Contrary to less-than-popular belief, I am still alive.
Life has been busy, computer stuff (Graphics Card needed replacing), a bit of streaming and generally just been enjoying life.
Now and then I look around at some art or find something to buy/commission if I can. But I just have never got enough time to do everything anymore and certain things simply have fallen to the wayside.

Sorry for anyone who is disappointed by this, but my attentiveness to the site is intermittent.
There just isn't enough time in the day for me to get everything done that I would like to.

So...where do I begin?

We'll start with the sad news.
My Nan (my father's mother. A grandparent) was in bad shape. And there is no way to delicately put this, but...she passed away the day before my birthday. So that's a permanent mark from now on.
I will miss her, but at least she's at peace now. I'd talk more about this but I don't want to depress other people.

Onto the better news.~
My birthday went great. And I don't mean with gifts and such. No, I mean the stream I did on my birthday. I was on VRChat for it and not only did people join me on VRChat, but some had installed it just so they could. One of whom did it mid-stream.
I showed Power Star (Super Mario 64's Bob-Omb BAttlefield in VRChat), DOOM (the original DOS Shareware one), a place called Yeet! where you throw blocks (some with seats) and they take off super-fast...definitely a fun place to just mess about in now and then. And great for massive avatars as it is an open space. Uhh...went to Paper Mario 's house which had a few fun things there, including a Vinesauce reference with full animation of Mario and Luigi, and the Yoshaaaaa Yoshi thingy. After these things alone...I met up with Weardno.
Went to the Riddle Tower (one friend joined for that), Elevator VR (more joined) and then we went to a nice place I chose specifically because Sebby loves aquatic stuff, a fan of Subnautica in particular. It was a place called Aquarius. And it is very pretty.~
At which point the stream turned into a "hot tub stream" because we were in one...and I decided that was a good enough time to end the stream.

A bunch of gifted subs and Bits (5,000 from Eriah) and...yeah. I had a great day.~

Also, note: My avatar for VRChat was also a birthday gift...from Russet (I forget his FA. ;w; ...) and made by Nidonocu.~ <3

Okay, I suppose I'll come out and say a few things. First, I am still alive...obviously. Would be hard to do a journal otherwise.

I cannot remember everything that has happened over the past year. My birthday is obviously approaching and so I get to feel myself get older, a bit closer to death and hopefully wiser. Big hope. X3
My family has grown a little thinner over time, down to one final grandparent whom isn't going to last much longer. But she is well into her 90's. And while I did hope she would make it to a full hundred, it may not happen if she doesn't recover...but news is grim. I'll be okay, because she (like all my grandparents) had a good long life...and that's awesome, and that I got to have them in my life as long as I did.

Let's see...I got hospitalised with an unknown infection of sorts that was causing a raging temperature and caused me to spend Christmas in the hospital. Got out on the 26th, but ended up back on the 27th with intense pain.
Surprise, my body had a gift...a kidney stone.

But on a more positive, and somewhat amusing note, I got a PS4 finally on Christmas. I paid towards it myself (if I recall correctly) but then...I had not even got it set up yet, I was busy with other matters.
Along rolls February and the game store contacts me saying that my PS5 had arrived. It's like "Great. I JUST got a PS4 and now a PS5 arrives. Well alright..."
So I got this unopened PS4 sitting here. XD
I don't know whether to be happy I have a brand new PS4 Pro that can maybe be resold (ha, not likely. Not in a pandemic and the game store sure won't give much for it) or just laugh at the fact that by the time I was ready to set it up...I got the call to collect the next gen.

Speaking of that, I have been streaming my playthrough of Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart.
I am not only enjoying it, but I feel bad that it took this long for me to ever play a Ratchet & Clank game.
I won't spoil anything, but I will say that it is a great game that can (minus some background of the connection between Ratchet and Clank) stand on its own quite well. Though I have also encountered a number of bugs and anomalies that I am quite skilled at somehow finding in games. And yet it has never detracted from my enjoyment as it isn't anything game-breaking or damages the fun because I only found ONE bug and the only other things I managed to do was end up in places you probably shouldn't be.
Oh...and one weird graphical thing where a pipe changed (next to a collectable) when moved even slightly away from it.

