has hurt me, and I need a new start. Im beyond disappointed in everything, and If I can’t heal this place, I won’t be staying. I am not going to be a stain on a community that wronged me, I’m going to continue to be an advocate for the end of rape culture. For being a survivor, and I’m going to go where I can heal. I’m done with all of the bullshit, and scapegoating. I’m done not getting what I deserve.

Instead Savaii will be rising in their place. I have a skull dog suit coming in a few months.

The Sherbert suit is still being made, don't worry. But other than DJ gigs, Sherbert will no longer be active for the time being. I need a break from it, and to live through another fursona for awhile. The events that took place this year have been TOO MUCH for me to handle. I cannot keep things the same. I need a break.

I can’t stand not waking up to him every day. It’s killing me. I need him back. Call it what you want, but I really help but long for him. Losing him is my greatest mistake, and I would do anything to get him back. I need him in my life. Please come home.

Life just isn’t the same without you. You can say over and over that you’re not the one for me, but I don’t believe that. Life feels worse without you in it. I miss your smile, I miss the way you laughed, I miss watching you enjoy your hobbies, and everything that makes you who you are. I’m suffering the longer this goes on, and I don’t think it will ever stop.

I’m sitting here counting down the days, knowing that my future has been altered. An entire ending has been stolen from me. It’s like a video game where you make the wrong choice, and everything changes, except I can’t just put a disc in to start over.

I don’t want to live without you. You were the greatest thing, and I would do anything for you to come back. The house is too quiet, and you may not even realize it, but you made my life ortg living, even when we were struggling. I need you back. I can’t promise you I’ll still be here if you don’t. My mind is constantly flipping between living and not. I’m stuck in between, and I need you more than anything.

All I hope is that one day I can help people who are going through the same thing I am right now. Turn this chaos into something useful.

passed away three days ago. He took his life, and I just want the world to know how fucking awesome he was. There was never a time that he wasn't uplifting, sweet, and so supportive of me. Heck, I remember on my birthday he came over the night before just to make sure I had a good "pre birthday". I had never heard of a pre birthday.

Also remember fondly dancing with him at Anthro Northwest last year when my partner Zapper was playing. I'll never forget him as long as I live, and I'm just so torn up and sad about getting sick with covid, delaying our hang out, and making it impossible to see him before he died.

Gosh Rocoro, I know why you did this, I am glad you are at peace, but I am still worried about you passing on, and I do not feel better. This shit hurts, and it just sucks. I can't feel my own body at times because of how numb it feels to know that we as friends couldn't do enough to save him. I miss him so much.

RIP Rocoro.

I’m in a bad place right now. Full of confusion, disorientation, depression, and just all around bad feelings. I need people to know that I’m feeling suicidal, lost, and just really bleh.

Losing a friend to suicide is hard, and I hope to have more words for this, but I’ve already typed it so many times that now my mind is just blank.

Edit: I’m alive, and not in any danger. Please stop asking my partner if I’m okay. I’m alive. I never intended this post to be “I’m about to kill myself” I’m not. I just have some suicidal feelings. Zapper is also fine. Don’t worry.

I just want you to know that you're loved, no matter which side of the fence you are on. War sucks, and I truly hope that it gets better soon. No one asked for a war. All the poor fluffs trapped in it, I will pray for your safety, and that you won't be unable to continue to exist. A lot of furries don't currently grasp just how big the Russian and Ukrainian art industry is in the fandom. Plenty of illustrations, and suits come from those regions. For some this is a main line of income, and it will be hard if they can no longer work.

Blessed be, and keep your head up. Poland is currently open if you need to escape. No visa is required, just have your passports ready. (Spreading this, because this is what I have been seeing reposted all over social media, and I wanted to keep the chain going. Haven't seen it yet on Furaffinity.)

I've been feeling quite happy lately. My new music is turning out awesome! It's sounding very close to how I have wanted it to be. It takes me back to the days of my first album release.

As for my travels, well they have been great. I attended Furvana at the end of the summer and had the time of my life.

I'll be attending a couple more cons in the future as well, and I couldn't be more happy. Well, maybe if I were DJing, but that will happen one day. For now I just practice at home when the mood strikes.

Maybe one day I'll do a con. I already have a couple prospects, so the best I can do for now is keep up my progress.

But there is something bugging me deep down. It's the idea that most people don't care to rock the boat. You see, everywhere I go there is always someone part of something big who happens to be a major asshole, and I don't know why people like putting up with these assholes. I feel like they'd rather stay quiet, and just get payed, even if a person is problematic in a big way.

No matter how many scandals, or how many organizations, and companies go down the drain, everyone will most likely stay quiet. It boggles my mind, because instead of just flat out not condoning something, they'd rather be miserable, and I just don't see the sense in it.

I pride myself in being honest, and always what you get. If you see me out and about, and you want to ask me a question? Go for it.

