I just thought I would put down some of my wishes for the future in my life because I'm bored and nobody is really talking to me.

I would like to:

Learn how to blow glass and/or create pottery or perhaps even metal work with a forge
Travel to England and/or Japan
Pick my Japanese back up to become fluent
Settle down with someone whom accepts me and my trans issues without judgement
Own an epic computer with more than one CPU and GPU 8D
Own a fursuit of Turq or perhaps a future character I create
Perhaps remove my status of "virgin" when it comes to guys ( yes, as perverted as I am, I have never been taken by a guy >/////< )

So lol, where to begin. If any of you have wondered where I was for the last three days, I was part of the security staff at Frolicon here in Atlanta, which is a 21+ sex/fetish convention with a little bit of sci-fi thrown in from time to time.

I have to say it was pretty mundane as far as security went, I told the odd person or two to cover their boobs/vag/cock when going back in to public areas, and bounced a few kids and people who didn’t have badges out of the con. At one point I was on elevator duty keeping people from being stupid in the elevators while also making sure they didn’t set off the weight limit alarm. I was also in charge of tracking down this one nappy looking white goth kid whom we nicknamed “Lunchbox” because he carried around this POS metal Hot Topic looking lunchbox. The kid was obviously on something, be it Lucy or Molly, but refused to tell EMS what it was and decided to screw around the convention so we had to keep an eye out of him to make sure he didn’t pass out under a car or something xD

The time I was off however is a totally different story, a very epic one. Now this being basically a kink and BDSM convention there were all sorts of events, some of which I watched or participated in such as the rope bondage show and naked yoga. There were also alllll sorts of dealers with everything you could ever want, toys, whips, gags to medical and electrical stuff and even Fetish Zone had a table there.

After sampling a few of the room parties and getting a good bit of free booze, I decided to attend what is known as a “dark room” party. This place pretty much blew my mind. What it was, was a room that was pitch black, where everyone was naked and pretty much groping/feelings/doing whatever they wanted in the dark. The better (or perhaps worse) part is everything was non-penetrative, is as far as STDs go, it was pretty safe as long as you kept your head (which I did) even while you got off shall we say ( which I also did ^///^ ). It really is something else to be in that environment, and there was even someone in a fox fur suit there, so needless to say I had some fun times with him : 3

In the end, I met a lot of cool people, had some laughs and fun and did it all for free even, so if anyone ever wants to go, give me a heads up next year and maybe security could use you too :D

Everything is okay.
Life will be okay.
I am learning that I can be myself and that there are people who can just accept me without an explanation.
I can chose my own path in life, not let other chose for me, and chose to be as happy as I can be.
I can surround myself with people who enjoy and care about me and wont hurt me for who I am and cast aside those who will never accept at my discretion.
I will be okay.
I am okay.
<3

So much love goes out to  Syntharia_Desire,  glowsheep,  kinaenae and all the others who have stuck with me through everything.

So, the extraction went well without too many issues. I took a small dose of Diazepam (Valium) which was prescribed to me to take before I went there to calm me down, and it did it's job pretty well. The first tooth came out without a problem in under a minute. However, apparently they hadn't numbed the other side of my mouth as much so as soon as they started to really work, I was feeling a good bit of pain as they worked on it for about 5 minutes before it came out. With that being done, they stuffed me with gauze and sent me home, after which I pretty much passed out for another 3 hours, only to wake up in a pool of blood, so there goes a pillow and pillow case. I just took out more gauze and it seems to have stopped bleeding everywhere which is good. I also took a Hydrocodone not too long ago, so the pain is gone which makes me much happier now.

Thanks to Syntharia_Desire, bluwolf, NeoTech_Ragu, Kouros_Akanari, and everyone else for their help and support with the whole ordeal <3

So, I'm having wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow morning at 9am. I can take pain in most areas, but when it comes to the mouth/teeth, I am very intolerant to pain there and the thought is rather upsetting, although I do my best to hide it. I will be numb, but wont be knocked out, which makes me even more nervous because I will see all the tools and stuff they are doing. Ugh, here's to a night of restless sleep. Feel free to leave me comments to cheer me up, I'll check up on this right before I leave in the morning.

It's official, I passed my C++ course, so that means I am able to graduate! I will now officially have an associates degree in Systems and Network Security. I'm so glad that I am done with that school and can start with the hunt for a real job and escape the world minimum wage retail jobs!

