This is something I have wondered for some time now. Is love real? Is it worth the fights and heartache? More importantly, what is it? Also, is it possible that some are meant to be loners? I feel heart broken and saddened. Not sure how to feel or think right now. I guess I'm trying to just put down my thoughts so I can get it off my mind..." Sighs and sits up " I look all around me and see so many furs who have mates and live happy lives and yet I'm alone. Maybe I feel unwanted and pushed away? I don't know. I try to make connections but it never works. Am i not lovable? Who am I? I'm a rainbow flying fox. Have no name but I go by the nickname of skittle. If you are reading this then know that I'm interested in knowing how you feel on the subject and your thoughts. Maybe I can find a middle ground and some solitude. I've had a depression since I was 13 for many reasons but alas ill spare you the details... Since I got out of high school my depression went from every day to about twice a week but it lingers over me every day. Today it hit me especially hard due to the fact that I don't feel loved and I feel cast aside by everyone. My heart aches and I not know why. Is my life coming to an end? Have I done something to cause myself constant misery? Why am so alone? Have I not done things right? It seems that no matter what I do I just can't do things right. I feel lost and hopeless the way a mouse feels when trapped under the paw of a cat. I'm ready to throw in the towel and give up..." Sighs sadly "I need inspiration... A spark... Something... Some one to lift me up..." Looks down and curls up "thanks for listening if you actually read this... I wish to cry but alas I can't... I don't know how..."

As you all know I have been feeling down lately but things are looking up and I am happier now then I was before. Stil not sre if I am going to continue in being a brony anymore but it is what it is. Anyways my b day is on June 11 and the only thing I want for my Birthday is to have the best year of my life. I need a break from all the crud that has been weighing me down lately. It would really help me think and get me back on track with making costumes. I also am going to be traveling from convention to convention soon hosting a talent show at Furry conventions and Brony conventions alike. My first debut will be at Trotcon 2013 in Ohio. I am so excited about this. Please, say a prayer for me because I need some sort of success in my life to help get me back on track. Cant wait for my B day either. Should be fun. I will have all my friends come to me in my home town of Grand Prairie Texas to have a huge pool party. If by some chance you live nearby let me know and I may just invite you to here ^^ The more friends the better I could really use the support. Thanks to everyone who gave me support earlier. I am feeling better and again things have been looking up and I look forward to having the best year of my life.

That title... That is something I said would never happen but after what happened to me at brony-fest 2013 march 29th - 31st... im not sure I want to be a brony anymore... When I first joined the fandom it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders but the more I got into it the more the weight came back but in multiples... My name is silva silviak and I just had the worst weekend of my life... at brony fest I was accused of stuff I did not do... stuff that happened to me some 4 years ago when I was accused of doing something that i did not do back then seems to have all come back despite the fact all the charges were dropped because i did not do it... it never even went to court because there was video evidence proving i didnt do it... I was stripped of my staff position... not allowed to wear my fur suit and every picture and video that was done of me forcefully deleted... What kind of fandom does this to a fellow member... ~sighs sadly and looks down~ There was other things that happened this weekend as well but ill keep it to myself... thanks for ruining my reputation and life brony-fest... thanks for having me slave away to help make this con work and then just pushing me aside... ive never been so hurt in my life... i officially ate my life... shoot me now and just end it please... it would seem i was set up from the start... my cutie mark represents my fighting spirit and is a flame... this flame has been put out...

As many of you know I had been feeling down lately. I can safely say I feel a lot better now and I just wanted to thank each and every one of you for your support no matter how small. Every bit helped and I thank each and every one of you for it. Went out of town this past weekend and that helped as well. Went to a huge furry party and got to stay the night. Oh, was that fun! Lots of dancing and hanging around with all my fellow furs and bronys not only was very fun but it helped put my mind at ease as well and while there I did get to wear my fursuit a bit hehe yay! (Oh, dont remember his name but someone at the party while in his fursuit fell in the pool lol that sucks. His suit seems to be fine though at least so that is good ). Anyways, stayed the night there and the next day everyone from the party who stayed the night all went to a local fur meet up there. Got to go aroud wearing my fur suit all day and hang around fellow fursuiters. LOVED IT!!! Anyways thats just a quick update and I hope you all have a great day. Sure is good to be back to my normal self. hehe. Also, I should post up a few pictures later on this week from the meet up. Forgot to take pictures at the party. Oh well. Well thanks again. Bye for now.

