Hello everyone!

Sorry I haven't been super active on here. Life's kind of gotten in the way of my drawing. Hoping to solve that soon by saving up for an iPad so I can draw on the go!

Until then, I'll try and post a bit more often. I also created a new twitter account where I hope to be a bit more active.

https://twitter.com/SleeplessArt1

Feel free to follow!

Its like the competitive brand to Wacom, and its their equivalent to the Cintiq
So you can expect a LOT more art from me now that my digital art can be just as portable as my traditional art c:

The Butt Store

Do you need a new butt?
Will yours just not do?
Well honey
I've got the store for you!
A gallery for butts
Come one, come all!
There's all kinds of butts
Both big and small

We've got butts that are big
Butts that are round
We've got butts that make
A tiny "toot" sound
Butts that are flat
And butts super small
Butts on short people
Butts for people who are tall

We've got butts that are firm
Hard in your grasp
Butts that are flabby
But nice ones at that
Butts so big
They cover the seat
And butts that are tiny
Cute and petite

We've got baby butts
With the softest of skin
Old ones that show
How old, where they've been
Butts that are fake
so plump and new
Butts that are real
Which are far in few

But what's this?
A butt we don't know?
Yes it's your butt!
And just look at it glow!
It's so very unique
It's one-of-a-kind!
Yes that trunk back there
Is quite some behind!

You don't need a new butt
Why yours is so you!
Who would wear it
If it wasn't on you?
Show off that butt girl!
Because it's got class
You'll have everyone saying
"What an amazing * * *"



A poem I made a while ago while waiting to get my oil changed lmao. Its my most popular poem on Hello Poetry tho
Also I felt this is needed for International Women's Day. Ladies need to love their butts no matter how they look ;O

Hello! So if you're wondering why I haven't been uploading anything as of late, its because my new computer isn't set up yet. I'm using my boyfriend's computer and I don't want to download the drivers for my tablet on here.
I would be uploading traditional artwork, BUT my scanner is crapping out on me ;^; So if you're wondering where your art is (I'm mostly referring to the previous journal of mine), its because of the scanner.
I would take a picture, but that's just unprofessional tbh. I'd rather scan it and clean it up a bit. They're done, but they've yet to be uploaded. If I can fix it, I'll have them by tonight along with a LOT of other art I need to upload. If not, you'll probably see it tomorrow.

On another note, I'm back in NC and loving every minute of it! Progress on fixing up the house it moving along steadily. The Septic people came and cleaned out the tank (which hadn't been done in 20 years lmao) and furniture is being moved everywhere, so its a bit chaotic. Hopefully it should all be finished within the week!

I will be accepting commissions, but I might not be able to start them until next week (depending on which medium you prefer)

That's it for now guys! I'll be seeing you! <3

Hey everyone! My moving day is almost here! I'm going to be leaving February 2nd (so this coming Tuesday) and I can't wait!
Still having money problems though, so I still am asking for commissions. My prices are on the front page <3

I'm sad to leave Florida though. I've made a few friends here and I'm going to really miss having all of these dogs around (we have 8 including mine at the house). Though I won't really miss living with my family, I will miss them as a whole. And let's be honest, I'm gonna miss the fact that everything around me is within walking distance. I literally walk 5 minutes to get to work. Since August, I filled up my tank 4 times. Yeah, I don't use my car much

But at the end of the day, the things I miss in NC are weighing much heavier than the things I will be missing here. Plus, I can always visit. Destin is an amazing vacation spot, and I will get to vacation for free ;D

But yeah, in other news, starting to actually draw porn now, so we'll see how that goes. I'll see you guys later! <3

~Sleepless <3

So I'm putting in my two weeks notice on Monday when the doctor gets back. After that, it's just another two weeks until I can move back to NC and get back to my life there. I'm so excited! But nervous too. I need to get a job there asap or I'm gonna be in big trouble. Hopefully all will turn out well though. I'll just be happy to see my boyfriend again. It's been... 6 months now.

That being said, I'm open for commissions in the meantime, and would really like to get a few in for emergency money. Note me if you would like one! My prices are listed on my front page in my featured picture.

