I’ve been feeling brighter every day, and I’m itching to dive back into my art soon! But right now, I’m all about focusing on me and pouring my energy into things that spark joy.

A few weeks ago, things got a bit rocky when I invited a fur friend to stay with us while he job-hunted in my city. I laid out some clear ground rules: I wasn’t interested in him sexually or romantically, and no touching (hugs were cool, though!). But on his last day, as my husband and I helped him load his car, he crossed a line. Right before he left, he said, “I’ve been restraining myself long enough,” and touched my belly, then hard groped me. I was stunned, jumped back, forced a smile and a fake chuckle because people were around, and I didn’t want a scene. My husband saw it all, and when we got home, I was fuming. It really shook me and stirred up my trust issues, which wasn’t great for my mental health.

The past few weeks haven’t been the smoothest either—y’all probably know what I mean. But I’m channeling all that stress into something super positive: my fishy friends and their aquatic world!

I’ve been having a blast experimenting with potted plants in my fish tanks to boost water quality. I’m using these nifty little plant holders and mini hanging baskets (found ‘em on Amazon!) that keep the plants above the water while their roots dangle in, slurping up nitrates like nobody’s business. It’s like magic for cleaner water! So far, Pothos is the star of the show, turning my tanks into lush mini-jungles in no time. I’m so excited to try Monsteras and Spider Plants next! What started as a couple of tiny pots is now a full-on green explosion, and I barely need to do water changes since the nitrate levels are practically zero. The plants are thriving, growing like crazy, and it’s just so cool to watch!

But, there’s more! I’m also obsessed with aquatic plants. I’ve been using volcanic soils from Japan, and let me tell you, my plants are growing so wild I have to trim them every other month. It’s like an underwater forest! Now I’m itching to experiment with regular houseplant soils, capped with sand to keep things tidy, to see if I can grow aquatic plants on a budget. I’m all about finding affordable ways to make my tanks thrive!
I’m also testing root tabs—slow-release fertilizers for nutrient-poor substrates—in my 75-gallon tank, which is rocking just plain sand. I’m geeking out over which ones work best! And speaking of sand, I’m all about those budget hacks: I use play sand from the hardware store—50 pounds for like $4—compared to aquarium sand that’s $20 for a measly 5 pounds. I’m also making my own reusable filters instead of tossing out those pricey cartridge replacements, saving money and the planet. I even collect tree branches, boil them to sterilize, and pop them in my tanks as decor. Same with rocks—I’m learning which ones are inert and safe, skipping the pet store’s crazy prices.

All this fishy, planty goodness is pure Zen for me. It’s like my tanks are little underwater gardens, and every day I get to play mad scientist and create something beautiful. It’s keeping my spirits high and my heart happy!

Also, I’m gearing up for surgery in early October to finally get rid of a nasty ganglion cyst that’s been plaguing me for a decade and a half. It’s super painful and makes working out or even using my right hand—my drawing arm, of all places—a total nightmare. The surgery’s no biggie, though—just a quick knockout, wake up with a wrist brace, and head home the same day. Once it heals, I’ll be able to work out and use my arm properly again. A while back, my husband tried the “Bible method” to smash it with a massive hardcover book. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work, and it hurt like hell!

Wish me luck!

It’s been a rough day, and I hope you’re all doing okay.

I’ve got something serious to share. A fur that calls himself "Fenrir" (There are like hundreds that do I know) has been spreading lies about me, claiming I “stole his pets” when I’ve never even met him. Ever.

This all started earlier today when he confronted me about someone (we will call Pyro,) who I’ve been close with for months, and tried to intimidate us. Fenrir calls people that dislike him pedophiles and spreads said lies — as he's done to Pyro's friend that stood up to Fenrir's nonsense.

He’s been blackmailing and scaring people, saying he can hack others and have his ways to get people's personal info and claiming to have their addresses—like telling Pyro at this afternoon, today (5/30/25) that he sent a collar(Off Amazon) to Pyro, and changed his mind and have it redirected to himself and then burned the collar, trying to scare Pyro into thinking his info was compromised. This isn’t okay.

I’ve been in the furry community since the old school days, and I’ve always stood for trust and care. Fenrir’s living in a distorted reality, gaslighting others to control them, and I’m not here for it. I’ve already blocked him everywhere. Let’s focus on supporting each other and keeping our community the loving place it’s always been.

I have not seen any new notifications for art in submissions by the people I watch for the past 3 days after the big update. Anyone else having this issue?

A friend of mine fell victim to a scam that seemed legitimate at first.

However, we furries have a unique way of communicating that differs from others. Most of us check in on each other and show affection—especially if one or both are struggling—before getting to the point.
This person asked how I was doing, and I replied, "Tired with a migraine." They simply said, "Okay," before asking me a question. I know this furry well, and he is far more affectionate than that. That was a major red flag.

The question was about a game they claimed to be working on called Crowsworn. This raised another red flag because I know my friend well, and if he were working on something big, he would have told me. After they asked the question, I responded, "Okay, when?"

The scammer sent a link and, in classic scammer fashion, urged me to click it immediately. This is a common tactic, as scammers hate wasting time. They aim to compromise an account or instill fear to demand money before moving on to the next victim. For those unaware, Discord scams often involve stealing a user’s account and demanding gift cards or cryptocurrency, which are difficult to trace. Combined with money laundering, it makes recovery nearly impossible.

The link to watch out for is Crows-worn-Beta[dot]com.

I didn’t click it, but a quick search revealed the site is very new.

To confirm whether this was my friend or a scammer, I deployed what I consider the most advanced tactical arsenal—too sophisticated for any scammer to overcome, no matter how hard they try. It’s a strategy so brilliant it would make DARPA blush. I asked, "What is my real nickname?" This high-IQ question, crafted by me, is designed to thwart any scammer’s plans. It’s impassable because I only share my nickname with close friends... though I also use it almost everywhere as my username with careless abandon. Still, my brilliance shone through. The scammer was floored by my question and responded with, "for?"

My superior intellect triggered my trap card.

As for my friend, he was unfortunately forced to create a new Discord account. Discord moderators pale in comparison to the towering competence of Steam moderators, who actively help users recover compromised accounts. Discord moderators are notoriously lazy. If your Discord account is compromised, you’re better off making a new one.

