WARNING: Incoming rant.

***

What the hell. My fiance whom I love dearly, dearly, dearly, is allergic to cats. Now we've gone over the options ZILLIONS of times, and he has always said, "well, we can't really get a cat just yet, so don't worry about it" which says to me "when we have enough money, we'll be getting a cat". Appearently to him, I was supposed to be getting used to not having a cat, and probably should have been thinking about what other kind of pet I'd like to have instead.

Now all my furryness aside - and yes, it's hard to put that aside, I like cats. I like cats so much and I miss having one so much that makes me somewhat suicidal - even though I'm taking insanely strong drugs that KEEP me from feeling that way. I pore over youtube videos of cats, hang out on image boards where there are cats, surf random webpages on cat behaviour, cats that look like Hitler, big cats, little cats, endangered cats, live streaming video on cats, cats, cats, cats, cats.

I miss having a cat. I miss it. I miss the communion, the rapt innocence, the undeniable and full body appriciation and love, the touch of fur under my hands, a noggin bonk, the feeling of purring under my fingers, meowing at and being meowed at in return. The riparte of play fighting, the exquiste joy of chasing a toy, and the ever present cuddling when I'm feeling low.

My fiance can do many of these things for me, and to be honest, I've got him acting like a cat most of the time just to cope. But it's not the same.

So to hear "well, when I said 'of course we'll get a cat one day', I really meant 'if they can somehow immunize me permenantly against my allergy'," it tears me up.

And we've had this conversation at least three times now where I say something about "when we get a cat" and he says somethng to the effect of "yeah...so umm...do you like rabbits?" and when it dawns on me that he's just been placating me, it hurts, not just because he's lied on a certain level, but also because I'm not going to have a cat after all, and I'd been all charged up and ready to have one.

It's sickening, because sometimes I find myself thinking "well he's a guy and won't live as long as me, so when he dies I can have a cat"...I mean what kind of person thinks that about the guy they love?

How can I get him to understand that he's telling me to cut out part of my soul because he's unwilling to take pills (and maybe clean the house once in a while). I mean I take pills right now for my depression that cost far more than stupid allergy pills. And my stupid pills have far worse side effects.

But no, this isn't about me. It's about him. He told me today that he wants me to get back on my feet artistically. I told him that much of my energy has gone into making him happy, because that's just the sort of person I am. He told me that I shouldn't focus so much on him, and I should do what makes me happy - so what do I do? I bring up the cat. Suddenly, what's good for me needs to come second again.

If I could just give up the ghost, so to speak, stop loving cats as I do, then maybe I could be happy.

Now don't get me wrong, this is probably the only MAJOR thing between us. We love each other fiercely, share many of the same interests, communicate on the same wavelength, and share many similar traits.

I just wish I could get him to TRY having a cat, instead of him playing this mindgame with me all the fucking time. Are we or aren't we? Is this a "maybe" or a "I'm saying maybe but I really mean no"? Are you just saying yes because you want the conversation to end or because you're actually willing to TRY?

Bloody fucking hell.

And no. I don't want a rabbit, gerbil, snake, iguana, fish, lizard, ferret, rodent or anything but a fucking CAT.

Ugh.

So I've quit WoW. I'm glad, it was eating up WAAAAAAAAAAY too much of my freaking time.

I might come back for the next expansion, at the very least to level at least one toon to 80 and check out the Death Knights, but I don't think I'll be able to really sucker myself into the whole raiding bullshit again.

It's just not worth the hassle. If I really want to see raids, I might as well watch them on Youtube.

***

What am I up to now? A new mniatures game called "Warmachine/Hordes" By Privateer Press. It's a rather worthy little game, especially since it's cheaper to play than Warhammer, and much of it is balanced around insanely "overpowered" abilities. So you have a caster who can shoot everything on the table once a game, but that's balanced, because once a game, their opponant can light everything on fire.

It's a fast game, and full of "OHHHHHHH MY GAAAAAAAAAWD, you just did like 34 damage to my guy with one hitpoint left!" or "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, YOU JUST DESTROYED HALF MY GUYS!"

Of course, then you have trolls that eat their kills and regenerate hit points, monsters that go out of control and start eating each other, and what is extra fun is you can grab your opponant's robots with your robot and chuck said robot into a pile of other guys, literally going bowling.

I'll see if my fiance's webcam takes stills and if it does, I'll put some pics of my minis up here.

(note: mini is really kinda loosely used, since the biggest 'minis' are about 5 inches tall and made from solid pewter).

So I decide my vacation from art has been just about long enough (it's been about a year since I've drawn ANYTHING, seriously, I needed a break after my Sheridan breakdown) and I go digging around for my Tablet and Stylus, find the tablet, no Stylus.

I have no exact desire to work with real media right away, but to be so close is annoying.

I know I should suck it up but I wanna color that thing for Dustmeat...::whine::

I've lost the muscles in my hand due to lack of practice, and I know that starting up again is going to painful, hell writing - that's right, WRITING - is painful too. Too much typing, not enough pencil holding.

