It's already 5 AM here (on GMT+07:00) but anyway, Happy new year guys!!

I wish you guys a happy new year with love <3

It's TMI Tuesday time, good people of FA!!

Well, it's like the usual, if you have something you want to ask me, some question you want to know or some topic you wanna talk, just post it on the comment section below.

I'll answer your question or reply your message whenever I can(As for now it's nearly 5 AM)

One more thing, I love you guys <3

THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!

I guess I'm alright by now, at least I can say I'm free from mental depression at the moment, thank you for your supports and sincerely thanks to those who comfort me with your post, chat or anything!!

And a little update that I'll try to draw something soon, currently have an artwork in progress (which you can check on my twitter).

And since it's already Tuesday, if you wanna ask me something just ask me anything you want to know :3

This evening my bro talk with me about work, our company, and my motivation to help them.

I admit I don't want to do it, not because I don't want to help them but they criticize me for every task they put on me that I didn't reach their expectation, which is quite high.
So my brother needs me to be honest what's exactly on my mind.

At these kind of situation, everyone including me, might think his mind is open to help me, right?

He prove me I'm totally wrong....

He judge me for everything I confess to him, he listen only 2 sentences of each story and judged me already, like

"Everyone can, why you can't?"
"You have to get up on your own, don't cry for help"
"Other people DO have the problem just like you"
"To comfort someone is no different than licking their wound"

He always respond my problem with something like "I have problem bigger than you"
Til the very end, Like I'm using these thing as an excuse to be weak...

And the most frustrated things when he respond my confession that I thought several times about suicide is
"If you ever commit suicide, I'll punches you in the face"
"And I'll do it right now!!"

He didn't punch me in fact, but using violence as a threat to stop me from thinking...

While I suffered from depression, I decided to stay in my room because I don't wanna be a nuisance, but he accused me that I close my heart away from them even though they wanna help.

And this is what's really happen when he's trying to "help" me...
I feel like a worthless shit more than before, knowing he will punches my corpse after I commit suicide, thanks for the help...


What's really hurts me about this is he think he do understands me...
Not to mention he's my older brother who grew up together since we were a kid.
It's really hurt when someone says they "understand" you, even though what they really did is just to say something they want to say and go, without listening to your whole story at all, or judge you instead of understand you....


In fact I didn't want to tell people about this thing, but I feel so despair with my life right now....
At least I want to do something before my head is explode out of depression or really gone crazy....

Well I'm bored anyway, if you have some question just leave me on the comments below :3

Today is officially my 5th year anniversary on FA, and as a full-fledged furry artist too, Yayyy!!! :DDDD

I promise I'll keep drawing furry art until my very last breath and I'll try harder to be a better artist so, please "bear" with me together :3

When I turned 20, I just thought to myself that I'm growing into my maturity age looking back to my teen self.
When I turned 30, I just thought that I'm starts turning old looking back to my 20s' self.

I can bet that when I'm turning 40, I'm going to thought to myself again that I'm still so young at my age of 30s' lol

Anyway I'll try to stay young at heart as always even I'm turning 31 XD

No one tagged me but I saw  MegaWaffle do this and it looks interesting enough to give it a shot XD

1. You started to play videogames at the age of...?
Since I can remember things, like 3-4 years old

2. First game you ever played?
Pooyan

3. First console you owned?
NES

4. Consoles you own/owned?
NES, SNES, Wii, PS1-4 , Gameboy, Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance, NDS, 3DS, PSP, PSVITA, 360

5. Your favorite genre(s)?
RPG and Action RPG I guess

6. Favorite game character(s)?
Kimahri(FFX), Eugene(Tales of Rebirth), Repede(Tales of Vesperia), In fact there's too many characters for mentioning every one of them here lol

7. Which element(s) in games is/are most important for you (story, graphic etc.)?
Story progress and character development, as well as combat system and level up system.

8. You don't care about ...?
English translation I guess, most of my friends were about waiting for English Version release of Japanese game but since I can understand more than 60% of Japanese, I can go with both version of language.
Besides, English voice actor for Japanese game didn't suits the game well imo so I choose to play Japanese game in their original language instead.

9. Prefer PC or Console?
Actually I'm a gamer since I remember things so I'll go with Console, but the fact that PC completely exceed the Console game in term of performance is still remain.

