Oh gosh, this weekend sure was something.

Okay...Friday I head over to see my boyfriend...right? Well, I get down there and he isnt at the usuall place that he meets me ya? Well, me and his friends are all looking for him and we see him on the side of the road with some of his other friends. But I decide to follow him and all that...just being a puppy that follows his master...lol. But yeah...I got to see him for a while but he was talking to his friends and all that. I wasnt annoyed or anything...but yeah...he stayed over at his friend's mothers house and I stayed over at another place...well.

Saturday comes and Im waiting for my boyfriend cause he said that he was going to see me that day right well...hours pass and no sign of him...I try calling him and his phone is dead. And his friends try to call him as well...we went looking all over at his friends' houses to see if we could find him but no luck. I begin to worry and freak out and everybody is like...Im sure he's fine. But yeah...I worry if I dont know where he is at...I started to cry cause I was so worried about him.

But I didnt see him that day at all. The next day though...his sister gets a call and it was him. I was so relieved though I didnt hear anything until like...11 or 12. But I was so warm and happy after that cause I knew he was alright...I wasnt planning to stay two nights down here...just Friday but I wanted to see my boyfriend so badly.

He was gone for so long because his friend's father is dying...he was down there so that he could be there for his friend. So sweet. Cause his friend wanted him to stay to give him comfort.

He came down to see me Sunday at 6 pm and we hung out from there and stuff. I was so happy to see him...I just dont know why...I just started crying a little while I hugged him. Cause I missed him so much. And I actually got to spend time with him from being away from him for 2 weeks basically.

He knew I was worried. He said, 'Im sorry, I didnt mean to make you worry.' Me and him are going to be calling each other more often so we can make plans that dont get into his daily schedual. I told him that I have a week off after this one. So yeah...Im going to plan to see if I could see him again soon.

My boyfriend is getting a job really quickly. I mean...I think he starts soon. And Im like in my head...I wish I had that kind of connection with jobs! Xp

But yeah...Im happy so we are going to work around that...he's going to start getting some money and he's going to be saving it for an appartment.

Im happy for him...I mean...I really am. Im tired though...I went to bed around 2:30 am last night and woke up around 6:30 am. There was no alarm clock so yeah...but um...sheesh...I got to school around 7:45 am. I was like 45 minutes late. *meep* It sucks...but it was the only time I was late for school...Im really tired...but I got to sleep and cuddle with my boyfriend...*giggles* Im all happy from that. I cant stop thinking about it though.

Though...little worry still resides in my thoughts. I do hope...for his well being. And I know he can take care of himself...its just that...yeah...I love him so dearly.

Today is the day I get to see my darling...Im so excited that Im sick to my stomach...well and plus Im nervous. I have a test today and all that...and plus...*sighs* I have to be at the restaurant Terrior today at 9 am for class...its a feild trip until 10:30 am.

Not really looking forward to that...my class doesnt start until 9 am and I have to be at Terrior...and the thing is...I dont know where its at. So Im going to have some trouble...

I spent like...from 7 pm to 11:30 pm last night drawing a picture for my boyfriend in this booklet thing that holds around 50 pictures or whatever...so far I think I got 20...lol...yeah...god but it looks so cool...Im going to show my boyfriend what I got so far!

I brought some of my books...I mean...Im reading Gravitation 1-10 again...I dont have 11 or 12 yet...so I have to just re-read them so I can familiarize myself with the story. But yeah...right now Im in the middle of 9 and then to 10. After Im done getting 11 and 12 for the graphic novels then I want to get all the novels and then the new series Gravitation EX...god...lol...I want it so bad cause its like my favorite book ever! Maybe I'll even get the tv series? Um...yeah...I love them books! :3 Its cute, funny and sad. Its a romance / comedy book so I enjoy it...

I wonder though...I mean...school is so tough. I guess I know why they say only the strong servive but there are many different kinds of strengths out there...*giggles* Yeah...Im thinking about him. lol.