So here's my question: Is any old stylus okay to use with a wacom tablet? ::chews on people::

First news:

Can't get my second HD with all the info on it for nothing. I'm going to armwrestle my mate into it.

Wrinting a new novel. Not sure when it'll be done, but I think I've got a nice self-contained plot going. Trying to work my head around a few more novel idea I've come up with, but they're just fluttering at the tip of my tounge - I can't quite get them yet.

what else, what else? Oh, my wedding plans are moving along. I think my mate's kind of at the point where he just wants to cover his head with a blanket and scream until it all goes away. (that would make for VERY cute wedding pictures!) I got this very pretty bookthat gives step by step instructions for a full year of wedding planning, so it's all been broken down and all *I* have to do is follow the steps. I like this very much, thank you!

***

WARNING: MEME.

1. Are you single or taken?
I'm the taker, not the taken. XD

2. Chocolate or flowers?
Flowers!

3. Will you do anything special for Valentines Day?
Not ON the day, but around that day I'm going on a date with my mate for nearly raw meat. It'll be sexy.

4.Do you like anyone?
No. I hate everyone. Har har har.

5. Were you dating anyone last Valentines?
Not actively. I was living with him at that point, which isn't dating, imo.

6. What would be your dream Valentines date?
Raw meat + mate. I don't much care where.

7. Do you make a big deal about Valentines?
Yes.

8. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
Probably. It's creepy to think about, wouldn't you agree?

9. Would you ever write someone a love letter?
Done that. It's cute and fun and awesome.

10. Do you believe in Cupid?
I believe Cupid's a queer man who enjoys drama on an epic scale. So...yes.

11. Do your parents give you presents on Valentines?
that's...terrifying to think about.

12. Do you still send out Valentines cards?
Har har. No.

13. Do you like candy hearts?
the hot cinnimon ones cause death in me. But the soft chalky ones are awesome and I love them with my whole heart. I could eat a FIELD of those chalky flavorless hearts with messages on them.

15. Is Valentines depressing?
rofflecopters...does it count that on Valintines last year I found out that I was severely depressed?

16. How do you feel about PDA?
If no one is looking, I like to go nuts in semi-public places, but to be honest, I dislike seeing others going at it, so...I should stop being a hypocrite, I guess. HAR HAR.

17. How is your love life?
I'm getting over being depressed, now we've got to work on his depression. Then my vagoo will likely rebel.

18. Have you ever been dumped on Valentines?
How ouch is that?

19. How many roses would you want?
6. 12 is too many and 1 is too few.

20. Will you have a boyfriend/girlfriend next Valenitnes?
No, I'll have a husband. That will be awesome.

On the side of my fursona, She and I have had a talk. To be honest, I've been living this tense denial of myself for so long, been 'acting' good and not being myself. Thus, she is me and still there. I just need to want her again. I need to want myself.

I am a dreamer who stopped dreaming. But you can only live like that for so long. Embracing my dreams - the reality of who I am - and what I am has come back into reach.

It'll take some time to heal. But I know I can grasp it again.

I can only hope my mate can handle that. But I think he can - I know he can see the good in me where I have buried it deep. I can pierce the shell of my own personal horrors and bring back the self that was just learning to love life.

I can do this, because unlike others, I am me.

To Stomi - my animus, and Lynx, my anima. Shall I ever burn in the fire of my spirit and my soul.

***

In lighter news, my compy finally got fixed. Woots. Time to make some new arts and stuff.

Upon doing one of those ever-amusing memes that float around here, it dawned on me that I've been keeping my fursona 16 years old. I'm now 26, and she and I barely relate anymore.

Aside from the fact that she's skinny and rather happy-go-lucky (where I'm more somber and now quite pudgy) I know that she's the way she is because I went through some trying times when I was 17 and my life didn't get any easier. It was safer to let Lynx be who she was and not let all the drama in my life change her. But now she and I have grown so far apart, it's like she barely makes a mark in my life anymore.

I seem to recall I only drew one image of her being changed by who I was and the effect was so depressing, I crinkled it up and threw it away.

So I think I need to let her go - to show my inner fur with a new image. But I don't know where to start. that and I think if I do cast Lynx aside, that I'm going to be extremely depressed, because she's been with me so long.

Ugh, I'm not sure what to do. Of course, I could try and roleplay Lynx through this situation and see where she ends up, but I have a feeling I'd like her to remain who she is and start fresh instead.

Of course, I don't know where to go to get help on this sort of thing, most people I know seem to have fursonas that change over time.

The pricing seems a bit weird, but hey, it's interesting, right?

The idea is to add up the cost of all the things you've ever done, but not mention what they are. Then you can make a fool of yourself by posting the grand total in a journal.

I shall enjoy seeing the worth of the smut of others. Har har har.

