https://gofund.me/cb0ca0cc

I'm gonna make this short and sweet. I am in need of financial help so my car doesn't get reprocessed. Any bit helps. Donate, Share, do anything you all can do to help me please. ='(

I have suffered too much and have tried to ask for help but have zero luck in help. =(

I got a call from my mom at 1:12am to tell me that my little brother had just died. There was no cause of it of because we don’t know how it happened. But from what I was told. Both he and my big brother were playing a trucker game with FaceTime. That’s all I was given.

This is the worst news for me because I’m down in another state and my family is up north. I’m trying to get my life back together but now I get hit with this news, it’s the worst! I know he and I butt heads but it never changed the fact that I love my little brother and now I question why god took him away from us?

You heard right I got hacked because my stupidity got to me. Now I’m trying to get it back. I already got it reported but I gotta play the waiting game with them. So disregard the messages you may get from me.

https://faceofhorror.org/2023/gregory-shonhart

I’m sure a lot of you guys have seen me posting the crap out of a link to vote for me in the Face of Horror on Facebook , But I want to win not only to get to meet with Kane Hodder but also to hope that the prize money will help me and my partner to move out of Louisiana too, to where we’re desperate.

I don’t hate the place but where we’re at isn’t safe and the person (I’ll call him jerk-wad in this case) who did say he’d help us out, didn’t do jack squat but play games and eat edibles and didn’t bother to look for a job due to anxiety, and other stuff, then after another one of our friends left to live at a different place, Jerk-wad just said he was going back to his own parents!

He abandoned us to live with his parents, while Helix and I are far away from our own families! This is why I’m spreading the link about the contest, because if I won it, we can get out this state and back up north. I hate to beg, but please help me, vote nonstop for me to win the prizes. Even buy votes if you have to.

I’m sure I’ll be disqualified for trying to use the competition to get money, but we don’t feel safe in the place we’re at right now.

I don't know what I can say but my time in Louisiana is really taking it's tool on me... I can't get a full-time and I'm stuck with two part-time jobs. I hate Wendy's due to the shitty pay and even shitter workers. Pizza Hut is cutting hours nonstop due to business, my money has to get to my roommate for bills and rent making me barely have enough to pay for my own shit. I am literally crying myself to sleep. Now, I'm also losing my faith that Helix and I will ever get out of this place. We're trapped, we seriously NEED help, Helix and I have planned to move to Ohio thanks to a friend if he can help, but I'm scared we wont have enough to even move there, and the last time I tried a fundraiser, there wasn't a lot of people willing to donate and I'm scared if I try again it will be a failure again...please someone, anyone, PLEASE HELP US!!!! I am begging on my knees crying my heart out for help! ='(

So far I got a second job at Pizza Hut to help me get a-bit of extra money though the hours are small, I do appreciate the much happier atmosphere…better then nothing…though there’s always a bad on my end because I believe I was born with bad luck.

I have tried to go back to Walmart and I had three interviews from four different Walmart’s. (I’ll explain on why I said FOUR, so bear with me…) but throughout all of the interviews, not ONE of the stores accepted me for different reasons.

1. Walmart in Ambassador - Stock Worker- Interview went good but never got a word back from them.

2. Walmart in Pinhook - Never got a chance to call them back and when I did they never answered.

3. Walmart in Crowley - Deli Worker - they found someone else that was better

4. Walmart in Jennings -Online Shopper - They said “I couldn’t handle the job at all”

Like are you kidding me? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING?! I have had enough of this BS I have lost every ounce of my patience because of these stupid runarounds! All I want is to get my job at Walmart so I can get out of that hate filled toxic environment that is Wendy’s. I stayed at Wendy’s to make sure Helix is not alone when dealing with that hate-filled place. I feel like I am so close to death’s door with all the pressure I’m putting on myself…and I really want it to stop. I miss my home, I miss my family, I miss my full-time job, I. Just. Miss. EVERYTHING!!