Things are looking up, and I'm trying to stay positive. I'm job hunting starting Monday. Wish me luck! <3

-Sleepless <3

Hey guys! I'm actually still alive surprisingly.

For those who commission me, my new paypal name will have a different last name than normal. I'm trying to get it legally changed so its all one step at a time.

Also, I've noticed this happening all too frequently. I get a note on FA, I talk to said person, then it gets uncomfortable really fast. When I say I welcome friendly chats, please do not get too friendly, if you know what I mean. I have been in a relationship with the same guy for 3 years. Please respect that ;^;
But by all means, I love talking to new people! I don't mind you messaging me at all: in fact, I welcome it. But please, make sure its not to hit on me lmao

I've updated commission types and prices, and I'm hoping to keep this one permanent, unlike the rest that I've done previously.

Another HUGE note: I'm trying to move back to NC. That being said, I need to find a job there. But, if I'm able to get enough commission money in, I could probably move up soon. If you can, please spread the news that I'm in need of money ;^; It would be most appreciated! <3


Well that's it for now. See you guys later!
~Sleepless <3

This lovely artist is selling GORGEOUS art for an extremely cheap price!
A signal boost for them would be amazing!

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15975973
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15975973
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15975973

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18053976/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18053976/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18053976/

Please help them out!

Still working on the YCH Commissions so look out for those soon!

Gonna be doing a HUGE drawing, at my Uncle's request! He wants all 7 of our dogs and the dog that recently passed on a big canvas. He's paying me a good amount and I've really been wanting to draw dogs so I'm excited!

There are so many trolling accounts now on FA and some of them are whatever (nudity not tagged as such) but there's this new one that literally has severed dogs heads and I've never felt so sick in my life...

FA needs to start tracking these people down or I'm not going to be on here much longer tbh

Yeah they fired me for reasons I can't even figure out, but that place treated me horribly so I don't really care that much. I know live in Florida with my family and hopefully finding a job here will be easier.

Just to let you know I'll still be accepting commissions! I'll link it here for prices.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7030944/


Any furs that live along the pan handle?

Sketch: $12 http://i.imgur.com/RMfbJQH.jpg
Line Art: $18 http://i.imgur.com/RMfbJQH.jpg
Flat Colour: $25 http://i.imgur.com/RMfbJQH.jpg
Cell Shade: $35 http://i.imgur.com/RMfbJQH.jpg
Soft Shade: $40 http://i.imgur.com/RMfbJQH.jpg
Chibi: $10 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16359079/ http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17572060/
Reference Sheet: $65 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14584160/
Traditional Full Body: $25 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16097551/ http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16382773/
Experimental: (Up for negotiation!) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15451374/

All commissions (excluding Traditional and Sketches) can include a simplistic background, free of charge, though I will decide what is simplistic. A detailed background will add $10-$20 regardless of commission type.

*Extra characters for any of the first 5 commission types will be $8 regardless of commission type, and has a limit of 3 characters extra (so 4 total)

PLEASE NOTE:
I accept only Paypal payments (unless I know you personally and can meet you for any other payment). You don't need a Paypal account to pay me. My Paypal account will be listed.

ANOTHER NOTE:
I require full payment after you have approved the final sketch! This is so that you have peace of mind knowing it will be completed, and I have peace of mind knowing that you weren't going to skip out on the payment. Once I receive payment, I will begin the process of finishing the commission.

REFUNDS:
In the case that you are not satisfied with the finished product, I will offer you one of two options: you can ask for modifications or a redraw, or you can request a refund. THIS REFUND WILL NOT BE THE FULL PAYMENT. I will give back 75% of the payment, as I did put a lot of work into the commission. After this, I will put a watermark over the image as it is now considered my property. I apologize if this is upsetting, but you have to realize that I spend no less that an hour on even sketch commissions, and some even take days to finish. I try to make every detail absolutely perfect for the piece, and will try my hardest to satisfy my clients. Note that most artists work differently than I, as some request payment up front and do not give refunds (though these are more for the artists that have years and years of experience). Respect each artists' rules please! It is our job after all.

