**Please ignore if you don't wanna read the ramblings of a broken man. **

Currently, i'm on holiday, and so far it's been alright, however it's highlighted that despite all the work i've done to try and heal myself, i'm no closer to being any happier.
Honestly, i feel like I'm held at arms length by most people. I'm just 'tolerated' and feeling more like I'm a burden on those people who talk to me somewhat regularly.

Being older these days, fewer people are willing to meet, either cause of previous experience or distance. I'm wandering is it even worth me sticking around on here much longer.
I've got some good friends in the community, but with the distances involved, and such, it still doesn't change the fact i live alone.

I'm honestly feeling like I'm destined to be permantly alone without going too much into it.

Well, this year's been a bit of a busy one for this mutt, for those whom read this. I'm grateful for those sticking around.

It kicked off with a trip in Feb to Iowa and Illinois over in the US for a week to work on battery packs, which proved quite interesting to see the US away from the tourist areas, and it's honestly crazy the difference in some areas, parts were very well kept, but then other parts were practically dystopian in how run down it was.

Later on I went out to Nords again, ran another few laps and met a few friends from online in general, and hit it off well, as I got to meet up again with a friend again a month later when i went back to Germany for playing with laser welding for work.

The house has progressed well, most of the major work baring the kitchen and bathroom has been completed though that needs me to save up and for now.. I can live with it. The place now is good enough I'm now bringing home my project car that's been in mothballs for the past 15 years or so and been a pipe dream till now. Plans are afoot to get a new welder, the required PPE and start making this dream a reality.

Also turned 42 back in October.. Life the universe and everything unlocked? who knows. It's kinda scary I've been on this website nearly 20 years now and gained a few good friends here, to those whom have been there for me past and present, thank you, you've been what kept me going in my darkest times.

Here's to 2025 hopefully not being quite so much of a crapshoot but .. we can only wait and see.
See you on the flip side

Aka.. I'm another year older, and probably the biggest news of my quiet corner here is that I've gone and brought a house.
It's take a good 7 years saving up and spending the last 2 years hunting and being bounced time and again till 1 finally worked out and i pick up the keys this Saturday

It's going to be 2 weeks of fun and such getting the place updated, decorated and a lot of purchases in the next few weeks but it'll be mine.

Off and away to a certain 24 hour race in France called Le Mans.

Will be back in a week or so.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NK_JOkuSVY

I understand some people didn't like the use of AI with the artwork, however listening to it in detail, it's like a emotional brick to the face.
RIP Chester.. you lost your battle against the demons but you helped so many people learn how to deal with theirs.

https://www.caranddriver.com/news/a.....en-block-dies/

Just woke up to hear the news. Such a shame to hear but from what I read, it was completely freak accident.
Leaves behind a wife and 3 kids

Well, as we close into the end of this year, things have been a bit fun for me which i haven't really mentioned here.
Firstly started off well enough, did place a few offers on houses.. but to no avail , though given the market's crashed here cause of some boneheads might be a blessing in 2023.
Hopefully next year I'll have more luck with finding a house given the changes lately.

As for myself, i now have a niece and nephew (1 and 3 years old) to deal with, and the news that my mother has been diagnosed with very early stages of lymphoma and a infection. Treatement's already started and hopefully next year should bring some news of her treatment being successful but it's still plays on this old mutt's mind. Also hit the big 4-0 back in October, though those that knew did wish me a good birthday, did get a track day to sort out in the new year too.

Work is .. work, still in the same job now for 6 years officially which is a record for me, pay's decent, hours give a good work life balance and plenty of holiday.
Down side is i missed out on getting tickets to Le Mans next year, they sold out just before christmas so high chances no return trip this year. However I'll probably go to Germany for the first time in a few years since the car's had it's engine refreshed, unless friends can help track down a ticket for me. We'll see.

Keep safe to those who read this and have a Merry holiday season and new years.

Well after getting back from France.. seems my parents caught Covid last weekend.
So guess who's got it now? muggins here too.

Though just feel tired, achy joints all over and a slightly tickly cough, Hopefully a few days rest will resolve it.

To everyone who's been a help through the past year, thank you and Merry Christmas or holidays depending what your preference is, and Happy New Year
This year's been quite trying , what with it kicking off with me ending up in hospital and having my appendix out, then to catch covid a week later, that was pretty scary.
Then spending most of this year without any means of transport with the car in the shop having it's engine rebuilt meant I missed out on a lot of shows I'd like to have attended, though did make it to the Retro Weekend at Goodwood.. will hopefully be doing that next year and asking if i can get some track time this time round with my car.

Still, I'm thankful for the friends who stuck by and put up with me, I know I'm not perfect by any means, just hoping next year I can move into my own place finally once I track something suitable down and move onto the next chapter of my life.

And another year vanished by like that, oh the joys of working from home.
Though hopefully in the next 12 months it'll be better than the last 12, given i'm now looking for a house of my own, health wise reasonably good again.