I was promised that life would be better in Louisiana but no Helix and I got scammed badly, and are now left to rot in this state, even with those positives we DID have there it was overshadowed by a lot of the negative things.

Me and Helix were thinking of moving up back North to New Hampshire but we don’t have the money for a uhaul nor a place to live in once we move up there. When we tried to save, rent is stealing half of our paychecks and my Toyota Financal is still getting onto me about paying it, but my bills always take it away. I want to make a fundraising stream for Helix and I to move up there but of course Wendy’s always calls me in when I just want days off now all I get is ONLY ONE day off if at all, which is extremely rare for me to have that day off. Also, I know there be a lot of people that wouldn’t help strangers nor does the GoFundMe Page work either. But for those who have helped donate and spread the word, thank you for doing what you can, so please don’t be too hard on yourselves spreading it does help too. Sadly I doubt that GoFundMe Pages help out alot.

I missed the Autumn leaves, the quiet roads, the birds chirping in the forests, and the walk Helix and I had. But like I said I miss my family, friends, my job, my old life…I miss everything I had before moving out of my parents home and I took it for granted so damn badly…I wish I can go back and time and stop myself from falling for the promise of a better life down south…now I have no choice but to pay for it…

I beg for help when rarely I get that help I need and I feel like I’m at the end of my ropes in my life right now…I really don’t know what else to do and I don’t know any other solution for us…

So far it's not good at all, and now I am extremely desperate now for help, I am dead serious...

1. I tried to apply for a second job and so far NO luck at all I thought I was good with the Wal-Mart after I waited a year for my two coaching's removed, but I was told by the same Deli Manager that they found someone better which broke me inside. But I am still trying to get a job back into it because I felt like I belonged there.

2. I am close to having my car towed and in order to prevent from happening, I need to pay, $380.54 to stop it, luckily I get paid tomorrow but I won't have enough after I do that, so I am trying to keep pushing that I have a GoFundMe Page still. I know I shouldn't be bringing it up but I am, like I said, Desperate as all hell for as much help as I can get. To those who did Donate, thank you for helping.

LINK ---> https://gofund.me/9491c770 <--- LINK

I will keep pushing this if I have to to get help, I don't like doing it but I have no choice. I do plan on trying to stream PS4 Games on my days off to push on the GoFundMe Page Though I pray I don't get called in because some lazy as hell workers decided to be all like, "DuH! I rEaLlY dOn'T fEeL lIkE cOmInG iNtO wOrK tOdAy, sO i'M gOnNa cAlL iN! ROFL! LOL! LMFAO! LaUgH FaCe, WiNkIe Face!~". That actually happens to me with work all time and I am sick of it, and when I do come in, I get my ass chew on for no reason- Sorry went on a Wendy's rant...I'll save it for a different Journal...I got some PS4 Games I would like to play and stream to raise Money to help tackle my debt. I'm doing everything I can to promote and I don't know how to include the Link to the GoFundMe Page on the descriptions and I need help on that please.

Like right now I'm desperate for help financially. I am pouring my heart out right now for help, if there is anyone that can help me please, and I will thank you all in advance as best as I can.

On Sunday I am off (Praying I don't get called in due to a Lazy fucker's laziness) So I can try and Stream a PS4 Game for everyone to watch on either YouTube or Twitch. So I hope to see you all there, and I hope you can help me out.

Again the Link is here ---> https://gofund.me/9491c770

I wanna try and keep this short and simple, I am financially struggling...I mean I think we all are right? But for me, the part-time job I have is not helping me with my expensive and I am trying my hardest to get a better paying job as well as try to manage my bills I have. I'm behind on it and I'm trying to pray for a change in the job career. But I do need help with helping to keep my bills under control. I made a GoFundMe Page. I have tried to get improvement but there is no progress.

GoFundMe Page - https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-me-.....off-a-late-pay

I know the goal say's $500, but if I do get more than that it would be a miracle...