Moral of the story: Wolves are the superior species, and never click a link from anyone unless you know the website and are 100% certain it’s from a trusted friend.


inferno — 9:56 PM
how are you ?

Nexus Tao — 9:58 PM
Tired with a migraine

inferno — 9:58 PM
okay
can i ask question

Nexus Tao — 9:58 PM
Whats up?

inferno — 10:00 PM
me and my friend made a new project, can you help us to finish?

Nexus Tao — 10:00 PM
Give me the details

infernofolfy — 10:02 PM
It's 2D adventure project, we need peoples who can play and give review for 5-10 minutes.

Nexus Tao — 10:06 PM
Okay when?

(Scammer sends link)

inferno — 10:15 PM
if u dont mind
can u do it now ?

Nexus Tao — 10:15 PM
Before I do. What is my real Nickname?

inferno — 10:17 PM
for?

Nexus Tao — 10:17 PM
I mean... to know its really you and this isn't a malicious link.
[10:18 PM]
It should be easy if you are Inferno. We know each other for a long time.
Hello?
Nexus Tao — 10:29 PM
Well?

Am I tripping or is everything is in Comic Sans. It's really bugging my eyes. x.x

I got the stomach flu this past Sunday. Nausea, Aches, Chills, running tot he bathroom. It got bad for me. I kept myself hydrated. I'm better and recovering now.

Now my husband is sick. Fever, chills, running to the bathroom. He has water near him, vitamins, and medicine too. He's under three different layers of blankets. His fever is at 100.5, but his blood sugar levels are stable. He's going through the first phase of this virus as I have.

I am going to make apple sauce and rice porridge for him when I can.

Hello.

I want to start by saying, I have been studying myself the past few years. It is hard to wrap my head around it, but I think I am finally getting it and getting better too.

I want to talk about a disease

I honestly wish that there was more awareness for this mental disorder called Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD.) A disease that has some theories in the 1940s, and in the 1980s picked up steam and is now in the DSM-III. I have it myself and it's a personality disorder.

It shares very similar symptoms to bipolar, but with varied differences and can be sort of treated with SSRIs but not fully like how there are medications to target bipolar specifically. I have been studying more and more, and trying to better myself. Find the triggers before the manifest into unreasonable anger.

The more I learn about it, the more I learn about myself. People with BPD do not know who they really are and their identity can shit from one moment to the next. They feel they're constantly changing depending the people they are with or the situation. But, have so solid sense of core identity. Sometimes I do feel like I am playing a role rather than be myself around certain people.

This can also mean self image and decisions about personal direction, long term goals. which are a challenge for people with BPD. Struggling with career choices and relationships and hobbies based on how we feel in the moment. One moment I feel like being a mechanic this week and the next week I feel like I should work in IT.

This is because of key aspect of feeling emptiness or being unfulfilled. People with BPD feel like they are always trying to fill void, but aren't sure what they are searching for: Be connection, purpose or identity.

Then there's the intense fear of abandonment. Easily triggered by a sense of withdrawal or rejection by others. Even small changes in behavior or communication can make a person with BPD feel like they are being abandoned. Such as a text message or phone call taking a few hours from people they are close with.

-Another example, when your friend lives with you as roommates and they have a boyfriend or girlfriend they want to move in with. Normal people will congratulate. People with BPD will likely feel rejected or abandoned: And this can create a strong surge of angry emotions. It feels like the roommate or friend is choosing someone else over the bond they share. The anger comes from a mix feelings of fear, hurt, and betrayal and feeling abandoned.

-Another example is when a place like a furry con. Your friends keep leaving you to wander off when such a place is meant to bring people together. It can feel we are left out in the cold. Especially feeling isolated or ignored in a place surrounded by crowds of people we do not know. This creates anger by the abandonment we feel and it can be amplified by flight or fight response being in such a overwhelming place.

The it all touches the deep feeling rejection, and people leaving people with BPD behind can feel devastating to the sufferer. Feeling unwanted or unimportant, which will trigger extreme emotions of anger. It can be a painful and paralyzing experience which I myself experience many-a-times to keep count.

At the same time the feeling off abandonment can create a push and pull effect where the sufferer will do things that will push people away before the person has a chance to leave. Or test the realtionship, or act in a way for the other person to get frustrated. This is a defensive mechanism of people with BPD to avoid feeling abandoned first. This can also what is called splitting. where the sufferer sees the person all good or all bad depending on the sufferer's emotional state.

This can make relationships with a person with BPD very rocky and unstable as one day they feel they are loved and the next day they feel alone, lost and unwanted and they test you or do things to frustrate you. The feeling if rejection is absolutely painful, so all this testing and doing things to make a relationship tense is a defensive mechanism than a offensive. it is all to avoid the pain of abandonment first. The feeling of abandonment or rejection is extremely painful to the sufferer.

People with BPD are prone to risky behaviors. Reckless behavior such as street racing to preforming high injury stunts, drugs, drinking, spending too much money by gambling, and engaging in risky sexual behaviors. The adrenaline and pleasure helps the sufferer feel good and validated.

People with BPD are hyper aware of sudden changes in a person how they are contacted.

People with BPD can put people on a pedestal without even thinking about it as it comes automatically. They don't see people as multiple things. Example Jane my next door neighbor is nice to me. So I see her as nice only in my head. However if I see her bringing home a different guy every couple of months. My brain will automatically put her on a pedestal saying she is a wh*re. Looking right pass how nice she is. So I will distance myself as I feel unsafe around her. The sufferer places people on such pedestals to choose who they want to engage and feel safe with. This is called splitting. Fear of abandonment, or dysregulation comes with BPD. There for the feeling of untrustworthiness and intense emotional response might shut Jane out and distancing myself from her completely.

Idealizing and devaluing people comes with people with BPD. Seeing the person and perfect or worthless or harmful. There's no in between. This can create very rocky relationships. This alone makes it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with a BPD sufferer as they can shift so rapidly and intensely. At the same time BPD sufferers may feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells to avoid triggering that emotional flip that might lead to distancing.

This means that they wont say things about the imperfections of another person they're close to, and keep it all bottled up to avoid feeling abandoned. That is until they step on a eggshell and they blow up a very intense, out of proportion, or in dysregulation. They keep it all bottled in afraid of rocking the boat or be abandoned if they come out saying the flaw they don't like about a person. Overtime they will start to feel more resentful or mistrust for the partner or friend, but still do their best to ignore it. The feeling of coming out about the flaws and being abandoned eggs BPD suffers on: To keep quiet about it to preserve the connection.