WILL NOT DRAW:

Extreme Gore
Water Sports
Inflation
Any sort of rape situation! (So PLEASE do not ask)
Suicidal pictures
MLP or Sonic porn (I'm just not comfortable with it)
Extreme fetishes (feel free to ask!)
You can request art with my characters (NSFW as well!) but please note the only character I won't do nsfw works with is Tate. He is asexual, so please respect that <3

Please send me a note with all details possible! Reference sheets are preferred, pictures of the characters are fine, and written word is acceptable as well. Thank you guys!

-Sleepless (Hail) <3

Been a long time but I'm back! A lot of stuff happened, but this time I'll save you the sob story

All my gifts are nearly up to date! Just need to finalize the last one and I'll be caught up WHICH MEANS... (drum roll)
COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN AGAIN

Yes they're open and I have better news!

I'M ON PICARTO.TV FOR STREAMING!

My sister gave me her old laptop and it runs extremely well so I can now do streams on Picarto!

https://picarto.tv/SleeplessKnights

Can't wait to see you guys on there! <3

I was able to find someone (after several SEVERAL mechanics later) who could fix my car for cheap!
And one of my friends managed to find a place that sells dog shots for cheap, and those I can administer myself because I'm a certified Vet Assistant

I appreciate all of those who had the kindness in them to share my journal and even to give me money
Those who gave me money will get all of it back along with art from me as a thank you for what you've done <3


Thank you all so much! Things are going to start looking up now <3

To all of the new watchers, thank you for your support! Its truly appreciated <3


So I managed to get a full time job as a bartender and server at East Coast Wings recently, and I'm fresh out of training! I'm going to be picking up a LOT more hours than I used to, so art will be a little slower. Ask in advanced about commissions and most importantly, be patient with me. If I don't get to your commission right away, its probably because I've averaged 50-56 hours a week and that's over double what I used to work (almost triple) so free time is limited

On another note, my prices will once again be rising due to a need for a more steady income! After getting a lot more commissions than in the past, I realized my time spent doing the commissions is honestly underpaid. Plus, my YCH Chibi auction honestly paid MUCH more than expected, and I realized also that people were actually more than willing to pay more for my work. Its nothing personal guys! I'm just poor and about to be on my own so I need a lot more money. However, they're not going to be ridiculously high. I'm thinking sketches are gonna start at around $15 and reference sheets will honestly probably be $70. Realize that ref sheets take me around 5 hours to complete, so its really not that bad of pay.

IF YOU'VE ALREADY COMMISSIONED ME BEFORE THIS JOURNAL, THE ORIGINAL PRICES WILL STILL APPLY

The new commission prices will apply when I'm actually able to get a new journal/commission sheet up and ready for use.

That aside, I'll be in a much happier state once my family moves out, so expect me to not be as depressed on here.

I've been really depressed the past two weeks

Don't get me wrong: a new job is all I could ask for, and my family moving out in a month is absolutely amazing, but I'm having problems with my irl friends and I'm slowly realizing that my true irl friends are very few. Out of the 4 of them, one moved to South Carolina, one is just home for the summer, and the other two are really the only ones I actually get to see, and one of them is my boyfriend. The Teamspeak/League group I was in became really toxic, or, with just two people rather. I believe the one guy might be autistic (I can tell by the way he reacts to other's and their emotions along with the way he holds conversations) so he has a bit of an excuse. The other guy I've known for years now, and only did he become an ass when he went to college. Now, its like he doesn't give a shit about me. Well anyway, I posted a message in the chat saying I was upset with them, and the only people to respond were the people I actually didn't need an apology from. The other two haven't said a word to me (though I don't really expect one from the first guy). But, with all this awkward tension, I feel like I should just exclude myself from the group. I already feel as though I've messed up something that was good in my life, and its just falling apart...

I'm just so lonely now and I really don't know what to do

RIP in peace you old coot

Yeah, my baby died recently, though to be quite honest, I'm not sure why. We had a freak storm (Which isn't unusual for North Carolina) but I think it might have corrupted my hard drive. I couldn't even get my work to run diagnostics on it because it was that messed up. A friend of mine is going to take a look at it soon, but until then, I'm going to have to use my laptops.

Here's what you can expect!