What else to talk about..?
Oh! I actually ended up in the land of VR...with a VR headset, the Valve Index. But at the time I got it, it was not sold in Australia and even now it won't be in stores until August. So I had to order one from the USA which meant getting some adapters to change the plug to Australian ones. But still, it's fun to do.
I only have VRChat (obviously, free game) and a friend gifted me Beat Saber which I have yet to play but I will eventually when I am certain I won't break my computer swinging my arms around.

Oh right, my old computer died finally. Lasted 8 years, and so now I have a new one that I got with some money given to me. A share of an inheritance my mother got.
And...I think that's really all I can think about.

Life has been up and down, and I'm sorry that I'm not on FA a whole lot. Mostly around on Discord.
I would try be on FA more but other than browsing and maybe a comment here and there...I don't really do a whole lot.
I tried to get back into drawing but my OCD shoots that down constantly. Though I was told that if I got a program like SAI that is uh...Vector Art? I forget. They told me I'd be a good, or decent, artist. I'm skeptical...I honestly feel my greatest weakness is shading. I can never properly figure it out.

I think I'll end the journal here. Not sure what else to say, but doing this at 2:22 AM probably isn't helping with that critical thing called "thinking". XD

Coronavirus hasn't got me, and I've just sort of been around. Hope you've all been well, and I do apologise that I am just not that active around on sites like these anymore.

Anyway, I do hope you're all keeping safe and stuff. My birthday is a month away or something, and it's making me feel old. I'm not OLD old but I still wish I could go backwards a couple years. XP
And now I vanish again!~ X3

Thanks to those who told me to just type up how I feel, let it sit there and then remove it when better.
Nothing to see here, folks.~

Been streaming, doing other stuff and some other medical things. I haven't been around a whole ton but I am not dead at least. XP

Even though I didn't plan on doing this journal, I recalled that some got upset I left it too late to say it last year because they wanted to get me something...but even now perhaps it is a bit late to say.
My hatchday/birthday is coming up, 7th July. There, your notification so nobody can say "Why would you say this on the 1st of July?! Ahhh!!"

Yup, that is all. Hope you're all doing well.~ <3

Yup. I once dabbled in Streaming using my PC a long time ago, but then I had issues and I stopped. But now I have an Xbox One so I decided to get back to streaming and my friends have been really supportive.

I don't talk, I don't have a camera...but I do type in the chat and pay attention when I can. At least I won't obstruct the gameplay.

My first stream was me playing casually on Killer Instinct, then the next two have been me playing Banjo-Kazooie and going down memory lane.~

If you want to drop by, I tend to stream at about 8 or 9 AM AEST. But that isn't always the case, I do not have a schedule planned out. >w<
I'd be even happier with getting some Follows so you can possibly catch my streams when they happen...plus I could use more.

https://www.twitch.tv/silenrea
I really hope to see you there.~

My birthday is creeping closer, 7th of July. I always tend to wait until it is really close. Or...just say it on the actual day. First journal here about it was on the day. Next was 4 days before. So now this is about...7 days before. It's the 30th here.

Anyway, I try hold off announcing it too early because I don't want to sound like I'm expecting stuff. Most I ask for is a Happy Birthday/Hatchday to feel just that little bit more loved. c:

OKAY...silly journal is now complete. I fade into the background once more.~

Hey look...a journal. And it is bad news.
I just got back from the doctor. My kidneys are in trouble, going to be on meds forever so they don't get worse.
I'm not doing a lengthy journal about it. Just giving a heads up, so if anything develops further...it won't be a whole "You never told us about this earlier." situation.
Also, I learned that Type 1 Diabetes is classified as a cancer of the blood (minus the actual cancer, I assume). Hooray.

To quote myself.
"My mood has hit rock bottom, and splattered over it."

...I'll be okay, just need time. I'm not dead yet, but this is still somewhat world-shattering to me. I had a stress attack and ended up starting to cry at the doctor's.

A very long time ago, I had a vision for a story I would write that would span for quite a while but due to reasons (mostly the disorganisation of those whom were going to be part of it) the project never got very far. It was a direct parody of Left 4 Dead...but it was called Left 4 Preds.
The premise of the idea was that in recent times predators have ended up more bold, and are far more assertive at getting what they want.
Here's an overview/summary/pilot/whatever-you-want-to-call-it...