This also could likely stem from difficulty expressing their emotions. Emotional regulation and expressing themselves.

How to try to be stable in a relationship with someone with BPD.

As frustrating as challenging it can be to be with someone with BPD, a stable relationship is very possible. People with BPD can feel overwhelmed by unpredictability, or changes in a relationship. Consistency in your behavior and communication helps build trust and creates a sense of good safety with the sufferer.

Be reliable in your actions, like showing up on time or following on promises.

Set boundaries, but be compassionate too. let them know what risky behaviors you aren't willing to put up with.

Validate their emotions. It don't mean you have to agree, but acknowledge it as the feelings are real and important. This greatly reduces the intensity of emotional reactions. "Saying things like "I can see you are upset and hurt right now and it makes sense why you feel that way." or "I understand you feel abandoned here, and I am here for you." while keeping calm and neutral. Help them feel safe.

Encourage them to engage in coping mechanisms. DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) which are specifically designed for people with BPD help manage their emotions, and ground them, and develop better coping strategies. For me it's to meditate and focus on my breathing. Other sufferers have their own way that works for them once they develop it.

But also protect yourself. Be clear and consistent what you are willing and unwilling to do. Ask for space when you feel overwhelmed. If they are feeling overwhelmed give the sufferer space.

Be open and honest with your emotions. Listen to each other and support one another. Show them they can trust you without fear of judgment.

Of course seek professional help/guidance. Therapy that teaches DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) helps greatly. CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) can also help while practicing DBT.

SSRIs (Anti-depression medication) can also help people with BPD for co-occurring conditions like depression anxiety and mood instability. It isn't the first line of treatment but it can help reduce the symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Above all else, people with BPD when they are angry and pushing people away, they can say things that hurts badly. The sufferer never really means it as later when things cool off, the sufferer will feel intense emotional guilt and regret. The sufferer is just pushing first so they don't feel the crushing pain of abandonment. Understand they don't mean it at all.

---

The pros about people with BPD.

People with BPD may seem difficult, but their emotions are authentic as gold.

They're one of the kindest people you'll ever meet. They are extremely good with kids and people as they are passionate sharing very positive connections to those around them.

People with BPD have a very strong desire for connection. As much as connection can manifest into feeling abandoned or emotional intensity: People with BPD are loyal, loving and committed to their relationships. Once they find a connection they trust and feel connected to, we will go above and beyond to support and care for the person. Acts of services or gift giving.

Example: I give art freely to people I formed strong bonds with I trust. I will spend days without complaining passionately drawing for the person for no pay. I will go out of my way to get gifts.

While emotions overwhelm us, people with BPD are genuine, loyal and committed to people they trust and will strive to maintain their interactions

People with BPD have intense loyalty and commitment. Their crave for connection and acceptance can make people with BPD the most loyal of partners allowing them to form powerful and strong bonds with friends, family or partners. Once someone earns the trust of someone with BPD, they can be and fiercely protective and supportive with little to no second thoughts. As their relationship and trust grows,
the connections can be positively transformative and powerful,

They value authenticity and truthfulness. People with BPD can be very honest and truthful, especially about their emotions, dreams, vulnerabilities and struggles. Same time they fear lying to others, as they know that it can sever relationships.

Because people with BPD often experience emotions to an extreme level. We can form deep empathy and have empathetic intuition. Being hyper sensitive, we can tell when someone is down very easily. Even the slightest change of mood, a person with BPD will pick that up and is drawn to provide support even without being told to directly.

Also they have a very strong creative streak. People with BPD when they do art, be poetry, music or art, it's very authentic. Seeing or hearing their art, and you can pick up how they are feeling truly in their soul.

People with BPD can be incredibly motivated to improve themselves and their circumstances. Their experience in intense emotional turmoil makes them seek ways to improve their mental health.

I hope this was informative in understanding this spectrum of personality disorder.

To all my friends and loved ones

꧁Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year꧂

༺❤︎༻

Another day another drama.

Big story short someone liked me, we'll call him N. He wanted me but knew my marriage is the only thing stopping him. It wasn't until, someone named H came in.

See H was in a relationship with someone else. However he wanted N. He would get jealous and depressed when he sees N showing me affection. This made me feel very awkward about H.

Two weeks later after some little drama with that, N and H hitched up turning H's relationship into a poly.

N still wanted me, but I didn't feel the same because he was partnered to two others now. Poly relationships tend to be very tough and require tons of attention. I feel like there isn't any room for N and I as close friends with favors anymore. I want him to focus that energy into H and the other.

N was still very possessive about me, he wanted to be my master. I should have said no, but I said it's fine. I allowed it. N also gets super jealous when other furs show me affection. He would step in between the others and I "This is my pet Nexus. He is mine."

This continued on for a long time. First it was cute, but then it got embarrassing. This especially intensified when N's mother has cancer and needed treatment. I was there for him when he was sad and needed support.

Then things just changed. It got political first. It was a argument because someone was blaming groups of people for no reason. I tried explaining the real reason to his problem. People got upset and we backed off.

Then I got tired of N being jealous of others showing me affection. I tried to explain to him, set some boundaries. Tell him I still love him and care about him and there isn't any need to become jealous. N grew cold quick. He doesn't say Hi in the morning anymore. Chats are short and brief.

Lastly my friend, we'll call K, was having a real hard time. His mate was gone without a word for a week. His mate is my friend too, and I was there to comfort him when he needed someone the most. He calm down. I forgot how the conversation started but it boiled down to me saying the age of consent should be 18 all over the world.

N came into this conversation and some reason it reminded him of the political fight we had awhile ago. N and I argued and he DEMANDED I apologize to the people I've offended. I said "I know, I said nothing offensive, all I did was say facts." I stood my ground where I didn't need to apologize for stating facts.

We had a few spats on the following days, but nothing came of it. We made up thanks to another friend named M, and I was hoping things would go back to normal. I was planning to have a movie night with N and be there for him.

A week later today, things blew up out of proportion.

I showed N a meme, of a man taking LSD saying "If God won't answer your prayers, go to God's door." Now N took it as a su1c1de joke and found it offensive. I tried to explain to him it wasn't and gave him the run down what LSD was with a small history lesson from the 1950s and 1960s and the counterculture war it was involved in. I would never joke about su1c1de as it isn't funny to joke about. N wouldn't hear any of it.

