Many/most of my old watchers don't seem to have noticed that I switched accounts. In case you've been wondering what happened to me, I ditched the Skant name and this account years ago.

I have moved to  Sargon

Don't miss all the new art I've been posting!

I'm moving to  sargon

I've posted before that I was thinking about doing this. And I think I actually want to do it. I want to move away from the name Skant.

I want to be known as Sargon.

Why?

Recent events have reminded me that I was with Jace for a lot of years. I think a lot of people only knew me because I was with him. And so they think of me as 'that guy who was with Jace'.

I'm not with Jace anymore. And I'm finding that I should expect less interest from anyone as a result. I feel like Robin on my own, and people are like... where's Batman?

For instance, I believe that a substantial portion of my watchers only watched me because I was with Jace, and they just haven't bothered to unwatch me since I left him. The statistics for every single piece I've posted since then are only a fraction of what they used to be even though my art has been improving.

I only want to have watchers that are actually interested in _me_ and my work. I don't want to be an orphaned sidekick. And a way to do that is to move to this other account and see who actually follows me there.

I'd like to know where I actually stand, you know? I don't want to have a bubble to burst anymore.

And that's not the only reason either. Skant was a character I played. An interface to the outside world because I felt that nobody would accept the real me. I tried so hard to be what anyone wanted me to be because I was desperate to be accepted and not be alone. That's who Skant was. That's who Ral was, too, for that matter.

Sargon was someone I only showed a few people because Sargon is the real me.

And I'm trying to leave that sort of thing behind now. I'm learning how to really be myself.

I think this change may also help me to post more art. Because I really want to establish myself as me. And I want to feel like every watcher I have was actually earned.

I have actually been drawing again these days. More and more. I just haven't been scanning and posting it. It will give me new stuff to post to the Sargon account over the next while.

I want to hire a maid service to handle house cleaning so that I can free up my pet gryphoness' time for more personal services for her master.

I don't know that FA is really the best place to ask about this. But I imagine at least a few of you will have had dealings with maid services before.

I've never worked with such a service before. And I'm trying to find out more about the ins and outs of it all. I've been researching on the web, but it's full of conflicting information. There seems to be a lot of fear mongering and disinformation that goes on with this subject. Presumably perpetuated by companies who hope to make customers afraid of trying any of their competitors. I'm finding it frustratingly difficult to determine what is actually true in this mess of promises and accusations.

I'm looking for any pointers, recommendations, things to watch out for, etc that people can give me. Especially if anyone can give me specific recommendations for cleaning services in the southern part of San Jose, CA.

What are your experiences with maid services?

 jaelyn did this meme, too. So you can check out our relationship from her point of view at:

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1543780/

1. Who eats more?
I do. I've got a dragon sized appetite. I'm a big tall guy. I also eat much more slowly. My gryphoness always has to wait for me to finish my meal long after she's done with hers. She doesn't seem to mind.

2. Who said “I love you” first?
I did.

3. Who is the morning person?
Strangely enough, I am. By comparison anyway. Neither of us are morning people, really. But waking up sleepy feathers is like trying to raise the dead. I guess I wait a long time for her to wake up, and she waits a long time for me to finish eating. :)

4. Who sings better?
She does. "Tweet tweet tweeeet!" She often sings to songs on her iPod, and I enjoy listening to her. :)

5. Who’s older?
I am. By 12.5 years. She sometimes calls me her old man. ;)

6. Who’s smarter?
Depends on the subject, really. I'm an engineer, and I'm very good at it. But I'm also something of a nutty professor. She thinks faster on her feet than I do, and she's much better at juggling day to day life type stuff. My strengths are in solving deeply complicated stuff... things which require deep concentration.

7. Whose temper is worse?
I'm not sure that either of us really has a temper. However, I'm the one that can be growly and get in someone's face when needed.

8. Who does the laundry?
My pet gryphoness does. She handles all of the chores in my lair.

9. Who does the dishes?
Again, my pet gryphoness. She's very devoted to her master.

10. Who sleeps on what side of the bed?
We sleep in separate beds. I'm a rather introverted dragon, and I need my seclusion to sleep. I've never been able to sleep with anyone. I just keep waking up all night.

