hello hello hello!! it's been a couple years, but i'm dipping my toes back into the petri dish of furaffinity just to see what's up lol.

i'm still drawing, i'm mostly active on twitter these days at jacqal_art and jacqal_alt (for saucier stuff)
if you wanna follow my latest escapedes on here, i've just set up a new profile over at  jacqal. no promises on how that's gonna pan out or anything, it's just what i'm up to right now.

i hope you're all faring ok in these weird times, it is hard as hell to be alive some days no matter who you are. much love to anyone who clicked through and read this journal ♥

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i assumed that this site would make accounts 'unwatch' you when you block them, like virtually every other website on the internet, but apparently thats not the case. if theyre already watching you, they still get notifications for everything only they cant comment or fav anymore. which is better than nothing i guess but jesus, what a pathetic system..
anyway, after i made the last journal i gained a few more lovable nazis! ive blocked them, even though i apparently might as well not bother for all it does lmao.

how do you guys put up with this shit? its so fucking annoying. i know theres nothing they can do beyond making their other nazi friends hate me (which is.. the opposite of a problem) but god, its like. 'woopee! time to post my art on furaffinity, my special website where i show my art to all my special special nazi watchers whom i love and cherish!'

christ.. grow up

IF THIS IS YOU, UNWATCH ME IMMEDIATELY.

i've just blocked someone whos profile was prefaced in red with 'I support and encourage freedom of ALL speech and ALL opinions'. i'm not stupid. i can read between the lines and i know what you really mean by this. when people know that they will get backlash for voicing their true thoughts, they mince their words and use extremely vague statements like this to make themselves sound reasonable.
then when someone sees through it, they play dumb and try to act as though the other person is the real villain for opposing... "free speech"... like, come on. yeah, you're right, i'm just an evil ogre in a dungeon making it my business to stifle the voices of innocent civilians. my name is Trog, by the way.

just to be clear, no i am not interested in hearing any 'counter-arguments' about this. my stance is clear:
i dont think nazis are good. i dont think ethnic cleansing is an idea that should be revisited, even as a hypothetical.

thats all. thats my whole opinion about this. it is a very common perspective, and isnt considered 'extremist', 'far-left', or 'violent' by any standard... although, we did have an entire war in which people who violently fought nazism were/are generally known to be the good guys.

NAZIS: i have no obligation to entertain you. my art is not a business, and even if it were i wouldnt associate with any of you if my life depended on it (and dont worry, it wont). if i sound like a bitch right now, think of it this way: we are all lucky enough to see the work of thousands of artists all around the world, for free, because they CHOOSE to share it. it is a gift, and one that we are fully within reason to retract at any time, for whatever reason. if my reason is 'you are, against all odds, a nazi'... well. you can see yourself out.

if anyone has something like a list of known nazis on here, please share it with me! if anything like that exists it would really save me a lot of time <3

ive always been really jumpy with names (including my real, actual name lmao thank god ive finally got that settled) and i just......dont know what the fuck to call myself online. im so annoyed cos by now if id just stuck with the account before this one (gunge - i last used it when i was 16 so Please dont judge me too much if you check it out lmao,,) itd probably be my definitive internet alias by now or something x__x

i did recently try and push the name 'jacqal', but as it turns out its apparently really hard to remember the spelling.. which feels like a bit of a serious loophole for an online moniker. so now my art blog is just 'haveyouseenthisdog' mostly because i found it funny but im just.......so frustrated

so how did you come up with your thing!!! did you have to particularly think about it at all? or did it just become memorable by itself? i feel like im overthinking this WAY too much but i just....cannot do it apparently LOL

(weird symbols just to draw attention lol)

its been a while since i was really active wrt commissions/trades/etc but just checking, DO i owe anyone anything?