So I tried to go to H, ask him to help N understand the real joke behind the meme was. H was smart, and I backed he is knowledgeable on LSD and can help N understand. Nope, H got bent out of shape. He told me the joke was offensive. I'm like O.O "Okay everyone else I shown it too seems to laugh at it."

Here where it gets interesting. I tried to tell H, it's just a joke. He still gets bent out of shape about it. Then he escalates this saying I'm dismissive of others feelings. I am asking how.

Big story when I asked him "Oh you just are! You just are." in a nutshell without giving exact details.

Then H retort with a question to mine "Do you remember when I removed you off my friend's list?

Me: "What this has to do with anything? I'll indulge you. A few days ago."

H: "No it was back in October"

Me: "No that is not true because two weeks ago (Start of December) I tried coming to you. I saw your name on my friend's list. I wanted to hang out with you and N, because I was tired mentally picking infected fish eggs from a leaf."

(Context: I breed angelfish. The unfertilized eggs can die and cause a fungal outbreak that kills the other healthy eggs. Using a non needle syringe, it takes mental focus to pick off infected eggs and not crush the healthy ones.)

So I caught him in a lie.

H then tries blaming me for all his problems of me not caring for him. He says I am dismissive of him and others feelings.

I tried to be open and say "I am not good picking up social ques. I am sorry you tried but you have to be direct with me."

He lies again saying he has.

And I am like "NO. If you did I would have remembered. We never once we sat down to have such a discussion on this. Also if I am hurting you and others you claim, why not keep bringing it up to me? We haven't talk for like two-three weeks." (Context: H stopped talking to me as a friend and gaming with me after I set boundaries with N. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.)

H keeps on claiming I've changed. And I keep telling him "I've never changed." I asked him to show me proof, examples. Witnesses. He could provide nothing but his word.

I tried to be open with him. Relate to him. Express with him. I did my best to ask him repeatedly tell me how he is feeling. "Go back and read" he keeps telling me. Now I feel like he is trying to play basketball with my head. The more open I'm trying to be open, the more he gaslights me.

"N almost k1lled himself." "You don't remember? You are a awful person for not remembering." "N right now was picking crying because he found out you do not remember this he right now ran off to his mother and crying."

I replied "I wouldn't have dismissed him like that. I love him."

H replies with: "You did you basically told him that because he let the other person get in his head it was his fault"

I then asked myself: "What other person? Who? You keep bringing up said people, but never a name anything of value and proof!"

I finally had it. My patience wore thin, and I was tired of being gas lit and lied to in my face. H is presenting himself as the victim of my actions, trying to manipulate my emotions by invoking N’s distress. This tactic aims to make me feel responsible for others’ feelings in an effort to guilt me into doing something or feeling a certain way.

And shifting the blame H, seems to be deflecting from his own role in the conflict and instead shifting responsibility back onto me.

I couldn't believe it anymore H would do this to me.

So I asked him to leave me alone.


Me: Please.... leave me alone.
Me: Just until I can feel strong having to converse with you once more. You shifting everything onto me, when I spilt my heart how I think and you took advantage of that.

I was reaching a very personal and emotional tipping point. Expressing that I need space is a healthy response when emotionally overwhelmed or taken advantage of my vulnerability.

No H kept harassing me sending me messages and voice messages one after another after another and another. I asked him to please stop and he wouldn't. He kept harassing me over and over. But I stick to my boundaries like glue and he hated that. He deleted our logs and said I was a toxic person (for not reading his messages and listening to his voice messages)


And that is that. H open my eyes that he is a terrible person for doing this to me.

Please tell me your honest thoughts about all this.

I cannot stop laughing at this.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10974985/

Here is the link to Kwik's journal about scammers trying to find victims through his watchers list and contact victims through telegram (if the victims have telegram.)

Normally artists wait for people to come to them for commissions. Not the other way around, so if a furry artist comes to you offering you art for money, that is a red flag.

But also the first part can be just as much as a advantage for scammers by setting up fake ads. The best way to know for sure is to find the artist's page on FA, SF, DA ect ect and look them up and contact them.

I have a friend that will need a home soon-ish. He's a U.S Army vet, kind, soft, and gentle hearted. He wants to find work and get on his own feet. He is looking for a long term roof over his head and to help contribute to bills and rent while he saves up for his own place.

I would help him myself, but I got no place for him to stay currently. So I hope this reaches out to someone that needs a roommate and make a new friend too.

Some info here. https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58204683/

DANTE MY BLACK CAT HAS GROWN INTO A XENOMORPH! SEND HELP!

Ever since Aliens 4 where the clone of Ripley, and that damn thing that followed her around like a lost puppy while murking everyone else, the Alien movie series has been going down the toilet. Same thing can be said for the modern games with great exception to Alien Isolation and Aliens Fireteam, which I really liked. F*** you, Colonial Marines.

It just seems like fictional evil corporations Weyland Yutani manage to get an IQ of every human alive in existence and sent the most incompetent the ones to colonize planets and explore space. If this was canon then yeah it make a ton of sense. "Clean the human gene pool! Send in the dumb ones to space to deal with the dangers first." Were it true that the Xenomorphs haven't out smarted their scientists and engineers that built failed contraptions to try and collect Xenomorphs. I am talking to you Aliens 4. The metal cage to hold creatures that have acid for blood!

I thought Alien Romulus would be different from the trailers. And the trailer did not fool me, it was 2/3rds of the movie that did. The beginning and middle of the movie was great superb.

*Spoilers*

The hallway full of face huggers and the characters that had to run through them, the Xenomorphs coming in waves as the character solo kills them in Zero G. And you feel for these Teenagers willing to risk it all to find a better world to live on and not die like their parents cause the mines are causing sicknesses and cancer to the inhabitants.

Then the last 1/3rd of the movie is like having slurry of sand and mud slung at my face. The combined the endings of a humanoid Xenomorph from Aliens 4 with the ending of covenant. This hybrid that came out of a pregnant teenager, the frontal upper side looked like the engineers while the back and lower side looked like a Xenomorph. It some reason had a mission to kill the final surviving character who is the protagonist. It looked LAME. https://www.scified.com/u/IMG_20240818_113346.jpg

It grins like a psycho, which no Xenomorph would. Canon: Xenomorphs don't have advance emotions, or gain satisfaction from hunting. They're biological weapons that are a mind hive and will do anything for the colony. They can only experience anger if their kind is threatened or killed, or fear if they know something is a threat to them and needs to be ether neutralized or it's too much to take on and flee. All the while they're smart and crafty, especially the ones that emerge out of human hosts.