I don't like asking for help, but I don't know what else to do...I'm desperate for help...just ANY help please. ='(

And I’m sure you all know what that means…I’m gonna be another year older to my inevitable fate where I will die…unless they found the secret to immortality. Lol

Joking aside, I’ve been thinking a lot about my birthday and where I usually get “Happy Birthday” from all of you fluffs, I never really made a wishlist on what I wanted for my birthday have I? It sounds silly and selfish but I guess I could make one here just to get it out of the way.

~ My Wishlisht ~

1. An art of myself as a Pokémon trainer with a Torterra by my side.

2. An art piece of my human form as a Pokémon Trainer like a PNG file I can use as avatars for my thumbnails.

3. To hug all of you irl…because I need hugs badly.

Can you all tell I’m getting into Pokémon again?…help me.

Either way I welcome any form of gift arts really, as well as birthday wishes too. Thank you all advance, and I love you all so much!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43952242/

I hope to spread this out as best I can. He could use some help. Please go check the link above and consider helping him please and thank you!

Hello I wanted to let you know that my old Facebook account was hacked, Sadly I was too focused on trying to get it back, I forgot to make a journal to warn everyone, So I deeply apologize for that. Right now I am trying to get it back but I can't seem to have access to it and I really need help big time. :( I'm trying to get it back as best I can but I don't know what I am doing wrong and Facebook is so dain useless with their heavy bots reliance and it really annoying! Even makes me hates Bots in general. If there is a hacker that can help me for free (Since I have no space cash to offer due to my part-time job's BS) I seriously appreciate the help =(

Hello! …I have no idea what else to say after that one :p

Well, it’s time for another update journal for everyone, so who ready for that?

So good news I had to call Walmart to see if I can get a hiring manager. But of course I had to play the tag game to get an actual human being to answer and after working on a day off (f**k you Wendy’s) I was able to get to someone and they said they would let their bosses know about my application. Via texting them. Not the most professional way of communicating with the manager, but it’s better than nothing…I guess?

I tried to be patient with McDonald’s but I’m sorry, I couldn’t because they have a lot of issues and honestly working at Wendy’s is really taking a toll on my emotional state. I have nothing against the workers, but the environment is for a lack of a better term, is really toxic. I don’t wanna be around that kinda mindset, because I don’t wanna be toxic either!

I’m only praying that I get a job out of that poisonous work area. Wether it be at Walmart or McDonalds I don’t care. Heck I’ll work at both places if I can…that actually doesn’t sound like a good idea due to my mental state diminished. But either way I will pray for a miracle.

I will get this out of the way, it's going okay! Not the best situation but I'm still alive.

I am having some ups and downs, but overall I'm okay-ish if being extremely homesick.

~ UPS ~
I went to a few furmeets at a renaissance festival and a pirate festival and I had a lot of funs

Went to my very first convention called, "CyphaCon" at Lake Charles, Louisiana. Even though I had ZERO money I still had so much fun even meeting actual voice actors like Dani Chambers the voice of Chise from The Ancient Magus Bride! Now I really wanna get back into the series and even watch the anime of it! Maybe I can try and do some voice acting myself someday.

- DOWNS -

My mentality has been at it worse and I miss working at retail. I've been trying to take a job back at Wal-Mart so I can get a full-Time again. I miss working with putting items on the shelves after truck comes in. It allows me to relax and think myself.

My PS4 Pro is officially dead...I have tried to get it fixed but it died on me. So I had to get a new one through Affirm. though pay $37.71 for 24 months? I can make it work at least. I've done it twice off Walmart though it's my first time doing it via Amazon. I just gotta be sure I pay it off as best I can with it right?

And that's...kinda it. Relationship-wise, it's not perfect, but really relationships aren't suppose to perfect right? But were trying to make it work.

Living miles and miles away from my home without actual family is terrifying I'll admit that. Despite the homesickness along with the ups and downs, It's the life of an adult.