id like to start being a bit more interactive and from here on out im gonna have a proper system instead of just hoping i remember! ON THAT NOTE hit me up if youd be interested in an art trade or anything! just know that i might be a bit slow with it, so youre welcome to take your time too :D

like i know this is totally unnecessary and none of my business but omg?? ive had 2 other accounts between 2008 and now and even that feels like littering somehow.. it feels soo messy i cant imagine just moving accounts out of boredom! i mean this account name has nothing to do with any of my online aliases at all now, but i still feel obliged to use it because 370 people recognize it at least.

idk i know its probably not..universal to be this nervous about leaving 'crumbs' online. but theres a lot of info out there about my past that i KNOW is out there but its so thoroughly scattered that ill never find it, i cant imagine adding to that pile.. do yall keep lists of your old accounts and aliases or what?? aaaaahhhhhh whos keeping track of all these peoples stuff!! :,(

i hardly ever receive comments on my work which i barely ever post anyway buuut just as a preventative measure...
if you're into the kind of shit that involves the terms 'cboy', 'dickgirl', 'herm' or 'futa', consider that i didn't survive this long so that people could refer to me as a genital.
this isn't an invitation for anyone to explain why i shouldn't be offended or how you're trans and fine with it!!! comments are disabled, but if you have any genuine questions you are welcome to DM me and see if i have an answer. but i can tell when people are just wasting my time and i'm not going to humor it, i'll just block you.

this kind of psa went REALLY south for me on my previous account so just a disclaimer:

- i'm not a free well of information; i don't owe anyone a typed up in-depth explanation for my feelings (there's a million out there already, just look it up) in order to feel them.
- i'm NOT trying to start drama. i'm actively trying to avoid it. i'm allowed to have my own personal reservations about who gets to see my art and when it comes to bigots, i would be well within my rights to be WAY more aggressive than i am right now. seriously, just because i'm acting cordially here doesn't mean i have any tolerance for this kind of behavior.



on that note, also take this as your queue to leave if you're the kind of person who is so disconnected from reality that they think content involving pedophilia, rape and BEING A NAZI are ok/that the only people affected or upset by them are 'sjws'.
i have no idea how you reached this conclusion, but NORMAL people hate those things. because they are BAD things. i don't know where you got the idea that it's just teenagers with dyed hair or whatever, but just go outside and talk to people more. jesus.

feels VERY good to not have 'teen' in my age anymore!! my gf gave me a salt lamp and let me go wild in spotlight with her money lol. i bought a fuckload of beads and a huge container to sort them into (which me and my flatmates did All Night Long)

my other thought was, i know i dont upload tons on here which im trying to rectify BUT. would anyone be interested in me explaining anything i do? or even if its not a Big Thing id love to trade some tips. or not really trade. trade tips in exchange for your continuing patience and appreciation. you know how it is.

i'm starting to notice more people signing off their art by overlaying a pre-made signature or logo - is this a good way to go? the last time i did that i felt a bit silly for it because i was 12, but now i guess i could have another go at it.

do you just have one file with different kinds of logos and website handles on it, and kinda pick out the ones you wanna use for each picture? there's so much i've never really considered wrt these things lmao

idk if its a ritalin thing or what, but BOY the last few days have been.....fuckin weird. the first few days on ritz were really good and productive, and idk if its just cos i was excited and it just faded or what. but the last few days ive barely been able to leave my room.. and with the lowered appetite im just . forgetting to eat. yesterday i didnt eat ANYTHING until my gf came home and asked if i'd had dinner, which was when i realized and kinda forced some food down...but GEEZ its kinda upsetting for someone who is usually obsessed with food and eating LOL

IN ADDITION TO THAT, anyone who follows me on places where i go and scream every day know that i've actually been in a pretty tolerable place mentally the past couple of years. but the other day i just suddenly had the most INTENSE and horrid dissociation that ive had in like..well i guess 2 years. 2 days straight of just panic and feeling like i dont recognise the people in my house. idk i emailed my ADD doctor and he seemed pretty unphazed and just told me to get back to him in a week if it's still happening. but GEEZ!!!????