10. Your current 3 Fav games?
Dragon Quest 8, Persona 3, Final Fantasy 10

11. 3 Games you didn't like...
Bomberman: Act Zero...(Watch review on youtube and you'll see why) , Demon's Souls...(I'm not a fan of hardcore instant-kill game with extreme difficulty) , Bio Hazard 1 (I'm not fan of survival horror, ghost game or any suspense game too)

12. One game that's totally overrated in your opinion?
Final fantasy 8, Not only magic draw system makes the game boring but the fact that monster getting stronger vary on your level is really bullshit, The RPG should gave player the freedom to explore things, strengthen their character. but since monster getting stronger with same pattern and move makes the game boring because if you want to make your character reach their full potential for each stat/ avoid overpowered enemies later on, you have to run away from battle for almost the entire game.
So what's the point playing game where you can't really fight enemy?
(Saga series is different because they reward player with new technique and enemy's attack pattern changed as the game progress so, it is a challenge unlike FF8)

13. Ever played an online game, if yes which one(s)?
Ragnarok Online, WOW, Guild Wars 2, Champion Online(mostly solo lol)

14. What do you think about ...Tomb Raider?
Thanks graphic engine these day to upgrades Lara's boobs from triangle polygon into a proper one lol

15. ...Tetris?
Nope, boring

16. ...Sonic?
I try Sonic game several times but I can't manage myself to love the franchise honestly.

17. ...Spyro?
haven't play it

18. ...The Sims?
At The sims 1-2 I'm so enjoy with the game but I start to think what's the point of living a life playing a game about living a life. lol

19. ...Legend of Zelda?
One of a legendary game that I've never try before, unfortunately N64 and Gamecube was the only 2 console I didn't own.(Not count Sega Genesis and Dreamcast though)

20. ... Assassin's Creed?
Jumping from the tower like 30th floor and landing on the pile of straw, alive. What kind of bullshit is this lmao

21. GAME OVER!!!
Continue or load your last savepoint is always an option

22. Game(s) you'd love to see?
MMORPG for furry I guess lol

23. Game(s) you're waiting for at the moment?
Persona 5 and Dragon Quest 11

24. Tag some gamers here, if you want to.
Nah

An announcement that I've wiped out all of my old artwork from 2012 and older.
That's mean the oldest artwork you can find on my gallery will starts from year 2013.
If you want to know why, there is 2 reason for this action.

1. I just wanna help FA with their resource so the site won't goes down so often like it used to be.
2. Those old artwork makes me who I am today and now it's my time to keep moving a step further, I just need some fresh start for my incoming future rather than stuck with the past.

Also, the good news is with FA new features I've rearrange my gallery into separate folder so you can explore my old artwork and find something you're looking for much more easier now :D

Just a quick notification that I'll delete all of my old work that's older than years 2012 soon.
I won't re-upload it anymore so, make sure you found something you really wanna keep and save it before it wiped out from FA forever.(This way I can help FA spares some resources as well)

If you wanna know why the reason is plain and simple, because I'm embarrassed how I draw those stuff back there, I'm sure I'm getting better now so let the past be the past and moving on, that's all. lol

I have free time tonight so, ask me anything!!

lewd question is also fine :P

I've heard the news just now from Twitter, so I go check the rumor myself
According to the official website, Morenatsu was officially stopped from developing.

---

http://morenatsu.sakura.ne.jp/

お知らせ
本ページにアクセスいただきありがとうございます。
誠に勝手ながら、「漏れなつ。」は製作の続行が厳しい状況となり、
開発を中止することを決定致しました。
シナリオ未発表のキャラを残したまま終了となってしまい、申し訳ありません。
皆様のご支援の中での苦渋の選択となりましたが、何卒ご理解賜りますようお願い申し上げます。

(Translating via Google translate, but I double checked the translation and it's quite correct)

Thank you for access to this page.
Though very selfish, "Morenatsu" Continue of production is a difficult situation,
We decided to stop the development.
It becomes the end while leaving the character of scenario unpublished, sorry.
It was a bitter choice in everyone for your support, but I ask kindly you look forward for your understanding.