11. Whose feet are bigger?
Mine are.

12. Whose hair is longer?
Hers is. She has beautiful naturally curly hair. As a dragon, I'm not normally interested in hair at all. But I like running my talons through her hair all the time... and pulling her around by it. :)

13. Who’s better with the computer?
I am. I'm a software engineer. So duh. But her computer skills are not lacking. Whenever she needs my help with something on her computer, it's something genuinely difficult that a normal user wouldn't know.

14. Do you have pets?
I have my pet gryphoness. Duh. Are we paying attention here? :)

15. Who pays the bills?
I pay the bills of the estate. Jaelyn pays for her own personal things like her car, cell phone, etc.

16. Who cooks dinner?
Jaelyn does. And she's a very good cook, too. She didn't have much experience at it to begin with, and she was worried her cooking would be awful. But she turned out to be a natural at it. Her master is very pleased indeed.

17. Who drives when you are together?
I drive whenever I feel like cruising around in my Corvette. When I don't feel like driving, I have her drive me around in her Yaris.

18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
I do.

19. Who’s the most stubborn?
I think we're both capable of being stubborn at times.

20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong?
I think we switch off on that one.

21. Whose family do you see more?
Mine.

22. Who named your pet?
I have a lot of things I call my pet. She's my bottom bird, my dirty birdie, my birdie bitch, feathers, and my cherished pet to name a few.

23. Who kissed who first?
Kissing is a bit of a strange thing to this dragon. It's what you do when you're eating someone. Dragon kisses are bites along the neck. Jaelyn has been training this dragon to enjoy kissing on the lips. Maybe we should make an animated 3D movie about it.

24. Who asked who out?
I'm not exactly sure. I think she hit on me just as much as I hit on her. So I guess it just seemed like a good idea. ;)

25. What did you do on your first date?
Lots and lots of delicious, delicious sex.

26. Who’s more sensitive?
That's a tough one. We're both empathic.

27. Who’s taller?
I am. 6'2".

28. Who has more friends?
I really don't know. We both have quite a few.

29. Who has more siblings?
She does.

30. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
She wears my collar. And I take her out for walks on a leash in RL. :)

My pet gryphoness bought me a new icon from  synchra

I'm all growly! GRAR!!!

Thanks Jaelyn! :)

Note: You may need to Ctrl-F5 to see it on your browser.

I finally got around to taking pictures of these from our sketchbooks. Caribou did an awesome job portraying us!

Jaelyn posted the pictures on her account.

Full on porn action of master and pet! You eyeballs will burn and hair will grow on your palms, sinners!

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4062058

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4062077

I got Rocket Knight off the PSN for my PS3. This is totally a game for furries! It is well done. It has a lot of awesome style to it. And it's basically all furry animals with rocket packs and stuff.

The main character is an opossum who is _fucking cute and sexy!_ And mind you, this is coming from someone who usually isn't much interested in anything with neither scales nor feathers. The bad guys are a bunch of anthro wolves.

It's a 3D'ized side scroller. And it has a good range of difficulty... I tried it on hard, and it really was (which is unusual these days).

Every furry should check out this game! :) There's a free demo on the PSN which includes the first couple of levels. The full game is only $15.

There seems to be some controversy going on about the subject of critique lately. And some pretty extreme attitudes about it that would seem to further the chasm between artists and fans.

The idea being put forth is that artists _must_ accept any and all criticism of what they post on FA. This seems to come along with a sub-message that artists who don't are egotistical on their high horses, and FA has been all about worshiping them rather than giving honest feedback. So there seems to be the idea that any artist who gets upset by commentary on their work needs to be cut down and brought to earth somehow.

I really can't agree with any of that. And here are some reasons why:

1) There's an assumption being made that critique is valuable and necessary to the development of an artist's skill. While good critique can be an effective tool to this purpose, development of artistic skill actually comes primarily from personal practice and study of the field. The development of an artist's technical skill is not actually dependent upon FA comments.

2) Often times, artists need encouragement more than they need technical critique. While it seems popular to propagate the notion that artists are egotistical, in fact the reverse is usually true. Most artists struggle to feel confidence in their work. Art flows much more easily and better when you're feeling confident in your skill. And lack of confidence can lead to giving up art entirely.

3) The difference between critique and insult can be a fine line indeed. Especially if someone is intentionally trying to straddle that line. Even well intentioned criticism can cause more harm than good. It's not as simple as saying all critique should be blindly accepted.