I dont know why I feel so heart broken and lonely... I have a ton f friends... a semi okay life... and yet I feel like I have nothing... Like... theres a part of me thats missing or theres a huge void in my heart where no matter how much love it is filled with... All I feel and see is darkness... Like a never ending nightmare of hate and despair... truth is I have felt this way for several years now... I just always kept it to myself but I figured maybe telling it out loud to everyone might help... idk anymore... all I want is to feel happiness... havnt felt it in a while... Why do I feel this way? I remember when it started too... it was when I was 13... I was madly in love with this girl and we went out for like half a year before she cheated on me then left me... I was never the same after that... I have had a very hard time commiting to anyone in particular... I try but it never seems to work out... Am I destined to fail and live alone? What could I have done differently and more importantly what am I missing in life to cause me to feel this way... *sighs sadly and shrinks myself to 3 inches tall and lays down on a warm cookie with my tail curled around me and my wings closed on me* I need guidance or help but I dont know where to turn... *sniffles...* I feel so alone and scared and helpless... why? *hides my face* An no... im not emo or looking for attention... am simply looking for answers... Im tired of feeling this pain and they say that talking about is the first step... well... ive made the first step... now what?...

I am now offering free shipping with the purchase of two Costumes!

An to celebrate the new years of 2013 where the Apocalypse did not occur I am doing something you all will love! Due to my boredom I have decided to lower prices once again! For a very limited time I will be doing these for only $75 each! There will be a few exceptions to this so don't hesitate to let me know what it is you would like done, I will do my best to accommodate you on anything and everything you would like so hurry and order yours today!
(As always know that if your wanting only certain pieces such as the top part or just the wings or just a tail then know that we can adjust the price accordingly.)

Hi EveryPony and Brony !!!

Hope EveryPony is doing good. Name is Silva Silviak. I am a pegasus pony and I hope you consider me for all your costume needs. I look forward to making AnyPony you can think of including Original Characters. The picture of the Blue Pegasus Pony with the Red and light blue mane and tail is a OC I did. I have made Characters from the My Little Pony show as well. Derpy Hooves, Scootaloo, Princess Luna, amongst a few others. I can make any character you would like such as Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Vinyl Scratch, Apple Jack, and Lyra etc. . If by some chance you want something other then a Pony such as a wolf, dragon, or fox, then know that I am more then willing to give it a try. When I make these costumes it will have everything it needs including but not limited to wings, horn, stuffing ( can give it a very nice clean and plush look ) , tail, mane, cutie mark and pants. I use a very comfortable material known as Fleece and I start by making it with the style of a hoodie making it a very nice and everyday wear sort of out fit or you could just use it for meet ups and conventions. I make all of these custom and nothing is pre made it is all made to order with your personal pants size and hoodie size. The pants will be made with belt loops for a belt and the tail will have a Velcro attachment to go around your belt for a snug and nice fit. If you have any questions then feel free to ask. An be aware that these out fits will take me about 3 days to make because as Granny Smith would say it's about quality and care and that recipe does take time. Also, know that if your wanting an out fit without pants or you want something custom and minor such as just a tail then let me know and I can and will do that for you. An don't worry we will adjust the price accordingly, just let me know ahead of time what you would like and we can work it out.

( If you would also like a sketch of your character drawn then let me know and I will do it for you for $15. )

PS: An be aware that I am willing to ship internationally ( outside of the U.S.A. ) if need be BUT before you pay me for the shipping I will get a receipt on how much it will cost so we know the exact amount and if you have any questions or concerns regarding this then please by all means ask.

Thanks for looking and thank you for your time and I hope you have a great day. An I look forward to doing an out fit with any and all of you. Making costumes is my passion. An Rarity is my inspiration. Truth is, I never once considered making costumes until I became a Brony and actually saw all of this.

Also, I am considering running a raffle for one of these with tickets at $5 each and the drawing will be shown on Youtube where I will place each name into a jar and randomly draw one out. Let me know if you would be interested in this deal!

Current Commission Spots:

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There is a app on iPhone and Android that has a Village game for My Little Pony. If you have this game add me. I have a gameloft Live account and my user name is EvilRainbowDash.

Hi, the title says it all. As head vendor for Brony-Fest 2013 ( My Little Pony Convention ) it is my job to seek out vendors who might be interested in being a vendor at this event. It is in Lewisville, Texas. It will be Next year March 29th-31st 2013. If you know anyone who might be interested in this then please let me know and also let me know if you yourself might be interested in this. Be aware there wont be any weapon selling allowed and food selling is not allowed either. Any Mature art is also not allowed as this Brony Convention is going to be of all ages. If you would like to check out the website then you can find it here http://brony-fest.yolasite.com/ . An again If you are interested in being a vendor then please let me know and I will send you the form to fill out and I will be here to assist you in any way I can. Thank you for reading and have a great day.

PS: You must be 17 or older to do this and I will need to know what it is you are wanting to sell.

