Ugh I had that xray today. Awful awful stuff. Not as bad as I thought it would be, but awful all the while. I went into one xray office, where the table moves, had to take these fizzy pills that are like pop rocks, immediately makes you feel like you just drank a bunch of pop way to fast and have to burp, but you arn't allowed. Then she hands me this stuff that is like the consistency of wall paper paste, which you gotta mouthful, stand still, mouthful stand still, then drink it all. And there is quite a bit let me tell you. Then you get to roll around on a moving table like a hyper kid to coat your stomach, more xray. Then they send you out to drink the barium, which isn't as thick, its kinda like melted ice cream in texture, but tastes like melted face paint. There is also some sort of sweetner in it as if that would make it taste any better. XD Then you have to wait..then a xray on your stomach where the techs feel up your hips, which is just weird to me, then another one a lil while later, then you get another one on your back where the doctor comes in and jams his hand into your crotch while he's using a paddle thing to move around your intestines while xraying. I couldn't of imagined having a penis at that point how many times that mans wrist hit my hoohoo, not to mention when he was at the tender spot of my stomach! GAH. Then it was all over, took about 3 hours or so, supposedly it can take longer, all depends on how fast your small-intestine moves things, my small intestine is fast yo. Anyways after all that doc says he sees no sign of inflammation or crohns. Which I guess is a good thing. Yes I want answers, but I know crohns is not an easy fix, and would add some difficulties to my life I don't want. So that's a good thing. Though he said nothing about seeing a fistula or anything, not that they ever tell you these things, he probably just thought telling me no crohns was a relieving thing, and it was, just with the journey I've been through I want answer. And I really didn't want to have forced myself to drink chalk paste for nothing! But I came home, took a nice long nap, and woke up to my docotos office calling to want to see me, which I already had an appointment cause I am smart. ;) Results or no I would have to see him, but him calling me means theirs results! I Hope....he actually once called me when there was no results from testing because he wanted to move on to the next step, but hopefully this is the CT scan..or something the doctor didn't tell me about with this barium scan. Oh well, CROSS YOUR FINGERS.


Anyways, Surprise commissions! These are actually quite a lot of fun. I got the three first ones sketched out and should be done tonight and I should be able to start the two outside ones I got tonight, if not tomorrow. Its kinda fun to just draw whatever comes out for the character. I might do more, but I may bump it up to 10 dollars cause I am actually putting more work into them thenI thought I would. So all yous that got the 5 dollar ones, you lucky ducks!
Though I may do a round of surprise chibi's to practice a style for that..I love playing with chibi styles

There is a bird outside my window making the weirdest noises, it sounds like its growling,. I guess its a crow, but it is a scary crow, the cat is even hiding from it...Oh there's two now! I hate crows.

Anyways. What is a surprise commission you ask? Well its whatever I feel like drawing from the information you've given me! It can range anywhere from a headshot to a full body, to a chibi to an icon, you get whatever comes out of my fingers and brain! and they will be in full color.
I am hoping for this to be a today and tomorrow thing, as I am just trying to get faster at art and get some practice in.
Please make sure you give me all information down to the smallest detail of your character, as you will not receive any preview of an image, simply the completed piece. :)


So I have a few to do now! Actually excited and happy some people were interested it's a lik less stessful just to draw what I want and I got some pretty awesome chars. I am really amazed by alot of the detail in some so it'll be fun! Also if you still are interested please don't be afraid to ask but any new ones I take are not on today/tomorrow deadline is all but I don't want to have more then I can finish before Friday as that's my doctors apt for HOPEFULLY test results so I dunno what will bs going on after that!

Nevermind

CT Scan today. And I am nervous. Not so much about the procedure but them just finding something, this is supposed to be the be all to end all test to find problems and I am just so scared they won't find anything and I will be stuck with this pain cause doctors don't want to believe it until they see it. :(
I am just freaking out. Cross your fingers it finds SOMETHING.

CT Scan Booked for Friday! If I could be dancing I probably would be. GAH FINALLY!!!

I have always wanted to find someone to do some collaberations with for commissions or just fun, so I thought I'd just put it out there again in case someone is interested. My idea of collabs isn't specifically you draw I color or vice versa I like the sketch itself to be a blend if that makes any sense. I cross my fingers I can find someone interested. :)

Wiped my computer today cause its been a bitch....All went well...but now I gotta download stuff.
THOUGH I ALSO LOST MY FREAKING SPOON PEN IN OPENCANVAS..if anyone has this file pleeease contact me and send it to me I'd be most gracious.