ughh this has become one chunky ass journal but i just wanted to let yall know where im at. people make journals like that right? anyway im probably gonna spend another day aimlessly hyperfocusing on pointless tasks so ill see you on the flipside *__*

i neglected to let anyone know but i joined in on my first multistream last night!! it was my first time streaming in ages and i really wanna do it again sometime - i cant super duper guarantee that it'll happen today (it's 1.30 PM where i am, ftr) but i'd really like to!!!! ;.;

if i do, i'll definitely post a journal this time and i'd love to take some more PWYW's if anyone's interested in that!! normal commissions too, if that tickles anyone's fancy.



anyway i'm probably gonna go shopping with my gf for cosplay supplies now, so wish me luck!!!

soooooo turns out i had adhd this whole time which is why i find it so hard to finish things or come back to long term projects.. just took my first ritz and im hoping things change for the better lol,, i have tons of art i really wanna finish so if this goes well youll probs be seeing some of that soon!!!!!

hmm in terms of what else this means, im not sure yet! but if things go super well and im able to put art out at the same rate i used to, maybe ill more confidently open for commissions. and aside from art, maybe ill finally be able to go back into education and like..learn to study for the first time in my life lol. idk its just freaky how many possibilities this has opened up that id previously assumed were down to me being a shit-quality person? who knows. ill keep you updated on how it goes.

• What is the name of your fursona?
✩ Jacquel
★ Cyan

• Where did the name of your Fursona come from?
✩ was looking for other names for myself starting with J, found this shortened form of Jacqueline and was like wow
★ just his theme colour and it kinda sounds like a name lol

• What species is your fursona and why did you choose that species?
✩ dog/golden jackal hybrid - icr why exactly i just relate to dogs
★ savannah cat, which is a serval crossed with a cat! because HOW COOL IS THAT

• What color is your fursona and why? Hair/fur/eye/ect
✩ just brown all over cos i wanted something naturalistic and simple. their eyes are either the same as mine or fully golden because that looks sick..havent decided yet *__*
★ just like savannah cat colours? a little bit simpler and paler. cyan eyes cozzzz uhhhh theyre cool lol

• What is your fursona's personality and how does this compare to your RL personality?
✩ me but just more cartoonish/exagerated i guess - tired anxious rough n tumble twink
★ also a rough n tumble twink but more mischievous. basically a little gay imp

• What is one item your fursona owns that is significant to you in RL?
✩ idk jacquel is kinda just fully my self insert sooo all of it i guess
★ still dont know what 'significant' means??/?? glasses..??

• What is one thing you think you would say to your fursona if you could meet?
✩ whats up
★ HEY BITCH!!!!

• What is one thing your fursona would say to you if you could meet?
✩ hey
★ SHUT UP!!!!

• How has your fursona changed over the years?
✩ she hasnt been around that long LOL but i guess just less femme????
★ no hes a BABY fursona like hes still happening

• How long have you had this fursona?
✩ since mid last year :,)
★ end of last year..

• Would you like to be more like your fursona?
✩ eh this is kinda redundant bc they are me, im wondering if this isnt a very good fursona
★ yea tbh he doesnt hate himself!!!!

ANYONE DO THIS and link me i wanna see!!!!

i know this is a very exclusive offer, but it's been a while since i took commissions and im in a dedicated relationship with my anxiety disorder :,)
anyway, the long and short of it is im gonna start with taking 2 commissions at a time and hopefully build myself up to taking more! if ive ever commented on your work before or we follow each other, id LOVE to do a commission for you, and ill do it for 2/3 my normal price!!!!! normal prices and examples are found here.
SO without further ado!

SKETCH: $10 bust --- $13.30 fullbody --- $33.30 A4 page with ~3 busts and ~2 fulls
COLOUR: $16.60 bust --- $26.60 fullbody
id also be interested in doing icons, coloured and/or transparent for $5!

SLOTS:
1)  zwijgen
2) empty!

just comment or note me if youre interested, include what youd like and any reference pics, and ill do a little jig and draw that baby UP!!
P.S. nsfw is a-ok!

back and fuller than ever!!!! im working on a ref sheet for a character of  ausgoth​‘s gemsnatcher species that i never finished. it has nudity but it’s not like a sexy pic or anything.
anyway so im just listening to music and drawing. id love if anyone dropped by again, and if you missed it before i went to dinner (lmao) then nows your chance!!