4) What a lot of people want to call critique really isn't. Most of the 'critique' on FA is really just demands to draw whatever subject or style the commenter wants.


I think it needs to be up to the artist whether they want critique and who they want it from.

For myself, I was initially afraid to post my work on FA. I feared I would be ripped to shreds with criticism. I was pleased to receive a lot of encouragement instead. Frankly, it kept me from giving up on art and propelled me to advance my talents.

If I had a ton of 'critique' rammed down my throat, I would surely have thrown my pen in the trash and left.

Does this make me egotistical somehow? I don't think so. I'm actually very aware of the weaknesses in my artwork. I don't really need them to be pointed out by someone else. Indeed, I am overly aware of my weaknesses... probably more so than they're really that bad.

I don't want to say that I never want any critique, but... be gentle, okay? And I certainly don't want anyone ever telling me work is good when they don't actually think so. Please don't ever shine me on.

Anyway, I think people need to calm down about this critique thing. It's importance is really being overblown.

I think it's a good idea for artists who want public critique to openly say so. And I think artists who don't shouldn't be bashed for that choice. It's all good, folks.

On the 19th, it will be the one year anniversary of the day I officially took ownership of my pet  jaelyn

I love and cherish my gryphoness.

I'm going to be taking her on a trip for a couple of days. Should be a lot of fun.

My gryphoness  jaelyn had  zyleeth make me a nom icon.

...

...

FEAR ME!!! I EAT YOUR HEAD!!!

I've been totally hooked on MAG. And my gryphoness has been enjoying watching me play it. So much so that she became curious about trying it herself. She's said that she's no good at that kind of game, but it looks like so much fun when I play it.

So I handed her the controller. She ran through the training tutorial, and then from there... well... it's an online only game... and the _smallest_ battles are 64 players... most of whom are seasoned hard core FPS nerds. So I was telling her... okay... you're going to get killed a lot. And that's true for anyone starting out in online FPS's... especially with no prior FPS experience at all. There's no easy setting to learn on first. So you will be doing great if you get one kill out of the entire round.

On only her second round, she already had a 1.5 K/D ratio. By her fifth round, she'd pulled a 4.0 K/D and unlocked a trophy for it. Geezus!

Apparently a gryphoness with a sniper rifle is a frightening thing.

She was positively giddy as she popped off mammal heads.

So, I went out the next day and bought a second HD TV to put in the game room. Setup a second PS3. She built the stand. And off we went playing MAG together.

The game really supports playing with your friends well. I remember the old Battlefield 2 days when it was a struggle to get everyone on the same server and same team and all that. In MAG, it just knows what you're going to want to do and does it for you automagically. Even automatically puts you in the same squad together with your friends and everything. No fuss. This game was clearly made by people who seriously understand the dynamics of friends and multiplayer.

So yeah... we played late into the night with a dragon and a gryphoness fighting side by side. It was so romantic.

If other people want to get in on this action, we could start getting a squad going.

Edit: I keep forgetting to mention that I'm a Raven player.

Wow! I love this game!

MAG is a tactical shooter for the PS3 which features 256 player battles. And it really pulls it off, too.

A lot of things in this game work differently than any other FPS I've played. Like... when I used to play Battlefield 2 a long time ago, they had up to 64 players... but 64 players was madness and no fun. 256 you would think would just be clusterfuck chaos. But it's not. MAG is all about making that actually work.

It automatically puts players into unit organizations, promotes a command structure, queues up players into servers automatically so you always play in full games, and just picks up all the little details necessary to make a large battle truly playable.

As usual, the reviewers don't get it. They give this game only an 8. Which seems to be the best a multiplayer only game can receive. Is it me, or do reviewers have no friends and just don't get multiplayer games? MAG is all about teamwork and strongly discourages lone wolfing, so I'm surprised your typical asocial reviewer would even score it as high as an 8. They're probably mystified as to what are these different command voice channels even for?

Anyway... I'm wondering if there are furry MAG players out there. Maybe we can get a squad going or something.

Edit: I'm in Raven, btw.

I brought her back home a couple of hours ago.

From this point, it's handled as just a very bad flu. She's still going to be sick for a while. But she just needs bed rest.

She's much more comfortable at home. Just spent the last two hours holding her in bed while she slept.

I think this will probably be my last update about it. She's not in the hospital anymore, and she's doing pretty well at this point. Now it's just kinda normal sick rather than scary sick. She should be completely well again in a few days or so.

