Late July I ended up getting Covid, wasn't fun. Whole family caught it, actually; Dad caught it from some lady at a meeting, then brought it home and gave it to mom and I. That's some shit tho, I work through the height of covid at an uncaring, retail job and never once catch it. I go out for dinner with my partner and his family for his birthday, they all catch it and I'm still clear. I quit my retail job and start working from home and THAT'S when I finally catch it? Regardless though, I've recovered and tested negative few days ago, except now I have an awful cough that won't go away. Gonna look into getting health insurance to maybe go see a doctor, we'll see how that goes.

But on brighter news, my family just got two new kittens! And they are hyper and keeping me up at night... -u-;
Regardless of that though Mom and I think they're going to bring some much-needed levity and joy into this otherwise depressed household.

But where does that leave me? Tired from coughing nearly 24/7 and taking care of kittens, but hopeful they'll help me with my current mental state because it hasn't been good. Truth be told, I think I've been doing very poorly mentally and physically, just been drifting aimlessly through life slowly feeling more and more... indifferent? Frustrated? Discontent? I've recently had to put some commissions on hold because I had genuinely started to forget why I even do art to begin with, and even now with my wrist still being a constant hassle, I'm still not even sure. I should probably just get another, more orthodox job and make art my hobby again, but I've grown too attached to the freedom working from home as my own boss has permitted me. I could ramble on for paragraph after paragraph, but I'll save myself the trouble of putting it all into words and just summarize it as such; I am lost in life and have no direction to speak of.

I didn't intend for this to be as melancholy as it turned out, I've just had a lot on my mind lately. I should go get some breakfast.

Another year has passed and, well, things seem to be looking up! Figured I might as well log how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking to start off the new year and reflect on the last a little.

The last year was a return to normalcy, as well as a massive shift in direction, what with me quitting my retail job outright and doing art full time. And honestly, while it's been a massive improvement almost across the board, I'm suspecting it might not be sustainable unless I make some big changes.

On that note, I ask anyone who bothers reading these logs, what can I do to make my art more appealing? How can I convince more people to commission me to draw them something?
I want to do everything in my power to grow as an artist since it's my job now, but I just can't seem to get any traction. So if you have an idea that might help, that would be awesome!

Also, Teryisum. I've been trying to make more progress on it, and if I can keep up the pace I've got I might just get this current arc done soon! Well, "soon" as in potentially within a few months but soon relatively speaking... We'll see, it's always on my mind even if others may or may not care about it as much as I do!

Alrighty then, I s'pose that's all that's on my mind right now. I keep telling myself I should do these more but I'm bad at organizing my thoughts.

Figured it couldn't hurt to make an update post, though there isn't much to say this month. Life finally seems to have calmed down after all this time, the worst my family and I had to deal with has been a mouse infestation, and one of 'em dying under our AC right before a mild heatwave. Otherwise, things are fine. My wrist isn't doing so great, I gotta get better at pacing myself with art. I'm also putting on too much weight for my liking. Honestly, it's still hard to process not needing to jump at the smallest noise or thing happening in the house, but I'll take that over the alternative.

Been binging Cyberpunk 2077's new 2.0 update and DLC this last week since I've taken some time to let my wrist rest; It's fun, can recommend if you like average western RPGs with good story.

Oh yeah, might as well also let anyone reading know my commissions are still open, in case anyone was wondering.

And my birthday is in a week or so, that's also cool.

I guess that's all I have to say; All's quiet on my front, which is still kinda wild to think about.

Commissions are now OPEN, all relevant info can be found HERE

With July upon us, the new FA policies are going live today, and my gallery has been trimmed to accommodate them. While I can definitely say I'm very unhappy with how this whole ordeal has turned out, it is what it is and there's nothing I can do to change it. I have, however, been hard at work the past week or so to mitigate it as best I can...

My entire gallery can now be found over on Weasyl and Itaku!

As much as I'd like to boycott FA and stop uploading here all together, that wouldn't be wise on my part, considering another big announcement...