*Spoilers end*

The ending left me extremely dissatisfied that I give this movie a 3 out of 5. It would get so much lower if the movie was mid, but again, the beginning and middle of the movie *Chef's kiss!* The ending though I thumbs down on it very hard.

TLDR: All is good with me. The past few months, I've been seeing doctors of all kinds to get my health back on track. Doing great now.

Sorry I haven't been drawing or been around. I have been prioritizing my health over everything else. Nothing serious has happened to make me take this path. It was a thought that I am at the age where things need to be taken more serious when it comes to my well being. And that I'm not young and able to heal as quick anymore. I've been seeing my doctor more and we've taken steps to up my health a bit more.

Also I am seeing my dentist more, he found three of my teeth are loose. I'm seeing a specialist this October to get a bone graft done. Other then that, I got no other problems with my mouth.

I had blood work done, and the good news is, I got a clean bill of health. No STIs. No sign of diabetes. Immune to Hepatitis B and I got a Hepatitis A vaccine shot last week. This is great since I also quick smoking for two years, and quit drinking and smoking marijuana for 8 years too.

My mental health is doing better and better. My antidepressant medication working for my MDD and OCD. I'll be seeing a CBT or DBT therapist hopefully soon. I am in a better mindset and there are some days where it gets hard to deal with what is going on with my mind, it isn't as bad as before.

Lastly I will be taking up my aquarium hobby again, this time I'm experimenting with lava soils to see what is the best for growing aquatic plants. It will be a waiting game for several months to see any very noticeable results. My tarantula hobby is still strong, just... Tarantulas are like pet rocks, they stand still all day. I need animals that are on the move constantly so fish meets that criteria I seek.

Things are looking better for me now.

I am sorry to the friends and family to Dragoneer. He passed away and it's unfortunate that we lost one of the Titans that brought the furry community closer.

I never met the man to know him personally. I do remember literally bumping into him in AC 2010 when I was in a hurry and running and I made a right around a corner and there he was. We bodied each other. I apologized profusely to him. He said he was okay when I was looking over him to make sure I didn't hurt him.

May God take him into heaven where he will spend eternity in happiness and bliss.

I got a new cat. A kitten to be exact, and I've named him, Dante. He's a black kitten and I always wanted one since I was a kid and Sabrina the Teenage Witch aired. I always thought Salem, the talking black cat was really cool.

Originally the names, Salem, Jiji, or Uziel floated in my head. Jiji is the name of a talking black cat in the Studio Ghibli Film, Kiki's Delivery Service. Uziel is a Hebrew name, but mainly I know that name from Mechwarrior 4. A very formidable medium class mech with powerful (PPC) cannons and ballistic arsenals.

My Husband  SpikedPunchWolf suggested other names and he brought up, Dante. It seemed like the right name for a male black cat. Dante, a name that is from Dante's Inferno. I was thinking this name is relative because in Egyptian mythology, cats were considered the guardians of the underworld.

Sorry for making you read all that, here's a video of Dante playing with a toy. He was playing with that toy for a good half an hour.

https://x.com/i/status/1809666201053982744

Family, Freedom, Fireworks

Happy Birthday America!

I'm the big 38. Woo! Hubby got me a cute cake (link) and my gift from him is a shelving unit so I've more room for bigger and more enclosures for my tarantulas. If you told me 5-6 years ago I'd be keeping tarantulas, I'll say "You friggin' are crazy!" Now I have a real soft spot for these eight legged giants of the arachnid world, that I am asking for gifts on such to help me expand my arachnid hobby.

It has got to a point I want to specialize in arboreal species (Tarantulas that live in the trees or tall places.) Especially the ornata species, or the ornamental spiders. These tarantulas hail from India, with beautiful fractal patterns, brilliant colors and the easy to tell sexual dimorphism (Arachnophobia warning link.) However, these tarantulas exhibit a very spicy behavior, near teleporting eye blinking speeds, and very medically significant venom that causes so much pain to make tough men cry. AKA, NOT FOR BEGINNERS OR INTERMEDIATE. Don't worry: I have one I raised to an adult, an ornamental peacock tarantula. I have another I am raiding the ornamental regalis to further leanr how to handle these spicy spiders.

I am also thinking of getting huntsman spiders too. Big speedy bois and gurls! I'm very grateful my husband is helping me expand on this hobby.

---

Also I'm still getting mentally better slowly, I've improved significantly by a lot. I will be taking therapies soon. My psychiatrist says I will benefit the most from PTSD therapy. And for my harm OCD, I'm learning to not let terrible thoughts invade my head for long. I'm taking this guy's advice to heart: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0k7.....now-NoahThomas
(But also remember if you have intrusive thoughts that's upsetting the balance of your life, to have professionals at yourside. Do not depend on what you find online alone.)

I found another fur who suffers the same thing where his spouse keeps the knives and guns locked away from his reach. We're learning from each other what we do about it. Having someone else in a fandom that I like that also suffers from intrusive thought, makes me feel like I'm not alone in this.

Right now I'm also aiming for exposure therapies. Almost the same for people with exposure therapies for phobias, I too will be doing therapies under a watchful eye around weapons and tools that can cause harm like kitchen knives. I need to kick my amygdala in the ass and tell it that it's okay to be around such things and have such thoughts as everyone gets them. My brain was targeting my morals and desires as a person, putting it all in the spot light and making me feel as if I'm a monster. This can drive people crazy to the point of su***de because they think they are saving people from themselves. I was near that myself a few times.

I had a friend who I thought was a good person, but he turned out to be awful. We'll call him Fox.

Big story short, he was there for me during my mental health crisis late last year and we build a close bond. However, the past two months I been making more friends and specifically he hardcore HATE targeted a friend of mine we'll call Bear. He got Jealous I was spending time with Bear when he wasn't around except in the late evenings. He claims all Bear was to me is someone I use for sex, and why I was spending time with him. It hurt him a lot, when really, Bear his friends and I just chill in VRC and watch movies, or find places to chill and vibe, or find something to blow up.