Thanks to everyone who has supported us through this time.

Earlier in the day, Jaelyn was running a fever again. But later she was doing much better... the best I've seen her yet since she's been sick. She's eating again... not a whole lot. But she actually got hungry for the first time since this began.

She's on prescription pain killers now (like Vicodin) rather than the 4 times stronger than Morphine stuff she was on earlier.

The doctor says the only reason they're holding her in the hospital now is to wait for the results of the long test to verify that it's viral meningitis (non-life threatening) and not bacterial meningitis (scary potatoes).

So... the short test for meningitis takes 30 minutes. The long test takes 3 days.

Without treatment, bacterial meningitis will kill in 2 days. Interesting math.

So they're actually rather sure that she doesn't have the bacterial version because she doesn't exhibit its symptoms. For instance, she is not dead.

They expect to release her tomorrow morning when they get the results of the long test.

By the way, each day I've printed out the comments to these journals and read them to her. It's how I start each visit, and it's really helped her feel better. Thank you everyone.

Jaelyn hasn't been running a fever anymore today. And she was able to eat and keep down a small amount of food. I also brought her a large jamba juice, and she actually found it very appetizing. She had half of it... which I think is the most nutrition she'd had in 2-3 days.

I think the best indicator that she's feeling better is she started turning things I said into dirty comments.

She's still having head pain, and she hasn't been released from the hospital yet. The doctor said maybe tomorrow (Thursday).

After passing out for some hours after being up all night, I got up, got some food, and went back to the hospital.

Jaelyn is in a more comfortable room now in the isolation ward rather than the ER. She was in noticeably better condition than the traumas of the day before. She's still very sick though. She hasn't been able to keep down anything she's eaten, and she's on heavy painkillers.

I printed out the well wishes from the comments on the previous journal and read them to her as she drifted in and out. She was touched, and they raised her spirits. Thank you all.

They're expecting to release her tomorrow to do the rest of her recovery at home.

Update: They've decided to hold her an additional day. So hopefully she'll be out on Thursday. She still hasn't been able to keep down any food.

Jaelyn has been in a lot of head pain since yesterday. Or... I guess it's the day before now. Sunday. Been in the hospital with her for the last I don't know how many hours.

They did a CT scan. And they did a lumbar puncture. Where they draw fluid from her spinal cord. It was a very traumatic procedure. She was still in pain through multiple doses of morphine.

She was diagnosed with viral meningitis (infection of the brain) and admitted to the hospital.

The good news is that it's the milder version of meningitis. The doctor says she should recover in a week or so. But she's still going to be in pain in the meantime.

Please send your good will toward my birdie for a speedy recovery.

I've had this little problem for a very long time.

I'm not too sure what name to call myself.

Skant: I'm most widely known by this name. But Skant was intended to be a temporary name. Way back when I first got onto Furrymuck, I had been spending some time on MUDs. And on a MUD you can get permanently killed very easily by not having any idea what you are doing. So don't make your favorite character first. Well, I figured the same would be true for mucks. You couldn't be killed, but I figured I'd start with a temporary character just to try it out and have some idea what I was doing before I made my 'real' character.

So that temporary character was Skant. A small chameleon hermaphrodite Dracovarian (an alien species which resembles dragons). And, unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, she ended up catching on and becoming very well known.

I actually feel a bit embarrassed whenever I say the name Skant. And I think it just doesn't sound like a very good name. Especially because it gets associated with close words like 'scant', 'scat', and 'skank'.

Plus the character Skant used female pronouns in referencing herself. And I'm male in RL, and it feels weird to me when people say 'That guy over there is Skant.'

Ral Darkes: I'm also known by this name. This is who I am on SecondLife. I own club Dragon Spire and gained a good bit of notoriety that way (some might say infamy).

Ral originally appeared in a very dirty story I wrote years ago. He was an anthro red dragon, and a very rough and menacing sort. He turned into a black anthro dragon on SL. Initially, I was trying to keep his ruthless character a bit, but he's really a personal furry.

I do internet radio shows as him with a growly voice.

Sargon: Sargon is the character I play on Tapestries. A big feral blue dragon with black stripe and diamond patterns. He's evil and cruel. And always plotting something. Very few people know me as Sargon.