My life will truly begin when I begin to live with my hunny! :3 *thinks dirty* But yeah...lol...its pretty normal though...I mean...my feelings for him expand itself far out into the galaxy. lol.

But yeah...*blushes* its kind of funny that ever since I've gotten my boyfriend...I've been alot more cheerful and stuff...lol...I mean...I am cheerful alot even when I didnt have him in my life...its just life has more meaning now...he's here for me...and Im there for him. :3 Its like...yeah...his my puppy and Im his kitty! ;3 lol...literally, his animal is the wolf, mine is the lion, he's a leo and I am an aquarius! ;3 lol.

Woo, tomorrow is Friday, the day I get to see my hunny! :3

I havent seen him in a while but yeah, I called him last night and got to talk to him for a tiny bit. He was busy but he answered! ;3 WOO! Im happy that he isnt aggrivated! ;3 I just want him happy after all.

I got a big assignment due tomorrow for my Restaurant Management class. CUL - 245 seems pretty hard...but I just have to get my recipes written in a menu format and then just cost everything out and then finish up the Power Point for my presentation on my final week next week. lol.

I have one week off after Im done with this class...so I was probably thinking about seeing if I could plan something with my boyfriend if he isnt busy. But Im okay if he doesnt have time for it but yeah.

I drew 3 pictures yesterday...and i wrote a weird poem for class...it was really weird. lol. It was pretty scary too! XP

Ha but it sure gave me a giggle in class. I got a intervew assistance meeting to do today...so I can work on my interviewing skills. But thats after Im done with class...so it shouldnt take that long...nope.

Today I should do my laundry when I get home...I need to wear something comfortable for my boyfriend when I get there...I usually wear shorts like swimming trunks...and a really soft comfortable nice shirt. Usually my clothes are nice...but sometimes I just wear things cause I have nothing else to wear.

Last time I saw my boyfriend though...I gave him my expensive silver bracelet I got from my mother when I graduated High School. I mean...its really nice...I trust my boyfriend so I let him hold on to it until I get him his promise bracelet.

Though now that I think about it...I cant stop thinking about him...even when I am with him. He is so precious to me. lol...I go through a life with him in my head...and I just get so flustered...and excited.

*sighs* Yeah...tomato the beef in your patty...love your bacon...and the sausage...lol...

I just felt like saying something random is all. I just feel really cheerful and loved. I've been playing Sly Cooper II: Band of Thieves at home...when I have my free time...I just finished 2 chapters of it so far with 100% on both of them...and working on the 3rd now. Its fun...you get to play as a Thievious Racoonus and try to steal back the Clockwork Parts of his family's rival. The Klaww gang has the parts yet scattered across the world with them doing horrible deeds and stuff and you have to infiltrate their lairs and stuff and steal the parts back. Its really fun.

I made dinner yesterday too...I made lemon chicken breasts, corn and cheesy rice.

I dont like cooking like normal people though...cause my mom was just like...use the stuff in the boxes...and Im like...I'd rather use the stuff fresh!

God...but yeah...everything was original for her part cause Im not really using the talents I learned in school. Oh well...I love making pot stickers though...from scratch of course...they are my fave...I can make 100 of them in 30 minutes. :3

Im a little worried. I mean Im just worried about my boyfriend is all. So Im going to make him happy! :3

I got to watch myself so I dont make any mistakes. For class I mean. lol. Im just trying to have fun with it. But thats just normal for me. I got a new phone with my same number so Im happy for that. So I can call my boyfriend again. He's usually busy though so he doesnt answer...but I just leave him a message to tell him that I love him every now and then. I just want to give him attention ya know?

He is the king after all. *laughs* Well...he's a leo! ;3 I havent seen him in almost um...10 days. Its cause we live like 3 hours away from each other. I mean...its only 1 hour and 30 minutes from my school...so that isnt really a problem...I even would want to see him when Im at home. Travel to see my hunny. Though...I really miss him.