Negative:
- No Streams or Join Me's (my laptop can't push it)

Positive:
- More openings for both digital and traditional commissions!
- Cheaper commissions!
- Being online more frequently

So even though it died temporarily, I'm looking at this as somewhat positive. I can't play League or Terraria, so I'm going to have a LOT of free time on my hands, which means more time for drawing. I'll now be doing more digital art for practice, and maybe trying my hand a backgrounds. I'll also have a lot more openings due to the fact that I'm going to be in need of money to either get it repaid or build myself a new PC. I have a monitor and I'm sure I can salvage most of the parts from the PC (Namely the case), but I still only work part time on minimum wage, so I'll be needing all the help I can get! So even though I love doing it, expect gift art to be very very VERY rare.

I appreciate all the help guys! Plan on me making an official commission sheet soon too! This way, everything will look much more organized, and hopefully, it will be easier to understand (that means no more commission tab!)

Thanks guys. Look forward to talking to you! Feel free to comment below if you wanna hit me up with a commission!

About an hour ago actually, which would explain the sudden absence on here again.
It was an amazing trip, however, I think I lost my phone at one of the rest stops...

It could be anywhere between Atlanta, Georgia and Charlotte, North Carolina (which is about 4 hours inbetween). I'd call it, but of course, its dead. Oh well I guess. I won't be on as much until I either find it or get a new one, so expect slow replies.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5118132/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5187628/

No, it's not my birthday. I mean this more figuratively.

If you've been following me for at least a year now, you'd have probably seen those two journals, and remember my absence after they were made. Well, exactly one year later and here we are. Today marks the day of my father's death

I won't bother explaining why I'm not sad today (as the two journals above will explain everything). What this journal is for is to show you guys my past year, and to explain to you why I'm so happy.

A few weeks after his death was all fun and games for some of us, as we were able to finally get out into the world, doing things that we were never allowed to do before. It was fun at least until reality hit us, and it hit me hard. I was a senior at the Early College and it happened about mid semester, so you can imagine the stress I had of college classes and high school classes. Being the only other adult and the only one with a license, I had to be everyone's chauffeur and the one who stayed at home and worked. It was horrible to say the least. My mom's Appendix burst three weeks later and my Uncle had open heart surgery not too long after. It started to turn around when my birthday came on December 30th. We got to drive to the beach and I brought along my boyfriend. It was the first night we got to sleep in the same bed together, and it was the first night we were both able to sleep peacefully without waking up once.

When school came back in session for the next semester, everything stayed pretty calm. We drove down to Florida for Spring Break and stayed at my Uncle's place. I ended up getting a Cherry Blossom tattoo on my left shoulder. It was so nice to get away, but I was happy to be back home, but when I got back, I hit the lowest point in my life. I couldn't handle the stress of everything anymore. I was working too hard at home because my sisters never cleaned and only made messes. With my mom working all the time, and me having school, you could imagine where my grades were going, especially in painting. With a three hour class in the morning at another building, it was hard to even think about going to it, especially with how much I cried in the morning, but my friend TJ slipped class everyday that I did just to be with me to make sure I was okay. Then the day came that we found out my sister was trying to overdose on her depression meds. I was so furious that day, especially when she tried attacking my other sister, so I threw her against the wall and told her how selfish she was being trying to turn the attention onto herself because we were all too focused on Ashley's health. She stayed in the hospital for four days, and my mom was never more stressed in her life, and neither was I. My friends and teachers knew this though, and tried to make everything easier for me.

Things stayed pretty much the same until graduation. I was in a class of 63 and I already miss them dearly. My second youngest sister left for Florida and my youngest siblings were still in school for another month. It was nice just getting time alone with my mom to draw and fix up the house. After Ash got back from Florida and Kate and Ean got out of school, we drove to New York with my boyfriend to celebrate my graduation and my cousin Celina's graduation. It was no doubt the best week of my entire life. We got absolutely lit the first night (we're first, second, and third generation Croatian/Italians so we party and we're loud), and I was so happy. The next day I got to tell off the other side of my family (my father's side) which I've been waiting to do for years, and it's the last time I'll ever see them so I was ecstatic. We went back to my Aunt Emina's house and all got together with my Keranovic side of the family: Aunt Jackie, Uncle Vahid, Josh, Aunt Emina, Uncle Rich, Celina, Erika, Jacob, Uncle Fadil, Aunt Karlynne, Rachel, Alex, Mom, Me, Chase, Ash, Kate, and Ean. It was an absolute blast being with everyone again. It was the first time everyone was together since my cousin's wedding eight years ago. A week later we came back to NC and things stayed pretty quiet. I got really close again to my childhood friend, Jaya, of whom had been having a lot of issues as well. She helped me through a lot this year, and even helped smudge our house to cleanse it of negative energy (which helped so much). She left just a few weeks ago, which is why I made her the picture of us two sitting together. I miss her, but I still talk to her and look forward to her return.