Smoked pot -- $10
Did acid -- $5
Did some X -- $15
Did cocaine -- $20
Did meth -- $25
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you--$40
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- $20
Had sex with members of the same family -- $50
Had sex with 2 different people in the same day -- $50
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know --$10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work-- $15
Ever drive drunk -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend --$50
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving-- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $100
Spit in someone's food --$25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work --$25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good --$25
Been raped -- $500
Have raped -- $200
Had sex with some one under 16 -- $300
Had sex with a dog -- $25
Had sex with a horse -- $50
Had sex with a cat -- $75 (add $50 if you tied it up so you didn't get scratched)
Have you ever had sex in a fursuit -- $100
Have you ever had sex while your partner wore a fursuit -- $100
Been spanked by a lover -- $50
Been whipped by a lover -- $ 100
Been fisted -- $150
If you know what "CBT" stands for -- $250
Used whip cream in bed -- $25
Used handcuffs in bed -- $50
Used a whip or paddle in bed -- $75
Ever imagined the person you where having sex with was some one else -- $100
If you have had a butt plug in for more then an hour -- $75
If you ever used any vacuum cleaner attachments -- $100
Had someone come climb in your bedroom window for sex so your parents would not find out -- $100
Used a blow up doll -- $50
Drove away from a car accident you caused -- $500
Cut yourself on purpose -- $100
Cut someone else on purpose -- $150
Pissed on some one -- $10 (Add $10 if they drank it)
Been pissed on -- $15 (add $20 if you drank it)
Shit on some one -- $20 (add $25 if they ate it)
Been shit on -- $25 (add $50 if you ate it)
If you have ever been shot -- $300
Dyed your hair -- $10
Dyed your pubes -- $20
If you ever ate your own cum (vaginal fluids for females)-- $20
Smoked while having sex -- $20
Ate a sandwich while having sex -- $50
Slapped someone across the face while fucking them-- $100
If you ever shoved a candle up someone's ass and lit it-- $200
Fucked someone while they were crying-- $300
If you have ever fucked a girl on the rag -- $100
If you ate her out after -- $200
If you have sucked your own cum out of a guy's ass -- $200
If you took this test and were completely honest add -- $500
Didn't use a condom -- $50
Got an STD -- $ 25
Have an STD -- $ 100
Planned to kill some one -- $50
Killed somebody -- $1,000
Add $5 for each tattoo and piercing you have
Add $10 for each scar over an inch long that you have

T.T;;

So my computer's been on the fritz for a while, and I haven't really been paying attention to it mostly because I've had myself convinced that if I ignore it, it'll just right itself eventually.

Yeah, that's doesn't work. first my internal soundcard stopped working, then my CD drive, then my USB ports. And still I didn't mention it, thinking nothing about it. "It's old," I told myself, those things aren't too important.

Yeah, so my fiance went to go see how he could get my computer to recognise my CD drive again, and suddenly, it stopped being able to see my harddrives.

No hardrives = no booting at all.

So we went to see how much a new one cost and it's like $100 Canadian, which naturally, we don't have.

So I guess I'm not going to be online all that much unless my fiance isn't home...or I kick him off the computer or something - but it doesn't make much difference, all my art programs are on the dead computer, and all the art i was working on. And he's got like no room on his hunk of junk so I can't even install anything worthwhile on here.

::sighs::

) I even did one of these similar not long ago, so hate me even MOAR Mwahahaha.

Yoined from  vera <3

1. What is your character's name?
Lynx. No seriously, Lynx. If she's forced to have a first and last name (because she's randomly got to have a normalish name (for instance, she's going to school), she goes by "Terra Shadow", but that's more of a code name. She's just Lynx.

2. What is your character's name in another language?
Lynx - but the original Blackfoot name for Lynx means "mountain ghost", which is where Terra (earth) and Shadow (the meaning of shade or ghost) comes from.

3. How old is he/she?
she's been 16 for a long time now, but I think I may let her get older soon - I'm 10 years older than her now...

4. What is your character's race/species?
Uhh...Lynx? Canadian Lynx, to be more specific, which is actually silvery in color unlike a european lynx which is actually more brownish and spotted.

5. Do they have a crush?
No.

6. Do they have many friends?
She tends to be able to make friends, but she's only got a very few close friends.

7. What planet is your character from?
Earth.

8. Does your character like to eat?
Yes.

9. What's his/her favorite food?
SALMON. And Yarnballs.

10. What's his/sher favorite drink?
Pepsi.

11. Is your character annoying?
Generally when she thinks she's right or she's trying to do something she thinks she knows how to. So long as you ignore her through these times, or just watch her fail at everything, you'll be very endeared to her. God help you if you agrue ot try to help, though...she'll probably just end up blowing herself up and end up taking you with her.

13. Is your character loved?
It depends on what you mean by loved. Her best friends probably do love her in a certain sort of sisterly way, but both of them tend to ignore her quirks or just make fun of her, so she often doesn't FEEL loved. (not that this hampers her spirit).

14. Is your character hated?
She's too busy causing herself grief for anyone to grow to hate her - for them to do so they'd have to really not understand how pathetic she really is. Perhaps someone who got in her way or only saw her brash confident side and never saw how sad she really is.

15. Is he/she emo/goth?
Goth in the 90's humorous sense, probably. She's got a sort of dark "we're all going to die anyway, so let's have fun!" humor to her.