Sargon is a representation of my true form. The dragon spirit inside this human body. I do not actually know what my name as a dragon really is. Sargon was meant to be a role playing version of my real dragon self with the serial numbers filed off.


So here's my problem... I've listed these names in order of how well known they are. And it is exactly backwards in terms of how much they each represent me.

If I could do it all over, I would use Sargon. That big blue dragon in my art gallery is not Skant. But people think Skant is his name because that's the name I've used forever and the name on this FA account.

It's been a long time since I played Skant. I really don't play that character anymore. So that name is really a hold over from the past.

I do still play Ral Darkes... whenever I can feel enough courage to login to SL anymore. (Seems like each time I decide to show up again, I get lectured, beaten up, drama'fested, chewed up, and spit back out)

Sargon is me. But I could count the number of people that know me as Sargon on my pink monkey fingers.

What if I try to switch over to Sargon?

FA doesn't let you change account names. So that would be shutting down this account and moving to a new one. Of course, someone else already has an account named Sargon on FA. So that wouldn't even work. And in case I was already concerned about my stats being so low, yeah... moving to a new account is certainly a good way to flatline it all.

So what should I do?

I just made the mistake of wandering around FA looking at other artists statistics compared to my own. Yeah. I really shouldn't do that. I feel pretty disheartened at the moment.

I've been generally thinking of my own artwork more positively lately. I kinda get it into my head that my art may be somewhere in the same league as other artists. Then I go look at my stats compared to theirs, and... not even close.

My recent submissions seem to be getting much less now. So much so that I thought maybe there might have been some technical difficulty with FA or something so that people didn't see them. But apparently not. It probably has more to do with not being affiliated with Jace anymore.

I'd like to think of myself as some sort of popular dragon artist that might even be considered up there with other popular dragons artists. But that seems to be a stretch. I'm always afraid of overestimating myself. And it seems like I must be doing that here. When people list off their favorite dragon artists, I'm not in those lists.

So what am I doing wrong? Is my artwork just not as good as I might imagine? Or is the difference something else?

How to play:
- Go here to find a good copy/paste format [if you want].
- Write yes or no and an explanation under each achievement [if you want].
- Make Each Answer 10 points if you did/didn't make it 0 and if you kind of did make it 2.
- Add up your score.
- Post your score total.

"Waited In Line For Blotch Porn"
Parameters: Go/went to a furry convention.
Score: 10
Completed?: I've been going since before there were furry conventions, actually. Furry used to be a part of Baycon and Silicon way back when (furry fit more or less under the sci fi umbrella). They hated on us, so we eventually left and had our own cons instead. The exodus of those darned hated furries from those cons left them bereft without enough membership anymore. Baycon eventually found a different audience and seems to have recovered.

"Rug Burn"
Parameters: Do/did the business, with one or more partners in a fursuit.
Score: 0
Completed?: No. Apparently I'm not actually a furry since furry is only about fursuiting and nothing else, right? I saw it in the news.

"It's Like A Miniature Convention!"
Parameters: Go/went to a furmeet.
Score: 10
Completed?: Been to various of these things.

"FURtune 500"
Parameters: Have over 10,000 views.
Score: 10
Completed?: 25,000+ according to unreliable FA statistics. Wait... does that mean I'm a real artist now?

"High Roller"
Parameters: Have your character drawn by an artist that has over 100,000 views.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes.

"Friends In High Places"
Parameters: Have gift art of your character from an artist.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes.

"Different Strokes"
Parameters: Own/owned/used an animal-molded, or furry-oriented, sexual toy.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes, for use on others.

"So, Yeah"
Parameters: Have more furry friends than non-furry friends in real life.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. Funny, I tend to think of myself as not having all that many friends. But when I sit and think about it, I realize I've actually got quite a few, both furry and nonfurry. But most of them are furry, yes.

"Stalker"
Parameters: Be friends with an artist.
Score: 10
Completed?: Does that include masturbation? Because up there it says I'm an official artist now. Oh wait.. nevermind... I know another artist or two as well.

"Connected"
Parameters: Have a total combined buddy count [on AIM, MSN, Skype or etc.] of 200 or more.
Score: 0
Completed?: Not even close. I am far too recluse for that.

"Just For The Art"
Parameters: Draw anthropomorphic art.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes.