Still in pain, still waiting on a doctor to tell me wtf is wrong and getting really near the end of my rope with it! GAH. Seeing my GP tomorrow to tell him I am still where we started and I want to be referred to a new surgeon, this one I have been working with just doesn't seem to give a damn and I feel pacified by her.

Anyways. I've been back at art. Not that I ever really feel like working on anything for long, but stopping my flow of creativity is just mentally painful so I try to do some stuff.

As for commissions? I don't know if I will be opening them again publically, if you are interested don't be afraid to drop me an IM and we can discuss prices and stuff and if i am able to do it, but otherwise for now I may just do shite for fun and not for worry. Though I've had alot of great people commission me, you always get a dud that makes you go, why do I even bother doing this and why are you paying me if you don't like my style and want me to change it for you? Makes no sense.

I am thinking of doing some trades, I really like doing trades and I actually have a character I can ask people to draw...she's a bunnnnneeeh!

How many times can you catch a friend lieing to you before you have to say no more? Its like everytime it hurts more, and now it just kills.

Now I am in actual physical pain and mental pain. I don't get it....I'm so depressed. Funny thing is I think the person who informed me of the lie was trying to get me out of the way.

Anyone know of any reliable online althernative clothing stores?

I keep trying to design this char but I just can't draw...it just hurts too much to concentrate and it really sucks cause I want to get her out of my head and on paper.
Also its like 7pm, I think the ER Doc forgot about me. Whatever, shes the one who cast meoff in the first place so I doubted she'd consider me prudent enough.....though it is also halloween and people do stupid shit on halloween. :( I am just sick of being in pain.

Don't you love it when your ex is dating something who is very obviously lower on the hotness scale then you are? Zing.


Yeah thats low of me, but he was a cheating dirty jackoff. :)

Still waiting for the damn doctor to call. :(

Turns out nothing showed up on my pelvic exam, doctor called me in to see how I was doing which really hasn't changed so. May be going to emergency on sat to see a surgeon and maybe get bumped up for a cat scan. They still haveno idea what wrong with me :(

So after numerous doctor visits and a trip to the er with a doc who didn't listen had a pelvic ultrasound. They called me in so I amhopung they found something. Its funny usually you want them to find nothing but this pain is so bad I want answers. Hopefully this is it.

Just cause people seem to love my char designs I was wondering If I should offer them? Or do a few adoptable designs instead of adoptable creatures? Huuuuuummmmmm?
Not that I expect and answer, I've never gotten answers to past questions I asked through this journal, but we shall see!

So as some of you know I've had exteme abdominal pain since the begining of sept. It like comes and goes and kinda builds up. First they thought gallbladder, got an ultrasound, no stones, ruled out. Then I had to wait till oct for a gastroscopy cause then they thought ulcer. So I waited, it actually went away for a week and came back with avengence now. Got my scope they found my duodenum is inflammex gave me acid reducing pills and kinds said check bsck in three months. Meanwhile I get home I feel fine, take a nap to shake off the med. Wake up, was just watching tv and was hit by the worst pain yet. I ended up going upstairs lieing in bed and just crying. This lasted over 6 hours, I ended up getting sick of staring at my wall thought I could distract myself with tv. Mom notices my pain asks mr if I want to go to emergency. At the time I said no, I didn't feel like them casting me up with an inflammex duodenum of whatever, as I've already been like dropped down the list due to the diagnosis changing, but the pain hasn't changed. Not to mention chills, fever, dizzy, nausea, vomitting and all that. Got to see my doc today, mom came with me to stress thenpain, it's my own fault in that dept, I said I'm in pain but I've been really calm in saying it and I don't think the doc were taking me seriously. Well my family doc says an inflammed dudenum would not be causing that severe amount of pain though is still treating me for duodenum. Acid reducing pills and some pills that relax the stomach so food can pass easier through the inflammation. Though truthfully hungry or full it hurts. He gave me some t3 for pain but I don't want to ignore the pain cause if I have another attack like that I should go to emergency to push a ct scan. My doc is just trying to rule out the common ailments cause he doesn't want to get into the uncommon but I am sick of not knowing. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and this pain I am absolutely terrified of, I don't want to go through attacks of it, I really wanted it to just be and ulcer, even if they removed my gallbladder in the first place I would of rather had the pain of surgery then this. I just feel myself mentally breaking down it's already at that point. It's just so difficult.

Anyway, this is why I havnt updated and been so slow with my last two commissions, it's just too painful to concentrate :( sorry I'm working just extremly slow!










Still Selling!

