Dear whoever,
Posted 10 years agoWhoever reads this, I'm going to tell you now. You do matter, you do deserve love, life, happiness, friends, to be seen. Yes, I am a stranger to you or a friend or someone you have seen. Yes, my name is SmileMiles. I'll tell you how I made this name, but first I'll say this. I have depression, and I have thoughts of suicide, of not deserving things. I believe I shouldn't get anything from anyone, but I get them anyway. I have a good life, loving parents, siblings who I care about, pets I love, friends who care about me, a roof over my head, food I can eat, items. I expect all of them but I've had my bad times too. My parents are divorced, I don't get to see my dad as often as I want, I worry about how people see me, I often need someone to help me when I panic, I need someone to be my anchor. I spend my time in my room alone, I don't like to talk. I take everything to heart, I can't stand up for myself, I rely on my sister more than I should, I have a therapist I talk to, I hate being alone but I want to be alone, my friends are far away. I keep to myself and I keep my feelings hidden. I break down in tears when I can't handle anything anymore. I've been sexual harassed, I believe there is a good side to everything, I trust people often that I get hurt in the end, I've been bullied, cyber bullied, I've been in a fight, I've been near death, and once I became a bully. But I bullied only one girl who is my best friend now, I bullied her cuz her name was longer then mine, I was in 4th grade. I've lost friends, I've posted sad thing's online, once I didn't want to go to school to I faked being sick, I didn't want to face my bullies. One friend, I was close to her became a bully to me, we stopped being friends, I was hurt. I've thought about cutting, of killing myself, but I get scared. I don't like pain, and I don't like seeing my loved ones in pain. I have to take pills for my depression, I thought I was a freak. My panic attacks I need pills to, I thought I became a drug addic. No, I was not a freak, I was not a drug addic. When I heard the pills I was getting, I laughed. They sounded like an evil character out of a story. I called myself SmileMiles, I have come so many miles in my life, I was sad and frowned. But I decided, if I was going to face life, I'll face it with a smile. To show I am strong, to show I'm okay. I'm called SmileMiles, to smile no matter the miles I face.
That is my story, I'm still working on it. I still have life I have to live. If you need someone to talk to, I'll gladly talk. You have questions I'll answer, you want a friend, you had one when you read this. I poured my life, my feelings, out to show those who have thoughts of suicide, I'm here, I'll talk you out of it, I'll do anything to help you keep going. To face life with a smile.
That is my story, I'm still working on it. I still have life I have to live. If you need someone to talk to, I'll gladly talk. You have questions I'll answer, you want a friend, you had one when you read this. I poured my life, my feelings, out to show those who have thoughts of suicide, I'm here, I'll talk you out of it, I'll do anything to help you keep going. To face life with a smile.
Quiz
Posted 10 years agoWhat's your name?
Smile Miles *smiles*
2.) Do you know why you were named that way?
I was named Smile Miles so I can remember that no matter how hard life is I need to smile for all the miles life takes me. * looks serious*
3. What is your status?
Single. *ears and wings flatten and sigh*
4.) Have any abilities or powers?
I am a pheonix fox so I have fire.. *thinking face*
5.) Stop being a hornswoggle!
NEVER~! *smiles evily*
6.) Uh... if you were to get in a fight with a strong wrestler, do you think you'd win?
Yes, I have fire, fangsm claws, wings, anger, love. *smiles*
7.) Riiiight... Have any family members?
no, not really. *shakes head*
8.) Oh? How about pets?
Nope. *smiles sadly*
9.) Cool, I guess. Tell me something that you don't like?
I don't like it when people think their better than others, or how people don't respect others or their rights.*growls*
10.) Something that you do like?
Rights, freedom, friends, smiles, drawings. *laughs*
11.) Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
Drawing, caching fish, writing, and looking for a mate. *tail wags and face lights up*
12.) Have you ever gone through pain yourself?
everyone has gone through pain once. It's a matter of did we survie the pain or give up. *sad smile*
13.) Ever had a strange dream before?
I wouldn't say strange I'd say very imaginal dreams. *sweat drop*
14.) What kind of animal are you?
Fox and pheonix *smiles proudly*
15.) Your worst habits?
forgetting to smile and letting the dark thoughts over ride my mind. *looks sad*
16.) Do you have a favorite artist you look up to anyone at all?
Xylea, Didathewolf, and Kittywithclaws *grins and looks proud*
17.) Gay, straight, or bi?
Bi *blushes*
18.) Do you currently attend college?
not yet *smiles*
19.) Ever wanna get married one day?
Yes. *looks excited and happy*
20.) Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?