Mom found a really nice man that i absolutely adore. They're hitting it off really well and actually plan on moving in together soon. I ended up picking up a job at Staples and was thrilled to do so. I also cut my hair pixie short, which is something I was so afraid to do. I picked up a second job just a week ago at Lowe's and here we are today. Sure, there were other things that happened like my PCOS diagnosis a month after his death, my possible Cushing's disease that destroyed me for two weeks, gaining fifty pounds because of stress, and having all my friends leave for college, but you know what? I'm an adult now, physically and emotionally. I've done things no child has ever lived through. I've learned to be dependent and let life throw whatever it wants to me, because I'm ready for it. All of this has prepared me for my future. I'll be moving out in just a few short weeks with my boyfriend whom I've been with for a year and a half now, and we're both very excited to get on with our lives.

I'd like to thank several people here. TJ for sticking by me and failing a class for me just to make sure I was okay. Sophie for making me smile and laugh and boosting my confidence when there was none there. Holley for talking through my problems and for making me tear from crying every time I was around her. Jaya for loving me and for giving me the strength to continue on and push through. Rudi (Jaya's mother) for being my second mother and for giving me life-changing speeches that helped me through hard times. Adam for being the dork he is, but for cheering me up when I needed it. All the members of our SQUAD who are just absolutely amazing and I've had such a great time with and who were the cure to my depression. All of the Keranovic side of the family for being the greatest family a person could ask for. My mother for being understanding and for helping me through the rough times of my life. For Snowy who helped me smile and who cared enough to message me every time I was online. Valden for cheering me up with their kind words and beautiful artwork. Kuro for being my number one watcher and for being such an amazing friend. Brandon, for being there and giving me the most amazing advice a person could need. I know there will be a lot more that I'm missing, but know who you are and know that I love each and every one of you dearly.

Last, but far from least, is the one person who has changed my entire life around, my lifetime partner and my best friend Chase. Thank you so very much sweetheart for being my crutch through everything, and for helping me through times that I didn't think I would see the end. I love you more than you could ever imagine.

Thank you everyone for giving me a chance and molding me into the person I am today. In closing, here are some words to live by. A song that has been my absolute favourite since I was a little kid. Good Riddance by Green Day

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,
I hope you had the time of your life.

For all those that would like to roleplay, you can reply to this starter by sending me a note of the reply (as it's easier to keep up with) or you can do it through email or skype. My email is thompsonh3018[at]gmail.com and the Skype username is linked through my Microsoft account so it should be the same. It's Hail Thompson (my icon is a picture of Zephyr). Also, your reply doesn't need to be this long xD I just enjoy making extremely thorough starters ;3


Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

A hand reached out from under the covers and slapped the digital alarm clock with a little more force than intended. The hand was unusual with its dark brown fur that covered it. The fur was so long and so thick that not a wrist could be seen. The owner of the hand gave a deep sigh as he crawled out from underneath his covers, sitting up slightly. White fur surrounding his head was matted and out of control from tossing I'm his bed. His rose coloured eyes seemed dull and tired, as he was. It was unclear whether or not the darkness under his eyes were markings in his fur, or actual dark circles. Either way, this creature knew one thing and one thing only: today was going to be hell.

The creature pulled the covers off of his body and swung his legs off the side of the bed. He gave a soft sigh as he rose to his feet, letting his rather heavy tail fall to the floor behind him. Though it was only sixty degrees in the house and the only thing the creature wore was a pair of navy blue boxer briefs, he wasn't cold. Actually, quite the contrary. Because of the creature's dense fur, he was constantly hot, so he decided it was better for his wallet to suffer than he himself, as the heating and cooling bill was always ridiculously high every month.