Sincerely, Silva Silviak

Hi EVERYPONY!!! Name is Silva Silviak for those who do not know me. Hope you all have been well and I hope you all are as excited as I am about the start of the new season as I am too. An don't worry I wont give out any spoilers that I have heard about and or seen. Also, I would like to let you all know that I am currently about to start working on an actual fur suit of a random character I will be designing soon so if you'd like to check that out just check on me page ever so often. I hope to get started on it in like a week or two as far as the actual fur suit itself goes. On the character design I plan on drawing him or her up soon. Cant wait to do this. Always wanted to make an actual fur suit. Anyways, I would also like to mention that I plan on taking up commissions for costumes of my current style. If you would like one just let me know and I can quote you a price. Rather you want a pre-made character such as a mane six character from my little pony or your own character know that I can do it and would be more then happy to do it. Also, if you would like me to draw out your character then I am also willing to accept that kind of commission too. I do it all by hand and not on the computer so you will end up getting the actual drawing of your character. I am willing to take up to 5 commissions at a time. Well, thanks for looking and have a great day.

Current Commissions

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Dances around happily

Commissions : Open ( I accept payments )
Trades : Open ( needs to be something truly amazing )

A special thanks goes to for being the VERY FIRST one to ever commission me. It literally made my entire day much better. I am very excited to be getting started on it. THANKS BLAZE!!!

Current Commissions and Trades...

1. BlazeFire21 ( He is a Pegasus Pony on Deviantart.com) .... Commission of his character Blaze ( Partial Payment Received )
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I am currently willing to take on up to four more commissions and what I specialize in is making My Little Pony costumes / cosplay / oc out fits designed with you in mind. You tel me what you want and you can consider it done upon payment agreement or trade agreement. Rather it be Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Derpy Hooves, Twilight Sparkle, Apple Jack or a back ground character or any other character you may have such as an oc ( Original Character ) know that I can and will do it. Also note that if your wanting something more along the lines of a wolf or dragon type of character know that I will do my absolute BEST to make it happen. I take my time on thee and I do not rush on them. On average I spend maybe 3 to 4 days on one of these because its all about quality and care NOT quantity.

If you have any questions or concerns feel free to ask and thanks for looking

Sincerely Silva Silviak

Hi, I am wanting to see how much support I could get on this and to see how it would work. This is what I am wanting to do. I understand that some of you want a My Little Pony out fit ( outfit ) or maybe a dragon, wolf, etc type of out fit made but cant afford it. Here is your chance becase what I will consider doing if I have enough support for it is hold a drawing where for $5 I will put your name into a drawing for one of these. If you wish for multiple tickets it would cost $10 for three of them and in order to make sure the drawing is fair I will put a video of the drawing on youtube of me putting all the names into the jar letting you see each one of them and then I will shake it up really good and draw 1 name. In the event that there is just an insane amount of entries I might do a 1st 2nd and 3rd prize but as of now it will only be one.

If you wish to see my work go into my deviations where you will see ones like Gilda the griffon ( griffin, gryphon ), Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, Derpy Hooves, Fluttershy ( picture of fluttershy will be added to my deviations soon. ).

(PS: If you can repost this in your journal in order to raise awareness of me doing this then please do so. Also, if you have any questions or concerns let me know and if you are interested then please message me in my journal.)

Sincerely, ~Silva-Silviak ( If this journal is done by someone other then me then click on my username or icon or search me up in the search menu by typing in Silva Silviak. )

Okay, I have been thinking that I should make Fluttershy and then make her dress from the Grand Galloping Gala Episode that would fit over it. I am still working out some design flaws but I think I should have it done within the next 7 days from today. Got all the material for it now I just need to make the cut outs and get to stitching and sewing. I love sewing. It really is a lot of fun. YAY FOR RARITYS TALENT COURSING THROUGH ME!!! lol

PS: If you are ever interested in having one made for you just let me know.

Sincerely Silva Silviak

hi

Hey everyone every furry and everypony... I want to start by saying to all the ones I've met locally that I am truly sorry for the way I acted during the last fur meet... If you wish to ridicule me then go for it please... I simply seek forgiveness... I understand most of you aren't comfortable around me and I understand why and I am truly sorry. Know that you won't have to worry about me going places after the meets with you all... I'm sure none of you would want that so I won't... I am truly sorry and I hope in due time you all can forgive me... again I am truly sorry... Call me a bitch call me an ass call me a mother fucker if you like... What ever you gotta say to vent for how I acted please say it... Now if you excuse me I'm going to go cry somewhere for being suck a sorry pony... I never meant to hurt anyone in any way..." goes off alone to a secluded place and curls up on the cold hard floor

IM A PONY NOW!!! lol Look in my deviations at my most recent picture nd you will see my character silva silviak. I am no longer a griffin and there are reasons for this that we will not be discussing. Now then I know I have neglected art and I shall be drawing alot more and finishing up the vore comic I started. I will also be doing a story off my new self. Oh, an I went to my first furry meet. Gotta say it was sad me being the only brony there but hey i represent bronys for life baby. Regardles met alot of wolfs and cats and a couple of dragons. was really cool and fun. cant wait for my next fur meet. I dressed up as Rainbow Dash it was so 20% cooler with me there. Anyways I will ttyl until next time <3

Hey everyone. For all those who know me I am the-micro-griffin. This is simply my new account because it is based off of my fursona Silva Silviak of course. Anyways, nice seeing you all so have a good one <3.