So for those of you who don't know, I am what is known as a queer. That is, one who is not gay but definitely not straight. And as a queer male, I'm putting the gay male community on notice, right here and now. Everytime I meet a cute guy, he's either a slanderous fool or he wants to have my babies within an hour of my meeting him. This ain't no ricky lake. This ain't no lifetime network movie. This ain't no after school special. I didn't know you liked to get wet. I mean.... well, you get the point. People have no concept of time when it comes to relationship and it drives my craw batty. Look at me, I'm mixing metaphors, for god's sake! Anyway, it's no fun being around someone who feels more than you feel for them. It's like hanging out with drunk people... sure it's fun if you're drunk too. But if you're not, then it get's real old real fast...either that or you're some sort of predator. Trust me, I know what it's like to be lonely, but you can't go through life with this 'take what I can get' attitude. It's just bad news waiting to happen. As the newspeople say, no news is good news. And any publicity is good publicity. Also, if it ain't broke don't fix it, stop the presses and other aphorisms. So don't do it, people. Or...as the nike slogan goes...just do it. But don't fall in love afterwards. Sarite? Sarite.

Oh that reminds me, I'm going to teach all the non english speaking employees at my work to say sarite. I think it will increase their communication and entartainment skils to no end. It's a hell of a lot easier than teaching people to speak english proper... hmm... wasn't I supposed to be looking for a job doing that? Oh well, I'm sure one will fall into my lap sooner or later. But just in case...better watch some more youtube videos.

TTFN

Seriously, ....it's like the internet allows me to endure states of extreme fatigue with little to no effort. I'm not an insomniac. I just act like one. I have to get off of here before I start buying stuff. I sometimes do that late at night when I'm half asleep. Or when i'm a little tipsy. Or whenever. I bought a fizzy pop scented candle for 10 bucks the other day. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm like this far from commissioning a bunch of artists on here. Actually that's not a bad idea. But No. I must pace myself. Now there's a kitty watching me type this. He's like 'what's with the cursor? It's a thing.' No now he's looking at the mirror oop, back to the cursor now. Now he's watching me type. Hey kitty! Hey! Luvvvv yoooooooo!!! Awww, he cute. No, don't step on the keyboard kitty! Kitty kitty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a journal!!!

Interesting fact. Psytrance is meant to guide listeners into an alpha wave state similar to meditation. Generally psytrance is played at 140 to 150 bp. Alpha waves are 8 to 12 cycles per second. You'll notice a constant overlay of 16th notes in this music. That's four notes for every beat (well they're actually beats in themselves, and not melodic). For a 145 bpm song that makes 9.6 Hz, and the tracks tend to alternate slightly in tempo as sort of a catch all to synch the audience's brainwaves into an open eyed meditative state. This is typical of trance forms of music.

Psytrance is also very repetitive. I believe that some of the repetitive african drum music you hear in western and central africa is also meant to induce this state. I say western and central because I can most clearly place this type of drumming in the context of the tribes that also use Ibogaine in a ceremonial capacity. However, a lot of music I've heard from sub saharan africa sounds repetitive to me. I think it is structured using different principles for a different way of listening.

Oddly enough, I personally have felt similar effects from rock music...but in all instances of the effect I was in an interactive, live setting and not listening privately.

It's an awesome feeling when you get into the music.

I swear this youtube thing sucks me in every time I come across a computer. It's a real problem. Or would be if I had stuff to do. But really, do we need the threat of consequences to do something constructive? Isn't the threat dying alone and full of regret for a wasted life enough?

If I were as romantic as I once was back when I was a mere child all those years ago (about 6 years ago) I might say that we shouldn't need threats to do something good. One's own intrinsic desire to create should be enough to drive productive work. Okay, maybe I might still say that*, my point is expecting people to do good things based on intrinsic desire is as naive as saying that the free market can self-regulate.

Social incentives and rules, for example, are said by sociologists to be the strongest mitigating factor in human interaction. There are a lot of things we don't do because of the consequences we might face from our peers. Even in a society which advocates the free spirit etc. etc., people have to count on positive interaction with others in order to get their needs met. Imagine if everyone simultaneously decided to exclude you. You couldn't buy food, you couldn't ride the bus or get gas for your car, you couldn't earn money or even panhandle. You'd die. Or live in the jungle and become a wild ape man. Sounds like a great idea for a story!

Anyway, hopefully some social incentive will push me away from the computer now. Come on society, develop new conventions in pace with our rapidly developing technologies. Geez.

