I am trying this again, I got a name I like. WELL SORTA. Mo is too short for fa so i had to go with Mo- but thats ok. Anyways! Watch me again if you please! Or don't. Imma try not to take it too seriously cause then i get overwhelmed with it and its like uhoh and art breakdown so imma just stick to being my goofy weird self...so be warned...things could get real scary over at  Mo- ....real scary.

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http://oi51.tinypic.com/zwj3p1.jpg -Examples

These are open but I am not going to make a big deal about it, just get a a hold of me if your interested. :)

Will be switching fa names soon and hopefully maybe uploading my sheeeety art again. ;)


Trades - Peeps be asking about this so here. Yes I do trades, no you shouldn't be scared to ask, but if I say no, its probably cause I have too much on my plate, eh?

Done. Too much work to keep track of kthnx. If you have had your eye on something whisper me about it but I am not goign to actively keep this going

not active

Yes I am open!
DOING COLLABS WITH  deadlyhabitual as well!
Specials on Collab ports with her!
And Special on Busts by me!
You can send a note here if your interested!

Check out http://oi56.tinypic.com/261g84h.jpg
Cause I am too lazy to rewrite the info! XD

Anyone feel like doing a quick sorta trade today? Please be at least matching to my skill level? :D iluall

I'm not coming back to this account I don't think. Thanks.

I want 2 munch ur rug ;)

OMG. So I know a few journals ago I said I was on track. I was not. I lied. Tell you the truth my style has been bugging me, so lately I've been studying to add a more cartoon/Disney flare to it, cause really that's the whole reason I ever started drawing. Disney! Frankly I love how some of the practice stuff I've been doing has turned out but getting sick of repeating my chars and need some fresh different stuff. So gimme your chars! No guarantee I will pick you, its not a first come first serve basis, its a what ends up inspiring me basis, so if you don't end up getting art out of it don't have a bitchfit cause I told you so. Why I don't do free art is because people have gotten all pissy at me cause I "promised" supposedly when I never have, so I am going to give it another try cause I actually do enjoy making someone's day, or at least trying to. ;)

I get out now before he hurts me, and it still hurts.....whats the point of that?

I've started to get back on track with my art. Whoopie.
I need to make some money cause there is an impulse item I wish to buy!
Anyways would anyone be interested? Probably won't open for a couple days...but I might just do a really open one, and discuss prices and what you want with you instead of giving you a list of what you can get, you can get anything for a price that is comfortable with you?

Or! Should I offer things like headshots for a special price or just do surprise commissions again or something? What seems easier? I know I'd rather discuss...could get more bang for your buck that way and also could end up with more then just something cut off at the waist..or the bust or whatever, we can cut it off wherever you desire! XD

I'm tired....obviously.

I WANT TO ROLEPLAY SO BAD RIGHT NOW! WHY IS THERE NEVER ANYONE ON WHEN I WANT TO?!!

How do most boys iknow live in their own filth and smell? I wonder sometimes!

poof.

i gotta stop using itouch to write long messages...i sound touched.

I dunno. I have not felt like drawing or doing shit all recently. My cold is finally clearing in my chest, I still sound like a car trying to turn over but I don't feel so dragged down by it and tired. THOUGH guess who came back!? My side pain, its been around just not entirely at the forefront of my thoughts I guess, and now that the cold is done my body is pay attention to it again. I hate it.
Least I go see a new specialist tomorrow, hopefully he can take us somewhere...its my birthday so maybe whatever fates are working on this will give me a present for my birthday and this will be the last doctor I have to see.

I dunno. I know I have some commissions, but if you can contact me about it that'd be great, we can talk about options. I am thinking its probably easier just to cancel all I have for now and reopen when I am feeling more into it. I had thought I was, but then this damn cold and the holidays and now Its just a process of getting back on the horse and drawing again but I don't want to yet. :P

we demand a sacrifice

Had a headcold after christmas thats now worked its way into my chest, so i've just been tired and grumpy and not wanting to do much. sorry peeps.