I've officially quit my job and I'm opening commissions full-time now!

While I'm still hesitant on the whole thing, the trigger's been pulled and now I'll be trying to pay bills and such via commissions from now on, I'll be announcing when they are open proper. I've also considered reopening my Patreon as a tip-jar this time around but nothing concrete yet.
I'd also like to extend my sincerest thanks to you all for bearing with me during these uncertain times.

>>>Tl;dr, New FA Policy is gonna hit my gallery hard, if you wanna keep up with my art elsewhere links will be at the bottom!!!<<<

It's been quite a month, lots of things happening in my life that may be signs things are gonna be changing a lot; To start, my shitty co-worker finally pushed my patience well over their limit so I called her constant bluffs and told her to go fuck herself. Not only cathartic but also didn't get written up for it either, so that's a plus.

However, they STILL refuse to do anything about her or my issues with her and as a bonus they've been fucking my schedule up royally so to save what little of my sanity is left I'm highly considering leaving that place for good. The only unfortunate part is I have frankly no-where else to go.

But obviously that's not the only big change to happen...

So... those new FA Policies, huh?

Yeah, I'm not a big fan of them or any of the surrounding controversy; I've spent almost 8 years on this site drawing things I enjoy, and managed to slowly carve out a comparatively small following that I am blessed enough to call my own, and a large part of that success has been because of Pokemon smut, ESPECIALLY Riolus!
Riolu has been my favorite 'Mon for the longest time, and I've been drawing them since I started; You almost can't scroll through my gallery without seeing at LEAST one Riolu per page, sfw or nsfw. And now I'm faced with the decision between erasing a massive chunk of my legacy because of some half-baked, hypocritical site-changes, or seeing the whole thing potentially cast to the void, never to be heard from again...

So, as much as it kills me to have to do it, my Pokemon-related smut, as well as any other potentially problematic art will likely no longer be available on this page come the end of June.

It'll be available elsewhere in time; e621 still has a good portion of it, and I've been looking into other art-hosting sites to set up shop as well; Itaku and Weasyl being two candidates. On top of that my Official Terysium/Silvrsterlng Discord will also still be a general hub for my work as well, so it's not like this policy change will get rid of me for good, but it's definitely hit my motivation hard.

The future is very uncertain right now, and while not as catastrophic as I've dealt with already, I'm not looking forward to all the change happening, but I just gotta remain hopeful things will turn out alright in the end.

Itaku: https://itaku.ee/profile/silvrsterlng
Weaysl: https://www.weasyl.com/~silvrsterlng
Official Discord Server: https://discord.gg/uZjHHEN
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Silvrsterlng

Man, I tell you I just can't win; Since my job requires me to wear out my wrist cutting produce, I've been trying to be more conscious of making sure to stretch and take care of my wrists...
...'Cept it seems that all my efforts have just resulted in even more wrist and hand-related pains than before....

Heck, in a way it feels like all my attempts at bettering myself just backfire and make me realize how really bad I am at them; Trying to eat better for example has only made me realize how bad I am at eating better and how little self-control I have when confronted with sweets....

Oh well, guess it's just a matter of trying more. Maybe I'll have better luck if I just shovel lettuce in my face like chips.

Time for another ramble~

So, I've been trying to draw more lately, even just getting sketches and doodles done... but unfortunately all the drawing plus my 4-day-straight work-week involving repetitive wrist movements for 8 hours a day means my wrists are getting sore. I'm going to hope it's just fatigue and not the beginning of carpal tunnel, but hey no drawing this morning means at least I get a moment to record my thoughts and fling them into the void.

The year is already almost a third gone, and my goal for Terysium is still not there yet. Mild spoilers, but the current arc has, like, 10+ pages to go? Maybe more, I'm not even sure myself and I'm the guy making them! I knew going into this that webcomics are a slow-burn project; Hell some of my biggest inspirations, Slightly Damned and Homestuck, both are over a decade old and still going. I'm just a little annoyed with my own progress is all; 3 years later and I'm still only just barely getting near the end of what is essentially the first real chapter after the prologue. Tho, of course I guess I can't entirely blame myself, considering everything that has happened in those 3 years...