I don't think I do. *looks around*
21.) What are you most afraid of?
losing those close to me and giving up my life. *sadness*
22.)What color is your hair?
hair is gold, fur is light yellow light light yellow, tail and ears are like a fire and their colors, wings too *looks in mirror*
23.) Eyes?
Gold *looks close in mirror*
24.) What do you usually wear?
white dress *looks at clothes*
25.)What's your religion?
Wiccan *grins*
26.)Do you wish this quiz is over?
Does it have to be? * looks sad*
27.) Well, it's still not over.
Yay~! * jumps around*
28.) Anyways, where do you live?
I like to travel and help people with their problems, some say I'm like a mother. *sweet smile*
29.) What class are you? (Low class, middle class, high class)?
Middle class *looks confused*
30.) How many friends do you have?
a little group *thinking of them*
31.) If you could change anything about you, what would you change?
I wouldn't change anything, I like the way I am. *smiles*
32.) What are your thoughts on on pie?
PIE~!!!!! *screams in happiness*
33.) Alright. What's your favourite food?
anything strawberry, fruits, veggies, meat...food *stomach growls*
34.) Favorite drink?
water, pop, tea, red bull. * drinks water*
35.) What is your favorite place?
under the sun in the forest near a body of water with a pretty veiw. *smiles*
36.) Least favorite?
school *whines*
37.) Are you still wanting the quiz to end?
No, not really. *smiles*
38.) Well, it's over you bonkerballs!
Otay. *flys away bored*
Smile Miles *smiles*
2.) Do you know why you were named that way?
I was named Smile Miles so I can remember that no matter how hard life is I need to smile for all the miles life takes me. * looks serious*
3. What is your status?
Single. *ears and wings flatten and sigh*
4.) Have any abilities or powers?
I am a pheonix fox so I have fire.. *thinking face*
5.) Stop being a hornswoggle!
NEVER~! *smiles evily*
6.) Uh... if you were to get in a fight with a strong wrestler, do you think you'd win?
Yes, I have fire, fangsm claws, wings, anger, love. *smiles*
7.) Riiiight... Have any family members?
no, not really. *shakes head*
8.) Oh? How about pets?
Nope. *smiles sadly*
9.) Cool, I guess. Tell me something that you don't like?
I don't like it when people think their better than others, or how people don't respect others or their rights.*growls*
10.) Something that you do like?
Rights, freedom, friends, smiles, drawings. *laughs*
11.) Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
Drawing, caching fish, writing, and looking for a mate. *tail wags and face lights up*
12.) Have you ever gone through pain yourself?
everyone has gone through pain once. It's a matter of did we survie the pain or give up. *sad smile*
13.) Ever had a strange dream before?
I wouldn't say strange I'd say very imaginal dreams. *sweat drop*
14.) What kind of animal are you?
Fox and pheonix *smiles proudly*
15.) Your worst habits?
forgetting to smile and letting the dark thoughts over ride my mind. *looks sad*
16.) Do you have a favorite artist you look up to anyone at all?
Xylea, Didathewolf, and Kittywithclaws *grins and looks proud*
17.) Gay, straight, or bi?
Bi *blushes*
18.) Do you currently attend college?
not yet *smiles*
19.) Ever wanna get married one day?
Yes. *looks excited and happy*
20.) Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?
I don't think I do. *looks around*
21.) What are you most afraid of?
losing those close to me and giving up my life. *sadness*
22.)What color is your hair?
hair is gold, fur is light yellow light light yellow, tail and ears are like a fire and their colors, wings too *looks in mirror*
23.) Eyes?
Gold *looks close in mirror*
24.) What do you usually wear?
white dress *looks at clothes*
25.)What's your religion?
Wiccan *grins*
26.)Do you wish this quiz is over?
Does it have to be? * looks sad*
27.) Well, it's still not over.
Yay~! * jumps around*
28.) Anyways, where do you live?
I like to travel and help people with their problems, some say I'm like a mother. *sweet smile*
29.) What class are you? (Low class, middle class, high class)?
Middle class *looks confused*
30.) How many friends do you have?
a little group *thinking of them*
31.) If you could change anything about you, what would you change?
I wouldn't change anything, I like the way I am. *smiles*
32.) What are your thoughts on on pie?
PIE~!!!!! *screams in happiness*
33.) Alright. What's your favourite food?
anything strawberry, fruits, veggies, meat...food *stomach growls*
34.) Favorite drink?
water, pop, tea, red bull. * drinks water*
35.) What is your favorite place?
under the sun in the forest near a body of water with a pretty veiw. *smiles*
36.) Least favorite?
school *whines*
37.) Are you still wanting the quiz to end?
No, not really. *smiles*
38.) Well, it's over you bonkerballs!
Otay. *flys away bored*