He is my first relationship...I want it to be my last as well. I dont like breaking hearts or anything. He is my lover and I care about him. I would do anything for him and Im really attracted to him mentally and physically. I have fun with him and his friends.

I think he's perfect ya know? I just want to do things right for him. He's the only one I want to love. I know it still might be early in our relationship...but I would give my life to save him, if he were in trouble. He's mine...no one elses, and Im his and only his.

I do wonder, about my future...and I see me and him being happy, we have not even been in a fight at all. I dont even think that we would either. We are really opposite...yet...we go together cause we have so much in common. Im really happy we found each other.

He's so sweet! X3

Today Im going to have to work hard on my assignments in class...its so difficult its hard to follow along with it. But I know I can do it. It just takes hard work.

I went around going places to get applications. I got this feeling that I might get hired at Denny's near the Fred Meyer. I just checked it out yesterday and they kind of acted weird and got people all around me...(I was wearing my chef uniform...) So yeah...lol...I guess they might need a chef or something. If they need one then I wont have to worry about a job cause they'll hire me....Im just confident about this one.

Yesterday though...I was in one of those moods ya know? I was so bored that I wanted to do something...so I grabbed a pitcher and walked all the way down to the river.

I went blackberry picking. Though I cause myself pain and suffering to get them...I have a lot of scratches and that sort of thing due to the thorns in the plants...I got them on my legs, arms, chest and stuff...and had to go through a lot of bugs and all that. Im hurting right now but when I got done I was near the river and decided to go the less harmful way and I slipped and fell into the river and I swam to the other side cause there wasnt any place to get up the way I fell and I realized my phone was in my pocket. So I took it out and it was all sparky and it was vibrating like the shock was going through my hands.

It was really weird so I walked home with my pickings of that day and I told my mom that my phone got wet cause I fell. She was shocked and scared cause I need my phone cause I go all the way to Downtown Portland from Canby...its like a 1 1/2 hour trip to there and back and well...I dont have the phone with me right now cause it doesnt work.

I have no pictures of my boyfriend on that phone anymore...and I dont have any numbers that I have saved on there of that of my friends so I dont know their numbers now. I need to get my boyfriends number again and all that. I cannot believer everything on the phone is lost...my mom says I might need to get a new one....maybe if I do...I can get a better one? I dunno but my dad was like...you dont even need a damn phone. My response was that I laughed. He glared at me and he was like, WHAT!?! I was like...nothing...I was just laughing. My dad is so rude. But yeah...now...Im phone-less...and what if my boyfriend wants to call me or something...or if a job offer is trying to reach me? Im so...in the DEAD ZONE!!!

My boyfriend's grandmother called him on Friday and asked to see if he wanted to visit. Yeah...my boyfriend called me before I headed over there to tell me that he wanted to hang with his grandma this weekend...I was like...okay! X3

I was totally okay with that. I was bummed but I was totally fine...lol. As long as he would have fun. I just want him to be comfortable and happy! ;3

Thats how its supposed to be...the man is supposed to get what HE wants...lol...yep yep! ;3 Im okay with that...I just want my man! X3 *chuckles*

So yeah...my dad is being a butt munch and stuff...hinting that I need to get a job...pssh...whatever...I know I need to get a job and I'm looking right now...gesus. BLAH! Xp

My weekend went okay...just been itching alot though and my wounds have opened again...god I hate bleeding and itching but it feels so good when I do I cant help it...its like a pleasure but a hate...its like Im having a love hate relationship with myself! X[ I totally dislike doing this to my body though. I want to have a nice body. XP But I cant when Im itching myself all the time due to my allergies and my allergic reactions. Im going to look for this Inn I've been hearing about...maybe I could work there? Well...I better start looking...again...sheesh.

Its Friday...WOO! Im going to go over to see my hunny today! :3 I've been offical with my boyfriend for 20 days now!

So yeah...never had a boyfriend before so its like...great for me...