Something a little odd I have begun to notice Is that I am begining to develop a dislike for being called by male pronouns such as "young man, he, boy, man, sir, ect..".

Anyone around who just wants to talk for a while? I could use some distraction so I don't stress out over a final I have tomorrow. Feel freed to add me on any one of these

AIM - kamikitsune62
Skype - silverwolf62
MSN/WL - sasuke_61[at]hotmail.com

If a girl, let’s say 15 years of age, makes herself available on a site for 18+, meets up with a guy and subsequently has sex she regretted later or says she was raped, do you think the girl is at just as much fault at the male for lying about her age and posting on said 18+ site, or is the girl always innocent and the guy always guilty.

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
There are a couple people, yep :P

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Hmmm, evening is nice cause then you can just lay there for a while and not have to go anywhere

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The middle

4. Do you masturbate?
Yes

5. How often? Lately?
2~3 times a week, but lately it's been less because of emotional issues

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No

7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
I like a shower for myself, but a bath is fun with if you have someone else :P

8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or bath?
Yes

9. Do you watch/read pornography?
Yep, I enjoy watching some 20 something guys go at it~

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
A mix of both to suit my own needs

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Yes, but not in a sexual way

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
No

13. Would you choose love or money?
Love

14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
(in no order) Pegging, collar/leash and blind fold

15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
YES >.>

16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
In bed

17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
In a park during a festivle with tons of people around

18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
No, but almost

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No, and I will never go because they are a waste of money

20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
No, I have more self respect than that

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
No, because I am not a whore

22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
No, because I would rather not catch something nasty >.<

23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Yes

24. What's your sexuality?
I identify as gay, but I enjoy sex with females as well, it more comes down to the relationship aspect and being with them emotionaly

27. Have you ever had sex in a movie theater?
No, but there has been some mutual masturbation

26. Had sex in a bathroom?
Yes, but not a public one

27. Have you ever had sex at work?
Nope

28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
Yep! I love seeing all the toys they have~

29. Have you ever bought something from an adult store?
Yep, but not always for me :P

30. Do you own any sex toys?
Yes, but none that I use anymore. I need drop some money at Zeta Paws again =3

31. If yes, how many and what are they?
One normal average dildo and one punk ribbed vibrator

32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
Yes

33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Nope

32. Have you ever had phone sex?
Nope, it doent get me off honestly

35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
Yep, and I think I am fairly good at it too :3

36. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?
Yep, because it involves a sexual organ

37. What's your favorite sexual position?
Hmmmm, pretty much anything that is pleasureable and comfortable for me

38. What's your favorite sex act?
I enjoy giving oral >.>

39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
Nope, but I wouldnt mind if I ever got the chance :D

40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
Anyone who is secure enough in their sexuality

I am in need of some dire help with my C++ class (no joke intended :P). Is anyone out there good with C++ or know of anyone who can help me? This is an intro class, so the problems are not that difficult and I understand the logic behind what I want to do, the biggest problem is getting the English in my head into code on the screen >.<

Hey there! Im in the mood to talk to new people (and you old friends as well) so come talk to me!

AIM kamikitsune62
Skype silverwolf62
MSN/WL sasuke_61[at]hotmail.com

Go here! Win a chance to blow a stranger!
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2148265/

1.Do you sleep naked?
Whenever I can. When I cant, I atleast have to take my shirt off cause it tends to get twisted and choke me xP

2. Do you sleep with socks on?
Sometimes when it's cold

3. Would you rather sleep alone or with someone else?
With someone else as much as possible~

4. Do you enjoy drama?
Uhhhhh, j-drama yes, RL drama not so much >.<

5. Are you a manly man?
Nope!

6. Who was the last person you hugged?
Ash :D

7. Small or large package?
-shickers- Large please~

8. Are you short?
Nope

9. Do you like somebody?
Sure

10.Does your Facebook password have to do with a girl?
NO

11. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Yes, because nobody likes smelly socks

12. Do you think you’re conceited?
No clue~

13. Do you dress up on Halloween?
Use to, not any more.

14. Are you double jointed?
Nope

15. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
In the middle of an office complex

16. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
I wish!