Hopefully I will make a journal with more of a lighter tone next time. But please wish me luck guys. I know I'm gonna need it.

https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdBdJnDC/

I’m sure it won’t be popular or anything but I figured I’d give this platform a try too. And I know I don’t sound confident in this app since a lot of people are popular or something…it sounds depressing I apologize. But please feel free to check it out if you want. <=)

I know he and I didn’t talk a whole lot but when I heard that he passed away, I couldn’t stop crying nor could I even sleep. 2022 keeps getting worse and worse and I really want this year to stop with all the bad things happening already.

It took me the longest to make this journal because as of making this, I’m in bed crying and wishing it was a bad dream, or it was just a prank, or something anything to help me sleep but nothing. I love you Bendor, and I’m gonna miss you so so much… *crys in bed*

We’ll I have very bad news…I will NOT be attending the college I wanted to take due to Mac PC requirements.

I was looking forward to attending First Institute since January of 2020, but I didn’t have the correct computer, so I got one thanks to my big brother.

Now that it was all set up I was ready to go when I got settled in my new place…but then I was told that I NEEDED a Mac computer to take the classes that I wanted. That was where I gave up because I don’t have the money for even a MacBook!

I know people will say, “But Shiron, you can do monthly payments!” I can but here’s the thing, I don’t have the money for even a monthly payment! I’m poor as heck and I am at my last wits with all of the hoop-jumping.

I felt like all of my dreams of video editing were just snatched away from me and then stomped on nonstop until there’s nothing left of it. I have officially hit my lowest point and I want all of my bad luck just to stop ruining everything.

I don’t know what the fate of my videos will be now that won’t attend school. Independence University is closed down and it will never come back, First Institute will only allow Macs into their schools, and I’m at a dead end.

I am so sorry I let you all down the people who supported me via YouTube and other things, my family, my friends, my boyfriend. I let you all down…I’m so sorry.

So far it has been a lot of ups and downs, and I figured I'd share it with you guys. First day in Louisiana was something, we looked around for jobs and One roommate got a job at Dollar Tree, then I had one at Subway until the girls there said to the their manager that I was too slow for them, and I will say this: ALL of the workers were girls and the manager there was the only guy working there and he chose to side with them over me who was still in training. So I still felt like there was a lot of favoritism for the girls. SO I tried to apply for unemployment but I was denied. But I did get a job at Wendy's but they haven't put me on the schedule at all yet and it has been 2 weeks so far and I am starting to lose my patience, but still hanging in there because I NEED this job if I wanna pay my bills...and I need to pay my bills. After I lost my Subway job I was really upset about it, but thankfully my boyfriend and everyone else got to an actual furmeet at a friend's house and I had a lot of fun, ands I needed it to help me get my mind off of the unfair BS I went through with a job I was starting to get a hang of too. If I could report it to higher-ups about this I would. Money-Wise, were trying scrape by with what we have and praying that we can get by. It was so bad, I missed a car payment, but at least the company is forgiving of me. (Thank you Car Insurance People!) I won't ask or demand help because you all have been really helpful with many other ways Thank you for that by the way, If you wanna help more, it's always welcomed.

As it stands art-wise and video-wise.

Art - I have been drawing again, and I drew a lot of Gunblades inspired by, Final Fantasy 8's Gunblade Weapon. I made about 120 of them, and made only 2 proper human artworks and a prototype Concept Art. It's not great but I'm okay with it. I wanna personally try to apply color them digitally then I do with colored pencils I have. But I'm sure I'm going to need a proper drawing tablet and some training with it too.

Videos - I don't wanna say I lost my passion for it, but I could never get the proper training in and I never got a chance to get my PC up yet until 2 days ago and I'm trying to get everything situated. Now I just hope I can get a job situated and my school started soon...I'm so tired of all the waiting and all the crap happening to me.

I hope that cleared up everything and I apologize for not saying anything earlier.

Well my luck really went down in the gutters…

Yesterday was suppose to be our last day in Missouri before we left for Louisiana state, but a post I made of Facebook went from simple to all out hell and drama stressing us both out.