Im all excited and all that...yesterday I got an interview with Fred Meyers...I did quite well...except one question...god I was so stupid and nervous...tempature danger zone...BAH...40 to 140* I cannot believe myself on that though. And they were only worried to hired me cause of how long Im going to stay with them. I dont know how long...I mean my boyfriend asked me to move in with him when he and his friends move...of course I didnt say anything about that or whatever...I just said I know Im going to be here for a while...not sure when Im going to leave. But heck...everybody is like that...they dont know when life is going to lead them somewhere else...right?

I havent been so artsy this weekend...but I have been getting a good deal of sleep for sure. But Im just excited to get out of school right now...

Only 2 more hours to go until Im out of this class. Then I would have to take another 1 1/2 hours to get to his house from here...heck its worth it. I love seeing him...and soon...I will be living with the guy. *giggles* But yeah...I mean Im not moving in with him right now or anything...but its just for the future, the near really fast future ahead of me. I would love to just be by my boyfriend's side for the rest of my life...he wants to be in a long term relationship as well...so Im holding him up to that...

Though...Im a little hungry now...and without a job...it sucks...cause I have no money for food for me...or money to spend for my boyfriend or save for when I move out to buy stuff for our appartment. Im a giver...much like my hunny...cause he likes to spoil me and I love to spoil him! :3

Steven Eugene Holland
July 26, 2007 / Thursday
GEN – 202

My Culinary Light bulb

As a child, I grew up with the foods my grandmother cooked up for us. My family and I lived with her for a while when I was young, then to my grandfather’s house too. Both with Native American decent. I’ve have had soups like Lamb stew or roast broth. Almost everything I ate at my grandmother’s was soup or stew.
When I got to become older in elementary school, I was introduced to sweets and junk food. I loved them, but I wasn’t interested in eating them everyday. I loved eating my vegetables. They are healthy and good for you, so I thought I would just eat anything that I could. Although, unfortunately, I was introduced to Liver and onions, I never hated eating anything so much. So whenever I go somewhere I get chills due to being forced to eat this vulgar item.
Around middle school, I became known for my talents. Arts where my forte, I became well known and people paid me for my pictures. As I grew older into high school, I began to think what more can I do with my talent, something to fall back upon. I graduated high school, met some new people, and gained new friends. They pointed me to the Western Culinary Institute. I did much research and thought that it was a wondrous opportunity for me to gain this knowledge that they would provide me and I would become a professional chef.
Being a chef, simply put is just a desire of mine for a personal thing I wanted to become for my future. I may not know fully the things I can create just at the time. But as the pages of my life started moving forward, my eyes were opened. I have yet to know the many things that the culinary world has in store.
One of the main reasons why I wanted to learn to become a professional chef is to travel to different countries to learn their cultures and about their food. I hope that one day; I would be able to go to Greece, Italy, France, Japan, China, and other places that spark my interest. The other reason was so that I could cook for the one I love. Quite a normal answer for such a wonderful career I must say. My drive for this is to become famous and wealthy. I want to be the best out of my family, and other people, but for that I must work hard for this challenge to be met.
Though I don’t feel I want to become well known for owning a restaurant, but by the foods I create and art that I may birth to the world from my imagination. So who knows on how my future will unfold.

Oh god I feel so enlightened today! ;3

This morning I woke up, I was getting ready to get off of my bed and something super soft touched my leg...it was dark so I felt around and it was my baby Kahlua! :3 So cute! ;3 She was purrin and all that...meowed when I touched her...AWWWWWWWW! X3

So apparently my kitty slept with me last night! CUTE! ;3 Im happy though...I've been doing alot of assignments lately...and Im just all giddy and all that...tomorrow is going to be great...especially if I dont get called cause Im going to see my boyfriend! :3 *sighs* Yep...Im so lovestruck right now I cannot even think about anything else.

The poem I wrote yesterday was so romantic too...I cannot really believe I wrote it...but I did...I usually never write much but when I do its so...romantic.

I got home yesterday about 1:45 pm or so...and I went to bed at 3 pm...and woke up around 7:37 pm and stayed up until 11:49 pm and woke up this morning at 4:30 am. Hah...so about 9 hours of sleep...maybe a little more...but yeah.