He walked over to the window and pulled back the curtains, letting in the soft lighting of the early dawn. The sun was barely above the horizon, though he could hardly tell from the apartments in front of his own. It was cloudy as well, so he could count on the sun being very sparse today. This was his favourite weather: cold and gloomy. Why would this creature's day sure to be hell then? There were two simple words for this: Errand Day.

Errand Day was the one day a month that the the creature had to force himself to leave the house in order to get the appropriate amount of groceries for the month, spend a decent amount on clothes each month, and deal a gratuitous amount of cash on new books from one of his favourite bookstores in the city. The problem with all of this wasn't the money: The creature had an ample amount of money that he earned from a will entitled to him when he was just a baby. The problem with all of this was the outing itself.

This creature was a loner at at heart. He hasn't kept in close contact with anyone most all of his life (besides the book store owner of whom he doesn't mind) and tries his best to stay away from the other furs. Why is that? Well, because this creature was exactly that: a creature. He knew nothing of what he was, who he was, or where he even came from. All he knows was that his parents left him at an orphanage at an age before he could even remember with an envelope with a rather extravagant check inside. He was was feared by the other kids at the orphanage, and no one would adopt him due to a fear of the unknown. Not knowing what he is turned into his biggest insecurity. To compensate for what he lacked, he grew cold bitter, growing distant from everyone around him. Now that he is an adult and on his own with no real interactions from the outside world growing up, the creature finds it hard to accept the kindness of others, still trying to keep the other furs at a distance.

Snapping back to reality now, the creature gave a yawn, stretching out his arms behind him. Well, there was no grumbling about it now. It was Fall now and he needed his clothes for the season, and there was also the lack of food in his fridge. He was also needing to find new books to read, seeing as he has read each of his books in his collection at least twice. He couldn't get out of it.

The creature made his way over to the bathroom where he ran a brush through his disheveled hair, brushed his teeth to a pearl white, and inspected himself in the mirror. His hair was now well kept and his breath was fresh.
He needed to get dressed now, but what to wear? His clothes were out of season now, not only in the terms of style, but in functionality too. It was colder, and his summer clothes were too light. He supposed he could at least wear his Spring clothes until then. That would at least show enough skin so that he wouldn't overheat, but also cover enough so that he wouldn't be cold. He walked into his bedroom where he opened his closet to ransack through the past season's clothes. He pulled out a pair of baggy pants that hugged around his calfs, two different coloured (and different sized) tank tops, and a handkerchief. He slipped on the pants, and the two tank tops so that the straps on one of them hung off his shoulders and onto his biceps. He tied the handkerchief on his head so that his some of his hair and his ears were pulled back. Though his legs and torso were covered (along with most of his ears), his neck, arms, and midriff were exposed, allowing for the perfect mix of cool and warmth. Happy with his looks, the creature grabbed his wallet beside his bed and stuffed it inside his pockets. He grabbed his keys on the way out of the door and locked the apartment.

There was no turning back now. He had to do what needed to be done. He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked off, heading down the stairs and off onto the busy street below.

Imperfect Beauty

There are freckles on your face,
Your shoulders, arms, and back
Bronze, tanned skin
Is something that you lack
Your sight isn't the greatest
Think rims cover your eyes
Hiding the true beauty
Of hue as blue as skies

Your height is nothing unique
Your abs do not show
The wavy hair you hate so much
Has a beautiful orange glow
You don't have sweaty hands
They're the opposite: dry
But my clammy hands help them heal
When our fingers intertwine

You have the cutest nervous habits
You sway when you stand
You run your fingers through your hair
You fidget with your hands
You crack your knuckles under stress
Your neck, your back, and toes
And when your glasses start falling down
You push them up on your nose

I tell you that you're perfect
Every chance I get
And each time you tell me no
Because you seem to forget
I don't want a perfect man
Chiseled body, flawless face
Gorgeous eyes mean nothing to me
If their gaze is a cold embrace