That is all. :)

I've been considering starting a blog, mostly for myself just to vent to somewhere the thoughts going on in my head. I am not an articulate person when it comes to talking to anyone face to face, I freeze up and I forget what I want to say, my friend describes me as cheap internet, it takes me forever to load anything and sometimes the connection just drops. XD It's so true. I also just have this thing against airing my dirty laundry as it were, I have a lot of opinions, as does everyone, but I always have felt like mine don't matter, or people are going to think I am just whining or bitching, or wrong, and the idea of that scares me a lot. Its why I stay away from commenting even on art or other peoples journals on here, cause I just feel like no one is going to care what I have to say. But yeah, onto why I am considering the blog. I think everything I mentioned above as to why I don't is a hindrance to me going forward with the life my severe depression has pretty much put on hold, and I think in speaking my mind and just what is really going on in there to somewhere, even if no one would read it might just lift some weight off my shoulders. Truly though, I'd love if it was helpful to even just one person. I've been going through the battle with depression for over 11 years now, and I had defiant signs of it before then but was too young to really understand, its been 11 years of it being medically real to me, and to tell you the truth, I've only recently in the past few years actually started coming to terms with it and seeing it for what it is, and being able to tell people, I suffer from Depression and its not something I should be ashamed of or feel like I am overdoing the disease, making it out for more then it is, like most people believe. I just found, recently, cognitive therapy I have been the most receptive to. Though the booklets are a little cheesy, even just getting one sentence from a workbook that sticks with me is a wonderful feeling. Though, I still doubt myself, cause even writing this was hard, and then I'm going to sit here and stare at the go button, pondering if I actually should post it cause my mind is going to the worst case scenario as it always always does. I wish someone could just install an off switch at the back of my head, so I can take a break from my cognitive brain for awhile.

GAH. I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO DRAW LATELY! I keep working on commissions and trades I owe and just get stuck. Thinking I gotta take a night off and work on stuff for myself..just draw for the hell of drawing maybe. I dunno. This is a bad feeling, I want to draw but nothing turns out! ITS AWFUL

So this morning I had an appointment with one of the specialists my GP referred me to. I've seen her before, in emerg, she preformed my gastroscopy and had tossed it off as just being my inflamed duodenum. She was also the one who didn't bother reading my chart and what I was allergic to, gave me penicillian for H.Pylori..then had me and the pharmacy calling for two weeks saying she has to change it but she like ignored the calls or some such. She also ignored my doctors request to see me in the OR in Oct, and when in the appointment seems to have forgotten she was the one that booked me for a CT Scan. So I can't say I went to the appointment feeling extremely good about it, but I went hoping that maybe now after almost four months of severe pain she'd maybe see something. Instead I get lectured about my depression. Now I've had depression since I was 13, and if oyu have depression or know someone with it, you know it will always be a passenger in your life. I can't say I had an easy time with it, it surfaced after I had to watch my dad die painfully of Liver Cancer, and I am prone to it with ALOT of family history. Anyways, I know where I stand with my Depression, I know by now how it effects me physically and this just really doesn't seem to be that. Let alone my GP has known me since I was a toddler, and has been their through it all, he wouldn't go through the trouble of referring me if it was just a depression thing, not to mention my psychiatrist I've been seeing knows I am in pain. Oh thats the kicker, the Surgeon I saw today wanted to call my shrink, like I needed a reference. I cried...when she was asking all this, I started crying, cause I knew what was coming and I already felt like she was treating me like some crazy depressed person making it all up for attention. When I started crying she gave me the holier then thou look and was like, "Oh it doesn't look like your depression is any better does it?" Of course fucking not! I've been in pain for nearly 4 months! And when I said that she got into how your brain and body are connected and just saying how she was going to call my psychiatrist and I should be more active. By now I was balling....I had to sit in her office and try to calm myself down, and her receptionist brought me the stuff for a colonscopy and I left. Soon as I left I couldn't stop myself from crying, I had never felt that low with myself in awhile...no one knows how hard it is to have that attached to you, depression. And to be in pain and to have no one take it seriously because of that, when I am already struggling with everyday life is just heart wrenching. I tried to get a hold of my mom but she was working so I ended up calling my doctors office which was nearby, tried to hold myself together but started balling again. Receptionist told me just to come in, so I did and she sat me in the backroom to wait for my doctor. When he came in I told him the story, and you could tell he wasn't pleased, but he can't really bad mouth a college. He said she crossed a line, that her job was surgery not psychiatry and she should not have brought that up and just done her job. That he felt she hadn't taken me seriously since day one but he had to try, and not to worry about having to do the colonoscopy with her and the other specialist he referred me to was better at it anyways and just to wait for him. Made me feel a little better, but I have to say she really hurt my feelings....I know my psychiatrist when she calls will stick up for me, after who knows how many shrinks I've been to this one is great, and she knows I've been in pain and she knows the pain is not connected to my depression, cause truly Its been one step forward then two giant steps back for this pain.

Ugh, just stressful. I went out and bought myself a new pair of Skullcandy headphones to make myself feel better...they are purple.

Test's came back fine. No answers still. He referred me already to get the ball rolling on finding answers, though to me it seems like they all just want to cast it off as IBS. I'm not in a happy place, its really dark...

That the geico commercial about woodchucks chucking wood makes me gut laugh everytime?