Bear is a good person, and I was introducing him to movies he never seen. The Matrix trilogy, Belle, Redline (Anime) and many more movies and shows. We just chill in a big pile and watch movies. Fox got so jealous, that he came to me and gave me a ULTIMATUM: It was either him or Bear. I was tired and he caught me off guard with this ultimatum. Drama ensued and a couple of days later he saw he made a fat mistake, but the damage was done.

I also learned HE LIED about our relationship to our friends. He claimed I was his boyfriend when clearly that isn't true. I'm a married man, and would never claim anyone as a boyfriend or girlfriend, ever. Our friends got angry at me thinking I was cheating on him with Bear. Once it was cleared up I was married and I had no other boyfriends, it became apparent he lied.

This of course infuriated me, because I love no one more than First, God, and my Husband second. I would never accept anyone else to be a boyfriend/girlfriend or Husband/wife. And I will never lie about my relationship or deceive my husband.

It was a lot of Drama. And I cared a lot about fox. A week later I did the mature thing, by forgiving him and giving him another chance. Many would see that as foolish, and you'd be right. Because his closest friend, we will name Blue along with our other common friends told me NOT TO FORGIVE HIM. Not to give him another chance. I did forgive because I wanted to lead by example that people deserve another chance.

---

Here are some details a little before and after the drama above happened.

1.) I work for a club in VRC as a bouncer. Like Second Life I'm there to kick out minors as this club is a 18+ establishment and make sure people are behaving. I log off, and relax after away from VRC to recharge my social battery. This club is were Bear and I work at.

2.) Over two weeks ago I had a big scare of an abscess infection in my mouth. On the 4th day I noticed, this wasn't going away by itself anytime soon. First I went to urgent care and they prescribed me antibiotics and I went to the dentist for an emergency looksie, and they cleaned my mouth. three of my teeth are failing and I'm going to need bone grafting done soon. This put me in a very depressed mood, and what is worst, I found only one Periodontist that accepts my insurance in my city. I even called out of town, far away like Chicago. Why? The one that accepts my insurance has a 6 month waiting list. So I got to be very vigilant as if another infection occurs it can infect the loose teeth, and they're gone for good.

3.) I been made more self aware that I need to sleep better. With my VRC job, art stuff and RL job, I need to have more restful energy. I am very proud to say I quit coffee. and relying on my body to make the stamina I need. However to obtain this I need better rest. I practically don't stay past midnight at most anymore So, the past month I've been sleeping better. So I'm not online in late evenings to the very early mornings like I use to be. The rest is helping maintain my depression to, from the fiasco with my teeth.

4.) Blue runs a discord group, its for gaming and chilling out. Before the drama and my health depression with my mouth, I would sit a lot in this group alone, and stream my games. This is of course in the early to late afternoon or mornings. In the late evenings, it's different. People come and game a lot. This can last from sunset to sunrise and most of the time it does even way after sunrise.

5.) With me sleeping in a more timely manner, I an not on Blue's Discord group as often as I use to be. Heck, I don't play multiplayer games with my friends as I use to. If I do game, it's Fallout 4, or Starcraft 2 versus A.I, or Cyberpunk. When I do game in VRC, its whoever grabs my attention first I will go play with such as Prison Escape, Murder 4, Black Out, Ghost, or Killer Night.

6.) I'm trying to get in touch with my Chinese roots and I am learning Chinese.

7.) Fox became cold and distant even though I was more than happy to let the healing begin and the second chance grow our friendship anew. I asked other friends for other their opinions to see anything I overlooked. One of them pointed out that Fox may see me as a icon of his mistake. The next day, I asked Fox if he sees me as a mistake he has done and not as a person. He tells me no. <<< This is very important.

8.) It's tornado season. I live in Tornado Alley. I been getting slammed by storms with powerful storm cells left and right! So, I am watching the news most of the time when this happened and the past two weeks has been powerful storms back to back to back to back.

9.) I want to get back into Blender to learn and possibly update my art portfolio.

So, I haven't been talking to Fox or our common friends and playing with them as often as I would like, because depression, work, and other distractions.

---

After the drama and I forgiven Fox, I made him promise himself, to never lie and take his anger out on people he cares about. However, Fox seemed very cold and distant. I thought perhaps he needed time (I was right when this was confirmed by a common friend of ours). So, I did try to initiate the chat. I would send art pics or little RP affection. He either does not reply or barely replies.

The past 3 days I intentionally messed up my sleep schedule. Why?... A man, we will call Wolf, wants to teach me Blender, the 3D program that is very difficult to learn. He's in the UK and a friend of Bear and I. My husband Spiked, allowed me to do this to learn the program. I never had a teacher before and I'm not wasting this opportunity.

With my sleep schedule all broken again, I can spend late nights playing with my friends while I wait for Wolf to become free from work.... or so I thought. I saw Fox and he was very cold and distant, he claims he had a hard day at work but, I know that isn't true that even bad days at work he is much more chipper.

We got into a fight. And I found out Fox broke his promise and is a habitual liar.

Fox lied so much. I talked to him and he was just spitting vitriol and venom at me. Caught him in several lies.

1.) He claims I stopped talking to friends in Blue's group, because a week ago, Bear got removed from Blue's Discord group. I'm a fake friend.

I didn't know Bear was removed from the group. Even Bear never let me know. A man we will name Pyro, that is a friend of Fox and I, told me last night that Bear got removed.

I never stopped joining Blue's VC, I was dealing with a mouth infection, nonstop dangerous storms coming my way and wanting to learn how to do Blender. I was taking a break. And when I could be on, it was early in the day when most of the common friends between Blue, Fox and I weren't around. So I'd be alone in VC waiting for someone as I game away.

---

2.) He claims he never saw me as a icon of his mistake from lying and the Ultimatum.

When we fought, I asked him again, and he admitted yes he saw me as a Icon if his mistake of hurting me with that Ultimatum. So he lied to me from the very start. I even told him before: "If you see me as a mistake on someone you hurt, please don't. See me as a person, as I still care about you."

---

3.) He keeps claiming Bear is trash talking about him.

Bear never said a word to be honest after I forgiven Fox. When Fox gave me the ultimatum, Bear saw me very hurt and he hates seeing the people he cares about hurting. When I forgiven Fox, he left it at that. Around this time after the Drama, I got Bear hooked to the new Fallout series on Amazon Prime. He won't stop talking about that, wanting to see what happens to the protagonist, Lucy! I never heard him ever talk about Fox ever again.