Imperfection is a grace
That most do not see
But it's rich and beautiful and helps to show
The gorgeous personality
Look past looks and you'll fall in love
With the persona hiding within
And only then will you begin to see
The beauty imperfection can bring

You're a Divine human being
A beautiful blemished wonder
Your ginger look and nervous chuckle
Makes you more perfect than any other
Your imperfection is beautiful
And I'm happy to finally see
That someone has finally shown me how
Beautiful imperfection can be



Is this romantic or no? I don't want it to seem like, mean or anything, because that's not what it is. Its supposed to be me telling my boyfriend how he's absolutely perfect to me, despite what others think or believe. But this was going to be a poem that I was going to give to my boyfriend on Valentine's Day, but I'm not so sure now ;u; What do you guys think?

Well, there really is none :/ I haven't been on FA simply because I don't have time like I used to. I've taken on full responsibilities at my house and am on my feet almost 24/7 (No really. I once folded 5 baskets of laundry in one day which still blows my mind).

I miss you guys dearly though and think about you alot <3 And that's not a lie either. I think about you guys all the time. I'm gonna try to be on here more, because I really miss it. Of course, Commissions might be slower, but I guess I'm always up for them, but I will say that the traditional ones are going to run a dollar less (unless its a sketch) because they're much easier to do and I can do them during class.

Oh! I'm gonna have a new commission slot up soon! TWEWY (the world ends with you) style art :D I'll post an example when I get my computer connected to the scanner.

So! I'll tell you a bit about what my life's been like. My boyfriend and my family went to the beach for my 18th birthday on December 30th ^u^ Which was amazing by the way :D My classes this year are Painting (which is amazing), American Literature (which is retardedly easy), Chorus (which is SO much fun), and Hummanities (which is a joke, no really, its a class that my teacher is using to go see Robocop and I, Frankenstein in theaters ;3). Semester wise, I should be able to get all A's :D Oh! And I got all A's and one C last semester despite everything that happened, so I've been feeling much happier ^u^

I want to hear about you guys now! ^u^ Tell me what you guys have been up to over the break :D I want to know how you lovely people have been doing ^u^

Love you all, and am looking forward to talking to you again <3

--Hail

Hey guys. Its me, if you even remember me x3
I've been gone for about three weeks, but I'm coming back now <3

I kind of left you guys with a bad journal, and you guys deserve some explanation

This journal will be far from short, but if you read it all, I would truly appreciate it.

I'll tell everything in two parts: Part one is my background, part two is the event, and part three is life after

PART I My father was an alcoholic all of his life. He started at 14, and never quit. I had two younger sisters: Ashley and Katie. Every night when my mother was away at work, my dad would pass out on the couch, leaving me (7 years old) and my two younger sisters to cook dinner, get ready for school for the next morning, and put ourselves into bed. If we were lucky and quiet, dad would stay asleep. Most nights, we weren't so lucky. He would wake up and yell at us, screaming at the top of his lungs. We would come home from school to constant verbal abuse. This was my childhood up until my mom had my baby brother, Ean. I was 13 at the time. Dad got laid off of work, continued to drink, and started smoking a legal, mam-made marijuana called "Spice" and "K-2". With my mom working nightshift now, my dad always at home and always high/drunk, college and high school work (I'm taking both together at the Early College), and my sisters and I having to take care of my baby brother, my life was a living hell. The verbal abuse got worse, and there was even the occasional physical abuse, but only to me. Maybe it was because he knew that I hated him, or maybe it was because I was so much like my mom (she despised him), but whatever it was, I always got the bad end of everything, physical or verbal. He even threatened me with a gun before. Over the years, I learned how to cope by confiding in my friends. Its really them who I owe my sanity to. Without them, there's no doubt that I wouldn't be the person I am today. Sometimes though, their help wasn't enough. Dad kept getting worse, and up until about 3 months ago, he finally realized what he had done to us. He became depressed because the world hated him, because he hated it too, and never gave it a chance. He had no friends and his family despised him. He went to a class for depression for two weeks: three weeks prior to his death. At first, things were looking up. We were all happy for once in our life. He quit drinking and smoking, and I found my sense of peace. This didn't last too long though. The day after he left the class, he started drinking again, and we were back to where we were. For three days he drank, all of this leading up to the event that ended his life