To make matters even worse, we got into a car accident and now I have no car at all. So now I have no job, no car, no moving truck, no family support, Absolutely Nothing… I don’t know what else I can do and I’m at my lowest point.

I need serious help now but I have no means of getting any access to more money or a car. I really scared and I don’t wanna be homeless or anything.

I don’t have a gofundme page made for it but I doubt it will help at all, so I don’t really know what else I can do…

One month later and things haven’t been getting better.

We’re still paying $270 weekly to stay at the motel and a lot is happening to me so fast.

1. Helix lost his job for no reason whatsoever.

2. Walmart is starting to abuse me hardcore and got a second coaching for “being lazy and not doing my job” but they neglected to train me.

3. I’m working two jobs to support me and helix at this point, and it’s stressful that I’m working at my second job and trying to keep my Walmart job so I can pay my car payment and other bills I have.

I am seriously running out of steam and about to turn to drinking or smoking at this rate...and I don’t want to do that or both. I’m hoping to try and talk to Walmart to see if I can balance the job and my second job and I hope to try and get days off to hopefully rest up. I personally miss working in the toy area because I wasn’t treated like a meathead and I was able to focus. But I’m also hoping I can ask if theirs a way for me to get rid of the two coaches they forced on me, because I wanna transfer really badly to be closer to where I live so I can save on gas, time, money, and more importantly, patience.

But since it’s not working out like I hoped, helix, Devick, and myself all think we should move to Louisiana State and live there with Baron and Corey. consequences be damned. I’ve stressed myself out too much and it’s killing me so badly that I am stressed out to the core to where I’m stress drinking soda which can’t be healthy at all. And I know the three of us really really need help to pull it off. I still have my GoFundMe Page and I hope we can get the help we severely need guys, I also have a Ko-Fi and a PayPal you all can donate too. But if you all wanna help helix he has a Patreon page I think, if he does he’s free to share it in the comments, I’m sure he has more too but either way we really hope we can the help we need, but I recommend helping Helix first, he need the love and support more then I do for now. I pray it gets better and I really want that to happen, but the world itself isn’t so kind.

Good News: Helix and I are finally living together irl with the help of Devick (I don’t remember their usernames because I am SO tired)

Bad News...

1. I wasn’t accepted to transfer to the Hannibal, MO Walmart cause they aren’t hiring anyone else. But I’m gonna try again later hopefully.

2. I am financially broke from the long trip of pain and nightmare...with gas, toll roads, and many other things, I am completely broke, so I have to swallow my pride again, and ask for financial help for me and helix. Not to mention I have bills to pay too.

1. Car Insurance $129.03
2. Car Loan $339.79
3. Rent for the stay $270 a week

So in total, it would be, $738.82 I’m in desperate need of help financially so if you guys can help, I’ll be eternally grateful and I can try to get myself back on my feet again.

Thank you and I hope you are safe.

I wanted to make a follow up to the journal I made down below.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9833852/

First of all, thank you all for your love and support, but I also owe you all an apology for not opening up about this feeling I’ve have. I am personally sorry for not telling you all, I was afraid my plea for help would fall on deaf ears and people would be thinking I’m overdramatic, but I’m also worried that people will take everything I said in the video and twist it to make me sound like the bad guy or worse sharing it to my mom, and I would get in deeper shit, I mean I really don’t want this to be all over social media or even on TV...that would be too much for me to bare. But instead l, I got the opposite reaction and it really made me feel like I was finally heard for the first time in a very long time. You all are better at listening, supporting, understanding way more then my actual family, in a way, I consider you all my real family.

And here is another thing I forgot to do, deleting the GoFundMe page I made to help me move to New Hampshire... I don’t know if anyone would want to help me or not, if you want to you can. Spreading the word and this journal helps out too.

GoFundMe - https://gofund.me/49dbcead

If you choose to donate to help me, I personally want to thank you all in advance. But if you spread the word, that helps out too. Either way you do it, I wanna personally thank you and I love you all so much.