---

[9:57:30 AM] ᴇᴍɪʟʏ: hey
[9:57:33 AM] ᴇᴍɪʟʏ: have you looked outside?
[9:58:05 AM] ❅May❆: Just did, and it's really strange.
[9:58:44 AM] ᴇᴍɪʟʏ: well whatev, we're still meeting for lunch today right?
[9:59:02 AM] ❅May❆: Of course! But if the weather, and those odd clouds, get any worse I may head home early.

~~

September 12th.

Dave didn't come to class today, and other classmates have been disappearing as well and not coming to school. I mean, sure, disappearances have happened but either they return later or at the very least these things happen so rarely. And the sky is continuing to be blanketed in some weird crimson red clouds.
I asked about them to a few teachers and they said it probably isn't anything to worry about.
...I don't believe them. Something is bad is coming. Dad agrees and says we're leaving the area and heading to grandma's to the south and not coming back for a long time. I hope all my friends will be okay, and it's going to suck having to be in a new school.

~~

"-this is a message from your favourite radio DJ reminding you to remain indoors until evacuated by local authorities. Military response is still unclear but I will keep my loyal listeners informed of any change in events. But enough of the dreary stuff, let's get some fresh tunes to help you all relax."

~~

This may be my last blog, the house across the street was torn open. There is a massive hole in the side of the structure. It happened during the night but nobody heard any screams. There is something creeping about and everyone is too terrified to go out to see if there are any survivors in the house.
Where the hell is the military?! They were supposed to help evacuate us!

~~

"This is May Fowler, and I am coming to you live outside of the affected zone. The military has deemed it unsafe to enter and that it is unreasonable to expend soldiers and resources to move an army in with no way to know that they will succeed in extracting all whom are trapped within.
According to eye-witness reports, various creatures that have previously co-existed alongside our society, and even become part of it, are turning hostile. Attacking and devouring the helpless as they scramble. A survivor by the name of Jason Miller caught this footage of one such attack on a highway leading out of the vicinity.
Regrettably, this has caused the military to simply mobilise outside of the area to keep the problem isolated. Speculation is that within a month or two, the area will be deemed cleared for destruction and the entire area will be neutralised as it is considered likely that any survivors still out there will either be dead by that time, or have made it out alive.
Our coverage will keep everyone posted on any new developments."

---

Eh...this was the best I could do. Spanning various forms of media and communication over the course of the development.
The situation is simple.
Those with strong, even if dormant, pred instincts will slowly succumb to the strange clouds that cover the area. They also become bold as they feel a dependency on the area and also would come to learn that they are unable to die. They can be killed but revive within a couple hours at most.
Survivors, and thus those more likely to be deemed preyish, become weakened greatly of natural abilities including magic, psychic powers and all such abnormal skills. Resorting to use of weapons scattered throughout the area as it is a utopia of knowledge and development allowing various kinds of devices and even magical objects to help the groups survive. And of course guns, and explosives. They're around also.

This is a big project and I was partially hoping to get others involved in it but I am unsure how to go about it and maintain accuracy.
But the first step would be to find out if anyone is even interested. I will likely be linking this journal to friends...as well as seeing how many watchers notice.

7th of July. Yeah, it's rolling around again. I'm wondering if I've truly reached the point where it just feels like a normal day except with a few extra bonuses showing up in my lap in the form of gifts.
Most of the time I'm just happy when people remember my day and give me a greeting on the day. Art and gifts are nice, but I really love the simplicity of...being remembered.

Gee...haven't done a new journal in a long time. But I decided that this was important enough to let friends know what is going on.

Let's get the main part out of the way. For a long time, I have had...FOUR wisdom teeth. It has been discovered that one of them has not only gone rotten, but it is broken a little...and is infected and has infected my gums also.

Just a little while ago (though the ache still lingers) I had a session of about 30~40 minutes of absolute agony. It caused my entire body to shake and be wracked by the pain.
I am on antibiotics, I had JUST seen the dentist yesterday. The tooth cannot be pulled until the infection is fought back with the pills.
But wait, it gets WORSE. The antibiotics are to last for 5 days, taking 2 a day.
So I should get my tooth pulled a day oir two after they end and thus it is only a week...right?
...Nope. I saw him Friday, I won't see him again for the removal until NEXT Tuesday. So about...9 days waiting and it is pulled on the 10th day.

