== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
100% Pet
100% Slave
99% Bondage receiver
99% Switch
93% Bondage giver
92% Master/Mistress
92% Daddy/Mommy
90% Primal (Prey)
90% Primal (Hunter)
87% Degradation receiver
87% Submissive
86% Owner
82% Dominant
81% Non-monogamist
81% Experimentalist
79% Masochist
75% girl/boy
70% Brat tamer
49% Brat
46% Vanilla
46% Sadist
42% Voyeur
31% Exhibitionist
26% Ageplayer
19% Degradation giver
19% All-Rounder
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=592429

The appointment went perfectly good. still gonna need to keep my brain from falling apart (in other words, keep psychosis at bay for the sake of our loved ones). I will do my best for all of you because I love you all.

Gonna need to go to the bone doctor because the bottom of my spine is sore and my whole right leg is hurting. I will let you all know what's going on (if I can remember because I keep forgetting) and hopefully find the proper meds for me.

Bad news: I am still in pain and won't be able to stop crying out like a sad little boy who is heartbroken.

Good news: I am off the EEG and Med Cam

I should have posted a journal to let you all know the EEG was off as soon as it came off. Sorry for not letting you know earlier.

I will need to stay hooked into the EEG and on med-cam for 48 hours because I will need the doctors to capture moments when I have seizures and the EEG will capture moments of psychosis and seizure patterns. I will need to stay in bed for a few days (and sometimes get to bathroom and sometimes get to dinner) until the med works are done. I will be able to go online but only briefly because I wanna avoid having seizures while chatting online. I will inform you all if I can remember to. I have been forgetful for a while and will need to make sure I don't go out walking around so much. I miss you all so much and wanna be with you all.

I will need to shave my head so the electrodes can read my brainwaves and the doctors can study the patterns going on. A couple of nights ago, psychosis grips me so hard with so many bad memories that you don't wanna know about (and you don't want to know how psychotic I was) and it got to the point where I ended up condemning my sister-in-law and I don't know why I did that. I was having a tough time staying sane because of the drama that had happened and I had nightmares based on that event. When I was going psychotic that day in front of my family, the only one who didn't panic was my nephew. He was a VERY brave little boy and a hero who was so brave and took a stand. But, his parents are afraid of me now because I had a psychotic breakdown in front of their friends. My parents, the home aid, the doctors, and I are doing all we can to resolves this issue before it gets any worse. This is why I have to have an EEG examination. I will let you know when I am on anti-psychotics because I wanna keep you updated. I just hope the doctors put me on the right medications and not the ones with the side effects that screw with my system.

My mom and I went to a neurologist for the seizure that got me. I got put on medication and will be dizzy. I may have something called an EEG on my head and may have to keep it on for a full 48 hours for a full scan. I had to wear one last year too and I had hair then. This time, I will need to have my head shaven before the EEG is applied to it because having it pull my hair hurt so badly and I couldn't take it. My tongue is still in bad shape from being bitten. I was in bed last Sunday but I woke up on the floor after I was unconscious and it took me a while to get up and moving. But, I couldn't move around much and I still hurt from the seizure. I just hope to feel better. I miss you all.

I found out that I had a grand mal seizure last night and it was not known to anyone around me until they saw that I but my tongue VERY HARD. I also had one last year but didn't wanna tell you about it back then because we did not wanna worry you or stress you out. My mom and I will need to make a doctor appointment because the doctor needs to know about the seizure I had last night. I had an epidural shot in my spine this morning so I could not do any running around. I could only walk a little and have to rest a lot after that. I just keep forgetting to give updates because I am forgetful (worrying too much about everything else) and can't remember anything. I will need to have the doctor see what's going on in my head because I keep forgetting everything. I just miss being with all you furry sweethearts more than anything and hope to make it to Furpocalypse because I miss you all.

Love you all,

Itachi Prower

When you become the author of the stories, you need to record and write the stories EXACTLY the way they appear in your head (you can do arts too) and be truthful about them. You must NEVER lie or manipulate anything no matter what because the power to change reality is only outweighed by the cost and NO ONE should have that much power (especially for personal glory) which is why no one can command anything in real life. I managed to write a story on an impossible situation which I chose to record (not command) what the story was that has been in my head for so long. From now on, whenever I write stories I will record (not change) the stories and the events in the stories (past, present, and future) for the purpose of giving readers something to read about.