PART II Its Thursday: three days after his classes ended. I'm asleep in my bedroom with my sister (we share beds). He comes upstairs, liquor on his breath. He wakes us up at one in the morning. He says "I'm going to the hospital, so I want you to take care of Ean tomorrow. Don't take him to school. I want you both to know that I love you." He walked downstairs. I thought nothing of it. It sounded like he was admitting himself to the hospital for drugs. I fell back to sleep. Ashley and I woke up again at 4:30 to hear my dad yelling on the phone downstairs. He destroyed his own phone and used my sister's to call my mom who was working nightshift, because he knew she would pick up if it was from Ashley's number. I heard him break that phone too then come rushing up the stairs. He grabbed something from his closet and walked back downstairs. Ashley followed him down the stairs before the two of us heard what sounded like a door slamming. Ashley came running up the stairs, unable to keep herself from shaking. "Dad's guncase is downstairs and the gun isn't in it and I can't find him anywhere! Call 911!" I tried keeping her calm, making sure neither her nor Katie go downstairs. I called the police and they showed up moments later, confirming what we all knew: Dad committed suicide right outside our bedroom window. Mom came home as soon as she heard, and we all stood there, not knowing what to say, what to do. And all of this time, my baby brother was asleep in his bed.

PART III The funeral in New York was the worst thing I have ever come to experience. I wasn't sad. I was mad. He left his five year old son to live without a father, who still asks for him to this day. His entire family was in the church, and yet, mom, Ash, and I were the only ones crying. They were laughing and having a good time at the banquet after, and none bothered to even send us a card. The words that still haunt me was when Ean looked at the picture of my father next to his ashes and said "Oh, my daddy!"
I became the second adult of the household. With me being the only child driving and my mom working, I'm constantly having to run around and drive everyone everywhere. I have to stay strong for my family, because I know they need me, but the weight of it all is sometimes too much to handle. I go upstairs one night when I hear Ean call my name. With tears in his eyes he looked at me and said "Haley, I wish I had a daddy". If it wasn't for Ean, things might be okay. But that poor innocent child who doesn't even know where his father went now has to grow up without one.


Its been three weeks to this day since the day everything happened, and we're slowly adjusting to our new life. We're finally living. Dad never let us do anything. Now, we have people over, we joined a gym, we leave the house spontaneously to do whatever we want, and we're fixing the house slowly so that we can live in it and be happy. Its different to say the least, and even though I still hate what he did, there is a hole in all of our lives, whether what was originally there was good or bad. But we're not letting that stop us from being who we are and who we want to be. Sure, juggling college classes, high school classes, a job, working at home, and being everyone's chauffeur is difficult, but... I kind of enjoy it. My family needs me right now, so that's what I want to do. I'm happy if they're happy, and we are.

We're finally happy.

Lift this Curse
by Haley AKA SleeplessDecember

The stomp of the stairs as you slowly ascend
Walk into my room, stand next to my bed
A gentile kiss on the top of my head
Who knows if you're coming back?

You grab your case, go down the stair
Around the bend, throw away your cares
Exit the door, out into your lair
Slay the monster there

You're a demon, you've been all your life
Who do you think you are, leaving us behind?
You leave us alone, but I guess that's fine
Its not like you cared anyway

Unlock the case, a silver metal sits there
Ready to use, bullet already there
But your kids watch in horror, out the window they stare
As you fall to the ground

Blue lights are seen, here come the police
They try to give you a sense of ease
They think me sad, but can't they see?
All I see is red

You're a demon, you've been all your life
Who do you think you are, leaving us behind?
You leave us alone, but I guess that's fine
Its not like you cared anyway

I know you're gone, but I have things to say
But its not like you would listen anyway
You never did, you only wanted it your way
But I guess that's what you got

You're were a curse, but that curse is gone
You were a demon, singing your dreadful song
In parting to you now, I have one thing to say:
Do you regret it?


This should explain why I won't be online for a while. This is my- or was rather- my dad. This happened at 4:30 this morning. Hopefully, I'll have this made into a song by the end of next week