16. Is he/she straight, bisexual, or gay?
Straight, but generally non-sexual.

17. Is he/she a virgin?
Yes.

18. Name 3 hobbies
Writing, trying to make her computer obey her, going on lame adventures with her friends.

19. Is your character normal?
If being a hyper-active lamebrained moronic failure of a anthropomorphic Lynx is normal...I guess she's pretty normal.

20. Is your character attractive?
Not especially. She's cute, though.

21. How does your character handle emotions?
Roller coasters have NOTHING on her. Happy, sad, angry, scared - she goes screaming from one extreme to another, in a generally unceasing manner.

22. Does your character have other forms?
She occasionally has wings...but I think she might just draw herself that way or dream of having wings...she never seems to have them when it's even mildly convenient. Her tail also seems to change length - it goes from stubby to none-at-all because I still haven't nailed down whether she should have one or not, but no, she can't morph into some crazy dragon thing or something like that.

23. Does your character overreact?
Not in a dramaish sort of way - she does freak out over everything, but not so to hurt people.

24. Is your character a criminal?
Cloning is illegal...fuck.

25. Does your character go to school?
Only when she's stuck in an anime based at a school. (long story...think Sliders with anime...)

26. What's his/her IQ?
150, but she's socially inept and has ADHD, so while she can do somethings well, most of the time she just buggers around and does nothing appropriate to her level of smarts.

27. Does your character have a disease/curse?
A curse might explain a few things, but no, other than being clumsy and ineffectual at life, she's not all zombified or anything.

28. Is your character dead?
No.

29. Does your character have a family?
Her friends are like her family. She's a created being - when an old fursona of mine feels their time is coming to an end, they basically set up a machine in Lynx Mountain to create my new fursona from the new physical, mental and visual requirements. The Old fursona then moves out of the mountain when the time comes and into obsurity.

30. Has he/she encountered any tragic times in life?
Only vauge ones. She's really not known heartbreak, death or tragedy. I rather like her that way.

31. What's the best time in your character's life?
Right now. And always.

32. If you could name 1 friend, which would you relate to your character?
If this means an RL friend who is like my fursona? Umm...my old Friend Lindsay, I guess, but really, she's much, much more like me.

33. Is your character single?
Yes.

34. Has he/she developed any relationships?
romantic ones? Sort of, but to be honest, she's not ready for all that.

35. Does he/she have an element?
Fog or Shadow. Those are elements.

36. Do you role-play your character?
I write stories with her in the third person. She often breaks the fourth wall and adresses me in them. I don't know if that's roleplay.

37. Do you write about your character?
I used to extremely often, nowadays not so much.

38. Does your character have a bad temper at times?
Generally her temper issues last about 5 seconds, then someone usually clobbers her if she doesn't clobber herself.

39. Does your character get depressed?
To be honest, yes.

40. What's your characters favorite animal?
Teddy bears.

41. Does your character have any fears?
She is terrified of success. She is also terrified of losing her innocence, since the idea is just so foreign to her, and she's seen others go through this dramatic change.

42. Does your character have any weaknesses?
clumsy, forgetful, lazy, forgetful, says whatever is on her mind no matter how stupid it might be, forgetful...

43. Does your character look up to anyone?
I'd say she looks up to her friends, even though she's jealous of them.

44. Does your character like music?
Yes.

45. What's your character's favorite type of music?
New age, rave, german industrial, 80's music.

46. Is he/she impatient?
Only when she's focused on something and people being slow get in her way of all that.

47. What's something funny about your character?
She tends to walk into walls. she spends a lot of time knocked unconscious.

48. Nicknames?
Lynx.

49. Does your character curse?
Only when the situation calls for it.

50. This test is over, what does your character have to say?
...

"You want ME to answer a question now? You go and you ask HER all about me, and don't let me anything but this ONE QUESTION. Well...hmm...what DO I have to say..." ::gets brained by a frying pan:: ::stars::

So anyways, I dropped out of school. I've always been a down person who gets stressed out and weepy over basically anything. Apparently that's not normal. And if you mix that situation with a school program that basically requires you to not sleep in your own bed most nights and try to balance that with a relationship and a time-demanding hobby like WoW, and suddenly you're not getting out of bed anymore.

So I cracked completely, went to a doctor who basically said..."so, how long have you been feeling suicidal?" So now I'm on anti-depressants, not in school anymore, and I've got no clue what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.

The animation world is so demanding so far as I've been told and I'm not sure I could handle the stress - I certainly couldn't cut it at school. I enjoy doing traditional animation, but it turns out I'm just horrible at digital animation, which is what everyone and their brother is doing nowadays. And being female most of the comic-book world scoffs at my presence, not to mention I'm so poor right now and I have a buttload of debt from my schooling.

I've also been disgustingly uninspired. I don't want to write or draw for the most part, hell I don't even want to do anything but sleep most days, which isn't helpful, I know.

I wish I could get some direction in my life, and some motivation. Right now I lack both, and it doesn't help with the depression at all - naturally I think i need to get my dose increased because I've been feeling extremely sad and worried again, and I passed out earlier today from yet another one of my patented panic attacks.

Not taking commissions at this time - sorry.

I love you all - and I miss you Nick, email sometime, eh? ::hug:: StarSlashX[at]hotmail.com

Fire, brimstone, doom and gloom all around a few months ago when half the artists I used to watch up and left.

I wasn't aware of it because I never bothered to empty my messages until today.

So...about this whole big drama thing I missed...

I have my own opinions on the subject, to be honest, if I knew you were into fapping to kiddie porn, be that cub porn, cartoon porn (that depicts children), or even photos of kiddie porn, I wouldn't let you touch my kids. Because I wouldn't trust you.

Also, those who say "oh, it's just fantasy, so it's perfectly okay" are kidding yourselves. To me, Furry art is an expression of one's inner self. And if you inner self loves to rape kids barely out of diapers, you're not someone I want to be good friends with, you know? Zaush did say somethng in his journal on the matter that I think is important to note, however. Loss of innocence is NOT cub porn. And my definition of cub art is probably much narrower than most of the people who left over the subject. To me, showing a child (most obviously a child from the size of their genitals) in a overtly sexual situation, generally with an obvious adult (or physically mature person) penetrating or molesting said child is what I would define as 'cub porn'. Child in a bathtub? Not cub porn. Child walking in on sex? Not cub porn. Kid just running around naked (which I used to do...often)? Not Cub porn. Young teen discovering his sexuality is borderline, but if it's not on behalf of some adult who is forcing them to do it for their own gratification, I will conceed that though the pedos would probably like it, it's not really cub porn.

But they allow it, right? You can draw a wolf tearing his newborn child from his wife's arms and ramming the whole thing down on his 2 foot pole, because that's artistic expression. And it's damned sexy to some folks so why not allow it, since Vore is no better? I disagree. But there are plenty of furs who think it's perfectly okay, so I guess they win out.

But that being said, art is art, and if you want to express yourself that way, eh, whatever. I probably don't or wouldn't watch your account based on that fact. And really, that's the best filter there is on this site. Don't watch the artists who draw the sick stuff you don't like.

If I had been here in all the hootenany, I probably wouldn't have left because I'm too damned lazy, but I support and understand those that did.

Either way, it's belated, most certainly, and I'll miss the lot of you that left. Either way, I'm here to stay in my own sundry way.

See you around.

~Lynx

been busy playing WoW. ><;; how sad is that?

Anyways, should have new art coming your way soon enough. I hope you'll enjoy.

Yep - they're finally open! Please check out my commissions page for examples, and note that "sketch" is actually a fully rendered drawing in pencil.

Prices:

Sketch: $10
Inked: $10
CG (no background): $20
CG (with background): $30
Conbadge (full color): $20

The above prices reflect a single character. To add another character, add half the initial amount to the price. That is, if the initial amount is $10, then add $5 per extra character. If the initial amount is $30, then add $15 per extra character.

Apologies - I have no examples of conbadges at this time since I have never offered them before. They will be a bust or face depending on your preference, with a handdrawn font of your name created uniquely for you.


WARNING - I AM NOT TAKING FETISH OR YIFF COMMISSIONS. The closest I will get to those sort of images is:

~ I will draw your characters naked, but in a tasteful pose.
~ I will draw your characters in a more naughty pose, but genitals and breasts will be covered, and they will not be touching their genitals/breasts.
~ I will draw characters who are hyper/micro/macro/herm/inflaters in tasteful poses.

I DO NOT DO ANY OTHER FETISH ART: This includes violence, vore, scat, cub, spooge, BDSM, beastiality (defined as a 2 legger being in relationship with a four legged, non-taur) or anything else you wouldn't show to your mother.


For all commissions I require:

~ A general attitude (that is, explain something of the personality of your character)
~ Reference for clothing/markings - descriptions are okay, but I prefer drawn/photo reference more.
~ A confirmed payment - I start drawing immediately after I get the money.


I can offer paypal as well as "at your own risk" cash or check through the mail. If you know another way of sending money to Canada, I'm also open to trying out things.


Please note I am not taking trades at this time. Thank you.

***QUICK QUESTION***

Okay you needent read the rest of my ranty journal, but I would like the answer to a dilemma I'm currently facing.

Question is this - do you think I should stick with my clothed (or nearly clothed) style or should I just give up and go all out for yiffy art? Which will make me more money?

Pros: Yiffy art possibly makes more money?

Cons: Yiffy art means people hate your non-yiffy art and you get a bad rep from the non-yiff-loving furs?

Anyhoo, please give me your thoughts, even if it is just "Yiffy art good" or "yiffy art bad".

Thanks, guys!


***ART NEWS***

Commissions very soon. Once I figure out prices. I'm thinking $5 for sketch, $10 for inks or B/W shading, $20 for full CG. Opinions?

Got my scanner and computer hooked up so new art should be appearing very soon - and yes, you'll finally see my animations.

Still on a bit of an artist's block, but I think I've found a solution to this, which is going to make me feel better. I think I'm going to draw outside instead of inside. This apartemtn is just so small and cramped and full of crap.

I need nature. And sunshine. And LIFE.

***LIFE NEWS***

Moved back in with my fiance. I'm in desperate need of cash, which is why I'm thinking of dropping me personal ban on naughty images, not that I have a problem with drawing them it's just all too often that fans of your art get increasingly upset with you if you aren't willing to draw basically anything upon their notice.

If that happens again the naughty shop will probably end up closed again. But I'm not putting up with the pedifiles and zoophiles and godknowswhatelsephiles who just think I'm open to drawing every sick fantasy they've ever had.

Did I mention that because of space issue in my apart ment I have exactly two feet from my desk to my bed in which I cannot move my chair very much so I end up with a cramp in my back if I sit here too long? Not to mention there's so much crap in this room and the windows are blocked off. It's like I'm suffocating all the time I'm in here. It's awful. And I have to sleep here too. I wish our stupid roommate would just move so I could move this desk into his room and feel good again. I need to color on this computer, and that's just not going to be happy.

I didn't do too bad this semester, which is nice. Considering I was sick for most of it and I was also a victim of the province-wide strike. Got a C and a C+ in two of five classes but the other were a's and b's. I should be good to go for next semester. ::nodnod::


***RANT TIME***

Well, more of a story for those following me along.

Okay about that teacher I was talking about in my last journal (the psycho who treated us all like dirt?)

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10665/

Okay, here's the fun stuff. One of the things he did to my class when we all messed up and did the wrong project was yell at us because he 'wasted $1000 bucks coming from california" where he was "talking to the Pixar guys".

Well At Sheridan we occassionally get Disney/Pixar/Dreamworks, etc to come and offer internships to the 3rd year students. The last week of School Pixar comes in.

But this guy had a class that day PLUS he told several students he would be marking their work during that class time (since he never marks outside of class time!) and that they should show up.

Well now. funny that. Class was cancelled and so most of us went to the Pixar presentation. And who dominated the Q&A period for the first ten minutes, asking questions that didn't pertain to student internships? Why, none other than that teacher!

It gets better. All of those students he ditched in the morning, AND the students he told to come to that class, were to go to the next class. Remember, this was for everyone's final marks!

What happens? Why, he doesn't show up! I joked that this might be due to him going out to lunch with the Pixar guys. Though, no one really knew what the hell was going on.

But no, this gets better. Pissed off people from the two-and-a-half classes that are not getting their final grades because this guy is gone go find the dean of Animation. And drag him to their classroom to show him that everyone was about to get screwed for their final marks (oh and I should mention that their animations and several assignments were due the next day?). Well jsut as they drag him to the class, guess who shows up to class more than an hour late?

My teacher. With the Pixar guys AND the associate dean of the arts (rank higher than the dean of animation) in tow - he had gone to lunch with all of them, it seems.

Well, the students were so very fed up with him at this point that they surrounded him and lambasted him in front of the very guys he had been trying so hard to impress, as well as his current employers. I wish I had been there. I'd had the chance (as I was one of several people who should have gone to see him to try and prove to him that I wasn't a dunce but I opted to do other things).

So yes...I'm highly satisfied with this. I know I shouldn't revel in it but this ass had it coming for a long, long time.

***Art Stuff***

I'm going to be opening commissions soon. The end.

I have so much homework to do this week (last week of the semester), I think I'm going to throw up. And I'm out of food/money. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY.

MSN PEOPLE: to those poeple who keep asking me for my MSN, or figuring out what it is (since it's not that hard to do) understand that I am NEVER, EVER on MSN. If you see me on there (and not marked busy), it's because I'm checking my email, and I probably don't have time to chat. I don't list my info here for a reason - so I don't seem rude to people who enjoy chatting. Understand that while I will add you to my contact list, you will likely never see me on.

Please stop taking this as a personal insult and leaving angry messages when I leave MSN on for a few hours while I'm not at home watching it (it's happened twice now and I would rather not deal with it anymore).


***Life Stuff***

Moving back with fiance. Thank GOD. I miss him so much and this semester has been miserable without him.

Did I mention that TODAY, I need to make a 12 second animation? And that I haven't STARTED yet?

WoW is awesome, I completed the task to get into the beta, but since I don't have confirmation, I have a funny feeling they're just going to ignore the winners and never do the beta. Or something like that.

Oh, I'm also perpetually exhauted now as I have found out I'm highly anemic. Not eating makes it even worse. YAY!


***RANT TIME!***

My (new) character design teacher is a JERK. He has nothing positive to say about anyone's work (his favorite phase is "this is shit, I mean what the fuck!?" if not "Disney would never use this shit. You know what I'm saying?") and then has the AUDACITY to tell us "Someone said that I'm harsh, well I have to treat you all the same. I can't be funny and have fun, because people would think I was being nice to some of you and mean to others."

Everything he says has a strong italian accent, and he refuses to explain himself in words he's uncertain of pronouncing correctly, which means we often only get HALF an idea and then he blames us for not doing all the work needed - even better is if someone asks him a question the he doesn't understand he's likely to say "yes, yes." and not actually mean it.

He also get completely pissed off at people who ask him questions he doesn't like. If asked to explain himself (because we're tired of being yelled at) he treats you like the stupidest most inconvient person on the face of the planet.

He also loves to find a piece of someone's work and without asking if he can show it to other people, holds it up and goes "This guy can't draw. Look at this. this is terrible. What did you think you were doing? look at this, this and this. You'd never get hired with this."

He also has this TERRIBLE way of looking right into your eyes when he's talking to the whole class. So when he's yelling at all of us it really feels like he's yelling at one person. I'm also not one to look away when he does lock eyes with me, but it pisses me off something awful.

I'm a feline! Don't fucking get in a staring contest with me! I hate having to prove I can look him in the eye when it feels like I'm being scolded.

OH! and another thing he does is treat us like a bunch of kids. I'm 24, and there are several people in the class who are older than me, and most people are over 20. But he acts like we're a bunch of punk kids who don't want to listen and don't want to learn. And it angers all of us, because we're PAYING HIM to teach us.

If we didn't want to be there, OMG, we'd FUCKING SKIP.

Also, he's only about 30-35? He's not that much older than us. There's absolutely no need to throw your weight around that much!

Best thing about this asshole is he LOVES to tell us "okay, this is what you're doing. I want this, this, this and this."

then next week, we arrive with these things done and he goes "so where's the rest of what's due?" and when we look confused he yells at all of us for being lazy.

He never writes down what's due (or gives handouts), and changes his mind for every class. Which means the ONLY class that knows what's due is...the last class of the week. Which of course is the only class he gets along with. Not that he understands that's HIS fucking fault.

Also, he says one day "Calvin and hobbes are great, I want you to study them." By the end of the week, This translated to "I want you to buy a copy of Yukon ho, and study it for a pop quiz next week"

There were only 30 copies of the book at the bookstore! FOR 100 STUDENTS! ::headdesk::

Oh and the thing I love best is his once-a-day declaration that "being a jerk means that you'll never get hired in the industry" which means, I assume, he doesn't want us to chalenge his authority or else he'll personally smash our names at all the companies he has major connections to.

(which includes Disney, Pixar and others)

What he doesn't get is he's completely pissed off 100 people who will enter the business (via our own connections) and ruin HIS chances at ever getting a job again.

And to be honest, while I might allow him to be an underling (since he can obviously draw), I would NEVER put him in charge of anyone, especially women. He's a fucking liability - of not a hefty harassment lawsuit waiting to happen.

Oh and even better - there's a policy at the school that states that if the teacher is unapproachable, we can talk to our dean and get him to tell this guy to fix things. Well, as you might have noticed this guy IS impossible to communicate with, so when people have complained to our dean this guy yells at us for not talking directly to him.

After threatening our careers, never explaining anything fully, treating us like morons, getting upset when we ask him questions, and swearing at us and calling us all lazy he wants us to say something like "It would be nice if you'd oh, give us handouts so we KNOW what you want"?

No. No one is that stupid, sorry.

If you're thinking I'm just being emo about things, and I should give this guy the benefit of the doubt because he IS a new teacher, I did that for the first 3 weeks, until I realized that going to his class was basically depressing me so badly I wasn't able to function for the remainder of the week. On top of the fact that I was sick as a dog because of that anemia thing, it was all I could do to drag myself home and cry.

And if you're curious as to why we haven't all abandoned this class:

~ Many of us want to go into character design, and we love the subject so much, we just go to the class hoping we might learn something this week.

~ We're forced to by school regulations.

~ This class (while subdivided with animation) makes up a great deal of our mark.

~ He's promised to fail anyone who skips. Thanks asswipe.

RANDOM STUFF

Back at school for a week and thought I've got a new character design teacher, he's even stricter than the last guy and I've been told that I'm not allowed to draw humanish figures anymore. It's so fucking unfair I could rip my eyes out. I do recognise and understand that I can clearly draw whatever the hell I like on other paper or in another sketchbook, but that a) gets heavy and b) is inconvienant and especially c) causes me to perhaps draw something I would like to keep for class (since I do a lot of doodling) in the wrong place. Suffice it to say I'm angry about this and will probably still draw humanish figures in my sketchbook and end up with a bad mark. It's not my fault though - I mean we're learning human anatomy in life drawing. ::sigh::

~ I am not a Pr0n artist. And while I might draw sexy poses I will never be drawing overt sexual things. A few artists on FA have expressed that they have stopped or will shortly stop drawing pr0nish things because they hate the 'fanmail' they get and I know what they're talking about. I had a few semi-naughty images on my website at one point in time and I got more emails requesting things I hadn't even indicated I would WANT to draw let alone stomach drawing. My heart goes out to those artists who cannot stand the harassment they get when they draw sexual things. And as a note to anyone who didn't bother reading this whole thing...

STOP RANDOMLY MESSEGING ARTISTS WHO LIKE TO DRAW FURRY PORN JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING THEY HAVEN'T DONE YET! They might not like what you like. They might find what you like disgusting. And maybe, just maybe, they only drew that naughty stuff because they felt like doing it once and maybe they'll never do it again because you just suggested they draw Dot Warner being assraped by sonic the hedgehog with a 18 inch cock, even though they dont draw in that style and might be homosexual.

Get a life people - just because some artists draw naughty things doesn't mean you can just request anything unbidden.


ART STUFF

~ Almost finished Sheol Kitten's Art.

~ EC...OMG. I want to die.

~ character design sheets next, if my bastard teacher lets the leash off a bit more.

RANDOM STUFF

~ Appearently I cannot watch myself. I am very disappointed as I like my art and would like to be notified when it goes up.

~ Daddyfox is holding a fantabulous contest. Join now, or I kick your ass.


ART STUFF

Working on:

~ SheolKitten's commish (GaiaOnline)

~ EC's commish (Gaia)

~ Reference pics of my various characters...

~ Naughteh pic for Daddyfox's contest...which you should join.

~ Naughteh pics of me as videogame characters.

~ (More!) Naughteh pics of me and my mate, on his request. x3

~ More art in general...:gonk: My friggin Character Design Teacher is gonna kick my ASS for drawing furries..he wants me to practice 'toon' animals. But...but...I WANNA DRAW HUMANISH FURRIES!!!


OTHER STUFF

I'm not sure if I'm really good enough to sell comissions on furbid...but if any of you are interested (not holding you to it, I'm just looking so see if it's worth trying) please respond to this journal.

Foound this on another fur's journal. I'm bored so I shall also endulge.

1. What is your character's name?
Lynx

2. What kind of character is it (furry, anime, etc) and any particular race?
Furry - Canadian Lynx

3. What is the first thing your character would think of when he/she first wakes up?
...What's that on the ceiling...my bed? Hm...why can't I move? Wait...WHY AM I GLUED TO THE CEILING?!

4. Your character's favorite outfit would be?
White miniskirt, black 3/4 armed shirt that shows off midriff, Sandles. Occasionally if she's feeling swank she'll have a see through blue chiffon dressing gown over nothing much at all, or if having a bad hair day, she will don a bandana.

5. When your character looks into a mirror, what's the first thing they would notice?
That someone has glued something to it. Probably pennies or something. Her roomates are the devil.

6. Does your character have the same tastes in food as you? YES.

7. How is your character similar to you?
She's...a little ditsy and silly, she often makes jokes that make people uncomfortable rather than amused and she's WAY too clingy when it comes to the man she loves.

8. How is he/she different?
She's able to bounce back from any sort of abuse, no matter how severe.

9. If your character could speak, would they have the same voice as you?
Absolutely.

10. If you were to suddenly become your character, what do you think would be the first thing you would do as them?
Jump off a cliff to see how indestructable I was, then, after that, I'd go to the mall and run around all crazy-like.

11. Is there something about your character that you don't like how others think of them?
Most people assume she's very stupid - whereas she's very smart, but occassionally speaks too quickly before considering what she's saying.

12. What advantages does your character have over you?
Thought this was asked before, but she's more agile, thinner, and is soft and furry all over. And those EARS. ^^;;

13. What disadvantages?
Her passion for dramatics and ability to leap into action at a moment's thought gets her into far more trouble than I since I don't generally put up the effort.

14. Do you have any secrets relating to your character that only you know?
Probably. But since it's between me and her, and we're basically the same, it's not like secrets, it's just stuff I wouldn't tell about myself.

15. Do you have any secret drawings only you know about?
Of Lynx? Sure, tons.

16. Do you have any plans for your character or are you working on something big relating to him/her?
I used to have a storyline written around her travelling through animes a la Sliders, and she often gets stuffed into things I'm working on when I need a stand in character.

17. What misconception(s), if any, do people have about your character?
Again, thought this one was asked. I guess people also think she likes to be hugged and touched and sqaushed because she's often doing cute things. This is not completely true however and while she will 'deal' with hugs from her friends, she basically dislikes any but those from her mate.

18. If you could have just ONE characteristic from your character, what would it be?
Her looks. I would KILL to look like Lynx forver.

19. Have you made any characters that go along with yours, based on real-life people, that have the same relationship with your character as you with the real-life person?
Sorta - my fiance didn't have a true fursona before he met me, and now, because of me, he does.

20. Have you written any stories about your character?
Yep.

21. How has your character changed since his/her first creation?
She was originally a winged large cat (like a puma) with wings, then a thundercat (Lynxthra), then a super-hero made of glass, then a mutate of a lynx (from Gargoyles fame), Then back to a thundercat, then mildly anime for a little while, then basically to her current form, then a superhero (a la X-men) for a little while, then human, then back to her current form. The end.

22. Give us a one-liner from him/her.
::twitch:: WHO GLUED ME TO THE GODDAMN CEILING!?!

...

Yarn. x3

Uploaded all my furry art and some of my fantasy art from DA to here, and I'm all comfy now. x3

Thanks to everyone who watched and commented as I uploaded stuff, it's really cool to see that poeple actually do like my stuff (I rarely get second looks when I upload stuff on DA).

I'm already liking this place. x3