God I love my boyfriend! Such a handsome guy...lol...he's funny too! ;3

http://a963.ac-images.myspacecdn.co.....f191757552.jpg

Welcome to the world of deliberation,

Shroud this marvel bestowed upon entering,

Glimmering romance, dwell as the stern stars burnish,

Cloak this warmth the sun bequeaths, luminous love,

Untold within, encirclement feelings of dynamism,

Compassion attends the unscathed, unwelcome,

Sentinel's dilution exist within thy sanctuary,

Smoldering sophistication, cohort's devoted gemstone,

Posture, blazing with admiration, beloved,

Admiration, such magnificence of milieu,

Fortification of thy ajared blemish, wounded and fallen,

Protracted resentment, roaring excruciatingly,

Link of togetherness, perpetually and ceaselessly,

Bereavement cannot even demise the luminosity.

It feels like Tuesday to me.

Im taking English and Restaurant Management classes right now. They seem so difficult...but maybe its all in my head! :3 *smiles* I have no worries...I mean...heck...now that I have someone in my life now...everything seems alot more positive.

I dont know about my father though...he seems moody all the time and yells alot...not just at me but at my brother and mother.

Yesterday I saw the new episode of Spongebob, it was pretty nuts...lol...so today I will get to watch another new one! ;3 I've been playing the new Castlevania game I got for my DS Lite. Portrait of Ruin...just yesterday I got my game percentage to 1000.00%. That was sure alot of work...that was my first time I beat that game 100%...well...in that case 1000.00%. lol. It was fun but I still have alot to uncover to be complete fully! I just have 2 more spells to unlock for the chick, Charlote, or however that is spelt. And master all of the Jonathan's sub weapons...and one more quest to finish...and find and obtain the items from the monsters. So I still have work to do.

About the job...I called yesterday and I havent been called back...she says she didnt look over my resume yet...so maybe I'll call her today if she doesnt call me.

If I dont start my job soon I will go nuts...but I dont hear anything Thursday about the job Im going to head to my boyfriend's friends house on Friday. Just alot of work I guess...I just hope he's feeling better...(a rather personal thing is going on, not between me and him though).

So yeah...Im so happy though! ;3 *smiles*

Well, yesterday was his birthday...I had a blast hanging out with him. I was so happy but he had to leave Sunday afternoon due to his parents...its okay though. I mean...its not like Im never going to see him again right?

Its funny cause his best buds Jessica and Troy are in a relationship...and me and Chris are in a relationship...he hangs out more with Troy...and I hang out with Jessica...lol...its like the men in the relationship like hanging with the other men...lol...and so on and so forth...god I feel like a woman though...and Im not! XP

Hah...so I start my new classes today...I dont know what they are but I hope I will know sooner ya know?

*giggles* Yeah...I went to see Transformers with my boyfriend on Friday...I actually didnt think it would be a good movie but it turned out to be great. lol. So yeah.

Im so happy...I mean...I love my boyfriend so much and he loves me...I know I can feel it. :3 It just makes my day. I always have something to look forward to. And Im getting really close on getting a job...well...yeah...hehe.

God, Im so tired...but I only have to wait like 2 more days to see my boyfriend...I drew a bunch of pictures this week of my boyfriend and me. So yeah...hehe...*rubs eyes* I cannot believe that Im SO tired...I took 2 Benadryl tablets this morning before I left cause its allergy season right?