17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?
Nope

18. Do you call anybody by their last name?
Nope

19. How many girls will read this just because it says "Boy Confessions"?
Probably a few xD

[x] I wear make up.(Hey, I like to not have the shiney face thing going on :P)
[x] I have cried in a movie theater.
[] I can brush my teeth without opening my mouth.
[x] I get jealous.
[] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.
[] JUDE LAW FAG
[x] I love to laugh.
[] I like death/grind/black metal.
[] I like rap.
[] I like techno.
[] I like country.
[x] I carry a purse. (It's called a man-bag!)
[x!] I'd be lost without my computer.
[] I own a Spice Girls CD.
[] I own a Britney Spears CD.
[] I own a boy band CD.
[x] I get bored watching football.
[x] I've never been called a spoiled brat.
[] Girls are confusing.
[] I've been called a bad influence
[] I have/had a piercing other than my ears.


Come on fellas, be truthful!

1. What color is your underwear?
Uhhhh -looks down- Turquoise right now, but can be purple pink black or even hello kitty ;3

2. Do you prefer light or dark haired girls?
As long as I can play with their hair I dont care~

3. Are you currently frustrated with a girl?
Not really

4. What's one thing a girl can do to make you like them?
(like != love) Just accept me for my querks and allow me to be who I am

5. Do you have a best friend?
Yep and she knows who she is~

6. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yep :x

7. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
Yes >.>

8. Do you like your life?
Some parts yes, some parts no

10. Has one of your friends ever stolen a girlfriend from you?
Nope

11. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
Nope

12. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
Girls duh~

14. Have you ever slapped anybody in the face?
Nope

15. What are your biggest fears?
Being alone for the rest of my life ;x;

16. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yes

17. Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?
Yep

18. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater?"
No

19. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
Yes, but more often then not it is proven wrong

20. Do you ever wish you were famous?
Nope

21. Are you currently missing someone?
Yes

THIS GIRL OR THAT GIRL? PICK ONE:


Cowgirl or Gangster?
Uhhhhhhh, cowgirl I guess?

Preppy or Punk?
Preppy, cause then I can steal her skirt :3

Face or Body?
both :3

Good cook or take you out a lot?
Either is fine~

Sweet or sexy?
Both~

Armani or Abercrombie?
Eh, either

Contacts or glasses?
Either

Then why not buy my figure?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=160554019527&ssPageName=ADME:X:AAQ:US:1123#ht_500wt_1156

This is a 1:8 scale figure of Holo (Horo) from the first season of Spice and Wolf. It is slightly used, but has been touched less than half a dozen times over the 2 years I have had it and comes with the original box and plastic molding, so this is figure is being sold in "like new" condition. She has not been in direct sun or lamp light at all so all colours are still factory correct. She has never been dropped, handled roughly either.

This figure is out of production and there will be no re-run of this figure. I am asking $300 on eBay (and if you note me, I can explain how that is a reasonable price) but if you arrange things with me here, will knock it down to $250 + shipping from the US.

Feel free to ask questions or comment (^o^)

Also, I would love any help you can give me in spreading the word :D

Yep, I'm sick. I have a sore throat which makes talking and eating somewhat painful, and I have a low fever so I have the window in my room open to let in some fresh cool air and I have been fatigued all day. I hope that this passes quickly, because I really don't want to go to school being sick on Tuesday. Here's to hoping this wolf feels better soon @_@

Hey hey look listen hey!
You should go and get a head shot commission thingy from  Syntharia_Desire because she needs money to see the doctor and get better!
They are cheep and the art is awesome! Go get one here! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2121704/

I swear I blame my MOM of all people for turning me on this stuff lately xD
I would love to build this bracelet with perhaps just one Zen bead, and two spacers in a sort of minimalist yet stylish look :D

Bracelet - http://www.pandora.net/en-us/jewell.....ts/590705cbk-s
Blue Zen - http://www.pandora.net/en-us/jewell.....nts/790491en08
Purple Zen - http://www.pandora.net/en-us/jewell.....nts/790491en13
Spacers - http://www.pandora.net/en-us/jewell.....moments/790197

Well, it's my birthday again~
I am now 21 and can do all the fun things people who are 21 can do :3
I have the house to myself for most of the day because parents are gone, so feel free to keep me company on my messengers when I come online.
<3

I just want to say sorry to everyone who might feel I have neglected them or turned away from them in the last couple months or so. I figured I this might be the best place to let people know what is going on in my life, since all my friends seem to be here these days.

