is my new account.
all content moved to scraps.

come find me there, please!

New account is  lordmaxmos

i wont be on here anymore. everything will slowly move over to that account and i will eventually delete this one.

love you all and thanks for following me if you do.

<3

Alright so. I have a twitter and instagram and also a new profile on here i am working on. On here ill be and on instagram im lordmaxmos. Same with tumblr and twitter. So yeah

Add me on there. I use them more than anything.

I had a shitty 2014. Starting my life over now, pretty much. 2015 will be the year I turn shit around.

Going to Ohayocon, Colossalcon, Anthrocon and Youmacon.
Got a roomate who is amazing.
Became single as fuck.
Got my meds all sorted out.
Family is chill with my gender identity.
Started working on my fursuit.
UHG! Like.

Im so ready for this year to pick up speed. I'm excited.

For now, I am going to smoke a bowl, do some laundry, listen to some trance music and play some Pokemon. Amazing day to have a chill day. I wish it was snowing still, but hey, 4 outta 5 aint bad. Haha.

How have you guys all been? You know I dont have the balls to message you all first.

Working on getting more stuff online now. Just have to take pictures of stuff. But yeah.

I also have a new Fetlife. So theres that. If you want it, message me. I hate talking to new people on there. Too many fuckboys right off the bat. But whatever.

Also got a new tablet. Hopefully Amazon actually ships it this TIME! We will see. SO i hope I can start drawing. Swiggity.

Whats going on you guys? I feel so dead on here.

Okay. So. I need a decent tablet. Like. I want to draw on a one but I don't know which one is best for like starting out.

I need cheap and decent. I'm not looking for a fancy and expensive tablet or anything. Just something to start off with.

I've been researching a little but I'm also asking opinions. There was like this Bamboo one I saw. I have it bookmarked. Not too shabby looking.

But like I said. any suggestions? I really want to get back into drawing.

Thank you, Bun! ILY!

But I am alive.

Hei Guise!

posting from my ds. powercord went to shit. at least i hope its only that. hurp. but yeah. no skype. no nothing right now unless you have my number. sorry everyone

Y'all need to talk to me more because I'm introverted and it's physically painful to start up a conversation with anyone.

Yeah. Making yet ANOTHER new page. 3rd one so far. But yah. Ill keep you guys posted with where Im going.

New life, New page. New fandoms. New props. New life.
I just woke up one morning and yeah. Decided.

Fuck it.

I'm so excited like.
DAMN.
So...fucking...close....

All but like 3.
I look like a sack of beets.
Why did no one tell me I looked a hot mess?

Ah well. Whats going on?
I need to get active here again.

And I will be.
What, with me having no job as oF TODAY JFC!

Yeah.

Got him.

For my fursuit for my new-ish sona.

I just have no refs online right now but hopefully Ill get em up before I make the suit! Oh well. Im excite!

You hate Homestuck. Good for you. You wanna stop bothering me about it? That would be pretty cool. Thanks.

Pretty much in my hotel room now. Probs be in here for a while.

Awesome. Awesome.

update from my ps vita. ill be at anthrocon. allll weekend.
i have no internet rigt now so this is a pain. but yeah.
lemme know if ill see you there. lets hang guys.

To move the fuck on with my life.
Im excited to be alone again. Excited to date again. Excited for asshead mcfuckface to be moving the hell out of my house after anthrocon.

Im just so pleased. Im going to party it up at AC probably. Maybe. I dunno. I never really do but I have one hell of an urge to!

My body is ready. Yall should be too!

Have developed Physical, Romantic and Sexual attraction for someone.


Shit.

Like damn son, so alive.

Last couple months have been hectic as heckie. Working on moving Jess out, starting therapy, getting ready for cons, I bough a fucking snake...and I love him...

But yes I am alive and going to Colossalcon and Anthrocon and now PLANNING YOUMACON AGAIN and I am so excited to give it another chance.

But Colossalcon is a week away and I am so gosh golly darned excited.

Ive also started on my fursuit. It sadly wont be ready for AC this yeah, but maybe next!

Also thinking of moving to TN. Any thoughts?

Completely fucking done.

I got asked out on a date today and I was all like 'Oh, Aw, No sorry I cant.'

And like ten minutes later I was mentally screaming 'Wait! Wait! Yes I can! Come back please. Oh my god you were fucking cute.'


Still mentally bitch slapping myself.

Not every day you meet a non-creeper around here.

And they liked my hair and snakebites.

I am so mad.

Like,

Wveh,

I just need to type this somewhere.

But I had a dream where we(me and some friends n junk) were trapped in a mall-like underground setting. Like DEEP underground. It had living quarters and shops and was pretty much like an underground city.

Well it was under attack by people from the surface for reasons i really didnt know of. nobody did. But the people attacking from the surface were white bat-like people. Like grey-ish white-ish things that looked like Winged Twilights from Morrowind, but more batlike.