Well basically the whole trip I was drowsy and totally asleep! Xp

*sighs* And plus I drew a comic yesterday in class...I dont know why...I just did and its finals week...tomorrow is going to be very...very scary. I hope everyone on my team shows up! Xp

My dad was doing my FAFSA for the second time yesterday came in my room all angry and told me to go with him into the den...he sat down and started doing the FAFSA and began talking shit, I mean...he said something I totally didnt understand...I was like, 'what?!'. Then he said, 'grow the fuck up!' really mean like...and I was like...um...okay...I didnt even do anything. God what an a$$. *yawns*

Tired...so so tired...but Im just all anxious to see my boyfriend. Yesterday I went to Fred Meyers and went to look at jewelry. I saw something that I wanted to get my boyfriend. A really expensive bracelet that is $399.99 dollars. Thats alot of money...but in my head...its not that much. Im thinking about when I get a job...and get enough money...I'm going to buy it for my boyfriend...as a promise. Meaning that I wont leave him and that I would stay with him forever...hehe. *rubs eyes*

Better get to class though...I feel a little slower than usual.

Heh. Yeah...I got to see my boyfriend last weekend. His grandmother died so he wasnt sure if he could see me but I went all the way down there and his friend Jessica showed me to his house. He was surprised that I showed up and he said...I thought I wasnt going to see you cause of my mother. I said, 'I'd rather try to see you than not seeing you at all.'. He smiles and kissed!

:3

Next weekend Im going to be staying with him for 3 nights...Friday through Monday. His birthday is on Monday so he'll be 18. *claps* I've been very artistic lately. I've been drawing pictures of us. Me and Chris lately. *giggles* Yeah...too bad I cant scan them up. I would like to show alot of you.

Since my guy is a shapeshifter he can transform into almost anything. My boyfriend is a werewolf. So yeah...my guy is a werewolf with him too...except I have that crest of the moon on my throat instead of on my nose for the lion form (main). lol. So yeah...I just cant wait to move out.

My father is being a pain in the butt and he is trying to take away my cell phone. He said. 'Every time I see you, you are on the phone, YOUR NOT RESPONSIBLE WITH IT!'

My dad is so weird...I am responsible...he rarely sees me anyway so what does he know? And plus...I can call for free on the weekends and free after 9 pm on the week. God...what an r-tard...lol. But yeah...god my dad is just plain ol' mean...even my mom thinks so!

OMG! Im so excited...the weekend! Im going to see him TOMORROW! *giggles* I made so much food for him he is going to burst. I love to spoil him with my food and my attention and all that! :3

Im thinking about drawing a picture of us together for his birthday!

He's turning 18. So yeah...and I told you guys its very rare for me to fall for a younger guy but he took my breath away! *sighs* What a sweetie! :3 Yeah...funny...he's a black wolf and Im a dark brown lion...so yep. We are so opposite but opposites attract ya know! GOD I love him! I cannot wait until I get to hear his voice again!

I also got something that he likes. Im sure he'll like it. I like techno and he likes heavy metal. lol. You know...I dont care...I love him and it doesnt matter if the things he does is different...I can learn from him and enjoy his comany for the rest of my life...he is so special to me that I'll do anything for him!

IM HIS BITCH! <3

Gosh...alot has happened. Yeah...I havent been on as much and havent been up-dating my journal alot either...not enought internet time.

So yeah...Im extremely happy. I have a boyfriend. *nods* Yep yep. Its so nice. Im an Aquarius and he is a Leo. Opposite, quite. Hehe. I love him so much and he loves me. He calls me sweetheart and I call him hunny! :3 *chuckles* So yeah...Im spending 1 night with him every week. Only on Fridays and leave on Saturdays.

He wants me to move in with him when he moves out into a better apartment. He and his friends are doing it...its just basically his 2 friends which are in a relationship...girlxboy...and me and my man! :3 So its just going to be the 4 of us. We are all going to get computers so that we can play WoW together...and all that. But its going to be mostly me and him, Im going to be a Tauren Shaman and he is going to be a Tauren Warrior...both of us are going to be males of course! X3

God...I love him so much. Today I made sushi...and he loves sushi so I called him up and asked if he wanted some sushi that I made today and he said yes. Hehe...so I rode the MAX all the way down there took the bus and all that and gave him some food for that night...hehe...he was really happy, we kissed and hugged and all that...god.

Heh. I dont know what else to say...besides that Im in heaven! X3

Yeah...everything seems fine now...my parents figured out my transportation problem. So Im going to take the bus...I probably wont have to stay on it that long...max is probably...what...1 1/2 hours? Gosh...

