So I got my Mac back from Amazon today.

I called Apple corporate to see if they'll help me repair it at a lower price, or even maybe free. I explained to them how it's a logic board problem that a lot of the 2011 Macs are getting. I also explained how I didn't have the funds to repair this problem and that I'd be afraid to repair it since people who have gotten theirs repaired are reporting that the replacement fails not too long after too.

They're supposed to call me back in about an hour with a verdict.

Fingers crossed that I won't have to pay anything. Hopefully they've gotten enough reports of failed logic boards where they'll finally see that it's a problem.

If not I'll still need to come up with $350 somehow to get it repaired cause I freaking need my computer like whoa.

I'm actually not excited about making it to another year.

I have nothing going for me. I feel such an emptiness inside and an overwhelming sadness. I feel so distressed.

I don't want to be alive. I wish I were dead. I really do.

It does not always get better. In my case everything gets worse.

I'm just so tired.

I probably won't end it tonight. But one day.

One day it's going to all come crashing down and I just won't be able to live with myself anymore.

And then I'll be free.

So Amazon decided that they can't give me any money for my broken Mac. They're shipping it back to me and I'm stuck with a broken computer that I can't get rid of.

I'm thinking of just letting Apple repair it but it's going to cost me at least $350 I believe to do it.

I really really could use a working computer.

I can't really color regularly because the laptop I'm using occasionally is my sister's one, and she's always on it cause she has college essays to write.

But like, I can do full body sketches if anyone wants to buy one. $7 Paypal.

Or I'm still accepting donations at sliceoflifedarkpassenger[at]gmail.com

I could use the help. Thanks to those who donated before, it came to $130 and it was at least enough for Castiel's bills and cremation.

I just could really really use help in getting my computer repaired :/

My friend Jazz has no food and only $30 to her name for the next month or so. If anyone can help her out that'd be awesome.

I wish I could donate but I too am struggling right now :(

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6378347/

With a broken computer I won't be around much. Until I get a new one I don't really have an easy means of getting online?

Noted an admin about aforementioned issue.

With Castiel's death and my computer breaking, I am left with bills and nothing to use to do commissions. I have made some money so far towards my goal but I am still lacking $470.

I am hosting a fundraising raffle to raise the rest. Everyone who donates $10 will be entered into it. For every additional $10 you donate you get more entries.

Raffle will close when I hit the target mark.

Winner will receive a complete drawing of whatever they want from me every week for 2 months. That a colored and shaded drawing per week for 2 months.

People who have already donated $10 or more I will message you with your entry numbers.

Feel free to donate anything you can as well.

paypal is sliceoflifedarkpassenger[at]gmail.com

thank you for helping and have a happy holiday!

After Castiel fought relentlessly and faced death plenty of times, his little soul has finally passed on. He died Sunday the 21st at noon. One final seizure was what did him in. I was holding him in my lap and just petting him when he passed on. I'm so very sad not to have my little buddy with me anymore. He was truly one special rat. He was there for me in tough moments and he was so full of personality. He lived to be 3 years and 5 months old. I tried to give him a long happy life. He traveled to many places with me and tried many type of food. He also changed many hearts and many opinions people have had about rats.

He'll be in my heart forever.

RIP Castiel 7/2011-12/21/2014

I have had the worst 24 hours you will not believe.

First there is the issue of my baby Castiel. 2 days ago he suddenly had a giant lump appear in his abdomen. Last night he had a seizure. Today when I took him to the vet I was told he is in terminal condition and probably won't live past the end of the month.

Also last night, my computer decided to crash out on me. Took it to Apple store today and in order to repair it, it will probably need a new motherboard and hard drive and graphics card. The warranty also expired as well so it's hella expensive, more than it's even worth. I'm better off scrapping it and just getting a nice cheap PC.

I have been trying not to cry all day. I'm losing my heart rat and lost my means of doing commissions all in the span of a day.

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Copypasta from Facebook

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So I'm having a sort of Fundraiser (since I can't exactly work on commissions with a dead computer. It's going to be a Castiel/Computer fund.

It's going to cost me about $100 for the vet for Cas. It will cost wayyy too much to repair my Mac so I'll need $500 for a new PC.

Donations are very much welcomed through PayPal at sliceoflifedarkpassenger[at]gmail.com

If you'd like a rain check on a commission so that it isn't like you're giving me free money let me know. Just take note I can't work on it unless I actually have a new computer.

All help is appreciated.

Signal boosting would be hella awesome too!

...people you thought were friends just up and abandon you. Especially when because of you they came into the fandom. They made friends in the fandom because of me. Then they go and get a "mate" and suddenly they forget all about me.

It's sickening, I thought we were friends.

Only goes to show how much people care about you :/

Hey guys I wanted to take on some quick sketches. They'll be digital full bodies.

Paypal only.

Let me know if you'd like one!

Another birthday has come and gone. It was very uneventful. A lot of people wished me happy birthday though. And a lot of people who I thought were friends didn't even say a peep so it was a good eye opener.

I had dinner with my family. It was really good but my tummy acted up again :(

Otherwise it's been a quiet birthday of me laying around watching True Blood.

Another birthday has come and gone. It was very uneventful. A lot of people wished me happy birthday though. And a lot of people who I thought were friends didn't even say a peep so it was a good eye opener.

I had dinner with my family. It was really good but my tummy acted up again :(

Otherwise it's been a quiet birthday of me laying around watching True Blood.

It's been really hard the past few days getting myself out of bed and functioning. I suffer from bad depression and it's been really straining on me again. Like I've been fighting off the urges to harm myself and it's taxing where I just won't get out of bed.