---

4.) Fox says all I want is friends to ERP with.

Fox lied in front of Pyro and I saying Pyro caught me ERPing. Pyro corrected him saying "No I was there and saw him and Bear working (At the club), He (Silver) was with friends. They weren't ERPing"

We don't ERP at our job as minors do come there as we have to filter and kick them away from the club. We ensure the guests there are safe and having a pleasant experience and it can get chaotic with 50+ people visiting the instance.

---

5.) Fox claims I go off to ERP with people all the time. And don't want people that won't ERP with me. He has people that tell him.

Not true, as I have friends that are straight, and friends I see no more then that. I've only a handful of people I'm intimately close with, and that includes my husband. When I go off with my friends, we watch movies, dork around or blow up things, or stab each other or game with besides VRC when times allows.

Do I tease people sexually? Yeah, only if they are gay and don't mind it. Does it mean I want them? Absolutely not.

People I trust and are intimate with I will expose my neck to them. My father held knives to my throat threatening to kill me, "I shall cut your throat like a lamb!" So anyone that reaches for my neck or throat I will freak out. If I expose my neck to someone: It means I feel safe with them and I really like them A LOT. It's my way of showing affection and trust and that's less than a handful of people I would do that for.

And that is what he used against me saying "You're only friends with people that are sexual with you."

No you troglodyte! I'm friends with said because I can torment them in a game of, Uno, or run away screaming as they're trying to kill me in a locked mansion and we play games and we have a great time.

Also they weren't a failed abortions like you, getting jealous as fuck and giving friends ultimatums while being out right dickheads to people.

---

Conclusion: Fox lied a lot.... I hate liars. We're no longer friends... GOOD RIDDANCE!!!

LMAO

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Mental health is slowly progressing but got far. I'm able to use knives again without the intrusive thoughts causing me to go into a internal mental panic. Still I do have a long road ahead.

Nothing much to say besides I'm making strides. I will be working out again to improve my body and mental health. I said this before and I will say it again, I'm never getting off my meds.


Physical health wise, I'm..... meh?

Last week had an abscess growing where my left lower wisdom tooth USE to be. Had it removed many years ago. Turns out brushing my teeth 2x a day and flossing does not prevent tarter build up in the long run. It's been yeeeeaaars since I went to a dentist. I booked one Thursday to see me this past Saturday., and when Sat morning came I went to my dentist to check on the infection. After some Xrays, she said I have advance tarter build up. It's the extremely likely culprit why the abscess formed.

Any who, they numbed me up good and went to town on my chompers. I talked funny as I could not feel my lower face. Now I'm on antibiotics. The abscess area still hurts, and my bottom front teeth are tingling hard and very annoyingly. Other then that, here's hoping that I recover soon.

Mental health is slowly progressing but got far. I'm able to use knives again without the intrusive thoughts causing me to go into a internal mental panic. Still I do have a long road ahead.

Nothing much to say besides I'm making strides. I will be working out again to improve my body and mental health. I said this before and I will say it again, I'm never getting off my meds.


Physical health wise, I'm..... meh?

Last week had an abscess growing where my left lower wisdom tooth USE to be. Had it removes many years ago. Turns out brushing my teeth 2x a day and flossing does not prevent tarter build up in the long run. It's been yeeeeaaars since I went to a dentist. I booked one Thursday to see me this past Saturday., and when Sat morning came I went to my dentist to check on the infection. After some Xrays, she said I have advance tarter build up. It's the extremely likely culprit why the abscess formed.

Any who, they numbed me up good and went to town on my chompers. I talked funny as I could not feel my lower face. Now I'm on antibiotics. The abscess area still hurts, and my bottom front teeth are tingling hard and very annoyingly. Other then that, here's hoping that I recover soon.

I'll not name names, but this guy is a PDfile. He was caught in a FBI sting. He got out in 3 years because his court dates was happening during the covid pandemic and the dates kept getting pushed back again and again where the prosecution team was losing their grip around the case. That, and he was being held in jail for his court date for almost 2 years. AND HE PLEADED GUILTY TO THE CRIME to receive a lesser sentence.

He keeps following me on Bsky and twitter, Here in FA, and he has my number. He kept texting me that I had to block him. He doesn't take the hint I want nothing to do with him anymore. Because One, he tried to meet up with a kid. And two he lied to me. He gave me a convoluted story how he was trying to "protect this underage kid from his evil father selling his son" and I believed him because he never talked about kids around me in any manner. I visited him, to chill with him and vape when I use to vape. I saw no red flags. He lives in a small town and there is cool stuff to be found in cool towns. Some of the best food to eat are from such places. So he told me his story and I believed it.

However, the furries in the groups he run and in the area he lives talk like chickens and his crime was coming to light. And there it was, the text between him and the "evil father selling his minor son" (FBI agent) and never once it showed him trying to stop the father or trying to make the father stop. It was, all green lights! He was wanting to go see this father and kid BADLY. ***HE EXPRESSED IN THE TEXT to the "FATHER" HE WANTED TO BE THE CHILD'S BOYFRIEND. And the child was 8 years of age. EIGHT!

***Source: U.S. Attorney's Office, Central District of Illinois

His name is on multiple news in his area and a little in my area of STL, MO for trying to solicit a minor. I only kept in contact with him while he was in prison to gather a little data so when he is released I can warn people. Already he is shunned and banned by the furry community in his area.

It hurts me badly. I trusted him. I thought he was a good person and even called him my good friend.

And the reason this hurts terribly in my heart is because: I lost my high school best friend because he had s** with a teenage minor while he was in his mid 20s. And every time I think about that, I'm filled with massive grief and anger. I trusted him as we grew up together. We did teenage stuff together like swim in the river, shoot each other with plastic pellet guns in the yard and watched Adult Swim and played Super Smash Bros Melee all night. It kills me so badly to have wonderful memories with this guy only for him to commit this messed up unspeakable crime.

Did he get jail time? Yeah, and he served 10 years and is now a registered sex offender. I can type his name up and now learn where he is living exactly.

And history repeats itself on me, putting my trust on someone I thought was a really good person, only to try to meet up with a child. I'm grateful it was a sting operation, that it was an FBI agent. If it was an actual kid, he could have traumatized that kid awfully bad. And kids that have been sexually assaulted don't grow up okay. It's PTSD and haunts them forever. Many of them delete themselves much later in life as they cannot take it anymore.