I have been looking up some pictures that relate to what is going on. The fursona I fell in love with helped me find a fursuiter who can help everyone to overcome stress. The fursuiter is :iamdramallama:. I found him when I looked up drama. I faved my favorite photo of him because he somehow found comfort in the sweetheart inside the photo. Those fur cons have been like a fortune teller to me. I believe the photo was a prediction that someone would rant and rave about how and why "love is weakness" which is the worst lie I ever believed. Love that is the mask of drama is a weakness to me and I intend to overcome it. I wanna do it for everyone (especially the angel in the suit) because it is certainly worth it and because it is more honorable than any kinds of favorites ever though of. True love is love without drama. I want the same thing as the angel does: To be free from drama forever. I have been having nightmares of drama that I just couldn't handle. Those nightmares have been driving me insane enough to write down just how bad drama can be. I realize now that by giving in to fear I am holding back and it made me wanna post the crazy stories about it online. True love is strength that will help everyone to overcome fear. I will do it for EVERYONE (without favoritism) because I want to be a good father and husband. I am just not ready for any IRL relationships yet. I have love children (being G-Rated), and I will always love family and friendship. True love is worth all of it as it is perfect harmony. I worry too much and need to start having faith. I owe it to the whole fandom to be brave, truthful, and unselfish because all of the furries have been helping me to find true love. As soon as I found someone who is true and loving, I fell in love. I finally realized, just now, that if you are to be with the one you love forever you must commit yourself to that one and only person you will ever be in love with and no one else. I am never going to cheat on whoever I marry. That person will be the ONLY priotity and none are to be priority any higher than the marriage, for true love MUST come first before all else (no exceptions) and anyone who does something that is a higher than a relationship is a cheater and cheaters are not welcome in the furry fandom. It hurts the reputation of the furry cons. Be true to your true love and stay together forever, no matter what!!!!

All I wanted to do was get all the nightmares out of my head by writing a journal about how bad they can get. I should have put them in a word document instead of posting it online where is could stress others out. I deleted the journal because I figured it was stressful to have to read something like that and because it was something that a drama queen would say. I don't mean to stress anyone out and I don't wanna go away forever. I hate the world so much. Not being able to work has been taking it's toll on me and so is missing out on the furry cons. I wanna be with you all again. I'm just in so much pain and I don't mean to take it out on any of you. I miss you all.

Love you all

Itachi Prower

The exercises and heating pad and massages helped me out so much. It allowed me to walk around best buy for a bit. I still don't have the strength to walk around the mall though. I will have to make sure I stay hydrated though because I don't want to have another seizure like I did last summer. I was unconscious when I had the seizure and I woke up to the medics who brought me to the medical center and I was in the hospital for an entire week. I'm glad my mom kept me company and I had some family members visit me. My EEG was longer than it should have been and I could never understand why. I was having ice water because I needed it to feel better. I just hope I will be able to work again so I can make the money I need to make the trip to furpocalypse because I miss you all.

The only item that helped me to still my mind was the stone I got from Furpocalypse. It has been helping me a whole lot more than I ever imagined. It is like a miniature heating pad that helps with the pain when I have it in hot water. My shot for the swelling at the bottom of my spine is 8/3/2015 which is gonna put me out of commission for a few days. Surgery is that last resort. I just don't know how long I can last having the pain going through my whole entire leg. I will let you know when I get the shot.

Love you all

In a couple of weeks, I may be getting surgery. I may actually need it. For a long time now, I have been feeling like something bit my right ass cheek REALLY FUCKING HARD!!! Not one second of it has been pleasant at all and it is certainly not comfortable. I just don't know how much longer I can hold out in this kind of pain but I will do my best to endure it until it is time for surgery. Tomorrow, I will be at the orthopedic doctor for my hip because I need to get better. I still have a long way to go before I can go to work again. I just hope to make the trip to Furpocalypse because I have a reindeer that I wanna visit with (along with other furries). Just hoping to get better because my co-workers miss me and I wanna get back to work with them. I just hope I'll can stay online so I can keep you all updated on what's going on.