This one - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4317091/ (As is)
This one- http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3093817/ (As is, though I could make a port out of it.)

Prices negotiable. Just want them used really and a lil extra moola for it would be nice. :)



Also Help a friend out  godawfulracket is trying to make some moola and offering commissions!

Anyone out there willing to do a rush on a port for a char of mine? I don't feel like searching....:( And I dunno how Much i am willing to pay, but I don't feel like waiting months for something...though this is kinda a steep request so I doubt I'll find anyone, but worth a shot!

My abdominal pain is back.
I just wanna curl up in a little ball and shrivel away and die....in that order. :(

This isn't someting i am expecting anyone to read, I just need to vent it so I don't go do something stupid and tear someone a new one, cause I really don't want to sink to that level about this....but I am so hurt and angry.....So its just friendship drama below.





UGH! I am so freaking angry at a so-called friend of mine, and maybe a lot at myself as well. Long story short its been a rocky friendship since highschool, we lost touch for a few years, she comes back with a baby and we became friends again. She ends up dating this real douchebag, who doesn't shower and would probably trade her for a video game if he had the chance. He would constantly break up with her and threathen it to keep her in line, and everytime he did I would come running to comfort her and take her out. But after so many times of this happening, and this one time of her being really upset and balling and us having this long conversation about it and her agreeing with me...then calling him when i am in the bathroom. I wasn't going to drop everything for it when it started happening every week. I could never make plans with her either, she'd either 'forget' or ditch me for him, so I left that ball in her court to. Well anyways, its a tuesday afternoon she messages me saying they broke up, again, she wants to go out to this bar I hate to see some wannabe hip hop artist that is 30 dollars to get in. I told her this wasn't really my thing, nor did I have the money tos pare but we could figure out something else or do something later on in the week. Low and behold she guilts me like she oh so loves to do and I am getting a lil p.o.ed. She brings up how I never make plans, so I bring up how she never keeps them. She brings up she listens to my problems (Yeah actually no cause I never have a chance to say my problems) and I don't listen to hers. And I said your only problem is you keep going back to him. She gets all pissed off, swears, rants and calls me a bad friend and pulls out of my life. I was upset but she was such a little....well yeah, her attitude kinda cushioned the fall of a bad friendship, it had obviously been building up to this for me and I was prepaired. Sad but prepaired...so I moved on.

She started contactign me agian, saying she was sorry and missed me and she wanted to hang out. Meanwhile she had starte dhanging out with this girl who....well, let me break it down. Two kids she lost custody of, baby daddies seperate. Will actually ditch her friends at her house when she had to kids so they'd be forced to babysit and she can go out drinking. Posts pictures of herself with dildos and in 'suggestive' poses. She's a real winner. Really I don't actualyl know when she is sober either. HEr life revolves around whens the next time she will get drunk.....So my friend has started going out every weekend, leaving her kid at home or ditching her on friends. Even tried to get me to babysit for free so she could go out drinking. I always told her I'd babysit but not for her to go party when she did it the night before as well.

Anyways after many I miss yous and lets hang out messages, which was contacting me more then she used to I finally decided to give her another chance, made plans for yesterday. She tells me at the beginign of the week income assitance is giving her issues and not giving her her cheque so she may not have money to go out....tells me thurs its certain she has no monmey. I jut say ok...but if you've ever been on income assitance, they don't just cut you off, specially when you have a kid....So I figured it was a lie.

Also then, theirs facebook. I heard a comedian once say you can't lie as long as your on facebook. That new friend of hers I was talking about posts how shes going out friday...and my friend posts she coming..the my friend asks this girl if she wants to go out sat, which she replies she'll be broke, which my friend replies, i will PAY for you.

Its taking all my bloody energy to keep from being like WTF...do you think I can't read? Or do you not realise that friend of yours doesn't hide her facebook so I can see it all. Why do I never listen tomy gut that said she's going to ditch you. People keep telling me you just gave her a chance and she blew it...but shes also draggng me through the mud and acting liek I was born yesterday in not noticing shes still going out though she said to me she has no money to...

Sometimes I wish i was just a pety person so I could just sink to that level and tear her a new one.

50 year old men blasting rap music out there beat up Jeeps is scary! He looked like cotton from king of the hill and i was like...wtf man.

Anyone want me to do halloween commissions? I like designing funky crazy costumes but I dunno I don't feel like being uber public with the idea so if your interested just poke me.

I need a new icon but I am lazy, someone donate.

I also got a pair of 50 dollar shoe's for 10 bucks. Thats a steal.