I can only hope that I will survive through this ordeal...and I speak of my mental state, not physical.
Because after a total of 3 of these sessions of absolute agony (one long back, the second was the day before I saw the dentist and the third was just now the day after I saw the dentist...) I'm not sure how long it will be before the pain breaks me or causes me to become desperate or irrational.

In society, do you follow the crowd of the majority? Or do you hate seeing others under-appreciated, shoved aside or "shafted" because of the mindless flocks that run things?
Alright, enough of the silly speech stuff...

Bottom line is, a friend raised a very valid point. It regards Pokemon, and you've probably heard wind of it floating around. And a lot of you might have decided just to remain out of it, and I can respect that.
I speak of the Power Bracket voting. I can easily accept that the Eons lost in round 2. Hey, at least they didn't lose in round one. So I'm still happy about that.
BUT...when it comes to Mewtwo, I think it is time that someone constantly overlooked or less bland, over-used and over-popular...can get a chance at progressing. Even if not able to get all the way, it'd be nice to see more appreciation for Giratina.
Come on, Giratina only got a little spotlight...and Mewtwo gets tons, and has had spotlights from as far back as Generation one like...what, 10 years ago? Can't we have a little variety and help an underdog rise above at least just for one small thing? :c

Please give Giratina your vote, it would mean a lot to a friend of mine. You can vote every day just once. And don't say "One vote won't make a difference." because, no...one won't. But one every day, and if EVERYONE who believes one won't change anything...vote, well it adds up, right? ^^

Vote here: http://www.pokemon.com/powerbracket/us/
Feel free to vote for any of the other pairings too. But give the Gira some love. ;w;

Wow...two years ago I last used this thing here. And it was for the same thing I'm doing this journal for, for any friends who wish to remain in the know.
Since FA doesn't have the same alert system like dA, I must place the journal to state that my birthday/hatchday is on the 7th of July. Chances are I will either be forced to attend my own birthday party or...I'll be busy spending time with friends in conversation (or possibly a party on Second Life, who knows?).

So yay, I'm going to be a quarter of a century old! (25)
The annual reminder of my failed immortality...it approaches. o:

Today is my special day. But I also share this day with someone special to me. I'm still trying to make contact with her. Though technically it is presently still the 6th over there, I believe. X3

I want to thank all who gave me a "Happy Birthday!" and "Happy Hatchday" to me so far, and a thank you to any additional ones that may come. ^^

I also want to thank the gift images I got (so far). From htfcuddles and Latias4ever. Wuv you both. *Big hug.*

That's about it. And obviously, I don't hang around FA all that much lately, though I loathe to admit it. I try drop in now and then though to be sure not to fall too far behind. >w<

Recently, I have taken up composing music. It has interfered with my story-writing but it is so relaxing and clears my mind.

Admittedly, my music will probably never fit into any "genre", and since I have not heard of any label for this, I call it River-Playing.

Because just like the water in a river, it is never the same. You could drop a leaf into a river and it will move along a path as it goes with the rocks and curves. And then drop in another leaf and the path it takes is completely different. That's why no tunes have a set pattern nor are two pieces of music the same.

It's not really just hitting random keys, it's just getting a feel for it. So far I have made two pieces of music. One is "Wings of Harmony" and the other is yet to be revealed...as I made it as a gift for someone. I need to give it to him first. X3

Okay. I know I have been very...preoccupied with what I do online. Being addicted to roleplaying to keep my creativeness flowing as much as I can is one of the reasons. I mean, it's fun and I can spark up ideas from it. But I certainly have ended up rather too relaxed and no stories have been created.

I DO have two stories in mind.
A sequel to "A Soul's Power" which will involve the two Pokemon meeting again (Yes...the Mewtwo is still alive. No spoilers here as to how or anything else).

But I'm presently working on a different story right now, I won't say too much about it. A friend helped put this one into progress. But writer's blocks are certainly giving me a hard time. I got a nice middle section done when inspiration hit me. But I have no start or how to finish it up. Not to mention no title. *Sighs.*

Well that's pretty much all I have to say. I plan to try set aside some time later to brainstorm on the story to finish it up. I mean, I'm not the greatest writer out there but I certainly don't want to force myself into the story and cause it to lose flow and lack that real feeling to it.