I love you all

my family is poor. as sore as my body is. I have to get better so I can get back to work can get my family a new home. I wanna go for Furpocalypse because it is the ONLY fur con I have this year. I would go to Fangcon to comfort our beloved queen but the con is too far away and I don't have the money to go. I have so much on which to catch up (especially the bills). When my family gets a new home, I will then save up for a fursuit and #AC16. I wanna visit the sweetheart who helped me overcome my addiction to alcohol. I used to think alcohol was a life saver, but I was wrong. The raccoon in Rochester, NY has proven to me that alcohol is, in truth, a life wrecker that causes loved ones to in-fight. I was drunk enough to in-fight with the panda who once saved us from the Mayan Apocalypse by hosting a party. That's why I am staying sober for my loved ones. I intend to keep the perverts off the streets because some people at those late nights have little children with them and those families need sleep and need all the time in the world to enjoy the beautiful sunlight, the beautiful moon, and all the stars. For now, all I can do is gaming and watching videos. I look at all kinds of arts and like to keep my mind busy. I wanna get caught up on ABC's Once Upon a Time because I have been missing out on a whole lot of the show due to the work schedule I was stuck with that wouldn't let me watch OUAT. I will keep you all updated as best I can and try my hardest to stay sober for all of you.

Love you all

I share the petitions to help animals on Facebook because it's easy. The right thing is however showing everyone here on FA as well because all furs need to know what is going on. I need to start posting the animal rescue petitions so everyone here on FA can sign the petition to save animals.

Love you all,

Jacob D. Cleary (aka Itachi Prowler)

I have been reading comments around the internet from some people to tell others to do something self-destructive. It is heartbreaking and I realized just how bad it can get. I know this because I have been having these nightmares about cyberbullying and didn't realize I was feeling the pain of others. I learned that when people who encountered cyberbullies never knew who or what cyberbullies were and didn't realize they were all using characters as puppets to manipulate autistic people online. I have had that kind of madness before because I wasn't good at understanding the difference between fantasy and real life back then. I do now. Not all cyberbullies strike you directly (though some will). Many of them can pretend to be you and (while pretending to be you) bully others in hopes that they get away with it and you end up suffering in one of two ways. The direct suffering is that if they know they don't have leverage over you they will simply do a frame job to hurt you badly. The other kind of suffering is that they would spare you for a price because that is how they get leverage over you and as long as they have leverage over you, there is no way out of it without having the blame be put upon you just because you do not comply to their threats. Such slavery can lead to pressuring you into doing something wrong so they can use it to blackmail you later on (if not humiliate you) and will possibly persuade you to risk your life to get in trouble. This is cruelty that I don't want in any future generations of any kind. All of you deserve better than that. Don't allow cyberbullies to control you. Don't just block them. REPORT THEM TO THE STAFF AND THE POLICE!!!! Also, be careful when going outside during bedtime because anyone can bully you anywhere and anytime. Some of the victims of cyberbullies may have become cyberbullies themselves and so can a person who is drunk or psychotic when they go online. The reason why I don't go outside at all is because you never know what your neighbors are planning to do to you. Stay with your loved ones where it is safe and never go outside during bedtime because bullies will need that kind of opportunity to take control of you and enslave you (if not destroy you). That is why a lot of people would prefer a safe house no bully can know about nor force others to seek/reveal it to them at all because I care for all of you. Be safe and stay safe.

Love you all

Itachi Prower


© to Jacob D. Cleary

Gonna need to complete the whole story mode of Devil May Cry (2013) and get collectibles while doing so. I'm starting on Human difficulty because it's the easiest and will work from there on to harder difficulties. I wanna get Dante maxed out though. As hard as it is to handle having to deal with the fact that the price goes up every time you buy something is a pain and the reason why you will need to do some exploits in the game. It's been a while since I last recorded a gaming video. I may also be looking to get Mortal Kombat X for PS3 because I can't afford a PS4 or an Xbox One yet. I will also need to work on Wolfenstein (2009) and get my FPS skills up on that too and maybe even to a speedrun on Wolfenstein: The New Order for the Xbox 360 (4-disc game) so I have EVERYTHING unlocked in those games because I wanna make as many features available for Furpocalypse as possible. I just hope it will help all furry gamers who are new at these games and wanna explore them and all that.