Oh well. I guess it'll just work itself out hopefully.

I've also had video games on my mind, namely Pizza Tower and Tears of the Kingdom; The former has probably done irreversible damage to my brain with trying to P-Rank everything and the latter I am somewhat cautiously optimistic for! To further elaborate why, I think the game looks like it'll be great, just as good as BotW, but that's kinda my biggest gripe

Just as good as Breath of the Wild. Not better.

From the gameplay teaser they showed off, it seems like none of my underlying gripes with BotW were addressed in any meaningful way, they just added some new toys. It sorta feels like a Mario Galaxy 2 kinda sequel where it's kinda just more of the last game, instead of something like a Majora's Mask sequel where it uses the last game to build something new. But of course I can't make any further judgement till I give the game a try, so we'll see how it turns out. Tho one major improvement is Link's hair, it looks so good and no I'm not biased at all >u>

I guess that's all my thoughts for now then. Maybe I should try and write these things more often so they aren't just walls of rambling. Eh, we'll see.

I wanna get a Wind Waker Randomizer playermodel of my catboy and I'm willing to pay money for it if anyone is knowledgeable and willing to do so!

It's the new year, woo. Honestly, considering I start this year covering for a co-worker going on vacation, immediately after working my ass off during the holidays I don't exactly have the energy to look forward with optimism.

But that's not really fair, there is some bright patches. For starters, my dad is doing better; He's gotten stronger and is finally out of the hospital, and even has a new electric wheelchair for getting around. Heck, he and mom are even planning fun outings and whatnot once the proper accessibility things are set up around the house. It almost feels like things are finally getting better for them, and they're excited for the future.

Now if only I could feel the same. To be blunt, I just don't feel anything for the new year. Like, I don't feel pessimistic that it'll be as bad as the last two, but I don't dare even raise my hopes it'll be better. I kinda just feel lost. I don't feel like I have a purpose or future to look forward to, that I'm just going through the motions exhausting myself to death at work, or just waiting on-call for the next inevitable disaster to hit my family and I.

I wish I could quit my job but I have no other avenue for employment; No other area within biking distance is better than my current job, I don't have a car or a drivers license and the prospect of driving terrifies me, I have no notable talents or skills, I can't work with people consistently due to my long-standing social issues and lack of patience with the general public, and I've just come to the conclusion that being self-employed and doing art as a living simply would not work. So ultimately I just feel stuck with no options outside putting up with the exhausting lack of coverage in my department at work and my horrible shift-lead.

Tl;dr, Family is doing better and looking forward to the future, I'm not and wish I was.

Despite all that, I have at least been making some mental plans I wanna do this year, starting with Terysium. I say it so much but I really do want to get the current arc done this year, and hopefully relatively soon this year. I have plans for doing some reformatting, and some mild changes here and there to better fit the new vision I have for it, as well as a new home for it! Shard found a comic-hosting site and I plan on putting Terysium there once the aforementioned changes are done. I'll still upload pages here no doubt but it'll be nice to have a proper hub for Terysium to link to.

As for the rest of my art, I guess nothing is really changing; I'm still just going to draw and post whatever I end up drawing, but I s'pose I'm curious what you guys would wanna see more of?

I guess that's all my thoughts for now, take care of yourselves and may your own 2023's be optimistic!

Howdy, figured it was a good time to post another update journal, cuz I've got some things on my mind.

I guess first on the list, my current life-situation; Still not great, no signs of it getting better, still utterly ruining my mental and physical well-being. Not much else to say on that front.

Next, let's talk Patreon.
Because of the constant bombardment of bullshit life's thrown at my family and I, my Patreon is basically going into hibernation. I barely draw anything of substance anymore, so I can't even fulfill the bare minimum pledge rewards. I'm hoping once things get not terrible I can maybe rework and soft-restart it, but that's not happening any time soon.

However, that doesn't mean I don't have any art-related plans right now. I've been hard at work trying to get Terysium Ch. 2 finished some time this year.

