I’m doing fine financially but I’m between jobs and want to have some extra cash so for the first time(outside of a couple weird little things) I am considering doing commissions. Would you pay me to draw something? How much would you pay? Do you think I’m up for the challenge in terms of skill or personal style? Etc? Any info much appreciated.

I haven't really used Twitter in a couple of years, I stopped using Tumblr a few months ago. Right now I only use this here FurAffinity and Discord(and some forums too but I'm not counting them that's stupid). I still like a few artists who don't post on here enough to sometimes look up their Twitters or Bskies or whatever. It's depressing man. It makes me kind of scared about furry as a whole, like how can it be normal to be regularly subtweeting as a full grown adult. Oh god. Are these the animals I want to be around? If I try to make friends with animals in furry spaces outside of my little bubble, will they be like this? I look up to a lot of these animals, they seem decently smart.

Why is everybody acting like this is normal! Does everyone have a reason that I'm blind to? I know some people make their living selling their art and they have to promote it but I don't think snarky discourse tweets that get two likes a pop are that effective of advertisement. A lot of these animals seem like they actively don't like it but they just complain on the goddamn website instead of stopping.

I'm not very smart, I'm not morally righteous(lord knows), I'm as much or more of an asshole than a whole lot of people, I'm not very mature, my lack of impulse control is a serious problem in my day-to-day life. This is not me getting on my high horse. My high horse is one of those miniature therapy ponies. I suck. Like a lot. A lot of these animals seem smarter and more mature than me. Why are they still using this stupid misery machine in their free time? Will I have to do this if I want to be a somewhat notable furry? That sounds like hell. I don't want that.

This is like the one thing where I don't feel fundamentally unable to understand those around me. So when I don't understand furries it's scary. I'm never going to stop being a furry because it's in every little particle of me. It's my favorite thing. If the community goes to absolute shit I will dress up in my basement and watch old cartoons by myself. But I'd rather it not do it alone. I'm already doing it alone now. It gets lonely and boring without others.

Kind of lost the plot at the end. I'll delete this at some point maybe. This is the sort of thing where I do want people to respond. Sometimes FA journals are unclear like that so I am making it clear, respond if you want please.

Rode Caltrain today(in one of the Stadtler KISS EMUs, I’m pissed I wasn’t functional enough to ride the last diesel cars when they were phasing them out)and I’m just so happy that I get to be alive in a world with trains! And affordable commuter rail at that! It’s so good. When my anxiety’s in check being on a train or a bus is like being a fish in water. I never feel like that normally. It’s great dude. Holy shit. Are you guys seeing this train shit? I am. Mostly writing this because I’m sitting in a strip mall parking lot waiting for the Giants game to be in progress so it isn’t crowded as hell. Anyway please do trains everyone. Governments please fund trains.
Already planning how to get my gross little raccoon paws onto SMART. Shout out to Zoloft for making this possible. Wahoooo. chitterchitterchitter

I’m writing to you lying an empty bathtub fully clothed. It isn’t even that hot compared to how it gets in other parts of the US but jeez none of the houses in my area have AC and they aren’t built for this shit so you just gotta tough it out until the sun goes down. Plus I have a migraine which is not helping. Spent the last half hour lying here in the tub reading the Wikipedia page for Phill Spector. Man did that guy have issues. I just spent five minutes trying to write out another short quippy thought about him but I can only manage paragraphs right now.

Anyway how’s everyone enduring the freeze? Anything cool happen? Anything at all?

Got the five The Complete Yarf! collections currently available from . Very excited about this. I’m a real sucker for old furry stuff. I find it very interesting how much furry has changed in the last thirty(Jesus christ) years. I think the first thing that jumps out at you is how heterosexual it is, it’s very jarring to see furry when it wasn’t predominantly gay. But at least in the start of the ‘zine’s run you’ve got to flip through several pinups of tasteful busty animal girls before you find the real interesting stuff. The second thing you notice is how tied into genre fiction it all was. I guess I always just assumed that early furry was just people who liked animation and comics with funny animals. Which is very much true to some extent. And that is still a part of it but as far as Yarf! specifically goes there’s a lot more scifi/fantasy fan DNA than anything.
Alright that’s most of what I have to say on this subject. Still feel like I’m forgetting something whoops.

In other news I’m getting into both James Joyce and Cormac McCarthy because of my stupid ass furry OCs. Also my buddy is here now say hi.

