I can tell I'm really lonely, I need some more friends
I would prefer you're in a timezone somewhat close to the UK as I'm sick and tired of waiting 5 hours for American people to wake up every single day. (You can be American but it just upsets me atp)
Looking for other fatfurs, preferably wholesome ones
Just gonna frontload a ton of warnings
1. I have separation anxiety/attachment issues. I'll probably be clingy, because I'm just really lonely.
2. I'm generally super needy, I just need stuff. Don't expect me to do anything back, I feel way too depressed rn 😢
3. I get jealous insanely easily.
4. PLEASE BE CALM WITH ME, EXPECT ME TO VENT TO SOME DEGREE

i can already tell nobody's actually reading any of this shit, but if you have severe brain damage and somehow you are interested then shoot me a note (I should see it, I have an extension) and I'll give you my Discord

part of me wants to start doing art trades with people..... but I really don't have the confidence I'm good enough yet
it just sucks not even having the option to spend money on stuff.....
i'm not even sure who i'd trade with, i'm assuming anyone i'd want to trade with is 18+ because I can't have nice things....
sighhhhh
i'd trade stuff with  spinnlesdaf0xman but even she admits she's kinda lazy so I just can't expect anything...
i hate wasting ideas because i'm not good enough to feel ready to do them... and ofc she won't cus she's lazy (again, even she agrees on this)
she's literally the only person i can think of who i'm willing to trade stuff with right now...

i really like her brand of wholesomeness, if anyone knows anyone else like that please let me know...
wholesome fat art is way too rare.. the only other wholesome fat artist i know of literally just moved off fa..

If anyone wants to do anything, send me a note.... Just don't expect my stuff to be good
or just gift me stuff, idc.... (I know full well this will never, ever happen to me)
I feel like I need people to gift me stuff without getting anything in return because I don't have shit to give you.
If I did then maybe I would but I don't so I definitely won't...
I'm just mad it has to be this way.

I set up Vista on my old PC (an Optiplex 755 with a Pentium E2200, 4GB of ram, a GT 730 and now a 120GB SSD) cus I used to run XP on here but it crashed in exclusive fullscreen with my gt 730 drivers
Vista doesn't appear to have that issue. (If Worms Armageddon intro runs in exclusive fullscreen, I think it does since it runs at 800x600, and being able to complete a ~10 minute match, means anything)
Any ideas for cool software I could run on here? (I already have r3dfox set up, i already have my updates etc. I just want cool stuff to run on here. Be it games, fun apps, whatever. Actually posting this from that machine rn UwU)

especially today, I'm realising that everything I want is just...... Totally out of my reach.
I can only really bond with other fatfurs, and 90% of them are 18+ which is a huge issue since I'm 17.
Even with people I am bonding with, I have insane separation anxiety. Because I'm British, most Americans are 5 hrs behind me. So my 7am is their 2am. And their 7am is my 1pm. I can't do shit until they're up because almost all of my good friends are American. Even when they are awake I can usually only talk to like one person at once for some reason. It's like pulling teeth getting people to respond sometimes, I have to prod a lot.
I get crazy separation anxiety because I'm afraid of people leaving me, even for a little bit. It hurts so much knowing someone has to leave at XYZ time, I always feel pressured to stay with them until that happens.

Money is another huge issue. I can't get a (credit/debit) card. I don't have any sort of ID and can't buy any sort of ID. My parents are consistently assholes (in a way that clearly indicates they don't love me) - so I don't trust them to get me a card.

I really need a huge plushie I can just snuggle into, the sensory aspect is why I'm a furry at all, let alone a fat furry. But they cost money so it's never going to happen....

I can tell I'm very hard to work with. Probably another reason I struggle so much with connection.
I get jealous very easily about things that I rightfully shouldn't - even birthdays upset me now (I'm waiting for mine so everyone can take me seriously) and art can too (I AM ALLOWED TO BE UPSET ABOUT LOSING ART RAFFLES. I DON'T KNOW WHY PEOPLE GET SO MAD WHEN I "FLIP OUT" OVER THIS. IT'S OKAY TO BE MAD IF YOU HAVE LIMITED ACCESS. EVEN IF IT'S JUST MEANT TO BE FUN, IT'S NOT FOR ME AND THAT'S THE ISSUE. and just because im learning how to draw doesn't mean i can draw for myself inb4)
It just feels really..... Really pathetic honestly. I have a lot of baggage and by being my friend you only really gain access to this incredibly broken skunk. I will beg a lot, because I'm desperate, not just for art but also for affection. For attention. I need love and I'm not getting it at the moment.

I hate venting. It doesn't feel like it helps me but I need people to understand what I'm going through. But at the same time I hate seeing other people vent.
I can't describe it, I'm very hypocritical in this sort of way about a lot of things. I think I'm prioritising myself because I'm getting so, so desperate, which is also really sad to think about.

yay