The past year has been quite the rollercoaster what with having to have had my appendix yanked out back in Feb after it tried to kill me, then only a week later, i caught the plague of Covid19... so that was fun.
It's also seen one of my 2 cars undergo 3 major overhauls which i've been wanting to do, and the lockdowns have provided the means to do so, with the final one hopefully wrapping up soon so i can focus on the next big move in my life to finally get a place of my own.

Would mean i could have a VR setup, and finally start a project as a tribute to a friend who passed last year and never got to see it completed.

The more well known, woudl be Michael Collins, the only person who wasn't able to watch the moon landings live... as he was in orbit in the command module for Apollo 11.
It'll be a while before anyone will be back to the moon , unfortuntatly it may not be within the original 12 men's life times.

The second, is more a recent legend, that of Juan Borja.. aka "The giggles" or the KEKW emote on twitch. and other platforms.
He at least knew his status as a meme means he brung many laughs to people all over the world.

His spirited commentry of Formula 1 has passed away aged 97.. I have so many good memories of his commentry through the years.
I was honestly so damned lucky to meet him in person and actually have a good deep chat about Formula Student which i competed in at unversity.

RIP Murray, you will be sorely missed. to quote yourself , "I've got to stop... I've got a lump in my throat. "

https://twitter.com/espnf1/status/1.....434814469?s=24

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-se.....=StinkyBlueRat

Cause it's so godamned funny xD

1st Covid19 test came back neagtive when i left the hospital, all good.
Did the 2nd one on Tuesday this week.. aaaaaaand Positive.. Fuck's sake..

So I'm stuck for 10 days and can't go anywhere..

And by that, i mean as of Monday, my appendix decided to screw itself up and after spending 36 hours in hospital, I'm now at my sisters recovering from the operation to remove it. General anaseisa's are.. fun.. @.@

Means i'll have some scars on my gut, thankfully it was keyhole but still.. next couple of weeks are going to be 'fun' while i'm recovering.

Given I'm not from the US and looking in from the outside, I've seen a few comments about freedom of speech from various things across the pond.

Thing is, when one posts on a website, you're not subject just to the local laws of one's country but also to that website's terms of service.
And if one was to post an opinion that's one of racial slurs, inciting violence or such, then one has just opened themselves up to the consequences of that action or actions.
If it means being banned from said website, and one goes off and starts blaming the hell out of the moderators doing their job, take a moment to check the terms of service if you can get ahold of them.

Any website, company or public body will not stand idly by and be used as means for spreading such opinions, especially given the events of the past week.

Simply put, think before you act or say something stupid. I've made that mistake myself, though some people don't learn no matter what you say to them.
Take a moment before you post dicussions and proof read it.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertai.....-arts-54761824

RIP Mr Bond., you brought the Bond series to the big screen and set the standard.

Happy Birthday to me. .woo

This mutt turns 38 as of today, though this year isn't really a good one what with everything going on.
Still could be worse.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertai.....-arts-53401026

RIP Grant Imahara, the work you did to show how fun and interesting Engineering is to the general public will be imotalized in media.
As a mechnical engineer myself, and a STEMS ambassedor these days, i can only do my best to follow your example.

I don't post often about personal things in here, but something happened tonight that i felt needs to be said.

Talk to your family, friends, whomever you feel you in confidence to, but don't let the demons in one's mind take them over.
There are helplines out there if you feel isolated but with all that's going on these past few weeks, the best thing is to keep talking, don't be afraid to vent and get what's bugging you off your chest.

I shan't go into details on what happened, but sufice it to say, call friends, family and check on how they're doing, you may not get another chance.
I say this especially to the guys whom watch me, drop the macho provado, it's not worth the mental pain bottling things up, take it from someone who does it a bit too much.

Well... another year rolls by and this mutt turns 37.

it's been a interesting one, and the first time i now have a nephew to take care of.
I'm getting closer to moving into my own place, probably as of next year, but with the stupidity of the current government here (which cost me a job already once in 2016.) I'm honestly considering putting roots down elsewhere in the world.

We'll see though, and for the short term, I'm working on doing a full PC build so i have a rig that's up to playing a few games both me and a friend are looking forwards to playing, being Cyberpunk 2077 and Borderlands 3.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-48345660

Considering the injuries he suffered in 76 and kidney / lung transplants he had later in life, he still fought on.
No-one's perfect but still, inspirational.

...Wow

Fave's have been Episodes 1, 4, 8, 10 and 13.. haven't watched beyond that.

I would highly recommend those ones especially but the whole series is well worth a binge on, thanks to  Darena_Bryant for tipping me off.

36 today, Wooo!

Learning to ski.. and achieved a goal not long ago of a sub 10 at Nurburgring, 9.42 infact.

Going to get the car mapped today then home for a meal out , so can't be all bad :P