Respect, integrity, and love for a community are admirable to me. Not control, fear, and complacency. These issues can be traced back to every problem we have in the world today. It always starts with someone being told to keep quiet, or to mind their own business, but I don't want to do that. If I feel there is a reason to inquire, or to ask "Why are we allowing this bad behavior to happen?" I'm going to ask that question damn it. I'm not on a leash. I'm not going to just do what others tell me. I'd rather take a fall for awhile, and know that I did the right thing, so that maybe one day others can do it as well.

I am having nausea, headaches, fevers, pain in my upper chest, horrible stomach pain,
a scratchy throat and occasional but not frequent shortness in my breath.

What this means is I most likely have some sort of flu like illness. My doctor has scheduled me for a drive through covid-19 test. I am terrified, and I ask for everyone to please pray for me in whatever way you believe during this time.

If you're pagan I want you to send me your positive energy and pray to your gods. If you're Christian I want your light and prayer through God. If you're not religious, please just keep me in your thoughts.

It doesn't matter what you believe, I just ask for your prayers the way that you believe in them. I'm really afraid and until I get the test tomorrow, and the results later I will be flooded with these painful feelings of anxiety.

The thoughts that run through my head the most are having covid and not making it through. What if I died and left my boyfriend behind? He needs me. I don't think he can relate to a lot of people and I worry about what would happen to him without me.

My husky is a rescue and he doesn't do well with other people that he isn't comfortable with. He would have a rough time being rehomed, and may have to be put down because he does fear bite. I can't put him through any more trauma. He was abused as a pup and rehomed way too much. He's a sweet but challenging dog that needs lots of love and extra care.

My best friend has autism and is beginning to get care. They haven't done so before and I fear what would happen without me there to push them through it.

I just can't leave this earth yet. I have way too much to do for my loved ones. Please pray for me however you can and give me support during this scary time.

With Love and Thanks,
Sherbert Fox

I'm looking for an artist that can do my nest album cover. I'm looking for some pretty detailed cyberpunk/fantasy type of work. My budget is no more than 200$

The art piece will be nsfw/sfw. Meaning that the main piece will be lewd, but there has to be a sfw edit that will allow me to sell my music on all platforms.

Digital illustrations only please. Please let me know if you know anyone. 💜

Korg for Nintendo Switch is a great software if you're looking for something fun and educational. Through working with this you will learn how to mix and create custom synths, working successfully on each and every part that goes into working with them.

I recommend it for all musicians; whether they are starting out and looking for an affordable way to learn, or if you're experienced like me and looking for something non traditional to play with.

Here's a great example of what you can do with it. This song is called "Ice Angel" by Nozua. I really admire their work with the software. Reminds me of a lot of my favorite trance songs back in the day. 😌

https://youtu.be/NjZT15vP60E

While hanging out with a friend I was sexually assaulted last summer. He locked the doors In his car, and forced me to have sex with him.

Recently I have come forward with my allegations, and as a result of this, I have been banned from a local furry group in my community. They are hiding the person who harassed me, accusing me of lying, and protecting them.

It is not the role of community groups to take legal action. It's the role of law enforcement, and they need to know their place. How I have been treated of late because of what has happened is unfortunate, especially when the sexual assault didn't even happen at one of their events. I am beyond disappointed.

Trusting is hard after things happen, and the road is long.. but I have good people around me who love and care for me no matter what happens. The worst accidents couldn't keep me from them. They'll only make us stronger. I love and care for each of the people in my life. Always..

I feel like I am worthless on this earth. Like killing myself would be the only answer. No matter what happens I am always hurt, scorned, and abused by those who are supposed to be there for me. Called a nag for not enjoying unsafe situations, and etc.

No more of that. If Im not okay with something you just don't do it. For fucks sake I don't deserve any more pain. I've endured so much.

I am in danger, so I will be deactivating my FA for a few days to a week. Do not unfollow. I will be back.

A local hate group known to Seattle as Operation Cold Front tricked me into a fake interview at Seattle gay pride fest. They have my info, accounts, and are using A.I. to find and physically hurt people. They may also use my furry badge info to identify me here, hence why I am deactivating for awhile.

Stay vigilant for me while I am gone.

You know what? I'm happy.

Recently I discovered that Im very sick. I've been sick for over a month. I have no idea what is wrong, and Im hoping to find out soon.

Despite that I have done so much lately. I made so many kind friends at college, got my life back on track, and have plans to see my partner in the near future.

Yeah, Im a bit depressed right now. There have been a few bumps in the road, but I have plenty to live for. There are good things to be focused on, and I really shouldn't let the bad things get to me.

I know my truth. I know who I am. That's all that matters.

Recently I was heavily discriminated for my beliefs. I am depressed, appalled, and just feeling plain old violated.

Here are the facts about my beliefs, and what they mean for me.

- I am not wiccan. My beliefs are similar, but I choose not to have a set of organized thoughts. My spiritual path is my own.

- I am Hellenic. This means that I follow the greek pantheon. However, I am willing to extend beyond even that.