I'm trying to fight it though because I have responsibilities to take care of. Like artwork :/

Commission Order:
Marlo
FoxyLoxy
ShiningStar
Nyaasu
SnowyCheetah

What I don't love is the constant feeling of illness in the pit of my stomach. I'm so hungry and I really want to eat yummy delicious food but my stomach is like NO!

In better news, my security SORA test is soon. The 29th and 30th of this month. Hopefully that goes well and I can finally have a fulltime job ah ha ha.

I'm also an idiot because I just realized this whole time I've been unemployed I never filed for unemployment. I AM STUPID.

I'm excited because Sunday I'll be in NYC with  Nyaasu and we're going to check some stuff out there. I'll try to take pictures maybe xD

Tomorrow I might see a movie with a friend from high school but I'm not sure cause as we know I'm pretty broke. I might have an AMC giftcard laying around so maybe I'll get lucky and it still has money on it haha.

Cas has a tiny lumpy lump on his ribs which is making me really nervous. I can't take him to the vet yet but hopefully it doesn't grow or anything.

This is all that is happening.

Hey everyone doing a cute YCH collab with  LunaMoonglade

Go check it out here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15041139/

Since FA likes to have a lot of down time. You can always look for me/reach me/commission me through these places:

DeviantART: http://sillydogthegreat.deviantart.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/samantha.oppenheimer.5
Skype: CastielOwnsYou

I would try to be on Weasyl more but no one pays attention to me there haha.

Here it is anyway: https://www.weasyl.com/~sillydogthegreat

I'm in a really depressed mood right now.

I wasted time going into the city for a job interview and they're not even hiring.

I come back home to find that the psych meds I need cost $180.

I have no money to even buy them now because I just spent what I had on trains and buses to go to this interview.

If anyone would be so kind as to commission me so I can get my stupid pills that would be really awesome.

I just... wish my luck would turn around.

I'm going to be making a revision to my commission prices.

People have been taking advantage of me just because my prices are a lot lower than other people.

The prices that are currently on my list are meant to be BASE prices.

This means that the price can increase depending on how complicated it starts to get or how detailed.

This is why if you want an exact price I BEG you to message me first and be as detailed as possible with what you want and don't leave anything out.

This way I can better assist you with a price and I'll feel better about myself and I won't feel like I've been cheated of my time and money.

Do not send the money before we agree on a price. I've had people send money first and then start to go into what they want in a commissions and more often than not what they want is worth more than the money that was sent.

So PLEASE, PLEASE talk to me first before you assume the price covers everything.

Also I refuse to haggle with people. Telling me to lower my already low prices is like telling me that I'm not worth the time I put into things.

So December 1st I'm going to be turning 25. I don't know why that feels so weird. It's like, I can't get away with being young anymore. It's like I have to be an actual adult now. I feel like I'm not even at the point where I can do the things adults do. Like I'm still trying to figure out life.

Heck I don't even know if I'm doing anything for my birthday.

Time is moving too fast and yet too slow.

Argh.

Just so people know where they stand.


1. Gwolo - Done

2. Lauren - Done

3. Invidia

4. Nyaasu

5. Wanderer

6. Snowy

Hey everyone, I have a few bills coming up and I could really use a few commissions to take care of them. I literally have no money yet and I have no idea how long it will be before I can take my SORA test for this security guard job I'm trying to get.

I can do black and white sketches for $5.

Or flat colors for $10.

We can discuss prices for additional characters.

I also am selling a few things if you want to take a look in this folder: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1483159495296008.1073741848.100008059150802&type=1&l=8c0a754583

Please I can use any help I can get!

Paypal only please.

Thanks for looking!

EDIT: My bank just overdrafted. I could REALLY appreciate some commissions right now ;A;

Hey everyone, I have a few bills coming up and I could really use a few commissions to take care of them. I literally have no money yet and I have no idea how long it will be before I can take my SORA test for this security guard job I'm trying to get.

I can do black and white sketches for $5.

Or flat colors for $10.

We can discuss prices for additional characters.

I also am selling a few things if you want to take a look in this folder: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1483159495296008.1073741848.100008059150802&type=1&l=8c0a754583

Please I can use any help I can get!

Paypal only please.

Thanks for looking!

Hey guys! I need to make a few quick dollars so I'm opening my sketch commissions again.

They are full bodies for $5 each (plus tax).

Paypal only please.

I do prefer ferals but at this point I'll draw anything.

Let me know if you're interested.

Thank you!

Is anyone on there? What's your username on there if you are?

Mine is SillydogTheGreat.

So I have this issue where I tend to get a buttload of cysts on my ovaries which can cause a lot of problems. I haven't been keeping up to date with it because I lack insurance and doctors are expensive, so I've just been kinda... ignoring it?

Lately though I've been having a lot of pain, I am tired ALL the time, and I feel just plain lousy. Plus according to my monthly app I'm late 18 days (and no I can't be pregnant because I've never had the sex).

I was going to go to the hospital today to see if they can check me out or something but it looks like instead I might be going to a doctor in the morning.

I'm also wondering if any of this is tied into my upper right arm hurting a lot for the past 5 months.

Plus I woke up today with a hella sore throat which makes me feel even more crappy.

Idk I kinda hope that they can figure out what the problem is. Like if my cysts are back or getting worse I kinda want to see about getting them removed, and while they're at it I wouldn't mind getting rid of my ovaries altogether, not like I ever want to have children anyway.

Cause like I was reading up on it and there is a possibility that pcos CAN eventually lead to cancer and well, that sounds expensive ok.

Bleh.