And he is trying to tell people his lies, not realizing what he could have done. Ruin a young life, an innocent child's soul forever. He cares more about his lies rather than what his actions could have done.

Now he stalks me. He wants me to listen to his side. No. The text logs and things that can be found under his name through the justice.gov website punch holes in his story. Turns it all into a mega swiss cheese.

I'll not name names, but this guy is a PDfile. He was caught in a FBI sting. He got out in 3 years because his court dates was happening during the covid pandemic and the dates kept getting pushed back again and again where the prosecution team was losing their grip around the case. That, and he was being held in jail for his court date for almost 2 years. AND HE PLEADED GUILTY TO THE CRIME to receive a lesser sentence.

He keeps following me on Bsky and twitter, Here in FA, and he has my number. He kept texting me that I had to block him. He doesn't take the hint I want nothing to do with him anymore. Because One, he tried to meet up with a kid. And two he lied to me. He gave me a convoluted story how he was trying to "protect this underage kid from his evil father selling his son" and I believed him because he never talked about kids around me in any manner. I visited him, to chill with him and vape when I use to vape. I saw no red flags. He lives in a small town and there is cool stuff to be found in cool towns. Some of the best food to eat are from such places. So he told me his story and I believed it.

However, the furries in the groups he run and in the area he lives talk like chickens and his crime was coming to light. And there it was, the text between him and the "evil father selling his minor son" (FBI agent) and never once it showed him trying to stop the father or trying to make the father stop. It was, all green lights! He was wanting to go see this father and kid BADLY. ***HE EXPRESSED IN THE TEXT to the "FATHER" HE WANTED TO BE THE CHILD'S BOYFRIEND. And the child was 8 years of age. EIGHT!

***Source: U.S. Attorney's Office, Central District of Illinois

His name is on multiple news in his area and a little in my area of STL, MO for trying to solicit a minor. I only kept in contact with him while he was in prison to gather a little data so when he is released I can warn people. Already he is shunned and banned by the furry community in his area.

It hurts me badly. I trusted him. I thought he was a good person and even called him my good friend.

And the reason this hurts terribly in my heart is because: I lost my high school best friend because he had s** with a teenage minor while he was in his mid 20s. And every time I think about that, I'm filled with massive grief and anger. I trusted him as we grew up together. We did teenage stuff together like swim in the river, shoot each other with plastic pellet guns in the yard and watched Adult Swim and played Super Smash Bros Melee all night. It kills me so badly to have wonderful memories with this guy only for him to commit this messed up unspeakable crime.

Did he get jail time? Yeah, and he served 10 years and is now a registered sex offender. I can type his name up and now learn where he is living exactly.

And history repeats itself on me, putting my trust on someone I thought was a really good person, only to try to meet up with a child. I'm grateful it was a sting operation, that it was an FBI agent. If it was an actual kid, he could have traumatized that kid awfully bad. And kids that have been sexually assaulted don't grow up okay. It's PTSD and haunts them forever. Many of them delete themselves much later in life as they cannot take it anymore.

Now he stalks me. I block him and he finds me some other way. He wants me to listen to his side. No. The text logs and things that can be found under his name through the justice.gov website punch holes in his story. Turns it all into a mega swiss cheese.

TLDR: I am doing a lot better thanks to the medication. There are some set backs but, I makes greater strides to make up for the setbacks.


The medication I am taking is helping me return to baseline levels. I still get anxiety that I may act out of character and people around me can be a victim, as I still have compulsions to do great harm to those around me. I know it will be a few months before the medication fully takes root into my system.

But, I'm doing a ton better and that's what matters. As long as the compulsions are weak, and the intrusive thoughts are faint in my mind, and I'm not too anxious, I am fine. These three need each other to fuel one another and the spark is me reacting to it with fear and anxiety. As long the medication can keep these three down, I'm good.

My friends ask me "You still having problems (intrusive thoughts and anxiety) even with your medication?" and I have to explain to them that medication like this needs time to saturate into my cells for it to work fully. It can take weeks to months. Then I explain the difficult steps this medicine must take to reach into the brain. Like a tree trying to grow into concrete when a sapling. It has a difficult time ahead.

For those that don't know. I suffer from a sub type of OCD called Harm OCD. It comes in only three forms I know:

1: Fearing you will harm someone. Getting intrusive thoughts that puts your morals and person on blast. Everyone gets intrusive thoughts. A normal persons' mind can dismiss them but, harm OCD latches onto these thoughts, and replays it like a broken record over and over, making the sufferer obsess over it and trying to fight it, fearing the people around them may become victims. Even going as far as researching psychopaths to see if they share any similar traits. Fighting it makes it worse but it cannot be helped without proper treatment like Exposure and Response therapy and medication.

2: Compulsions to harm. Be self or others. Getting compulsions to hurt others or self, and fearing you may act out of character in doing so. (IE. Getting the urges to push someone in front of you into a incoming train or traffic or down the stairs)

3: A combination of both, which I have.

There is a massive difference between want and compulsion. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I have very distressing compulsions trying to make me. Its starts with getting an intrusive thought, and then having compulsions to make that intrusive thought happen in reality. The compulsions and disturbing intrusive thought fills me with anxiety, and the anxiety fuels the intrusive thoughts and compulsions to become stronger and come into my thoughts with fever frequency. The more I fight and become anxious, the worse these thoughts and compulsions becomes. Harm OCD Paradox 101.

What is worse, when the sufferer goes through this, and they're seeking reassurance from friends and loved ones telling them "You won't hurt a fly." "You are a very kind person, you won't do that." It won't help at all. The amygdala does not understand that. All it knows it, it sees the sufferer is distressed about the intrusive thoughts and compulsions and sounds the alarm over and over again.

The only way to treat it, expose the sufferer to things that can cause harm. Start having them hold a plastic table knife, and have them talk with the therapist and joke and try to get the sufferer to laugh. It can short circuit the amygdala in a way that you aren't responding to the danger as "suppose to" and it will mold itself to understand that intrusive thoughts and tools that can cause harm are nothing to fear. But only the guidance of a proper ERP therapist can achieve this.

OCD is a monster trying to make the suffer think they want it, and it could feel like it when the sufferer really doesn't. TBH, That's OCD in a nutshell.