Should have posted this April first so my intentions would be made clear but I only just got the inspiration. Please stay on my page. I love you.
IF YOU ARE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING GET OFF MY PAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bonkers haters/Doug Walker fans(hates Bonkers)/Teddy Ruxpin haters(isn't creepy he's my best friend)/Gerbert haters/ranch dressing(or other creamy dressings) on salads paired with a heavy meal(overlooks the necessity of acid cutting through the fat)/Blaseball fans/Fall Out Boy fans/My Thirteenth Year(song) by Randy Crenshaw/More than one women(I get scared)/siren kids/people who call VCRs 'VCR players' (Videocassette Recorder Players?)/Sparklecare fans/Real life dogs/racists/Dungeon Meshi/March 10th 2025 AD(they took all the things out of my room and yelled at me in the park)/Ariel Pink supporters/Ariel Pink detractors/People who are too into Vinyl/Maoists/Linux guys/TikTok/People who buy YouTooz just because they like the creator even though the merch is bad/Elon Musk/Zucchini/Will try to make me eat zucchini/will try to make me eat other squashes/will try to make me eat butternut squash/Fur And Loathing CSI episode/Wikifur vandalists/Beach Boys haters(Oscar's dad, my dad sometimes, December's mom)/You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon haters(my dad all the time(due to poverty and homelessness in his youth)/Patrick/South Park yaoi types/People who will endanger my secret(my top wisdom teeth came in but I'm not telling anyone because I don't want to go to the dentist)/Hazbin Hotel fans/People who reblog those Tumblr posts that start like 'Came back wrong is good but what about coming back <adjective>?/Raymond Carver haters/George Washington High School/Special Ed teachers/Special ed teachers assistants who stand behind me and stare at me(you are giving me extra learning disabilities)/ToonTown Corporate Clash/R slur/Anti FurAffinity/Thinks Ad Astra is better than Echo/pedos/measles/Liking Car Seat Headrest wrong/stress fracture in foot/pregnant doctor who told me stress fracture in my foot was gout(my mom got mad at me and yelled at me in the car)/NRA/MRA/Cate Wurtz haters/MADLO/Tries to make my dad listen to Yo La Tango(He doesn't like it!! Leave him alone already!!)/Divorce/zoophilia/shallow biblical allusions/Not telling me we're going to a restaurant a day in advance so I can mentally prepare/Phoenix, Arizona(very cursed)/lolicon/shotacon/burned furs(I am a pervert)/Hates on Federal Signal 2001/Says Federal Signal Thunderbolt is better/No bread to go with all this discount Nutella that I bought so now I have to eat it out of the jar like a mother freaking caveman/fatphobic/animatronic hater/Current CEC(besides Northridge location) fans/Revolutionary Girl Utena evangelists/Mouthwashing/Strong opinions about Radiohead/Publicly greiving Tilt Longtail even though he's still alive/Sandy Shepherd who did that(and he stained Reggie DeadPossumCo's Who Framed Roger Rabbit t shirt and he gives toonfurs a bad name and he chased Tilt Longtail from ever going to furry conventions so we will never get to see Tilt Longtail or Greifer Fox or Snagglepus or Pink Panther or Brer Fox or any of them EVER AGAIN/4chan/Qanon/Chester Cheetah/Aaron Fechter/bunny haters/Zootopia/Zootopia 2/Scene from Elf where he eats the subway gum(I HATE THAT SCENE IT'S SO GROSS)/scene from Elf where he eats the pasta/Elf(2003/P.T Anderson haters/Magnolia(1999) haters(If you can't sit down for three hours to watch a movie then your a baby with no attention span!! GO BACK TO TIKTOK!!!)/Numbered album haters/cassette haters/cassette destroyers(Like that one Bruno Mars video that I HATE SO MUCH where he destroys the tape for a lady to draw her face and his face on a table)/People who leave TVs on the sidewalk/People who neglect TVs/My dad's friend Jeremy/laugh at workplace accidents caused by criminal negligence/laugh at accidents caused by criminal negligence/Homestuck/BTS/Kpop/ancaps/Sprite Chill/Forest Gump on VHS(I already have two copies stop giving it to me!!)/transphobic/superiority complex over being Canadian/Transgender men from Georgia/Transgenders from New York City/Blur fans/Oasis fans(WHY?)/Pulp fans/California Department Of Rehabilitation/xenophobic/islamaphobic/nazis/people who listen to Jack Stauber without undestanding the context of the genre he exists in/Tucker Carlson/Mormons/Mormons who want me to call them 'LDS' for any other reason than to distinguish them from other sects(such as FLDS)/Scientologists/Leave rude comments/leave rude comments on my YouTube/Leave rude comments on my Tumblr/Send rude messages to me on Discord/Send rude messages to me in the mail/Tell me the stuff I like is problematic(I KNOW!! I AM FULL OF PROBLEMS!!!)/Anti otherkin or therian/raccoon haters/bad people/preachy about liking mint chocolate chip ice cream/Emperor X haters/Public transit haters/forces me to like Huey Lewis And The News(band) because of where I'm from/Forces me to listen to Huey Lewis And The News(band) on Discord calls/Plays Huey Lewis And The News(band) on the radio or in department stores like Macy's or Sears/hates physical media/hates VHS tapes/destroys VHS tapes for fun/thinks VHS tapes are scary/analog horror kids/thinks VHS tapes should have won the format war(Betamax is higher quality and beta decks are WAY cooler!!)/Christians who don't like getting made fun of/Christians who do like getting made fun of (for sex reasons)/Walgreens generic candy corn/the gunk that accrues when you wash dishes without a garbage disposal/landlords that rip up drip irrigation of my divorced father/alt right/anti choice/will try to make me watch Bluey

We don’t have to be mutuals I just wanna get a bunch of art of 2 in a bunch of different styles. And I want to get back into digital art.

 birthdaypartyland Look. Mostly for pictures taken on my 3DS. Right now it's just pictures of my stuffed animals with the weird religious stuff I've accrued over the years. I'll probably upload my better FC pics too. Okay I hope you like it love you bye.

I was going to write something else here but I kept getting self conscious about how I write. Anyway thank you, animal people you've made my life feel like it means something. I will continue to have my meaningful life now. And be on this website. Forever.