*I'm sure that most of the artists on this site are not creating in order to comply to some social rule...

It all started with a chance encounter with an old issue of Boris the Bear. I was searching through the weekly warehouse dollar sale comix section (all proceeds go to the local SPCA) when I came across some amazing cover art of funny animals dressed in space suits. I was surprised. I expected spiderman and x men, maybe even Groo but as I searched through the boxes and boxes of comics I ran across more and more funny animal publications. Apparently there was an Xplosion of anthropomorphic comics in the 80's with titles like Rocket Raccoon, Wacky Squirrel and Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew. Who'da thunk it? I'd known of nothing beyond Usagi Yojimbo and TMNT...outside of comics which may have been adapted to television. Actually, according to one Boris fan, who wrote in to issue 2 of the Dark Horse series, many of the series that came out during this furry frenzy, this age of anthro this...well you get the idea. Apparently a lot of them sucked. But not Boris. Anyway, I've decided to start a new hobby, collecting anthro comics! This is my favorite hobby since my hobby of collecting old school nintendo games!

You too can find many of these titles at comic stores in your area, and probably for pretty cheap too!

You know, I did notice something, though. The old school anthro material has a different feel than I see coming from the furry community today. Maybe it's a little less self conscious of the furry fixation, maybe it's a little more tied into fantasy fiction...maybe it's just the humor. Or humour for you brits out there. Hmm, something to think about further.

Last night marked the beginning of the end of my last semester at State - the end of my short short and prose poetry class. I have to say, I'm sad it's over. I really enjoyed that class. Short shorts are fun. I have a long way to go with fiction but the longest thing I've ever written must have been about seven pages so compression is a plus. Prose poetry, not to be confused with prose or verse is new to me, very strange but once I got the hang of it, I took to it like water. In celebration of this, I think I'll post something from each of this semester's writing classes.. works in progress if you will. Oh and I appreciate feedback - don't be shy, I've done workshop, I'm used to it.

Slept in again! Hate it when I do that. I know what you're thinking. 'Wow, this guy is wild, sleeping in is bad ass' but that's just the tip of the ice berg my friends. Okay, check it out, I have these stamps, right? They have a picture of the liberty bell, and say 'forever' along the side. Know what that means? That means when the cost of stamps go up, these stamps still work! Ha! Take that, USPS. Just another way I like to stick it to the man.

I'm going to be using one today to pay my parking ticket...I sometimes park in next morning's street sweep zone outside my house thinking it'll motivate me to get up early. Doesn't work very well. What can I say? I'm a bad ass.

Are you still reading this?

I was looking on craigslist yesterday and noticed a big difference between the m4m and the w4m boards. The first are very graphic while the latter seem, I don't know how to say it, needy or clinical. Actually, some of the women on the w4m sounded like very nice people but I have to wonder what their chance of success is in this craigslist venture. Because of the creeps. Others just threw out a couple of stats and hoped for someone to come along and calculate how well they might 'compliment each other'. Well, nothing wrong with meeting someone online but something about this particular process seems artificial. Artificial as opposed to the organic process of meeting people, without expectations and slowly, not deliberately, developing affection. Or the equally organic process of people hitting it off right away because they have 'good chemistry' - something I think an immediate presence would facilitate better than an email correspondence. Communicating through text eliminates most aspects of interpersonal communication. Then there's the creeps.

Some people are very purpose driven. For some it's all business, they know what they want from the people they meet. They have a clear sense of purpose when it comes to any undertaking. I'm not a business man. I don't need to go into a situation wanting something. I don't ask for anything material from anyone, almost any mindful and respectful person is good in my book. They're less common than they should be I guess. However...

Recently I've taken another look at my friend T, whom I sometimes felt dismissive towards, and realized what makes him amazing. Another benefit of really paying attention to him was that I developed a deeper understanding of how he thinks, and how that is reflected in is words and actions. He's not a genius, he's not very organized, but he's legit, he's gone on tour, he does all the footwork he needs to to get stuff done, makes the connections needs to, and he knows how to talk to people. He helped make my Halloween party, not last halloween when our band played our first house party but the one before. My room mates and I got the kegs, he booked four bands to play - I saw him do it, easily convincing them that this was the place to be. Not that it wasn't.
What I'm saying is take another look at your friends and acquaintances. You may be surprised what you find.

This process has a flip side, though, you may realize someone who you thought was a friend is not.
Now excuse me while I stuff my face with dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets.