just a little rant I have to get off my chest. I want to make something clear. I have alot of stuff going on in my life. I have a pending settlement, looking for a second job (and will work that second job), I still have doctors appointments for my spine, trying to make side money by landscaping, trying to help Crimson find a place to live temporarily as well as other personal issues that I prefer to keep personal. Yes, I'm not always online but I try to be as active as I can. The people that just simply write me off and ditch me,.....that hurts....

I usually host private sessions with me and friends and would love to expand the fun ^,,^ My Xbox tag is on my main page info so feel free to hit me up and let me know who you are being the most game tags are different from your FA names lol (I get confused easily) I'm not the brightest Spidox on the planet haha. Hope to hear from you guys on private notes or on this journal if you want. Later guys, I'm off to go to work. We're having a session tonight around 10pm-10:30 PM eastern time (my time)

I fell into a deep dark depression.....don't know when or how I'll feel better....
-,,- *stays up in the web*
With everything thats going on....

-losing everything I worked so hard for

-working a drive thru job because I'm disabled due to a fat stupid bitch texting and driving a medical vehicle

-this lawsuit that will seem to never end

-being treated like shit from my irl brother and his friends

-My never ending pain and numbness in various parts of my body

I feel like I should back off and stop bothering people. I have other issues but I won't state them here but I'm mentally tired. -,,-.......I just don't care anymore.....

So yet again I won't be able to make any cons -,,- at least not until my lawsuit is over with. Also because of life problems, I have been out of touch with alot of my close furiends here and it sucks -,,- I miss you guys and I'm gonna be available more to talk.

-Lawsuit should be over by the end of the year.

-I have to get my truck ready to be shoved a ways down the road for a 1/4 of a mile to the transmission shop (since my damn disability stopped my progress to fix it myself)

-Hopefully I can submit more stuff for everyone to enjoy and I'll be on skype more and Xbox

I really miss everyone and I'm sorry if my absence upset anyone here *offers hugs* this will all be over with soon, I promise

kittspidox wrote:
Hello all.

I am currently at the beginning of a long and hard journey to improve my health and well being. In January 2014 I weighed 158.8kg (thats approx 25 stone or 350lb). Through diet and exercise I have managed to get down to 151.8kg (approx 23 stone or 333lb).

I have been working with medical professionals to improve my weight and fitness and have been accepted to recieve a gastric bypass. What I would like to do though is document the process start to finish through a blog detailing pre and post operative care to aid others who may decide to follow a similar journey to myself. This blog would contain images of my progress, foods and new recipes I am using (and the recipes themselves!) and answering any queries people have about the process. I already have hosting in mind for the blog and am working with someone to design a website - however what I require more than anything is a high quality camera for photo documentation (currently my only camera is on my phone and I would like to have much better quality photographs of the process start to finish).

This campaign will help me get a new camera to document my journey with any access being used to fund new clothing I will require due to rapid weight loss expected by my doctors.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

If anybody could donate to help Kitt, anything would be a help to this good guy.

This is the website to help:

http://www.gofundme.com/adrmuw

please donate if you can.

My spider hybrid breathren flew from the U.K. to the U.S. and it's great. We shot a vid on my youtube page of his first time in a truck (licence plate disguised behind a U.K. plate so meh)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8z4RotwuZ-0

If you guys that knows him wants to get in contact with him, you can hit us up! ^,,^

So being that my transmission is busted in the GMC, I have no choice but to take the racing engine and transmission out of the Trans-Am project and do a transplant. This is gonna take some time and money I don't have =,,= but it's the only way. I honestly don't know how this truck is gonna behave since I have never driven this motor or trans set up. A step side truck (which most of the bed consist of fiberglass and not steel) should be getting thrown sideways around corners without me trying.....which is not my intentions. If all goes well, I'll have to drive around without a hood and wire up new gauges that were originally for the Trans-am, just so I can an eye on it. The stall speed converter in that transmission alone should knock me back in the drivers seat. Oh god I hope this doesn't kill me. Me and a friend who went to mechanics school with me are gonna attempt to get the old engine and trans out of the truck, take the new ones out of the car and hook it all in the truck and have it on the road before midnight. Since I'm disabled, My buddy Lonzel will have to do most of the work under the truck. God I miss being able bodied -,,-. Wish me luck guys.

On the bright side, at least the truck will have 402hp and 431lbs of torque to the wheels.

So if you didn't notice that I disappeared off the radar for a little bit due to the crap that hit the fan since February. The shit moments and the people involved made me depressed to the point that I needed to take off for a bit. A few know how sad I was around my birthday and what that was all about. Others know about another crazy uproar that happened recently with a stalker. It wasn't just the people that created it, it was the time that it happened. If it didn't happen around the time of my birthday, it was when the pain in my spine, neck and arm really started to kick in. It wasn't until the unnamed fur made fun of my disability that made me leave. I hope you all aren't upset with me about that -,,-. I miss you all so much and FA is my home; I'm sorry that I disappeared without saying anything.....well I kinda did in the journal before Kato's birthday journal.

You know......I'm still eaten up on what happened -,,- so much that it has made me physically sick. I thought the irony of being hit by an ambulance, being half ejected out of the back of my truck and being in pain the rest of my life was hard enough.....do I really need to have shit happen to me here? FA? the place I love to come to and see my friends?

I'm sorry everyone >,//,< *sigh* I don't wanna turn this into a rant journal. Thats not what I planned. The point of this journal is that I am back and my attitude isn't any different than before I vanished. I'm still the same me.....the sweet, caring and slightly dumb Spidox.

I love you guys and I love the furs that have watched me. Everytime someone watches my page, my heart gets a bit bigger each time and I feel love. So thank you all so much and I promise I will upload more stuff.

It's  Light_Sanrei 's birthday soon and I feel bad that nobody notices. Maybe you guys could go to his page and wish him a happy birthday ^,,^.

The past month and a half has been an absolute disaster. Manager calling me a faggot and nobody doing anything about it, I caused my favorite artists pain and depression (sorry endium), a bad birthday and now being threatened publicly.....I can't take this anymore....

It's bad enough that I lost my career and everything I worked so hard for in an ambulance accident because their driver decided that a text message was more important than to see me in front of them....ejecting me from the BACK window of my own truck. Lost a home, self respect, trust in others. I still try to be the nicest person to everyone but it seems to punch me in the face -,,-.

All I've ever wanted was to be happy for once in my "waste" of a life (quoted by a teacher to me). The people I admire....hate me.
Being viewed as a sexual tool, a slut, a whore.... (had unwanted advances at an early age)
Being harassed and publicly humiliated on FA.....my favorite place to be. I don't think I can be happy ever -,,-. I been crying lately because my attempts to make things right end up backfiring. Anyone that thinks I don't know what rough is....trust me I know. Especially after having my disability made fun of by the unnamed fur.

I don't know whether or not to just pack up and disappear or to stay and keep being beaten down.

This is to people I either haven't told or haven't noticed. I have a mate now. Like me or hate for for it (god knows why you'd be pissed about it), I am trying to be committed to someone that shows me love and care. Now I have had people pissed at me about this recently and I am sick and tired of this shit. I am not some sex tool that alot of people obviously think I am.

*goes around the forest setting up balloons, chairs, tables and sits on a web waiting for people*

Well I am now 27 years old. I feel like an old spider fox =,,= but hey at least I'm still in my 20's ^,,^. I also have some important life stuff going on soon....BIIIIG stuff but that's not until after this day. I love you guys.

Sorry everyone for my outburst yesterday. I just was so stressed to the point that I had enough. I did bounce back however rather quickly and thanks to the support of you guys and gals, I feel very honored to have you all <3.

Anyway enough mushy stuff..... The whole issue with the case of the wrongful child support money loss in Kentucky has finally been resolved (at least I hope). Got a call from the child support office in Kentucky and they told me that they thought that they sent back my money (lie) finally after 9 MONTHS OF WAITING I'll be getting my $602.00 back (thank god =,,=;)

On another note, I have owed drawings to my friends and I also am sorry what with issues coming up and all and I hope you dudes can forgive me for that ^,,^;. I'll be working on the art all night tonight and it'll be great because I need to get back in the game. It will be hard though with the numb paw that I'm having to live with XP.

I also wanted to say this for the first time. I am up to a high number of watcher and I have to say....wow. I never thought that I would grow this much when I started 3 years ago and I thank you all so much for your support and care. I couldn't get this far in the fandom I love without all of you. So I really love you guys for this and I will keep being the nicest and caring Spidox I can be ^,,^ Much love to all of you from the bottom of my heart

Birthdday is not till the 27th and already its depressing.....

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!
I hope that you all have a great 2014 and for those watching me with problems, I especially hope 2014 will be better for you <3. I love every single one of you, ones that know me personally and those who are watching my page all together. Your all the greatest. I am still training my right paw to draw again after my accident and I still am doing xmas art for you guys and a special pic for Zennikens. I will be working hard to make 2014 the best year ever for myself and those around me ^,,^.

*licks everyone's faces* I'm gonna go dance with my family now. MWAH!! see you soon, sweeties ^,,^ <3

I have to disappear from the fandom for a short while.....something bad has happened and I need to be alone.......
I'm so sorry

If I am this horrible shit person, say it. I am tired of nobody saying anything to me like an adult and just dropping me. I have been through enough for the past 3 years. Being told "we aren't good friends like we used to" or I couldn't stand you" or just simply dropping me.

I am on the brink of snapping here and I can't take it no longer

I have Lawyer meetings, doctors and physicians appointments and a dead end low paying job, So because I am not around is not my FUCKING CHOICE!

I am doing the best I can so pardon the fuck out of me....oh and to mention I lost my aunt yesterday morning and losing my grandmother as well.

I wouldn't do that shit to you

It's been about 10 weeks since I got feeling back in my right paw again after 2 long years of it being numb and useless.

Now I think its time to get the old drawing paw back. It's gonna take some time since I'm rusty as hell but I want to do this cause a lot of folks have been asking me when I'll start sketching again.

Well obviously I'm not gonna take commissions yet until I feel its worth any sort of money but I should move fast on it. My Parents will be gone for the next 4 days which gives me no problem to sit all day and night to re practice.

Eventually I would like to start commissions because I still have no income and bills need to be paid. So lets see how this goes and hopefully you guys and gals will like the work of a nerve damaged Fidox.

Wish me luck everyone, Slimmy Foxxan

So its been a month since the whole Child Support in Kentucky situation started, that they got the wrong Zachary Wagner and took $602 from me. I called them the day I got that letter and had to go through all this shit with explaining to them that I was never married to a girl in 2010, I never had been to Kentucky and I'm not even straight. So it's been a month now and I called them again. They still never sent the money back to me. I need to set up a tip jar cause I still need to pay insurance and other bills

Sorry everyone. Dad was drunk.......I had to get out of the house....

Hey fluffs, sorry I didn't answer your comments from the previous Journal. I was so stressed out that I really wasn't on FA much >,,< Again I'm sorry.

On a good note that I'm back here now and talkative as ever. I got a call from the child support thingy and they said "sorry about the confusion, we're gonna mail you the money we took." SO YAY FOR ME!

I have Xbox Live and my gamer tag is : Slimmy Da Fidox

I also have PayPal now so that should be good for me too hehe.

My neck is still slowly healing and I can move around better but I'm still restricted with what I do and how I move so bleh XP

I still won't be able to make it to the furbowls for a while GRRR. Sorry guys. I miss everyone that I see there.

I'm off to try to collect disability now and wait for my $602.00 to arrive home. MWAH! BIG Kisses sweeties ^,,^

After fighting for months to get my tax return from P.A. when for medical reasons, had to move back to N.J. with my family, I get a letter from the Department Of Treasury saying that I owe $602.00 to a girl in Kentucky for child support. WTF!?!?

They got my name right, they got my S.S.# right but theres one thing......I'M NOT FUCKING STRAIGHT!!

Allegedly I was married to a girl named Ashley Wagner in Kentucky somewhere in 2010........yeah ok....

Some little girl named Jericka or however you spell it is supposedly my kid. My mom looked up the records in the whole state of Kentucky and found some dude with the same first and last name as me except MY middle initial is P.......the other guy has a B middle initial.

I had to go through with telling these people about my orientation which I didn't like to do. So not only does the amount of money I "owe" make me mad but having to share my personal business with these morons made me even angrier!

I NEVER BEEN TO KENTUCKY BEFORE NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN MARRIED OR BEEN WITH A FEMALE!

GET YOUR FUCKING FACTS STRAIGHT, GOVERNMENT! STUPID ASSHOLES!

F.Y.I THEY ALREADY TOOK THE FUCKING MONEY!!!

back home. really hurting and honestly I've hit depression. Not gonna type much cause my body hurts..People I once knew that hate me now (idk why) I wish were here. I'll update more when im more healed

Well for those that still are around me, my surgery is happening this Thursday at 9 a.m. God I'm so nervous. *shivers* I won't go back into the details about them slicing my neck open in the front and moving my esophagus out to screw in titanium plates to the from of my spinal cord and taking bone from my hip to fuse into my neck >,,<...................wait....oops >,,>

but anyway I hear certain people will try to cheer me up during my 2 month recovery and I love you for it <3 I love all you guys that talk to me and others starting to know me and give me a chance.

Today was the day to get the results after getting my new M.R.I.'s. Surgery is a definite. Set for the 13th of June.
What's gonna happen is that they are gonna cut my neck open from the front and screw in medal plates in the front of my spine......after they move my esophagus over to the side. I'm really nervous and I'm really......*trembles* I'll be staying in the hospital overnight then going home to recover for a while.

Cody, I'm not sure if this will keep me from going to A.C. or not but I'll still try

I'm doing everything I possibly can to make everything work here around this situation.

One of the things I must do is to stop smoking for this surgery. It will hinder my healing process so I'll be even more irritable than normal. So if I snap....please?.....Don't take it to heart.

But right now my mind is going in all different directions at the moment. I'm not exceptionally happy right now nor am I anxious about it.

the chances are that 90% I'll get better.......I hope