Yeah haven't been very active because of school, I'm still around and alive and looking to uploading more weird stuff soon. Until then I got a twitter https://twitter.com/DonkeyShinx I think?

Why do I feel so weak? What's the point of it all?
I can't wrap my head around something. I need some help.

it's been a couple of years since I've lost half my family due to various problem... beloved family I'll never see again... an empty void I can't fill that has lead to a spiraling out of control amount of spending to try and fill myself with an empty joy.
I have no RL friends, just ones I chat with online.
I have a job that I hate and cry almost every time I have to go back for another week of it.
I have so very little left...

when I saw two of my virtual friends for the first time in presence I felt some warmth some love and hope I can't remember when..

Then when we parted ways the void consumed me stronger...

I feel emptier each day as I struggle to find an ounce of hope.

All I want is to sleep.. at least in dreams I can be happy.

So recently I lost my gaming computer. A huge sli multimonitor monster shorted out and totally fried due to ash in the components.
Also for the month I'm without internet or cell services. I can't call, text, browse, ect untill around the 10th or 15th of July. My sister decided to stream netflix on her phone when sh was bored and used up 21gb of data, and our wifi got perminantly knocked out by something. We don't even have a wifi account on file anymore with our provider. Until things get worked out I'm gonna have to wait on a lot of things and borrow McDonald's wifi.

Just after a ton if really bad luck ranging from bloodtests saying in sick with something to my computer having problems to work being a burden.
Okay so. My gaming computer busted with an unknown and uneducable problem do I ordered a new one. Waited days. Missed signing for the first attempted delivery. Got it the next day and. Inside of it is smashed up. Spent hours with tech to try and get it sent back in under warranty. So it's gonna be another forever before I can get anything.
As for the blood test, I'm sick with something and won't know what it is unroll the results come back. So there's also that.
I'm frwaking stressed out and can't get any relief. Like I'm being choked to death here.

I haven't ever done something like this before but here we go.
if you haven't heard of it... http://www.kickstarter.com/projects.....37745/armikrog
yeah support this.

My Great Grandma fell yesterday, broke her hip and banged her head. She has blood pooling to her brain and isn't expected to make it much longer.
I have mixed feeling about this since I've gone through this many times before. it hasn't been a year yet since my Cousin and my Uncle died. and not to mention she's been asking God to take her for many years prior to. I'm just not so sure right now how to feel or even care.

I'm 24 now, that is all.

No seriously, the public release of UDK4 is coming soon and looking forward to playing with it. I was getting comfortable with UDK3, and just needed me some Static-mesh and character models and would have been good at making a game.
So here's hoping the UDK4 is even easier for me to use, and has the features we were promised.

So the other day some punk stole from our store.
An elderly customer purchased some beer with a few other items and on his way out this kid snatch the beer out of his cart and bolted.
The man gave chase but the kid got away.

What the fuck man?

Are people that desperate for things now?