So yeah...I miss my best friends so much...hopefully I can hang out with them this weekend! I also have to call Fred Meyers today to check on my job status. It would be so nice if I could get a job there...

And my nose is all weird...allergies. And today...I have to make a cheese suflee! Those things are hard to make!

Im sort of tired...but I just hope nothing goes wrong. I have to wake up earlier now...probably 5 am now...but not as early as when I was with Jacob and David. *blach* I miss them so much! I kind of want to cry just thinking about it. They mean so much to me.

I hung out with Justin and his friends Nigel and Deven. So yesterday was fun. Played Dungeons & Dragons. Justing and Nigel died...and Deven...god...his character sounds so gay! *laughs*

My dad gave me $5 dollars today for me to do whatever with it...drink or whatever...I might just save it for later when I want something I guess...well...Im going...have to get to class so yeah...toodles!

I have hardly any time for the internet now since I live with my mother...I mean...my dad is home and now its crazy. I cannot be on the computer much anymore due to parents and stuff...I wish I had my internet but I dont even have my computer hooked up or anything...I dont even have a desk...so my computer is just sitting there collecting dust for the time being...

Got a new game, Castlevania, Portrait of Ruin. Fun game...so yeah...and Im just waiting until I get internet connection...

And I really miss my best friends Jacob and David...I really want to spend time with them...ever since I moved away...I've been feeling so lonely without them being nearby...I couldnt sleep last night either. I had a bad dream about them...it was horrible...I really want to see them...and all that. I didnt sleep well at all either...so yeah...

Until I get internet in my room...I cannot keep contact much and I wont be on as much as I used to.

Trying to get a job at the Deli in Fred Meyer too so yeah...been doing that ever since I moved too...so yeah...see you when I get the chance!

Work is being challanging...I mean...school...lol...I considerate it work due to the physical labor I put into it!

Yeah...my chest gave out in class when I sneezed and now Im demi-parralized...so I sneezed again at the end of class and now I hurt even more...damn these sneezes! Xp

But yeah...I've been drawing at the end of my class and I was trying to draw my character as a dragon....but would'nt be called Selion...I dont think it would be Neruku either...lol...(Neruku was my older name for my older fur of me when I was younger)

I dont know why but I think I draw dragons better than lions...*meep*

I'll mix him up with a lion so that it will be different...hehe...but it still looks cool and I havent finished it...its on lined paper though...and I drew it in pen so its hard to do something like that! XP

Im in pain...waiting for my mom to come on down...so yeah...and this morning was pretty...different...I invited Ryan to come over to hang out...and he stayed the night due to my brother saying that he could stay the night...well this morning when we were about to leave (me and my mom) Ryan bumps into one of my mom's expensive pieces of work on the wall...fell on the floor and almost everything on it broke. My mom stormed in and glared at Ryan when she looked at the floor. Ryan felt really bad and he tried to help...(he is very hyper) But mom said that she doesnt hate him...its just that Ryan busts things on accident...and I always tell him to watch where he is going...my mom wanted him out...

But yeah...I had a hard time sleeping yesterday due to the allergies...I hate it...tossed and turned and I couldnt really fall asleep...especailly with the lights on and all that...there isnt really that much discipline...amoung children today which I would've hoped there were...oh well...

Oh gosh I totally forgot that I didnt do yesterdays blog! *meep*

But yeah...things are going quite well...*bleh* Im so busy...I have to make duck confit. And also...I have a runny nose and I dont like it...and the attendance in my class right now is 60% of my grade in this class cycle. So yep...super busy.

Plus I got to talk to my bud Ryan yesterday...I do miss him so Im going to be hanging out with him more often...and get him out of those bad habits...and he'll be like what he used to be like with me...except hopefully more mature...heh.

Did alot yesterday...me and my mom washed 3 of the vehicles in our driveway...and we need to still clean out the 2 cars....spent like 2 to 3 hours working on that...

