Wow, it's, uh..... It's been a while, huh?

I might have to get back into the groove here...

If I come up with any NSFW work or something, I'll post it here.

Something to do whenever you draw porn comics:

If you ever have to censor a male erection, cover it up with a text box that says "This comic is not sponsored by Viagra(TM)"

You know what needs to be a meme?

Take a music video for any rock or metal song. For example, Hotel California by the Eagles. Something with an epic guitar solo.

Then just before the epic guitar solo of the song, Beelzeboss from "Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny" bursts in, yelling "CHECK! THIS! RIFF! IT'S! FUCK-ING! TAS-TY!" And then the song continues as if nothing happened.

If you commission a porn artist, and they charge you too little, is it a Dirty Deed Done Dirt Cheap?

As you are reading this, I have the ability to make you imagine anything.



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You are now imagining Michael Bolton singing the original Sailor Moon theme.

Have fun with that.

This is the story, as I told it to a friend of mine over Skype.

There was a Russian Philosopher who was raised and trained at the Orthodox church, who got lost with a couple of friends.

He ran into a witch and, being a man of Orthodox beliefs, beat her to death with a stick. Upon dying, the witch turned into a beautiful woman, and the philosopher fled.

The next day, he returned to the church, and was summoned by a wealthy man upon his dying daughter's request to pray for her soul for three nights.

The first night, he was shocked to see her rise from her coffin. The only thing protecting him from her was a chalk circle, and the belief that a Cossack is not afraid of anything. No matter how hard she tried, she could not get past the holy barrier.

The second night, the same thing happened. She had cursed him by turning his hair white, and that was when he realized her soul was in league with the devil.

On the final night, the undead witch had had enough, and summoned all the vampires and werewolves. Finally, she summoned Viy.

Viy was a big, fat, hideous monster, whose skin was so thick and heavy, it could not even open its eyelids on its own. But once its eyes were opened, its gaze struck an impossible fear into the philosopher's heart, enough for him to lose faith, and for the holy barrier to become useless.

After that, the vampires, werewolves and demons swarmed all over the philosopher, and when the morning came, he was dead. And the witch had finally passed on, leaving behind the body of the old woman that the philosopher had beaten to death.

Happy Halloween, everybody.

I loved the movie. The voice acting was great, especially with a cast of characters voiced by people like Emma Thompson and Billy Connolly. It had its humorous moments (plenty of them), but there was one thing that kind of stuck out for me.

There was something in the movie that made me relate to the main character. And I don't mean just cheering her on and taking her side. I mean I've actually been through a similar situation.

I'm not normally into blabbing about my personal life when I'm not pissed off, but... I went to high school in Moscow. I was living with my dad and stepmom (My parents were divorced, and they both remarried.), and they had a little dog. a Red Shorthaired Dachsund. He was a bit on the small side, but that was only because he was the runt of his litter.

When I was living with my dad and stepmom in Europe, we got into arguments pretty frequently... Nine times out of ten, I just wanted to punch her in the face because she was so proud and arrogant. But then, she was working at the British Embassy as a diplomat, so...Whaddya expect?

Anyway, the only thing to comfort me after an argument was the dog. I couldn't have asked for a better companion to help me feel better. He was always willing to make me smile and feel better, no matter how badly things went between me and my stepmother. (Kind of ironic, considering he was HER dog...)

A short time before I graduated from high school, they noticed something strange about him. His movements started to get a little sluggish. They took him to a vet, and he was diagnosed with a tumor by his digestive tract, preventing him from being able to eat. It was growing so rapidly, they had no choice but to end his suffering and put him down.

I was shocked beyond belief when I heard the news. That night, I cried my eyes out for the first time in years.

About the day before I was to leave to go back stateside, I had a small talk with my stepmom. I told her that I was wrong for being such a prick, and I knew that dog was important to her, just as he was important to me. My dad was surprised and he started to cry himself, because for the first time in years, I actually said something nice to my stepmom, with genuinely good intentions. No sarcasm, no bitter aftertaste, no regrets.

Looking back on it, the only thing I do regret is giving her trouble in the first place. But it was because we both lost the same friend, that we took a step to make amends. The movie reminded me of that. Sure, I'm not a perfect gentleman or athlete. Hell, I don't even think I'm that great of an artist, and it's one of the few things I can do WELL... But it made me realize it's not pride that has the most value. It is compassion.

Sorry, this journal ended up a bit longer than I intended... but I hope you understand what I mean when I say, Don't let your pride get the best of you. Learn to be humble.

What would you guys think, if I were to sell little puffballs as adoptable characters? They will be given a new form after adoption, and I'll be selling them for about $2 each.

I have three NES cartridges available:

Super Sprint (Tengen)
Kings of the Beach: Professional Beach Volleyball (Ultra Games)
Roger Clemens' MVP Baseball (LJN)

I'll be holding an auction for these three cartridges. Opening bid is $10 for each one.

I haven't decided on a certain date yet, but when I do, that will be the date when the cartridges will go to the last bidder.

Payments must be made via PayPal.

...I were to try sewing together Tanooki Suits? :3

ARTWORK

-COMIC STRIPS: $1.25 per panel in b/w. $2.00 per panel in color.

-PORTRAITS/SINGLE PICTURE COMICS: $5 in b/w. $7.50 in color.

ANIMATIONS

-FLASH: $10 for 10 seconds. $0.50 for each second after.

-GIF: Negotiable.

TEXTS

-REVIEWS: $15 for games, $20 for movies.

-STORIES: Negotiable. Talk to me in Notes and we'll discuss it.

Now, for the challenge. I have a Paypal, and I'm financially short.

Well, I have a bit of a challenge. And this one's going to be a blast.