---

It's really sad to hear but Morenatsu was officially discontinued...
The most frustrated part for me is I want to see Torahiko's route, since he's the one who have the most passion towards Hiroyuki(Protagonist)

Anyway, thank you for the good time, thank you for making me cry with a really touching story, thank you for making cool characters for us to appreciate.
Thank you for everything, Morenatsu Developer team.

It's weekend and I feel bored as hell so, let's chat!!

Any topic is fine though.
Drawing, game, hobby, point of view or situation around the globe ETC.

You can ask me whatever you want to know.
Just for fun, naughty question or non-sense question were fine as well :D

http://madeinshinoda.tumblr.com/pos.....ire-luckily-we

I'm on my PC desk as usual, but suddenly the Air Conditioner is power off even though it's still turn on.
I figured there's something very wrong here and go out right away checking the outside.

Things turn exactly as I thought, I smell something "electronically" burnt and saw some smokes from AC, No doubt it's overheated and ready to be caught on fire anytime.

And luckily because my house and my factory(We own a company as family business)were close by so we have a fire extinguisher here, and manage to control the fire in the end.(with the helps of my bro and my dad)

I admit I'm still in mental depress condition while things happen, I have no time to be depress at that moment and now I feel horrible, the depression still stay, I've smell some of the smoke and got myself a little dizzy, even until now.

This is one of the worst night on this year.
But well, on the bright side I still have my home to live. I didn't want to imagine if I didn't made it in time, maybe I'll turned homeless overnight.

I think I should be active with my watchers more, and this is the best way to bring up some topic to chat.

Ask me anything you want to know!! :D

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE, I CAN'T DO THIS WITHOUT YOUR SUPPORT! ;D

I'm having a mood to chat once in a while so, let's discuss!

Where did your username came from?

First is my turn, Well I don't know I've told about this or not, But The whole story start since I'm 12-13

That time, I saw an idol magazine in my brother's room, and I saw an idol named "Hamasaki Ayumi"
I really like her because she's so pretty.

Later when I'm in high-school, The first album "Hybrid Theory" from "Linkin Park" was a really big hit even here in Thailand. And that's make me and my high-school friends become Linkin Park fan.
And if you know Linkin Park, you will know right away that my most favorite person in the band is no other than "Mike Shinoda".

At the age of 18, I'm trying to play MMORPG called "Ragnarok Online" and that's when I have to create my own username for both ID and BBS for having a chat with everyone.

I try to think about what name should I use, and that's when everything starts.
"Shinoda" from my favorite singer, and "Hamasaki" from my favorite Idol, this must be a perfect name!!
12 years ago, a person named "shinoda_hamazaki" has made his appearance into internet world.(As a MMORPG player and member from some BBS instead lol)

trivia: actually a proper way to spell "Hamasaki" is "s", but due to my lacks of knowledge, I ended up using "z" instead.


Few years later, I discovered the truth that both Shinoda and Hamasaki is actually a surname and it sounds very weird for a Japanese name, And that's how "Shinodakuma" (Shinoda bear) came from.
I use "Kuma" because now I am a full-fledged furry who have bear as a fursona(And because I love Japanese culture so it became Kuma instead of Bear), and so many people still calling me Shinoda, that's how I decide to pick this name.

And to made it more fun, I made my character(alternate fursona)name "Schneider Hammerski" just to adapt my old username which is quite an interesting name for me.
(Some people even say this name is very "German" though XD)

In fact I have a plan to permanent switch and leave my old username behind as there's some drama story when I use that name which now, is already a past, So I can leave them behind and move on my brand new journey with this username instead.
Sadly FA still didn't provide changing username function, But well whatever.

That's how my username end up like this.

Okay, now it's your turn :D

I'll moving away, in other words, running away from home within these 5 years.

I've had enough of them, All they wants me to be is their puppet who obey and act whatever they want.
All they want is me as a son and inheritance of the family, not me as a person.

My life is ruined by their decision countless times, I've became something worthless and loss the meaning of existence all because what they wants me to be.

My good friend once ask me "It's your life after all, why didn't you choose your own life?"
I think it is the time, I lived my life for the others long enough and now it's time for me to have my own life, my own happiness and of course, my own dream.

I don't care what everyone will say, whatever will become to them anymore, I DO care about them everything, but they didn't care about me at all.