"Dramatic"
Parameters: Have a LiveJournal, Facebook, FurAffinity, DeviantArt, and a Twitter account.
Score: 0
Completed?: No. Drama is scareh. Wait... how is being a drama queen some sort of 'achievement' anyway?

"Get Over It"
Parameters: Have/had a spouse/partner/significant other/mate/whatever, in real life, that is a furry.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. Haven't had anything but, actually.

"Vanilla"
Parameters: Have nonsexual art of your character.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. Somewhere.

"O MURR"
Parameters: Use/used the word 'yiff', 'scritch', or 'paw' when talking to a non-furry friend in real life.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. I've used scritch. Might have used paw at some point. I never use the term 'yiff' under any circumstances. It was originally a derogatory term made up to make fun of furry airheads (especially foxes) who lacked brains but wanted sex. They never did get it. Instead the term was adopted by the very people it was meant to insult without any understanding that it was not actually meant to be friendly. And now it's become a mainstay of furry vernacular.

"And All I Got..."
Parameters: Own a distinctly 'furry' t-shirt [something made by furries and/or for furries].
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. Lots of them. Much of my wardrobe consists of shirts (furry and otherwise) that have been given to me by various friends, actually.

"I'm Not Even Trying"
Parameters: Have some form of furry porn on your desktop [whether as wallpaper or a file].
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. Always. Usually a dragon with hind paws up in the air, either male or female.

"UNLESS IT'S A FARM!"
Parameters: Play/played Team Fortress 2 on a furry server.
Score: 0
Completed?: No. I never got into Team Fortress 2.

"Such A Cock"
Parameters: Listen/listened to a 2 the Ranting Gryphon rant.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. I even used to be his friend once upon a time... back before he became famous. I don't think he remembers who I am anymore.

"Friends With Benefits"
Parameters: Commissioned/commission artwork of a friend's character.
Score: 10
Completed? Yes.

"Anti-Uppity"
Parameters: Have sexual artwork of your character.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. Have you seen my gallery? ;)

"Don't Knock It 'Til You Try It"
Parameters: Roleplay/roleplayed your character over a messenger service/in a game of some sort.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. I do lots of that. Mostly on mucks and SL. Heh... though one time I even played a scene over LittleBigPlanet using the text balloons... just to say I did. Just for the wrongness of it. ;)

"NO FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY!"
Parameters: Post/posted on 4chan or SomethingAwful.com
Score: 0
Completed?: No. Shouldn't I get points for _not_ doing this?

"Furries Ruin Everything"
Parameters: Post/posted a furry image on 4chan.
Score: 0
Completed?: No.

"You're Doing It Wrong"
Parameters: Post/posted on fchan or TGFB [http://dammitfreehaven.com/].
Score: 0
Completed?: No.

"The Greater Good"
Parameters: Post/posted an image on e621.net.
Score: 0
Completed?: No.

"O.. murr"
Parameters: Use/used the word 'yiff', 'scritch', or 'paw' when talking to a furry friend in real life.
Score: 10
Completed?: Scritch and paw, yes. Pretty commonly actually.

"How Did That Get There?"
Parameters: Have a folder dedicated to furry porn.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. Are you kidding? I have a whole hoard of folders dedicated to furry porn.

"THIS IS THE REAL ME! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"
Parameters: Commission art of your character.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes.

"SRS BSNS"
Parameters: Tell/told a parent/friend that you are a furry.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. I tell my friends that. I tend to avoid it with my family.

"Ding, DONG"
Parameters: Have a male character.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes.

"Tits or GTFO"
Parameters: Have a female character.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. A few people know who.

"It's A Trap!"
Parameters: Have a herm/shemale/transgendered/etc. character.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. Skant, the character, is actually a hermaphrodite. However, I've long since stopped playing her. But people know _me_ as Skant now. Which isn't actually correct, but I seem to be stuck with it.

"Dime A Dozen"
Parameters: Did/do another furry meme.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes.

"You're It!"
Parameters: Tag at least 1 person after doing this meme.
Score: 10
Completed?: Yes. I'll tag my pet,  Jaelyn


My score is 270. What do I win?

I had a great time at FC this year!

I had been kinda worried about it. Everything has changed in my life, and I knew that was going to make going to the con a very different experience. My usual patterns weren't going to be available. And I really wasn't sure what to do now.