Love you all

Jacob D. Cleary

I've got a bone scan and neurologist I will need to be ready for because I just can't stand the back pains and/or the pain in my nuts. The pain is gonna be too much to handle without the controversial stuff because it hurts that badly. I intend to get better so I can help you all and do some special works but I will need to work on my gaming skills so I can upload them and maybe do some guides for all the noobs and weak skilled out there so they can have the support they need. I intend to make sure the whole world of artists have something to enjoy. All I wanna do is impress everyone (including fellow contestants) to be something TV actors and actress want in the stories (partially because I wanna get out of poverty) and I just wanna be able to prove I am capable of being the character others both want and need. I'm just afraid because someone will deny autistic folks. I just hope to finally have a chance to be the hard working staff member of a fur con like i used to be and (more importantly) help those furs in need of aid and not ever judge anyone. I am, however, weak because of the pain in my right hip and it is gonna get to the point where I lose my whole right leg and need to smelt it into an iron leg and probably have a strong body. Hope to get better for everyone


Love you all (especially you, Destinii)

Itachi Prower

I am forever grateful God kept the furs safe at Anthrocon. I am also happy our beloved Cupcake Queen is safe and sound and that the tornado did not reach the furs or Anthrocon. No one was hurt <3 I just worry about our beloved sweethearts because they all are most dear to me and mean EVERYTHING to me. I love them all.

Love you all

Itachi Prower

At the end of the fur con while I was walking back to my hotel room, a car sped past me while I was crossing the street. I consider myself lucky because I didn't get hit (the car missed). I must have had good reflexes. The cop was after the person who was probably trying to run me over or something. The person in the car that nearly hit me was running toward the convention area but luckily the cops had that covered (thank god). A couple of police cars sped and stopped before my eyes. All I had to do was remain calm (they are doing their duty after all). They then went out to catch up with the one who was running from the cop as I saw by the con area. I hurried back to my hotel room because I needed to make sure I was safe (just in case more fugitives came out to strike) and I am glad my roommates were safe. As long as all the furs are safe, everything should be alright. I will pray for all of you who are at Anthrocon because the tornado can hurl cars and litter at the hotels and convention center and could easily throw our sweethearts (and their prized possessions) all around the city and could cause them serious injury (if not death) which is why I am going to pray for them with all my heart. I love all those sweethearts.

Love you all,

Itachi Prower

I won't be able to make it because of a kidney problem I may have and I have a bad back. The pain went from the bottom of my spine through my hip down my leg and into my family jewels (in other words, pain in the X-Rated body part) and it won't stop. I have to stay home this year because I won't be able to work. Please note me because I don't want any strict people to know since they are going to take advantage of me by taking control of me. I'm just afraid of normal people because I don't know what they may intend to do with this journal and they'll probably report whatever secret they find. I just can't handle society because I am in VERY rough shape. I hope to get cured of all the agonies so I can come and help you all out and always be willing to do volunteer work for our fur cons.

Love you all,

Itachi Prower

I would prefer to believe it is something for TMI Tuesday but it's a complaint I have to make. My bowels are acting up and I'm not feeling well. I just hope to get well ASAP for all of you because I HATE sickness and I will do anything to escape it so I can help others get better because that's EXACTLY what I intend to do. I wanna cure all illnesses for good and ensure sickness never happens again but they will NOT stay gone forever because (like Cruella says to the author after his ink is spilled all over her) you can't get it done in real life. I am glad I learned how to discern real life from the stories.

The reason why I can't make Anthrocon is because I have a doctor appointment on that Thursday. I do need to make sure I can get enough for next year's convention. I won't make it this year because we're poor and have expenses to deal with. But, I will try to make the trip to Furpocalypse which is the ONLY furry con I can do this year because it's closer to where I live than Anthrocon is. I will do my best to stay safe and not get all worked up until then. I will always be willing to make up for my inability to make the trip to AC. I hope everyone has a happy con.


Love you all

Itachi Prower

I will need room and ride for Furpocalypse

A girl who used to be a boy was abusing me online. The fucking bint has been ignoring my being honest and kind hearted the whole time so (s)he could make lies about me using him/her. The abuse was so heartbreaking. That devil didn't care that I was in pain at all. The abuser's name is Zoey Lillith Astral. Here is the link to her profile.

https://www.facebook.com/profile.ph.....00008920111803

Please let our discussion be in notes because I don't wanna talk about it in an area where others can see.

This is how I feel right now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pv45h3xmZwE