As of right now I've got almost all the pages sketched out, with a number of them essentially prepped to be finished. I'm hoping to have the entirety of the sketches done by the end of the month, if not soon after the start of April. But I can't make any promises considering my less-than-stellar existential burn-out. I really want to get Terysium Ch. 2 finished, so I'm going to be focusing as much creative energy as I can on Terysium and nothing else. Of course if another good idea comes to me and I have a mighty desire to draw it I might, but expect things to get really quiet here for the foreseeable future.

So, that's about it. Art is going to slow while I try and focus on getting Terysium Ch. 2 finished with what little creative drive I have left.

Well, with Christmas approaching, the end of the year is coming with it...

what a year....

It has NOT been a good year for me or my family; January my grandmother passed away, February my cat followed, March and April my dad's health deteriorates and by May he's entirely hospitalized with a grocery list of things wrong with him. Spent the next few months just trying to keep my mom sane and the house intact as we battle the hospitals whom all seemed to just want to drug my dad up and leave him to slowly die. He's sent to a rehab clinic to get physical therapy and the help he needs to get back on his feet and OOPS looks like all they did was keep him in a drug-induced coma because they can't be bothered to do their jobs. Guess we just gotta get him home and do it ourselves...

And that's been the last half of the year; Trying and failing to help my dad get back on his feet. The only progress we've managed is getting all the literal holes the hospitals put in him closed. And all it's taken is all of our sanity, time, money.

I wish I could say I'm at least keeping a positive attitude, but I'm not. I'm so fed up with this entire world that I'd much rather see it all burn. I'm tired of my job, I'm tired of my home, I'm just tired. And the cherry on top is that I've become so bitter and lost I don't even know what I want with my art anymore.

I want to say that I'm improving, but improvement requires practice which I don't have time or energy for anymore. I want to say I have a motivation that drives my passion, but I barely even want to draw anything more complicated than doodles, and half the time those are driven by libido alone. Hell I don't even know if I have passion anymore, if I even like art, but it's all I know.

I don't even know why I'm writing this, It's barely cathartic and just seems like a waste of time and a drop in morale in hindsight.

Oh well.

2020 wasn't a fun year, and I'll be entirely honest 2021 wasn't off to a good start for my family and I. To put it bluntly, during the course of January alone both my grandmother and my oldest cat both passed away. As sad as it is, they weren't taken by... well, comparatively bad circumstances; Grandma wasn't taken by covid, but rather complications due to ovarian cancer. and Catty simply passed due to old age; She was over 20 years old when she went. It's been hard on us, but we're surviving.

As for this "sorta-hiatus"

Because of these losses, I feel I've been pushing myself to draw and such simply for the sake of blocking out what's happening. So to avoid potential burn-out, and maybe better my mental standings in a better way, I'm going to be slowing down art drastically for now.

I only plan on working on the must-be-done's, namely Patreon-related projects. I'm not sure how long exactly I'll want to do this, but It's probably better than burning myself out and being sad as hell on two fronts. I'm not gonna be dropping off the face of the earth or anything, in fact I'll probably be around The Official Discord a bit if you wanna join and chat, but I'll save the shameless plugging for less depressing announcements.


tl;dr Death in the family has been making me use art to block out the world, and risk art burnout, so I wanna take a step back for a while and only work on Patreon stuff and maybe better my brain for a while.

Anyhoo, I hope you all stay safe, give your grandparents and pets a hug for me, and hopefully February and beyond have some good news in store!

I've had some ideas recently, mostly trying to find something in art I wanna focus more on. I've got a few ideas myself, but I also really wanna hear what's popular amongst you guys. We've almost reached 1k watchers and that's awesome, so I wanna see if there's a general consensus of things you wanna see more of in the future!

And on the topic of ideas from you guys...

What would be something I can do with Patreon to encourage more folks to support there? I know ultimately nobody wants to pay for things when you can get stuff for free anyway, but I really want to make this work and I wanna offer you guys something to make it worth it! So, any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Anyhoo, that's about it, hope you all have a wonderful day or evening~!