Well, for the first couple of days, I stumbled. The new hotel is very oppressively noisy. Unlike the old hotel, the new one has no quiet pockets at all. I tried all day to find anywhere to get away from the cacophony with no success. The place is simply designed for 100% hustle and bustle as if the designer could see no reason why anyone would ever want a quiet moment away from the crowd under any circumstance.

The place certainly isn't designed for introverts!

I found that I was doing pretty good at first. But by the end of the day, the crowd and noise got to me, and I found myself stunned and just blanking out.

Friday worked out a bit better, but I still fell down later in the day.

However, by Saturday, I'd fairly figured out how to approach the con without getting crushed.

It's been very helpful to me to learn more about my introversion and understand how and why I'm affected this way. My need for quiet times alone is not something I can ignore... I blank out, freak out, and crash if I don't get it. I realize now that I was taking these sorts of breaks and things before, but not consciously aware that I was doing it or feeling guilty about doing it.

Anyway, a big theme for me has been reconnecting. With the recent restructuring of my life, I've felt like I've lost whatever ties I had to most of the furries I know. Heck, I wondered how many of them would even want anything to do with me anymore. I'd hoped FC would be good for rebuilding connections anew... and more directly this time. Maybe these people really would be interested in knowing me for me, and not just who I was with.

The con was rather successful for that. I certainly didn't get the chance to hang out with all the people I really wanted to. Or to hang out with them as much as I wanted to.

I got to spend a lot of time with  Skadjer. And  Losian and  WindDragon. I got the chance to get to know those latter two a lot better. Skadjer and I are very close friends already.

I didn't get to spend nearly as much time with  Royelle as I wanted. I was a bit bummed actually. But I did get to have some really good times there.

Royelle introduced me to  Sarmanikan. I liked Sarmy, but didn't end up getting to hang out much. I kinda worry Sarmy may think I wasn't as interested as I was. But anyway, Royelle, Sarmy, and crew seemed to be doing their own stuff I just wasn't much a part of. So I kinda gave up after a while.

And  Raith_dw,  Athus, and  Narse... I only barely got to see. Which sucked! I totally wanted to hang out with them more again this year. Oh well.

Oh! And I got to meet  Ember_the_dragon finally! We'd done so much stuff together online, yet I'd never met the boy till now. I got a real life emberhug. I am complete and one with the universe now.

I connected with  Skandranon again at the end of the con, which made me feel better. A misunderstanding the first day had me thinking he had no interest in talking to me anymore.

I could go on listing people I guess. But I've droned on long enough.

In the end, I really had a great time. And I really enjoyed doing the con with my wonderful gryphoness,  Jaelyn. It was great tugging her around on a leash and showing her off. :)

I had to keep remembering to introduce her to people! I'm so used to being the obscure one myself. She had to keep tugging on my jacket to remind me to tell people who she was. My life is so different now. Much to get used to. But... I think I can get very used to introducing my pet gryphoness with pride.

I'm nearly done with the three new paintings I'll be showing at this year's ADP.

I suppose there's a bit of a dragon and gryphon theme to my submissions this time. I wonder why that is? Oh right. Probably because I own a gryphoness these days. ;)

Anyway, all three of my paintings haven't been seen before. So that will make them extra fun to show at the panel. Of course they're all my usual dirty, raunchy, scaly work. One of them is a bit extra naughty, actually. I'm kinda wondering if the audience will like it or be revolted by it.

I suppose I continue to experiment with which of my works I can actually show you folks without getting tarred and feathered. There's a bunch of stuff I don't expect to ever post.

But don't worry. I'll eventually post anything I show at the panel here. I actually think it's kinda mean to show things at the panel and never post them later.

The Further Confusion website lists the Adult Dragon Panel as 10pm on Saturday. So all you dragon lovers take note.

See you there!

I had a big revelation yesterday.

I'm an introvert.

Okay. I know that doesn't seem like it should be a revelation, but it is. Jaelyn pointed me at an article about it. And it really made a bunch of things snap into place for me.

It's not that I'm surprised that I'm an introvert. I knew that, really. What I didn't understand is what being an introvert really means.

Like many people, I've seen shyness and introversion as being the same thing. They are not. Shyness is being anxious and frightened about social situations. A shy person wants to interact with other people, but is unable to do so out of fear. An introvert, on the other hand, can enjoy interacting with other people, but finds it tiring to do so.