★ https://picarto.tv/jacqal ★

after going thru gunge's old pics for his ref sheet i remembered the time i had like 80 ocs, where the fuck are they?? bring them BACK
there's a tiny bit of nudity in one of the pics i found for reference, but it's gonna be a sfw stream! id love if you dropped by im gotdamn bored lol

★ https://picarto.tv/jacqal ★

sooooooooo ive been on fluoxetine for like...... idk 3 years? and every time ive tried to go off it all hell has broken loose. but 3 weeks or so ago i just..ran out and couldnt be bothered getting more bc i currently dont have a doctor. so like, went off cold turkey, and im doing really well somehow? like im finding it way easier to comment and interact w people online, my mood is better, dare i say im less anxious..

its super weird but so nice to know with some element of certainty that. this is my personality. like im not being altered by some magic serotonin pills or whatever. and im actually friendly and pleasant. its good

here!

I reblogged the post obviously, but my nsfw art blog just aint very popular so I didn't get any prompts :((((( Utterly Unconscionable
I'm not taking requests of strangers' ocs, but my ocs or existing characters are go! I don't really know shitall about anime or anything though ironically so I can't promise a lot in that area.

Feel free to comment or send an ask on there!! I'd love to have some stuff to work on that I know someone's going to enjoy.

turns out i have fuckin ADD!!!!! and that im probs not even autistic in the first plaaaace soooooo thats INTERESTING considering i got diagnosed with ASD when i was 3 years old. LOL
idk its just so weird having to readjust all of my memories thru this lens now. like it all makes more sense but christ what an undertaking
i also dont know why im posting this here but im just trying to be more active on here so w/e

i was about to stream but picarto is down LOL.. cool thx thats awesome!!

fuck me i typed up a whole thing here but fa just gobbled it the fuck up!!!!!!

ughhhhh anyway. BASICALLY: good news! as you can probably tell from the upped content 2017 is inexplicably working some real life magic on me, my heart is light my skin is fresh and my mind is inspired and full of pictures of animal penis and stuff. ive also done some work on my profile, to make it actually have useful information and all that. which brings me to my next point -

im now open for trades!! no guarantee ill accept it obviously, but i probably will, mood allowing. i LOVE doing gifts for people and i LOVE getting gifts from people, so if i look at trades as more of a non-secret santa than an exchange of goods and services then theyre very appealing to me! which, again, brings me to my NEXT point -
my commissions are now a bit more closed. ive just started seeing a new therapist (woohoo) and it was VERY relieving to hear that im apparently suffering from burnout and existential shame, rather than just being lazy and not getting a job. basically i struggle a LOT with doing anything where my services are exchanged for money, it really freaks me out, so for now at least im making my art more of a me-time thing rather than an outlet im trying to monetize. i might open for them occasionally via journal, but i wont be taking many and it will just be for fun!
and my last point is that now that im consistently doing art again (knock on wood) im gonna have a go at streaming more often. i have a picarto account which ive got linked in my profile and my journal footer, so feel free to follow it, or just keep an eye out for journals/submissions saying its on! fair warning though, my taste in music is........ debatable.

thats about it!! thanks for sticking round - it brings me immeasurable pleasure to be able to share my stupid animal drawings, and i love every last one of you for actually signing up for more. hopefully youll be seeing more of me in the days to come!! anyway its 5AM now so ciao lmao x__x

i guess it's been a while since i went through all my accounts for stuff cause furocity doesnt even exist anymore now? anyway, i upload most of my art to my tumblr including non-furry artwork. i'm also scattered through a few other places here and there, but mostly it goes there. anyway, here are all my points of contact, just for the record.

SFW & NSFW
TUMBLRS

WEASYL

FURRYNETWORK

so yea, thank you for the interest in my mediocre art and life, hope your day is going good!