- The Bad News -

I will not be moving to New Hampshire...me and a few of my roommates were all looking for places there but they were so expensive and so we decided to move to Louisiana state. I was able to tell my family but when I finally told my mom and stepdad...they instantly got mad and told me “No!” and calling me a liar all along, even when I told them it was the last minute thing. But they forced me that I will stay or else they would beat me. And then my boyfriend and one of my roommates got on a call and defended me and had my back telling her off. But they were still dead set finding a placing for me here and I had no say in it.

I will be completely honest with you all, I do not like my mom personally, I’m even really scared of her. She’s always lectured me when I do something like form an opinion about her and her toxic attitude even when I don’t give her the answer she wanted, she even told me never to defend myself or get mad at her at all and used all the thing she’s done for me as a way to guilt trip me into giving in, even when I had a reason to be mad at her, and one time she told me to hold my tongue and threatened to beat the shit out of me when I told her I was mad. Not to mention she told my boyfriend and my roommate off for having my back.

I don’t know if my mom is extremely abusive to me or I’m just too sensitive about it, I’ll let you all decide. But I did try my hardest to love my mom because she’s family...but if she is family why does she feel like she HAS to control me. She even talked bad shit behind my boyfriend’s back, after everything nice she said to him. I can’t forgive my mom for hurting the people I love here, and I will never forgive her for that, no matter what people say about it.

- Good News -
However I do have a bit of good news. My and a friend went to Quincy and found an amazing place, and so we tried to sign up to hopefully apply to rent a house for a year, and then when it’s done, I’ll move down to Louisiana State and hopefully I’ll be far far away from her.

I don't like doing stuff like this, but I thought I wanted to remind you all that I made a GoFundMe Page to help me and my Boyfriend move in together.

LINK - https://www.gofundme.com/f/moving-i.....cp+share-sheet

I'm not one for trying to share stuff like this, but I feel I should try again since I will end the page before the last week of March. For those who do choose to donate or help spread the word it would mean a whole lot to me and Helix. =)

In the meantime I will try to stream any PS4 game I have in my procession when my Internet isn't being a pain in the butt it work with (Never rely on Satellite Internet for streaming) And I do my best to spread the word about it too!

GoFundMe Page - https://www.gofundme.com/f/moving-i.....f+share-flow-1

After a long time of talking about where we could move to, we decided the New Hampshire will be our home and so finally I made a GoFundMe Page and it was my first time making the page personally and it really makes extremely nervous because I am leaving Illinois and without my parents with me. So I'm literally moving out on my own and with my boyfriend too to start my new life there. If anyone donates, I wanna thank you all from the bottom of our hearts. <=)

From the 21st to the 25th of October, I finally had the courage to go outside of Illinois all by myself to see the love of my life,  wolfcoin009, and while I was there, my eyes were exposed to the beauty of what New Hampshire and I felt a deeper connection with Helix then I have ever had when he visited me. The stay sadly wasn't as long as when Helix stayed, since I stayed for 4 and half days...I think. But just like with my previous journal, I will do my best to remember what happened during the stay.

October 21st - The day was the day I started my adventure to New Hampshire, and just for the fun of it, I made posts on Facebook page on my journey to the airport and to New Hampshire. When I drove to the airport all by myself in my Kia Soul since my Ford Focus finally died, and finding the parking spot was a bit easy since I had to go pretty far. But getting in the terminal was tricky since I had some electronics and I had to unpack my stuff which was a hassle to do pack it back up again. (I brought my Xbox One, Controllers, Wires, XboxOne/Xbox360 Games, my Laptop, and my DVD Set of Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra. Sadly we were never able to play with the Xbox One or watch the DVDs, sorry hunny!) After packing up my stuff again I checked out my Facebook only to see my uncle, telling me "I wasn't going to do this!" but my Step-Dad stood up for me and said I was flying to New Hampshire and not driving there...Though if I did drive all the way to New Hampshire, I don't think the Kia would handle a very long drive. But back on topic While I was flying I was nervous because I rarely flew and if you seen "Final Destination" The fear of the plane blowing up was something that always crept up in my mind...a lot. But I made to Omaha for a stop but finally flew up to Chicago (Midway) and waited for the plane to Manchester to arrive, and when it did, I felt my heart race, my hands were sweating and shaking, and I felt like I was gonna either throw up and pee myself, but when I finally made it I was waiting for Helix to pop in, and take me away, I decided to take pictures of the place. Then I heard clapping and I saw Helix and I hugged him and just couldn't stop hugging him for a long time, but we had to go because his cousin was waiting us. So we hopping in the car and we went to his house where I got to meet his friend, Nicki I think that was her name if it's not I apologize for the mess up! But we got to play some PS4 games, then we finally went to sleep in his room.