I'm only keeping them open till the end of the week, Come Sunday they will be closed. When Open again, there will be some changes in what I am offering. It'll most likely be alot less stuff offerend and more a flavor of the month sorta idea....Cheap easy stuff like 5 dollar headshots or something. So if you wanted something by me thats on the list now? Grab a spot or your outta luck till I open for it again...and that could be never! mwhahaha!

Moved Commission Info up above so I could have a working journal. Not that I update it regulary but feels better.
I am so freaking sore. Decided to revamp my work area. In other words I moved around my room. My bed is heavvy. I felt fine yesterday and today I wake up barely able to get outta bed cause I am sore from midback down! It sucks! :(

I really need to meet some new people, well new artists, I have very little artist friends to talk about artist things. At some point I wil find someone to do collabs with.....I will...*shakes fist*

Thanks for all the watches and favs recently people!!!! <333


[/b]
Slots-

Open, but expect a wait period. :)


Flox on FAZ - Full Body and Port - Port Done, Coloring Full Body.- Info Recieved. *paid*
Masturbate on Furcadia - Port- Sketched *Waiting Approval and Payment* - Info Recieved.
 Maromi37 -Port- Sketching- Info Recieved.
 Jinxy_Falina Icon - Not Started - Info Recieved.




---Offering----

Furcadia Portraits - Non Remap, 95x95. 15$ USD
Headshots - Full CG to shoulders $5 USD
Bust- Full CG to Bust. $10 USD
Thigh Shot - Full CG to Thighs, 15$ USD
Full Body - Full CG Full body, $25 USD
Custom Adoptable Base - TBA
Extra Characters In Art are negotiable.
Any other types of commissions are negotiable.

----Rules---

- I do males and females
- I will do all types of animals and humans, pay in mind I don't do muzzles.
- I will do nudity and gore. Tasteful, not extreme stuff.
- I do Adult ports.
- Refunds can be asked for and given before sketch preview in recieved, as thats when I expect payment. After any need for refunds need to be discussed.
- I reserve the right to cancel and refund the piece at any time.
- Please treat me like a person and not like your slave. You want the best out of me, you'll have to have some patience.
- I will update you as much as I possibly can, don't be afraid to ask me for updates but don't get too excessive about it. If you don't hear from me I am most likely working on your piece.


--Commission Form--

What I need from you is fairly simple. All info on the char, including spiecies and color pallate. Any refrences you may have and I also accept photo referance to show outfits or perhaps a celebrity you figure them to look like more. Give me as much info as you possibly can, if you want me to have any artistic freedoms, such as on outfit, please tell me this. :)

Thanks for all the watches and favs recently people!!!! <333


Slots-

(For now I am not listing a number of slots as I will be taking as much as I can, if it becomes too full I will close and reopen when my plate is cleared.)


Flox on FAZ - Full Body and Port - Not started - Info Recieved.
 mamber - Port - Not Started - Info Recieved.
Masturbate on Furcadia - Port - Not started - Info Recieved.




---Offering----

Furcadia Portraits - Non Remap, 95x95. 15$ USD
Headshots - Full CG to shoulders $5 USD
Bust- Full CG to Bust. $10 USD
Thigh Shot - Full CG to Thighs, 15$ USD
Full Body - Full CG Full body, $25 USD
Custom Adoptable Base - TBA
Extra Characters In Art are negotiable.
Any other types of commissions are negotiable.

----Rules---

- I do males and females
- I will do all types of animals and humans, pay in mind I don't do muzzles.
- I will do nudity and gore. Tasteful, not extreme stuff.
- I do Adult ports.
- Refunds can be asked for and given before sketch preview in recieved, as thats when I expect payment. After any need for refunds need to be discussed.
- I reserve the right to cancel and refund the piece at any time.
- Please treat me like a person and not like your slave. You want the best out of me, you'll have to have some patience.
- I will update you as much as I possibly can, don't be afraid to ask me for updates but don't get too excessive about it. If you don't hear from me I am most likely working on your piece.
- USE PAYPAL CALCULATER! I should not have to pay for the transfer fees.


--Commission Form--

What I need from you is fairly simple. All info on the char, including spiecies and color pallate. Any refrences you may have and I also accept photo referance to show outfits or perhaps a celebrity you figure them to look like more. Give me as much info as you possibly can, if you want me to have any artistic freedoms, such as on outfit, please tell me this. :)

Been a busy week, looks like opening commissions are on hold till probably next week as I didn't get what I wanted to get done. And in saying that, give me some animals to draw doing some adoptable/character design things. :)