It is currently 2am, I'm running off 4 hours of sleep. Woooooooooooo....

I'll spare you the details, and get right to some decent news; I'm slowly getting back into drawing. I've been sketching a few things here and there whenever I get the chance, and a bit of drive has returned, it's not much, and not sure when I'll be back entirely, but that's up to time to tell. However, I've come to a realization that work on Terysium is not coming as smoothly.... Simply put, while I've done some concept sketching and story-building, I just don't have the will to work on the main comic. I'm working towards finding a way to get that drive back, but I just don't have anything concrete.

Anyway, yeah, that's about it. It's early as hell, fuck capitalism and I've managed to doodle a bit. Hope you all have a wonderful day and stay safe and all that stuff everyone else is talkin' about.

Sooooo... it's been a bit quiet around here...

To be blunt, I've just entirely ran out motivation for art. The most I've managed in the past month have been maybe a few sketches but otherwise I've got nothing. I figured all I needed was a short break, but with how this year has been going, and with my job just getting worse and worse, I'm just not sure when I'll manage to bounce back.

That being said, if you're at all interested in what I'm up to outside the lack of art, I urge you to consider joining the Discord! Shard and I have been hard at work trying to make it a nice place for folks to hang out, and even been thinking of things to engage with people more; We've considered a regularly scheduled game night if interest was there, maybe even hosting multiplayer game servers! Heck, if enough art-drive returns I may even host an art raffle at some point!

If you're at all interested you can join at https://discord.gg/uZjHHEN
If you're not interested, that's perfectly fine too, and I'm sorry I don't have anything to show after a month's absence.

Anyway, that's about it, hope you all stay safe and healthy, and let's hope things get better for all of us.

It's 4am, I went to bed late, nearly slept through my alarm due to it being quiet compared to my fan, what better way to pass the time than to ramble about my thoughts?

So, to start, I'm tired. Not just because of the aforementioned time of writing this, but just tired with my life and all that. To clarify, I'm not tired of living don't worry about anything of that sort, I'm just exhausted from the trials of life presently. My job has gotten much more busy, consistently busy, and mentally draining because of our new lead. I have nothing against her as a person, but as a superior she's dense, incapable of communicating, a control freak, thick-headed, and dishonest. So working with her is not the most pleasant experience, to say the least.
I don't know what to do in life anymore. My job is exhausting, but I'm thankful for it simply because it's safe; It's stable and not going anywhere any time soon. But I loathe it because it's mindnumbing, frustrating, and exhausting. My only passion in life, art, is no better really since now I can't even focus on that either. So I'm left here doing nothing.
Ultimately though, I'm just another 20-something lost in the noise of 2020. There's likely millions like me all equally tired and confused and scared of what the future holds, so all I can do is vent my frustrations, and hope that good things are in store for the second half of this year.

Anyway, it took an hour to write down more ramblings about my breathtakingly bland first-world problems, I'm gonna eat some breakfast and get ready for work.

I love you all, so very much, and I wish you all safety and success during these dark times.

As much as I'd love to keep a super consistent schedule for it, It's just not realistic given the current circumstances. So, I've decided that until further notice Terysium updates will be on a "when they're ready" basis. Sorry to those of you genuinely invested, but I cannot comfortably keep it at a weekly basis while juggling work and keeping myself sane.

Anyway, that's all, please keep yourselves safe out there in these uncertain times!

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If you haven't already, consider joining the Official Terysium/Silvrsterlng Discord at https://discord.gg/uZjHHEN for updates on art, life, Terysium, and just having a nice time chatting with swell folks!