I have been unhappy with my life lately. Not so much depressed, because I still have the drive to do things like school work and go to work, but I feel I am not moving fast enough in my life. I look at the people around me and I feel so far behind, be it because of my own actions or things out of my control. I guess some would call that signs of an inferiority complex, but who knows.

I have had to stop going to therapy and my one sort of social event because of school. I miss it very much. It was a place I could feel connected with people and understood in some small way and I miss having someone to work my problems out with. We all know I am broken in some ways, but I am trying when I can to heal the scars and fix the cracks.

I don’t sleep well anymore. I can’t turn the thoughts and feelings off that constantly reverberate inside my head like a cloud of angry bees, each bee buzzing a different idea, worry, thought or memory. I know I tell people I’m tired or log off and say I’m going to bed, but often I will stay of for an hour or two more just trying to fall asleep. It’s taken a toll on me.

I lost my second job a week ago. It isn’t a crisis situation because I have my usual job and lately I have been given more full days rather than half days, but it still means I have less money then I planned to work with. I suppose it’s a good thing I have continued to save as much as possible.

I graduate in a few months with an associates in systems in and network security. I have started to talk to people in a few different areas looking for internships or entry level jobs in my field, but with plans to go back to school after a bit of a break to work more and get a car, we will see how that goes.

My god mother is dying of cancer. She has been for a little while now but it has taken a turn for the worse. She looks like she is 9 months pregnant, that is how large and abundant the masses are. She could honestly go at any time these days. I have never been good at facing mortality. It scares me honestly.

I'm sorry if the way I wrote this journal annoys some people, but it’s just the easiest way to write for me right now.

Feel free to comment as you see fit…

Syntharia_Desire has shown 15 truths about herself, so I thought I might do the same, only a little shorter :3
Feel free to ask questions if you have them.

1. My sexuality frustrates me sometimes. While I identify as gay because I do prefer men over woman, there is the rare occasion in which I will develop romantic feelings for a girl. However I don’t want to identify as bisexual because I do largely prefer men and bisexuals are often seen as liking both genders 50/50, at least in my experiences from when I used to identify as such.

2. I am what you might call genderqueer or gender-fluid. I feel that I am an amalgamation of both feminine and masculine characteristics, often flowing from one gender to the other and back depending on the day or situation.

3. I get very upset over my body sometimes. I have always longed for a more feminine shape and facial structure. Sometimes when I see a very feminine guy in RL or what you might call a “trap” online, it makes me very sad because I have longed to be like that for so long, yet am cursed by a very male body.

4. I enjoy sex, talking about and discussing sexual matters. I’m not obsessed because I have a good understanding of when it is and isn’t appropriate, but I do enjoy it when I can. I think if I was not so technologically gifted, I might have become some sort of sexual therapist or something along those lines.

5. I have some very, very dark views on certain things. We will leave that one at that.

6. Ignorant people piss me off very much. People who can’t talk property or type without using “4” as the word “for” make me frustrated. This probably stems from being in a school system so long with people of a certain character and basic intelligence.

7. I often envy people who can draw and paint. There have been many times where I will get an idea in my head, but it will never be seen in public due to the fact I have no money or way to express it visually.

8. One of my goals in life while I am young is to model in the nude, either privately or for an art college, at least once. Either that, or take a trip to a nude beach one day.

9. Sometimes I wonder if the things I feel are true, or are they just cries for attention from having been starved from it for so many years.

10. I have an intense fear of being alone forever. I never dated or went out with people in my mandatory school years, so now more than ever I am hoping to perhaps find a partner I can be happy with.

This one is simple :D
What is your opinion of a guy who wears UGG boots?

Anyone one around to talk? I'm bored.

AIM kamikitsune62
Skype Silverwolf62
MSN sasuke_61[at]hotmail.com

So, Im thinking about doing FWA this year. For those of you that have gone, do you think it is worth it if you don't have even a partial fur suit?

Apparently the show "My Strange Addictions" on TLC is running a story on a female furry who is "addicted" to wearing fur suits. The show airs next Wednsday the 19th at 9pm.

Edit
Synopsis
"Lauren can't imagine going to a party or social event without wearing her fur suit. She's completely dedicated to her "fursona" - designing and sewing her costume well into the night."

Awesome, more bad publicity for the furry community -.-