I did also suffer from shyness before. And I feel I have largely overcome that. I thought that my introverted behaviors would also cease when I got over it, but they did not. I have felt like a failure for it. I've felt like I should be able to change. In fact, I've spent most of my life trying to change myself into an extrovert.

But being an introvert is like being gay or left handed. It's not a choice. It's not an aberration. It's not a disease. It's not something that needs to be cured. It's an orientation. And it's just as healthy as being extroverted.

But you wouldn't think so by the way introverts tend to be treated.

The book of human etiquette was written by extroverts. And introverted behaviors tend to be seen as rude and abnormal. Extroverts tend to be mystified by introverts much the same way heterosexuals tend to be mystified by homosexuals. It's generally felt that an introverted person 'just needs to get out more, and they'll get over it'. And that works about as well as sending a gay kid to one of those camps to 'straighten him out'.

It's really empowering to me right now to realize this. Because I've felt so bad about the way that I am so much of my life. I've tried so hard... so uselessly... to change into what I'm 'supposed to be'.

Being an introvert is not the same as being anti-social. It doesn't mean you have bad social skills. It doesn't mean you hate being around other people. It doesn't mean anything bad at all. It's just different.

The big crux of it is that extroverted people are energized by spending time with other people and tend to wilt or fade when alone. Whereas introverted people are energized by spending time alone, and tend to get exhausted if they have too much time with other people.

Introverted people can have very good social skills and be very likable. It's not about that.

It's about whether you draw your energy from within or from outside yourself. Like being warm blooded or cold blooded. It's kindof an especially good analogy because most people think of being warm blooded as more generally useful and adaptable. But, in fact, cold blooded critters are capable of many feats and living in many environments that warm blooded critters can't handle. And vice versa. Which is better depends on the task at hand.

Extroverts tend to struggle with tasks and occupations that introverts handle readily. And vice versa.

I guess in short... right now I'm feeling like... it's okay to be me.

It's a good feeling.

Where are you staying?
At home. I don't normally buy a room for FC since I live close enough to drive back and forth each day.

Who will you be with?
My pet gryphon,  jaelyn and probably a bunch of dragons like Skadjer and Royelle.

Do you do trades?
I'll usually draw for anyone I like that puts a sketchbook in front of my snout. Doesn't need to be an art trade. (Note that I will not normally draw on random sheets of paper or whatever. I draw in proper sketchbooks. The idea is that I want whatever I draw to continue to exist and float around the conventions so people actually get to see it)

What suits will you have?
Not everyone is a fursuiter. In fact, most furries do not have or want a fursuit. Fursuiters are cool and all, but it does bug me a bit when they think they represent the entire fandom rather than a fraction of it.

What is your gender?
Male.

How old are you?
In dragon years? Less than 1.

Can I touch you?
Generally, yes.

Can I talk to you?
Yes, please. Especially if you like dragons, corvettes, or my penis.

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
Sure. As long as they're noncarbonated and nonalcholic. And they should taste good, too.

Can I give you lots of money?
You can if you really want, but I probably make a lot more money than you do.

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
I'm a rather snuggly dragon. I accept hugs readily even from strangers so long as they are not freaky or unwashed. Note: If I refuse to hug you, you are probably freaky or unwashed. FYI.

How tall are you?
6'2"

You look pissed off out of suit can I come up to you?
At 6'2", most people wouldn't approach me when I look pissed off. I'm told that I look evil in general, much worse when I'm angry. And please stop assuming I own a fursuit.

Are you nice?
When I'm not eating babies, yes. Please don't tell anyone. I have a reputation for evil to uphold.

Are you cliquey?
I don't think so.

Can I stalk you?
I like weird people. I do not like freaky people. Please don't be freaky.

How long are you going?
The entire time. Thursday through Monday.

Do you have an artist table?
No. I don't sell my artwork.

Do you like parties?
Yes. Yes, I do. I'm not much for gatherings where people are just there to get drunk. But I very much enjoy drawing, talking, and cuddling with friends at parties.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
You should kneel before me and kiss my toes, of course. Duh.

Jace moved out today. I broke up with him about 3 weeks ago.

We were together for 17 years. And it was very hard to send him away.

I really wish it could have been different.

I'm hoping to still be able to have a relationship with him. It seemed like our relationship worked much better before we moved in together. And I hope to go back to that.

I wish him well at his new home.