- My Patron goddess is Hecate. Her name is pronounced Heck-keh-tay. She is a triple goddess of the moon, and magic. In my belief it is said that she does not like fantatically devoted followers. You need to be independant of self, and free in your thought.

- Other gods I follow are Aphrodite, The Horned God, The Lady Ravenna, and the Lord of The Greenlake.

- Every Spring spiritual lgbt+ people in my community gather for a ritual in a specific forest to wake Lady Ravenna, and the Lord of the Greenlake. Its unknown to many, but very popular among Seattleites. Lady Ravenna, and Lord Greenlake are said to bless the lgbt+ community, and prevent harm from coming our way in the greater Seattle area.

- I believe that all religions, and beliefs are right. Every single belief on earth is right, so long as you do not inflict harm.

- I am not one that conciders my belief religious. I prefer spiritual.

- On every solstace I hang out with my pagan friends of various beliefs, and practice traditions. Deep down its really just a way to show appreciation to the earths beauty, and wonders.

- I do tarot. I have a beautiful deck.

- Collecting crystals is a hobby of mine. My favorite stone is my rose quartz. Its a big boi. I also love my lucky amethysts, obsidians, and my citrine. I have plenty more as well.

- We do not do negative rituals. We only partake in the positive.

- Science comes first for me. I do not believe one should rely only on divination, crystals, or oils to be healthy. Please get vaccinated, and trust your doctors foremost.

Please do not mislabel, or judge me before you get to know me. I am not aiming to convert, or start a fellowship. I am just me, and this is my truth. It really sucks to listen to others talk about themselves for hours and hours, only to be rejected against because I opened up, and shared my truest colors.

I hope that you all feel something today. Valentines day isn't just about finding love, or being in love. Its writing sweet notes to people you care about, and showing people that you think about them during the year.

The point of view that we shouldn't just do it on one day does make sense to me. Valentines day is much more than corporate interest, and consumers. I get where people come from, but do not forget that its more than just a day of the year. Some people think about it for more than just a day.

Im going to be honest, I think this is the worst valentines day I have ever had in my life. Im very ill, I can barely speak, and I can hardly taste anything. It makes today feel quite meaningless at a glance, but It is not. Just because this the worst one in my life does not mean that other people can't feel loved. If I can just make someone feel appreciated, even just a friend, or my sibling, then I am going to do it.

Happy Valentines day everyone. I hope yours is better than mine.

I withheld my resolution until now, and would like to reveal it.

My resolution for 2019 is to not have toxic relationships. To be mature, and recognize red flags. To that I have had to do the following.

- Set space between me and my best friend. He is a good person deep down, but I can't give in to his toxic mentalities just because he is lonely, or when he is whining. I don't believe in betrayal, so I will not cut out someone who truly cares for me, but I have checked out of their personal drama that they voluntarily walk into. It doesn't matter how much distain they express. The actions say otherwise, and I need healthy distance to heal this friendship. It might mean seeing this person less, but as long as it is what I need to do, it is for the best. Tough love has a way of making people come around.


- No teenage mentalities with people. No matter how cool they were, or great they seem, I cannot be around toxic people. I cannot be around people that make me uncomfortable. Goodbye to those of you who harm me, or put me in danger. Im not sorry.

- To not let people do things that make me uncomfortable just because I am scared of them. Stalkers, predators, and people who have no respect for me are out. They are never going to be associated with me again. Don't even try. Im not even going to be bothered by them, or threatened. Talk to me, or bother me if you are one of these people, and I will file a police report.

- Its time for femboys to be strong, and not give into harmful people. We often act as pushovers, and go the long way instead of just saying no, and enforcing that decision. People earn the right to form bonds with you. Do not just trust people. Keep your guard up, and never let it down until someone earns the right to.

I will always be a kid at heart, but I will not be a kid in the mind. Im twenty four, going to college, interning at an office, and being a grown man. If you are not my boyfriend, a job, responsibilities, with my consent, kind in your heart, or a TRUE friend, then what are you doing with me? We are not on the same frequency anymore. This is 2019. The 2012 me moved on.

- Sherbert Fox

People who block with no reason are the lowest of friends. Instead of giving you a reason they just retreat into a den of lies.

They are cowards who can't face reality, and they should wake up..

Why do we highlight idiots in the fandom?

We’re ignoring most of the talented people that try really hard, but to no avail.

Instead of bright and kind minds, we accept over saturated drama, scandalous behavior, and constant fighting within the fandom.

Then there’s always that one person trying to flip someone else’s misfortune for their own gain.

Lately I’ve noticed a lot of furries are fed up with the lack of support, and have left the fandom. It’s time to change the way we act, and be more supportive to others.

Unless we want pedophiles, zoophiliacs, sexual assaulters, harassers, and other bad people to continue being the voice of the fandom.

You can prey all your life, but you'll still end up food for the weak after you take your final breath..

Those that disturb the forest are also doomed to be made justice of..

This is the law of the forest..