If you manage to donate a total of $100 by Christmas, I will do something amazingly hilarious.

I WILL SING THE THEME OF THE GREAT MIGHTY POO FROM CONKER'S BAD FUR DAY.

That's right, I'll sing the song and post it on Youtube. BUT ONLY if you guys donate.

....This year, my birthday is falling on Thanksgiving Day.

<<This is part of the rant I'm doing in response to the newest leak from Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3. WARNING: Lots of bad language>>

FUCK YOU CAPCOM, YOU FUCKING LAZY ASS PIECES OF FUCKING SHIT. YOU'RE NOT EVEN FUCKING TRYING ANYMORE.

I'm fucking tired of fucking Capcom, fucking around with the fucking icon of my fucking childhood like some fucking piece of fucking trash, without fucking treating it with the fucking respect it fucking deserves!

When people protested over the fact that Megaman was omitted, THEY WANTED HIM AS A SEPARATE FUCKING CHARACTER! Are you fucking TRYING to fucking piss us off?! THIS IS FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE, CAPCOM!!

And it's not just Zero, oh no... You know Frank West, the photographer from Dead Rising? Well, guess fucking what. HE'S GOT A MEGAMAN X COSTUME TOO.

Oh, and if you happen to be a Darkstalkers fan, you got fucked over too. Just look at what they did to Amaterasu from the Okami game! THEY DRESSED HER UP AS JON TALBAIN.

Would you tolerate a Super Smash Bros. game that had no Mario in it, but instead had Luigi dress in red? Or if you had a Sonic game without even a fucking MENTION of that blue pincushion hero?

All I can say is: Insult to injury, Shitcom. Insult to injury.


Photgraphic proof:

Amaterasu as Jon Talbain: http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hpho.....62025100_n.jpg

Zero as Megaman X: http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hpho.....50864451_n.jpg

Frank West as Megaman X: http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hpho.....26562894_n.jpg

And now she's saying I have to either get a job, or be out of the house by my birthday.


Which is two months away.


I admit, I blow her off a lot, mainly because she acts like I'm a little kid, reminding me of my chores every day like I've got a 5-second memory.


But to be frank, she talks too much, and she never seems to have gotten the hint that IF SHE SHUT THE F-<censored> UP, I would pay more attention to her when she DOES talk.

So if, within the next couple of months, you don't hear from me for a while... well, that's why.

I feel I should say a prayer for those involved in 9/11. Problem is, I can't really think of much to say.


On this tenth anniversary of the September 11th attacks, we look back on the past to observe the road we traveled and how we came so far, and we should look ahead for the road we will continue to travel. Along that road, we will give many things.

A tear for those lost.
A smile to those found.
A salute to the saviors.
Defeat to the oppressors.

For sake of the land of the free and the home of the brave, may the Lord have mercy on your souls.

Amen.

I'm in Virginia, so it'll probably be only a Category 1 hurricane by the time it gets here, but if I'm offline for longer than usual, you know why.

My Paypal account is linked to my email address, at remington.a.hand[at]gmail.com

ARTWORK

-COMIC STRIPS: $1.25 per panel in b/w. $2.00 per panel in color.

-PORTRAITS/SINGLE PICTURE COMICS: $5 in b/w. $7.50 in color.

ANIMATIONS

-FLASH: $10 for 10 seconds. $0.50 for each second after.

-GIF: Negotiable.

TEXTS

-REVIEWS: $15 for games, $20 for movies.

-STORIES: Negotiable. Talk to me in Notes and we'll discuss it.

Most of you know that I have a thing for mind control, robots, and any girl with a blank, mindless stare.

Well, this was bound to happen.

I've put some hypnosis induction videos on YouTube.


Induction (Getting Started): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLjzdvw-qQQ

Conditioning (Deepening the trance): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm8ATydApXQ

Robot Suggestion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpdzrkpM-x4

Mindless Slave Suggestion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHCs6IPVX1g

If you have any more ideas for hypnotic suggestions, I will be happy to make the videos.

So yeah, I just had my 21st birthday today, on November 24th, 2010. I admit, I kinda have mixed feelings about the idea.

First, there's the nostalgia, where you look back at everything you can remember in the last 21 years of your life and and you remember all the simple pleasures you had when you were younger.

Then there's the disbelief. If you were like me, and you had a fairly rough time in school, chances are you've said to yourself, "I don't think I'll ever survive to be that age." Next thing you know, you're already there.

Another part of it is sort of a 2-for-1 deal. Looking towards the future, I feel a good bit of fear for whatever bad luck might be coming my way in the future, whether it be bankruptcy, injury, illness, relationship problems, or whatever. But on the same token, I do my best to remain optomistic and hope that it won't turn out that bad. Because nothing's so bad that it can't get worse.

So where do I go from here? I guess I have a few things to take care of... Getting a job, paying off college debt, getting the education needed to get an even better job... But for now, I'm still kinda taking it in.

Stolen from ZareltheWindDragon

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (first pet & street you grew up on)
Uhhh... E. Bunny Charlottesville Road

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Caramel White Chocolate Chip

3. YOUR "FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
R Han

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Silver Eagle

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Ayr Fort Sill. (weirdest name ever...)

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Hanre

7. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The" + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Yellow Mug

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Robert Jack

9. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Cinnamon Caramel

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (father's & mother's middle names)
Wayne Elva

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher's last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
B. Boise.

12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Summer Rose

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you're wearing right now + "ie" or "y")
Lemon Shortsy

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Cereal. (No last name. Not really into trees. Gives the girls an excuse to yell "I LIKE CEREAL!!")

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: ("The" + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + "Tour")
The Gaming Storm Tour