October 22nd - After we got some sleep, we decided to go out and walk around the town and what I saw was how beautiful New Hampshire looks in Fall. I was like a kid in a candy store because of how beautiful it was, with the color of the leaves and how they fall from the trees. While we were walking we went on a date at a pizzeria eating pizza and dessert when I showed Helix I could tie a cherry stem into a knot with only my mouth like in the scene from "RV". After our date, we got some soda and we walked back home but took the scenic route instead, It was a longer walk but I got to see more of nature itself and eyes were blessed, but our feet were sore as heck...worth it X3 When we got home, we watch some YouTube like some classic cartoons from the 1920's and so on which was nice and relaxing. Also I was able to meet his family, they were, odd to say the lease but they were still like a family that always picked on each other like how all families do.

October 23rd - We took some time before we went out because there was fighting going on...I think, but after that we planned on going out and I was curious about his fursuits and I asked if I could try a head on, with his approval, I tried on his Helix head, and while it was hot it was really nice to actually try on an fursuit head since I never owned one at all. But after goofing off, We went downstairs later and walked over to the gas station and we tried out their chicken tenders and on my god they were huge in my hands and they were so good! <3 After that, We took the long way back and I felt that I was taken to a realm where Fall was the dominant season The trees were tall, the mountain view was breath-taking, and the colors of the leaves were like a painted masterpiece! But when we reached home we decided to play Crash N. Sane Trilogy where we took turns playing, then my life changed when Helix wore a full fursuit of Hockey for and I felt like my life was complete as I got to what t was like to see some some wearing an actual fursuit! He even let me get to brush it which was so cool, I even got some pictures of my and Helix in his suit, I'll be sure to upload the picture later and use it as an ID for here. Thank you Helix for letting me see you in a fursuit, it really meant alot to me and it makes me want to get my own!

October 24th - For this day in general, we actually went to the same pizzeria only this time, we got to eat pasta and I paid for it after getting it fixed, I had an issue with my debit card and I couldn't buy anything, and I was able to fix it and buy dinner this time. When we got home We got to play games and plan on where we can live together, it's been a hard choice and I'll save what I wanna do later in the journal. I know there isn't much we did, but I was also getting ready to head home tomorrow, and the more I was thinking about it, the more depressing it got for me.

October 25th - Today was the day I had to go home and I sadly had to leave in 7am, while I was riding to the airport, I was holding Helix close to me and then we made it to the airport and we said our goodbyes and we went our separate ways. Helix went helix and I went on my plane ride back to home, and all the while I was holding in my tears and crying while I was flying back home. Saying "goodbye" a second time is even worse because you don't when you'll see each other again, and I feel my whole heart was left behind in New Hampshire and with Helix himself. When I was done with the plane ride, I was able to drive home with direction issues but I got home safely and I laid in bed and went to sleep, still missing Helix and New Hampshire.

For me, I was really thinking of moving to Missouri or to New Hampshire. For me I would love to move to New Hampshire and if I get homesick I could choose to move back to Missouri, or find a place in Missouri and offer Helix a place to stay with me, for me, I'm not sure what to do, but what I do know is that the love I feel for Helix is real and I am glad that I got see him and I hope to see him again and hopefully for longer.