I just dont like dealing with my allergies is all...havent drawn anything in a while...so it really sucks that I cannot put anything up for a while...

Damn these sneezes too...I cannot stop sneezing...been having alot of weird dreams as well...

God now I feel like I cannot get this territorial thing out of my head. Zack...Zack....ZACK! GAH!!! Gesus it feels like he is taking my place...I hate that feeling...I HATE IT! Im so jealous...and I feel like I've been pushed out for that freaking guy...I feel used...I just wanted to be the best...and now Im just some guy thrown out...thats how I feel with this Zack guy with Jacob and David...*deep sigh* I hate this...and I cannot get my mind off of it...Im SUPER jealous...and I bet they dont even care about how I feel now...I mean...heck...they are going to have a 'new' guy with them and Im going to be so left out and lonely...Im already lonely right now...and I hate it...

After a while...its just feels kind of okay...Im feeling much better...but still have an odd feeling about in me. I hugged David yesterday...and I just sort of calmed down after that. I am going to see them when they have time for me and I have time for them...they are my best friends after all.

They are going to take me to Gay Pride soon.

But yeah...I spent some time with my mother yesterday and stuff...went shopping, it was fun...unlike other people's mothers. Mine is actually cool...beautiful and fun! I just wish my dad was more like her...but my brother takes after him...and I take after my mom...(literally).

lol. But yeah...Im feeling much better...getting all situated in my home again...new room and stuff...but thank god I wont be so far away from stuff anymore...

I have...alas seen the worst day in my life so far. Im moving in with my mother...I never thought it would come to this...

Jacob...David...

Uh...*shakes head while trying to hold back the tears* Im really going to miss living with them...I feel so sick...I feel like a walking corpse. I feel so...empty. I feel like everything is my fault...and its so scary to see me away from them.

I want to see them...I moved in with my mom last night...and now...Im secluded once more. I cried so much last night...I feel as if I have no heart anymore. I learned so much...but I feel heart broken.

I dont at all hate my room mates...we are best friends. Its just that...Im not bringing in any money and I'm to leave them so that they could be better off...and not tear them apart. Not my goal.

My world has separated...yet...I want to see that world again.

Im tired. Blech. I dont like being tired. *shakes head*

Just working on a piece until Im fully inspired...but also trying to finish a commission for  Kusho. *rubs eyes* Fell asleep on the bus. Heh...and my room mate threw out the sausage I was going to eat tonight that I left out to dry out! XP I know...hehe...just as long as I cook it, it would be safe to eat...but now I didnt have breakfast! :[ He threw it in the garbage! I would've thrown it out last night if I wasnt going to eat it.

I just got a really big project that Im going to be working on really soon...so I dont think I could color or anything...and plus Im tired and need to catch up on sleep. But the computer always keeps me up...at least when Im playing a game like Final Fantasy XII it relaxes me so much that I fall asleep! X3

This student came up to me yesterday in my class and he was teasing me about the brittle...the day after David said that we couldnt work. (I was not myself that day.)

Well anyway...he was saying that, 'just like with the brittle problem you did!'

I glared at him and said, 'you'd best hold your tongue.'

God people are so retarded nowadays. No respect I tell you. I've been so busy I havent been on the IM in a long while...dunno why...its just...I've been looking for a job...trying to do art...studying...and doing homework.

I seriously need to clean up my room too but the weekends are usually hecktic! This is also the final week of this course as well! XP

Well after school Im going to go out and give back my applications...I have like 11 of them...lots of time spent filling those out...damn! XP But yeah...I did it...so Im just a little worried about school...but the teacher said I shouldnt really worry cause we have nothing assigned on Friday...like a catch up day on the last day. But yeah.

Last night my chest was really getting painful...I couldnt even crawl into bed without being in pain and moving around made it worse!

I just got so much to do. I think Im feeling artistic..perhaps...

And since its allergy season...my body kind of...broke out...it sucks...god...and I cant stop itching...even if I cut my nails.