It's been a while since I've done one of these, too long in fact. It's been one hell of a year so far, what with the world seemingly coming apart at the seams around us. Meanwhile, life seems to have remained mostly the same for me, which I suppose is a good thing. Work's been frustrating, sure, but I'm pretty sure at this point I just hate my job and that's that. Which, admittedly, is not what I want to happen. But I digress, I shouldn't spend an entire journal whining about being employed at a time like this.
I have come to other realizations though, specifically about what art has become for me. Art use to be one of my favorite past-times; Just spending hours doodling and drawing without a care in the world. But now I don't think I have that kind of feeling anymore? I don't seem to draw because I want to anymore, but because of some sorta false sense of obligation? Like, if I don't draw I'm never going to find the success that I think I desire? Like, what kind of success do I even want? I've got so many things I wanna be known for but can't settle on any of them I guess; I wanna be known for Terysium, and the stories it can tell, I wanna be known for cute things, or lewd things, or pokemon smut, or what? I honestly don't know anymore.
At this point I'm convinced I just have absolutely no idea what I wanna do in life as a whole. What I plan on doing with the next 60-80 years as a squishy ball of tissue and electricity piloting a bone-and-flesh mech on a blue speck in a sea of infinite blackness. I wish I had the answers in front of me, to make things so much easier and just follow a course, but I guess at that point I wouldn't exactly be living my life, huh? And I can't just base myself on whatever others want either.
I honestly don't even know what this log is about anymore, just me rambling and putting my thoughts into words on a screen, that I decided was worthy reading material to 800+ people who probably just want funny animals doing silly or sexy things.
Oh well, enough rambling, time to go to work, and then get ready for Terraria tomorrow!

As you may have noticed there hasn't been a lot of Terysium updates; Terysium is on pause until I go on vacation from my day-job. Once that happens I'll get back to work on it but until then there won't be any Terysium Updates. Super sorry for that, but that's life. I hope yall had a wonderful Easter ^_^;

---

Consider joining the Official Terysium/Silvrsterlng Discord at https://discord.gg/uZjHHEN for updates on art, life, Terysium, and just having
a nice time chatting with swell folks!

Just a brief heads-up, there isn't gonna be a page of The Terysium Chronicles this week. With this whole pandemic going on, my job has been all the more mentally exhausting, so I've decided to take a week break to lighten my work load just a bit until I can take a proper vacation for the first time in almost three years woops
Sorry for the inconvenience, hopefully things smooth out soon.

I made an Official Silvr/Terysium Discord! Come join, make sure to read the rules!

https://discord.gg/uZjHHEN

Here we go again...

So, my entire household has been plagued with some kind of
stomach flu, and I've been bedridden for about 2-ish days now. I'm getting better, but unfortunately that means work on literally everything
has been halted until further notice.

So much for 2020 starting with a bang =w=;

Ho ho hoooo-boy, life sure has been a touch hectic.

To make it brief, I haven't gotten much done due to having to help with my mother getting surgery on her shoulder. To make a long story short, she's fine now but my dad and I have to keep an eye on her for a bit.
On top of that, I haven't gotten a good night sleep in almost two weeks so hurray! =w=

Surprisingly the least stressful stuff has been my job and the holidays, so there's that silver lining ^u^

Anyhoo, I guess that covers it, everything's fine I'm just tired as can be! Happy holidays~!

So, I've got a lotta stuff on my mind, lots of stuff to talk about and announce.

First off! As of right now, Terysium has concluded... It's first chapter! There is gonna be a whole lot more of it in the future, just... not this year. No new pages will release for the rest of 2019; When I started Terysium I didn't plan out the workflow well enough and, combined with the unpredictability of a retail job, there were some dry-spells where nothing got done. I'm gonna take some time to make sure that kinda stuff doesn't happen as often with the next part of The Terysium Chronicles.

While on the topic of the next part of Terysium, I'm thinking of doing a little rebranding; Originally the plan was gonna be a series of comics all under the series name "The Terysium Chronicles" but I think it'd just be easier and overall less confusing if they all are just referred to as different chapters of a whole story.

Next up, I'm considering perhaps taking Commissions in the near future; If I do I'll make another announcement about it with all the details then, as for right now it's just on the list of possibilities.

Anyhoo, I think that should settle all my current thoughts and ideas about what's to come, and I'd absolutely LOVE any and ALL feedback you guys have! ^u^