Anyways, we were trying to escape and fight them off and it wasnt going too bad, but then we found tunnels and elevators that led upwards toward the surface. we knew we had to go up them, so we did. it was almost like going back through maitenance tunnels and up hotel staircases, some places even seemed like parking garages. cars and all. but nobody knew what they were. all run down and abandoned.

but we got up to a new level, it wasnt the surface, but it was closer, the air was easier to breath i know that. there was so much fire and chaos, the bat things running around and killing off the last of the humans there. but there were a few people left, fighting off the creatures. one was a woman. she had long, chestnut colored hair. it was perfectly straight. She had a side part, bangs swooped over. her face was round and chubby. eyes were green. freckles. her skin was fair and smooth. her body type was athletic. she wore a red v-neck t shirt and flared blue jeans with black boots on. she was punching these things.

i got closer and saw she wasnt punching, she had an arm like theirs. completely white with long claws, spikes of some kind coming out of the wrist. her hits were killing them instantly. she saw us and her arm went back to normal. she asked us where we came from, we said down lower underground. she looked scared, surprised there were more places.like this. she was from the surface.

we made our way through some tunnels. and through this new area. me and her really bonded and got close. she saved me multiple times. we finally got to the lifts to the surface. they were being guarded, many people surrounding them, trying to get up. nobody was being allowed up. she pulled me to the front, her arm changing into the bat like one. the other one holding my hand tight. she killed the men guarding the lifts and pulled me onto one, other people quickly getting on in a panic. i lost her. the lift started to raise. i couldnt find her still. i panicked.

more bat things attacked, i killed a few, but they had killed many on the lifts. once we got to the top, everyone got off. we were in a large building like thing. every door looking to the outside was gated and/or sealed. everyone panicked and started screaming. i found two of my friends. but i couldnt find her. finally the gates opened, the people ran out. everything on the surface was either destroyed or run down, the sky was black with smog and smoke. the air underground was actually easier to breathe.

i didnt run out, i looked for her. i found her in a small room, holding a lever back, it was the door lever. she was waiting for me to get out so she could let go and let the doors close again. these bat things were the only thing that could open these gates and she could too with her arm. i didnt want to leave her. i was scared. she told me she could get out later and i believed her.


so i left and the gates closed. she came to them a while later and told me she had lied. she just wanted me out safely. she broke the switch so the creatures were trapped underground with her. i cried. a lot. she told me she loved me. i loved her, too. she told me where she was from, where i could go and live and be safe. start a new life and help rebuild the world. i didnt want to go, but the creatures were coming and she didnt want me to see.

i ran from there. i never looked back. i found my teo friends and took them with me to where she had said. it was far, but we made it. i lived there with them and thought of her every day.

i woke up crying.

So this journal is a bit of a...rant? But not really. Just a bit of an insight for myself. Something to read and remind me that I have shit to do.

So pretty much, since me and Jesse broke up, I've done some thinking. He's going on with his dreams, so I should go along with mine, yeah? YEAH!

So I will. And that requires me leaving this place. Old memories and old life need to be said 'good bye' to. I need to move up and move on. Do what I want to do and go where I want to go.

But where to start? What do I want to do? Where do I want to go? Those are good questions.

I know what I want to do. Either be a fursuit maker, be in the sex industry, or be a voice actor. These are dream jobs for me in the most serious way. Especially the sex industry. I don't want to be a performer, I want to work with toys, lubricants and things of that nature, as odd as it sounds. I've always been interested in that sort of thing. I am surprisingly knowledgeable when it comes to toys and such, so a job where I could put them to use is ideal for me.

I also want to live in a few places. Pittsburgh. My whole family is either from there or lived there at some point and gosh DARN do I love it there. I wouldn't mind living there or anywhere in PA around that area. I feel connected, as silly as it sounds. Also wouldn't mind Maine or South Dakota. Both of those places are pretty and I love em!

Also as for some hella info into my personal life, thought I should tell you all I'm trans. I want to work on getting testosterone going and continue with my therapy and such. But yes, something that some of you should know.

Trying to get on with my life and feel free and now that I'm planning all this I am more than excited and ready and, for once in my life, excited on where all this will take me.

The only thing is, I'm scared to be alone. Like always having Jesse there was something I guess I depended on. And now I'll be alone and on my own. It's not even the fact that he was my boyfriend, it was the fact that he was someone I could trust and be with. Now I'll have nobody again and it's a bit scary, but I think I will manage. I have to, right? RIGHT!

So any kind of moral support would be helpful. Advice, too. That is MORE than helpful. But thanks for reading if you did.

It was getting depressing.
Ah well.

I am such a hot Dave Strider.
Just putting that out there.

After 3 years, Me and Jesse have had the single most mutual break up and we are still Bros, yo.

Like Never have I had a more awesome breakup. I actually feel better. We both do.
Still great friends. Still hella.

Hella single.

All the single ladies. All the single ladies. All the single ladies.