They only care about me because I'm the inheritance of this family member who shared the same bloodline with them, and because I'm a shareholder from our company, I have no choice but to take that responsibility without my agreement since the moment I was born.
They didn't care me as an actual person even a single bit, I have no right to choose what I want to become, What I want to do, what I'm feeling and I have no right to argue them, All they answer me is "This company is what we've built and we should keep makes it alive" and "If it do less money than our business can then just give it up"

This is an actual Asian people culture happened here, but frankly this is no difference than the enslavement.

I'm trying to be nice, trying to get along, trying to adapt, trying to understand their point of view but in the end, it's me who have to sacrifice my every fucking things I have "for their sake"

I know money is very important to do the living these days, but money didn't means everything.

All I ask all along is acceptance for who I really am, for what I've done, for what I love, but the answer from them is "No, you have to abandon yourself and helping your brother running this business"

Affecting by this environment as a trauma of my life, All I'm looking for all these times is the value of my very own existence as a person being, I feel like I'm an incomplete being who's matter this world not either being dead or alive because I'm no different than a puppet living with my family.
Which later, I've found the value of my existence through my furry friends and this fandom.

Now what I need is some cash and I'll rent or buy a house, And I'll permanently moving out from this family.

Maybe at that time I'll do commissions for living, As all I know how right now is drawing.
So, Please bear with me a little longer, I still need supports and friends.

And thank you for reading my story.

I love you all <3

Everyone should know about this IMVU things already by this point so, I'll get straight to the point.

I am a businessman myself IRL and I know it well that to keep the funs running we should have the fund as well.
I'm not judging everyone's decision who's right or wrong because we're having different priorities and different points of view too.

All I want you to know is I understand the situation here and the decision that has been made, and I won't leave FA for the time being, at least not until they adding some TOS that affected us artist in the bad way(which they should think this carefully or it will backfire themself heavily, and IMVU do knew these fact as well)

And also FA is not my only gallery you can find on the internet.

If you're leaving FA or any reason of yours, you can find me on Pixiv, Inkbunny, tumblr, Sofurry, Deviantart and Weasyl. (The link is on my profile page)

Unless you have something important that need to contact with me/the artist directly or "in a middle of conversation with me/ those artist"

Apart from that, Don't send the notes with a topic such as "Hi, how are you?"
Notes is not a private messenger, There was a shoutbox exists for a reason.

Seriously, why?
Honestly I'm starting to get annoyed by these people more and more.

It's like "Hey look I've got myself a new watcher! At least I just want to know who they are" but suddenly once I'm approaching they're shutting their house on my face, and keep sneaking watch me from the inside.
Don't you think it's kind of rude and insincere? when you're being watched by someone but they're apparently refuse to at least show us who they are, Paparazzi? Stalker?

I don't know what kind of anon they are, but it make me feels like I'm "being monitored" (in other words, "being stalked"), somehow even make me feels insecure instead.

Anyway I can't think of a good reason to disable the access on their page besides they want to cover up their identity for specific reason , I don't know, Maybe they're up to something no good(stalking purpose ETC.) or just a spamming bot.

Can someone explains to me at least a one good reason?

I'm hyped by almost releases Dragon Quest Heroes and upcoming Persona 5, not to mention there's so many upcoming game Like FF Type-0 HD and FF13 Versu......I mean FF15 :P

So I did bought myself a PS4 with Metal Slime Edition(Dragon Quest Heroes PS4 Bundle)

http://41.media.tumblr.com/ad894968.....ywoo1_1280.jpg

Time to say good bye to my old fat PS3. Thanks for this 7 years of your hard work.

https://41.media.tumblr.com/c938fd6.....ywoo1_1280.jpg

To get it short, Left front wheel's ball joint got broke all of the sudden, cause my car's bumper sliding on the road surface for 20 feet.

There is no casualty or injury though(in fact just a little, my thumb finger got bleed from holding steering wheel way too hard due to vibration on the impact.)
But it does cost me repairing my car, what a day I have...


But at least on the bright side, Luckily this happened when I drive in the city with low speed, If this happened when I drive on highway with above 80mps speed, I'm dead for sure.

More details here
http://madeinshinoda.tumblr.com/pos.....-my-field-work